1 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,174 [birds calling] 2 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,647 [seagulls crying] 3 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,986 ADULT SASHA (VOICEOVER): I struggle now to remember 4 00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,655 much of my childhood. 5 00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:25,291 It only comes back to me in small fragments, 6 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:29,829 and even those memories are hard to trust. 7 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,431 I do remember his maps. 8 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:38,238 It's true I spent most of my life being angry at him. 9 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:41,410 The older I get, the more I feel 10 00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:43,643 like I never even knew him at all. 11 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:47,247 My image of him now, I know, falls flat 12 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,749 compared to reality. 13 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,485 Thank you for your memories. 14 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,920 They're all I have now. 15 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,791 [children giggle, talking indistinctly] 16 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,492 [giggling] 17 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,194 CHILD: I have four pillows in my car. 18 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,763 [indistinct chatter] 19 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:06,766 [gentle classical music] 20 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:13,807 ♪ ♪ 21 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,623 [motor slows to a stop] 22 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,225 [vehicle door closes] 23 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:14,734 [vehicle doors closing] 24 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,344 MOTHER: Okay. 25 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:28,214 Boys, grab each one thing, and come with me in the house. 26 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,716 Now. 27 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:33,953 [both speaking Hungarian] 28 00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:36,523 FATHER: Jeremy, help me with the mattress, please. 29 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,361 Ah! 30 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:03,149 [insects chirping] 31 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,910 [device clicking] 32 00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:14,940 [music box playing light tune] 33 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:21,670 ♪ ♪ 34 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,700 SASHA: I am Miss Mousey. 35 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:28,410 [device clicking] 36 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:29,509 [camera shutter clicks] 37 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,946 Closing her eyes. 38 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,548 She's eating your leg. 39 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,321 [camera shutter clicks] 40 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,323 [Mother speaking Hungarian] 41 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,390 Mm-hmm. 42 00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:01,908 [children humming] 43 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,971 [children continue humming] 44 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,673 [laughing] 45 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,109 - [speaking Hungarian] 46 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:43,883 [door opens] SASHA: Mom, your car keys. 47 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,885 MOTHER: Oh, thank you. FELIX: Come on! 48 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,487 Get out of my way, come on! 49 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:51,725 MOTHER: Come. 50 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,727 [door closes] 51 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,863 [car doors open, close, engine turning over] 52 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,316 [child shouts] 53 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,987 [children giggling] 54 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,471 SASHA: "And eventually become an evergreen forest. 55 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:41,174 "The first plants to occupy a disturbed site 56 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,277 "are called pioneer species, the process of processing 57 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,312 into forest called succession." 58 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:50,183 [camera shutter clicking, film whirring] 59 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,593 [seagulls crying] 60 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,696 NARRATOR (ON TV): The heron has two methods of fishing, 61 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,310 either he waits for the prey to come to him, 62 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,801 or else he stalks it very carefully. 63 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,805 [seagulls continue crying] 64 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,808 [birds calling] 65 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,270 NARRATOR (ON TV): While one protects the nest, 66 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,605 the other fishes 67 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,407 to meet the daily increasing need for food. 68 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,209 [children speaking indistinctly] 69 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:52,712 As time passes, the ritual exchanges between adults 70 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,647 become less and less frequent, 71 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:57,684 and the strong bond between them begins to weaken. 72 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,652 By the time they finally leave the colony, 73 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:02,856 these bonds will have completely disappeared. 74 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:09,396 His flight path is sometimes obstructed by other birds. 75 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,197 The direction and force of the wind 76 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,633 can also prevent him from landing, 77 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,636 so he takes off again and tries a new approach. 78 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:17,904 [seagulls crying] 79 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:21,775 MOTHER: No, please, no touching! 80 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,843 NARRATOR (ON TV): The young herons have now reached 81 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,546 their full growth and are left on their own. 82 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:30,884 [heron squawking] 83 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,753 They find food either guided by their instinct 84 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,690 or by following the adults to the feeding grounds. 85 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:41,940 [seagulls crying] 86 00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:44,640 [car doors open] 87 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:49,269 [car doors close] 88 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,971 [engine turning over] 89 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,974 [cheerful music] 90 00:07:54,974 --> 00:08:02,150 ♪ ♪ 91 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,856 [children chattering indistinctly] 92 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,799 - Thank you. - Yeah. 93 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,935 - Come on, let's go. - Yeah. 94 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,272 EMMA: Let's go to my place first. 95 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,108 BECKY: I can't wait. 96 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:31,277 ASHLEY: Maybe you can ask your mom if we can go in the pool. 97 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,470 I would love to go in the pool. 98 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,850 We could borrow some of your swimsuits. 99 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,318 EMMA: Let's go. 100 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,886 Right over here. 101 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,760 [child giggles] 102 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,294 Did you do your dance? 103 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,263 SASHA: Yes, I did do my dance. 104 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,332 BECKY: I didn't see you! 105 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,666 I know. 106 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,735 EMMA: You have to do a dance before we do it. 107 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,237 ASHLEY: Make sure you do a dance. 108 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,806 EMMA: It's our tradition. [all shouting happily] 109 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:03,843 CHILD: Wait... [continues indistinctly] 110 00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,945 BECKY: Wait. She's right there. 