1 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,502 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,605 (audience laughter) 3 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,511 JESS: It was a scary week. 4 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:47,213 'Cause here's what you got to understand. 5 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:49,150 A hit television show today– 6 00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:52,850 a big hit television show– what does it get? 7 00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,219 Ten million viewers. 8 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,755 Let's go crazy and say 15. 9 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:59,626 15 million viewers, 'cause this is a big, giant hit. 10 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,795 Here's what you got to understand. 11 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,931 I Love Lucy: 60 million. 12 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,666 Oh, yeah. (chuckles) 13 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,103 It's been a long time, but I remember that week. 14 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:13,600 That was a scary week. 15 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,874 It was a very scary week. 16 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,344 Those guys scare too easy. 17 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,745 I'm from the Midwest. 18 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,680 I've lived through the Depression, the Dust Bowl. 19 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,848 I don't scare that easy. 20 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,850 But, yeah, it was a scary goddamn week. 21 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,887 Department stores used to be open late on Monday nights. 22 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,856 Then they switched to Thursday night. 23 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,570 You know why? 24 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:34,761 'Cause nobody was leaving home during I Love Lucy on Mondays. 25 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,765 There was a significant drop-off in the number of people using water 26 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,101 between 9:00 and 9:30 on Monday nights. 27 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,435 Out of the blue… 28 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,704 Everyone almost lost their jobs. 29 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:47,474 Lucy and Desi almost lost their lives. 30 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,975 Out of thin air. 31 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,411 You're asking when did they find out? 32 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:54,347 Same time as everyone else, listening to Walter Winchell. 33 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:59,190 I'm minding my own business, listening to Walter Winchell, and bam. 34 00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:01,254 At the end of the broadcast. 35 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,590 This is what you got to understand. 36 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:07,894 It wasn't small potatoes when Winchell ended his broadcast by saying… 37 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,563 “Lucille Ball is a Communist.” 38 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,990 Just like that. 39 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,469 Lucille Ball is a member of the Communist Party. 40 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:19,439 -Yeah. -And she'd already seen the magazine story 41 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:22,842 about Desi when Winchell came on. 42 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,477 The magazine came out on Mondays, 43 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,913 but her publicist brought her a copy on Sunday night. 44 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,820 What were they doing when they first heard the news? 45 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,830 What were they doing? 46 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,352 I don't know what Lucy and Desi were doing, 47 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:35,588 but it was Lucy and Desi, so they were either tearing each other's heads off 48 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,190 or tearing each other's clothes off. 49 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,393 ANNOUNCER (over radio): It's time, America, time for Walter Winchell. 50 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:43,463 Presented to you by Gruen, the Precision watch. 51 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,765 Gruen, the finest watch you can wear. 52 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,234 -Gruen, the finest watch you can give, brings you the man… -(door opens) 53 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,437 -DESI: Lucy, I'm home. -(door closes) 54 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,373 LUCILLE: Where the hell have you been, you Cuban dimwit?! 55 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,808 DESI: Oye, easy does it. 56 00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:56,710 LUCILLE: You philandering bongo player! 57 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,780 -DESI: I was playing cards with– -(slap) 58 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,180 -Hey! I was playing cards with– coño. -(slap) 59 00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,315 -Oh, damn it. -You tell me when it starts to hurt. 60 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,650 ♪ ♪ 61 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,919 -LUCILLE: The boat? The… -DESI: Yes, we were playing cards on the boat. 62 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:08,755 LUCILLE: Since last night? Since 27 hours ago? 63 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,857 -DESI: Yes. -And you couldn't get to a phone? 64 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,250 -DESI: No. -Why? 65 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,259 DESI: I was passed out a lot of that time. 66 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,394 (Lucille groans angrily) 67 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,431 LUCILLE: That's tomorrow's Confidential. 68 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,166 DESI: Why do you even read that magazine? 69 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,735 -LUCILLE: Why do I even– Well, in this case… -(Desi groans) 70 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,803 …it's 'cause my husband's on the cover with another woman. 71 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,505 So it caught my eye. 72 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,674 The story chronicles a night on the town with you and the… 73 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,209 DESI: That's somebody's niece. 74 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,177 -LUCILLE: What the hell do I care if it's somebody's niece? -From Westinghouse. 75 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,790 That's the Westinghouse corporate– You were there. 76 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:34,647 That's the guy's niece. 77 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:38,180 That picture was taken last summer. 78 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,720 LUCILLE: You're right. 79 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,423 This was taken at the Westinghouse corporate retreat. 80 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:45,558 -DESI: Yes. -I apologize. 81 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,595 -DESI: Hmm. Say, “Desi, I apologize for doubting you…” -No. 82 00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:52,799 DESI: “…for I see now that this picture was taken not last Wednesday night 83 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,669 “but six months ago at the Westinghouse corporate retreat, 84 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,271 and I will never doubt your love for me again.” 85 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,440 -Say that. -No, and you're doing it again. 86 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,709 You're pronouncing it “Westing-gouse.” 87 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,210 DESI: It is “Westing-gouse.” 88 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,679 LUCILLE: “Westinghouse.” 89 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,682 DESI: Say, “G-H-O-S-T.” 90 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,816 LUCILLE: “Ghost.” 91 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,818 DESI: You don't pronounce an “H” after a “G.” 92 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,386 “Westing-gouse.” 93 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,230 He said, “The most popular of all television stars was…” 94 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:20,326 “Was confronted with her membership in the Communist Party.” 95 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,529 Yes. 96 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,864 He could have been talking about Imogene Coca. 97 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,299 **** you. 98 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,768 He was not talking about Imogene Coca. 99 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,380 (quiet chatter) 100 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,200 VIVIAN: This is nonsense. 101 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,256 It's nonsense, and it will get worse before it gets better. 102 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:54,127 Little Rusty Hamer, when he signed his contract– 103 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,463 or the guardian, whoever signs the contract for him– 104 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,998 he had to sign a loyalty pledge. 105 00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:00,166 Did anyone know that? 106 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,670 Hmm? 107 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,372 Bill? 108 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,975 Bill? 109 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,578 Is she talking to me? 110 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,879 Yeah. 111 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,147 'Cause she knows I'm here? She can see me? 112 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,582 Yes. 113 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,917 VIVIAN: Did you know Little Rusty had to sign a loyalty pledge? 114 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,486 I don't know who the **** Little Rusty is. 115 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,421 Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show. 116 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,822 -That's not his name. -It is his name. 117 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,624 -The littlest kid from Danny's show? -Yes. 118 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,693 Rusty is the character's name, not the actor. 119 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,729 They're both named Rusty. Rusty Williams is played by Rusty Hamer. 120 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,897 And Hamer's a Communist? 121 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,699 He's seven years old. 122 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,934 -And he's interested in politics? -No, imbecile. 123 00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:38,405 I'm saying he's seven years old and they made him sign a loyalty pledge. 124 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,839 Uh-huh? 125 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,708 This is getting out of hand was my point. 126 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,744 Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid named Rusty Thomas? 127 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,790 Are you drunk? 128 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,882 It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian, so, you know, of course. 129 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,583 Bob and Jess and I were up all weekend 130 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,850 working on the script you're about to read, 131 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:56,189 so on behalf of all of us, I want to say how much we appreciate your respect. 132 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,658 Believe me, you do not want me to read this sober. 133 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,627 I'm starting to get a little tired of your casual insults. 134 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,363 Well, my insults don't feel like putting on a ****ing tuxedo for you, kid. 135 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:06,232 Jess, why don't you tell your supporting cast that we don't work for him either. 136 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,100 You all work for me! 137 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:12,439 Wh… What you all have to understand is this. 138 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,608 Here's what you have to understand. 139 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,777 We're all tense. 140 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,320 Seriously? That was it? 141 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,256 We're all tense. And the cure for that is just do the show. 142 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,292 Normal production week. 143 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:33,560 We're gonna need someone to play Lucy and Ricky. 144 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,661 Those are critical roles. 145 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,963 The two of them are in Desi's office 146 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,732 meeting with the network and the sponsor right now. 147 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,266 I'm sure there's an explanation. This will all be over by show night. 148 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,102 One way or the other. 149 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,370 Yeah. No. 150 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,771 Let me be clear. 151 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,606 I said, “This will all be over by show night.” 152 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,408 Bill said, “One way or the other.” That's gallows humor. 153 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,576 I said, “Yeah,” but I did not… 154 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,212 -The sooner you stop talking… -Yeah. 155 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:55,882 I think everyone's acquainted, but let's go around. Joe. 156 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:56,983 Uh, Joe Strickland, CBS. 157 00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:58,618 Howard Wenke, also CBS. 158 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,754 Roger Otter, Philip Morris. 159 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,289 Irwin Gotlieb, attorney for Desilu. 160 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,959 Sam Stein, attorney for Lucille Ball. 161 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,495 Tip Tribby, VP of Public Relations for Philip Morris. 162 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:12,132 Tip, if Winchell had it cold, he'd have used her name, 163 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,768 it would have been at the top of the show, not the bottom, 164 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,171 and this morning, we'd be reading about it on the front page of every paper. 165 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,706 -Am I right? -Yes. 166 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,410 They don't have it. 167 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,710 Can you see where CBS might be concerned that there's an it to have? 168 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,790 -Do you see that? -Uh, couldn't follow you. 169 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,882 Lucy, you need to tell me right here and now what the hell is going on. 170 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,517 You don't want to talk to my wife like that, amigo. 171 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,918 Or what, Des, you're gonna beat me up? 172 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,860 Oh, she will. 173 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,321 So we're done with introductions? 174 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,490 I'm not a Communist, I've never been a Communist, 175 00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,292 but technically, yeah, I am. 176 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,827 JOE: Jesus Christ. 177 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,620 Do you get what's happening here? 178 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,563 Do you know that this is not funny? 179 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,199 Yes, I do get what's happening, and, yes, I know it's not funny. 180 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,401 -Lucy… -My father died when I was very young. 181 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,237 I was raised by my mother and my grandfather, a man named Fred C. Hunt. 182 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,440 I'd like everyone but Howard to leave the room. 183 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,408 Philip Morris pays for the show. 184 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,978 And they get their money's worth, so give us a minute, would you? 185 00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:01,781 ROGER: (sighs) She's smoking a Chesterfield. 186 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,284 Could she at least smoke one of the seven brands Philip Morris offers? 187 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,353 -Got it. Got it. -(door opens) 188 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,988 -Thank you. -(sighs) 189 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,490 (Desi clears throat) 190 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:12,726 (door closes) 191 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,895 Fred C. Hunt, my grandfather, was a member of the party. 192 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,365 This was in the early '30s. I was in my early 20s. 193 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,867 He never used the word “Communist.” 194 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,669 But he cared about workers, the working man. 195 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:27,240 He raised my little brother and me, and I wanted to please him. 196 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,709 So I checked the box. 197 00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,245 Back then, it wasn't considered much worse than being a Republican. 198 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,313 DESI: Hmm. 199 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,981 -HOWARD: Have you been to a meeting? -No. 200 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:36,820 -Never? -No. 201 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:39,850 -You were at a cocktail party, later you found out that people… -No. 202 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,870 Have you ever subscribed to a publication… 203 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,657 My entire relationship with Communism is, 20 years ago, I checked a box. 204 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,626 Why is this coming out now? 205 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,496 The committee investigated her and cleared her. 206 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,999 But then last week, uh, William Wheeler convened a special session out here, 207 00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:56,903 a private session, called her in again, and that's why we're sitting here. 208 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,174 (sighs) 209 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,642 (Howard exhales sharply) 210 00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:06,446 And nobody's picked it up? 211 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,281 Nobody's picked up the story. 212 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,784 Not a single paper, not a single news network, including your own. 213 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,754 Maybe. 214 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,189 Maybe we're out of this. 215 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,490 We just don't know yet. 216 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,793 When will we? 217 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:24,164 If you tape a show Friday night, means you still have a show. 218 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,360 Okay. 219 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,747 -You and me, -(door closes) 220 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,949 we've been through worse than this. 221 00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:44,784 (sighs) We have? 222 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,860 No. 223 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,956 That's what I thought. 224 00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:51,424 (Desi clears throat) 225 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:54,728 Hey. The whole piece was invented out of thin air? 226 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,498 -Huh? -Four pages, 1,500 words? 227 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,166 Are you being funny right now? 228 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,669 That is the second time someone's asked me that this morning. 229 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,871 I'm Lucille Ball. When I'm being funny, you'll know it. 230 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,507 -(chuckles) -They invented the whole thing? 231 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,409 You don't think we got bigger fish to fry? 232 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,212 -They invented the whole thing? -Yes, they invented the whole thing. 233 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,546 I was on the boat playing cards. 234 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,490 They invented the whole thing, and I'm angry at them. 235 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,684 And I'll do something about it, but right now… 236 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,785 -Got it. -Hmm. 237 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,120 Priorities. 238 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,187 You're right. 239 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,356 Say that again. “Desi, you're right.” 240 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,250 No. 241 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,496 Everything's gonna be fine. 242 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,664 Nothing's gonna happen to you. I won't allow it. 243 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,434 I just won't. 244 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,735 Hmm? 245 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,150 -You've never done that before. -I know. 246 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,452 I've seen other people do it in movies I've been in. 247 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,753 (Desi chuckles) 248 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,726 For the love of God, old man, this isn't hard. 249 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,796 Rusty Hamer plays Rusty Williams on The Danny Thomas Show. 250 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,665 He's in second grade, and they made him sign a loyalty oath 251 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,340 when he signed his contract, which I think is ugly. 252 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,870 I don't know why this is tripping you up. It wasn't confusing. 253 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,939 There's no such thing as The Danny Thomas Show. 254 00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:15,742 It's called Make Room for Daddy. Don't tell me comedy. 255 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,811 And if Little Rusty is a Communist, 256 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,460 then I'm gonna beat the shit out of a seven-year-old kid. 257 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,881 -I have no problem with that. -I'm done. 258 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,450 That, right there, 259 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,919 was funnier than anything you've written so far this year. 260 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,187 (chuckles) 261 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,355 That's not… 262 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,957 -I've written plenty of funny… -No. 263 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,392 (doors opening) 264 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,296 ♪ ♪ 265 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,701 Good morning! 266 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:47,273 Mm. Don Glass is directing this week? 267 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,242 -We'll be fine. -(sighs) 268 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,477 You're wondering what's going on. 269 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,580 No matter what's going on, we all support you a thousand percent. 270 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,149 I'd like to find out what's going on before I make that commitment. 