1 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,169 [Bridget] ****, ****, ****! So late! 2 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,805 [Billy] Mabel's put a scarf on the cat. 3 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,174 [Mabel] He's not a cat. He's my husband. 4 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,176 Where is he? 5 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,611 [Mabel] Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork. 6 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,140 [Billy] There were three ladies, and they had an epic pillow fight. 7 00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:23,683 -The fork had maple syrup on it. -Out of the way, darling. 8 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,151 -[Mabel clears throat] -Well, 9 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,821 it's obvious he's not coming, so I'll just stay home. 10 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:30,790 You said this was the one thing you had to leave the house for this year. 11 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:31,991 [Bridget sighs] You're right. I'm going. 12 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,693 Move, please, Mabes. 13 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,898 ****-- caccia. 14 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,633 Did we eat the focaccia? 15 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,380 [sighs] Well, we haven't got any vegetables. 16 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:49,642 But lucky you, you get to have frozen peas. Mmm. 17 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,911 All right. Come to the table. 18 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,747 Come on. 19 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:58,218 One, two... 20 00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,720 [Bridget] What am I going to do when I get to three? 21 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,222 -[smoke alarm blares] -[Bridget exclaiming] 22 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,857 [smoke alarm] Please enter alarm code. 23 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,658 [Bridget] Oh, ****, oh, ****, oh, ****! 24 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,761 -Please enter alarm code. -No! Don't put the flames out. 25 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,796 -We can toast marshmallows. -Please enter alarm code. 26 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,664 Please-- 27 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,233 [gasps, sighs] 28 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:18,710 [sighs] 29 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:22,142 The tension of our bodies, 30 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,545 -the scars of-- -[phone ringing] 31 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,113 [automated phone voice] Hello, Moto. 32 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,952 [woman] ...in-- in our longing. 33 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,554 Bridget Jones, always exciting. 34 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,900 -How's the skirt? -Daniel, hi. [sighs] 35 00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:39,592 Just checking you have indeed forgotten about tonight. 36 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:43,129 That is hurtful, Jones. I have absolutely not forgotten. 37 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,931 -[audience shushes] -No. 38 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:47,330 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 39 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,350 -She's in the hospital. -[audience member] Oh. 40 00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:51,237 -Primordial sweat. -I will be there 41 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,940 quicker than it took me to bring you to earth-shattering orgasm, 42 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,709 you filthy little harlot. 43 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,278 [audience murmuring] 44 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,148 Love you, Mummy. 45 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,818 "Mummy"? 46 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,252 Darling, clever Geminita. 47 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,988 I'm gonna have to rush. It's a family emergency. 48 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,990 But I am loving this one. 49 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,859 I think-- I think we all are, aren't we? 50 00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,627 Call me later, yeah? 51 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,630 Oh, yeah. 52 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,866 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent. 53 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,568 Un-bunch those giant panties. 54 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,244 [Bridget groans] 55 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,130 [Bridget] Bloody zip manufacturers should be 56 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,148 cancelled for sociological bias. 57 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:38,885 It is actually impossible to do this on your own. 58 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,721 [sighs] Help. 59 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,828 -Ooh. Thank you, monkeys. -[horn honks] 60 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,196 Uncle Daniel! 61 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,765 Miniature Darcy, what's the news? 62 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,299 [Billy] Where are the ladies with the big-- 63 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,235 [Daniel] Hair? They couldn't make it, sadly. 64 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,370 They're, um... They're washing their hair. 65 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:58,672 All three? 66 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,240 Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see. 67 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,942 I thought you said no more models. 68 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,778 Geminita is not a model, Jones. 69 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,746 She is a poet and a healer, 70 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,914 and a model. 71 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,820 Come here. 72 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,520 Hell of a night for you. 73 00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:14,988 Ugh, I can't go. The children need me. 74 00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,389 Uncle Daniel! 75 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,191 You. Right. 76 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,727 Get a fork and some syrup. I'm gonna style you. 77 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,263 -[Billy] I found the cards. -[Daniel] Very good. Excellent. 78 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:27,334 Now then, we need to work on your bluffing and your cheating. 79 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,755 [Bridget] Life has its white notes... 80 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,161 and life has its black notes. 81 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:01,234 You look very beautiful tonight, Mrs Darcy. 82 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,637 Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Darcy. 83 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,677 [doorbell rings] 84 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:21,287 Bridget. 85 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,356 [Bridget] Very black notes. 86 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:26,259 Jolly good. Come in. Weather's been a bit shitty, hasn't it? 87 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,861 -Though the cricket this year has been... -Jeremy. 88 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,397 ...absolutely phenomenal. 89 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,267 [Bridget] This is what happened. 90 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,970 Mark Darcy, my husband, 91 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,105 father to Billy and Mabel, 92 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,974 died. 93 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,276 Or rather, was killed 94 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,713 in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission. 95 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,917 -Everybody's just upstairs. -Thanks. 96 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,953 [Bridget] And that was four years ago. Today, actually. 