111 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,327 [distant telephone ringing] 112 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,147 [object crunches] 113 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,718 [children whispering indistinctly] 114 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,486 [loud crash] 115 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,724 SASHA: You guys! [door swinging open] 116 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,959 Help. NEIGHBOR: Stay calm. 117 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,427 SASHA: Help. 118 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,630 NEIGHBOR: Here, grab a hold of this. Stay calm. 119 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:01,340 Here we go, here we go. Yeah, just hold on. 120 00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:03,236 Why did you do that, sweetheart? 121 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:11,211 - [humming] 122 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,681 [vehicle engine roaring] 123 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,684 [continues humming] 124 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:46,246 FATHER: He wants to upset me. He wants to upset you. 125 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,449 [Mother speaking Hungarian] 126 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,452 [Father speaking Hungarian] 127 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,250 MOTHER: He's--he's troubled, but he's not crazy. 128 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,326 FATHER: And-- 129 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,929 MOTHER: Crazy means something else. 130 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,799 I just don't want you to say something 131 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,133 like this about my son. 132 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:15,809 MOTHER: I mean, it's crazy to leave him like this. 133 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,477 FATHER: That's what they told us-- 134 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:20,800 don't react, just let him get bored of his own jokes. 135 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,820 [door closes] 136 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,120 Please check on him, please. 137 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,571 [door opens] 138 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,918 Is he still out there? 139 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,520 SASHA: Mm-hmm. 140 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:12,732 - What do you think about Jeremy--how he's behaving? 141 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,734 SASHA: I don't know. 142 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,307 MOTHER: Why do you think he's like this? 143 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,310 - I don't know, Mom. 144 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,120 FATHER: How did it go? 145 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,315 MOTHER: Why is your hair wet? 146 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:32,886 - We played in the sprinkler. 147 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:36,456 [phone ringing] 148 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,967 Um, yeah, we've seen him. 149 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,869 Yeah, he's just acting out. 150 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,160 No. No, I appreciate it. 151 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,984 [chuckles] 152 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,291 Um, yeah, yeah. 153 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,593 No, I'm--I'm with you. Yes, yeah. 154 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,798 MOTHER: Who was that? 155 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,100 FATHER: Jason, from across the street. 156 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,602 [sighs] He wanted to let us know 157 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,238 that our son is dead on the front step. 158 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,210 - I told him we are aware and not to worry. 159 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,811 He will come back to life soon. 160 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,614 [chuckles] 161 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,316 - Hmm. 162 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,832 [birds chirping] 163 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,836 [cereal rattles in bowl, liquid pouring] 164 00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,674 HENRY: I woke up at 6:47. 165 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:04,944 FELIX: Same, around maybe 7:00. 166 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:08,281 Did you know that in the ocean-- 167 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,483 you know a fun fact about dolphins? 168 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,951 Want to know a fun fact? 169 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,955 Sometimes dolphins will find a puffer fish and gang up on it 170 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:20,293 and bite onto it and then toss it around 171 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,295 like a football just to get high. 172 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,863 It's true. 173 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,168 [dishes clattering] 174 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,243 HENRY: Stop it. 175 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,479 - I don't want to watch you eat. 176 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:53,930 Boys, do you know where's your swimsuit? 177 00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:55,161 HENRY: I don't have one. 178 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,998 MOTHER: Okay, then you should wear these underwears, 179 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,134 so no one will notice anyways. 180 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,736 FELIX: Yeah. 181 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,910 - [speaking Hungarian] 182 00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:14,881 [door closes] 183 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,924 [thumping] 184 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:41,740 [thumping continues] 185 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,482 MOTHER: Sasha, come. 186 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,318 Let's go. 187 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,319 Bye. 188 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,323 [door closes] 189 00:15:57,323 --> 00:16:01,161 [thumping continues] 190 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,000 [ball bouncing, thumping continues] 191 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,909 Jeremy. 192 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,210 Come. 193 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,413 Jeremy. 194 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,985 Jeremy! 195 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,391 Jeremy, come! 196 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,562 Come with me now. 197 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,783 [car door closes] 198 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,585 Seat belts on. 199 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,865 [engine turning over] 200 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,868 [ball bouncing] 201 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,824 - You can't do it. It's too heavy, dude. 202 00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,525 It's, like, 50 pounds. 203 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,950 [child straining] 204 00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,230 HENRY: There's not a lot. FELIX: Let me see. 205 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,531 HENRY: Like, four. 206 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,533 FELIX: Oh, there's a decently big one right here. 207 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,335 Oh, he lost an arm. 208 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,700 SASHA: Aw, put him back! Put him back! 209 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,374 [waves crashing] 210 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,510 [seagulls crying] 211 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,513 [children chattering happily] 212 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,164 [children cheering] 213 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,103 SASHA: Don't. 214 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,170 [rock splashing] 215 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,744 [rock splashing] 216 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,216 [indistinct chatter] 217 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:10,276 [seagulls crying] 218 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,449 [insects chirping] 219 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,993 - Did he take the money I gave you? 220 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,798 Hmm? 221 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,340 HENRY: No. 222 00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:36,636 MOTHER: Come on, let's go to the car. 223 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,713 [thunder rumbling softly] 224 00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:52,452 [Sasha sighs] 225 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,488 [children chattering indistinctly] 226 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,596 SASHA: Where's Jeremy? 227 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,266 FELIX: Where's Mom? Where's Jeremy? 228 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,834 There's Mom. 229 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,845 [thunder rumbling] 230 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,485 [car door opens, beeping] 231 00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:33,126 [engine turning over] 232 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:36,296 CHILDREN: 704, 705, 706, 233 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:41,670 707, 708, 709... 