271 00:11:56,249 --> 00:12:00,353 A long time ago, Lucy accidentally checked the wrong box on her voter registration. 272 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,655 That's the first act of a new episode right there. 273 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,580 -Yeah, “Lucy Gets Blacklisted.” -That's not a joke, Bob. 274 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,160 You made the joke. I just put the button… 275 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,620 Last week, she testified in a closed session. 276 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,897 -She was cleared. -Okay. 277 00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,198 Yeah? She was cleared. 278 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,868 So I don't know where Winchell got his information, but it was wrong. 279 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,237 As you can see, it was not picked up by any newspaper. 280 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,571 So let's do our show. 281 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,507 Jess, it's your stage. 282 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,741 (clears throat) 283 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,376 I Love Lucy , episode 204. 284 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,612 Season two, episode four. 285 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,380 “Ethel and Fred Fight.” 286 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,830 Teleplay by Bob Carroll, Madelyn Pugh and myself. 287 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,651 Took three of you to write this one? 288 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,654 Okay, come on. And directing this week, Donald Glass is back with us. 289 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,230 -Let's give him a hand. -(applause) -Hey, thanks. It's good to be back. 290 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,463 JESS: Act one, “Interior, the Ricardo's living room, night.” 291 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,365 Excuse me. Donald. 292 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,333 -Y-Yes? -Good morning. I'm Lucille Ball. 293 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,350 I sure know that, Lucy. 294 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,371 I wanted to make sure because you haven't been here in a while. 295 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,730 Is it because you've been going through puberty? 296 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:56,409 I look young, yes, but I went through it a long time ago, 297 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,245 and I haven't been here because I've been directing at Danny Thomas. 298 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,980 WILLIAM: With the Communist kid? 299 00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,248 -**** off. -Jesus Christ. 300 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,683 LUCILLE: You don't have to **** off, 301 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,320 but you do need to know that Danny does jokes– few people do it better. 302 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,122 I do physical comedy. 303 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:12,692 -I've seen every episode of the show. -So have 60 million other people. 304 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,828 Are none of them professional television directors? 305 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:15,829 DESI: (chuckles) She's kidding. 306 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:16,996 -I can tell. -Ah. 307 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,199 LUCILLE: I'm hazing you a little, Donald. 308 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,701 It's just my way of saying I have no confidence in you at all. 309 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,400 (laughs) All right, all right, all right. 310 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,740 We haven't gotten off to a great start this morning, I think. 311 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,942 And I have no idea what the **** you were talking about, Bill. 312 00:13:29,420 --> 00:13:31,440 Ah, Des, I'm begging you, don't ask. 313 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,245 All right, no problem. 314 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,482 I just wanted to say that this show is made by Desilu Productions, 315 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,118 whose president is speaking to you right now. 316 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:42,355 And for the next 30 minutes, I don't want to hear a word that is not in this script. 317 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,857 -It's your stage. -JESS: Thank you. 318 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,794 “Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table– 319 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,629 good china, silver, et cetera.” 320 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,232 Uh, the table is set for four but there are only three chairs. 321 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,934 -I-I should've put that in the, in the stage direction. -JESS: Okay. 322 00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:56,770 Well, technically, it's two chairs and a piano bench. 323 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,380 For a total of? 324 00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,439 Three chairs. 325 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,474 JESS: “Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table– 326 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,430 good china, silver, et cetera.” 327 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:05,945 Table's set for four but there's only three chairs. 328 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:07,113 “After a moment, 329 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,548 “the door opens and Ricky enters. 330 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,917 “Lucy doesn't hear him. 331 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:11,951 “Ricky tiptoes in back of her. 332 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:13,953 -Ricky puts his…” -Why not? 333 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:15,922 Sorry? 334 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,525 Why doesn't Lucy hear him? 335 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,859 Well, he's about to do that thing where you cover someone's eyes 336 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:20,960 and you say, “Guess who.” 337 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,228 I understand it's a setup. 338 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,329 I understand 339 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,310 why we need Lucy to not hear him. 340 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:29,169 I just don't understand why, in an apartment this size, Lucy doesn't hear– 341 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:33,606 or, for that matter, see– the front door open when she's standing 12 feet from it. 342 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,944 We'll work on that. 343 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,790 Thanks. 344 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,980 “Ricky tiptoes in back of her and reaches around 345 00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:42,816 and covers her eyes with his hands.” 346 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:43,917 RICKY: Guess who it is. 347 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,785 LUCY: Bill? Pat? 348 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,787 -Sam? -No. 349 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,622 -Ralph? -JESS: “Ricky reacts to this.” 350 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,124 No, it's me. 351 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,893 Oh, yes, of course. 352 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,328 Oh, hang on. 353 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,465 Are we supposed to believe that Ricky believes that Lucy 354 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,333 -really doesn't know it's him? -Want to do this now? 355 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,703 That Ricky believes that Lucy is not only unfamiliar with his voice– 356 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,272 which, let's not forget, has a Cuban accent– 357 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,808 but that he really believes there are at least seven other men 358 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,144 who routinely walk into their apartment? 359 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,146 DESI (chuckles): She has a pretty good point. 360 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,182 -She has four or five pretty good points. -JESS: All right. 361 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,284 W-We'll write a better joke or Ricky will know that Lucy's joking. 362 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,686 -Ah. -BOB: We can change the names. 363 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,355 -Pedro, Pablo, Jose. -What? 364 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,523 Because they're Spanish names. 365 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,325 I mean Latin names. 366 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,826 They're Cuban names. 367 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,561 (sighs) Thanks for clearing that up, professor. 368 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,530 -I'm just, you know… -JESS: Okay, “Ricky takes his hands away 369 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,798 and turns her around.” 370 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,670 -No, it's me. -Oh, yes, of course. 371 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,200 -Uh, uh… -JESS: “She snaps her fingers 372 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:38,204 -and pretends she can't remember his name.” -(fingers snapping) 373 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,240 -Very funny. -“Ricky kisses her 374 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,441 and then notices the table setup.” 375 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,742 Hey, company for dinner? 376 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,110 -Uh-huh. -Who is it? 377 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,745 JESS: “Lucy elaborately ignores him.” 378 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,314 LUCY: How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 379 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,549 RICKY: Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 380 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,180 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 381 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,253 Lucy, who is it? 382 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:54,854 Some people. 383 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,122 (audience laughter) 384 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,691 RICKY (annoyed): Lucy… 385 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,495 Whom is coming here for dinner tonight? 386 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,231 Whom? You mean besides “meem” and “youm”? 387 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,167 (laughter) 388 00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,868 RICKY: Never mind that. What are their names? 389 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,905 -Fred and Ethel Mertz. -Wait a minute. 390 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,908 I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a big fight and they were mad at each other. 391 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,760 -They are. -(audience laughter) 392 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,877 RICKY: I thought you said they weren't speaking to each other. 393 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,412 -They aren't. -(audience laughter) 394 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,781 -And that he was staying at the Y. -He is. 395 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,250 -And that she won't let him in the house. -She won't. 396 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:29,189 Well, if they are and they aren't and he is and she won't, how come? 397 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,857 Well… 398 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,693 Lucy Esmeralda McGillicuddy Ricardo. 399 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,280 Oh… 400 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,630 That's nice, but is the rhythm getting old too early? 401 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:38,898 We'll work on that. 402 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,768 'Cause we want to live up to the quality of the writing you were used to at RKO. 403 00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,607 -That was gutsy. -That was… 404 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:52,112 (chuckles) It was a joke about the writing at RKO and not… 405 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,880 Yeah? 406 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,915 Obviously not an insult aimed at Lucy. 407 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,851 ♪ ♪ 408 00:16:57,951 --> 00:17:00,954 Looking back, it may have been an insult aimed at Lucy. 409 00:17:01,210 --> 00:17:02,922 Which was very unusual. 410 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,290 Lucy and I were close. 411 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,861 -(laughs) -JESS: Okay, let's take it from… 412 00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:09,629 OLDER MADELYN: Look, she was always tough on the writing, 413 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,498 she pressed down hard on each beat, 414 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,933 but that week… 415 00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:18,238 it was like her life depended on whether a joke was a “B” or “B”-plus. 416 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,400 JESS: “She tries to make her way past him on her way to the kitchen, 417 00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,275 but he holds out his hand and blocks the way.” 418 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,610 OLDER BOB: There was a Broadway show 419 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,779 called Too Many Girls. 420 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:26,980 It was terrible. 421 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,949 One of the stars of Too Many Girls was Desi. 422 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,185 Too Many Girls. 423 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:36,790 RKO decided to make a very bad Broadway show into– 424 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:40,193 and I still can't believe it– an even worse movie. 425 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,697 They kept Desi in the cast, but the second female lead was replaced 426 00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:46,499 by the queen of the “B” movies, Lucille Ball. 427 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,335 A couple of days before shooting started, 428 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,939 Desi was on a soundstage working with a piano and a drum and Ann Miller. 429 00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:55,308 Here's what you have to understand. 430 00:17:55,408 --> 00:18:00,213 A more handsome, charming man than Desi you've never met. 431 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,850 Standing off, away from the pack of chorus girls, is Lucy, 432 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:07,354 who was unrecognizable because she was still in the middle of shooting 433 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,956 Dance, Girl, Dance, playing a burlesque girl 434 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:11,691 who'd just been beaten up by her pimp. 435 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,494 So she was… unrecognizable. 436 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,229 That's how they met. 437 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,898 DESI: ♪ She could shake the maracas ♪ 438 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,533 (piano and bongo drum playing “She Could Shake the Maracas”) 439 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,203 -♪ He could play the guitar ♪ -(women giggling) 440 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,380 ♪ But he lived in Havana ♪ 441 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,907 ♪ And she down in Rio del Mar ♪ 442 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,909 (giggling continues) 443 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:33,313 -♪ And she shook the maracas ♪ -(rhythmic shaking) 444 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,916 ♪ In a Portuguese bar ♪ 445 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,785 ♪ While he strummed in Havana ♪ 446 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:41,588 ♪ The distance between them was far ♪ 447 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,459 ♪ But by and by ♪ 448 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,697 ♪ He got a job with a band in Harlem ♪ 449 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,701 ♪ She got a job with a band in Harlem ♪ 450 00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:57,737 ♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪ 451 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,539 (rhythmic tapping) 452 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,579 ♪ He said, “I'm the attraction” ♪ 453 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,350 ♪ She said, “I am the star” ♪ 454 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,352 ♪ But they finally married ♪ 455 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:16,489 ♪ And now see how happy they are ♪ (chuckles) 456 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,726 ♪ So shake your maracas ♪ 457 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,896 ♪ And play your guitar. ♪ 458 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,731 -(cheering, laughing) -(song ends) 459 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,320 Thank you. 460 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,567 -Mr. Arnaz? -Yes. 461 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:31,538 I'm Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III, but just my mother calls me that. 462 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,600 -Desi. Desi. -I'm Angie. 463 00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:35,241 I'm in the chorus and I wanted to say I'm looking forward to working with you. 464 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,110 -I'm looking forward, too, Angie. -(laughs) 465 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,912 -Patty. -Patty. 466 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,914 -Uh, short for Patricia? -Yes. 467 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,750 -DESI: Also in the chorus? -Mm-hmm. Dancing chorus. 468 00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:46,586 -Oh. -LUCILLE: “Do you remember the first time we met? 469 00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:52,992 You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously indifferent.” 470 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:54,794 What? 471 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,797 It's a line from our movie, dumb-dumb. 472 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,733 Do we know each other? 473 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:01,434 (chuckles) 474 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,937 No. 475 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,405 WOMAN: Desi? 476 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,607 -I'm Daisy. -(guitar playing gentle lullaby) 477 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,810 DESI: ♪ A la nanita nana ♪ 478 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,248 ♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪ 479 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,684 ♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪ 480 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:21,588 ♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪ 481 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:28,361 ♪ Calla mientras la cuna se balancea ♪ 482 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:35,902 ♪ A la nanita nana, nanita ella ♪ 483 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:39,239 ♪ A la nanita nana ♪ 484 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:43,309 ♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪ 485 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,879 ♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪ 486 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,382 ♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪ 487 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,918 -♪ Mi… ♪ -(music stops) 488 00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:55,155 “Do you remember the first time we met?” 489 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,491 If we'd met, I'd remember. 490 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,393 “You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously…” 491 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,195 Wait. 492 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,631 -That was you? -”…indifferent.” 493 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,399 That was me, yeah. 494 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,735 -This studio has talented makeup artists. -“I'm Angie. 495 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,360 “I'm in the chorus. 496 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,720 I just want to say, when I drink, I take off my clothes.” 497 00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:14,874 -(laughs) -I'm so curious, I have to ask. 498 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,377 How did you know Patty was short for Patricia? 499 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,412 -My name is Desiderio Alberto Arnaz… -Ah. 500 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,381 I don't have that kind of time. 501 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,684 And you're Lucille Ball. 502 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,822 Use a line on me you've never road-tested on anyone. 503 00:21:28,922 --> 00:21:29,923 I dare you. 504 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,294 (strumming guitar) 505 00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:36,129 Would you like to learn how to rumba? 506 00:21:37,397 --> 00:21:39,833 All right. Nice. 507 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,434 And, yes, I would. 508 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,537 -Ah. -But there's absolutely no chance you haven't used that before. 509 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:46,773 (band playing “Rumba Internacional”) 510 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:48,875 -(lively chatter, laughter) -(music continues) 511 00:22:08,128 --> 00:22:09,396 Mm-hmm. 512 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,201 -(laughs) -I want you to know I'm not trying to be forward. 513 00:22:15,268 --> 00:22:17,203 I'm showing you this because it'll come in handy 514 00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,673 for your rumba number in the movie. 515 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:22,142 I don't have a rumba number in the movie. 516 00:22:22,242 --> 00:22:24,210 -No rumba? -No. 517 00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:27,881 Oh, that's a sign of a poorly written screenplay. 518 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,449 (chuckles) 519 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,751 Well, we should dance to something else. 520 00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,653 Sure. 521 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,755 (band playing slow jazz music) 522 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,163 Why did you come to Hollywood? 523 00:22:45,632 --> 00:22:47,567 I got kicked out of New York. 524 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:50,503 -Seriously. -I mean it. 525 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:53,773 I got kicked out of acting school for not being good enough. 526 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,477 -Get out of here. -I will not. 527 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:04,951 I got some modeling work, I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl 528 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:08,688 but hired as a Goldwyn Girl, and that's what took me out here. 529 00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,190 Hmm. 530 00:23:10,290 --> 00:23:11,958 Why did you come to Hollywood? 531 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:14,227 The Bolsheviks burned my house down. 532 00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:19,666 -So a different reason. -Mm, yeah. 533 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,236 -♪ Lucille ♪ -(playing gentle music) 534 00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:28,875 ♪ There's not much that rhymes with “Lucille” ♪ 535 00:23:28,942 --> 00:23:30,477 ♪ Mm… ♪ 536 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,460 ♪ Bastille ♪ 537 00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:37,117 ♪ But who'd write a song about that? ♪ 538 00:23:38,118 --> 00:23:40,120 (footsteps approaching) 539 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,188 (plays gentle guitar riff) 540 00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:46,459 I borrowed part of your tuxedo. 