97 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,324 Brace yourself. It's a total ****ing shit show. 98 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:04,300 [Bridget] And even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, 99 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,300 the world still struggles to find the right ones 100 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,236 when someone you love is gone. 101 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,380 Bridget, how are the children? 102 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,306 -[woman] Mmm. -Are they-- 103 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,208 Are they all right without you there? 104 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:18,278 -[guests murmuring] -No. It's fine. 105 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,348 Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen. 106 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,510 [Bridget] Maybe not. 107 00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:27,153 Well, we don't make a thing about it. 108 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,222 We celebrate Mark's birthday instead. 109 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:30,357 [guests] Oh. 110 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,792 So, Bridget, still on your own? 111 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,427 [man] It's been four years now. 112 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,996 You're still in pretty good nick. Why no chap? 113 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:40,200 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard, being a middle-aged woman 114 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,835 -and finding yourself single. -[guests] Mmm. 115 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:45,238 Better if you're a bloke. Look at Binko Carruthers. 116 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:46,840 He's no oil painting, 117 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:50,100 but the second Rosemary died, he was inundated. 118 00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:53,847 Of course, they were all of a certain age, though, weren't they? 119 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,982 Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud? 120 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,351 -[laughs] -Hmm? 121 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,388 "A certain age"? What, do you mean our age? 122 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,490 -That is the most... -[Bridget] Shazzer now hosts 123 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,910 a podcast calledFed Up, 124 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,893 in which she has dinner with minor celebrities 125 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,429 while basically getting furious about everything. 126 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,498 ...***ist ****ing universe we, unbelievably, 127 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:14,334 still continue to ****ing inhabit. 128 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,771 [mouthing word] 129 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,974 I need to go to the toilet. 130 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,409 [guests] Oh. 131 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,477 [woman] Oh, dear. 132 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,548 Yeah, Jude. Yeah, I'm with her now. 133 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,284 [Jude] Well, Shaz, tell her to come to The Golden ****. 134 00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,587 No, no, no. The party. It's for Mark. 135 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,257 That's not a party. That's a ****ing bin fire. 136 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,126 And you think that Mark would want you to stay here and be insulted 137 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,395 in the ****ing ***ism Olympics? 138 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,297 [Bridget's friends] To Mark. 139 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,532 -And to Bridget... -[Bridget] Aw. 140 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,330 ...and the rare pleasure of seeing you 141 00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:48,535 -in something not made of terry towelling. 142 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,570 -[Shaz laughs] -[Bridget] Tom, still living 143 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,206 handsomely off his one hit single 144 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:57,577 which had a comeback recently in a 30-second video of a dog doing maths. 145 00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:00,513 Now, of all things, a life coach. 146 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:03,283 Honestly, I'd say it was a bit of a breakthrough, 147 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,452 speaking as your psychologist. 148 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,220 [laughs] You're not my psychologist. 149 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,890 Well, I should be, yes. 150 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,857 According to the classic model, 151 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,590 you've actually made it to the fourth stage 152 00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:16,896 -of the five stages of grief. -Wait. Isn't it seven stages? 153 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,432 What are you talking about, Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages. 154 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,468 -Isn't it five? -Well, I always thought it was four. 155 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,103 [Jude] It's definitely seven. 156 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,438 [Bridget] Jude, now CEO or COO 157 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,274 or CTO, definitely a C-something-O, 158 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,911 still regularly calling, in tears, from executive bathroom. 159 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,315 So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge. 160 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,617 -[Bridget] Oh. -[clears throat] Stage five. 161 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,220 It's acceptance, which basically means 162 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,456 -you just have to get laid. -Oh, my God. Shazzer's right. 163 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,526 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling, look at yourself. 164 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,928 You've become a born-again virgin. 165 00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:51,765 I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake. 166 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,566 I don't want anyone else. 167 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,301 And even if I did, which I don't, 168 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,905 and nobody will ever fancy me again. 169 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,674 -Ever, ever, ever. -No. No, no, no. 170 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,575 And I'm going to the toilet. 171 00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:05,879 Crash and burn. That was a disaster. 172 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,800 Well, that was a ****ing disaster. 173 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:10,517 [Bridget yawns] 174 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,653 Crikey. Have we been burgled? 175 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,889 [Daniel] We have not been burgled, Jones. No. 176 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,158 We have been marvellous. Now, tell me this. 177 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:22,696 For Tonya, do we think a kitten heel or a chunky wedge? 178 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,697 She's going to Wimbledon. 179 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,565 Wedge, obviously. 180 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,200 You may be right. 181 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,703 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue? 182 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,840 Ugh. God. No tongue. I have hung up my tongue. 183 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,642 How were they? 184 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,210 Well, the girl is you. 185 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:41,581 Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me. 186 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,583 Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy. 187 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,118 She does that. 188 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:48,555 Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed until I'd married her rabbit. 189 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,890 -Hmm. -[Daniel] Which I was very happy to do. 190 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,859 That rabbit is not at all unfanciable. 