234 00:21:41,670 --> 00:21:44,971 710, 711, 712, 235 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:49,309 713, 714, 715. 236 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:52,112 [vehicles passing by] 237 00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:55,115 [dramatic music] 238 00:21:55,115 --> 00:22:02,122 ♪ ♪ 239 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:06,326 MOTHER: Come. Come now. 240 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:13,333 ♪ ♪ 241 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,918 [car seat rattling] Stop it. 242 00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:34,554 Do you want me to crash? 243 00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:39,959 ♪ ♪ 244 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:42,362 [sighs] 245 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:44,364 - [slurps] 246 00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:51,371 ♪ ♪ 247 00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,814 - ♪ My friend ♪ 248 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:06,453 ♪ Don't just sit there and ruminate ♪ 249 00:23:06,453 --> 00:23:11,391 ♪ With your navel to contemplate ♪ 250 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:16,796 ♪ It's a beautiful day outside ♪ 251 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,799 ♪ Time's passing you by ♪ 252 00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:26,840 ♪ ♪ 253 00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:33,813 FELIX: Ah! 254 00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:36,349 HENRY: Here, Let me try. 255 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,154 Ah, damn. 256 00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:43,289 FELIX: It didn't even land over there. 257 00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:46,593 [gentle music] 258 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:49,629 HENRY: Oh, that was so close. 259 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:54,000 [indistinct chatter] 260 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,735 FELIX: Yeah, sure. 261 00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:58,438 Just don't sell me the sausages. 262 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,441 [keys clacking] 263 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:06,346 ♪ ♪ 264 00:24:06,346 --> 00:24:09,883 - Dad, where's Mom? 265 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,885 FATHER: She's at her appointment. 266 00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:14,754 - What kind of appointment? 267 00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:21,761 ♪ ♪ 268 00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,966 Dad, what kind of appointment? 269 00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:31,871 - Come, draw something for me. 270 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,879 Ta-da. 271 00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:42,820 Sit. 272 00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:45,850 - Yay. 273 00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:47,320 Ooh. 274 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,689 What's this do? 275 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,361 - Try. [mouse clicking] 276 00:24:54,361 --> 00:24:55,795 - [gasps] Wow. 277 00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:57,464 - That's nice. 278 00:25:00,367 --> 00:25:03,269 - Now, I need to-- 279 00:25:03,269 --> 00:25:05,205 FATHER: That one. 280 00:25:05,205 --> 00:25:07,730 It's going to be Miss Mousey. 281 00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:08,908 SASHA: Yeah. 282 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:11,244 FATHER: I know. 283 00:25:11,244 --> 00:25:13,713 SASHA: Ooh, that's big. FATHER: That's one ear. 284 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:18,318 Can move it back. 285 00:25:18,318 --> 00:25:22,655 SASHA: Oh. Wait, wait, I'll do the bucket. 286 00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,724 FATHER: Pull some way just a little. 287 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,920 SASHA: Oh, no! 288 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,667 HENRY: Yeah, and then this, you have to do it, like, slowly. 289 00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:36,703 And can you take this? 290 00:25:42,776 --> 00:25:44,244 A boat. 291 00:25:44,244 --> 00:25:45,278 FELIX: Yeah. 292 00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:50,383 There we go. 293 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:57,624 Yeah, dude. 294 00:25:57,624 --> 00:26:00,593 HENRY: Hey, mine has water. 295 00:26:00,593 --> 00:26:03,630 FELIX: Hey, blue boat is still alive. 296 00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:05,532 HENRY: And so are mine. 297 00:26:05,532 --> 00:26:07,600 FELIX: Looking kind of rough, though. 298 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,200 HENRY: Yeah. 299 00:26:11,171 --> 00:26:12,205 Look at this. 300 00:26:12,205 --> 00:26:13,673 FELIX: You want one? 301 00:26:13,673 --> 00:26:15,675 - No. 302 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:17,811 HENRY: You wish. 303 00:26:17,811 --> 00:26:20,814 [classical music] 304 00:26:20,814 --> 00:26:27,787 ♪ ♪ 305 00:26:27,787 --> 00:26:31,157 [indistinct chatter] 306 00:26:31,157 --> 00:26:34,160 [laughter] 307 00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:40,800 [camera shutter clicks, film whirs] 308 00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:50,477 ♪ ♪ 309 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,903 FATHER: Just try to find nice shapes. 310 00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:20,840 And focus on the arrangements, okay? 311 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,442 Mm-hmm. 312 00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:28,848 Nice so far, nice. 313 00:27:28,848 --> 00:27:32,252 Lesson number one, never do that. 314 00:27:32,252 --> 00:27:33,853 Henry. 315 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:39,359 Time, now. 316 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:46,366 ♪ ♪ 317 00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:51,471 SASHA: Who is that? 318 00:27:51,471 --> 00:27:53,239 HENRY: Wow. FELIX: Me. 319 00:27:53,239 --> 00:27:55,750 FATHER: Time is going backwards. 320 00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:57,677 It's a time warp. 321 00:27:57,677 --> 00:27:58,912 FELIX: Yeah. 322 00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,480 HENRY: It's awesome. 323 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,830 SASHA: That's really cool. Wow. 324 00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:18,131 FATHER: You spot instantly 325 00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:19,733 during this-- [knocking] 326 00:28:19,733 --> 00:28:24,371 Jeremy, can you put it in the fixer, please? 327 00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:26,373 [footsteps approaching] 328 00:28:26,373 --> 00:28:28,842 How did it go? - Hmm? 329 00:28:28,842 --> 00:28:30,844 FATHER: How did it go? 330 00:28:30,844 --> 00:28:32,512 - What do you mean? 331 00:28:32,512 --> 00:28:35,348 It was terrible, but what is this? 332 00:28:35,348 --> 00:28:37,917 What are you doing? 333 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:40,253 You're not working. 334 00:28:40,253 --> 00:28:43,256 Where is--where are the children? 335 00:28:43,256 --> 00:28:45,725 - I was showing them something in the darkroom. 336 00:28:58,710 --> 00:29:00,507 It seems like you don't really see 337 00:29:00,507 --> 00:29:03,943 that we are in a crisis somehow. 338 00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:06,312 FATHER: So... 339 00:29:06,312 --> 00:29:10,150 Badly, I guess. [Mother sighs] 340 00:29:10,150 --> 00:29:13,753 Did they have any advice this time? 341 00:29:13,753 --> 00:29:15,755 [Mother scoffs] 342 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,764 - You can listen to this whole thing. 343 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:28,968 - He let you record it? 344 00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:30,370 [button clicks] 345 00:29:30,370 --> 00:29:31,971 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): It's difficult. 346 00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:33,306 You're correct, yes. 347 00:29:33,306 --> 00:29:35,800 It's not clear entirely 348 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,444 what's causing this disruptive behavior, 349 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:39,646 even after meeting with him several times. 350 00:29:39,646 --> 00:29:43,830 MOTHER (ON TAPE): Can you say what he was telling you or no? 351 00:29:43,830 --> 00:29:45,185 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): No, I can't tell you that. 352 00:29:45,185 --> 00:29:47,787 But I can tell you my professional opinion. 353 00:29:47,787 --> 00:29:49,556 MOTHER (ON TAPE): You mean a diagnosis? 354 00:29:49,556 --> 00:29:50,990 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): I know that's 355 00:29:50,990 --> 00:29:52,592 what you're after, 356 00:29:52,592 --> 00:29:54,761 but a diagnosis is not always as helpful as you might think. 357 00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:56,363 MOTHER (ON TAPE): You don't have one? 358 00:29:56,363 --> 00:29:57,664 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): [scoffs] 359 00:29:57,664 --> 00:29:59,599 While areas of weakness have been identified 360 00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:01,000 in his learning abilities, 361 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,736 they do not alone seem sufficient enough 362 00:30:02,736 --> 00:30:05,405 to account for the level of social difficulty, 363 00:30:05,405 --> 00:30:07,400 the relationship issues, 364 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,710 the adaptive-living issues you reported to me. 365 00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:12,679 As far as a diagnosis is concerned, 366 00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:14,614 I would really only feel confident 367 00:30:14,614 --> 00:30:16,750 in suggesting that Jeremy has signs 368 00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,786 of what we would call oppositional defiant disorder. 