541 00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:55,535 (Desi clears throat) 542 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:58,905 It comes with pants, but, uh, I'm wearing them. 543 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:00,840 Not for long, pal. 544 00:24:03,977 --> 00:24:05,578 So… 545 00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,470 Yes? 546 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,581 Can I call you Lucy? 547 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:11,840 I think we should keep this professional, don't you? 548 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,120 -I was kidding. -So was I. 549 00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:16,690 Mm. Nice dry delivery. 550 00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:20,226 Uh, what's your, mm… 551 00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:21,327 ambition? 552 00:24:21,394 --> 00:24:23,363 My ambition? For tonight? 553 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:24,998 I wasn't making myself clear? 554 00:24:25,650 --> 00:24:27,233 No, I don't mean ambition. 555 00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,702 Ay, what do I mean? 556 00:24:28,768 --> 00:24:30,537 Uh… 557 00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:32,405 -Goals? -No. 558 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,407 Mm… future. 559 00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:36,643 -Dreams. -What are my future dreams? 560 00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:38,445 I should've stuck with ambition. 561 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,746 Are you interviewing me? 562 00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:41,470 Yes. 563 00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:42,749 Okay. 564 00:24:42,816 --> 00:24:44,184 I live in a small house. 565 00:24:44,284 --> 00:24:45,785 And your ambition is to live in a bigger house. 566 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:47,454 My ambition is to live in a home. 567 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,522 Like for old folks? 568 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:52,625 Not a home, not an institution. 569 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,461 -A home. -Ah. 570 00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,796 With a family and dinnertime. 571 00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,366 Can I ask an impertinent question? 572 00:24:59,432 --> 00:25:01,901 You gonna ask me why I'm not married? 573 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,337 No, I was going to ask you why you're not a movie star. 574 00:25:04,404 --> 00:25:08,742 Why are you playing the second female lead in Too Many Girls? 575 00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:10,543 I'm a contract player at RKO. 576 00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:12,479 I play the roles I'm told to play. 577 00:25:12,579 --> 00:25:14,414 My career's gone as far as it's gonna go. 578 00:25:14,481 --> 00:25:16,649 It's hit cruising altitude. 579 00:25:16,750 --> 00:25:18,318 I'm at peace with that. 580 00:25:18,418 --> 00:25:21,870 So I'd like to be at peace. 581 00:25:22,255 --> 00:25:23,423 I want a home. 582 00:25:23,490 --> 00:25:27,327 You have a lot more talent than the roles you play have allowed you to exhibit. 583 00:25:27,394 --> 00:25:29,162 Now, how would you know I have talent? 584 00:25:29,229 --> 00:25:31,131 Because I have talent. 585 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:34,334 You could be a serious actor. You should be a star by now. 586 00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:37,570 -But… -But what? 587 00:25:37,671 --> 00:25:40,173 There is also something about your physicality. You are, you are… 588 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,374 Half naked? 589 00:25:41,441 --> 00:25:43,910 Uh, sure. 590 00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:46,546 -But… -But? 591 00:25:46,613 --> 00:25:50,283 You, uh… There isn't an English word. 592 00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:54,200 Tú estás… dotada cineticamente. 593 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,188 What does that mean? 594 00:25:55,288 --> 00:25:59,590 It means you're kinetically gifted. 595 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,620 No one's noticed that? 596 00:26:02,162 --> 00:26:04,364 ♪ ♪ 597 00:26:15,608 --> 00:26:17,344 Hi. Sorry. 598 00:26:17,444 --> 00:26:19,512 I need to use the phone to call my fiancé. 599 00:26:19,612 --> 00:26:20,814 Sure. 600 00:26:22,182 --> 00:26:23,550 Wait, what? 601 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:25,318 It'll just take a second. 602 00:26:25,385 --> 00:26:27,921 Your fiancé? 603 00:26:28,210 --> 00:26:29,522 Outside line please. 604 00:26:29,589 --> 00:26:32,225 -I mean, not that I haven't… -(dialing) 605 00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:35,428 It's just that I got the sense that we… 606 00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:36,763 -One sec. -Yeah. 607 00:26:36,863 --> 00:26:37,964 (dialing) 608 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,266 Last night, I felt it was… 609 00:26:40,367 --> 00:26:42,669 It's me. Hey. 610 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,304 You don't love me, and I don't love you, 611 00:26:44,404 --> 00:26:45,805 and you cheat on me every chance you can get, 612 00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:48,908 and I pretend I'm stupid, so I'm moving out. 613 00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:52,145 I'll send someone to pick up my clothes, okay? 614 00:26:52,212 --> 00:26:55,480 Love you. But, you know, not really. 615 00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:59,519 I interrupted you. What were you saying? 616 00:26:59,586 --> 00:27:01,554 (laughs) 617 00:27:01,654 --> 00:27:03,656 JESS: And we fade to black. End of show. 618 00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:05,925 Thank you. 619 00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:07,293 Notes upstairs. 620 00:27:07,394 --> 00:27:10,463 -ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Back onstage in an hour. -(soundstage bell rings) 621 00:27:10,563 --> 00:27:11,598 -All right. -All right. 622 00:27:11,698 --> 00:27:12,799 -We'll see ya. -Yeah. 623 00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:14,601 -Okay, honey. See you in a bit. -Mm-hmm. 624 00:27:14,701 --> 00:27:16,569 (indistinct chatter) 625 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,509 -(door closes) -(chatter quiets) 626 00:27:31,510 --> 00:27:33,530 (footsteps receding) 627 00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:35,555 (Desi exhales heavily) 628 00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:39,926 It's madness. 629 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:41,227 Yeah? 630 00:27:41,294 --> 00:27:43,763 I thought you'd be the first one to refuse to work with her. 631 00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:45,265 You mean that? 632 00:27:45,365 --> 00:27:47,400 Mm. 633 00:27:47,467 --> 00:27:49,350 You're not fond of Communists. 634 00:27:51,471 --> 00:27:53,506 I'm less fond of the committee. 635 00:27:53,606 --> 00:27:55,800 Ah. 636 00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,679 (grunts, sighs) 637 00:27:59,779 --> 00:28:01,781 ♪ ♪ 638 00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:04,851 Des. 639 00:28:04,951 --> 00:28:07,870 Hmm? 640 00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,656 When the soldiers came 641 00:28:09,723 --> 00:28:11,358 for your family… 642 00:28:13,493 --> 00:28:14,928 …how scary was it? 643 00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:23,470 You're giving me that look that says, “I don't get scared of nothing.” 644 00:28:25,238 --> 00:28:27,240 Uh… (sighs) 645 00:28:27,307 --> 00:28:29,609 They killed all the animals. 646 00:28:29,676 --> 00:28:31,111 Uh, not-not for food. 647 00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:34,140 They just killed all the animals. 648 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:36,549 I still don't know why they did that. 649 00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:37,784 Uh… 650 00:28:42,756 --> 00:28:45,425 It's six to five and pick 'em 651 00:28:45,525 --> 00:28:48,795 we've already done the last episode of this show. 652 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,431 This show, everyone who works here, 653 00:28:51,531 --> 00:28:54,601 Desilu, Lucy's whole career– mine, too– 654 00:28:54,701 --> 00:28:57,771 it may have ended last night and we just don't know it yet. 655 00:29:00,674 --> 00:29:02,575 Are you out of your mind? 656 00:29:02,642 --> 00:29:04,411 I get plenty scared. 657 00:29:08,448 --> 00:29:10,450 (footsteps receding) 658 00:29:14,521 --> 00:29:16,156 ****ing madness. 659 00:29:24,964 --> 00:29:26,966 ♪ ♪ 660 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,177 Lucy? 661 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:38,878 Come on in. 662 00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:43,116 Madelyn was way out of line, and I'll talk to Jess. 663 00:29:43,183 --> 00:29:45,552 -No, I don't care about that. -I care about it. 664 00:29:45,652 --> 00:29:48,210 You told them I checked the wrong box. 665 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:49,322 Who? 666 00:29:49,389 --> 00:29:51,858 Before the table read. You told them I checked the wrong box. 667 00:29:51,925 --> 00:29:54,527 Ah. (sighs) 668 00:29:54,594 --> 00:29:58,965 Uh, uh, well, it takes fewer words to say that than the truth. 669 00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:00,633 Doesn't make me look like a simpleton 670 00:30:00,734 --> 00:30:03,136 who's ill-equipped to participate in democracy? 671 00:30:03,236 --> 00:30:05,739 It was simpler, and it's nobody's goddamn business. 672 00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:07,774 Well, no. 673 00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:09,743 Pretty obviously it's everybody's goddamn business. 674 00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:12,212 (sighs): Ay. 675 00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:14,647 (sighs) 676 00:30:14,714 --> 00:30:16,883 You-you… you don't have to keep checking the papers. 677 00:30:16,983 --> 00:30:20,153 I've got people who'll let me know the moment an editor thinks about it. 678 00:30:20,220 --> 00:30:22,550 There's something wrong with the story, they know it, 679 00:30:22,155 --> 00:30:24,570 and that's why no one's reporting on Winchell. 680 00:30:24,157 --> 00:30:27,527 No. The Confidential story. 681 00:30:27,594 --> 00:30:29,295 That's what's getting picked up. 682 00:30:29,396 --> 00:30:31,564 ♪ ♪ 683 00:30:31,631 --> 00:30:33,660 (Desi sighs) 684 00:30:35,769 --> 00:30:38,972 (groans, mutters) 685 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:49,816 I like this a lot, Tommy. 686 00:30:49,883 --> 00:30:52,520 -That's a great color for you. -Oh, I really like this. 687 00:30:52,152 --> 00:30:53,887 And I can cinch the back a little. 688 00:30:53,987 --> 00:30:56,890 -I can lower the neckline. -Oh, not on CBS you can't. 689 00:30:56,189 --> 00:30:57,724 (both laugh) 690 00:30:57,824 --> 00:30:59,359 But still, now we're talking. 691 00:30:59,426 --> 00:31:00,760 Now we're cooking with gas. 692 00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:03,863 -Should I bring out some shoes? -Oh, yes, please. 693 00:31:05,131 --> 00:31:07,330 (wolf whistle) 694 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:08,201 Yeah? 695 00:31:08,268 --> 00:31:09,669 That's a nice dress. 696 00:31:09,769 --> 00:31:11,905 I thought so, too. 697 00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:14,307 You borrowing it from wardrobe for a cocktail party? 698 00:31:14,407 --> 00:31:15,775 (sighs) Dinner party. 699 00:31:15,842 --> 00:31:16,843 Where? 700 00:31:16,943 --> 00:31:19,846 The apartment of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo. 701 00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:20,947 This is for the show? 702 00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:23,216 -Lucy's invited Ethel… -Oh, Viv. 703 00:31:23,316 --> 00:31:24,384 I know, but listen. 704 00:31:24,484 --> 00:31:26,860 I'm thinking Lucy's invited her to dinner. 705 00:31:26,186 --> 00:31:29,589 She thinks she's being fixed up with an eligible guy. 706 00:31:29,689 --> 00:31:31,240 She'd want to look nice. 707 00:31:33,193 --> 00:31:34,894 It's something new for the character. 708 00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:37,464 LUCILLE: But the character's still Ethel Mertz, right? 709 00:31:37,564 --> 00:31:38,765 Yeah. 710 00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:43,570 Hey, don't. 711 00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:46,272 “Does Desi Love Lucy Loosely?” 712 00:31:46,339 --> 00:31:48,740 They took time on that. 713 00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:51,110 “If neighbors hear screams of rage followed by the sound of…” 714 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:53,130 -Isn't there enough going on with… -”…breaking crockery coming from 715 00:31:53,113 --> 00:31:55,215 -the Arnaz house this month…” -I'd be more concerned about… 716 00:31:55,315 --> 00:31:57,500 “…they'll know what is happening without having to investigate. 717 00:31:57,150 --> 00:31:58,718 “The red-haired missus has just finished reading 718 00:31:58,818 --> 00:32:00,153 -Confidential's report on…” -In your life, have you ever 719 00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:01,988 taken this stuff seriously? 720 00:32:02,550 --> 00:32:04,190 I take my marriage seriously. 721 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:05,992 And Desi said? 722 00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:09,429 “Lucy, I ain't been with no girls since the moment I saw you.” 723 00:32:09,529 --> 00:32:11,398 -Then believe him. -I do believe him. 724 00:32:11,464 --> 00:32:12,799 It's an old picture. We were there together. 725 00:32:12,899 --> 00:32:14,634 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday. 726 00:32:14,734 --> 00:32:16,736 You'd be more concerned about what? 727 00:32:16,803 --> 00:32:19,305 -What? -You said you'd “be more concerned about,” 728 00:32:19,406 --> 00:32:20,440 and I cut you off. 729 00:32:20,507 --> 00:32:21,574 The Winchell broadcast? 730 00:32:21,641 --> 00:32:23,243 Yeah. 731 00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:25,278 I don't get to choose just one. 732 00:32:25,345 --> 00:32:27,714 I'm concerned with both, the first thing, second thing. 733 00:32:27,814 --> 00:32:30,116 Understood. What about the third? 734 00:32:30,183 --> 00:32:31,551 What'd they say? 735 00:32:31,651 --> 00:32:34,988 We didn't think yesterday was the best day to tell them about the third thing. 736 00:32:35,550 --> 00:32:36,856 -Right. -We're doing it now. 737 00:32:36,923 --> 00:32:41,261 First Jess, then the network, then Philip Morris. 738 00:32:42,362 --> 00:32:44,230 Could be worse. 739 00:32:44,297 --> 00:32:45,465 How? 740 00:32:45,565 --> 00:32:47,367 You could be playing Ethel. 741 00:32:47,434 --> 00:32:48,935 Got it. 742 00:32:49,936 --> 00:32:51,938 ♪ ♪ 743 00:32:56,943 --> 00:32:58,945 (phone ringing in distance) 744 00:33:02,382 --> 00:33:04,551 Is Lucy on the phone too long at the top? 745 00:33:04,651 --> 00:33:08,540 We only hear one side of the call. Are we staying too long at the fair? 746 00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:12,225 You don't need to write down everything we say in here. 747 00:33:15,962 --> 00:33:17,530 We'll know when it's on its feet. 748 00:33:17,597 --> 00:33:18,932 -(knocking) -DESI: Good morning. 749 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,900 Morning, guys. 750 00:33:20,967 --> 00:33:22,680 Hey. 751 00:33:22,135 --> 00:33:24,304 Mary Pat, would you mind giving us the room for a moment please? 752 00:33:24,404 --> 00:33:27,700 -Of course, Mr. Arnaz. -Thank you. 753 00:33:32,712 --> 00:33:35,215 -“Of course, Mr. Arnaz.” -She's nice. 754 00:33:35,315 --> 00:33:36,449 You're in enough trouble. 755 00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:37,717 LUCILLE: You're not in trouble. 756 00:33:37,817 --> 00:33:39,285 We need to talk. 757 00:33:39,352 --> 00:33:41,388 -No, don't tell me… -No, no, no, no. No, we're… 758 00:33:41,488 --> 00:33:42,489 No, no, we're still okay. 759 00:33:42,555 --> 00:33:43,723 -No one's picked up the story. -JESS: All right. 760 00:33:43,823 --> 00:33:45,580 (chuckles): Looking at Lucy's face, I thought for sure… 761 00:33:45,158 --> 00:33:46,493 I'm pregnant. 762 00:33:47,894 --> 00:33:48,895 (chuckles softly) 763 00:33:50,930 --> 00:33:52,766 That's not at all what I was gonna say. 764 00:33:52,866 --> 00:33:54,734 That's what we came to talk about. 765 00:33:54,801 --> 00:33:57,671 We were gonna have this conversation yesterday, but other things were… 766 00:33:57,771 --> 00:34:00,273 -Yeah, yeah, sure. -Well, this is a one-two punch. 767 00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:01,808 It's not a punch. I'm having a baby. 768 00:34:03,343 --> 00:34:05,311 What do we do now? 769 00:34:09,115 --> 00:34:11,317 I know it seems like no one said congratulations, 770 00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:13,190 -but that cannot be, as these are three of… -JESS: No, no, no, no. 771 00:34:13,860 --> 00:34:14,821 -…our closest friends and colleagues. -You're right. You're right. Sorry. 772 00:34:14,888 --> 00:34:16,189 -Oh, it's wonderful news. -Yeah, hey, congratulations. 773 00:34:16,256 --> 00:34:17,390 -Yes! Congratulations. -Yeah, that's great. 774 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:18,725 -Thank you. -Another baby. 775 00:34:18,825 --> 00:34:20,193 -Gracias. -Yeah, mazel tov. 776 00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:21,795 -Gracias. Gracias. -Really, really. -Congratulations, Des. 777 00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:23,930 -Very happy. Very happy. -Yeah. 778 00:34:24,300 --> 00:34:25,899 -Very exciting. Yeah. -So, uh… 779 00:34:25,965 --> 00:34:27,434 -(clears throat) -LUCILLE: Yeah. 780 00:34:27,534 --> 00:34:29,536 With Lucie, I was the size of a phone booth, so… 781 00:34:29,602 --> 00:34:31,710 JESS (chuckles): Yeah. 782 00:34:31,137 --> 00:34:33,139 You've got about seven weeks before you have to start 783 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,442 hiding me behind boxes and chairs, 784 00:34:35,508 --> 00:34:39,379 and then another seven weeks after that before I won't fit in the frame. 785 00:34:39,479 --> 00:34:40,814 -What do you want to do? -Do? 786 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,515 Whatever there was to do, we've done it. 787 00:34:42,615 --> 00:34:45,352 -Where does that leave us? -Without a choice. 788 00:34:45,452 --> 00:34:47,854 Lucy Ricardo is gonna have a baby on television. 789 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:51,157 -No, no, Des. -How many scripts in the bank? 790 00:34:51,224 --> 00:34:52,392 We're-we're five ahead of production. 791 00:34:52,492 --> 00:34:53,593 We're shooting four and we're writing nine. 792 00:34:53,693 --> 00:34:55,562 Four. No harm done. 793 00:34:55,628 --> 00:34:58,264 But whatever script you're working on now, 794 00:34:58,365 --> 00:35:00,633 -episode nine, scratch it. -(chuckles): Okay. 795 00:35:00,734 --> 00:35:03,970 Episode– no, episode nine is now “Lucy Tells Ricky She's Pregnant,” 796 00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:05,939 and we work from there. What's that one? 797 00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:09,109 -JESS: Which one? -LUCILLE: “Lucy Goes to Italy.” 798 00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:10,677 We want to send the four of you to Italy. 799 00:35:10,777 --> 00:35:12,846 -Why? -MADELYN: We think it'd be nice to get off our set. 800 00:35:12,946 --> 00:35:15,181 No, why do the Ricardos and Mertzes go to Italy? 801 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:17,617 -JESS: A vacation. -DESI: They don't vacation in Europe. 802 00:35:17,684 --> 00:35:19,853 They go to the Grand Canyon. 803 00:35:19,919 --> 00:35:21,755 -They go to Niagara Falls. -Work. 804 00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:23,990 -Ricky's got a gig at a club in Rome. -And what does Lucy do? 805 00:35:24,570 --> 00:35:26,259 She stomps grapes. 806 00:35:26,359 --> 00:35:28,561 Lucy and Ethel go to an Italian vineyard. 807 00:35:28,628 --> 00:35:30,363 -DESI: Why? -We don't know yet. 808 00:35:30,430 --> 00:35:32,132 And she stomps grapes. 809 00:35:32,232 --> 00:35:34,968 DESI: This vineyard is located in the 19th century? 810 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,836 -JESS: They don't stomp grapes anymore? -(chuckles): No. 811 00:35:36,936 --> 00:35:39,506 MADELYN: Okay, so we find the one vineyard where they still stomp grapes. 812 00:35:39,606 --> 00:35:41,307 -(knocking) -LUCY: Come in. 813 00:35:41,408 --> 00:35:44,110 -Sì, signora. You sent for me? -Yes. 814 00:35:44,177 --> 00:35:46,179 Are there any grape vineyards around here? 815 00:35:46,279 --> 00:35:47,947 I'd like to know how they make the wine, 816 00:35:48,140 --> 00:35:51,170 how they pick the grapes, how they press the juice out with their feet. 817 00:35:51,117 --> 00:35:52,786 BELLMAN: There is one little town called Turo 818 00:35:52,852 --> 00:35:55,255 -where they still make the wine that way. -MADELYN: Easy. 819 00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:57,357 DESI: Why does she want to go to a vineyard? 820 00:35:57,424 --> 00:35:59,225 We don't know yet. 821 00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:01,227 She has an audition for an Italian movie. 822 00:36:01,294 --> 00:36:02,962 MADELYN: What does that have to do with stomping grapes? 823 00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:04,230 BOB: The part. 824 00:36:04,297 --> 00:36:06,433 VITTORIO: She happens to be just the type I need. 825 00:36:06,533 --> 00:36:09,102 The role of a beautiful Italian redhead 826 00:36:09,169 --> 00:36:11,671 who, uh– como si dice– uh, steps on grapes. 827 00:36:11,771 --> 00:36:14,240 (audience laughter) 828 00:36:14,307 --> 00:36:16,109 JESS: We'll get there. The point is 829 00:36:16,176 --> 00:36:18,144 (chuckles): Lucy in a vat of grapes for five minutes. 830 00:36:18,211 --> 00:36:19,879 I can see it. 831 00:36:20,980 --> 00:36:22,215 (speaks Italian) 832 00:36:23,316 --> 00:36:24,884 (audience laughter) 833 00:36:30,490 --> 00:36:32,258 (audience laughter) 834 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,261 (footsteps squishing) 835 00:36:35,362 --> 00:36:37,630 (audience laughter continues) 836 00:36:42,602 --> 00:36:45,238 What can happen in the vat of grapes? What can she do? 837 00:36:46,306 --> 00:36:48,408 -(audience whispering) -(man in audience clears throat) 838 00:36:50,810 --> 00:36:52,445 JESS: It doesn't matter right now. 839 00:36:52,512 --> 00:36:55,615 We need to get back to– Des, the network isn't gonna allow it 840 00:36:55,682 --> 00:36:57,384 and neither will Philip Morris. Lucy… 841 00:36:57,484 --> 00:36:59,119 Just hang on. 842 00:36:59,185 --> 00:37:01,187 (audience whispering) 843 00:37:04,424 --> 00:37:06,590 -She loses an earring. -BOB: Yes. 844 00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:07,227 -MADELYN: There it is. -What are you talking about? 845 00:37:07,293 --> 00:37:08,361 In the grapes. 846 00:37:08,428 --> 00:37:09,896 (audience laughter) 847 00:37:14,134 --> 00:37:16,136 (audience laughter continues) 848 00:37:21,341 --> 00:37:23,760 (laughter grows) 849 00:37:28,815 --> 00:37:30,483 Push it to next year. 850 00:37:30,550 --> 00:37:32,352 They're not going to Italy while she's pregnant. 851 00:37:32,419 --> 00:37:34,721 I'll bet you my next paycheck against your next paycheck 852 00:37:34,821 --> 00:37:36,990 that CBS won't even allow us to use the word “pregnant.” 853 00:37:37,570 --> 00:37:40,260 -“Lucy Tells the Truth.” -BOB: That one's Madelyn's idea. 854 00:37:40,930 --> 00:37:42,629 -She got it just seconds after I pitched it. -Folks… 855 00:37:42,729 --> 00:37:45,432 MADELYN: Ricky bets Lucy that she can't go two days without lying, 856 00:37:45,532 --> 00:37:47,267 and we put her in situations where it's hard not to lie. 857 00:37:47,367 --> 00:37:49,269 LUCY: Okay, it's started. 858 00:37:49,336 --> 00:37:51,400 For the next 48 hours. 859 00:37:51,104 --> 00:37:52,472 -Okay. -All right. 860 00:37:52,572 --> 00:37:55,108 ETHEL: I can hardly wait to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy. 861 00:37:55,175 --> 00:37:56,276 LUCY: Why? 862 00:37:56,343 --> 00:37:57,777 We're playing bridge at Carolyn's, remember? 863 00:37:57,844 --> 00:38:00,380 Oh, no, no, no. 864 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,115 I can't spend the afternoon 865 00:38:02,182 --> 00:38:03,850 with three women and have to tell the truth. 866 00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:07,200 -(audience laughter) -I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick. 867 00:38:08,722 --> 00:38:10,690 MADELYN: After 47 hours, 868 00:38:10,757 --> 00:38:13,226 -she's winning, but in the final hour… -BOB: Here it is. 869 00:38:13,326 --> 00:38:15,729 MADELYN: …Ricky gets a visit from the IRS, and the guy wants to ask about 870 00:38:15,795 --> 00:38:18,698 some questionable things that Ricky's claiming on his deductions. 871 00:38:18,765 --> 00:38:21,434 Lucy's sitting in the living room, too, and of course when she's asked 872 00:38:21,534 --> 00:38:24,304 by the IRS agent to corroborate, she can't tell a lie, so… 873 00:38:24,404 --> 00:38:25,605 That's a funny premise. 874 00:38:25,672 --> 00:38:27,700 Yes, it is. 875 00:38:27,107 --> 00:38:28,742 But lose the IRS scene. 876 00:38:28,808 --> 00:38:30,110 -Could be a good scene. -He's correct. 877 00:38:30,176 --> 00:38:31,344 Once I write it, it could be good. 878 00:38:31,444 --> 00:38:33,113 Ah, Ricky Ricardo loves America. 879 00:38:33,179 --> 00:38:34,481 He loves being an American. 880 00:38:34,547 --> 00:38:36,349 He's grateful to this country. 881 00:38:36,449 --> 00:38:37,684 He'd never cheat on his taxes. 882 00:38:37,784 --> 00:38:40,387 -It's very relatable. Everybody does. -I don't! Neither does Ricky. 883 00:38:40,487 --> 00:38:43,256 Especially when his wife is accused of being un-American. 884 00:38:43,356 --> 00:38:46,993 Look for something else, and start working on the first pregnancy show. 885 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:48,395 -Listen to me. -What? 886 00:38:48,461 --> 00:38:50,630 They're not gonna let us do it. 887 00:38:50,130 --> 00:38:52,866 -Let that be my problem. -Oh, I wish I could, Des, 888 00:38:52,932 --> 00:38:54,734 but it's very much my problem, okay? 889 00:38:54,801 --> 00:38:58,400 So instead of talking about goddamn grapes, why don't… 890 00:38:59,105 --> 00:39:00,840 Look, what you got to understand is this. 891 00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:02,509 -We don't know… -Jess, they're free to take us off the air 892 00:39:02,609 --> 00:39:05,645 for the rest of the year while continuing to pay our contracts 893 00:39:05,712 --> 00:39:08,348 and answering questions about why motherhood is too salacious 894 00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:12,318 to put on CBS, but something tells me they're not gonna go that route. 