191 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,260 [Bridget] Hmm. And Billy? 192 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,830 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he? 193 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,232 Still waters and all that. 194 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,601 As it happens, Jones, your son 195 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,937 and I have a number of shared interests. 196 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:06,272 Oh, God. Like what? 197 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,640 Models. 198 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,642 He showed me his, I showed him mine. 199 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:12,579 -Hmm. -And then we-- we talked about death. 200 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,613 Did you? 201 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,648 [Daniel] Yeah. I told him being dead was shit. 202 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,510 And that I should know because I was for a bit. 203 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,719 And then, uh... [sighs] 204 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,655 I gave him a hug 'cause he seemed a bit sad. 205 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,325 And then that made me sad because... [sighs] 206 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,270 -[Bridget] How is your boy? -[groans] 207 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,129 Enzo's, what? He's... 208 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,231 Uh, **** knows, Jones. Fifteen, I think. 209 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:36,169 Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up by digging out the ****tail shaker, 210 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,138 and I taught him how to make a Dirty *****. 211 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,739 Saved it for you. It's in the fridge. 212 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,750 -Goody. Have it for breakfast. -[phone rings] 213 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,177 Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. 214 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,779 Geminita. 215 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,810 Yeah, we're all done. All done. I'm on my way. 216 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,117 Well, as quick as I can. 217 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:54,888 Yes, like naughty old moth to eager young flame. 218 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,357 No, you hang up first. 219 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,193 And-- OK, kiss you back. 220 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,761 -[laughs] -[Daniel sighs] 221 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,640 [stammers] Yeah, OK. Louder. Yeah. [kisses] 222 00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:05,932 -Oh, my God. -[phone closes] 223 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,350 [laughing] 224 00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:11,371 **** off, Jones. OK, they're asleep. 225 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,807 Um... [sighs] ...it did take a bit of time. 226 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,942 But I-- Actually I showed them a video of Geminita 227 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,845 reciting one of her prose poems and they were out like a light. 228 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,146 [scoffs] 229 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:22,682 All right. 230 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:27,870 [sighs] What happens now? 231 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,956 I'm trying to remember how it worked with our babysitters. 232 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,827 I think you give me 20 quid and try and shag me, don't you? 233 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:37,130 [Bridget] Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel. 234 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,866 At least some things never change. 235 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,236 It makes me sad though, Jones. You know... 236 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:48,308 two children and you all alone and effectively a nun. 237 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,678 Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun. 238 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,118 Bye, Daniel. 239 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,285 Yeah. 240 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,821 Thanks for tonight. 241 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,889 Yeah. 242 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,397 [Bridget] Why are these lights still on? 243 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,732 I thought you two were asleep. 244 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,136 Do you miss Dada sometimes? 245 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,271 I miss him all of the times. 246 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,406 [Mabel gasps] 247 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:26,112 [gasps] There's my owl. 248 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,140 [Bridget] Back to bed. Come on. 249 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,283 -Story, Mama? -[Bridget] Mm-hmm. 250 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:41,428 For the baby princess is as kind as she is fair. 251 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:48,301 And the baby prince is as gentle as he is handsome. 252 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:52,472 And wherever they go and whatever they do, 253 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,176 Mummy and Daddy will always love them. 254 00:12:56,209 --> 00:13:00,880 -And Saliva. -[laughs, coughs] 255 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,170 She stinks, Mabes. 256 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,860 -[Mabel chuckles] -Oh! 257 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,821 [chuckles] 258 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,861 -Good night, darling. -Good night, Mama. 259 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:22,869 Good night. 260 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,373 [Billy] And all the thoughts... 261 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,946 And all the thoughts are going away. 262 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:37,350 They don't need little Billy and Mabel tonight. 263 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,787 The world will turn without them. 264 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,890 [Bridget and Mark] The stars will shine without them. 265 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:50,296 And all little Billy and Mabel need to do is rest and sleep. 266 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,266 Good night. 267 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,680 Night. 268 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:01,841 [Mark] Good night, Billy. 269 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,544 -Do the song, Daddy. Please. -[Mark] OK. 270 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:09,949 * I'll do anything For you, dear* 271 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,451 * Anything* 272 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:16,423 * For you mean everything To me* 273 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,959 [Netflix start-up sound playing] 274 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,261 [clicks] 275 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,364 All by myself 47. 276 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,834 Shitballs. 277 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,907 No. ****-bollocking ****-bubbles! 278 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,544 [Bridget growls] 279 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,130 [Bridget] Literally everyone else in the whole country 280 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,382 is laughing uproariously with their partners 281 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,587 You don't want to wallow in it, darling. 282 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,156 [Bridget] And there they are again. 283 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,226 All the voices, all the advice. 284 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,228 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge. Wallow. 285 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:59,299 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E. 286 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,635 [laughing] It's I-E. It's not E-I. 287 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:06,306 No, it's, "I before E except after C." 288 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,907 Yes, exactly. 