369 00:30:19,786 --> 00:30:21,788 MOTHER (ON TAPE): What is this? 370 00:30:21,788 --> 00:30:23,823 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): It's what it sounds like-- 371 00:30:32,632 --> 00:30:34,734 PSYCHIATRIST (ON TAPE): That somewhere along the line, 372 00:30:34,734 --> 00:30:37,700 he decided that he's the boss. 373 00:30:37,700 --> 00:30:40,240 And you just have to show him, and I mean really show him, 374 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,808 that that's not the case. 375 00:30:41,808 --> 00:30:44,411 You are the boss. [Father snorts] 376 00:30:44,411 --> 00:30:45,845 [button clicks] 377 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:59,325 FATHER: Sasha. You're too old for this now. 378 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:01,194 And too big. 379 00:31:01,194 --> 00:31:03,730 - Aw, but I can't sleep. 380 00:31:03,730 --> 00:31:06,433 MOTHER: Oh, you. 381 00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:08,201 [TV switching on] 382 00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:10,360 MAN (ON TV): I'll slide this off. 383 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,771 It's so flavorful. 384 00:31:11,771 --> 00:31:13,873 WOMAN (ON TV): Look at that, folks. That is-- 385 00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:18,445 - We are having now, um, a girls' night. 386 00:31:18,445 --> 00:31:20,880 - Well, am I kicked out? - Uh-huh. 387 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,884 Sasha, Miss Mousey, and me, we're sleeping here. 388 00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:26,786 You can sleep in her bed. 389 00:31:26,786 --> 00:31:28,121 FATHER: Ay, ay, ay. 390 00:31:28,121 --> 00:31:31,758 SASHA: Bye. - Good night. 391 00:31:31,758 --> 00:31:33,930 FATHER: Night, night. 392 00:31:33,930 --> 00:31:35,161 HOST (ON TV): I'm going to take the spit rod. 393 00:31:35,161 --> 00:31:36,830 And you forget about it. 394 00:31:36,830 --> 00:31:38,598 WOMAN (ON TV): You just set it and then forget it. 395 00:31:38,598 --> 00:31:40,333 WOMAN 2 (ON TV): You just set it and forget it. 396 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:42,335 WOMAN 3 (ON TV): Set it and forget about it. 397 00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:44,370 MAN (ON TV): You set it and forget it. 398 00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:46,473 AUDIENCE (ON TV): Set it and forget it. 399 00:32:03,723 --> 00:32:06,726 [Father shushing] 400 00:32:06,726 --> 00:32:09,729 [indistinct chatter on TV] 401 00:32:30,984 --> 00:32:34,540 EMMA: Oh, no. Can I run through it? 402 00:32:34,540 --> 00:32:36,756 [squealing] 403 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,796 SASHA: Let's keep it going. It's going so fast. 404 00:32:42,796 --> 00:32:45,865 Guys, look how fast it's going! 405 00:32:45,865 --> 00:32:48,868 [children shouting happily] 406 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:55,575 Wait, she's gonna pick it up and pop it this time. 407 00:32:55,575 --> 00:32:56,943 Emma! 408 00:32:58,878 --> 00:33:00,747 Drop it! Okay, okay, okay. 409 00:33:00,747 --> 00:33:02,349 [children scream happily] 410 00:33:02,349 --> 00:33:06,319 Pick it up. EMMA: Pick it up. 411 00:33:06,319 --> 00:33:07,987 CHILDREN: Three, two-- 412 00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:10,990 [all screaming happily] 413 00:33:32,612 --> 00:33:34,814 EMMA: Everyone try to get me. SASHA: Okay. 414 00:33:34,814 --> 00:33:36,983 EMMA: Not yet, not yet! 415 00:33:36,983 --> 00:33:38,985 Now, now. 416 00:33:38,985 --> 00:33:41,988 [children screaming happily] 417 00:33:44,424 --> 00:33:47,427 [vehicle approaching] 418 00:33:51,310 --> 00:33:53,833 [vehicle door opens, closes] 419 00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:55,835 FATHER: Can you hold this for me? 420 00:33:55,835 --> 00:33:59,706 [vehicle door opens, closes] 421 00:34:12,252 --> 00:34:14,254 [knock on door] 422 00:34:16,656 --> 00:34:19,626 [footsteps approaching, door opens] 423 00:34:22,328 --> 00:34:24,431 POLICE OFFICER: Ma'am, is this your son? 424 00:34:24,431 --> 00:34:26,933 He gave us this address. 425 00:34:26,933 --> 00:34:29,690 MOTHER: Yes. 426 00:34:29,690 --> 00:34:31,710 POLICE OFFICER: Your son was caught shoplifting. 427 00:34:31,710 --> 00:34:34,474 We apprehended him in the parking lot. 428 00:34:34,474 --> 00:34:39,212 MOTHER: Okay. Can--you-- can you take off these--these-- 429 00:34:39,212 --> 00:34:41,281 POLICE OFFICER: He'll need to appear in court. 430 00:35:11,745 --> 00:35:15,715 - Man, talk to me! 431 00:35:15,715 --> 00:35:17,517 What's happening? 432 00:35:17,517 --> 00:35:20,186 [objects clatter] 433 00:35:20,186 --> 00:35:22,589 Are you out of your mind? 434 00:35:22,589 --> 00:35:24,124 Calm down. Stop it. 435 00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:26,526 Talk to me. Hey. Talk to me. 436 00:35:26,526 --> 00:35:28,561 JEREMY: Get away from me! 437 00:35:30,263 --> 00:35:34,567 Get away from me! FATHER: Stop it. Calm down. 438 00:35:34,567 --> 00:35:37,170 Calm down. 439 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:38,905 Calm. 440 00:35:50,150 --> 00:35:53,486 [mouse clicking] 441 00:35:53,486 --> 00:35:56,489 [King Crimson's "I Talk to the Wind" plays] 442 00:35:56,489 --> 00:36:03,463 ♪ ♪ 443 00:36:06,966 --> 00:36:10,170 - ♪ Said the straight man ♪ 444 00:36:10,170 --> 00:36:14,174 ♪ To the late man ♪ 445 00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:19,612 ♪ Where have you been? ♪ 446 00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:24,751 ♪ I've been here, and I've been there ♪ 447 00:36:24,751 --> 00:36:31,758 ♪ And I've been in between ♪ 448 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:36,996 ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 449 00:36:38,998 --> 00:36:43,300 ♪ My words are all carried away ♪ 450 00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:45,605 - Can I try? - Yeah. 451 00:36:45,605 --> 00:36:49,900 - ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 452 00:36:51,110 --> 00:36:56,783 ♪ The wind does not hear ♪ 453 00:36:56,783 --> 00:37:01,688 ♪ The wind cannot hear ♪ 454 00:37:01,688 --> 00:37:06,893 ♪ I'm on the outside looking inside ♪ 455 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,370 SASHA: Whoa. MOTHER: Mm-hmm. 456 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,641 Yeah. 457 00:37:25,445 --> 00:37:28,682 And... 458 00:37:28,682 --> 00:37:31,451 we are putting it here. 459 00:37:33,530 --> 00:37:37,230 SASHA: Like this? MOTHER: Yeah. Like... 460 00:37:37,230 --> 00:37:38,825 Yes. 461 00:37:41,828 --> 00:37:45,265 SASHA: Can Emma come over for dinner? 462 00:37:45,265 --> 00:37:48,268 MOTHER: Um... 463 00:37:48,268 --> 00:37:51,271 I don't know. I-I... 464 00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:54,674 I think it's not a good idea. 465 00:37:54,674 --> 00:37:59,790 So I'm really very, very happy that you are making friends, 466 00:37:59,790 --> 00:38:01,481 and you can go 467 00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:06,319 to their houses anytime. 468 00:38:06,319 --> 00:38:08,880 But, um... 469 00:38:09,889 --> 00:38:14,728 I-I don't want you to feel embarrassed... 470 00:38:14,728 --> 00:38:18,640 because what is happening here, you know? 471 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,768 SASHA: I'm not embarrassed. 472 00:38:21,768 --> 00:38:24,871 MOTHER: But you don't know what people are saying. 473 00:38:26,773 --> 00:38:31,311 So it--you know, it feels natural for you, 474 00:38:31,311 --> 00:38:33,513 but it shouldn't. 475 00:38:33,513 --> 00:38:35,115 SASHA: What do you mean? 476 00:38:35,115 --> 00:38:37,384 MOTHER: If Jeremy is coming home by the police, 477 00:38:37,384 --> 00:38:39,886 then people are talking about it. 478 00:38:39,886 --> 00:38:41,321 You know? 479 00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:55,935 You--Yes, I think it's-- it's--it's better like this-- 480 00:38:55,935 --> 00:38:58,104 believe me-- 481 00:38:58,104 --> 00:39:00,907 to keep it separate, you know? 482 00:39:04,277 --> 00:39:07,313 [sizzling] 483 00:39:32,372 --> 00:39:35,375 [footsteps thudding overhead] 484 00:39:51,157 --> 00:39:53,526 [door opens, slams] 485 00:39:57,797 --> 00:39:59,232 - Jeremy! 486 00:40:03,403 --> 00:40:05,405 - [sniffs] 487 00:40:10,610 --> 00:40:13,130 [roof creaks] 488 00:40:13,130 --> 00:40:15,615 MOTHER: Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 489 00:40:17,751 --> 00:40:20,530 FATHER: Devil got into you? 490 00:40:20,530 --> 00:40:21,855 Out of your mind? 491 00:40:29,195 --> 00:40:31,631 Hey, stop this now, okay? 492 00:40:31,631 --> 00:40:32,832 Come down. 493 00:40:36,903 --> 00:40:39,439 MOTHER: Jeremy, can you hear me? 494 00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:42,842 Please, get down, please. 495 00:40:42,842 --> 00:40:44,344 FATHER: Jeremy. 496 00:40:46,346 --> 00:40:48,648 MOTHER: Jeremy... 497 00:40:48,648 --> 00:40:51,384 look at me. 498 00:40:51,384 --> 00:40:53,887 Look at me, please. 499 00:41:01,761 --> 00:41:03,229 Jeremy. 500 00:41:05,231 --> 00:41:06,866 Get down, please. 501 00:41:26,186 --> 00:41:29,289 [distant siren wailing] 502 00:41:34,361 --> 00:41:35,962 [glass shatters] 503 00:41:35,962 --> 00:41:37,764 [gasps] 504 00:41:37,764 --> 00:41:42,168 [distant dogs barking] 505 00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:45,380 [door opens] 506 00:41:52,946 --> 00:41:56,483 Jeremy... 507 00:41:56,483 --> 00:41:58,585 what have you done? 508 00:42:00,186 --> 00:42:03,189 [Jeremy breathing shakily] 509 00:42:17,604 --> 00:42:20,607 [Mother shushing] 510 00:42:40,727 --> 00:42:42,529 MEAN GIRL 1 (ON TV): Oh, there she is. 511 00:42:42,529 --> 00:42:44,130 She's such a loser. 512 00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:47,330 MEAN GIRL 2 (ON TV): I know. 513 00:42:47,330 --> 00:42:49,636 What a geek. 514 00:42:49,636 --> 00:42:52,639 [laughter] 515 00:42:57,243 --> 00:43:00,847 Get lost! 516 00:43:00,847 --> 00:43:03,750 WOMAN (ON TV): Words hurt. Don't be a part of it. 517 00:43:03,750 --> 00:43:05,752 NARRATOR (ON TV): The North American house hippo 518 00:43:05,752 --> 00:43:09,856 is found throughout Canada and Eastern United States. 