895 00:39:12,385 --> 00:39:16,220 Instead, I think Broadcast Standards and Practices will give you 896 00:39:16,890 --> 00:39:18,925 a list of insane restrictions, which might even include 897 00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:21,610 you winning your bet with Desi, and which I have no doubt 898 00:39:21,161 --> 00:39:24,631 the three of you will navigate beautifully. 899 00:39:24,731 --> 00:39:25,865 You told me to be nice. 900 00:39:25,932 --> 00:39:27,801 Good? 901 00:39:27,901 --> 00:39:29,402 Yeah. 902 00:39:29,469 --> 00:39:31,471 (phone ringing in distance) 903 00:39:35,241 --> 00:39:38,345 I don't care what your first thoughts out of the gate were, 904 00:39:38,445 --> 00:39:41,481 but your first words out of the gate were no good. 905 00:39:41,548 --> 00:39:43,550 And what was with you at the table read? 906 00:39:44,651 --> 00:39:47,870 I'm sorry. She was jumping on every stage direction. 907 00:39:47,187 --> 00:39:48,221 It's her process. 908 00:39:48,321 --> 00:39:50,757 -But that process usually happens in private. -BOB: Yes. 909 00:39:50,857 --> 00:39:53,590 And following your advice, maybe every once in a while, 910 00:39:53,159 --> 00:39:56,196 the first words out of her mouth could be “good script.” 911 00:39:57,263 --> 00:40:00,300 Well, is this the right week for this shit? 912 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,769 -Hey. -We do seem to be having some success, no? 913 00:40:02,836 --> 00:40:05,472 We're all really tired from working on this week's script. 914 00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:07,574 Oh, are you sleepy? You need a nap? 915 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,442 -Can I talk to you for a second, boss? -Sure. 916 00:40:16,483 --> 00:40:18,510 I'm the executive producer of this show. 917 00:40:18,151 --> 00:40:20,860 You can't manhandle me like that in front of other people. 918 00:40:20,186 --> 00:40:21,721 You just can't do it. My show. 919 00:40:21,821 --> 00:40:23,189 And Madelyn was a hundred percent right. 920 00:40:23,256 --> 00:40:25,191 -Ricky pays his taxes. -I get it. 921 00:40:25,258 --> 00:40:27,293 And we're having the baby on the show. 922 00:40:27,394 --> 00:40:29,396 There's no chance they say yes. 923 00:40:30,463 --> 00:40:33,133 There's no chance they say yes to you. 924 00:40:37,737 --> 00:40:39,739 Did you get all that? 925 00:40:39,806 --> 00:40:40,740 Yes. 926 00:40:40,807 --> 00:40:42,409 That was a joke. 927 00:40:43,410 --> 00:40:45,679 DONALD: Back to right before Vivian's entrance. 928 00:40:45,779 --> 00:40:47,447 “When do we eat?” 929 00:40:47,514 --> 00:40:49,616 Settle. And action. 930 00:40:49,683 --> 00:40:52,152 Uh, when do we eat? 931 00:40:52,218 --> 00:40:54,354 I've been living on peanut butter sandwiches. 932 00:40:54,421 --> 00:40:56,423 DONALD: Bill, that line's got to take you over to the table. 933 00:40:56,523 --> 00:40:58,910 -Hmm? -You need to cross to the table on that. 934 00:40:58,191 --> 00:40:59,426 Why? 935 00:40:59,526 --> 00:41:00,927 -Because we need to… -LUCILLE: So you can see the table, 936 00:41:01,270 --> 00:41:03,930 notice that a fourth place is set and say your next line. 937 00:41:06,990 --> 00:41:08,680 Uh, someone else coming? 938 00:41:08,134 --> 00:41:12,505 Well, Fred, I took the liberty of asking a young lady to be your dinner companion. 939 00:41:12,605 --> 00:41:14,774 -A young lady? -A cute young chick. 940 00:41:14,841 --> 00:41:17,310 -Oh, boy, bring her on. -Uh-uh. 941 00:41:17,410 --> 00:41:18,878 -Hang on. -What? 942 00:41:18,978 --> 00:41:21,181 LUCILLE: When I say, “I took the liberty of asking 943 00:41:21,281 --> 00:41:23,116 -a young lady to be your dinner companion…” -Mm-hmm. 944 00:41:23,183 --> 00:41:26,653 …Ricky should take a sip from a glass of water on the table to keep from laughing. 945 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,355 -And then when I say, “A cute young chick…” -Uh-huh. 946 00:41:28,421 --> 00:41:29,823 …he should choke on his water a little. 947 00:41:29,889 --> 00:41:31,658 -I like that. -I like it, too. 948 00:41:31,725 --> 00:41:35,695 The very idea that Ethel's a cute young chick should make Desi choke. 949 00:41:37,530 --> 00:41:38,965 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: That's 15. 950 00:41:39,650 --> 00:41:41,201 -Okay. -That's 15 minutes! 951 00:41:41,267 --> 00:41:42,669 (indistinct chatter) 952 00:41:42,769 --> 00:41:43,970 I'll be funny by Friday. 953 00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,740 And when can we expect you to be funny? 954 00:42:00,987 --> 00:42:03,690 -(door closes) -“Exactly what makes a husband leave home 955 00:42:03,757 --> 00:42:07,227 -is something that has been baffling wives since Adam and Eve.” -Enough. 956 00:42:07,293 --> 00:42:10,764 “For an outstanding example, let's take one of the nation's most famous husbands.” 957 00:42:10,864 --> 00:42:13,366 -You've memorized it? -I've memorized worse writing than this. 958 00:42:13,433 --> 00:42:15,969 -Yes, it's a tabloid. -“With a curvy, red-haired tidbit 959 00:42:16,690 --> 00:42:20,607 like Lucy waiting for him at home, would Desi be foolish enough…” 960 00:42:20,674 --> 00:42:23,343 -Stop it. -”…to prowl Hollywood like a bachelor wolf? 961 00:42:23,443 --> 00:42:25,445 -If so, why?” -It's made up. 962 00:42:26,513 --> 00:42:28,648 -20 million readers want to know. -Lucy… 963 00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:30,884 -20 million and one. -How many times 964 00:42:30,984 --> 00:42:33,987 I got to 'splain where I was and what I was doing? 965 00:42:34,540 --> 00:42:36,890 How many times you got to 'splain? 966 00:42:36,189 --> 00:42:38,558 (chuckles) I can't get enough of that joke. 967 00:42:39,759 --> 00:42:41,394 They document an entire night. 968 00:42:41,461 --> 00:42:43,363 Someone in your gang's a rat. 969 00:42:43,430 --> 00:42:44,431 My gang. 970 00:42:44,531 --> 00:42:46,132 (scoffs) 971 00:42:46,232 --> 00:42:49,769 The night they're talking about, I was with Red Skelton and Xavier Cugat. 972 00:42:49,836 --> 00:42:52,972 -Which one of them you think squealed? -They made it up from nothing? 973 00:42:53,730 --> 00:42:55,241 I heard on Winchell the other night that you were a Communist. 974 00:42:55,308 --> 00:42:57,344 That was true, you idiot! 975 00:42:57,444 --> 00:42:59,346 Yeah. That was a bad example. 976 00:42:59,446 --> 00:43:00,947 And I didn't check the wrong box. 977 00:43:02,282 --> 00:43:04,170 Okay, I'm sorry about that. 978 00:43:05,485 --> 00:43:07,687 I believe you. 979 00:43:07,754 --> 00:43:09,856 -I'm just messing around. -Good. 980 00:43:11,191 --> 00:43:14,260 No. That gets you out of the woods, but it puts you into other woods. 981 00:43:14,361 --> 00:43:15,528 What are the other woods? 982 00:43:15,595 --> 00:43:17,630 You don't come home anymore. Did you know that? 983 00:43:17,731 --> 00:43:20,660 -You change subjects faster than… -Keep up. 984 00:43:20,133 --> 00:43:21,434 It's not hard. 985 00:43:21,534 --> 00:43:24,671 I asked, “Did you know you don't come home anymore?” 986 00:43:24,771 --> 00:43:26,106 Of course I come home. 987 00:43:26,172 --> 00:43:29,900 Sometimes I go to the boat and play cards. 988 00:43:29,109 --> 00:43:32,145 We drink, it goes late, it's easier to sleep on the boat. 989 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,648 That used to be once a week, then twice. 990 00:43:35,715 --> 00:43:38,151 Now it's four or five times. 991 00:43:40,253 --> 00:43:42,389 I go home after work, you go to the boat. 992 00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,493 You once asked me what my ambition was. 993 00:43:46,559 --> 00:43:47,560 You remember? 994 00:43:47,660 --> 00:43:49,929 Mm-hmm. 995 00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,320 And you liked my answer. 996 00:43:54,267 --> 00:43:56,736 She used the word “home” a lot. 997 00:43:56,803 --> 00:44:00,273 She talked about having a home. 998 00:44:00,340 --> 00:44:04,310 Lucy owned three houses, but sometimes, when she fell into a funk, 999 00:44:04,411 --> 00:44:08,114 she'd say… she didn't have a home. 1000 00:44:08,181 --> 00:44:10,283 They eloped. 1001 00:44:10,350 --> 00:44:11,885 They bought a ranch in Chatsworth. 1002 00:44:11,985 --> 00:44:16,890 They were deeply in love and deliriously happy. 1003 00:44:16,189 --> 00:44:19,893 What you got to understand is they weren't very happy. 1004 00:44:19,993 --> 00:44:21,728 They never saw each other. 1005 00:44:21,795 --> 00:44:25,198 Desi and his orchestra were booked at Ciro's. 1006 00:44:25,265 --> 00:44:28,134 Lucy was under contract at RKO. 1007 00:44:28,234 --> 00:44:32,739 Desi would be done with work around 4:00 a.m. 1008 00:44:32,806 --> 00:44:34,908 Lucy had to be in hair and makeup at 5:00 a.m. 1009 00:44:34,974 --> 00:44:37,110 They'd meet at the top of Mulholland. 1010 00:44:38,178 --> 00:44:40,980 (band playing “Babalú”) 1011 00:44:42,115 --> 00:44:44,184 ♪ Babalú ♪ 1012 00:44:45,218 --> 00:44:47,354 -♪ Babalú ♪ -(audience shouting excitedly) 1013 00:44:48,655 --> 00:44:49,856 ♪ Babalú ♪ 1014 00:44:49,923 --> 00:44:51,491 ♪ Ayé ♪ 1015 00:44:51,558 --> 00:44:54,260 ♪ Babalú ayé ♪ 1016 00:44:54,361 --> 00:44:57,300 -(women laughing) -(lively music continues) 1017 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:05,638 (horns stop, drumming continues) 1018 00:45:05,739 --> 00:45:08,740 ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 1019 00:45:08,141 --> 00:45:11,110 -♪ Ol é , ol é , ol é , olé ♪ -♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 1020 00:45:11,111 --> 00:45:12,779 ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 1021 00:45:12,846 --> 00:45:15,982 -♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1022 00:45:16,490 --> 00:45:19,652 -♪ Arriba con la conga ♪ -♪ Arriba con la conga. ♪ 1023 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,354 (drumming intensifies) 1024 00:45:21,421 --> 00:45:23,423 (audience cheering) 1025 00:45:23,523 --> 00:45:25,191 (horns join in, music builds) 1026 00:45:31,398 --> 00:45:33,633 -(song ends) -(audience cheering) 1027 00:45:35,769 --> 00:45:36,970 (lively chatter, laughter) 1028 00:45:37,700 --> 00:45:39,500 -What do we have here? -WOMAN: Yeah, Desi! 1029 00:45:39,105 --> 00:45:40,240 A lot of choices. 1030 00:45:40,306 --> 00:45:43,760 There's only one choice for me, and she's got a powerful right hook. 1031 00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:46,546 My friend and I saw the midnight show and the 2:00 a.m. 1032 00:45:46,646 --> 00:45:47,847 (chuckles) 1033 00:45:47,947 --> 00:45:49,516 Thank you. 1034 00:45:49,616 --> 00:45:51,384 WOMAN: Aw. 1035 00:45:51,484 --> 00:45:53,386 ♪ ♪ 1036 00:45:53,486 --> 00:45:55,488 (birds chirping) 1037 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:16,343 I did the calculation. 1038 00:46:16,443 --> 00:46:17,811 In the course of one week, 1039 00:46:17,911 --> 00:46:20,847 I see you 1/20th as much as your second trombone player. 1040 00:46:21,948 --> 00:46:25,180 Well, learn to play the trombone, and I'll give you his job. 1041 00:46:25,118 --> 00:46:27,320 Well, how hard is the trombone? 1042 00:46:29,322 --> 00:46:32,759 Ay, maybe it'd be better if we didn't spend the little time we have 1043 00:46:32,859 --> 00:46:35,929 arguing about why we don't have more time. 1044 00:46:36,290 --> 00:46:39,265 Don't make me feel like a ***** because I want to see my husband. 1045 00:46:39,366 --> 00:46:41,701 -Hey. -(sighs) 1046 00:46:41,768 --> 00:46:45,905 I-I could stay home and be kept by my wife. 1047 00:46:46,906 --> 00:46:49,943 I mean, that'd really complete the picture Americans have of Cuban men. 1048 00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:52,178 What home are you talking about? 1049 00:46:52,278 --> 00:46:56,149 Or you could quit the film business and just be my wife. 1050 00:46:56,216 --> 00:46:58,151 But you ain't gonna do that, right? 1051 00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,586 No. 1052 00:46:59,686 --> 00:47:01,654 How about you come to the club more to watch the show? 1053 00:47:04,424 --> 00:47:06,159 I had a picture open five days ago. 1054 00:47:06,226 --> 00:47:08,395 You really want me to come down to the club? 1055 00:47:08,461 --> 00:47:09,963 Why not? 1056 00:47:11,464 --> 00:47:13,266 Okay. 1057 00:47:13,366 --> 00:47:15,902 (band playing “Cuban Pete”) 1058 00:47:15,969 --> 00:47:18,638 ♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪ 1059 00:47:18,738 --> 00:47:21,174 ♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪ 1060 00:47:21,274 --> 00:47:22,676 ♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪ 1061 00:47:22,776 --> 00:47:25,779 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 1062 00:47:25,845 --> 00:47:27,714 ♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪ 1063 00:47:27,814 --> 00:47:30,160 ♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪ 1064 00:47:30,116 --> 00:47:31,951 ♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪ 1065 00:47:32,180 --> 00:47:34,421 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 1066 00:47:34,521 --> 00:47:37,323 -♪ The señoritas, they sing ♪ -(women chattering excitedly) 1067 00:47:37,390 --> 00:47:39,926 ♪ And how they swing with this rumbero ♪ 1068 00:47:40,260 --> 00:47:41,928 ♪ It's very nice ♪ 1069 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:43,296 ♪ So full of spice ♪ 1070 00:47:43,396 --> 00:47:44,397 (laughs) 1071 00:47:44,464 --> 00:47:46,299 ♪ And when they're dancing ♪ 1072 00:47:46,399 --> 00:47:48,802 ♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪ 1073 00:47:48,902 --> 00:47:50,637 ♪ Singing a song ♪ 1074 00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:52,906 -♪ All the day long. ♪ -(song ends) 1075 00:47:52,972 --> 00:47:55,575 Ah! What do we have here? 1076 00:47:55,642 --> 00:47:57,344 -(cheering) -MAN: Lucy! 1077 00:47:57,444 --> 00:47:59,446 (excited chatter) 1078 00:47:59,512 --> 00:48:01,348 ♪ ♪ 1079 00:48:02,549 --> 00:48:04,150 MAN: This way, Miss Ball! Hollywood Citizen! 1080 00:48:04,217 --> 00:48:05,885 WOMAN: We love you in the movie! 1081 00:48:05,985 --> 00:48:07,987 -Thank you. -Wasn't the show fun? 1082 00:48:12,759 --> 00:48:14,928 -(knocking) -VIVIAN: Come on in. 1083 00:48:16,596 --> 00:48:17,597 Good morning. 1084 00:48:17,697 --> 00:48:19,366 Hey, Maddie. 1085 00:48:19,432 --> 00:48:21,201 (sighs) Some week, huh? 1086 00:48:21,267 --> 00:48:23,303 Lucille Ball's a threat to the American way of life? 1087 00:48:23,403 --> 00:48:25,905 She's a threat to writers, camera operators and Desi, 1088 00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:27,730 but it really stops there. 1089 00:48:27,140 --> 00:48:28,975 Have you ever had a week like this? 1090 00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:31,344 No, but we work in Hollywood, and something tells me 1091 00:48:31,444 --> 00:48:33,847 we're all gonna have weeks like this before that committee's done. 1092 00:48:33,947 --> 00:48:35,548 (chuckles softly) 1093 00:48:35,648 --> 00:48:37,384 -Look what you can still do. -Still? 1094 00:48:37,484 --> 00:48:40,200 (chuckles): I regretted it even before I said it. 1095 00:48:40,860 --> 00:48:42,255 I can't do that, and I'm just impressed. 1096 00:48:42,355 --> 00:48:43,523 What's in your hands? 1097 00:48:43,590 --> 00:48:45,392 I got you some breakfast from the commissary. 1098 00:48:45,492 --> 00:48:47,600 They told me you didn't have any, but… 1099 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,729 I did. I had a cup of coffee and half a grapefruit. 1100 00:48:49,796 --> 00:48:52,532 Well, I have French toast, bacon, eggs and potatoes. 1101 00:48:52,599 --> 00:48:54,567 -Enjoy it. -It's for you. 1102 00:48:54,634 --> 00:48:56,970 That was very sweet, but, no, thank you. 1103 00:48:58,838 --> 00:49:00,740 Is it just me or have you lost a little weight? 1104 00:49:00,807 --> 00:49:02,475 I have. 1105 00:49:02,575 --> 00:49:04,611 Well, you look great. 1106 00:49:04,678 --> 00:49:06,179 Thank you. 1107 00:49:10,817 --> 00:49:13,860 -I'll see you onstage. -Mm-hmm. 1108 00:49:13,186 --> 00:49:15,822 -Madelyn. -Yeah? 1109 00:49:15,889 --> 00:49:18,358 Who told you that I didn't have any breakfast? 1110 00:49:20,927 --> 00:49:22,929 (sighs) I don't know. 1111 00:49:23,290 --> 00:49:25,231 I think… 1112 00:49:25,298 --> 00:49:27,200 It was Tino. 1113 00:49:27,267 --> 00:49:28,535 The tall waiter. 1114 00:49:28,601 --> 00:49:30,700 (whispers): Okay. 1115 00:49:31,137 --> 00:49:32,339 (softly): Yeah. 1116 00:49:35,141 --> 00:49:37,310 (sighs): Jesus Christ. 1117 00:49:37,410 --> 00:49:39,879 Day three and still no pickup on the Winchell story. 1118 00:49:39,979 --> 00:49:41,815 -Fellas, I think we're out of this. -(chuckles): Might be. 1119 00:49:41,881 --> 00:49:43,783 -Might be. -Howard? 1120 00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:46,286 There's another shoe, and none of us are getting out of this alive. 1121 00:49:46,353 --> 00:49:47,520 JOE: Howard. 1122 00:49:47,587 --> 00:49:49,155 They're uncovering something new, 1123 00:49:49,222 --> 00:49:52,425 they're chasing the original testimony, something, 1124 00:49:52,525 --> 00:49:53,727 but there's another shoe. 1125 00:49:53,827 --> 00:49:55,762 There's nothing more to uncover. There are no more shoes. 1126 00:49:55,862 --> 00:49:58,131 -Lucy's pregnant. -Well, that. 1127 00:50:02,469 --> 00:50:03,503 What? 1128 00:50:03,603 --> 00:50:04,604 Lucy's pregnant. 1129 00:50:04,671 --> 00:50:06,600 With a baby? 1130 00:50:06,106 --> 00:50:07,841 Mm-hmm. 1131 00:50:07,941 --> 00:50:09,750 ROGER: How… 1132 00:50:09,142 --> 00:50:11,478 I'm… (clears throat) not sure what words to use. 1133 00:50:11,544 --> 00:50:14,514 How much pregnant are you? 1134 00:50:14,614 --> 00:50:16,883 Why did you think you didn't know what words to use? 1135 00:50:16,983 --> 00:50:19,185 He means how far, as a percentage of nine months– 1136 00:50:19,285 --> 00:50:21,870 where are you on-on the timeline of-of the… 1137 00:50:21,187 --> 00:50:22,889 Someone should point a goddamn camera at this. 1138 00:50:22,989 --> 00:50:24,157 DESI: She's 12 weeks pregnant. 1139 00:50:24,224 --> 00:50:25,191 So that means, uh… 1140 00:50:25,258 --> 00:50:27,193 12 weeks ago, I ****ed my husband. 1141 00:50:27,260 --> 00:50:28,228 -Whoa, whoa, whoa! -No, no, no. -(overlapping chatter) 1142 00:50:28,294 --> 00:50:30,363 (laughing) 1143 00:50:30,430 --> 00:50:32,265 DESI: She'll start showing in about 1144 00:50:32,365 --> 00:50:36,770 six weeks, and a month after that, (sighs) there won't be any hiding it. 1145 00:50:36,836 --> 00:50:38,271 This isn't a problem. 1146 00:50:38,338 --> 00:50:39,773 -It's not. -This has happened before. 1147 00:50:39,839 --> 00:50:42,942 I won't say names, but it's been dealt with. 1148 00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:45,512 Is he talking about having me killed? 1149 00:50:45,612 --> 00:50:47,447 No, you carry a basket of laundry, 1150 00:50:47,514 --> 00:50:50,216 stand behind chairs, you sit with a pillow on your lap. 1151 00:50:50,316 --> 00:50:51,885 Those are great ideas, especially having Lucy 1152 00:50:51,985 --> 00:50:53,420 carry a basket of laundry in every scene. 1153 00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:54,754 Or stand behind chairs. 1154 00:50:54,854 --> 00:50:58,910 Where in the Ricardo's living room are the giant chairs you're talking about? 1155 00:50:58,191 --> 00:51:00,326 Lucy and Ricky redecorate, huh? 1156 00:51:00,393 --> 00:51:01,895 The writers can get some fun out of this. 1157 00:51:01,961 --> 00:51:04,230 Maybe they get some large ficus trees. 1158 00:51:04,297 --> 00:51:05,565 They'd have to be California redwoods, 1159 00:51:05,632 --> 00:51:08,101 and I'd have to stand behind them anytime I wasn't doing the wash. 1160 00:51:08,201 --> 00:51:09,402 Well, what do you propose? 1161 00:51:09,469 --> 00:51:10,904 That the Ricardos have a baby. 1162 00:51:10,970 --> 00:51:13,173 (laughter) 1163 00:51:13,273 --> 00:51:14,941 What do you mean? 1164 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,743 I told you it was gonna be like this. 1165 00:51:16,810 --> 00:51:20,280 Lucy Ricardo will be pregnant on the show. 1166 00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:25,452 An eight-episode arc starting with Lucy telling Ricky the happy news 1167 00:51:25,518 --> 00:51:28,355 -and ending with the birth of the baby. -ROGER (laughs): No. 1168 00:51:28,421 --> 00:51:30,900 No, no, no. 1169 00:51:30,190 --> 00:51:31,691 You can't have a pregnant woman on television. 1170 00:51:31,758 --> 00:51:32,892 DESI: Why not? 1171 00:51:32,992 --> 00:51:33,993 Because it's television. 1172 00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:35,628 We come into people's homes. 1173 00:51:35,729 --> 00:51:37,864 Pregnant women often vomit. 1174 00:51:37,931 --> 00:51:39,733 I know I could any second. 1175 00:51:39,799 --> 00:51:41,801 -May I say something? -Frankly, I can't wait. 1176 00:51:41,901 --> 00:51:44,904 If Lucy Ricardo's pregnant, the audience's mind immediately goes 1177 00:51:44,971 --> 00:51:46,272 to how did she get that way. 1178 00:51:46,339 --> 00:51:47,607 Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds. 1179 00:51:47,674 --> 00:51:49,609 We'll be pushing the beds together, too. 1180 00:51:49,676 --> 00:51:51,144 -Oh. -Oh, no. -Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1181 00:51:51,211 --> 00:51:53,680 I'm sorry, Des, we're gonna have to put our foot down on this one. 1182 00:51:53,780 --> 00:51:55,815 You can't do it. End of discussion. 1183 00:51:58,685 --> 00:51:59,919 (groans) 1184 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,880 ♪ ♪ 1185 00:52:02,188 --> 00:52:05,725 Miss Rosen, will you come in please, with a pad and pen? 1186 00:52:09,763 --> 00:52:11,197 -My secretary. -(footsteps approaching) 1187 00:52:12,599 --> 00:52:14,134 What are you doing? 1188 00:52:14,234 --> 00:52:15,969 To Mr. Alfred Lyons, Chairman of the Board of Philip Morris. 1189 00:52:16,690 --> 00:52:17,470 HOWARD: We don't want to bring Mr. Lyons into this. 1190 00:52:17,570 --> 00:52:20,730 “Mr. Lyons, I guess it all comes down to you. 1191 00:52:20,140 --> 00:52:22,742 “You are the man who's paying the money for this show, 1192 00:52:22,809 --> 00:52:24,477 and I'll do whatever you decide.” 1193 00:52:24,544 --> 00:52:26,780 Mr. Lyons doesn't get involved at this level. 1194 00:52:26,846 --> 00:52:29,649 “There's only one thing I want to make certain that you understand.” 1195 00:52:29,716 --> 00:52:31,451 -Desi… -“We've given you 1196 00:52:31,518 --> 00:52:33,420 “the number one show on television, 1197 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,757 “and up until now, the creative decisions have been in our hands. 1198 00:52:37,857 --> 00:52:41,461 They are now telling us that Lucy and Ricky can't have a baby on the show.” 1199 00:52:41,561 --> 00:52:42,696 That's not exactly what we said. 1200 00:52:42,762 --> 00:52:45,231 “All I ask from you, if you agree with them, 1201 00:52:45,298 --> 00:52:48,802 “is that you inform them that we will not accept them telling us what not to do 1202 00:52:48,902 --> 00:52:54,341 “unless, beginning with our next episode, they also tell us what to do. 1203 00:52:54,441 --> 00:52:56,976 Sincerely,” et cetera, et cetera. Thank you. 1204 00:52:57,770 --> 00:52:59,446 -And send it by telegram please. -Yes, sir. 1205 00:53:01,981 --> 00:53:04,384 And that wasn't even why I married him. 1206 00:53:08,540 --> 00:53:09,550 That was. 1207 00:53:11,658 --> 00:53:13,660 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Quiet please! Rehearsal's up! 1208 00:53:13,727 --> 00:53:16,429 Lucy, let me out of here! 1209 00:53:16,529 --> 00:53:17,964 Untie this coat! 1210 00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:19,899 Not until you kiss and make up. 1211 00:53:19,966 --> 00:53:22,669 I'll never make up with him after the things he said. 1212 00:53:22,769 --> 00:53:24,838 What about the things you said to me? 1213 00:53:24,938 --> 00:53:26,973 She said my mother looks like a weasel. 1214 00:53:27,730 --> 00:53:29,309 -Apologize, Ethel. -No. 1215 00:53:29,409 --> 00:53:32,712 Oh, come on, Ethel. Tell him you're sorry. 1216 00:53:32,812 --> 00:53:33,880 Well… 1217 00:53:33,980 --> 00:53:36,160 I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel. 1218 00:53:36,116 --> 00:53:38,180 Now, Ethel. 1219 00:53:38,118 --> 00:53:39,386 Well, he should have more consideration. 1220 00:53:39,486 --> 00:53:41,554 After all, I gave him the best years of my life. 1221 00:53:41,654 --> 00:53:44,157 -Were those the best? -(gasps) 1222 00:53:44,224 --> 00:53:46,260 All right, all right, now you're even. 1223 00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,280 Now, what are your terms for making up, Ethel? 1224 00:53:48,940 --> 00:53:49,562 Well, he should… 1225 00:53:49,629 --> 00:53:52,298 We should go back to the dinner table. 1226 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,360 -What was that? -We should go back to the dinner table. 1227 00:53:56,102 --> 00:53:59,239 I think, given the time, we should move on. 1228 00:53:59,305 --> 00:54:00,306 It was good. 1229 00:54:00,407 --> 00:54:02,108 Yeah, except, no, it wasn't. 1230 00:54:02,175 --> 00:54:03,243 -What? -Good. 1231 00:54:03,309 --> 00:54:04,944 -Wasn't good. -Uh… 1232 00:54:05,110 --> 00:54:06,120 Ah, let's go back. 1233 00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:07,380 WILLIAM: What's happening? 1234 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:08,715 VIVIAN: (sighs) She wants to go back. 1235 00:54:08,815 --> 00:54:09,849 -WILLIAM: To what? -The dinner scene. 1236 00:54:09,949 --> 00:54:11,484 WILLIAM: What? 1237 00:54:11,551 --> 00:54:14,187 VIVIAN: The dinner scene, you drunken yontz! 1238 00:54:14,254 --> 00:54:16,220 WILLIAM: Have we hired anyone to play Ethel yet? 1239 00:54:16,890 --> 00:54:17,357 All right, let's go. 1240 00:54:17,424 --> 00:54:18,558 Go forward or go back to the dinner scene? 1241 00:54:18,658 --> 00:54:19,659 Back. 1242 00:54:19,726 --> 00:54:21,261 (sighs heavily) 1243 00:54:21,361 --> 00:54:23,897 Page 15. This is still scene “A.” 1244 00:54:23,963 --> 00:54:25,532 From, “You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner.” 1245 00:54:25,598 --> 00:54:27,801 -Cameras reset. Props reset. -VIVIAN: Someone's gonna need to tell us 1246 00:54:27,901 --> 00:54:29,602 what was wrong with the scene in the first place. 1247 00:54:29,669 --> 00:54:30,937 -WILLIAM: You were in it. -DESI: Bill. 1248 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:32,772 Something fundamental was wrong. I'll figure out what. 1249 00:54:32,839 --> 00:54:33,940 I can figure out what. 1250 00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:35,675 -Let's all do our individual jobs. -(sighs) 1251 00:54:35,775 --> 00:54:37,477 (quietly): I hit him in the face until he's bleeding– 1252 00:54:37,544 --> 00:54:39,713 -does our insurance cover that? -DESI: Yeah, I got the platinum plan. 1253 00:54:39,813 --> 00:54:41,470 Good job. 1254 00:54:41,147 --> 00:54:42,649 -Ready, ready. -Quiet please! 