289 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:11,177 God, you really are such a T-W-T-A. 290 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,612 -[Tom] A what? -[Shaz laughs] 291 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,514 [Bridget] The thing about advice is, 292 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,385 no one tells you the same thing twice. 293 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,521 Bridget, you've got to put the children first. 294 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:25,258 [Bridget] Uh-huh. Thank you, Magda. Yes. 295 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:28,940 Put the children first. 296 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,329 Sod the children. 297 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:32,298 Put your own oxygen mask on first. 298 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,201 [Bridget] Right. Oxygen mask. 299 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,469 Got it. 300 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,405 One thing's for certain, Bridge. 301 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,944 [Bridget] Thank you, Richard. I'll bear that in mind. 302 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,694 But as my dad said just before he died, 303 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,630 the big question is... 304 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,699 Can you survive? 305 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,703 I think so. 306 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:11,971 I have to. 307 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,308 I'm trying. 308 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,980 It's not enough to survive. You've got to live. 309 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,517 Is that the Dalai Lama? 310 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,420 It's Harry Styles, I think. 311 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,855 -[door opens] -[Bridget's mother] Colin. 312 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,558 -Is that a sausage? -What sausage? 313 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:35,362 Bridget, you know what the doctor said about saturated fats. 314 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:39,466 Pam, could you take a photograph of us? Me and Bridget. 315 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,270 Um... 316 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,875 Colin, try not to do that with your chin. 317 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,810 I'm not doing anything with my chin. 318 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,751 Promise me you'll live, Bridget. 319 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,354 Smile! 320 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,429 [shutter clicks] 321 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,210 [sighs] 322 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,810 ["Modern Love" playing] 323 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:05,452 [Bridget] Bridget Jones, it's time to live. 324 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:09,856 * I know when to go out* 325 00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:12,459 * Know when to stay in* 326 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,280 * Get things done* 327 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,534 * I catch a paper boy* 328 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,704 * But things Don't really change* 329 00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:26,906 * I'm standing in the wind* 330 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,609 * But I never wave bye-bye* 331 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,544 [yawns] 332 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,614 * But I try* 333 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,384 * I try* 334 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:42,220 * Never gonna fall for* 335 00:18:42,550 --> 00:18:43,890 * Modern love* 336 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,858 * Walks beside me* 337 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:45,959 * Modern love* 338 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,560 * Walks on by* 339 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,661 * Modern love* 340 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,763 * Gets me to* 341 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,766 * The church on time* 342 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,967 * Church on time* 343 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,669 * Terrifies me* 344 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:56,703 * Church on time* 345 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,904 * Makes me party* 346 00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,439 * Church on time* 347 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:03,430 * Puts my trust in God and man* 348 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:04,577 * God and man* 349 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,779 * No confession* 350 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,980 * God and man* 351 00:19:07,130 --> 00:19:08,581 * No religion* 352 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:09,916 * God and man* 353 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,586 * Don't believe in modern love* 354 00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:51,891 * It's not really work* 355 00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:53,993 * It's just the power to charm* 356 00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:56,863 * I'm still standing in The wind* 357 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,733 * But I never wave bye-bye* 358 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,571 * But I try* 359 00:20:05,739 --> 00:20:07,173 * I try* 360 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:11,111 * Never gonna fall for* 361 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,779 * Modern love* 362 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,140 * Walks beside me* 363 00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:15,515 * Modern love* 364 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,649 * Walks on by* 365 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:17,751 * Modern love* 366 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,819 * Gets me to the church* 367 00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,654 * On time* 368 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,230 * Modern love...* 369 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,824 [Bridget] Right. You've got your pencil case, 370 00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:26,693 your lunch, your homework? 371 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,940 -Your keys? -[Bridget] Ooh. 372 00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:30,196 -[Mabel blows recorder] -Well, 373 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,330 you've definitely got your recorder so that's good. 374 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,669 Your lovely picture of a spaceship. 375 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,604 It's a cat. 376 00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:40,674 Oh, yes. Of course it is, darling. 377 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,975 What paints did you use? 378 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,878 I used the lipsticks with the C's on them. 379 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,646 -Oh. So creative. -Handbag? 380 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,114 Oh, **** a duck. 381 00:20:48,148 --> 00:20:49,683 [postman] Hello, Billy. 382 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:50,817 [Billy] Morning. 383 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,619 [postman] Hello, Mabel. 384 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:53,620 Morning, Bridget. 385 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:54,721 Hi. 386 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,122 Just the usual crap. 387 00:20:56,156 --> 00:20:58,792 Are you going to be my new daddy? 388 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,829 -[child 1] No, Mum! -[child 2] No! Mum! 389 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,300 When I signed up for having children, 390 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,699 I did not sign up to be ruled by 391 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:07,634 a gaggle of computer crackheads. 392 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,935 Well, guess what? 393 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,710 I've had you, I've brought you up, 394 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,239 and I've changed my mind! 395 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:16,976 [children] No! No, no, no! 396 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,979 Don't you touch those or I'll ****ing enter you in Squid Game. 397 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:21,470 Here, darling. 