519 00:43:09,856 --> 00:43:12,492 House hippos are very timid creatures, 520 00:43:12,492 --> 00:43:14,227 and they're rarely seen. 521 00:43:14,227 --> 00:43:17,230 But they would defend their territory if provoked. 522 00:43:17,230 --> 00:43:20,667 They come out at night to search for food, water, 523 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,268 materials for their nests. 524 00:43:22,268 --> 00:43:24,671 The favorite foods of the house hippo 525 00:43:24,671 --> 00:43:26,272 are chips, raisins, 526 00:43:26,272 --> 00:43:28,908 and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast. 527 00:43:28,908 --> 00:43:31,478 They build their nests in bedroom closets, 528 00:43:31,478 --> 00:43:34,800 using lost mittens, dryer lint, 529 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:35,682 and bits of string. 530 00:43:35,682 --> 00:43:38,284 The nests have to be very soft and warm. 531 00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:42,255 House hippos sleep about 16 hours a day. 532 00:43:42,255 --> 00:43:44,491 WOMAN (ON TV): That looked really real. 533 00:43:44,491 --> 00:43:46,893 But you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you? 534 00:43:46,893 --> 00:43:48,795 That's why it's good to think 535 00:43:48,795 --> 00:43:50,530 about what you're watching on TV 536 00:43:50,530 --> 00:43:52,866 and ask questions, kind of like you just did. 537 00:43:52,866 --> 00:43:55,735 A message from Concerned Children's Advertisers. 538 00:43:58,710 --> 00:44:00,507 [door opens] - Hi. 539 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:02,509 FATHER: Hello. - I'm from Social Services. 540 00:44:02,509 --> 00:44:04,444 We had scheduled a house visit. 541 00:44:04,444 --> 00:44:07,113 - Yes. - Thank you. 542 00:44:07,113 --> 00:44:10,830 FATHER: This way, please. 543 00:44:10,830 --> 00:44:12,118 FAMILY SUPPORT WORKER: I wanted to come by 544 00:44:12,118 --> 00:44:15,321 and see how things are with Jeremy. 545 00:44:15,321 --> 00:44:17,924 MOTHER: Oh, we have moved so many times. 546 00:44:17,924 --> 00:44:20,126 And I always worry 547 00:44:20,126 --> 00:44:22,529 what the neighbors are thinking of us, 548 00:44:22,529 --> 00:44:24,931 that maybe we are bad parents. 549 00:44:24,931 --> 00:44:31,104 The thing is that now in the last couple of days, 550 00:44:31,104 --> 00:44:33,773 there were some, uh... 551 00:44:33,773 --> 00:44:38,111 some moments were not that easy 552 00:44:38,111 --> 00:44:41,314 with him again. 553 00:44:41,314 --> 00:44:44,451 [trampoline creaking] 554 00:44:59,366 --> 00:45:02,369 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 555 00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:07,400 [creaking continues] 556 00:45:16,783 --> 00:45:19,786 [somber music] 557 00:45:19,786 --> 00:45:26,393 ♪ ♪ 558 00:45:26,393 --> 00:45:29,596 - She suggested... 559 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,804 Um... 560 00:45:37,804 --> 00:45:42,475 to, um... 561 00:45:45,211 --> 00:45:48,615 She takes him away. 562 00:45:51,651 --> 00:45:55,188 And... 563 00:45:55,188 --> 00:45:58,191 and I... 564 00:45:58,191 --> 00:46:00,427 I said yes. 565 00:46:00,427 --> 00:46:06,332 ♪ ♪ 566 00:46:06,332 --> 00:46:09,235 I just--I said yes. 567 00:46:09,235 --> 00:46:16,242 ♪ ♪ 568 00:46:36,663 --> 00:46:39,466 MOTHER (ON PHONE): It is like some big ping-pong. 569 00:46:39,466 --> 00:46:42,469 The doctor says to talk to the psychologist. 570 00:46:42,469 --> 00:46:46,390 The psychologist says, you need to call the police 571 00:46:46,390 --> 00:46:50,430 when he's acting like this, but the police do nothing. 572 00:46:50,430 --> 00:46:54,470 ADULT SASHA: Mm-hmm. I know. 573 00:46:54,470 --> 00:46:59,850 MOTHER (ON PHONE): I-I just can't get over this. 574 00:46:59,850 --> 00:47:02,288 ADULT SASHA: Uh, I don't think anyone expects you to. 575 00:47:02,288 --> 00:47:05,291 It's a very complicated situation. 576 00:47:05,291 --> 00:47:09,496 And I think, you know, you know that. 577 00:47:09,496 --> 00:47:11,264 MOTHER (ON PHONE): [sighs] I just worry 578 00:47:11,264 --> 00:47:15,268 that if someone else had him... 579 00:47:15,268 --> 00:47:18,204 Maybe--you know, maybe it was me. 580 00:47:18,204 --> 00:47:21,708 It's my fault. 581 00:47:21,708 --> 00:47:26,680 That maybe with someone else, he could be a superstar. 582 00:48:36,149 --> 00:48:39,152 [clacking] 583 00:48:41,870 --> 00:48:44,157 - How are you all? How are your days? 584 00:48:48,161 --> 00:48:49,796 Nice to meet you. 585 00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:53,600 Nice to meet you. 586 00:49:12,385 --> 00:49:14,854 Thank you for meeting me. 587 00:49:21,995 --> 00:49:24,300 Hi. Nice to meet you. 588 00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:27,167 Nice to meet you. Hi. Come right in. 589 00:49:27,167 --> 00:49:29,669 Hi. Nice to meet you. 590 00:49:29,669 --> 00:49:31,710 Hi. 591 00:49:31,710 --> 00:49:33,440 Hi. Hi. 592 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,208 Nice to meet you. 593 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,627 [clears throat] Hi. 594 00:49:54,627 --> 00:49:56,162 SOCIAL WORKER: Hi. SOCIAL WORKER 2: Hello. 595 00:49:56,162 --> 00:49:57,864 ADULT SASHA: How's everybody doing? 596 00:49:57,864 --> 00:49:59,566 SOCIAL WORKER: Good. 597 00:49:59,566 --> 00:50:01,835 - As you can tell, you're on camera. 598 00:50:01,835 --> 00:50:04,700 And I'm a filmmaker, 599 00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:06,673 here to present you with a case file. 600 00:50:06,673 --> 00:50:10,477 There is an eldest child who's presenting issues 601 00:50:10,477 --> 00:50:13,680 within the family, some risk-taking behaviors, 602 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,483 and was assessed, treated, evaluated 603 00:50:16,483 --> 00:50:18,485 over the course of many years. 604 00:50:18,485 --> 00:50:21,287 The family sort of rightfully felt some frustrations 605 00:50:21,287 --> 00:50:24,124 in--in their availability to care. 606 00:50:24,124 --> 00:50:26,292 And so I would love to get a sense 607 00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:29,562 of how you see this case and assess it 608 00:50:29,562 --> 00:50:32,665 and see how those options are different now, 609 00:50:32,665 --> 00:50:35,268 how the case might be handled differently now. 610 00:50:38,905 --> 00:50:40,707 SOCIAL WORKER: How old was the-- 611 00:50:40,707 --> 00:50:43,276 how old was the child when he first started 612 00:50:43,276 --> 00:50:45,412 experiencing some of these things? 613 00:50:45,412 --> 00:50:48,281 ADULT SASHA: Um, I would say there was an observation 614 00:50:48,281 --> 00:50:52,285 of, um, sort of behavioral concerns 615 00:50:52,285 --> 00:50:53,753 at, like, three or four. 616 00:50:53,753 --> 00:50:56,723 But 14, 15 years was really around the time 617 00:50:56,723 --> 00:50:58,358 things started escalating. - Right. 618 00:50:58,358 --> 00:51:01,728 ADULT SASHA: I have some information here about-- 619 00:51:01,728 --> 00:51:04,531 that give some insight into his goals. 620 00:51:04,531 --> 00:51:06,733 - Sure. ADULT SASHA: Uh... 621 00:51:06,733 --> 00:51:08,735 I'll just read it to you here. 622 00:51:08,735 --> 00:51:11,504 He describes the best time of his life as, 623 00:51:11,504 --> 00:51:13,306 "can't think of one." 624 00:51:13,306 --> 00:51:15,508 He says the best thing that could happen to him 625 00:51:15,508 --> 00:51:18,144 would be to be rich and famous. 626 00:51:18,144 --> 00:51:20,513 He feels the worst time of his life was, 627 00:51:20,513 --> 00:51:23,149 "when I got caught stealing twice in a row." 628 00:51:23,149 --> 00:51:24,951 He feels the worst thing that could happen to him 629 00:51:24,951 --> 00:51:29,589 would be to, "be like a junkie, to have a life I don't like." 630 00:51:29,589 --> 00:51:31,324 He describes his three wishes as, 631 00:51:31,324 --> 00:51:35,161 "to have something to travel through time in the universe, 632 00:51:35,161 --> 00:51:38,765 to have lots of money, and be old enough to drive." 633 00:51:40,767 --> 00:51:42,969 There are suggestions of personality disorder. 634 00:51:42,969 --> 00:51:46,206 And then there's sort of a back-tracking of that. 635 00:51:46,206 --> 00:51:48,508 So--so... 636 00:51:48,508 --> 00:51:52,212 there's a lot of confusion, I find, in the document itself 637 00:51:52,212 --> 00:51:55,548 about how to assess his well-being, 638 00:51:55,548 --> 00:51:57,183 his sense of himself, 639 00:51:57,183 --> 00:51:58,985 his sense of himself when talking 640 00:51:58,985 --> 00:52:00,553 to different professionals. 641 00:52:00,553 --> 00:52:05,191 Um, but this is what we have of how he felt. 642 00:52:05,191 --> 00:52:09,796 Uh, I'm curious how that changes anybody's perspective. 643 00:52:09,796 --> 00:52:13,600 - The report talks a lot about requiring considerable support. 644 00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,603 Um, and I know that this is, you know, 20 years ago. 645 00:52:16,603 --> 00:52:19,720 I wonder what sort of support was available 646 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:20,707 for this young person. 647 00:52:20,707 --> 00:52:22,709 Now, I think us as social workers, we see that-- 648 00:52:22,709 --> 00:52:24,944 fast-forward 20 years, there's still not a lot of support 649 00:52:24,944 --> 00:52:28,882 out there to help transition these folks from crises 650 00:52:28,882 --> 00:52:31,510 to stabilization 651 00:52:31,510 --> 00:52:35,488 and--and going down a path that's going to be, uh, 652 00:52:35,488 --> 00:52:37,724 helpful and--and goal-oriented. 653 00:52:37,724 --> 00:52:41,940 And so I can't imagine what it looked like 20 years ago. 654 00:52:41,940 --> 00:52:43,129 SOCIAL WORKER: I mean, the piece that I read 655 00:52:43,129 --> 00:52:45,398 about around having a little bit of respite, 656 00:52:45,398 --> 00:52:46,833 I think, sounds important, 657 00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:49,736 provided that it's qualified with it not being punitive. 658 00:52:49,736 --> 00:52:51,805 I think that's really important. 