1255 00:54:42,716 --> 00:54:44,170 Rehearsal's up! 1256 00:54:44,117 --> 00:54:46,386 DONALD: From, “You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner.” 1257 00:54:46,486 --> 00:54:47,520 Settle. 1258 00:54:47,587 --> 00:54:49,823 And action. 1259 00:54:49,889 --> 00:54:51,157 Uh, you're right. 1260 00:54:51,224 --> 00:54:53,326 He's not gonna do me out of dinner. 1261 00:54:53,393 --> 00:54:54,594 Good. 1262 00:54:54,694 --> 00:54:57,530 Oh. Now, sit down, everyone. 1263 00:54:59,532 --> 00:55:02,469 We don't have any more chairs. 1264 00:55:02,569 --> 00:55:05,171 You two don't mind sharing, do you? 1265 00:55:07,807 --> 00:55:09,642 The roast beef should be precut. 1266 00:55:09,743 --> 00:55:11,378 -It will be, dear. -DESI: How's that, Ethel? 1267 00:55:11,478 --> 00:55:13,446 -Not too much fat, is there? -VIVIAN: There certainly is. 1268 00:55:13,513 --> 00:55:14,514 He means the meat. 1269 00:55:14,614 --> 00:55:16,490 Oh, no, the meat is fine. 1270 00:55:16,149 --> 00:55:18,685 LUCILLE: Now do your thing. 1271 00:55:18,785 --> 00:55:20,653 Come on. 1272 00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:21,888 -Mm. -DONALD: Perfect. 1273 00:55:21,988 --> 00:55:23,323 -Yeah? -Moving on. 1274 00:55:23,390 --> 00:55:25,392 -MAN: Moving… -Staying put. -Why? 1275 00:55:25,492 --> 00:55:27,270 We need to work out the moves at the table. 1276 00:55:27,930 --> 00:55:28,461 Bill and I can work out the moves. 1277 00:55:28,561 --> 00:55:30,130 It's not that I'm not confident that you can't work out… 1278 00:55:30,230 --> 00:55:31,731 This is camera blocking. 1279 00:55:31,798 --> 00:55:34,234 We can work out the stage business during tomorrow's run-through. 1280 00:55:34,300 --> 00:55:36,670 I would strongly prefer that we do it now. 1281 00:55:36,770 --> 00:55:39,239 I have to exercise my directorial authority. 1282 00:55:39,305 --> 00:55:41,700 -You have to do what? -DESI: Let's take a break. 1283 00:55:41,107 --> 00:55:43,760 -It's not time for a break. -Good, then, that's ten minutes. 1284 00:55:43,143 --> 00:55:45,145 Ten minutes, we come back to scene “A”! 1285 00:55:45,211 --> 00:55:47,514 -No, we don't. -Maybe we don't. It's hard to say. 1286 00:55:47,614 --> 00:55:49,616 (indistinct chatter) 1287 00:55:53,420 --> 00:55:54,888 Tell me what's happening, honey. 1288 00:55:54,988 --> 00:55:55,989 (exhaling musically) 1289 00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:57,524 -You know what occurs to me? -Mm-hmm? 1290 00:55:57,590 --> 00:55:59,192 At the top, it should be clear 1291 00:55:59,259 --> 00:56:00,527 that I'm setting a nice table, right? 1292 00:56:00,593 --> 00:56:02,962 There should be flowers in a vase. 1293 00:56:03,630 --> 00:56:05,310 (humming) 1294 00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:06,966 And I'm trying to get them just right. 1295 00:56:07,670 --> 00:56:09,469 And I cut one of the stems, but now it's too short. 1296 00:56:10,437 --> 00:56:11,971 Then I cut the others, but now they're too short and… 1297 00:56:12,720 --> 00:56:14,107 -I get it. -What do you think? 1298 00:56:14,174 --> 00:56:15,909 I think you're having a little bit of a breakdown. 1299 00:56:15,975 --> 00:56:17,410 I meant about the flowers. 1300 00:56:17,477 --> 00:56:20,146 Tell me what's happening now. 1301 00:56:20,213 --> 00:56:22,182 Why is this so hard to understand? 1302 00:56:22,282 --> 00:56:23,783 The dinner table isn't working, 1303 00:56:23,850 --> 00:56:25,218 -and we need it to. -Mm-hmm. 1304 00:56:25,318 --> 00:56:28,755 Right there are the building blocks of drama. 1305 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,620 ♪ ♪ 1306 00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,450 Viv. 1307 00:56:58,885 --> 00:57:00,220 It's not you. 1308 00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:01,888 Or Bill. 1309 00:57:01,988 --> 00:57:04,824 The dinner scene. It's Donald Glass. 1310 00:57:04,891 --> 00:57:06,993 Well… (chuckles) 1311 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:08,940 it'll be funny. 1312 00:57:08,194 --> 00:57:09,929 I'm sure of that. 1313 00:57:10,300 --> 00:57:12,399 Can't get better till it gets bad. 1314 00:57:12,465 --> 00:57:14,968 -Cross step one off the list. -Yeah. 1315 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:16,136 Okay. 1316 00:57:17,671 --> 00:57:19,239 You hanging in there? 1317 00:57:19,305 --> 00:57:21,740 Look, we've made 37 episodes. 1318 00:57:21,141 --> 00:57:24,411 You do 37 of anything, one of them's gonna be your 37th best. 1319 00:57:24,477 --> 00:57:26,446 Ours was directed by Donald Glass. 1320 00:57:26,513 --> 00:57:28,348 Honey, the committee. 1321 00:57:28,448 --> 00:57:30,684 They're not gonna base their findings based on how this week's sh… 1322 00:57:30,784 --> 00:57:31,951 **** the committee. 1323 00:57:32,180 --> 00:57:34,154 I said that. I'm talking about the show. 1324 00:57:34,220 --> 00:57:37,223 And unless you count his wardrobe, Donald Glass doesn't understand 1325 00:57:37,323 --> 00:57:40,427 the moving parts of physical comedy. 1326 00:57:40,527 --> 00:57:41,628 (sighs) 1327 00:57:41,728 --> 00:57:42,729 That's all. 1328 00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:45,732 My point is you're not the problem. 1329 00:57:45,799 --> 00:57:47,100 Mm-hmm. 1330 00:57:48,635 --> 00:57:49,936 Luce. 1331 00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:51,438 Yeah? 1332 00:57:52,439 --> 00:57:54,341 (sighs) 1333 00:57:54,441 --> 00:57:58,178 Uh, Madelyn brought me breakfast this morning. 1334 00:57:58,278 --> 00:58:01,548 French toast, bacon and potatoes. 1335 00:58:01,648 --> 00:58:05,151 She said that someone noticed I hadn't had breakfast. 1336 00:58:05,218 --> 00:58:06,820 She said it looked like I had lost some weight. 1337 00:58:06,886 --> 00:58:08,321 She's right. You look great. 1338 00:58:08,388 --> 00:58:11,324 Madelyn's a staff writer. She doesn't bring people their breakfast. 1339 00:58:13,930 --> 00:58:14,627 I'm not sure what you're asking. 1340 00:58:14,728 --> 00:58:15,862 It sounds like she was… 1341 00:58:15,929 --> 00:58:18,365 How would she know I hadn't had breakfast? 1342 00:58:20,767 --> 00:58:21,901 I really don't know. 1343 00:58:22,969 --> 00:58:24,971 -It was you, right? -Yeah. 1344 00:58:25,710 --> 00:58:27,674 Got to give me credit. When I lie, I give it up pretty quick. 1345 00:58:27,774 --> 00:58:30,276 -It's admirable. -Thanks. 1346 00:58:30,343 --> 00:58:35,150 You told her to bring me breakfast and remark on my weight loss. 1347 00:58:36,116 --> 00:58:37,183 Let me explain why. 1348 00:58:37,283 --> 00:58:38,451 Why? 1349 00:58:38,518 --> 00:58:40,520 Because I think you should get off this loony diet you're on. 1350 00:58:40,587 --> 00:58:41,688 It's working. 1351 00:58:41,755 --> 00:58:43,189 It's not good for you. 1352 00:58:43,256 --> 00:58:44,391 I feel great. 1353 00:58:44,491 --> 00:58:46,159 It's not good for Ethel. 1354 00:58:46,226 --> 00:58:48,280 Ah, it's not. 1355 00:58:48,940 --> 00:58:50,530 We're best friends, Viv. I don't want to fight. 1356 00:58:50,597 --> 00:58:52,298 -I just sent some breakfast over because… -You didn't just send it over. 1357 00:58:52,399 --> 00:58:54,634 You sent it over with Madelyn and a message 1358 00:58:54,734 --> 00:58:58,238 and now a new message, which is that I look too good. 1359 00:58:58,304 --> 00:59:01,274 Because we want you at the weight you were when we cast you. 1360 00:59:01,341 --> 00:59:02,642 Otherwise it'll be bad for Ethel? 1361 00:59:02,742 --> 00:59:03,977 -Yes. -Or bad for you? 1362 00:59:07,981 --> 00:59:09,490 All right. 1363 00:59:09,149 --> 00:59:11,151 No one's gonna stop loving Lucy when you're pregnant. 1364 00:59:11,217 --> 00:59:12,552 You're not a pinup girl. 1365 00:59:14,387 --> 00:59:15,689 Thanks for that, Viv. 1366 00:59:15,755 --> 00:59:18,324 VIVIAN: I'm saying take it easy, that's all. 1367 00:59:18,391 --> 00:59:21,961 Everyone here stands shoulder to shoulder with you and no one feels funny 1368 00:59:22,620 --> 00:59:24,464 'cause we're scared to death, and you're not helping 1369 00:59:24,564 --> 00:59:26,966 by jumping up and down on everyone who works here 1370 00:59:27,670 --> 00:59:28,768 and doing it in front of the whole crew! 1371 00:59:28,868 --> 00:59:32,720 Goddamn it, Viv, most American women look like you, not me. 1372 00:59:32,138 --> 00:59:34,307 They want to see themselves on television. 1373 00:59:39,713 --> 00:59:41,448 (door opens) 1374 00:59:44,384 --> 00:59:46,720 What the hell are the two of you screaming about? 1375 00:59:46,820 --> 00:59:48,588 -LUCILLE: Nothing. -Nothing! 1376 00:59:48,688 --> 00:59:50,857 I'm in my room taking my midmorning nap. 1377 00:59:50,924 --> 00:59:53,560 VIVIAN: Don't you usually do that while we're rehearsing? 1378 00:59:54,561 --> 00:59:57,697 I'd love to hear more of that Moss Hart wit on the show. 1379 01:00:04,971 --> 01:00:07,730 VIVIAN: Don't worry about it. 1380 01:00:07,140 --> 01:00:09,843 The weight always comes back. I can't keep it off anymore. 1381 01:00:11,711 --> 01:00:13,613 This conversation went poorly. 1382 01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,615 I thought it was great. 1383 01:00:15,682 --> 01:00:20,186 I definitely feel like performing for tens of millions of people now. 1384 01:00:22,489 --> 01:00:24,357 All right. 1385 01:00:24,424 --> 01:00:26,159 -So… -(page turns) 1386 01:00:26,226 --> 01:00:27,660 Okay. 1387 01:00:28,628 --> 01:00:30,630 (thunder rumbling softly) 1388 01:00:32,799 --> 01:00:35,235 -Lucille. -Yeah? 1389 01:00:36,669 --> 01:00:38,405 Come with me for a drink. 1390 01:00:38,471 --> 01:00:39,906 It's 10:00 a.m. 1391 01:00:39,973 --> 01:00:41,775 I'm sure it's 10:15 somewhere. 1392 01:00:41,841 --> 01:00:43,510 We have to be back onstage. 1393 01:00:43,610 --> 01:00:45,311 -I wonder if they'll wait for you. -Bill, I'm not… 1394 01:00:45,378 --> 01:00:46,546 Kid. 1395 01:00:46,646 --> 01:00:48,948 Tell the stage Mrs. Arnaz is taking some personal time 1396 01:00:49,150 --> 01:00:50,383 and she'll be back when she's back. 1397 01:00:50,483 --> 01:00:52,652 -Probably 15 minutes. -Yes, ma'am. 1398 01:00:52,719 --> 01:00:55,321 And you should remind props that I need garden shears in the opening scene. 1399 01:00:55,388 --> 01:00:56,823 -Copy. -WILLIAM: Let's go. 1400 01:00:56,890 --> 01:00:59,920 We have to establish right away that I'm setting a fancy table. 1401 01:00:59,192 --> 01:01:00,960 -You don't have to explain it to him. -We'll have flowers in a vase. 1402 01:01:01,610 --> 01:01:02,562 I'll cut one of the flowers. 1403 01:01:02,629 --> 01:01:04,564 -He doesn't care. -It'll be too short. 1404 01:01:04,631 --> 01:01:06,599 I'll cut the other flowers, they'll be too short, and so on. 1405 01:01:06,700 --> 01:01:08,134 -Got it. -So I need garden shears. 1406 01:01:08,234 --> 01:01:09,235 Copy. 1407 01:01:09,302 --> 01:01:11,504 Regular scissors aren't strong enough to cut through the stems. 1408 01:01:11,604 --> 01:01:13,473 He's thinking a lot about killing you now. 1409 01:01:13,573 --> 01:01:14,574 -Fine. -Go. 1410 01:01:14,641 --> 01:01:16,276 Yep. 1411 01:01:16,343 --> 01:01:17,977 (rain falling) 1412 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:19,546 It's raining. 1413 01:01:19,646 --> 01:01:20,847 -Your hair gonna be all right? -(thunder rumbling) 1414 01:01:20,947 --> 01:01:22,315 I'm fine. 1415 01:01:22,382 --> 01:01:26,519 Ever since I started doing this show, rain bounces off my hair. 1416 01:01:26,586 --> 01:01:28,421 -That's helpful. -Mm. 1417 01:01:28,521 --> 01:01:31,224 Honestly had no idea this place was here. 1418 01:01:31,324 --> 01:01:33,893 WILLIAM: They like to keep a low profile. 1419 01:01:33,993 --> 01:01:36,620 LUCILLE: Can't imagine why. 1420 01:01:36,129 --> 01:01:39,432 Kind of people go to a bar on a Wednesday morning? 1421 01:01:39,532 --> 01:01:41,768 WILLIAM: It's an eclectic group. 1422 01:01:41,868 --> 01:01:44,471 -What are you having? -(“Junker's Blues” playing over radio) 1423 01:01:44,571 --> 01:01:46,339 LUCILLE: I'll take a tetanus shot. 1424 01:01:46,439 --> 01:01:48,341 -Jim Beam, two times. -BARTENDER: Sure, Bill. 1425 01:01:48,441 --> 01:01:50,477 (sighs) I thought you and Desi had a deal. 1426 01:01:50,577 --> 01:01:53,460 You don't drink at work. 1427 01:01:53,146 --> 01:01:55,682 Desi and I have a deal that I won't be drunk at work. 1428 01:01:55,782 --> 01:01:57,884 Have you ever seen me drunk at work? 1429 01:01:57,984 --> 01:01:59,986 -Would I know? -No. 1430 01:02:00,530 --> 01:02:01,221 Here's to your new baby. 1431 01:02:01,321 --> 01:02:02,722 All right, then. 1432 01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,192 Are they being polite or do they not recognize us? 1433 01:02:06,259 --> 01:02:07,861 They don't own television sets. 1434 01:02:09,362 --> 01:02:10,697 Why didn't I think of that? 1435 01:02:10,764 --> 01:02:13,990 Honey, I read seven newspapers every day. 1436 01:02:13,199 --> 01:02:15,101 Seven? When do you have time to do that? 1437 01:02:15,201 --> 01:02:17,937 It's 30 minutes between races at Santa Anita, 1438 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:19,973 and it takes me a minute and a half to pick a horse. 1439 01:02:20,730 --> 01:02:21,608 -Aren't you at work? -Yeah. 1440 01:02:21,675 --> 01:02:24,544 We have bookies now and telephones. 1441 01:02:24,644 --> 01:02:27,347 Know all about that. Did a Damon Runyon picture. 1442 01:02:27,447 --> 01:02:29,282 In none of those seven newspapers 1443 01:02:29,349 --> 01:02:33,219 have I read anything about Lucille Ball being a Communist. 1444 01:02:34,688 --> 01:02:37,570 I don't hear anyone talking about it. 1445 01:02:37,157 --> 01:02:38,725 Since when do you talk to anyone? 1446 01:02:38,825 --> 01:02:41,227 I got news for you: the less you talk, the more things you hear, 1447 01:02:41,294 --> 01:02:43,129 and I haven't heard anything. 1448 01:02:43,229 --> 01:02:45,198 So… 1449 01:02:45,265 --> 01:02:46,466 problems at home? 1450 01:02:48,340 --> 01:02:49,669 Problems at home? 1451 01:02:49,769 --> 01:02:51,805 -Yeah. -No. 1452 01:02:51,905 --> 01:02:56,576 I'd like very much to have problems at home, but my problem's not home that much. 1453 01:02:56,643 --> 01:02:57,711 Few times a week. 1454 01:02:57,811 --> 01:02:58,978 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday night. 1455 01:02:59,450 --> 01:03:00,380 I know. 1456 01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:01,715 The picture's six months old. 1457 01:03:01,815 --> 01:03:04,217 I was there when it was taken. 1458 01:03:04,317 --> 01:03:06,820 I'm saying, why wasn't he home, where I and our daughter were? 1459 01:03:06,886 --> 01:03:11,157 Your husband is in love with America like no man I have ever known 1460 01:03:11,224 --> 01:03:15,862 since George M. Cohan, who loved America so much he wrote the same song five times. 1461 01:03:15,929 --> 01:03:16,963 Okay? 1462 01:03:17,630 --> 01:03:20,467 Desi loves America as much as that guy. 1463 01:03:20,567 --> 01:03:22,769 But that doesn't mean he's not Cuban. 1464 01:03:22,836 --> 01:03:24,471 -I know that. -The world he's from 1465 01:03:24,571 --> 01:03:27,173 has a very narrow definition of manhood. 1466 01:03:27,273 --> 01:03:29,576 -I know that, too. -The man is the man. 1467 01:03:29,642 --> 01:03:30,677 Mm-hmm. 1468 01:03:30,777 --> 01:03:32,612 And not for nothing, but the women are happy. 1469 01:03:32,679 --> 01:03:34,481 (scoffs softly) You've asked them? 1470 01:03:34,547 --> 01:03:36,282 They look happy. 1471 01:03:37,350 --> 01:03:38,785 I see. 1472 01:03:40,353 --> 01:03:42,389 -But that's neither here nor there. -It really isn't. 1473 01:03:42,489 --> 01:03:45,592 He's mesmerized by you, Lucille. 1474 01:03:45,692 --> 01:03:48,762 And he misses you when you're in two different places. 1475 01:03:48,862 --> 01:03:50,964 He does. I'm a witness. 1476 01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:52,599 -He doesn't have to. -He… 1477 01:03:52,699 --> 01:03:53,933 We live in the same house. 1478 01:03:54,340 --> 01:03:55,902 He does have to. 1479 01:03:55,969 --> 01:03:57,237 That's what I'm saying. 1480 01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:03,343 He has to spend time away from you so that he can feel like he's not the… 1481 01:04:03,443 --> 01:04:04,711 Second banana. 1482 01:04:04,811 --> 01:04:07,447 I navigate male egos for a living, bud. 1483 01:04:07,514 --> 01:04:09,616 Then why are you running the set? 1484 01:04:09,683 --> 01:04:12,218 Why are you running rehearsals? 1485 01:04:12,318 --> 01:04:13,920 You're doing it right in front of him. 1486 01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:16,723 I can't prioritize the director's feelings over the health of the show. 1487 01:04:16,823 --> 01:04:19,759 No, no, not– I couldn't care less about Donald's feelings if I tried hard. 1488 01:04:19,859 --> 01:04:20,927 He's a hack. 1489 01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:25,198 But we'll overcome that because, frankly, we're not doing Uncle Vanya. 1490 01:04:26,566 --> 01:04:27,767 Got it. 1491 01:04:27,867 --> 01:04:29,536 But the business at the dinner table has to be precise. 1492 01:04:29,602 --> 01:04:31,338 Really? 1493 01:04:31,438 --> 01:04:32,972 I was only in vaudeville 40 years, 1494 01:04:33,730 --> 01:04:35,642 so I wouldn't know about these things of which you speak. 1495 01:04:35,742 --> 01:04:36,776 I know you know. 1496 01:04:36,843 --> 01:04:38,110 I'm just saying… 1497 01:04:38,111 --> 01:04:40,880 You did it in front of Desi is my point. 1498 01:04:42,115 --> 01:04:43,783 Let me tell you something about Desi. 1499 01:04:43,850 --> 01:04:45,685 He runs this show. 1500 01:04:46,753 --> 01:04:49,255 Every creative decision goes through him. 1501 01:04:49,356 --> 01:04:52,359 Every business decision– the network, Philip Morris. 1502 01:04:52,425 --> 01:04:55,195 And if that wasn't enough, he is camera-ready on Monday. 1503 01:04:55,261 --> 01:04:58,798 Takes me five days to get a laugh. 1504 01:04:58,898 --> 01:05:00,734 He's killing it at the table read. 1505 01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:02,736 (chuckles softly) 1506 01:05:02,802 --> 01:05:05,972 And that man, believe me, is nobody's second banana. 1507 01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:08,942 How many people know that? 1508 01:05:09,900 --> 01:05:10,310 Know what? 1509 01:05:10,410 --> 01:05:12,712 That Desi runs the show. 1510 01:05:12,812 --> 01:05:14,814 How many people know that? 1511 01:05:19,519 --> 01:05:21,154 OLDER MADELYN: There was a minute there 1512 01:05:21,221 --> 01:05:24,391 when Lucy was gonna be a serious actress. 1513 01:05:24,491 --> 01:05:25,992 In serious movies. 1514 01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:29,863 She was gonna compete for roles with Crawford, Hayworth. 1515 01:05:31,464 --> 01:05:33,633 Might've been Lucy in All About Eve. 1516 01:05:33,733 --> 01:05:37,303 And you know what? She'd have blown the doors off the place. 1517 01:05:38,571 --> 01:05:41,141 It was almost like that. 1518 01:05:41,241 --> 01:05:42,509 For a minute there. 1519 01:05:42,609 --> 01:05:44,611 ♪ ♪ 1520 01:05:51,951 --> 01:05:53,520 Desi! 1521 01:05:54,988 --> 01:05:56,990 (tuning guitar) 1522 01:05:57,991 --> 01:05:58,992 Desi! 1523 01:05:59,590 --> 01:06:00,393 (pants, grunts) 1524 01:06:00,493 --> 01:06:01,461 Lucy? 1525 01:06:01,561 --> 01:06:02,696 What happened? 1526 01:06:02,762 --> 01:06:04,931 (panting) 1527 01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:06,533 Flat tire! 1528 01:06:06,599 --> 01:06:08,234 Quarter of a mile back. 1529 01:06:08,301 --> 01:06:10,403 And you abandoned the car there? 1530 01:06:10,470 --> 01:06:12,939 -I sprinted the last 500 yards. -What's going on? 1531 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,442 Also you ran with a bottle of champagne in your hand? 1532 01:06:15,508 --> 01:06:17,911 (breathlessly): Bringing it… 1533 01:06:19,145 --> 01:06:20,213 …more festive. 1534 01:06:20,313 --> 01:06:21,314 I got it. 1535 01:06:21,381 --> 01:06:22,849 I got the part. 1536 01:06:22,949 --> 01:06:24,951 -Which part? -I got the part, Des. 1537 01:06:25,180 --> 01:06:26,386 The Big Street. 1538 01:06:26,486 --> 01:06:28,555 You said it was going to Rita Hayworth. 1539 01:06:28,655 --> 01:06:30,560 Scheduling problems. 1540 01:06:30,156 --> 01:06:31,725 Then they went to Judy Holliday. 1541 01:06:31,825 --> 01:06:33,660 Scheduling problems. 1542 01:06:33,727 --> 01:06:37,964 I got the female lead in The Big Street. 1543 01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,233 That's tremendous. 1544 01:06:41,234 --> 01:06:42,302 That's tremendous. 1545 01:06:42,402 --> 01:06:45,271 I'm opposite Henry Fonda. 1546 01:06:45,338 --> 01:06:48,141 But when does it start photography? 1547 01:06:48,241 --> 01:06:49,242 Two weeks. 1548 01:06:49,309 --> 01:06:50,944 (panting continues) 1549 01:06:51,110 --> 01:06:53,179 -I still can't catch my breath. -(groans) 1550 01:06:54,481 --> 01:06:56,483 -It's Damon Runyon. -I know! 1551 01:06:56,549 --> 01:06:59,319 I know. I read the script, and I'm very, I'm very happy, Lucy, 1552 01:06:59,386 --> 01:07:01,721 but I was looking forward to you coming out on tour. 1553 01:07:03,523 --> 01:07:05,658 Rita Hayworth had scheduling problems. 1554 01:07:05,725 --> 01:07:08,610 Mm, so did you. 1555 01:07:08,128 --> 01:07:11,398 You don't think I want to be in the same city at the same time as my husband? 1556 01:07:11,464 --> 01:07:12,966 -I know. I know. -What do I– 1557 01:07:13,660 --> 01:07:15,235 Every decision I make is based on being near you. 1558 01:07:15,301 --> 01:07:17,170 Every single decision. 1559 01:07:17,270 --> 01:07:20,740 Well, yes, but obviously not every single decision. 1560 01:07:20,807 --> 01:07:23,243 -No? Hmm? -(sighs) 1561 01:07:23,309 --> 01:07:25,779 You know how many years I've spent sticking my head into frame, 1562 01:07:25,845 --> 01:07:27,681 saying something *****y and going away? 1563 01:07:27,781 --> 01:07:31,184 Crappy little roles in pictures I wouldn't pay a nickel to see 1564 01:07:31,284 --> 01:07:34,187 if the theater had the only available air-conditioning. 1565 01:07:34,254 --> 01:07:36,690 -Uh-huh. -If The Big Street is a hit, 1566 01:07:36,756 --> 01:07:41,528 I'll be getting the roles that go to Rita and Judy and Bette. 1567 01:07:41,594 --> 01:07:42,595 Which Judy? 1568 01:07:42,696 --> 01:07:43,763 -Holliday. -Ah. 1569 01:07:43,863 --> 01:07:45,565 Who's the baseball player that you talk about? 1570 01:07:45,632 --> 01:07:48,768 The one who sat down and let Lou Gehrig start that streak. 1571 01:07:48,868 --> 01:07:50,270 Oh, Wally Pipp. 1572 01:07:50,336 --> 01:07:52,138 Gehrig was his understudy. 1573 01:07:52,238 --> 01:07:54,674 -Backup. -And the guy took a rest one day. 1574 01:07:54,774 --> 01:07:57,177 Gehrig came in, didn't come out for 40 years. 1575 01:07:57,277 --> 01:07:58,678 14 years, and it was Wally Pipp. 1576 01:07:58,778 --> 01:08:01,448 Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp had scheduling problems, 1577 01:08:01,514 --> 01:08:06,860 Lou Gehrig, instead of grabbing his glove, toured with his husband's Latin orchestra. 1578 01:08:06,186 --> 01:08:07,721 It would've changed the course of baseball. 1579 01:08:07,821 --> 01:08:09,923 -And the course of Latin music. -(sighs) 1580 01:08:10,230 --> 01:08:11,825 Rita Hayworth is Wally Pipp. 1581 01:08:11,891 --> 01:08:13,590 I'm Lou Gehrig. 1582 01:08:13,159 --> 01:08:14,761 The Big Street is the Yankees. 1583 01:08:14,861 --> 01:08:17,230 I understood the metaphor so long ago. 1584 01:08:18,765 --> 01:08:21,368 You don't have to tour. You could stay in town. 1585 01:08:22,769 --> 01:08:25,605 -And do what? -Sell out Ciro's every night. 1586 01:08:25,672 --> 01:08:27,474 ♪ ♪ 1587 01:08:27,574 --> 01:08:30,410 We're not a house band. 1588 01:08:30,477 --> 01:08:32,679 I'd like to sell out New York. 1589 01:08:32,779 --> 01:08:35,548 I'd like to sell out Chicago and Miami, too. 1590 01:08:35,648 --> 01:08:37,484 -I know. -Hmm. 1591 01:08:37,550 --> 01:08:39,219 Eight weeks. 1592 01:08:39,319 --> 01:08:41,688 I'll come wherever you are on the weekends. 1593 01:08:42,889 --> 01:08:44,991 So it'll be important that you not fall in love with someone else 1594 01:08:45,580 --> 01:08:46,493 Mondays through Fridays. 1595 01:08:46,559 --> 01:08:48,461 Agreed. 1596 01:08:48,561 --> 01:08:50,230 Should we open the champagne, take our clothes off 1597 01:08:50,296 --> 01:08:51,731 and go skinny-dipping in the pool? 1598 01:08:51,798 --> 01:08:54,340 That bottle of champagne is basically a grenade now, 1599 01:08:54,100 --> 01:08:55,869 but all your other ideas were good. 1600 01:08:55,935 --> 01:08:59,139 Lucy, Lucy, Jesus. 1601 01:08:59,239 --> 01:09:00,473 Wow. 1602 01:09:00,573 --> 01:09:01,941 You're gonna be a movie star. 1603 01:09:03,777 --> 01:09:05,979 You comfortable with that? 1604 01:09:07,213 --> 01:09:09,716 Am I comfortable with that? 1605 01:09:19,759 --> 01:09:21,795 That bottle has comic timing. 1606 01:09:22,796 --> 01:09:24,798 ♪ ♪ 1607 01:09:32,639 --> 01:09:35,800 I've been at the studio for almost ten years. 1608 01:09:35,108 --> 01:09:36,776 I've never been in the president's office. 1609 01:09:36,843 --> 01:09:39,979 Mr. Koerner isn't the president. He's the head of production. 1610 01:09:41,470 --> 01:09:43,149 Second in command. 1611 01:09:43,216 --> 01:09:44,851 Still higher than I've ever gotten. 1612 01:09:44,951 --> 01:09:47,387 (intercom buzzes) 1613 01:09:47,487 --> 01:09:49,322 -Yes, sir. -KOERNER: Send her in. 1614 01:09:49,389 --> 01:09:50,557 You can go on in. 1615 01:09:55,929 --> 01:09:57,630 -Lucille. -(sighs) 1616 01:09:57,731 --> 01:09:59,899 -Charles Koerner. -Lucille Ball. (chuckles) 1617 01:09:59,966 --> 01:10:01,701 You like Lucille or Lucy? 1618 01:10:01,768 --> 01:10:03,403 Lucy's fine. I mean either's fine. 1619 01:10:03,470 --> 01:10:05,500 -Lucy. -All right. 1620 01:10:05,105 --> 01:10:06,973 And do I call you Charlie? 1621 01:10:07,730 --> 01:10:09,750 Anyone as brilliant as you were in The Big Street 1622 01:10:09,142 --> 01:10:10,844 can call me Betsy and I wouldn't care. 1623 01:10:10,944 --> 01:10:12,512 (laughs) Thank you. 1624 01:10:12,612 --> 01:10:14,614 Please, sit. Sit here. 1625 01:10:15,849 --> 01:10:16,850 (Lucille sighs) 1626 01:10:17,884 --> 01:10:19,486 Thank you. 1627 01:10:19,552 --> 01:10:20,587 (sighs heavily) 1628 01:10:20,687 --> 01:10:23,656 That was a whole new side of you we've never seen. 1629 01:10:23,723 --> 01:10:24,891 Where's that been? 1630 01:10:24,991 --> 01:10:27,160 -It's been buried under bad movies. -(laughs) 1631 01:10:27,227 --> 01:10:29,863 I've heard you make some form of that joke before. 1632 01:10:29,929 --> 01:10:33,266 Keep putting me in pictures like The Big Street, you won't hear it again. 1633 01:10:35,568 --> 01:10:37,637 We're dropping your contract, Lucy. 1634 01:10:37,737 --> 01:10:39,773 (laughs) 1635 01:10:39,839 --> 01:10:41,841 -No, it-it's not a joke. -That was… 1636 01:10:43,777 --> 01:10:46,279 RKO is dropping your contract. 1637 01:10:48,548 --> 01:10:50,150 I don't understand. 