398 00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:22,882 -Come, come. -Mum! 399 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,617 Why don't we ever say hello? 400 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,253 [Bridget] Oh. Important life lesson, darling. 401 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,622 Never meet your heroes. 402 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,163 [Bridget] Starting today, will not set things on fire, 403 00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:41,334 will responsibly reset passwords not to include the word "****wit," 404 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:45,500 and will not be frightened of the school mums... 405 00:21:45,380 --> 00:21:46,639 Hi. 406 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:50,143 ...in particular, Perfect Nicolette... 407 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:51,878 [whistle blows] 408 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,470 ...with her perfect twins. 409 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:55,949 [whistle blowing] 410 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,985 Move the car! There's no parking in front of the school. 411 00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:00,820 -How are you? -What? 412 00:22:00,854 --> 00:22:02,989 I-I thought you were in LA. 413 00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:06,159 -Right. -Mr Walliker? 414 00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:09,195 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been selected for the choir for some reason. 415 00:22:09,229 --> 00:22:11,231 -Correct. -Well, how can that be? 416 00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:13,733 Because he can't sing. Anything else, Mrs Soltani-Watkins? 417 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,736 Mr Walliker, if you have failed to recognise Eros's obvious talents, 418 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,638 -that's hardly his fault. -It's really quite simple. 419 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:21,241 The choir, like everything else in nature, is chosen on merit. 420 00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:23,643 Yeah, natural selection. 421 00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:26,460 If Eros wants to put in the work, he's welcome to audition again. 422 00:22:26,790 --> 00:22:28,480 If you'll excuse me. [blows whistle] Bike! 423 00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:29,849 -Bike! Not there. Not there. -[scoffs] 424 00:22:29,883 --> 00:22:31,217 Who's that? 425 00:22:31,251 --> 00:22:33,319 Oh. New science teacher. Mr Walliker. 426 00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:34,854 [Bridget] Instant hero. 427 00:22:34,888 --> 00:22:36,656 Unbelievably rude. 428 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,924 He's awful. 429 00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:40,293 Move along, please. Right away! 430 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:44,664 You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath. 431 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:48,335 You don't see me unfolding deck chairs and unwrapping sandwiches, do you? 432 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:51,204 Move it inside! It's choir in eight minutes. 433 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,907 Mr Walliker. Hello. 434 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,208 I don't believe we've met. 435 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,776 I'm Billy Darcy's mum. 436 00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,279 The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus. 437 00:22:59,312 --> 00:23:01,815 The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy. 438 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:04,500 Mmm. An essential tool? 439 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,386 What an apt description. [chuckles] 440 00:23:08,188 --> 00:23:10,357 [blows whistle] Eros! Atticus! 441 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:13,226 If you're late, you will regret it for the rest of your days. 442 00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:14,661 -[Eros, Atticus whimper] -Sorry, sir! 443 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:18,832 [bell rings] 444 00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:22,402 No! 445 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,500 She'll be back later. 446 00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:26,239 We have a doctor's appointment. 447 00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:27,907 I've got worms! 448 00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:31,277 Why is your granny wearing pyjamas? 449 00:23:33,790 --> 00:23:34,881 [Bridget] That went well. 450 00:23:37,170 --> 00:23:39,753 "G-O-N-O"-- 451 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,388 [Bridget] That's lovely, darling. 452 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,223 -"R-H"... -There you go. 453 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:45,125 One tablet a day for the entire family, 454 00:23:45,158 --> 00:23:48,361 and if her itching doesn't stop, I suggest you get rid of that cat. 455 00:23:48,395 --> 00:23:50,730 [clears throat] Have you got some help yet? 456 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:52,766 I know it doesn't look it, but really, 457 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,201 -I've got it all in hand. -No, it doesn't look it. 458 00:23:55,235 --> 00:23:58,438 Apart from anything else, I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician. 459 00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:02,142 And whilst I'm happy to step in, you do take my point. 460 00:24:02,175 --> 00:24:05,879 If you say "oxygen mask" to me again, I will hit you with this handbag. 461 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,213 I am not afraid of handbags. 462 00:24:07,247 --> 00:24:09,349 You need something else to do. 463 00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:11,785 You need a reason to get out of those pyjamas. 464 00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:13,887 Well, fashion's never really been your thing. 465 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,220 -Rude. -Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan. 466 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,359 Bridget, in spite of all objective evidence to the contrary, 467 00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:21,361 you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman. 468 00:24:21,394 --> 00:24:23,897 And my professional advice to you is this. 469 00:24:23,930 --> 00:24:25,198 -You need-- -No. No, no, no. 470 00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:26,866 Please don't tell me to go and have ***. 471 00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:28,101 Oh, good Lord, no. 472 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,236 [scoffs] No. 473 00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:32,772 Read a book. Clean out the kitchen drawers. 474 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:35,410 Leave the pink bits well enough alone. 475 00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:36,309 You'll be ready when you're ready. 476 00:24:36,343 --> 00:24:39,112 No, my professional advice to you is this: 477 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,448 go back to work. 478 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:43,216 And how's your love life? 479 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:45,819 On fire. 480 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:49,289 "Sy-P-Lis." 481 00:24:52,292 --> 00:24:55,862 -[Bridget] Mmm. -Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis. 482 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:56,996 Syphilis. 483 00:24:57,300 --> 00:24:59,265 Mmm. Very good. Very good. 484 00:24:59,299 --> 00:25:02,335 And there's some delicious vegetarian alternatives here too. 485 00:25:02,369 --> 00:25:04,170 [both chuckle] 486 00:25:04,204 --> 00:25:06,973 Floods, fires and famine. 487 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,976 As the world teeters on the edge of climate catastrophe, 488 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:12,812 sausages aren't the only thing we are grilling today. 489 00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:16,483 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens joins us after the break. 490 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:19,185 [theme music playing on TV] 491 00:25:19,219 --> 00:25:20,820 [phone rings] 492 00:25:20,854 --> 00:25:22,122 Hi. 493 00:25:22,155 --> 00:25:23,223 Oh, thank God you picked up. 494 00:25:23,256 --> 00:25:25,225 -[spits] -What's the matter? 495 00:25:25,258 --> 00:25:27,827 They've got the bloody Environment Secretary on in 45 seconds 496 00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:30,530 and they've got me asking her questions about bloody tea bags. 497 00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,832 "What's the best way to recycle tea bags?" 498 00:25:32,866 --> 00:25:34,868 "Can you clean surfaces with tea"... 