659 00:52:51,805 --> 00:52:54,207 If this young man--he's the eldest, you're saying, 660 00:52:54,207 --> 00:52:56,420 just so I'm clear in terms of the family history? 661 00:52:56,420 --> 00:52:57,544 ADULT SASHA: Yes. - He's the eldest. 662 00:52:57,544 --> 00:52:59,450 And he is the result 663 00:52:59,450 --> 00:53:01,470 of the mother's relationship with another man. 664 00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:03,283 And the younger three children are the mother's relationship 665 00:53:03,283 --> 00:53:05,385 with a different biological father? 666 00:53:05,385 --> 00:53:06,986 ADULT SASHA: Yes, that's correct. 667 00:53:06,986 --> 00:53:08,988 - So as the eldest-- 668 00:53:08,988 --> 00:53:10,757 And given what I'm hearing here, 669 00:53:10,757 --> 00:53:13,927 this whole family is in crisis. 670 00:53:13,927 --> 00:53:16,629 They're feeling, I'm sure, at their wits' end, 671 00:53:16,629 --> 00:53:19,265 um, and probably holding two things-- 672 00:53:19,265 --> 00:53:22,635 wanting to get their son help 673 00:53:22,635 --> 00:53:25,500 and protect their other children. 674 00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:28,274 - Right, so the suggestion would be to sort of, uh, 675 00:53:28,274 --> 00:53:32,278 ask the family to implement more of a structure 676 00:53:32,278 --> 00:53:34,447 to involve and provide. 677 00:53:34,447 --> 00:53:35,882 SOCIAL WORKER 2: With support, you know? 678 00:53:35,882 --> 00:53:37,283 ADULT SASHA: Yeah. 679 00:53:37,283 --> 00:53:39,285 - Because they're not necessarily feeling good 680 00:53:39,285 --> 00:53:40,487 about him. 681 00:53:40,487 --> 00:53:42,722 So how does-- how do we change that 682 00:53:42,722 --> 00:53:46,920 and using things he's interested in? 683 00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:47,527 ADULT SASHA: Yeah. 684 00:53:47,527 --> 00:53:50,630 - And so sometimes, voluntary placements 685 00:53:50,630 --> 00:53:51,664 can be a good intervention 686 00:53:51,664 --> 00:53:53,666 and then looking towards reunifying the family, 687 00:53:53,666 --> 00:53:57,203 and doing that work to help reunify the family. 688 00:53:57,203 --> 00:53:59,906 And sometimes it could, yeah, create these voids 689 00:53:59,906 --> 00:54:02,676 and vacuums and more problems, right? 690 00:54:02,676 --> 00:54:06,312 And often, um, it's hard to see 691 00:54:06,312 --> 00:54:08,114 what the outcome's gonna be. 692 00:54:08,114 --> 00:54:10,316 And the initial decision is just made on-- 693 00:54:10,316 --> 00:54:13,853 is more made on, okay, the here and now, 694 00:54:13,853 --> 00:54:16,289 what's happening intersectionally, 695 00:54:16,289 --> 00:54:19,759 in terms of, like, risk and--and danger 696 00:54:19,759 --> 00:54:23,596 and best interest of the child, whatever that means. 697 00:54:23,596 --> 00:54:27,670 And so, um-- so it's hard to predict. 698 00:54:27,670 --> 00:54:29,200 And I've seen it, in the instances 699 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,705 that I have been involved with, 700 00:54:31,705 --> 00:54:34,841 go quite well and not go so well. 701 00:54:34,841 --> 00:54:37,911 It's just hard to say. 702 00:54:37,911 --> 00:54:39,346 - Hmm. 703 00:54:39,346 --> 00:54:42,349 [solemn music] 704 00:54:42,349 --> 00:54:49,356 ♪ ♪ 705 00:55:19,886 --> 00:55:21,988 SOCIAL WORKER (ON LAPTOP): Simple, straight-up assurance 706 00:55:21,988 --> 00:55:23,390 is such a strong currency, 707 00:55:23,390 --> 00:55:25,191 just providing that reassurance 708 00:55:25,191 --> 00:55:27,794 to--to the parents that, okay, you're feeling 709 00:55:27,794 --> 00:55:30,663 a vortex of things right now, and it's okay. 710 00:55:30,663 --> 00:55:32,465 Similar to what we're training the parents 711 00:55:32,465 --> 00:55:33,800 to teach the child-- 712 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:35,769 it's okay that you're feeling those things 713 00:55:35,769 --> 00:55:37,203 without feeling these things. 714 00:55:37,203 --> 00:55:39,500 And this is why you're feeling them. 715 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,700 And you have every right to feel these things. 716 00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:44,611 And I think even just that currency of reassurance 717 00:55:44,611 --> 00:55:49,549 can just maybe--just maybe help them take that breather 718 00:55:49,549 --> 00:55:54,788 and try again, try again tomorrow. 719 00:55:54,788 --> 00:55:57,791 [audio warbling] 720 00:55:57,791 --> 00:56:04,798 ♪ ♪ 721 00:56:20,847 --> 00:56:23,850 MOTHER: She suggested... 722 00:56:27,654 --> 00:56:31,240 Um, to... 723 00:56:32,826 --> 00:56:35,295 Um... 724 00:56:35,295 --> 00:56:38,264 [wind gusting] 725 00:56:38,264 --> 00:56:45,271 ♪ ♪ 726 00:57:07,894 --> 00:57:09,696 WOMAN (ON TV): I'm getting married, Walter, 727 00:57:09,696 --> 00:57:11,531 and I'm also getting as far away 728 00:57:11,531 --> 00:57:14,670 from the newspaper business as I can get. 729 00:57:14,670 --> 00:57:15,168 MAN (ON TV): What? 730 00:57:15,168 --> 00:57:16,669 WOMAN (ON TV): I am through. 731 00:57:16,669 --> 00:57:18,304 MAN (ON TV): You can get mad all you want to, Hildy, 732 00:57:18,304 --> 00:57:19,873 but you can't quit the newspaper business. 733 00:57:19,873 --> 00:57:21,508 WOMAN (ON TV): Oh, why not? MAN (ON TV): I know you. 734 00:57:21,508 --> 00:57:23,109 I know what quitting would mean to you. 735 00:57:23,109 --> 00:57:24,678 WOMAN (ON TV): And what would it mean? 736 00:57:24,678 --> 00:57:26,112 MAN (ON TV): It would kill you. 737 00:57:26,112 --> 00:57:27,547 WOMAN (ON TV): You can't sell me that, Walter Burns. 738 00:57:27,547 --> 00:57:29,115 MAN (ON TV): Who says I can't? You're a newspaperman. 739 00:57:29,115 --> 00:57:30,383 WOMAN (ON TV): That's why I'm quitting. 740 00:57:30,383 --> 00:57:31,918 I want to go someplace where I can be a woman. 741 00:57:31,918 --> 00:57:33,319 MAN (ON TV): You mean be a traitor. 742 00:57:33,319 --> 00:57:34,788 WOMAN (ON TV): A traitor to what? 743 00:57:34,788 --> 00:57:36,322 MAN (ON TV): A traitor to journalism. 744 00:57:36,322 --> 00:57:37,924 You're a journalist, Hildy. WOMAN (ON TV): A journalist? 745 00:57:37,924 --> 00:57:39,392 Now, what does that mean? 746 00:57:39,392 --> 00:57:40,927 Peeking through keyholes? Chasing after fire engines? 747 00:57:40,927 --> 00:57:42,529 Waking people up in the middle of the night 748 00:57:42,529 --> 00:57:44,564 to ask them if Hitler's going to start another war? 749 00:58:19,366 --> 00:58:20,967 ADULT SASHA: Hecky? 750 00:58:24,170 --> 00:58:25,605 Ready? 751 00:58:28,775 --> 00:58:30,143 Yeah. 752 00:58:41,187 --> 00:58:44,391 I've been working on, um, a project 753 00:58:44,391 --> 00:58:47,927 that looks back at my time with my family 754 00:58:47,927 --> 00:58:49,763 and that period of time in my life. 755 00:58:49,763 --> 00:58:52,198 And, um... 756 00:58:52,198 --> 00:58:55,635 I thought of you because you, in many ways, 757 00:58:55,635 --> 00:58:58,238 are the key to those memories. 758 00:58:58,238 --> 00:59:01,441 And I'm just so grateful to talk to you about it. 759 00:59:01,441 --> 00:59:05,645 It's funny because I remember these... 760 00:59:05,645 --> 00:59:08,214 more feelings, these moments of chaos. 761 00:59:08,214 --> 00:59:10,650 And then I remember moments that, you know, 762 00:59:10,650 --> 00:59:14,187 were not so disruptive, um... 763 00:59:14,187 --> 00:59:17,624 not so--not so dramatic. 764 00:59:17,624 --> 00:59:20,427 And I remember Jeremy being 765 00:59:20,427 --> 00:59:23,196 you know, as sweet as he was unpredictable. 766 00:59:23,196 --> 00:59:25,432 So it's very hard to-- 767 00:59:25,432 --> 00:59:30,300 to square some of my memories sometimes of that time. 768 00:59:30,300 --> 00:59:32,105 BONNIE (ON LAPTOP): You know, he... 769 00:59:32,105 --> 00:59:34,740 he certainly was struggling. 770 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:36,576 And, you know, that was, I think, 771 00:59:36,576 --> 00:59:40,460 why your parents reached out for as much help as they did, 772 00:59:40,460 --> 00:59:42,449 because he just--he really-- yeah, I don't-- 773 00:59:42,449 --> 00:59:44,851 I just--you know, your mom, in particular, 774 00:59:44,851 --> 00:59:48,321 just didn't know what to do or where to get the help for him. 775 00:59:48,321 --> 00:59:50,230 ADULT SASHA: Yeah. BONNIE (ON LAPTOP): Such a-- 776 00:59:50,230 --> 00:59:53,930 I really had a lot of respect for your parents 777 00:59:53,930 --> 00:59:55,280 and everything that they were trying to do 778 00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:56,496 to raise you and your brothers. 779 00:59:56,496 --> 00:59:57,731 ADULT SASHA: Mm. 780 00:59:57,731 --> 00:59:59,132 BONNIE (ON LAPTOP): In many families, 781 00:59:59,132 --> 01:00:00,800 they hit a breaking point, and it becomes unsafe 782 01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,669 not just for that person 783 01:00:02,669 --> 01:00:05,405 that is going to move into a home--a foster home, 784 01:00:05,405 --> 01:00:08,274 but it becomes unsafe for the other people in the home, 785 01:00:08,274 --> 01:00:09,843 and it's a very difficult decision. 786 01:00:09,843 --> 01:00:11,478 So... ADULT SASHA: Yeah. 787 01:00:11,478 --> 01:00:13,680 BONNIE (ON LAPTOP): He had some pretty unique behaviors, 788 01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,915 and they were really upsetting for your mom. 789 01:00:15,915 --> 01:00:18,485 She was always very worried about... 790 01:00:18,485 --> 01:00:20,286 you know, where that would lead, 791 01:00:20,286 --> 01:00:22,756 and disappointed in the services and support 792 01:00:22,756 --> 01:00:24,224 and answers that she got. 793 01:00:24,224 --> 01:00:26,226 She didn't get answers that really made sense 794 01:00:26,226 --> 01:00:28,495 or that were supportive. ADULT SASHA: Yeah. 795 01:00:28,495 --> 01:00:30,463 BONNIE (ON LAPTOP): He didn't have a lot of friends. 796 01:00:30,463 --> 01:00:32,432 And when he would come out of his room, 797 01:00:32,432 --> 01:00:34,868 he just had the ability 798 01:00:34,868 --> 01:00:37,504 to just take whatever was happening in the room 799 01:00:37,504 --> 01:00:40,440 and just upset it and spin it. 800 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,275 And, you know, 801 01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,344 he demanded a lot of attention in that moment. 