1638 01:10:51,284 --> 01:10:53,253 We don't have anything for you. 1639 01:10:55,522 --> 01:10:57,724 But that… 1640 01:10:57,824 --> 01:10:59,920 (exhales sharply) 1641 01:11:02,362 --> 01:11:03,930 This is happening fast. 1642 01:11:04,300 --> 01:11:05,198 The Big Street was a hit. 1643 01:11:05,265 --> 01:11:06,866 It was a critical hit. 1644 01:11:06,933 --> 01:11:08,902 I get that there wasn't a stampede to the box office, 1645 01:11:08,968 --> 01:11:10,270 but you didn't lose money, did you? 1646 01:11:10,336 --> 01:11:12,505 -No. -Do you understand the conditions 1647 01:11:12,605 --> 01:11:14,841 under which this picture was finished? 1648 01:11:14,941 --> 01:11:16,760 No, it has nothing to do with conditions… 1649 01:11:16,142 --> 01:11:18,878 Damon Runyon left town before principal photography, 1650 01:11:18,978 --> 01:11:22,480 our director joined the Army during postproduction, 1651 01:11:22,148 --> 01:11:25,118 and our editor died. 1652 01:11:25,185 --> 01:11:27,354 He just flat-out died. 1653 01:11:27,420 --> 01:11:29,723 -There were a number of obstacles. -That's accurate. 1654 01:11:29,823 --> 01:11:31,925 -Did you read the reviews? -They were very impressive. 1655 01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:33,326 They were more than impressive. 1656 01:11:33,393 --> 01:11:36,262 This has nothing to do with your performance in The Big Street. 1657 01:11:36,363 --> 01:11:39,399 But it should have everything to do with my performance in The Big Street. 1658 01:11:39,466 --> 01:11:43,937 I… I showed what I can do, and that's just the beginning of what I can do. 1659 01:11:44,300 --> 01:11:45,739 That is just the beginning of it. 1660 01:11:45,805 --> 01:11:48,108 (Lucille sighs) 1661 01:11:49,175 --> 01:11:50,944 Are you sure this isn't a joke? 1662 01:11:51,110 --> 01:11:52,645 It's a tough business. 1663 01:11:52,712 --> 01:11:53,780 I know that! 1664 01:11:53,847 --> 01:11:55,949 I've been in it since I was 14! 1665 01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:57,650 But you're 35 now. 1666 01:11:59,686 --> 01:12:01,721 -And that is the problem? -No. 1667 01:12:01,821 --> 01:12:04,891 The problem is you're really 39, aren't you? 1668 01:12:06,326 --> 01:12:07,594 Hmm. 1669 01:12:07,694 --> 01:12:11,264 39-year-olds don't go to see your movies? 1670 01:12:12,365 --> 01:12:14,634 They don't want to see stories about themselves? 1671 01:12:14,734 --> 01:12:18,772 You came through for us when Judy Holliday and Rita Hayworth were on other pictures, 1672 01:12:18,838 --> 01:12:21,141 and we didn't want to lose Fonda. 1673 01:12:21,241 --> 01:12:24,611 Now, this studio has a handshake understanding with Metro and Warner, 1674 01:12:24,678 --> 01:12:27,347 and they'll loan us Holliday or Hayworth, 1675 01:12:27,447 --> 01:12:31,785 so we just don't have enough for you to warrant keeping you under contract. 1676 01:12:31,851 --> 01:12:34,821 Judy Holliday does one thing very well, but it's just one thing. 1677 01:12:34,888 --> 01:12:36,589 I know how you're feeling right now. 1678 01:12:36,690 --> 01:12:39,993 I've had to have this conversation a hundred times. 1679 01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:42,696 I'm surprised because you're terrible at it. 1680 01:12:44,130 --> 01:12:45,565 Can I make a suggestion? 1681 01:12:47,133 --> 01:12:48,435 Radio. 1682 01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:51,638 The hell did you just say to me? 1683 01:12:51,738 --> 01:12:53,606 You've got the voice for it. 1684 01:12:53,673 --> 01:12:56,109 Look, I've noticed there's a lot you can do with your voice. 1685 01:12:56,176 --> 01:12:58,478 You should think about radio, Lucy. 1686 01:13:01,815 --> 01:13:04,117 And you should go **** yourself, Betsy. 1687 01:13:04,184 --> 01:13:06,186 ♪ ♪ 1688 01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,522 (crickets chirping) 1689 01:13:19,199 --> 01:13:20,467 (sighs softly) 1690 01:13:24,170 --> 01:13:25,672 DESI: Lucy? 1691 01:13:26,973 --> 01:13:28,675 What are you doing? 1692 01:13:28,775 --> 01:13:30,910 I'm reading scripts. 1693 01:13:32,445 --> 01:13:35,648 Oh, it's 3:00 in the morning. 1694 01:13:35,715 --> 01:13:37,984 I know. 1695 01:13:38,510 --> 01:13:39,853 I'm drunk, too. 1696 01:13:40,854 --> 01:13:42,522 I know why you like drinking. 1697 01:13:42,589 --> 01:13:45,358 I didn't get it till about two hours ago. 1698 01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:49,129 You read any good movies? 1699 01:13:49,229 --> 01:13:51,564 These are radio pilots. 1700 01:13:51,631 --> 01:13:53,533 Oh, yeah? 1701 01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:54,634 Yeah. 1702 01:13:54,734 --> 01:13:57,904 There's nothing wrong with radio. 1703 01:13:57,971 --> 01:13:59,239 I do it all the time. 1704 01:13:59,305 --> 01:14:01,141 You're a bandleader. 1705 01:14:13,353 --> 01:14:15,655 You know, Bataan was a hit, too. 1706 01:14:16,823 --> 01:14:17,891 I didn't hear you. 1707 01:14:17,991 --> 01:14:20,260 Bataan was a hit. 1708 01:14:20,930 --> 01:14:22,462 I was good. 1709 01:14:22,562 --> 01:14:25,298 The reviews were valentines, and I didn't bang a drum. 1710 01:14:26,399 --> 01:14:28,535 It would have led to better parts, except I had to go to– 1711 01:14:28,601 --> 01:14:30,437 what do you call it?– 1712 01:14:30,503 --> 01:14:33,306 fight World War II. 1713 01:14:35,675 --> 01:14:38,812 And now those crappy little parts in pictures you wouldn't pay a nickel to see 1714 01:14:38,878 --> 01:14:41,981 -if it was the only available air-conditioning in the… -Des. 1715 01:14:42,480 --> 01:14:44,500 I can't get them. 1716 01:14:49,422 --> 01:14:51,424 ♪ ♪ 1717 01:14:53,593 --> 01:14:55,280 (sighs softly) 1718 01:15:09,676 --> 01:15:11,845 DESI: Gee, honey, are you sure those bandages are fake? 1719 01:15:11,945 --> 01:15:14,280 -Oh, yeah. -Are you sure you're all right? 1720 01:15:14,347 --> 01:15:16,816 -Yeah, honey, I'm fine. -Oh, yeah– oh, let me help you. 1721 01:15:16,883 --> 01:15:17,884 (groans): Oh. 1722 01:15:17,984 --> 01:15:20,987 It's a good thing the Mertzes had their awning up. 1723 01:15:21,540 --> 01:15:22,489 -Oh, honey. -(groans) 1724 01:15:22,555 --> 01:15:24,858 It was all my fault. 1725 01:15:24,924 --> 01:15:27,227 No, it was my fault, honey. 1726 01:15:27,293 --> 01:15:28,528 Weren't we silly? 1727 01:15:28,595 --> 01:15:30,263 DESI: Yes. We will never argue again. 1728 01:15:30,363 --> 01:15:32,365 Ah, baby. 1729 01:15:33,633 --> 01:15:36,736 -Lucy, are you okay?! -Yeah, I'm fine. 1730 01:15:36,803 --> 01:15:38,238 -You sure? -I'm sure. 1731 01:15:38,304 --> 01:15:39,773 WILLIAM: Thank goodness you're all right. 1732 01:15:39,839 --> 01:15:41,107 LUCILLE: Why? What's the matter? 1733 01:15:41,174 --> 01:15:43,410 When I told Ethel the whole gag was my idea, 1734 01:15:43,476 --> 01:15:45,145 she got mad and went home to her mother. 1735 01:15:45,211 --> 01:15:46,813 -Oh…! -Oh, no. 1736 01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:48,515 DONALD: And we cut. Good. 1737 01:15:48,615 --> 01:15:49,816 -Is that lunch? -(indistinct chatter) 1738 01:15:49,883 --> 01:15:51,217 That's one hour for lunch! 1739 01:15:51,317 --> 01:15:53,520 We'll do notes onstage after and go again. 1740 01:15:53,586 --> 01:15:55,488 Uh, one quick thing. 1741 01:15:55,555 --> 01:15:56,890 The table scene is getting good. 1742 01:15:56,990 --> 01:15:57,991 Yeah, it's not. 1743 01:15:58,580 --> 01:15:59,826 I wanted to circle back again and express 1744 01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:02,729 my serious concern about Ricky's entrance at the top. 1745 01:16:02,796 --> 01:16:05,465 I brought it up at the table read Monday. There haven't been new pages. 1746 01:16:05,565 --> 01:16:07,367 -Because it's gonna work. -Hear me out. 1747 01:16:07,434 --> 01:16:08,935 -Okay. -Right now, 1748 01:16:09,350 --> 01:16:10,670 Lucy is trimming the flowers on the table. 1749 01:16:10,770 --> 01:16:12,672 Ricky opens the door and comes in. 1750 01:16:12,772 --> 01:16:14,441 We're gonna have to cut the flowers. 1751 01:16:14,507 --> 01:16:17,277 I don't mean “cut the flowers.” I mean cut the flowers. 1752 01:16:17,344 --> 01:16:20,113 I couldn't understand the difference between those two line readings. 1753 01:16:20,180 --> 01:16:22,515 We're running long. We have to cut the bit with the flowers. 1754 01:16:22,615 --> 01:16:23,717 How long? 1755 01:16:23,817 --> 01:16:25,510 About a minute. 1756 01:16:25,151 --> 01:16:27,387 All right, well, we'll get back to the flowers. 1757 01:16:27,487 --> 01:16:29,823 The front door opens, Ricky comes in. 1758 01:16:29,889 --> 01:16:31,591 Lucy doesn't see or hear him, which is unusual 1759 01:16:31,691 --> 01:16:33,493 because the front door is, you know, 1760 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:34,861 -right there. -Mm-hmm. 1761 01:16:34,928 --> 01:16:36,563 And in previous episodes, we've established 1762 01:16:36,629 --> 01:16:38,531 Lucy's eyes and ears are connected to her brain. 1763 01:16:38,598 --> 01:16:40,367 We-we buy the conceit. 1764 01:16:40,433 --> 01:16:42,769 -I'm sorry? -We buy it. 1765 01:16:42,836 --> 01:16:45,772 Lucy is so focused on making the table nice 1766 01:16:45,839 --> 01:16:47,974 she doesn't even notice Ricky coming in the door. 1767 01:16:48,740 --> 01:16:49,776 -Okay, I'll run with that. -Yeah. 1768 01:16:49,843 --> 01:16:51,478 Ricky walks up to her quietly. 1769 01:16:51,544 --> 01:16:54,470 He puts his hands over her eyes and says… 1770 01:16:54,147 --> 01:16:55,782 “Guess who it is.” 1771 01:16:55,849 --> 01:16:59,386 -And then Lucy says, “Bill? Sam? Pat? Ralph?” -Yeah. 1772 01:16:59,486 --> 01:17:00,920 -She's teasing him. -Yes, she's teasing him. 1773 01:17:01,210 --> 01:17:02,489 That's clear. Ricky responds… 1774 01:17:02,555 --> 01:17:03,857 -“No.” -“No.” 1775 01:17:03,923 --> 01:17:07,160 And the stage direction for Ricky says “burning.” 1776 01:17:07,227 --> 01:17:08,228 “No!” 1777 01:17:08,294 --> 01:17:09,596 He's upset. 1778 01:17:09,696 --> 01:17:11,970 Lucy continues the teasing. 1779 01:17:11,197 --> 01:17:13,330 “George? Julius? Stephen? Ivan?” 1780 01:17:13,990 --> 01:17:14,601 -Yeah. -We changed that to 1781 01:17:14,701 --> 01:17:15,969 “Pedro? Julio? Juan? Guillermo?” 1782 01:17:16,690 --> 01:17:17,504 MADELYN: “Because those are Spanish names. 1783 01:17:17,604 --> 01:17:19,973 “I mean Mexican. Cuban. Latin. 1784 01:17:20,730 --> 01:17:21,474 “They're Brazilian names. 1785 01:17:21,574 --> 01:17:23,143 Turkish.” 1786 01:17:23,243 --> 01:17:24,544 -You done? -Yeah. -ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: We're moving into a meal penalty. 1787 01:17:24,644 --> 01:17:25,779 Yeah, okay. 1788 01:17:25,845 --> 01:17:27,213 LUCILLE: Lucy guesses some names. 1789 01:17:27,313 --> 01:17:28,448 Yeah, teasingly. 1790 01:17:28,515 --> 01:17:33,219 And the script indicates that Ricky takes his hands away from Lucy's eyes, 1791 01:17:33,319 --> 01:17:34,821 turns her around and says… 1792 01:17:34,888 --> 01:17:38,324 -“No, it's me.” -So my question again, Jess: 1793 01:17:38,391 --> 01:17:42,696 Does Ricky honestly, truly believe that there might be eight different men 1794 01:17:42,762 --> 01:17:48,340 who routinely walk into their apartment, all of whom sound exactly like Desi Arnaz? 1795 01:17:49,102 --> 01:17:50,937 You think we're saying Ricky's stupid? 1796 01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:52,906 I think you're saying the audience is. 1797 01:17:52,972 --> 01:17:55,675 And that's something for which they won't soon forgive you. 1798 01:17:55,775 --> 01:17:57,544 You charge for these lessons? 1799 01:17:57,644 --> 01:17:58,678 A ton. 1800 01:17:58,778 --> 01:18:02,148 For the sake of the joke, the audience will take the leap with us. 1801 01:18:02,215 --> 01:18:05,118 They will, but you'll need a busload of orthopedists when they land. 1802 01:18:05,185 --> 01:18:06,186 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Jess. 1803 01:18:06,286 --> 01:18:07,987 Let's talk about this after lunch, huh? 1804 01:18:08,540 --> 01:18:09,923 -I have an idea. -I got a crew here, 1805 01:18:10,230 --> 01:18:11,391 and we're about to run into a penalty, so… 1806 01:18:11,491 --> 01:18:14,594 -Lucy is working on the flowers. -We're cutting the flowers for time. 1807 01:18:14,694 --> 01:18:16,960 I don't mean literally cutting the flowers in the scene… 1808 01:18:16,196 --> 01:18:17,864 I cannot go through that again. 1809 01:18:17,931 --> 01:18:19,466 Ricky opens the door, comes in, 1810 01:18:19,566 --> 01:18:22,669 shuts the door, as we've seen him do in 37 episodes. 1811 01:18:22,769 --> 01:18:24,504 Lucy doesn't acknowledge him. 1812 01:18:24,604 --> 01:18:26,306 -Uh, so far, you're describing the script. -Right. 1813 01:18:26,406 --> 01:18:28,641 But instead of playing the hands-over-the-eyes guessing game, 1814 01:18:28,742 --> 01:18:30,610 Ricky just stands there. 1815 01:18:30,677 --> 01:18:34,114 He can't understand why Lucy doesn't notice he's home any more than we can. 1816 01:18:34,180 --> 01:18:37,484 He stands there for a full beat, and then another, 1817 01:18:37,550 --> 01:18:41,354 and then merrily, in a slightly exaggerated manner, 1818 01:18:41,421 --> 01:18:44,491 as we've heard him do a hundred times, he says… 1819 01:18:44,557 --> 01:18:46,526 “Lucy, I'm home!” 1820 01:18:46,593 --> 01:18:47,894 (laughter) 1821 01:18:47,961 --> 01:18:49,963 For Ricky is funny. 1822 01:18:50,630 --> 01:18:51,765 Hey, Luce? 1823 01:18:51,865 --> 01:18:54,134 Let's talk about it after lunch. 1824 01:18:55,802 --> 01:18:57,670 -Jim. -That's lunch! 1825 01:18:57,771 --> 01:18:58,838 One hour! 1826 01:18:58,938 --> 01:19:00,940 Back onstage for notes! 1827 01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:02,776 -MAN: All right, lunch! -(indistinct chatter) 1828 01:19:06,713 --> 01:19:07,947 Hang on! 1829 01:19:08,140 --> 01:19:09,716 Desi, does that work for you? 1830 01:19:09,816 --> 01:19:11,451 Works perfect. 1831 01:19:12,519 --> 01:19:14,521 We'll talk about it after lunch. 1832 01:19:16,423 --> 01:19:18,324 It needed to be fixed. 1833 01:19:18,391 --> 01:19:21,161 ♪ ♪ 1834 01:19:28,601 --> 01:19:30,103 BOB: I think we can get more out of “hypocrite.” 1835 01:19:30,170 --> 01:19:31,838 -MADELYN: Yeah. -Yeah? Like what? 1836 01:19:31,938 --> 01:19:34,607 Like Lucy turns to Desi and says, 1837 01:19:34,674 --> 01:19:36,976 “Well, it's nice to know I'm married to a hypocrite.” 1838 01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:38,945 And Desi gets his back up and says… 1839 01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:40,313 “Hypocrite?” 1840 01:19:40,380 --> 01:19:42,649 Then turns to Fred and says, “What's a hypocrite?” 1841 01:19:42,716 --> 01:19:45,180 Fred tells him, “It's a person who says one thing 1842 01:19:45,118 --> 01:19:46,486 -but does another.” -Mm-hmm. 1843 01:19:46,553 --> 01:19:48,822 Desi says, “Thank you,” turns back to Lucy and says… 1844 01:19:48,888 --> 01:19:50,990 -“Oh, yeah?” (chuckles) -Yeah, that's good. That's good. 1845 01:19:51,570 --> 01:19:52,759 Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna pitch. 1846 01:19:52,859 --> 01:19:54,794 -But I pitched it faster. -By interrupting me. 1847 01:19:54,894 --> 01:19:56,429 How do you think I got to be a woman in a comedy room? 1848 01:19:56,529 --> 01:19:57,530 (knocking) 1849 01:19:57,597 --> 01:19:59,990 Hey, is now a good time? 1850 01:19:59,199 --> 01:20:00,367 JESS: Yeah. Madelyn had a good idea. 1851 01:20:00,433 --> 01:20:04,104 Desi's entrance, we shoot it both ways and see which one gets the bigger laugh. 1852 01:20:04,170 --> 01:20:05,472 That was my idea. 1853 01:20:05,572 --> 01:20:07,107 It's a bad idea. 1854 01:20:07,173 --> 01:20:08,508 Mm. It's just not your day. 1855 01:20:08,608 --> 01:20:10,577 -Can I have a minute in your office? -JESS: Yeah. 1856 01:20:10,643 --> 01:20:11,878 Sure. 1857 01:20:11,978 --> 01:20:13,713 (sighs): All right. 1858 01:20:13,813 --> 01:20:15,215 (phone ringing in distance) 1859 01:20:15,315 --> 01:20:17,684 What's wrong with shooting it both ways? 1860 01:20:17,784 --> 01:20:20,153 You'll be on the floor during the show, right? 1861 01:20:20,220 --> 01:20:21,721 I'll be where I always am. 1862 01:20:21,821 --> 01:20:23,556 In full view of the audience? 1863 01:20:23,656 --> 01:20:25,158 I suppose. 1864 01:20:25,225 --> 01:20:26,659 Since we're doing it both ways, 1865 01:20:26,726 --> 01:20:29,729 how about we do it once with your pants on and once with your pants off? 1866 01:20:29,796 --> 01:20:31,731 -That's not the same. -It is. 1867 01:20:31,798 --> 01:20:35,435 And I don't want to do the version with my pants off in front of 200 people. 1868 01:20:35,535 --> 01:20:38,405 But that's not what I need to talk to you about. 1869 01:20:38,471 --> 01:20:40,473 You're not gonna tell me you're pregnant again, are you? 1870 01:20:40,573 --> 01:20:43,610 No. I'm still pregnant from before, but no. 1871 01:20:43,677 --> 01:20:46,379 Jess, you know how much I value you. 1872 01:20:46,479 --> 01:20:48,615 -I think I do. -You know you do. 1873 01:20:48,682 --> 01:20:49,783 Okay. 1874 01:20:49,849 --> 01:20:51,985 And you also know what it is Desi does around here. 1875 01:20:52,520 --> 01:20:53,720 Sure. 1876 01:20:53,820 --> 01:20:56,389 -I mean, every business decision goes through Desi. -Mm-hmm. 1877 01:20:56,489 --> 01:20:59,492 In fact, most business decisions are made by Desi. 1878 01:20:59,559 --> 01:21:02,362 -You married a very bright man. -I did. 1879 01:21:02,429 --> 01:21:04,731 He makes a lot of creative decisions, too. 1880 01:21:04,798 --> 01:21:06,766 Mm. I'm not sure I'd say a lot. 1881 01:21:06,866 --> 01:21:08,680 I would. I'd say a lot. 1882 01:21:08,134 --> 01:21:09,903 He devised the camera system that we use. 1883 01:21:09,969 --> 01:21:12,906 He's the reason the East Coast doesn't see the show on a foggy kinescope. 1884 01:21:12,972 --> 01:21:14,841 -Yeah. -And even though we use three cameras, 1885 01:21:14,941 --> 01:21:17,177 the studio audience can see every scene. 1886 01:21:17,277 --> 01:21:19,179 -That's him, too. -Mm-hmm. 1887 01:21:19,279 --> 01:21:20,780 And the four of us, the cast, we can see the audience. 1888 01:21:20,847 --> 01:21:21,981 I give him a lot of credit for that. 1889 01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:25,452 He's the one who thought up Lucy being pregnant on the show. 1890 01:21:26,519 --> 01:21:29,550 That is never gonna happen, 'cause no matter what CBS says, 1891 01:21:29,155 --> 01:21:30,390 Philip Morris is never gonna let it happen. 1892 01:21:30,490 --> 01:21:32,392 But, like I said, I give him credit. 1893 01:21:32,492 --> 01:21:34,961 That's the thing, though. You don't. 1894 01:21:35,610 --> 01:21:36,229 What do you mean? 1895 01:21:36,296 --> 01:21:38,565 He doesn't get credit as an executive producer, 1896 01:21:38,631 --> 01:21:41,340 which, let's face it, is what he is. 1897 01:21:41,101 --> 01:21:43,403 -(sighs) -You get sole credit. 1898 01:21:43,470 --> 01:21:45,972 I didn't win my credit in a raffle! I earn it. 1899 01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:48,908 I'm the showrunner! Not to mention being the creator of the show. 1900 01:21:48,975 --> 01:21:51,111 I don't see how we could do the show without you. 1901 01:21:51,177 --> 01:21:52,345 You absolutely could not. 1902 01:21:52,445 --> 01:21:55,281 I don't see how we could do the show without Desi either. 1903 01:21:55,348 --> 01:21:58,351 Because he plays Ricky, which he does get a screen credit for. 1904 01:21:58,451 --> 01:21:59,886 -Jess… -Is this something our agents should be talking about? 1905 01:21:59,986 --> 01:22:02,322 -No. -'Cause I'm not at all comfortable with this conversation. 1906 01:22:02,389 --> 01:22:04,657 I'm about to make you less comfortable. 1907 01:22:05,692 --> 01:22:07,927 I need you to help me save my marriage. 1908 01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:10,430 ♪ ♪ 1909 01:22:10,530 --> 01:22:13,366 I need you to help me save my marriage. 1910 01:22:21,341 --> 01:22:23,810 What do you think they're talking about in there? 1911 01:22:23,910 --> 01:22:26,646 I think they're talking about you. 1912 01:22:26,713 --> 01:22:29,549 I think they want to pay you less because you're not as funny as I am. 1913 01:22:29,649 --> 01:22:32,520 Mary Pat, would you mind asking Desi if I can come see him? 1914 01:22:32,152 --> 01:22:33,553 Sure. 1915 01:22:33,653 --> 01:22:35,355 (door closes) 1916 01:22:35,422 --> 01:22:36,756 LUCILLE: Madelyn? 1917 01:22:36,856 --> 01:22:37,857 Yeah. 1918 01:22:38,892 --> 01:22:40,894 (phone ringing in distance) 1919 01:22:44,564 --> 01:22:47,100 -Was everything all right in there? -Yeah. 1920 01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:48,268 -So, listen. -Mm-hmm. 1921 01:22:48,368 --> 01:22:51,304 It has to be coherent, because if it's anything goes, then nothing's funny. 1922 01:22:51,404 --> 01:22:54,107 -Anything Goes was a hit. -Not Cole Porter's Anything Goes. 1923 01:22:54,174 --> 01:22:56,900 -I mean if an… -I know. 1924 01:22:56,109 --> 01:22:58,110 -Why are you telling me? -The opening, 1925 01:22:58,111 --> 01:23:00,880 Ricky's entrance with his hands over my eyes, that was Jess, right? 1926 01:23:02,849 --> 01:23:07,320 Outside of that room, we make it a point not to talk about who wrote what. 1927 01:23:07,387 --> 01:23:08,988 It wasn't Jess? 1928 01:23:09,550 --> 01:23:10,900 Again… 1929 01:23:10,190 --> 01:23:11,524 You know I'm right about the logic. 1930 01:23:11,591 --> 01:23:15,428 Why aren't you backing me up instead of endorsing a plan to shoot it both ways? 1931 01:23:15,528 --> 01:23:18,565 Listen, why don't we get together for a drink or a swim this weekend, 1932 01:23:18,631 --> 01:23:20,200 and we can put it on the agenda? 1933 01:23:20,266 --> 01:23:23,670 Because the show is tomorrow and I'm fine talking about it now. 1934 01:23:23,770 --> 01:23:26,439 By all means, let's unnecessarily add more to what you're worried about this week. 1935 01:23:26,506 --> 01:23:28,775 -I'm not worried! I'm… -Shh. 1936 01:23:28,842 --> 01:23:30,760 (hushed): I'm not worried. 1937 01:23:30,143 --> 01:23:32,946 I'm saying I count on you to be the firewall, to be– 1938 01:23:33,130 --> 01:23:36,783 to-to make sure– just– logic, okay? 1939 01:23:36,850 --> 01:23:39,119 I won't say who wrote what, but I can tell you 1940 01:23:39,185 --> 01:23:41,254 that I'm the lady in there trying to make Lucy smarter. 1941 01:23:41,354 --> 01:23:42,422 Excuse me? 1942 01:23:42,522 --> 01:23:45,580 I'm the one trying, every week, to… 1943 01:23:45,158 --> 01:23:46,860 Lucy's dumb? 1944 01:23:46,926 --> 01:23:48,128 I didn't say that. 1945 01:23:48,228 --> 01:23:50,463 You're trying… 1946 01:23:50,563 --> 01:23:54,401 struggling, it sounds like– to make Lucy smarter? 1947 01:23:54,467 --> 01:23:56,803 I created this character with you. (chuckles softly) 1948 01:23:56,903 --> 01:23:58,672 And she needs to be smarter? 1949 01:23:58,772 --> 01:24:03,443 She sometimes, for the sake of comedy, is infantilized. 1950 01:24:04,711 --> 01:24:06,946 -(exhales sharply) -This is a crazy week, 1951 01:24:07,130 --> 01:24:09,490 time and place to be having this conversation. 1952 01:24:09,149 --> 01:24:11,384 -This is important… -How is she infantilized? 1953 01:24:11,484 --> 01:24:13,190 She literally says, “Waah.” 1954 01:24:13,860 --> 01:24:15,210 'Cause when she does, 60 million people laugh, 1955 01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,391 just like with Lou Costello and Stan Laurel, and you get paid. 1956 01:24:18,491 --> 01:24:21,294 When those two grown men play slow-witted five-year-olds, I cringe. 1957 01:24:21,394 --> 01:24:23,129 Then I question your comedy IQ. 1958 01:24:23,229 --> 01:24:24,631 No, you don't. 1959 01:24:24,731 --> 01:24:26,320 You think I'm the funniest writer in the room, 1960 01:24:26,990 --> 01:24:28,535 and that's why you're talking to me and not Jess. 1961 01:24:31,938 --> 01:24:33,606 Many people regard Lucy as clever. 1962 01:24:33,673 --> 01:24:35,909 I mean, she always has a plan to overcome an obstacle. 1963 01:24:35,975 --> 01:24:39,646 Yeah, but oftentimes that obstacle is her husband's permission. 1964 01:24:39,713 --> 01:24:44,217 You really think, this week, right now, is the best time to talk about this? 1965 01:24:44,317 --> 01:24:47,887 -No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago. -(sighs) 1966 01:24:48,888 --> 01:24:50,824 Look… 1967 01:24:50,890 --> 01:24:54,461 it's just a female perspective from another generation. 1968 01:24:54,561 --> 01:24:56,363 Another generation? 1969 01:24:56,429 --> 01:24:58,264 Ah, you're on a roll. 1970 01:24:58,365 --> 01:25:01,201 Bette Davis, Bacall, Hepburn. 1971 01:25:01,267 --> 01:25:02,602 -Funny women. -Judy Holliday. 1972 01:25:02,669 --> 01:25:04,304 Judy Holliday? Go to hell. 1973 01:25:04,404 --> 01:25:05,905 They are funny women. 1974 01:25:05,972 --> 01:25:08,475 And they're smart and tough and they outsmart the men. 1975 01:25:08,575 --> 01:25:09,943 So why do you and Gracie Allen feel like you have to… 1976 01:25:10,100 --> 01:25:11,511 Oh, stop. Okay. 1977 01:25:11,611 --> 01:25:12,779 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1978 01:25:12,846 --> 01:25:14,714 Maddie, I love you. 1979 01:25:14,814 --> 01:25:16,182 You're like, I guess, 1980 01:25:16,282 --> 01:25:18,852 -a great-granddaughter to me from another generation. -Hmm. 1981 01:25:18,952 --> 01:25:21,488 And my fervent wish for you is that, one day, 1982 01:25:21,554 --> 01:25:23,560 you will be half as funny as Gracie Allen. 1983 01:25:23,156 --> 01:25:27,427 In the meantime, please remember that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel, 1984 01:25:27,527 --> 01:25:30,263 if they live past tomorrow, have to live in a reality 1985 01:25:30,363 --> 01:25:32,732 that accepts the physical laws of the universe. 1986 01:25:32,799 --> 01:25:34,467 Ricky knows that Lucy doesn't believe 1987 01:25:34,567 --> 01:25:37,700 there are possibly eight other men in the apartment! 1988 01:25:37,137 --> 01:25:38,338 Understood. 1989 01:25:38,438 --> 01:25:39,739 (sighs heavily) 1990 01:25:39,806 --> 01:25:41,341 But I don't make that decision. 1991 01:25:41,441 --> 01:25:42,642 (door opens) 1992 01:25:42,742 --> 01:25:44,444 JESS: Let's go! 1993 01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,280 (sighs) 1994 01:25:49,683 --> 01:25:51,184 Mary Pat, cut the flowers. 1995 01:25:51,284 --> 01:25:52,786 And to be clear, by “cut the flowers,” I mean… 1996 01:25:52,852 --> 01:25:55,255 -She knows exactly what you mean. -Yeah, let's go. 1997 01:25:57,230 --> 01:25:58,725 (mutters): Judy Holliday. 1998 01:25:59,759 --> 01:26:01,940 This isn't happening. 1999 01:26:01,194 --> 01:26:02,629 ♪ ♪ 2000 01:26:02,729 --> 01:26:04,300 (clears throat) 2001 01:26:07,901 --> 01:26:10,503 -(knocking) -Mr. Arnaz? 2002 01:26:10,603 --> 01:26:12,272 Come in. 2003 01:26:12,339 --> 01:26:15,800 Mr. Oppenheimer is here to see you with Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh. 2004 01:26:15,108 --> 01:26:17,610 Uh, nothing from Mr. Lyons yet? 2005 01:26:17,677 --> 01:26:18,645 No. 2006 01:26:18,712 --> 01:26:19,879 (sighs) 2007 01:26:19,979 --> 01:26:21,548 Anyone at Philip Morris? 2008 01:26:21,648 --> 01:26:22,982 No. 2009 01:26:28,880 --> 01:26:30,230 Gracias. 2010 01:26:30,900 --> 01:26:32,425 -(phone ringing) -Acompáñame al escenario. 