499 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:35,902 I need you, Bridget! 500 00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:37,837 OK. Uh... 501 00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:39,539 Ask her... [gasps] 502 00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:41,908 Ask her why there were no tax breaks for renewable energy 503 00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:43,810 -in last week's budget. -Brilliant. 504 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,346 She'll fob you off with some crap about economic constraints 505 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:50,450 and then you nail her on oil and gas companies ring-fencing their profits. 506 00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:53,530 -Yes, I do. -[chuckles] She'll flap! 507 00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:56,856 And then you nuke her **** on the government's support for fracking. 508 00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:57,991 [gasps] Ooh. 509 00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,926 I fracking love you, Bridget Jones. 510 00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,528 -Hi, Bridge. -Yes! 511 00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:05,365 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out about the tea bags though. 512 00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:07,333 -Love you. Bye. Bye. -Love you. Bye! [kisses] 513 00:26:09,336 --> 00:26:10,870 Welcome back. 514 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,272 Our next guest is 515 00:26:12,305 --> 00:26:14,407 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens. 516 00:26:14,441 --> 00:26:19,212 Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking. 517 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,181 Justify. 518 00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:22,582 And no fob-off! 519 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:29,222 Could you please put me through to Richard Finch's office? 520 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,324 My name's Bridget Jones. 521 00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:34,594 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks. 522 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,650 [sighs] 523 00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:45,710 [video game beeps] 524 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:53,460 Billy, I want to watch SpongeBob. 525 00:26:54,314 --> 00:26:55,648 Billy, come off that, please. 526 00:26:55,682 --> 00:26:57,350 You've had your screen time. 527 00:26:58,251 --> 00:27:00,153 One, two... 528 00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:01,588 But, Mummy, it's Sunday. 529 00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:02,489 No. 530 00:27:02,522 --> 00:27:03,590 Can I watch SpongeBob? 531 00:27:03,623 --> 00:27:06,326 May I watch SpongeBob. 532 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,927 Yes? 533 00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:10,163 No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I." 534 00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:11,331 May I watch SpongeBob? 535 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:13,933 -No. -But, Mummy! 536 00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,502 No, no, no, no. 537 00:27:15,535 --> 00:27:18,171 No more screens, either of you. 538 00:27:18,204 --> 00:27:20,573 Screens have been proven to shorten attention spans and... 539 00:27:20,607 --> 00:27:22,275 -[phone chimes] -Ooh! 540 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,110 No. 541 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:26,279 Will you come and practise cricket with me in the garden? 542 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:28,948 Mummy really needs to work, darling. Why don't you play with Mabel? 543 00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:31,918 She refuses to hit the ball. She says she feels sorry for Ball-y. 544 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:33,486 Ball-y. 545 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,155 Darling, please go and play cricket with Billy. 546 00:27:35,188 --> 00:27:37,123 I may not! 547 00:27:39,125 --> 00:27:40,427 [video game beeps continue] 548 00:27:45,298 --> 00:27:49,202 Is it too much to ask to get some bloody peace all by my bloody self 549 00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:51,137 for five bloody minutes? 550 00:27:51,171 --> 00:27:52,672 [Billy] Internet's down! 551 00:27:52,706 --> 00:27:54,474 [Mabel] I want to watch SpongeBob. 552 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:56,643 Tell Billy it's my turn. 553 00:27:56,676 --> 00:28:00,413 -[Billy] Mummy! -I don't want to be a mummy right now. 554 00:28:00,447 --> 00:28:02,115 [Billy] You had it for ages! 555 00:28:02,148 --> 00:28:04,651 [Mabel] I didn't even have it today. It's my turn! 556 00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:06,252 -[Billy] Mummy! -[Bridget screams] 557 00:28:06,286 --> 00:28:07,554 [Billy] There's no Internet! 558 00:28:07,587 --> 00:28:10,390 I just want to sit down 559 00:28:10,423 --> 00:28:15,280 in echoing silence on my own for one moment. 560 00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:17,530 -[Billy] Mummy! Mummy! -Just shut up! 561 00:28:17,564 --> 00:28:18,631 [clamouring stops] 562 00:28:25,105 --> 00:28:26,172 [music playing] 563 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,409 [cartoon character 1] Shark bait! 564 00:28:29,442 --> 00:28:30,643 Come and get it! 565 00:28:30,677 --> 00:28:32,412 -[Billy chuckles] -[chuckles] 566 00:28:32,445 --> 00:28:33,980 [cartoon character 2] Okay. You asked for it! 567 00:28:34,140 --> 00:28:35,248 Miranda? 568 00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:36,549 All right, Bridge? 569 00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:38,752 What're you doing here? 570 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:42,220 So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House 571 00:28:42,550 --> 00:28:46,292 and it was so, so quiet, you know? 572 00:28:46,326 --> 00:28:48,695 I just miss all this. 573 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:54,467 Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life. 574 00:28:54,501 --> 00:28:56,169 Plenty of that here. 575 00:28:56,202 --> 00:28:57,437 You don't have any champagne. 576 00:28:57,470 --> 00:28:59,305 Top tip: 577 00:28:59,339 --> 00:29:02,509 always keep a cold bottle of champagne 578 00:29:02,542 --> 00:29:04,544 in the fridge for emergencies. 579 00:29:05,445 --> 00:29:07,380 That's excellent advice. 580 00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:08,615 Cards on the table, 581 00:29:08,648 --> 00:29:12,118 I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs. 582 00:29:12,152 --> 00:29:15,255 Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark 583 00:29:15,288 --> 00:29:16,423 to get sperm. 584 00:29:16,456 --> 00:29:17,757 -Oh. -Yeah. 585 00:29:17,791 --> 00:29:21,161 But I want what you have. All of this. 586 00:29:21,194 --> 00:29:25,398 But Soho House and-and Sunday papers and cold champagne-- 587 00:29:25,432 --> 00:29:26,766 You're free, Bridge. 588 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,700 You're liberated from the tyranny of this. 589 00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:33,340 Do you know how many dating apps I use? 590 00:29:33,373 --> 00:29:34,574 Could you look ***y? 591 00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:36,209 Well, I mean... 592 00:29:36,242 --> 00:29:39,612 I might still brush up OK given enough time. 593 00:29:39,646 --> 00:29:41,810 No, I mean for this photo. 594 00:29:41,114 --> 00:29:42,215 [shutter clicks] 595 00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:43,416 I've set you up on Tinder. 596 00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:45,352 -What? -You're welcome. 597 00:29:45,385 --> 00:29:47,620 -Oh, no, no, no, no, no. -Well, I've popped you down as a widow. 598 00:29:47,654 --> 00:29:49,622 It's so much more romantic and singular. 599 00:29:49,656 --> 00:29:52,525 We all agree it's what you need. 600 00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:55,950 [Mabel] What's Tinder? 601 00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,363 It's... 602 00:29:56,396 --> 00:29:59,399 such a lovely day. 603 00:29:59,432 --> 00:30:03,103 Who wants to, um, go to the heath? 604 00:30:03,136 --> 00:30:05,405 -No, I don't wanna go! -No, SpongeBob! 605 00:30:05,438 --> 00:30:07,774 Oh, OK. That's no problem. 606 00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:09,275 Uh, sure. 607 00:30:09,309 --> 00:30:10,844 Um, you stay here, 608 00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:16,549 and I'll just, uh, take these chocolate buttons. Ooh! 609 00:30:16,583 --> 00:30:19,786 -Let's go, nutters! -Can't wait! 610 00:30:19,819 --> 00:30:22,255 Children and fresh air and white chocolate buttons. 611 00:30:22,288 --> 00:30:24,758 -I feel like Julie Andrews! -[phone beeps] 612 00:30:24,791 --> 00:30:26,659 Oh! I just got matched with someone. 