802 01:00:44,344 --> 01:00:45,645 And so I do remember 803 01:00:45,645 --> 01:00:47,881 that he would have gasoline in his room. 804 01:00:47,881 --> 01:00:49,649 He just would have it-- not very much, 805 01:00:49,649 --> 01:00:51,317 but he would have some in his room. 806 01:00:51,317 --> 01:00:53,119 And I remember your mom being so scared, 807 01:00:53,119 --> 01:00:55,121 because he had made this threat that he was going 808 01:00:55,121 --> 01:00:57,590 to burn the house down with everybody in it. 809 01:00:57,590 --> 01:01:01,127 I can't even imagine, as your parents, being in the house, 810 01:01:01,127 --> 01:01:04,531 you know, knowing that that threat has been made 811 01:01:04,531 --> 01:01:07,534 and there are things in place 812 01:01:07,534 --> 01:01:10,303 that could make it happen in a split second. 813 01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,307 You know, that's something I always wondered, 814 01:01:14,307 --> 01:01:16,943 you know, is maybe why he didn't get a diagnosis. 815 01:01:16,943 --> 01:01:18,678 But we'll never know. 816 01:01:18,678 --> 01:01:21,470 We'll never know, you know, the truth, I don't think. 817 01:01:21,470 --> 01:01:23,750 It's really hard to sort of sort that through. 818 01:01:23,750 --> 01:01:25,685 Um... 819 01:01:25,685 --> 01:01:27,120 but he... 820 01:01:28,922 --> 01:01:32,158 The character that I saw, the person that I saw 821 01:01:32,158 --> 01:01:34,761 certainly demonstrated or looked like someone 822 01:01:34,761 --> 01:01:36,529 who was really suffering, 823 01:01:36,529 --> 01:01:39,933 who was really struggling, who was really... 824 01:01:39,933 --> 01:01:43,370 alone and isolated and... 825 01:01:43,370 --> 01:01:46,840 invested in... 826 01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,376 yeah, invested in the chaos, 827 01:01:49,376 --> 01:01:53,279 really invested in the chaos. 828 01:01:53,279 --> 01:01:55,815 I hope someday to be able to, you know, be 829 01:01:55,815 --> 01:01:57,951 in the presence of your parents again. 830 01:01:57,951 --> 01:02:00,530 They're both very strong people. 831 01:02:00,530 --> 01:02:01,855 They're very resilient, you know? 832 01:02:01,855 --> 01:02:04,357 And I have a lot of respect for them, for sure. 833 01:02:04,357 --> 01:02:08,128 So I hope someday that I cross paths with them, too. 834 01:02:12,966 --> 01:02:15,969 - [crying] 835 01:02:17,871 --> 01:02:21,408 [breathes deeply] 836 01:02:33,186 --> 01:02:34,988 [exhales deeply] 837 01:02:34,988 --> 01:02:36,990 [door opens] 838 01:02:52,839 --> 01:02:55,842 [engine turning over] 839 01:02:55,842 --> 01:02:58,845 [soft classical music playing on car stereo] 840 01:02:58,845 --> 01:03:05,885 ♪ ♪ 841 01:03:15,228 --> 01:03:18,231 [music growing louder] 842 01:03:18,231 --> 01:03:25,238 ♪ ♪ 843 01:03:40,687 --> 01:03:43,289 [child speaking indistinctly] 844 01:03:51,865 --> 01:03:55,468 [boat engine rumbling] 845 01:03:55,468 --> 01:04:02,509 ♪ ♪ 846 01:05:14,147 --> 01:05:16,149 [music stops] 847 01:05:22,589 --> 01:05:23,990 [phone beeps] 848 01:05:41,408 --> 01:05:44,411 [children chattering indistinctly] 849 01:05:58,758 --> 01:06:01,761 [woman speaking indistinctly] 850 01:06:10,470 --> 01:06:12,505 - Hello. - Hi. 851 01:06:15,442 --> 01:06:17,143 Uh... 852 01:06:17,143 --> 01:06:18,878 - You're from social services, yes? 853 01:06:18,878 --> 01:06:22,248 - Yes, sorry, that's right. It's nice to meet you. 854 01:06:26,252 --> 01:06:28,880 FATHER: This way, please. 855 01:06:31,191 --> 01:06:33,393 ADULT SASHA: Do you mind if I look around first? 856 01:06:33,393 --> 01:06:34,828 FATHER: Yeah, that's fine. 857 01:06:54,481 --> 01:06:55,882 Miss Mousey. 858 01:06:55,882 --> 01:06:57,830 ADULT SASHA: Mm. 859 01:07:03,690 --> 01:07:05,291 ELMER FUDD (ON TV): [chuckles] 860 01:07:05,291 --> 01:07:09,195 First we will hear a waltz written by Johann Strauss. 861 01:07:09,195 --> 01:07:10,630 [boing] 862 01:07:10,630 --> 01:07:13,633 [chuckles] And as we hear the "whythmic stwains" 863 01:07:13,633 --> 01:07:15,535 of the haunting "wefwain," 864 01:07:15,535 --> 01:07:18,471 "wisten" to the whistling "whythm" of the woodwinds 865 01:07:18,471 --> 01:07:21,908 as it "wolls awound and awound" 866 01:07:21,908 --> 01:07:23,877 and comes out here. 867 01:07:23,877 --> 01:07:25,912 [boing] 868 01:07:25,912 --> 01:07:28,915 [fabric ripping, Elmer Fudd chuckles] 869 01:07:28,915 --> 01:07:31,918 [waltz playing on tv] 870 01:07:31,918 --> 01:07:38,925 ♪ ♪ 871 01:07:47,734 --> 01:07:50,704 [Adult Sasha sniffling] 872 01:07:56,109 --> 01:07:58,144 [child giggles] 873 01:08:18,965 --> 01:08:25,972 ♪ ♪ 874 01:08:27,774 --> 01:08:32,212 [door opens, closes] 875 01:08:48,940 --> 01:08:50,797 [Gandharvas' "The First Day of Spring"] 876 01:08:50,797 --> 01:08:57,604 ♪ ♪ 877 01:08:57,604 --> 01:09:00,407 - ♪ Come on out ♪ 878 01:09:00,407 --> 01:09:05,110 ♪ Don't just sit there catatonic ♪ 879 01:09:06,613 --> 01:09:10,383 ♪ I'm feeling supersonic ♪ 880 01:09:11,985 --> 01:09:16,389 ♪ The warm wind is sweeping by ♪ 881 01:09:16,389 --> 01:09:19,392 ♪ The sun's full in the sky ♪ 882 01:09:19,392 --> 01:09:24,130 ♪ And there's no way of knowing ♪ 883 01:09:24,130 --> 01:09:27,000 ♪ No way to know ♪ 884 01:09:43,490 --> 01:09:45,652 ADULT SASHA: Can I turn this light on? 885 01:09:45,652 --> 01:09:47,787 FATHER: Yes, it's okay now. 886 01:09:47,787 --> 01:09:49,789 [switch clicks] 887 01:10:04,270 --> 01:10:06,272 [switch clicks] 888 01:10:16,883 --> 01:10:19,552 ADULT SASHA: Hi. MOTHER: Hi. 889 01:10:19,552 --> 01:10:21,121 ADULT SASHA: It's nice to meet you. 890 01:10:21,121 --> 01:10:23,890 MOTHER: Nice to meet you, too. FATHER: Please, have a seat. 891 01:10:23,890 --> 01:10:25,492 ADULT SASHA: Thank you. 892 01:10:32,866 --> 01:10:34,467 Hi. 893 01:10:34,467 --> 01:10:36,669 MOTHER: Hi, hello. 894 01:10:36,669 --> 01:10:38,672 ADULT SASHA: Um... 895 01:10:38,672 --> 01:10:41,207 how are you both doing? 896 01:10:41,207 --> 01:10:42,676 MOTHER: Yeah... 897 01:10:42,676 --> 01:10:44,444 we are fine, thanks. 898 01:10:44,444 --> 01:10:46,546 ADULT SASHA: How are things with Jeremy? 899 01:10:49,315 --> 01:10:51,918 MOTHER: You can talk, too, you know? 900 01:10:51,918 --> 01:10:53,353 - Yes, I will. 901 01:10:53,353 --> 01:10:56,322 But, please, you start. 902 01:10:56,322 --> 01:10:57,724 - Um... 903 01:10:59,526 --> 01:11:02,128 [sighs] 904 01:11:02,128 --> 01:11:05,732 It feels like... 905 01:11:05,732 --> 01:11:07,934 somehow, I'm cursed. 906 01:11:10,704 --> 01:11:12,505 He's... 907 01:11:12,505 --> 01:11:14,307 so troubled. 908 01:11:14,307 --> 01:11:17,711 We tried everything... [inhales deeply] 909 01:11:17,711 --> 01:11:20,146 Mm, therapy... 910 01:11:20,146 --> 01:11:23,717 special school, homeschooling. 911 01:11:23,717 --> 01:11:26,519 It didn't work. 912 01:11:28,355 --> 01:11:30,957 He doesn't want to listen to anybody. 913 01:11:30,957 --> 01:11:33,960 Not us, not any adult 914 01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:36,363 could ever control him. 915 01:11:40,934 --> 01:11:43,169 Mm... 916 01:11:43,169 --> 01:11:46,172 he was six years old 917 01:11:46,172 --> 01:11:50,410 when one day something happened with his eyes. 918 01:11:50,410 --> 01:11:53,546 You can tell this, no? 919 01:11:53,546 --> 01:11:56,750 - We were playing catch with a ball, 920 01:11:56,750 --> 01:11:59,753 just back and forth and... 921 01:11:59,753 --> 01:12:03,189 When, suddenly, he could not catch it anymore. 922 01:12:03,189 --> 01:12:05,992 I would throw it for him, and... 923 01:12:05,992 --> 01:12:10,563 his hands would cross the air in front of him. 924 01:12:10,563 --> 01:12:14,834 But he just could not see the ball anymore. 925 01:12:14,834 --> 01:12:18,204 It was something very strange, 926 01:12:18,204 --> 01:12:22,208 but his eyes just suddenly went crossed. 927 01:12:24,110 --> 01:12:26,880 It was very bizarre, and... 928 01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,150 and I think it scared him. 929 01:12:29,150 --> 01:12:31,918 It scared us, too, of course. - Yeah. 930 01:12:34,587 --> 01:12:38,425 So I don't know. [inhales deeply] 931 01:12:38,425 --> 01:12:42,796 This is one of the unlucky things that comes to my mind. 932 01:12:42,796 --> 01:12:45,799 Mm, he had to get these big glasses 933 01:12:45,799 --> 01:12:48,802 with such a very young age. 934 01:12:48,802 --> 01:12:50,603 And I think because of this 935 01:12:50,603 --> 01:12:55,442 and from his accent at the beginning... 936 01:12:55,442 --> 01:12:59,846 mm, the kids at the school were not nice to him. 937 01:12:59,846 --> 01:13:01,748 ADULT SASHA: You mean he was picked on? 938 01:13:01,748 --> 01:13:04,250 - Yes. 939 01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:09,550 ADULT SASHA: Did he talk to either of you about this? 940 01:13:09,550 --> 01:13:11,624 - Mm, he... 941 01:13:13,827 --> 01:13:15,829 He doesn't care 942 01:13:15,829 --> 01:13:20,734 about what others saying about him. 943 01:13:20,734 --> 01:13:23,470 He never cared about... 944 01:13:23,470 --> 01:13:26,106 making friends. 945 01:13:26,106 --> 01:13:27,841 He just-- 946 01:13:27,841 --> 01:13:31,644 he likes to be the clown... 947 01:13:31,644 --> 01:13:34,800 to everyone. 948 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,830 He was always like this. 949 01:13:37,830 --> 01:13:39,486 ADULT SASHA: And how is he with his siblings? 950 01:13:42,288 --> 01:13:47,930 - Mm, sometimes he's really nasty with them, 951 01:13:47,930 --> 01:13:50,530 but sometimes he's--he's very sweet. 952 01:13:53,660 --> 01:13:54,667 Mm. 953 01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:01,508 ADULT SASHA: Why do you think he's like this? 954 01:14:05,311 --> 01:14:07,313 [Father sighs] 955 01:14:16,322 --> 01:14:19,926 - He's uncontrollable, completely. 956 01:14:19,926 --> 01:14:24,130 He's doing really big and risky things. 957 01:14:24,130 --> 01:14:27,734 And he can hurt himself or... 958 01:14:27,734 --> 01:14:29,536 others. 959 01:14:29,536 --> 01:14:33,640 And he doesn't care if he's getting caught. 960 01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,376 So one day, 961 01:14:36,376 --> 01:14:40,800 he stole a bicycle from a yard. 962 01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:42,916 And he came home totally beaten up, 963 01:14:42,916 --> 01:14:45,719 and his face was blue. 964 01:14:45,719 --> 01:14:47,587 I don't know what he was thinking. 