2011 01:26:32,525 --> 01:26:34,361 Walk me to the stage. We're an hour behind. 2012 01:26:34,427 --> 01:26:36,296 Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke for the second act. 2013 01:26:36,396 --> 01:26:39,132 I just this minute told Lucy that we don't talk about who wrote what. 2014 01:26:39,232 --> 01:26:41,267 Madelyn came up with the joke just seconds after I did. 2015 01:26:41,368 --> 01:26:44,700 Isn't it possible that two comedy writers working on the same script 2016 01:26:44,137 --> 01:26:45,505 came up with the same joke at the same time? 2017 01:26:45,605 --> 01:26:46,673 -It's possible. -Thank you. 2018 01:26:46,773 --> 01:26:48,975 -Just not what happened. -Do I need to be here for any of this? 2019 01:26:49,750 --> 01:26:51,277 Uh, “Hypocrite? What's a hypocrite?” 2020 01:26:51,344 --> 01:26:54,470 -So that's to Fred. -Got it. Good. 2021 01:26:54,147 --> 01:26:55,615 -Is that what you wanted me for? -Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 2022 01:26:55,682 --> 01:26:58,218 The hypocrite joke is for episode nine. That's the script we're working on, okay? 2023 01:26:58,318 --> 01:27:00,220 If Lucy's gonna be pregnant– Lucy Ricardo– 2024 01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,655 then we have to introduce it in nine, according to your timetable. 2025 01:27:02,722 --> 01:27:05,825 -Yeah. -So I just want to confirm that there's no chance we're doing that, right? 2026 01:27:05,892 --> 01:27:07,594 We are doing that. 2027 01:27:07,694 --> 01:27:09,429 You know Philip Morris won't let us. 2028 01:27:09,529 --> 01:27:11,631 And-and even if they did, we don't want to see this girl pregnant. 2029 01:27:11,731 --> 01:27:12,866 We don't want to know that she's pregnant. 2030 01:27:12,932 --> 01:27:14,100 We don't want to know how she got pregnant. 2031 01:27:14,200 --> 01:27:17,103 Do we have viewers who don't know how women get pregnant? 2032 01:27:17,170 --> 01:27:18,672 Yeah, they're called children. 2033 01:27:18,772 --> 01:27:21,641 Uh, do any of these children have younger brothers or sisters? 2034 01:27:21,741 --> 01:27:24,477 You know what, you know what else a lot of our viewers are? Christian. 2035 01:27:24,544 --> 01:27:26,346 Ah, I'm way ahead of you. 2036 01:27:26,446 --> 01:27:31,985 I'm going to have a priest, a minister and a rabbi review every script. 2037 01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:34,187 I'm gonna get rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi? 2038 01:27:34,254 --> 01:27:35,922 -Mm-hmm. -A joke in there somewhere. 2039 01:27:36,220 --> 01:27:38,191 Good, because if I'm rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi, 2040 01:27:38,258 --> 01:27:39,492 there aren't gonna be many left in the script. 2041 01:27:39,559 --> 01:27:40,794 -(laughs) Good one. -Uh, Des… 2042 01:27:40,894 --> 01:27:42,362 No, no, e-enough. Enough. 2043 01:27:42,429 --> 01:27:44,364 I sent a telegram to Alfred Lyons. 2044 01:27:44,431 --> 01:27:45,565 -You did. -Yes. 2045 01:27:45,632 --> 01:27:47,670 And I've put the decision in his hands. 2046 01:27:47,133 --> 01:27:49,102 -Okay. Okay. -All right. 2047 01:27:49,169 --> 01:27:50,503 (chuckles): Okay, good. 2048 01:27:50,603 --> 01:27:53,273 -You're that sure he's gonna say no, huh? -I am. 2049 01:27:53,340 --> 01:27:55,342 -That it? Okay. -Mm-hmm. -Yeah. 2050 01:27:55,442 --> 01:27:58,611 Oh, Bob, Bob, tell Desi that thing you were saying before. 2051 01:27:59,679 --> 01:28:00,780 Me? 2052 01:28:00,847 --> 01:28:02,882 Yeah. 2053 01:28:02,982 --> 01:28:04,617 -Really? -DESI: Guys. 2054 01:28:04,684 --> 01:28:06,219 JESS: No, it was interesting. 2055 01:28:06,319 --> 01:28:07,921 -Bob was saying that you… -Hmm? 2056 01:28:08,210 --> 01:28:10,560 …are really the title character of the show. 2057 01:28:10,156 --> 01:28:13,993 Because you are the “I” in I Love Lucy. 2058 01:28:15,195 --> 01:28:16,629 Mm-hmm. 2059 01:28:16,730 --> 01:28:18,131 So strictly speaking, you have top billing. 2060 01:28:19,232 --> 01:28:21,534 I am the “I” in I Love Lucy. 2061 01:28:21,601 --> 01:28:23,570 (chuckles): Yeah. 2062 01:28:23,636 --> 01:28:25,138 I never thought of it that way. 2063 01:28:25,238 --> 01:28:27,173 -Yeah, you like that? -I like that. 2064 01:28:27,273 --> 01:28:28,274 Yeah. 2065 01:28:28,341 --> 01:28:30,143 (chuckles): Jess… 2066 01:28:30,243 --> 01:28:33,613 patronize me again, and I'll stick my hand down your throat 2067 01:28:33,680 --> 01:28:36,216 and pull your ****ing lungs out. (pops lips) 2068 01:28:36,316 --> 01:28:38,510 -Look… (stammers) -ROSEN: Excuse me. 2069 01:28:38,151 --> 01:28:39,152 What is it? 2070 01:28:39,219 --> 01:28:40,920 It-It's a telegram for Mr. Arnaz. 2071 01:28:41,210 --> 01:28:43,690 -It's from Mr. Lyons and Philip Morris. -Mm. 2072 01:28:45,910 --> 01:28:47,930 -Vamos a ver. -Yeah. 2073 01:28:51,131 --> 01:28:52,298 Let's go, please. 2074 01:28:52,399 --> 01:28:54,434 -We are an hour behind. -Yeah. 2075 01:29:00,106 --> 01:29:01,941 What does it say? 2076 01:29:03,900 --> 01:29:06,460 “To all Philip Morris and CBS employees: 2077 01:29:07,313 --> 01:29:09,449 Don't **** with the Cuban.” 2078 01:29:10,650 --> 01:29:13,219 (thunder rumbling) 2079 01:29:16,189 --> 01:29:18,892 LUCILLE: “He didn't come home and he hasn't called. 2080 01:29:18,992 --> 01:29:22,195 Not that it makes any difference to me.” 2081 01:29:22,262 --> 01:29:24,964 “Oh, I can see that it doesn't make any difference to you. 2082 01:29:25,650 --> 01:29:28,340 Why don't you call Ricky and tell him you're sorry?” 2083 01:29:28,101 --> 01:29:31,404 “What? You think I'd allow my pride…” Hmm. 2084 01:29:31,471 --> 01:29:34,674 “Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?” 2085 01:29:34,774 --> 01:29:35,775 (whispers): Never. 2086 01:29:37,410 --> 01:29:38,611 (whispers): What are you doing up? 2087 01:29:38,678 --> 01:29:41,481 (hushed): I woke up and you weren't there. 2088 01:29:41,548 --> 01:29:45,552 So I went to the nursery to see if everything was okay, and… 2089 01:29:45,652 --> 01:29:47,687 she kicked her blanket off, so I fixed it. 2090 01:29:47,754 --> 01:29:49,689 That woke her up. 2091 01:29:49,756 --> 01:29:52,392 But as you can see, I got her back to sleep. 2092 01:29:52,492 --> 01:29:54,940 (thunder rumbling softly) 2093 01:29:54,194 --> 01:29:57,630 You know we pay a housekeeper to do the laundry, right? 2094 01:29:58,131 --> 01:30:00,633 I like doing laundry. I never get the chance. 2095 01:30:01,735 --> 01:30:04,437 Okay, I'm going to put her back in her little apartment now. 2096 01:30:05,505 --> 01:30:06,673 You should come back to bed. 2097 01:30:06,773 --> 01:30:07,974 I will. 2098 01:30:09,776 --> 01:30:11,311 (exhales heavily) 2099 01:30:14,470 --> 01:30:16,683 “Do you think I'd call him and go crawling back?” 2100 01:30:16,783 --> 01:30:19,352 “What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride?” 2101 01:30:19,419 --> 01:30:23,560 “Do you think I'd call and go crawling…” 2102 01:30:23,156 --> 01:30:25,325 -(thunder rumbling softly) -(sighs heavily) 2103 01:30:25,392 --> 01:30:26,760 (inhales sharply) 2104 01:30:26,860 --> 01:30:29,629 ♪ ♪ 2105 01:30:31,898 --> 01:30:35,935 (whispers): “What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?” 2106 01:30:52,819 --> 01:30:54,821 ♪ ♪ 2107 01:31:19,279 --> 01:31:21,281 ♪ ♪ 2108 01:31:46,272 --> 01:31:48,274 ♪ ♪ 2109 01:32:01,588 --> 01:32:03,490 -WILLIAM: Lucy? -LUCILLE: Over here. 2110 01:32:03,556 --> 01:32:05,250 Thanks, Bobby. 2111 01:32:05,910 --> 01:32:06,760 BOBBY: You got it, Bill. 2112 01:32:06,860 --> 01:32:08,395 WILLIAM: (sighs) What the hell? 2113 01:32:08,461 --> 01:32:10,397 LUCILLE: Thanks for coming down. 2114 01:32:11,464 --> 01:32:14,367 -It's 2:00 in the morning. -Sorry about that. 2115 01:32:16,803 --> 01:32:17,804 Kid, what's going on? 2116 01:32:17,904 --> 01:32:20,140 I'm gonna restage the dinner scene. 2117 01:32:20,240 --> 01:32:22,575 Let's go to my dressing room and call Desi. 2118 01:32:22,642 --> 01:32:25,445 No, Desi's at home with the baby. We can do this. 2119 01:32:25,512 --> 01:32:27,514 -Does he know you're here? -He's sleeping. 2120 01:32:27,614 --> 01:32:29,382 Let me take you home. 2121 01:32:30,383 --> 01:32:32,686 -Is that him? -That's Viv. 2122 01:32:32,786 --> 01:32:34,854 You called her, too? 2123 01:32:34,921 --> 01:32:38,240 -I'm restaging the dinner scene. -(car door opens, closes) 2124 01:32:38,910 --> 01:32:40,260 This isn't for beginners, you know. This isn't school. 2125 01:32:40,930 --> 01:32:41,795 I don't hire the directors. 2126 01:32:41,895 --> 01:32:44,230 I know. I'm just saying. 2127 01:32:44,297 --> 01:32:47,133 -VIVIAN: What's happening here? -Thanks for coming, Viv. 2128 01:32:47,233 --> 01:32:49,335 -Is everything all right? -WILLIAM: The three of us 2129 01:32:49,436 --> 01:32:51,471 are on an empty soundstage at 2:00 in the morning, 2130 01:32:51,571 --> 01:32:53,807 she's drunk, I'm not. 2131 01:32:53,907 --> 01:32:55,742 So, yeah, everything's great. Why do you ask? 2132 01:32:55,809 --> 01:32:57,711 Your call just said to come to the stage, that it was an emergency. 2133 01:32:57,811 --> 01:32:59,612 -So I… -We need to re-block the dinner scene. 2134 01:32:59,679 --> 01:33:01,614 It's not gonna take long. 2135 01:33:01,681 --> 01:33:03,116 -What? -You heard her right. 2136 01:33:03,183 --> 01:33:06,553 It won't take long. We just need to make an adjustment. 2137 01:33:07,887 --> 01:33:11,591 Two people who are fighting have to share a seat at a dinner table. 2138 01:33:11,691 --> 01:33:17,430 First thing, we take this, move it upstage so the camera can see you. 2139 01:33:17,530 --> 01:33:21,134 Now, this can't just be a mishmash of pushing. 2140 01:33:21,234 --> 01:33:23,436 Can't just be a scrum. 2141 01:33:23,503 --> 01:33:25,271 Each move has to be articulate. 2142 01:33:25,338 --> 01:33:27,674 So Ethel elbows Fred. 2143 01:33:27,774 --> 01:33:28,775 Elbow him. 2144 01:33:28,842 --> 01:33:30,176 (audience laughter) 2145 01:33:30,276 --> 01:33:32,445 Fred elbows Ethel a little harder. 2146 01:33:32,512 --> 01:33:33,513 -Ow! -(audience laughter) 2147 01:33:33,613 --> 01:33:35,982 Ethel elbows Fred harder. 2148 01:33:36,490 --> 01:33:37,484 -Hey! -Then Fred. 2149 01:33:38,651 --> 01:33:40,854 Now hit each other at the same time and fall off the chair. 2150 01:33:41,921 --> 01:33:44,900 (audience laughter, clapping) 2151 01:33:44,190 --> 01:33:45,158 That's that. 2152 01:33:45,225 --> 01:33:48,862 Let's run it a couple of times at speed. Hmm? 2153 01:33:49,863 --> 01:33:51,310 Did something happen? 2154 01:33:51,970 --> 01:33:53,199 -I'm sorry? -At home. 2155 01:33:53,266 --> 01:33:55,535 -Did something just happen? -Uh… (exhales) 2156 01:33:55,602 --> 01:33:57,971 No. I was, um… 2157 01:33:59,973 --> 01:34:01,775 No. 2158 01:34:01,841 --> 01:34:03,843 I was doing some laundry and… 2159 01:34:03,943 --> 01:34:05,445 No. 2160 01:34:08,181 --> 01:34:10,183 Yeah. (sniffs) Yeah. 2161 01:34:10,283 --> 01:34:11,618 I wanted to fix this beat. 2162 01:34:11,685 --> 01:34:14,254 I… (exhales heavily) I couldn't sleep. 2163 01:34:19,559 --> 01:34:23,630 It's like when you're not sure if you've left the oven unlocked. 2164 01:34:23,129 --> 01:34:24,631 -Door unlocked. Nothing. -(fingers snap) 2165 01:34:24,731 --> 01:34:25,732 I wanted to fix this beat. 2166 01:34:25,799 --> 01:34:27,634 Let's do it again. 2167 01:34:33,340 --> 01:34:36,476 You know I did this show so Desi and I could be together? 2168 01:34:36,576 --> 01:34:38,311 ♪ ♪ 2169 01:34:38,378 --> 01:34:40,780 I had no idea it was gonna be a hit. 2170 01:34:43,483 --> 01:34:45,452 I just thought, “Well, the construction department's gonna 2171 01:34:45,518 --> 01:34:48,488 build us a little apartment, and that's where we'll live most of the time.” 2172 01:34:48,555 --> 01:34:50,223 You know? 2173 01:34:53,827 --> 01:34:55,695 And it worked out. 2174 01:34:55,762 --> 01:34:57,530 This is where… 2175 01:35:04,504 --> 01:35:07,730 It's like a story you'd read a little girl. 2176 01:35:08,141 --> 01:35:10,143 A witch puts a curse on a woman. 2177 01:35:10,243 --> 01:35:13,380 She'll be adored by the man she loves, 2178 01:35:13,480 --> 01:35:16,816 but only as long as she stays on this… 2179 01:35:16,883 --> 01:35:18,518 (whispers): patch of ground. 2180 01:35:19,853 --> 01:35:21,540 (chuckles softly) 2181 01:35:22,322 --> 01:35:25,425 It's still a lot more than most people get. 2182 01:35:30,764 --> 01:35:31,965 Let's run it at speed. 2183 01:35:34,467 --> 01:35:35,935 I'm gonna drive you home. 2184 01:35:36,360 --> 01:35:38,505 -Let me take… -I am the biggest asset 2185 01:35:38,605 --> 01:35:41,641 in the portfolio of the Columbia Broadcasting System, 2186 01:35:41,741 --> 01:35:47,347 the biggest asset in the portfolio of Philip Morris tobacco, Westinghouse. 2187 01:35:47,447 --> 01:35:51,117 I get paid a fortune to do exactly what I love doing. 2188 01:35:51,184 --> 01:35:56,222 I work side by side with my husband, who is genuinely impressed by me. 2189 01:35:56,322 --> 01:36:00,326 And all I have to do to keep it is kill every week for 36 weeks in a row, 2190 01:36:00,393 --> 01:36:03,563 and then do it again the next year. 2191 01:36:03,630 --> 01:36:06,990 Kill. 2192 01:36:06,199 --> 01:36:08,902 So let's do it again. 2193 01:36:08,968 --> 01:36:10,970 ♪ ♪ 2194 01:36:19,346 --> 01:36:21,614 OLDER MADELYN: After RKO dropped Lucy's contract, 2195 01:36:21,681 --> 01:36:24,517 MGM had her in for a Technicolor test, 2196 01:36:24,617 --> 01:36:30,223 which she didn't know yet would be one of the most important moments in her life. 2197 01:36:30,323 --> 01:36:35,950 A man named Sydney Guilaroff was Metro's chief hair stylist. 2198 01:36:35,195 --> 01:36:40,100 Looked at Lucy and said, “The hair is brown but the soul is on fire.” 2199 01:36:41,601 --> 01:36:43,269 He dyed her hair a new color. 2200 01:36:43,336 --> 01:36:44,637 -(indistinct chatter) -Quiet, please. 2201 01:36:44,738 --> 01:36:46,673 (band playing lively theme music) 2202 01:36:46,773 --> 01:36:49,976 It's time for My Favorite Husband, starring Lucille Ball. 2203 01:36:50,760 --> 01:36:51,111 (applause) 2204 01:36:51,177 --> 01:36:53,179 Jell-O, everybody! 2205 01:36:56,783 --> 01:36:58,785 ANNOUNCER: Yes, it's the *** family series, 2206 01:36:58,852 --> 01:37:00,920 starring Lucille Ball with Richard Denning, 2207 01:37:01,210 --> 01:37:03,990 transcribed and brought to you by the Jell-O family of desserts. 2208 01:37:04,570 --> 01:37:06,559 -♪ J-E-L-L-Oh! ♪ -(band playing jingle) 2209 01:37:06,659 --> 01:37:10,296 ♪ The big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♪ 2210 01:37:10,397 --> 01:37:14,401 ♪ Oh, the big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♪ 2211 01:37:14,467 --> 01:37:15,935 -♪ That's Jell-O ♪ -♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪ 2212 01:37:16,360 --> 01:37:18,400 -♪ Jell-O puddings ♪ -♪ Yum, yum, yum. ♪ 2213 01:37:18,104 --> 01:37:19,406 (jingle ends) 2214 01:37:19,472 --> 01:37:21,608 ANNOUNCER: And now, Lucille Ball with Richard Denning 2215 01:37:21,675 --> 01:37:25,545 as Liz and George Cooper, two people who live together and like it. 2216 01:37:25,645 --> 01:37:27,213 -(light music playing) -As we look in on the Coopers, 2217 01:37:27,313 --> 01:37:29,783 it's a beautiful spring day and Liz is just going to the kitchen 2218 01:37:29,849 --> 01:37:31,484 -to talk to Katy, the maid. -(birds chirping) 2219 01:37:31,551 --> 01:37:34,387 -Oh, Katy? -Yes, Mrs. Cooper? 2220 01:37:34,487 --> 01:37:36,723 Katy, I've got some good news for you. 2221 01:37:36,823 --> 01:37:38,391 -Uh-oh. -“Uh-oh”? 2222 01:37:38,491 --> 01:37:39,726 What do you mean, “Uh-oh”? 2223 01:37:39,826 --> 01:37:42,896 I say I've got some good news and you say, “Uh-oh”? 2224 01:37:42,962 --> 01:37:44,764 (audience laughter) 2225 01:37:44,864 --> 01:37:50,270 Every time you say you've got good news, it's usually good for you and bad for me. 2226 01:37:50,336 --> 01:37:53,173 Oh, well… 2227 01:37:53,273 --> 01:37:55,408 that's a little true. 2228 01:37:55,475 --> 01:37:56,776 (audience laughter) 2229 01:38:00,814 --> 01:38:02,215 -(knocking) -JESS: Lucy? 2230 01:38:02,315 --> 01:38:03,983 Come on in. 2231 01:38:06,219 --> 01:38:07,887 That was a good show. 2232 01:38:07,987 --> 01:38:09,222 Yeah, I thought so, too. 2233 01:38:09,322 --> 01:38:11,257 Pass it on to Maddie and Bob, would you? 2234 01:38:11,358 --> 01:38:14,260 Mm-hmm. I've, uh, I got two gentlemen out here who'd like to meet you, 2235 01:38:14,361 --> 01:38:16,696 and you're gonna want to hear what they have to say. 2236 01:38:16,763 --> 01:38:18,798 Does it need to sound ominous? Can't they just come in? 2237 01:38:18,898 --> 01:38:20,367 (chuckles softly) 2238 01:38:20,433 --> 01:38:21,901 Yeah. Please, come in. 2239 01:38:24,838 --> 01:38:26,973 -Lucille Ball. -Yes, sir. 2240 01:38:27,730 --> 01:38:29,776 David Levy, head of comedy development, CBS. 2241 01:38:29,843 --> 01:38:31,344 David Hart, head of current programming, CBS. 2242 01:38:31,444 --> 01:38:34,381 Well, David and David, 2243 01:38:34,481 --> 01:38:37,517 I've been in a current comedy at CBS and I've never heard of either of you. 2244 01:38:37,617 --> 01:38:39,419 CBS Television. 2245 01:38:39,519 --> 01:38:41,554 CBS does television? 2246 01:38:41,654 --> 01:38:44,591 -Yeah. Edward R. Murrow is one of our t… -I was kidding. 2247 01:38:44,691 --> 01:38:45,725 -Understood. -That was funny. 2248 01:38:45,825 --> 01:38:47,600 Thank you. 2249 01:38:47,160 --> 01:38:49,562 These, uh, these men have an interesting idea. 2250 01:38:49,629 --> 01:38:52,320 LEVY: Lucy, we've been here to the show a few times now. 2251 01:38:52,980 --> 01:38:55,135 We noticed that when you do the show, you use gestures and expressions. 2252 01:38:55,235 --> 01:38:56,403 You mean the acting? 2253 01:38:56,469 --> 01:38:57,470 Yeah. 2254 01:38:57,570 --> 01:39:00,840 My face, my body, my voice, that's all I get to work with. 2255 01:39:00,940 --> 01:39:03,900 It's just unusual because it's radio. 2256 01:39:03,109 --> 01:39:04,110 I watched Jack Benny. 2257 01:39:04,177 --> 01:39:06,813 He plays it for the studio audience. 2258 01:39:06,880 --> 01:39:08,481 It works pretty well for him. 2259 01:39:08,548 --> 01:39:09,649 It does. 2260 01:39:09,716 --> 01:39:11,985 And it works pretty well for you, too. Very well. 2261 01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:15,210 And we think it's a shame that no one gets to see it. 2262 01:39:15,880 --> 01:39:17,900 Invent a way to see what's on the radio. 2263 01:39:17,190 --> 01:39:19,359 We did. It's television. 2264 01:39:19,426 --> 01:39:22,950 -Are you here to sell me one? -JESS: Lucy. 2265 01:39:22,195 --> 01:39:25,865 They want to put My Favorite Husband on TV. 2266 01:39:27,300 --> 01:39:29,302 ♪ ♪ 2267 01:39:32,972 --> 01:39:34,607 -LUCILLE: I'm very interested. -(lively chatter) 2268 01:39:34,674 --> 01:39:36,142 ROGER: That's great. 2269 01:39:36,242 --> 01:39:38,845 LEVY: Is it too early to raise a glass? 2270 01:39:38,945 --> 01:39:40,480 To My Favorite Husband. 2271 01:39:40,547 --> 01:39:41,815 -LUCILLE: Yes. -(chuckles) 2272 01:39:41,881 --> 01:39:44,150 Except I don't want to do My Favorite Husband. 2273 01:39:46,186 --> 01:39:49,222 -I'm confused. -Yeah, me, too. 2274 01:39:49,322 --> 01:39:50,990 Don't panic. It's simple. 2275 01:39:51,570 --> 01:39:53,993 I'm interested in the idea of doing My Favorite Husband on television. 2276 01:39:54,600 --> 01:39:55,628 I just want it to be a different show. 2277 01:39:57,300 --> 01:39:59,532 (chuckles): What kind of show do you want it to be? 2278 01:39:59,599 --> 01:40:02,102 One where Desi plays my husband. 2279 01:40:04,671 --> 01:40:07,574 I understand there's a casting issue. 2280 01:40:07,640 --> 01:40:10,143 -Was that to me? -Yes. 2281 01:40:10,243 --> 01:40:12,312 I wasn't sure. You're quite a ways away. 2282 01:40:12,379 --> 01:40:14,848 Our casting department has come up with a list 2283 01:40:14,948 --> 01:40:17,617 of very exciting names that we think you'll like. 2284 01:40:17,684 --> 01:40:20,860 -Pass this down to Lucy. -These are all very funny men. 2285 01:40:20,186 --> 01:40:21,554 I think we have mimeos for everyone. 2286 01:40:21,654 --> 01:40:23,923 One of the best lists I've seen in a while. 2287 01:40:24,240 --> 01:40:24,991 Number 12 died last week. 2288 01:40:25,580 --> 01:40:26,693 -That's my fault. -There's no issue. 2289 01:40:26,760 --> 01:40:28,728 What was that? 2290 01:40:28,795 --> 01:40:30,730 I was answering Mr. Macy. 2291 01:40:30,797 --> 01:40:32,320 There's no casting issue. 2292 01:40:32,980 --> 01:40:36,136 I'm ready and eager to do a half-hour domestic comedy for CBS, 2293 01:40:36,236 --> 01:40:40,674 if the role of my husband– let's call him Shmezy– is played by Desi. 2294 01:40:40,774 --> 01:40:42,809 -Can I remark on this? -Please. 2295 01:40:42,909 --> 01:40:46,813 On My Favorite Husband, your husband is the fifth vice president of a bank. 2296 01:40:46,880 --> 01:40:48,982 -Yes. -Can I ask you, in all candor, 2297 01:40:49,490 --> 01:40:52,385 do you see Desi as the fifth vice president of a bank? 2298 01:40:52,485 --> 01:40:55,255 I can't see him being the fifth vice president of anything. 2299 01:40:55,355 --> 01:40:56,923 I can see him owning the bank. 2300 01:40:57,891 --> 01:40:59,920 You see the problem? 2301 01:40:59,192 --> 01:41:01,227 I see what you think is the problem. 2302 01:41:01,294 --> 01:41:02,595 -MACY: Lucy. -Yes. 2303 01:41:02,696 --> 01:41:05,131 I don't ordinarily come to meetings like this. 2304 01:41:05,231 --> 01:41:09,436 This meeting is several floors below my general interest. 2305 01:41:09,536 --> 01:41:13,239 I'm here to deliver a hard truth. 2306 01:41:13,306 --> 01:41:19,679 We cannot have an all-American girl married to a man who isn't American. 2307 01:41:19,779 --> 01:41:21,348 He is American. 2308 01:41:21,448 --> 01:41:25,352 He was a sergeant in the U.S. Army and he served in the war. 2309 01:41:25,452 --> 01:41:28,188 You know exactly what I mean, Lucy. 2310 01:41:28,254 --> 01:41:30,390 -He's Spanish. -Still no. 2311 01:41:30,490 --> 01:41:31,891 He's never been to Spain in his life. 2312 01:41:31,991 --> 01:41:33,526 He speaks Spanish. He was born in Cuba. 2313 01:41:33,593 --> 01:41:37,764 His father was the mayor of Santiago, Cuba's second largest city. 2314 01:41:37,864 --> 01:41:39,866 -You know exactly what… -What you mean? Yes. 2315 01:41:39,933 --> 01:41:40,967 I do. 2316 01:41:41,670 --> 01:41:43,503 Look, I'm not here to get a job for my nephew. 2317 01:41:43,603 --> 01:41:46,239 Desi Arnaz is a phenomenally talented man. 2318 01:41:46,306 --> 01:41:49,109 Not just a world-class musician, but a very good actor 2319 01:41:49,175 --> 01:41:52,679 who would be a movie star if there was such a thing as a Cuban movie star. 2320 01:41:52,779 --> 01:41:55,315 Moreover, we work very well together. 2321 01:41:55,382 --> 01:41:58,785 I go out and meet him when he's touring, he brings me up for some sketches, 2322 01:41:58,852 --> 01:42:00,860 and it works. 2323 01:42:00,186 --> 01:42:01,421 -Jess? -Yeah, it works. 2324 01:42:01,521 --> 01:42:04,257 Any cultural differences will make for good comedy. 2325 01:42:04,357 --> 01:42:05,492 Am I right, Jess? 2326 01:42:05,558 --> 01:42:07,160 You're not wrong. 2327 01:42:07,227 --> 01:42:08,862 Now, I don't want to take another meeting like this 2328 01:42:08,928 --> 01:42:10,930 'cause I don't know how many more people will fit around the table. 2329 01:42:11,310 --> 01:42:13,199 My position is not gonna change. 2330 01:42:13,266 --> 01:42:14,701 You want me on television? 2331 01:42:14,768 --> 01:42:17,270 There is only one television show that I'm willing to do. 2332 01:42:17,337 --> 01:42:20,730 So, what's it gonna be? 2333 01:42:21,141 --> 01:42:22,742 (sighs softly) 2334 01:42:23,810 --> 01:42:26,980 (band playing I Love Lucy theme) 2335 01:42:33,520 --> 01:42:34,921 (lively chatter) 2336 01:42:46,800 --> 01:42:48,201 All right, holding. Get Des. 2337 01:42:53,773 --> 01:42:56,643 -(music ends) -(applause) 2338 01:42:56,743 --> 01:42:58,678 (applause continues in distance) 2339 01:42:59,779 --> 01:43:01,214 We think it's about 15 minutes. 2340 01:43:02,315 --> 01:43:03,817 -You think? -We're holding for something. 2341 01:43:03,883 --> 01:43:06,653 -I'm not sure what. -Okay, thanks. 2342 01:43:06,720 --> 01:43:08,154 Holding? 2343 01:43:09,356 --> 01:43:10,523 (knocking) 2344 01:43:10,590 --> 01:43:12,592 Yeah, come in. 2345 01:43:13,660 --> 01:43:15,261 (sighs) 2346 01:43:16,796 --> 01:43:19,132 -Can I have a second? -Sure. 2347 01:43:20,100 --> 01:43:22,102 -(footsteps receding) -(band playing in distance) 2348 01:43:23,603 --> 01:43:25,305 I think I know why you want to see me. 2349 01:43:25,405 --> 01:43:27,474 -Do you? -Hear me out. 2350 01:43:27,574 --> 01:43:28,675 I asked you to do me a favor, Jess. 2351 01:43:28,775 --> 01:43:30,677 -I asked you to give him an E.P. credit. -Mm-hmm. 2352 01:43:30,777 --> 01:43:34,514 Instead, you tried to convince him he was the title character or some bullshit. 2353 01:43:34,614 --> 01:43:35,648 What the hell was that?! 2354 01:43:35,715 --> 01:43:37,500 -I'm sorry if he was insulted. -(sighs) 2355 01:43:37,150 --> 01:43:38,685 I mean, I know he's insulted, so I'm sorry. 2356 01:43:38,785 --> 01:43:41,187 He wasn't insulted. He was laughing about it. 2357 01:43:41,254 --> 01:43:42,822 But, yeah, he's insulted. 2358 01:43:42,889 --> 01:43:44,491 No, he's offended. I'm insulted. 2359 01:43:44,557 --> 01:43:47,727 -I asked you to do me a small favor. -Yeah. 2360 01:43:47,794 --> 01:43:49,696 And it's not like you don't owe me a couple. 2361 01:43:49,763 --> 01:43:51,865 (sighs) 2362 01:43:51,931 --> 01:43:53,933 It wasn't a small favor. 2363 01:43:54,340 --> 01:43:55,802 And I don't know what you think I owe you. 2364 01:43:55,902 --> 01:43:57,637 -Really? -It wasn't a small favor. 2365 01:43:57,737 --> 01:44:00,507 -You asked me to save your marriage. -No, I… 2366 01:44:00,607 --> 01:44:02,609 And-and it's not the first time you've asked me to do that, is it? 2367 01:44:02,676 --> 01:44:05,478 I asked you to give him an E.P. credit, that's all. 2368 01:44:05,545 --> 01:44:07,681 Oh, no problem. Can my wife play Lucy once in a while? 2369 01:44:07,781 --> 01:44:09,516 If your wife played Lucy once in a while, 2370 01:44:09,616 --> 01:44:12,218 I would think it appropriate she be so credited. 2371 01:44:12,318 --> 01:44:13,853 And what do you mean it's not the first time 2372 01:44:13,920 --> 01:44:15,889 -I asked you to save my marriage? -(scoffs) 2373 01:44:15,989 --> 01:44:17,657 (imitating Lucille): “Jess, Jess, we'll have Desi play my husband. 2374 01:44:17,724 --> 01:44:19,859 -It'll save my marriage.” -Was that supposed to be me? 2375 01:44:19,926 --> 01:44:21,361 -Yeah, yeah. -Don't do voices. 2376 01:44:21,428 --> 01:44:23,363 Oh, are you insulted? Desi's offended? 2377 01:44:23,430 --> 01:44:26,132 You asked me to give away my job title like it was a parking spot! 2378 01:44:26,232 --> 01:44:27,467 You're right. 2379 01:44:27,567 --> 01:44:28,968 -I'm sorry! -Jesus Christ, Lucy! 2380 01:44:29,690 --> 01:44:30,904 Sometimes I think that you… 2381 01:44:33,907 --> 01:44:35,108 Wait, what? 2382 01:44:36,676 --> 01:44:38,378 You're right. I'm sorry. 2383 01:44:38,478 --> 01:44:39,646 I was dead wrong. 