613 00:30:26,693 --> 00:30:28,395 Sorry, Mabel, could you just get off, actually, 614 00:30:28,428 --> 00:30:29,729 'cause you're killing my back. 615 00:30:29,763 --> 00:30:33,633 Uh, he's on a street corner... in a van. 616 00:30:35,902 --> 00:30:38,538 -He looks like Jason Statham... -Mmm. 617 00:30:38,571 --> 00:30:40,340 ...if you squint. 618 00:30:40,373 --> 00:30:41,675 In a bit, Bridge. 619 00:30:41,708 --> 00:30:43,276 Bye, kids. See you. 620 00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:44,811 -[both] Bye! -Bye. 621 00:30:46,546 --> 00:30:47,647 [makes whooshing noise] 622 00:30:50,483 --> 00:30:54,854 [Bridget] Oh, how everything calms down once you're outside in blue skies 623 00:30:54,888 --> 00:30:58,558 turning the children into biddable lemurs. 624 00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:02,662 Will obviously delete Tinder immediately. 625 00:31:02,696 --> 00:31:04,864 But perhaps a very quick look first. 626 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:11,838 Keith? 627 00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:14,741 Who are you, Keith? 628 00:31:17,277 --> 00:31:21,581 [gasps] Feel suddenly exposed to whole new world hiding in plain sight 629 00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:23,516 like Narnia through back of wardrobe, 630 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:26,252 but with lion and witch shagging. 631 00:31:26,286 --> 00:31:29,155 [Billy] Mummy! Mabel's stuck up the tree! 632 00:31:29,189 --> 00:31:31,324 -How'd she get up there? -[Mabel] Mummy! 633 00:31:31,358 --> 00:31:32,359 Coming! 634 00:31:33,626 --> 00:31:34,728 [gasps] 635 00:31:37,197 --> 00:31:37,864 Okay. 636 00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:40,300 No, it's... it's all right. 637 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:43,303 -[Billy] I can't get down either. -It's all right. I'm here. 638 00:31:44,537 --> 00:31:45,605 Uh. 639 00:31:45,638 --> 00:31:47,607 [Walliker] Billy. Is that you? 640 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,676 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker. 641 00:31:49,709 --> 00:31:51,644 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy? 642 00:31:51,678 --> 00:31:54,547 [sighs] Yep. Super. 643 00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:56,216 Just climbing a tree. 644 00:31:56,249 --> 00:31:58,218 -I can see that. -[Bridget chuckles] 645 00:31:58,251 --> 00:31:58,918 Having fun? 646 00:31:58,952 --> 00:32:01,388 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun. 647 00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:02,389 [breathes heavily] 648 00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:06,359 -You sure you don't need a hand? -No, no. 649 00:32:06,393 --> 00:32:07,894 As Einstein said, 650 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:11,398 "What goes up must come down." 651 00:32:11,431 --> 00:32:13,233 -Newton. -Yes. 652 00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:15,368 Newton. [chuckles] 653 00:32:15,402 --> 00:32:16,736 We're going to die! 654 00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:19,372 No, we're not going to die. We're having fun. 655 00:32:19,406 --> 00:32:21,641 [Bridget] We are definitely going to die. 656 00:32:21,675 --> 00:32:23,943 Clearly you've got this nicely in hand. 657 00:32:24,911 --> 00:32:26,880 Look, there's a policeman. 658 00:32:30,517 --> 00:32:31,851 [Bridget] Oh, my God. 659 00:32:31,885 --> 00:32:34,220 I've climbed a magical man tree. 660 00:32:35,288 --> 00:32:36,456 -Are you stuck? -[Mabel] Yes! 661 00:32:36,489 --> 00:32:38,258 No. [chuckles] 662 00:32:38,291 --> 00:32:40,694 -Do they need help? -Apparently not. 663 00:32:42,429 --> 00:32:44,464 So, I'll... I'll be off then. 664 00:32:45,310 --> 00:32:46,232 Bye-bye. 665 00:32:49,536 --> 00:32:51,538 Okay. I'll be off too. 666 00:32:51,571 --> 00:32:53,707 Don't go away. 667 00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:55,809 [Bridget] No, seriously. Don't go away. 668 00:32:55,842 --> 00:32:58,378 Hang on. I'm coming. 669 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:00,580 [heath ranger] Okay. Coming up. 670 00:33:00,613 --> 00:33:02,382 [straining] 671 00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:04,451 Uh... 672 00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:06,286 Hello. 673 00:33:06,319 --> 00:33:08,221 [heath ranger] Okay, just... Hang on. 674 00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:11,257 -[grunting] -[Bridget strains] 675 00:33:13,393 --> 00:33:14,361 Hello. 676 00:33:14,394 --> 00:33:15,562 Hi, mate. 677 00:33:15,595 --> 00:33:16,863 -Hi, what's your name? -Mabel. 678 00:33:16,896 --> 00:33:19,320 -Mabel. -I can't jump down. 679 00:33:19,650 --> 00:33:19,999 [Mabel chuckles] 680 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:22,469 Okay. Well, you sit down there. 681 00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:25,338 You get comfy, and I'm gonna go down there and catch you, OK? 682 00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:28,575 -Okay, you ready? -Yeah. 683 00:33:28,608 --> 00:33:30,477 Three, two, one, go! 684 00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:33,446 -[Mabel] I did it! -[heath ranger] I've got you. Well done. 685 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,150 All right, big man. Your turn. 686 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,917 Okay. You got this, mate. There we go. 687 00:33:37,951 --> 00:33:39,319 -Next foot. -[Bridget] That's it, darling. 688 00:33:39,352 --> 00:33:41,588 [heath ranger] And I've got you. [grunts] 689 00:33:41,621 --> 00:33:43,390 Okay, Mum. 690 00:33:43,423 --> 00:33:44,691 -Okay. -[squeals] 691 00:33:44,724 --> 00:33:45,825 There we go. [chuckles] 692 00:33:45,859 --> 00:33:47,460 -Okay. -Okay. 693 00:33:47,494 --> 00:33:48,461 -[chuckles] -[grunts] 694 00:33:49,729 --> 00:33:51,364 -You all right? -[chuckling] Yes. 695 00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:53,767 Yes. [chuckles] 696 00:33:54,534 --> 00:33:55,769 Okay. 697 00:33:56,770 --> 00:33:57,771 Thank you. 698 00:33:59,739 --> 00:34:01,341 Thank you. 699 00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:02,420 It's all right. 700 00:34:03,843 --> 00:34:06,479 Uh, I'm Roxby. But you can call me Roxster. 701 00:34:07,580 --> 00:34:08,682 Bridget Jones. 702 00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:10,450 But you can call her Mummy. 703 00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:12,519 Hmm. Okay. 704 00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:14,354 [Roxster] Oh. 705 00:34:15,922 --> 00:34:17,230 I think this is yours. 706 00:34:19,659 --> 00:34:20,794 Thanks. 707 00:34:22,696 --> 00:34:24,300 Anything else I can help with? 708 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:25,498 [Bridget] God, yes. 709 00:34:25,532 --> 00:34:26,533 No. 710 00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:28,968 Okay. 711 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,371 It's nice to meet you, Roxy. [chuckles] 712 00:34:31,938 --> 00:34:33,730 It's Roxster. 713 00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:35,508 [both chuckle] 714 00:34:35,542 --> 00:34:38,780 You too, Bridget Jones. 715 00:34:44,551 --> 00:34:47,420 [Bridget] Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis 716 00:34:47,454 --> 00:34:51,758 and reentering world of flirting simultaneously with workforce. 717 00:34:51,791 --> 00:34:54,728 -Mrs Darcy. -Mr Walliker. 718 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:58,531 Weapon at the ready, I see. [chuckles] 719 00:34:58,565 --> 00:35:01,835 Good to see you managed to extricate yourself from that tree. 720 00:35:01,868 --> 00:35:04,404 Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game. 721 00:35:04,437 --> 00:35:08,508 We're completely obsessed with the outdoors in our house. [chuckles] 722 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:11,478 Well, I'll have to put you down for our Outward Bound trip next term. 723 00:35:11,511 --> 00:35:12,946 Sounds like it'd be right up your street. 724 00:35:12,979 --> 00:35:14,614 [Bridget] ****ing ****. 725 00:35:14,647 --> 00:35:16,683 Yeah. Good. 726 00:35:16,716 --> 00:35:19,519 Do you have my slime? I promised I'd show Cosmata. 727 00:35:21,521 --> 00:35:22,622 Oh. 728 00:35:25,158 --> 00:35:26,526 [Mabel] Hey, those are mine. 729 00:35:26,559 --> 00:35:27,961 Give them to me. 730 00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:30,960 [Mabel strains] 731 00:35:30,130 --> 00:35:33,566 They are actually hers. 732 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,634 Well, in that case... 733 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,720 [bell rings] 734 00:35:39,105 --> 00:35:40,874 [Perfect Nicolette] Bridget! 735 00:35:40,907 --> 00:35:42,609 You're dressed properly. 736 00:35:43,443 --> 00:35:44,711 Odd. 737 00:35:44,744 --> 00:35:46,579 Heading to a meeting. 738 00:35:46,613 --> 00:35:48,982 Thinking about going back to my old job. 739 00:35:49,150 --> 00:35:52,520 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down for Jobs Day then. 740 00:35:52,850 --> 00:35:53,853 [Bridget] ****ing ****ety **** ****. 741 00:35:53,887 --> 00:35:56,189 Yes, absolutely. 742 00:35:56,222 --> 00:35:59,125 [speaking French] Celestine, merci. C'est gentil. 