965 01:14:47,587 --> 01:14:52,359 And he told me it was just for fun. 966 01:14:52,359 --> 01:14:55,128 I don't know what-- 967 01:14:55,128 --> 01:14:57,163 What is he thinking? 968 01:14:58,965 --> 01:15:00,967 And... 969 01:15:00,967 --> 01:15:03,436 and he's stealing from us. 970 01:15:03,436 --> 01:15:07,374 - We can't keep any money where he can find it. 971 01:15:07,374 --> 01:15:09,776 He takes whatever he sees. 972 01:15:09,776 --> 01:15:12,212 Sometimes he's taking things from the house 973 01:15:12,212 --> 01:15:15,615 and brings them to the pawn shop just to get a few dollars. 974 01:15:15,615 --> 01:15:17,951 He would even steal from his siblings. 975 01:15:17,951 --> 01:15:20,754 - Yeah, he thinks that he's... 976 01:15:20,754 --> 01:15:23,623 some kind of gangster guy. 977 01:15:23,623 --> 01:15:27,961 He tried to sell fake drugs to some boys on the street 978 01:15:27,961 --> 01:15:30,397 at 14 years old. 979 01:15:32,399 --> 01:15:34,601 I... 980 01:15:34,601 --> 01:15:37,300 So we can't... 981 01:15:37,300 --> 01:15:41,207 we can't tell him anything. 982 01:15:41,207 --> 01:15:43,610 He doesn't listen to us. 983 01:15:43,610 --> 01:15:46,813 Grounding, rules--nothing. 984 01:15:50,383 --> 01:15:52,686 ADULT SASHA: Is it true that he once threatened 985 01:15:52,686 --> 01:15:54,454 to burn the house down? 986 01:15:58,825 --> 01:16:01,628 - Yeah, I know he hates me. 987 01:16:01,628 --> 01:16:03,229 - What should we do now? 988 01:16:03,229 --> 01:16:05,231 That's what we need to know, yeah? 989 01:16:05,231 --> 01:16:07,434 What are we supposed to do? 990 01:16:07,434 --> 01:16:09,736 ADULT SASHA: From what I understand, 991 01:16:09,736 --> 01:16:12,305 the best option would be something 992 01:16:12,305 --> 01:16:14,441 called voluntary placement. 993 01:16:26,252 --> 01:16:30,690 MOTHER: Voluntary placement, what does it mean, exactly? 994 01:16:32,225 --> 01:16:34,270 ADULT SASHA: It means he would be placed 995 01:16:34,270 --> 01:16:36,296 with a foster family, essentially. 996 01:16:40,633 --> 01:16:42,268 FATHER: Uh, I'm sorry. 997 01:16:42,268 --> 01:16:47,400 T-this is a very hard thing for us to hear. 998 01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:50,477 I-I'm sure you understand, we are trying so hard 999 01:16:50,477 --> 01:16:53,279 for--for so many years with Jeremy. 1000 01:16:53,279 --> 01:16:56,282 [Mother speaking Hungarian] 1001 01:17:14,734 --> 01:17:16,703 MOTHER: I need some water. 1002 01:17:18,505 --> 01:17:20,874 ADULT SASHA: I'm sorry. 1003 01:17:20,874 --> 01:17:23,760 I didn't mean to upset her. 1004 01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,716 - It's okay. Uh... 1005 01:17:29,716 --> 01:17:33,720 We're just both so exhausted from all of this. 1006 01:17:35,355 --> 01:17:38,324 And we feel like there is no good options left. 1007 01:17:44,731 --> 01:17:46,933 [cup thuds on table] 1008 01:17:46,933 --> 01:17:49,769 - Have you ever heard... 1009 01:17:49,769 --> 01:17:52,105 about a family like this? 1010 01:17:54,808 --> 01:17:56,309 How come... [Father sighs] 1011 01:17:56,309 --> 01:18:00,447 Nobody has to give their children away? 1012 01:18:00,447 --> 01:18:03,350 Just alcohol addicts 1013 01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:07,354 or people are beating their children. 1014 01:18:07,354 --> 01:18:11,558 I don't understand why. 1015 01:18:11,558 --> 01:18:13,927 ADULT SASHA: I wish I had a better answer. 1016 01:18:22,602 --> 01:18:26,573 FATHER: What if we try this, just for a little while? 1017 01:18:26,573 --> 01:18:31,144 Maybe if he goes away, he can do better. 1018 01:18:31,144 --> 01:18:33,130 And then he comes home. 1019 01:18:36,950 --> 01:18:39,586 MOTHER: Could we see him still? 1020 01:18:41,354 --> 01:18:43,390 - [sniffles] 1021 01:18:55,969 --> 01:18:57,971 [sniffles] 1022 01:18:57,971 --> 01:19:00,600 You will see him again. 1023 01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:06,846 You will try many, many times to keep him at home. 1024 01:19:09,282 --> 01:19:12,986 You will do everything in your power to help him. 1025 01:19:12,986 --> 01:19:15,588 [sniffles] It will consume you entirely. 1026 01:19:19,192 --> 01:19:21,194 You won't give up. 1027 01:19:21,194 --> 01:19:25,632 But you will get tired as the years go on and on. 1028 01:19:25,632 --> 01:19:28,168 [sniffles] 1029 01:19:28,168 --> 01:19:30,637 He will go to foster care, 1030 01:19:30,637 --> 01:19:33,640 but it will be a temporary solution. 1031 01:19:36,476 --> 01:19:40,814 You will doubt yourself as a parent... 1032 01:19:40,814 --> 01:19:42,649 and, at times, your life. 1033 01:19:44,851 --> 01:19:48,540 You will begin to close yourself from the world. 1034 01:19:50,223 --> 01:19:52,625 [sniffles] 1035 01:19:52,625 --> 01:19:54,694 No one will understand. 1036 01:19:56,429 --> 01:19:58,431 And it will only worsen. 1037 01:20:01,568 --> 01:20:04,370 He, himself, will have no explanation... 1038 01:20:04,370 --> 01:20:07,474 [sniffles] Other than he cannot manage. 1039 01:20:11,111 --> 01:20:14,614 You will beg for change and solutions. 1040 01:20:17,650 --> 01:20:20,487 He will grow into an adult... [sniffles] 1041 01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:23,289 And the help he needs, he will not get. 1042 01:20:27,293 --> 01:20:30,630 It won't get better. 1043 01:20:30,630 --> 01:20:31,664 Countless professionals 1044 01:20:31,664 --> 01:20:34,340 will come in and out of your life. 1045 01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:40,730 But it won't change. [sniffles] 1046 01:20:41,908 --> 01:20:45,712 Despite what you know of him and yourself... 1047 01:20:45,712 --> 01:20:47,514 you will lose him. 1048 01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:57,900 [sniffles] 1049 01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,329 [door opens] [waltz playing on tv] 1050 01:21:03,329 --> 01:21:05,331 SOCIAL WORKER: This does not have to be 1051 01:21:05,331 --> 01:21:06,833 a permanent solution. 1052 01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:09,736 It could also be a temporary one as well. 1053 01:21:09,736 --> 01:21:12,972 MOTHER: To--to send him... 1054 01:21:12,972 --> 01:21:16,509 to a-a totally stranger family... 1055 01:21:18,511 --> 01:21:20,513 Do you think that-- 1056 01:21:53,130 --> 01:21:56,160 [ambient music] 1057 01:21:56,160 --> 01:22:02,989 ♪ ♪ 1058 01:22:51,171 --> 01:22:54,207 ADULT SASHA: Did you have a friend named Elijah? 1059 01:22:54,207 --> 01:22:56,420 JEREMY: Mm-hmm. 1060 01:22:57,811 --> 01:23:00,447 ADULT SASHA: How come I don't remember that? 1061 01:23:00,447 --> 01:23:02,849 JEREMY: I think there's a lot you don't remember. 1062 01:23:11,558 --> 01:23:14,427 - "Dear Sasha... 1063 01:23:14,427 --> 01:23:16,863 I grew up with your brother Jeremy." 1064 01:23:19,432 --> 01:23:21,234 "We were never really close, 1065 01:23:21,234 --> 01:23:23,870 "but he was one of the most memorable of my friends 1066 01:23:23,870 --> 01:23:25,710 from school." 1067 01:23:26,873 --> 01:23:29,242 "In grade ten, we were suspended together 1068 01:23:29,242 --> 01:23:32,212 "for stealing from lockers. 1069 01:23:32,212 --> 01:23:34,481 "That's a long story, but... 1070 01:23:34,481 --> 01:23:36,483 Jeremy wasn't really involved." 1071 01:23:38,952 --> 01:23:41,955 "Even though I took the blame, Jeremy still got in trouble. 1072 01:23:41,955 --> 01:23:44,900 And I felt pretty bad about that." 1073 01:23:45,825 --> 01:23:48,194 "He invited me over to hang out one time, 1074 01:23:48,194 --> 01:23:52,799 "and he showed me his maps of towns and cities. 1075 01:23:52,799 --> 01:23:55,935 They remain some of the most unique art I've seen." 1076 01:23:58,371 --> 01:23:59,906 "I would sometimes see him out 1077 01:23:59,906 --> 01:24:02,275 with people who were not very good influences." 1078 01:24:04,110 --> 01:24:06,479 "I was really unsure how to help." 1079 01:24:09,716 --> 01:24:12,185 "I began seeing less and less of him." 1080 01:24:14,287 --> 01:24:16,823 "After high school, I didn't see much of him, 1081 01:24:16,823 --> 01:24:19,125 but I would think of him often." 1082 01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,329 "Recently, I tried to look him up on Facebook 1083 01:24:23,329 --> 01:24:25,532 but couldn't find anything." 1084 01:24:27,434 --> 01:24:30,303 "But I came across you... 1085 01:24:30,303 --> 01:24:32,505 and your films." 1086 01:24:35,508 --> 01:24:38,144 "That's where I learned about his passing." 1087 01:24:42,749 --> 01:24:45,518 "I am so very sorry for your loss." 1088 01:24:48,540 --> 01:24:50,190 "I saw in your film what you said 1089 01:24:50,190 --> 01:24:52,759 "about being angry at Jeremy... 1090 01:24:52,759 --> 01:24:54,961 and your regrets about that now." 1091 01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:00,767 "I also have a brother who I've been angry with 1092 01:25:00,767 --> 01:25:02,569 for most of my life." 1093 01:25:04,437 --> 01:25:08,410 "I just wanted to share my memories of your brother 1094 01:25:08,410 --> 01:25:11,945 "and that I always knew him as a special soul 1095 01:25:11,945 --> 01:25:13,947 who had a kind heart." 1096 01:25:23,556 --> 01:25:26,559 [seagulls crying] 1097 01:25:37,370 --> 01:25:41,241 [distant boat horn blowing] 1098 01:26:20,246 --> 01:26:23,249 [Daniel Johnston's "Some Things Last a Long Time"] 1099 01:26:23,249 --> 01:26:27,854 ♪ ♪ 1100 01:26:27,854 --> 01:26:30,230 - ♪ Your picture ♪ 1101 01:26:32,292 --> 01:26:34,627 ♪ Is still ♪ 1102 01:26:36,730 --> 01:26:39,650 ♪ On my wall ♪ 1103 01:26:40,834 --> 01:26:43,269 ♪ On my wall ♪ 1104 01:26:45,705 --> 01:26:48,740 ♪ The colors ♪ 1105 01:26:50,760 --> 01:26:52,278 ♪ Are bright ♪ 1106 01:26:52,278 --> 01:26:55,115 ♪ ♪ 1107 01:26:55,115 --> 01:26:56,883 ♪ Bright ♪ 1108 01:26:58,885 --> 01:27:00,887 ♪ As ever ♪ 1109 01:27:03,289 --> 01:27:07,394 ♪ The red is strong ♪ 1110 01:27:07,394 --> 01:27:12,320 ♪ The blue is pure ♪ 1111 01:27:12,320 --> 01:27:15,869 ♪ Some things last ♪ 1112 01:27:15,869 --> 01:27:18,304 ♪ A long time ♪ 1113 01:27:18,304 --> 01:27:21,408 ♪ ♪ 1114 01:27:21,408 --> 01:27:25,111 ♪ Some things last ♪ 1115 01:27:25,111 --> 01:27:27,480 ♪ A long time ♪ 1116 01:27:27,480 --> 01:27:34,487 ♪ ♪