2384 01:44:39,713 --> 01:44:41,948 I wasn't expecting that. 2385 01:44:42,150 --> 01:44:43,516 -I know. -Have you ever said that to me before? 2386 01:44:43,616 --> 01:44:45,518 I doubt it, but… 2387 01:44:45,618 --> 01:44:48,540 I've thought it, if that means anything. 2388 01:44:48,154 --> 01:44:49,989 It does. 2389 01:44:50,990 --> 01:44:54,160 It's just been a compound fracture of a week. 2390 01:44:56,129 --> 01:44:57,764 Hey. 2391 01:44:57,864 --> 01:44:59,899 -Why are we holding? -I'm not sure. 2392 01:44:59,966 --> 01:45:01,468 We're holding. Someone has to know why. 2393 01:45:01,568 --> 01:45:03,503 -He's-he's coming. -(knocking) 2394 01:45:03,603 --> 01:45:05,905 -(sighs) -Come in. 2395 01:45:05,972 --> 01:45:07,741 Desi's asking to see you in his office. 2396 01:45:08,808 --> 01:45:10,844 -You mean in his dressing room? -No, he's in his office 2397 01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:13,346 with some CBS executives and some men from Philip Morris. 2398 01:45:16,149 --> 01:45:17,851 Why is he in his office at showtime? 2399 01:45:20,253 --> 01:45:22,522 ♪ ♪ 2400 01:45:24,391 --> 01:45:27,160 The evening editions just came out. 2401 01:45:31,970 --> 01:45:32,532 Listen to me. 2402 01:45:32,599 --> 01:45:34,267 Memorize this. 2403 01:45:34,367 --> 01:45:36,302 “It's none of your ****ing business.” 2404 01:45:40,473 --> 01:45:41,574 There. 2405 01:45:41,641 --> 01:45:44,440 Let that be the best thing I ever wrote. 2406 01:45:50,684 --> 01:45:51,885 Nah. 2407 01:45:51,985 --> 01:45:53,687 It's still “Vitameatavegamin.” 2408 01:45:56,756 --> 01:45:58,224 (sighs) 2409 01:46:01,461 --> 01:46:03,463 (hushed chatter) 2410 01:46:07,670 --> 01:46:08,468 (chatter quiets) 2411 01:46:12,138 --> 01:46:13,306 (clears throat) 2412 01:46:15,408 --> 01:46:16,810 DESI: The evening edition. 2413 01:46:21,648 --> 01:46:23,490 -It's all right. -(sighs) 2414 01:46:23,149 --> 01:46:24,551 It's all right. 2415 01:46:25,852 --> 01:46:26,853 (exhales sharply) 2416 01:46:26,920 --> 01:46:28,755 It's in four-inch type. 2417 01:46:28,855 --> 01:46:30,857 I'm gonna fix this. 2418 01:46:30,924 --> 01:46:32,258 That's Hindenburg type. 2419 01:46:32,359 --> 01:46:34,294 I've already made the calls. 2420 01:46:34,394 --> 01:46:36,196 -And they used red ink. -Yeah. 2421 01:46:36,262 --> 01:46:38,698 I didn't even know newspapers had red ink. 2422 01:46:38,765 --> 01:46:40,100 I guess they do. 2423 01:46:40,200 --> 01:46:42,469 I was cleared. 2424 01:46:42,569 --> 01:46:45,805 Somehow, the city editor, a woman named Agness Underwood, 2425 01:46:45,905 --> 01:46:50,643 has a photostatic copy of the affidavit showing you registered in 1936 2426 01:46:50,744 --> 01:46:53,130 as a voter intending to affiliate with the Communist Party. 2427 01:46:53,113 --> 01:46:54,280 But I was cleared. 2428 01:46:54,347 --> 01:46:56,316 After the testimony, they stamped “canceled” on the card, 2429 01:46:56,383 --> 01:46:57,450 and I saw the card. 2430 01:46:57,517 --> 01:46:59,520 Other papers are showing the canceled card. 2431 01:46:59,152 --> 01:47:02,220 They're running a caption that says, “Note the cancellation at left.” 2432 01:47:02,880 --> 01:47:06,393 But the Herald-Express took the word “canceled” out of the document altogether. 2433 01:47:06,493 --> 01:47:07,861 Other papers? 2434 01:47:07,927 --> 01:47:10,930 Yes, yes, but I've-I've made calls and we are taking care of this. 2435 01:47:11,310 --> 01:47:13,660 -We– Eh? -Calls to who? 2436 01:47:13,133 --> 01:47:15,101 Every reporter within 20 minutes of this soundstage. 2437 01:47:15,201 --> 01:47:16,269 That's why we're holding. 2438 01:47:16,336 --> 01:47:18,505 -You're saying reporters are coming here? -Yeah. 2439 01:47:18,605 --> 01:47:20,674 We'll seat them in the back of the bleachers. 2440 01:47:20,774 --> 01:47:22,809 You think we're still filming a show? 2441 01:47:22,909 --> 01:47:25,278 Why are none of you talking? 2442 01:47:25,345 --> 01:47:26,780 Desi has an idea. 2443 01:47:26,846 --> 01:47:31,117 I'm going to warm up the audience the way I always do, 2444 01:47:31,184 --> 01:47:34,921 except instead of “Cuban Pete” and the joke about the turtle, 2445 01:47:35,210 --> 01:47:37,157 I'm going to tell them what happened. 2446 01:47:37,223 --> 01:47:40,560 I'm going to explain that you checked the wrong box, 2447 01:47:40,660 --> 01:47:43,563 I'm going to show them the canceled document, 2448 01:47:43,630 --> 01:47:46,320 and then I'm going to bring you out 2449 01:47:46,990 --> 01:47:48,768 so the press sees them give you a round of applause. 2450 01:47:48,868 --> 01:47:49,936 Yes. 2451 01:47:50,937 --> 01:47:52,138 Hmm? 2452 01:47:53,506 --> 01:47:55,475 Fellas, can we, um… 2453 01:47:55,575 --> 01:47:57,644 have the room for just a moment? 2454 01:48:10,890 --> 01:48:14,794 You're not telling these people that I checked the wrong box. 2455 01:48:14,894 --> 01:48:16,896 This is a critical moment, Lucy. 2456 01:48:16,963 --> 01:48:18,898 -If I'm gonna die… -You're not. 2457 01:48:18,965 --> 01:48:20,800 …I would rather die standing up. 2458 01:48:20,900 --> 01:48:22,202 (scoffs) I don't have any idea what that is suppo… 2459 01:48:22,268 --> 01:48:24,700 I'm not an idiot. I didn't check the wrong box. 2460 01:48:24,137 --> 01:48:25,138 You saw the headline. 2461 01:48:25,238 --> 01:48:28,108 -You can see the headline from outer space. -Then please… 2462 01:48:28,174 --> 01:48:31,211 Grandpa Fred raised me from when I was age four. 2463 01:48:31,311 --> 01:48:34,381 He cared about the little guy. He cared about workers' rights. 2464 01:48:34,481 --> 01:48:37,283 It was a tribute to him, and to say that I checked the wrong… 2465 01:48:37,350 --> 01:48:38,718 Grandpa Fred, Grandpa Fred. 2466 01:48:38,818 --> 01:48:41,721 Grandpa Fred was wrong, Lucy! 2467 01:48:41,821 --> 01:48:45,358 Yes, he didn't tell you the part where they throw your father in prison 2468 01:48:45,425 --> 01:48:47,560 for the crime of being the mayor of a city. 2469 01:48:47,660 --> 01:48:51,931 I was chased to this country, Lucy! 2470 01:48:52,320 --> 01:48:54,100 Believe me, you checked the wrong box! 2471 01:48:57,700 --> 01:48:58,605 And if they don't applaud? 2472 01:49:00,240 --> 01:49:02,942 They will. And the press will write that they did. 2473 01:49:05,478 --> 01:49:07,814 You're gonna tell them I was accused of… 2474 01:49:07,881 --> 01:49:10,350 They're going to read it in the morning anyway. 2475 01:49:10,450 --> 01:49:14,154 We have a sample population of 200 people on our stage, so… 2476 01:49:14,220 --> 01:49:15,822 Miss Rosen! 2477 01:49:15,889 --> 01:49:17,891 If they boo me? 2478 01:49:19,259 --> 01:49:20,927 If they boo you… 2479 01:49:23,263 --> 01:49:25,231 …then we're done. 2480 01:49:25,298 --> 01:49:27,534 -Here, tonight. -(door opens) 2481 01:49:35,800 --> 01:49:36,643 Call this man. 2482 01:49:38,111 --> 01:49:40,847 Tell them it's for me. 2483 01:49:40,947 --> 01:49:42,282 They'll find him. 2484 01:49:42,349 --> 01:49:44,517 He's expecting my call. 2485 01:49:44,617 --> 01:49:46,860 Tell me when you have him. 2486 01:49:46,186 --> 01:49:47,587 ROSEN: Yes, sir. 2487 01:49:48,922 --> 01:49:50,323 (door closes) 2488 01:49:55,195 --> 01:49:57,197 (rumba music playing faintly) 2489 01:49:59,132 --> 01:50:01,134 (music continues inside) 2490 01:50:05,772 --> 01:50:08,174 Someone said they spotted you going out here. 2491 01:50:09,342 --> 01:50:11,110 (sighs) 2492 01:50:13,947 --> 01:50:15,148 I was just told. 2493 01:50:15,215 --> 01:50:16,516 (sighs) 2494 01:50:16,616 --> 01:50:19,586 Jesus, Lulu. Four-inch type? 2495 01:50:19,686 --> 01:50:21,321 Red ink. 2496 01:50:24,190 --> 01:50:25,892 I shouldn't have piled on this week. 2497 01:50:25,992 --> 01:50:27,394 It just… 2498 01:50:28,528 --> 01:50:29,863 What? 2499 01:50:30,864 --> 01:50:33,660 None of that matters right now. 2500 01:50:35,668 --> 01:50:37,437 May be the last time we're out here. 2501 01:50:37,504 --> 01:50:39,305 Say it. 2502 01:50:39,406 --> 01:50:41,700 (sighs) 2503 01:50:43,576 --> 01:50:46,946 Lucy Ricardo is married to a man six years younger than she is, 2504 01:50:47,130 --> 01:50:50,316 and Ethel is married to her grandfather, and it's understood, 2505 01:50:50,383 --> 01:50:53,219 as the underlying premise for a running joke, 2506 01:50:53,319 --> 01:50:55,588 that I'm not pretty enough for him. 2507 01:50:55,689 --> 01:50:56,890 (clicks tongue) 2508 01:50:58,425 --> 01:51:00,593 It got to me. 2509 01:51:00,694 --> 01:51:02,429 And at the world's worst time. 2510 01:51:09,836 --> 01:51:11,938 That was a knockout dress. 2511 01:51:13,600 --> 01:51:15,241 (chuckles) 2512 01:51:15,308 --> 01:51:17,677 Oh. You two want to be alone out here? 2513 01:51:17,777 --> 01:51:18,945 -No. -Yes. 2514 01:51:19,120 --> 01:51:20,847 (Madelyn chuckles) 2515 01:51:24,484 --> 01:51:26,520 (Madelyn sighs) 2516 01:51:28,355 --> 01:51:29,989 You're my hero. 2517 01:51:31,925 --> 01:51:33,860 I care about what works, Maddie. 2518 01:51:33,927 --> 01:51:35,695 ♪ ♪ 2519 01:51:35,762 --> 01:51:38,398 I care about what's funny. 2520 01:51:38,465 --> 01:51:43,770 I don't see myself caring about a woman's perspective from a new generation. 2521 01:51:43,837 --> 01:51:45,839 I care about you. 2522 01:51:49,142 --> 01:51:50,944 I'd love for someone to bring me breakfast. 2523 01:51:51,110 --> 01:51:54,614 -That's not what we were talking about. -(chuckles) 2524 01:51:54,681 --> 01:51:57,450 Doesn't a P.A. bring you breakfast every day? 2525 01:51:57,517 --> 01:51:59,185 -Yes. -Okay. 2526 01:51:59,285 --> 01:52:00,854 Never French toast. 2527 01:52:00,920 --> 01:52:03,223 -We'll look into that. -I came out here 2528 01:52:03,323 --> 01:52:08,610 to try to distract you with nonsense, but I assume these two beat me to it. 2529 01:52:08,128 --> 01:52:11,731 Viv doesn't like the jokes about Ethel being unappealing. 2530 01:52:11,798 --> 01:52:14,901 Yeah, there's no one within the sound of her voice who doesn't know that. 2531 01:52:14,968 --> 01:52:17,437 I said what I felt. 2532 01:52:17,504 --> 01:52:20,807 You've been saying what you felt since the first day of work. 2533 01:52:20,907 --> 01:52:23,777 It's not like you've suddenly given voice to your feelings. 2534 01:52:26,212 --> 01:52:27,447 You know what? 2535 01:52:29,783 --> 01:52:31,484 Sweet ladies? 2536 01:52:34,521 --> 01:52:36,856 Something dies inside a man… 2537 01:52:38,191 --> 01:52:41,227 …it just dies… 2538 01:52:42,362 --> 01:52:45,732 …the first time he hears a girl call him old. 2539 01:52:49,335 --> 01:52:54,641 So on the subject of Jess, Bob and Madelyn writing Ethel jokes, 2540 01:52:54,741 --> 01:52:56,443 I'm indifferent. 2541 01:52:56,509 --> 01:52:59,512 (groans) You two… 2542 01:53:02,349 --> 01:53:04,484 …are good actors. 2543 01:53:07,220 --> 01:53:09,222 It's a privilege doing this show with you. 2544 01:53:09,322 --> 01:53:11,224 Now you're scaring the shit out of me. 2545 01:53:11,324 --> 01:53:12,392 I was just gonna say. 2546 01:53:12,492 --> 01:53:14,361 LUCILLE: Desi's gonna tell the audience. 2547 01:53:14,427 --> 01:53:15,628 He's invited press. 2548 01:53:15,729 --> 01:53:18,640 He's betting that the audience will accept the truth, 2549 01:53:18,131 --> 01:53:20,567 give their approval, and the press will write about it. 2550 01:53:27,173 --> 01:53:28,808 I'd take the other side of that bet. 2551 01:53:28,908 --> 01:53:29,909 -(door opens) -P.A.: Excuse me. 2552 01:53:29,976 --> 01:53:31,945 Sorry. Mr. Arnaz is ready to do the warm-up. 2553 01:53:32,120 --> 01:53:34,514 Uh, they told me you wanted to know. 2554 01:53:34,614 --> 01:53:36,160 LUCILLE: Thank you. 2555 01:53:39,552 --> 01:53:41,421 All right. (clears throat) 2556 01:53:43,890 --> 01:53:45,825 See you out there. 2557 01:53:49,429 --> 01:53:51,598 -Good show. -Good show. 2558 01:53:51,698 --> 01:53:52,932 WILLIAM: Good show. 2559 01:53:56,403 --> 01:53:57,737 Luce. 2560 01:53:59,606 --> 01:54:03,410 The dinner scene is inarguably better. 2561 01:54:06,346 --> 01:54:08,348 (band playing lively music) 2562 01:54:09,616 --> 01:54:11,618 (music continues) 2563 01:54:14,821 --> 01:54:16,723 (indistinct chatter) 2564 01:54:25,732 --> 01:54:27,367 (music ends) 2565 01:54:27,434 --> 01:54:30,136 Now, ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome 2566 01:54:30,236 --> 01:54:32,839 to one of the stars of I Love Lucy. 2567 01:54:32,939 --> 01:54:35,141 -You know him as Ricky Ricardo. -(women gasping) 2568 01:54:35,241 --> 01:54:37,344 Here's Desi Arnaz! 2569 01:54:37,444 --> 01:54:39,346 -(applause) -(band plays bright riff) 2570 01:54:39,446 --> 01:54:40,780 Thank you. 2571 01:54:40,847 --> 01:54:42,148 Oh, thank you. 2572 01:54:42,215 --> 01:54:44,684 (people shouting “Desi!") 2573 01:54:44,784 --> 01:54:47,687 Thank you. Thank you. 2574 01:54:47,754 --> 01:54:50,256 Thank you very much. (sighs) 2575 01:54:50,357 --> 01:54:53,930 Usually, right now, I'd be doing the final audience warm-up. 2576 01:54:53,193 --> 01:54:54,594 I'd tell you an old joke about a turtle. 2577 01:54:54,694 --> 01:54:56,429 -(laughter) -And I'd point out 2578 01:54:56,529 --> 01:54:59,532 our groundbreaking camera system that allows the studio audience 2579 01:54:59,599 --> 01:55:04,637 to watch the show unobstructed and introduce you to the rest of the cast. 2580 01:55:04,738 --> 01:55:08,241 I'm not doing that tonight, and here's why. 2581 01:55:08,308 --> 01:55:12,679 Last week, my wife, Lucille Ball, 2582 01:55:12,779 --> 01:55:15,815 was asked to testify in front of a closed session 2583 01:55:15,882 --> 01:55:19,285 of the House Un-American Activities Committee. 2584 01:55:19,352 --> 01:55:20,854 (audience murmuring) 2585 01:55:20,920 --> 01:55:24,257 Yes, the congressmen who investigate Communism. 2586 01:55:25,358 --> 01:55:30,196 After hours of testimony, the committee concluded unambiguously 2587 01:55:30,263 --> 01:55:34,768 that Lucy was and is in no way involved with the Communist Party. 2588 01:55:34,868 --> 01:55:37,137 So everything's swell, right? 2589 01:55:37,237 --> 01:55:39,720 No. 2590 01:55:39,139 --> 01:55:43,243 Because this is the evening edition headline in the Herald-Express. 2591 01:55:45,211 --> 01:55:46,980 (audience gasping, murmuring) 2592 01:55:51,217 --> 01:55:53,720 ♪ ♪ 2593 01:55:58,725 --> 01:56:00,930 So… (clears throat) 2594 01:56:00,193 --> 01:56:01,861 I made some phone calls. 2595 01:56:01,928 --> 01:56:04,300 I called the editor of the Herald-Express. 2596 01:56:04,970 --> 01:56:06,566 I called the chairman of the committee. 2597 01:56:06,633 --> 01:56:09,536 I called all the members of the committee. 2598 01:56:09,602 --> 01:56:12,772 And I made one more call to someone, and I believe he's still on the line. 2599 01:56:12,839 --> 01:56:13,840 Thank you. 2600 01:56:15,241 --> 01:56:16,810 Are you still with me, sir? 2601 01:56:16,910 --> 01:56:18,845 MAN (on phone, amplified): Yes. 2602 01:56:18,945 --> 01:56:22,282 I'm now standing in front of a studio audience in Hollywood, California, 2603 01:56:22,349 --> 01:56:25,185 and we are joined by a number of members of the press. 2604 01:56:25,285 --> 01:56:26,319 MAN: That's fine. 2605 01:56:28,421 --> 01:56:32,926 We want to know, sir, does the FBI have any case against Lucy? 2606 01:56:33,260 --> 01:56:37,564 Does the FBI have any evidence of wrongdoing? 2607 01:56:37,630 --> 01:56:43,770 Does the FBI have any reason to believe that Lucille Ball is a Communist? 2608 01:56:43,837 --> 01:56:45,805 No. Absolutely nothing. 2609 01:56:45,905 --> 01:56:48,742 -She's 100% clear. -(audience murmuring) 2610 01:56:48,808 --> 01:56:50,243 Thank you, sir. One more question. 2611 01:56:50,310 --> 01:56:51,878 Will you tell us your name please? 2612 01:56:51,978 --> 01:56:53,847 This is J. Edgar Hoover. 2613 01:56:53,947 --> 01:56:55,315 -(audience gasping) -DESI: Thank you, sir. 2614 01:56:55,382 --> 01:56:56,716 Enjoy your evening. 2615 01:56:56,816 --> 01:56:58,818 (applause) 2616 01:57:03,857 --> 01:57:07,260 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my wife 2617 01:57:07,360 --> 01:57:09,863 and the star of I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball! 2618 01:57:09,929 --> 01:57:11,931 (audience cheering) 2619 01:57:12,320 --> 01:57:14,670 ♪ ♪ 2620 01:57:30,817 --> 01:57:33,186 (cheering continues) 2621 01:57:44,970 --> 01:57:46,990 So enjoy the show! 2622 01:57:47,534 --> 01:57:49,302 -(band playing I Love Lucy theme) -(applause) 2623 01:57:58,812 --> 01:58:01,214 -(sighing) -(music, applause continue in distance) 2624 01:58:01,314 --> 01:58:02,949 (footsteps approaching) 2625 01:58:04,150 --> 01:58:05,485 It's all over! 2626 01:58:05,552 --> 01:58:06,586 Thank you. 2627 01:58:06,686 --> 01:58:08,421 -It's over now. -Thank you. 2628 01:58:08,521 --> 01:58:09,589 They love you. 2629 01:58:09,689 --> 01:58:11,858 I love you. 2630 01:58:11,925 --> 01:58:14,861 No one's gonna mess with you ever, Lucy. 2631 01:58:14,928 --> 01:58:16,863 I thought they were gonna boo. 2632 01:58:16,930 --> 01:58:18,798 (laughs) You want to do a show? 2633 01:58:18,898 --> 01:58:20,400 Have you been cheating on me? 2634 01:58:21,468 --> 01:58:23,837 -What? -Have you been cheating on me? 2635 01:58:23,937 --> 01:58:25,772 -(laughs) Is this a bit? -No. 2636 01:58:26,840 --> 01:58:27,941 No, I haven't been. 2637 01:58:28,800 --> 01:58:30,477 When you stay out all night, you're on the boat playing cards? 2638 01:58:30,577 --> 01:58:32,345 -Yes. -You haven't been with anybody else? 2639 01:58:32,445 --> 01:58:34,948 -What's going on with you, honey? -Don't gaslight me. 2640 01:58:35,150 --> 01:58:36,149 Where did this come from? 2641 01:58:36,216 --> 01:58:38,218 I mean, they just cheered for you out there. 2642 01:58:38,318 --> 01:58:39,719 They got it right, didn't they? 2643 01:58:39,819 --> 01:58:42,889 -Lucy… -They only got the picture wrong. 2644 01:58:42,989 --> 01:58:44,924 -Luc… -Did they get it right? 2645 01:58:45,250 --> 01:58:46,860 -Lucy… -Did they get it exactly right? 2646 01:58:46,926 --> 01:58:51,297 Jesus Christ, I just proved out there that the Herald-Express got it wrong. 2647 01:58:51,398 --> 01:58:53,800 You think Confidential magazine– 2648 01:58:53,900 --> 01:58:56,169 Conf– We're about to do a show. 2649 01:58:56,269 --> 01:58:57,737 -(whispers): Just tell me. -Tell me why you think– 2650 01:58:57,804 --> 01:59:00,807 other than that garbage– 2651 01:59:00,907 --> 01:59:03,410 tell me why you think I've cheated on you. 2652 01:59:06,813 --> 01:59:09,482 That is your lipstick. 2653 01:59:09,549 --> 01:59:12,385 Remember? You kissed me at the beginning of the week, 2654 01:59:12,485 --> 01:59:14,721 and then took my handkerchief and wiped the lipstick off 2655 01:59:14,821 --> 01:59:16,890 and put it back in my pocket. 2656 01:59:16,189 --> 01:59:17,557 And you said you'd never done that before. 2657 01:59:17,657 --> 01:59:18,725 I hadn't. 2658 01:59:18,825 --> 01:59:20,493 Then what the hell are we talking about? 2659 01:59:22,128 --> 01:59:24,431 This is my lipstick. 2660 01:59:24,531 --> 01:59:25,699 (chuckles softly) 2661 01:59:25,765 --> 01:59:27,767 ♪ ♪ 2662 01:59:39,446 --> 01:59:41,848 They were just call girls. 2663 01:59:41,948 --> 01:59:43,316 Hmm. 2664 01:59:45,852 --> 01:59:47,153 They're hookers. 2665 01:59:47,220 --> 01:59:48,655 (exhales heavily) 2666 01:59:54,194 --> 01:59:56,262 It doesn't mean anything, Lucy. 2667 01:59:57,263 --> 01:59:59,466 -Look, Lucy, it doesn't mean… -Mm. 2668 01:59:59,566 --> 02:00:01,340 Let's do the show. Yeah? 2669 02:00:01,101 --> 02:00:02,769 Let's just forget about this for a half hour. 2670 02:00:02,836 --> 02:00:04,137 Yeah? Let's do the show. 2671 02:00:04,237 --> 02:00:06,773 Jim, let's go! 2672 02:00:06,840 --> 02:00:09,442 -It's not gonna get better than this. -Copy that. 2673 02:00:09,509 --> 02:00:11,711 -All right, everybody! -Let's do a show! 2674 02:00:11,811 --> 02:00:13,680 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: This is places for scene “A”! 2675 02:00:13,780 --> 02:00:15,448 -MAN 1: Scene “A”! -MAN 2: Scene “A,” places! 2676 02:00:15,515 --> 02:00:17,550 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Okay, positions, everyone. 2677 02:00:17,650 --> 02:00:19,152 -Cameras up. -Cameras up. 2678 02:00:19,219 --> 02:00:20,553 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Quiet on set. Bell! 2679 02:00:20,653 --> 02:00:21,654 (soundstage bell rings) 2680 02:00:21,721 --> 02:00:23,560 -Quiet please! -Quiet please! 2681 02:00:23,156 --> 02:00:24,491 Picture's up! 2682 02:00:24,557 --> 02:00:26,359 -Picture's up. -Quiet, everyone! 2683 02:00:26,426 --> 02:00:28,428 -Let's roll sound. -Rolling! -Rolling! 2684 02:00:28,528 --> 02:00:29,796 -Sound speed. -And mark. 2685 02:00:29,896 --> 02:00:31,798 -Speed mark. -Dolly. 2686 02:00:31,898 --> 02:00:34,670 Settle. And action. 2687 02:00:35,135 --> 02:00:37,237 OLDER MADELYN: It ended up being a good show that night. 2688 02:00:37,303 --> 02:00:40,240 We did both versions of the opening, 2689 02:00:40,306 --> 02:00:42,509 but it was the original version that made it on the air, 2690 02:00:42,609 --> 02:00:43,810 the one with all the names. 2691 02:00:43,910 --> 02:00:47,280 You must've gotten a copy of the “B” negative, 2692 02:00:47,347 --> 02:00:48,848 'cause your original question was… 2693 02:00:48,948 --> 02:00:51,785 For the record, I won my bet with Desi. 2694 02:00:51,851 --> 02:00:54,220 CBS wouldn't let us use the word “pregnant.” 2695 02:00:55,822 --> 02:00:57,657 But more people watched the birth of Little Ricky 2696 02:00:57,724 --> 02:01:00,927 than had ever watched a television program before. 2697 02:01:02,950 --> 02:01:03,363 Your original question? 2698 02:01:03,430 --> 02:01:06,733 You asked about why Lucy stopped when we were doing the alt. 2699 02:01:06,800 --> 02:01:07,967 The alternate version. 2700 02:01:08,680 --> 02:01:11,104 We were doing Lucy's version of Ricky's entrance first. 2701 02:01:11,171 --> 02:01:12,806 She was doing the bit with the flowers, 2702 02:01:12,906 --> 02:01:15,475 which we couldn't use 'cause we were running long. 2703 02:01:17,777 --> 02:01:20,513 (audience laughter) 2704 02:01:24,500 --> 02:01:28,880 She takes a pitcher and pours water into the vase… 2705 02:01:28,188 --> 02:01:30,890 Which makes all the flowers come up to the surface. 2706 02:01:34,194 --> 02:01:36,363 (audience laughter) 2707 02:01:40,367 --> 02:01:43,770 It seemed like she just got lost in her own head for a second. 2708 02:01:43,837 --> 02:01:45,605 I can't remember what her cue was. 2709 02:01:45,672 --> 02:01:48,308 It may have been the only time she ever went up on a line. 2710 02:01:48,408 --> 02:01:51,344 I can't remember the first line, but we… 2711 02:01:51,444 --> 02:01:52,846 we had to stop and go again. 2712 02:01:52,946 --> 02:01:54,948 It was Desi's line. 2713 02:01:55,150 --> 02:01:56,783 It was the new bit Lucy put in. 2714 02:01:57,984 --> 02:01:59,419 (chuckles): What was his line? 2715 02:01:59,519 --> 02:02:03,230 Lucy, I'm home! 2716 02:02:03,890 --> 02:02:05,910 (audience laughter) 2717 02:02:08,610 --> 02:02:10,630 ♪ ♪ 2718 02:02:27,714 --> 02:02:28,948 (chuckles softly) 2719 02:02:31,718 --> 02:02:32,919 Sorry. 2720 02:02:33,190 --> 02:02:34,688 -I got lost for a second. -(audience chuckles) 2721 02:02:34,754 --> 02:02:36,189 DONALD: All right, let's cut and go again. 2722 02:02:36,256 --> 02:02:40,560 We never went back to do another take of the alternate opening. 2723 02:02:40,660 --> 02:02:42,796 Lucy just wanted to move on. 2724 02:02:42,896 --> 02:02:44,898 ♪ ♪ 2725 02:02:51,838 --> 02:02:53,840 (audience laughter) 2726 02:02:56,843 --> 02:02:58,978 -Oh! -Guess who it is. 2727 02:02:59,450 --> 02:03:01,781 Bill? Sam? 2728 02:03:01,848 --> 02:03:03,683 -Pat? -No. 2729 02:03:03,783 --> 02:03:07,354 -(audience laughter) -Pedro? Pablo? 2730 02:03:07,420 --> 02:03:08,588 Jose? 2731 02:03:08,688 --> 02:03:09,989 No, it's me. 2732 02:03:10,560 --> 02:03:12,559 -Ah, yes, of course. -(laughter continues) 2733 02:03:12,659 --> 02:03:15,428 -Uh… -Very, very funny. 2734 02:03:15,528 --> 02:03:17,931 -♪ ♪ -Hey, company for dinner? 2735 02:03:18,310 --> 02:03:19,320 Who is it? 2736 02:03:19,990 --> 02:03:21,101 How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 2737 02:03:21,201 --> 02:03:22,736 Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 2738 02:03:22,802 --> 02:03:25,438 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 2739 02:03:25,505 --> 02:03:28,475 -Lucy, who is it? -Some people. 2740 02:03:28,575 --> 02:03:30,577 ♪ ♪ 2741 02:03:47,260 --> 02:03:49,262 ♪ ♪ 2742 02:04:19,259 --> 02:04:21,261 ♪ ♪ 2743 02:04:51,257 --> 02:04:53,259 ♪ ♪ 2744 02:05:23,256 --> 02:05:25,258 ♪ ♪ 2745 02:05:50,183 --> 02:05:52,185 (music fades) 2746 02:05:52,285 --> 02:05:54,254 (“Cuban Pete” playing) 2747 02:05:58,224 --> 02:06:00,326 ♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪ 2748 02:06:00,393 --> 02:06:02,595 ♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪ 2749 02:06:02,696 --> 02:06:04,431 ♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪ 2750 02:06:04,531 --> 02:06:07,367 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2751 02:06:07,434 --> 02:06:09,536 ♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪ 2752 02:06:09,602 --> 02:06:11,771 ♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪ 2753 02:06:11,838 --> 02:06:13,606 ♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪ 2754 02:06:13,673 --> 02:06:16,443 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2755 02:06:16,509 --> 02:06:21,147 ♪ The señoritas, they sing and how they swing with this rumbero ♪ 2756 02:06:21,214 --> 02:06:23,183 ♪ It's very nice ♪ 2757 02:06:23,283 --> 02:06:25,652 ♪ So full of spice ♪ 2758 02:06:25,719 --> 02:06:27,870 ♪ And when they're dancing ♪ 2759 02:06:27,187 --> 02:06:30,190 ♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪ 2760 02:06:30,256 --> 02:06:32,592 ♪ Singing a song ♪ 2761 02:06:32,692 --> 02:06:34,761 ♪ All the day long ♪ 2762 02:06:34,861 --> 02:06:36,963 ♪ So if you like the beat ♪ 2763 02:06:37,630 --> 02:06:39,199 ♪ Take a lesson from Cuban Pete ♪ 2764 02:06:39,265 --> 02:06:41,101 ♪ And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom ♪ 2765 02:06:41,201 --> 02:06:43,803 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2766 02:06:43,903 --> 02:06:45,105 ♪ Sí, señorita ♪ 2767 02:06:45,171 --> 02:06:48,508 ♪ I know that you would like to chicky boom chick ♪ 2768 02:06:48,608 --> 02:06:50,744 ♪ Because it's the dance ♪ 2769 02:06:50,810 --> 02:06:52,946 ♪ Of Latin romance ♪ 2770 02:06:53,130 --> 02:06:57,650 ♪ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♪ 2771 02:06:57,717 --> 02:06:59,686 ♪ I come from Havana ♪ 2772 02:06:59,753 --> 02:07:02,322 ♪ And there's always mañana ♪ 2773 02:07:02,389 --> 02:07:04,424 ♪ So, señorita, please ♪ 2774 02:07:04,524 --> 02:07:06,693 ♪ Take it easy, do it with ease ♪ 2775 02:07:06,760 --> 02:07:08,428 ♪ And you'll love it when you do the chick ♪ 2776 02:07:08,528 --> 02:07:12,766 -♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. ♪ -(song ends) 2777 02:07:13,800 --> 02:07:15,802 ♪ ♪ 2778 02:07:45,265 --> 02:07:47,267 ♪ ♪ 2779 02:08:17,263 --> 02:08:19,265 ♪ ♪ 2780 02:08:49,262 --> 02:08:51,264 ♪ ♪ 2781 02:09:21,261 --> 02:09:23,263 ♪ ♪ 2782 02:09:53,259 --> 02:09:55,261 ♪ ♪ 2783 02:10:03,269 --> 02:10:05,271 (music fades)