743 00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:01,594 Actually, do you mind tidying this up a little bit? 744 00:36:01,628 --> 00:36:03,960 Sure. 745 00:36:03,129 --> 00:36:04,864 Uh, what about the children? Do you have a nanny? 746 00:36:04,898 --> 00:36:06,199 Not yet. 747 00:36:06,232 --> 00:36:08,935 Oh, I've got the perfect person. She's excellent. 748 00:36:08,968 --> 00:36:11,400 She's very pretty, but that doesn't matter, Bridget, 749 00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:13,730 because you don't have a husband, 750 00:36:13,106 --> 00:36:16,900 so it's absolutely immaterial how pretty and perfect she is. [chuckles] 751 00:36:16,420 --> 00:36:18,144 -Sounds good. -There we go. 752 00:36:18,178 --> 00:36:20,580 -Francesca. -Sorry. 753 00:36:20,613 --> 00:36:21,915 Wonderful. 754 00:36:21,948 --> 00:36:24,170 It's nothing. I just threw it together. 755 00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:25,552 -Ah. -[kisses] 756 00:36:25,585 --> 00:36:27,520 Bridget? Your donation? 757 00:36:28,540 --> 00:36:29,589 You didn't forget? 758 00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:32,920 No. [chuckles] 759 00:36:32,125 --> 00:36:35,280 Certainly not. [chuckles] 760 00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:38,310 Uh, let's see. 761 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,499 Here we are. 762 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,702 Hummus. 763 00:36:42,736 --> 00:36:44,170 And, uh... 764 00:36:49,809 --> 00:36:51,911 [Perfect Nicolette] Rice cakes. 765 00:36:51,945 --> 00:36:55,782 And look, they've even been opened already. 766 00:36:55,815 --> 00:36:57,830 [chuckles] 767 00:36:57,117 --> 00:36:59,185 -Lovely. -[phone beeps] 768 00:36:59,219 --> 00:37:02,822 Ah. Her name's Chloe, and she'll be with you at 6:30. 769 00:37:02,856 --> 00:37:03,890 [whistle blows] 770 00:37:03,923 --> 00:37:05,658 Raef! India! Get inside. 771 00:37:05,692 --> 00:37:07,930 That's enough chatting. 772 00:37:08,962 --> 00:37:10,230 Bridget Jones. 773 00:37:11,310 --> 00:37:12,232 Thank you. 774 00:37:43,997 --> 00:37:45,532 Four. 775 00:37:45,565 --> 00:37:46,266 [elevator] Four. 776 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,883 -Three. -[elevator] Three. 777 00:38:03,917 --> 00:38:05,819 Thank you. 778 00:38:07,987 --> 00:38:09,656 [Bridget] This is Bridget Jones about to 779 00:38:09,689 --> 00:38:13,193 go into an actual in-person meeting. 780 00:38:15,161 --> 00:38:17,664 -Brenda Jones? -Oh, actually, it's-- 781 00:38:17,697 --> 00:38:20,333 Bridget Jones, there you are. Excellent. Quick, come with me. 782 00:38:20,367 --> 00:38:22,602 -Thank you, Lizzie. -Thanks. 783 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,390 Good to see ya. How have you been? 784 00:38:27,173 --> 00:38:28,975 You look hot. 785 00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:31,277 Oh. Thank you, Richard. [chuckles] 786 00:38:31,311 --> 00:38:34,647 But I think you'll find that sort of language is a little outmoded 787 00:38:34,681 --> 00:38:36,916 -in the workplace. -No, I mean flustered. 788 00:38:36,950 --> 00:38:38,651 Are you going through the, uh, you know? 789 00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:44,290 Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha. 790 00:38:44,324 --> 00:38:47,927 [Talitha] Richard, what am I supposed to do with this, huh? 791 00:38:47,961 --> 00:38:49,763 Does it climb? Does it stand on one leg? 792 00:38:49,796 --> 00:38:52,298 Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise. It doesn't do anything. 793 00:38:52,332 --> 00:38:54,801 [producer] He can't pull out. Who the **** does he think he is? 794 00:38:54,834 --> 00:38:56,836 Arrogant, self-important prick. 795 00:38:56,870 --> 00:39:00,730 Tell that selfish ****hole he can rot in hell. 796 00:39:00,106 --> 00:39:01,975 The Dalai Lama's cancelled. 797 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,440 Twat. Shit. 798 00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:07,147 Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air. 799 00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:08,915 We need a replacement. Let me make a call. 800 00:39:08,948 --> 00:39:10,216 I do Krav Maga with Fergie. 801 00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:11,985 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea? 802 00:39:12,180 --> 00:39:14,540 Duchess. She could be here in 45. 803 00:39:14,870 --> 00:39:17,891 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones. Best producer we've ever had. 804 00:39:17,924 --> 00:39:19,250 [Bridget] Oh. 805 00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:20,760 I'm sure you're very good too. 806 00:39:20,794 --> 00:39:21,928 Huge fan. 807 00:39:21,961 --> 00:39:23,163 Hold this. 808 00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:25,650 Loved your early work from Chechnya. 809 00:39:25,980 --> 00:39:28,668 [chuckles] Now I'm doing features on incontinent tortoises. 810 00:39:28,702 --> 00:39:29,936 Fergie. 811 00:39:29,969 --> 00:39:31,738 Are those glutes burning up? 812 00:39:31,771 --> 00:39:32,339 Hello. 813 00:39:32,372 --> 00:39:34,774 -Hey. Sorry. -Right. 814 00:39:34,808 --> 00:39:38,178 Uh, right. Let's get rid of this set, please, now! 815 00:39:38,211 --> 00:39:40,180 So, what do you think? 816 00:39:40,213 --> 00:39:41,948 Can we lure you back? 817 00:39:41,981 --> 00:39:43,950 [Talitha] Fergie's in. 818 00:39:43,983 --> 00:39:47,220 Does anyone know how to get tortoise piss out of silk? 819 00:39:47,253 --> 00:39:49,823 Blotting and mild detergent. 820 00:39:50,824 --> 00:39:52,158 When can I start? 821 00:39:54,461 --> 00:39:57,263 [Bridget] Am rejoining ranks of London's employed 822 00:39:57,297 --> 00:40:00,967 and meaningfully contributing to society. 823 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,839 Can walk with head held high and be role model for Billy and Mabel, 824 00:40:05,872 --> 00:40:10,410 saving them from otherwise certain future as alcoholic wards of the state. 825 00:40:12,779 --> 00:40:15,782 [Pamela] It's super that the television's invited you back. 826 00:40:15,815 --> 00:40:18,218 Of course, I always stayed at home when you were little. 827 00:40:18,251 --> 00:40:19,185 [Bridget] Classic Mum. 828 00:40:19,219 --> 00:40:20,854 Can't really talk, Mum. 829 00:40:20,887 --> 00:40:23,230 I've got to tidy up before the nanny gets here. 830 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:24,391 A nanny? Really? 831 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:28,280 Mummy doesn't love us anymore. Ow! 832 00:40:28,610 --> 00:40:30,897 [Bridget] Ever since Mum and Una moved into Audsley House, 833 00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:33,433 the retirement home we have to pretend is a hotel, 834 00:40:33,466 --> 00:40:35,268 the phone calls have been the same. 835 00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:37,937 [Una] Any men on the horizon, Bridget? 836 00:40:37,971 --> 00:40:41,410 Well, there's got to be someone. Some people don't mind a widow. 837 00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:42,742 [Bridget] Stings a bit. 838 00:40:42,776 --> 00:40:44,744 [Pamela] Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget. 839 00:40:44,778 --> 00:40:47,781 And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen 840 00:40:47,814 --> 00:40:50,450 -doing salmon in the sous vide. -[phone beeps] 841 00:40:50,483 --> 00:40:52,786 I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag, 842 00:40:52,819 --> 00:40:55,155 but everybody's doing it these days. 843 00:40:55,188 --> 00:40:57,757 [Bridget] Roxster. Definite development. 844 00:40:57,791 --> 00:40:59,292 [Mum] Cooking's never really been your thing. 845 00:40:59,325 --> 00:41:01,928 -[doorbell rings] -Oh, must go. Bye, Mum! 846 00:41:01,961 --> 00:41:02,962 [Pamela] Bye, bye. 847 00:41:02,996 --> 00:41:04,364 Oh, God, it's her. 848 00:41:07,133 --> 00:41:08,735 Hi, I'm Chloe. 849 00:41:09,869 --> 00:41:10,837 Hello. 850 00:41:12,339 --> 00:41:14,140 [Bridget] What the actual ****? 851 00:41:14,174 --> 00:41:16,810 She looks like a film star. 852 00:41:16,843 --> 00:41:18,311 Chloe, this is Mabel. 853 00:41:18,345 --> 00:41:21,810 Look, I can play the recorder with my nose. 854 00:41:21,114 --> 00:41:22,849 [plays recorder] 855 00:41:22,882 --> 00:41:25,185 Children, this is Chloe. 856 00:41:25,218 --> 00:41:27,187 She's going to come and help with everything. 857 00:41:27,220 --> 00:41:29,550 Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge, 858 00:41:29,890 --> 00:41:31,191 -but I've certainly seen worse. -Oh. 859 00:41:31,224 --> 00:41:34,160 Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius. 860 00:41:34,194 --> 00:41:38,640 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children. It adds undue pressure. 861 00:41:38,980 --> 00:41:40,166 Have you read How To Raise a Self-Driven Child? 862 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,801 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list, 863 00:41:41,835 --> 00:41:45,138 so do not spoil the ending. [chuckles] 864 00:41:45,171 --> 00:41:46,906 Oh, not to worry, Billy. 865 00:41:46,940 --> 00:41:48,842 It's not about the result. It's about the journey. 866 00:41:48,875 --> 00:41:51,144 There's something to learn whether you get an A or a C. 867 00:41:51,177 --> 00:41:54,481 [chuckles] Billy has never had a C in... 868 00:41:55,582 --> 00:41:56,282 Who did this? 869 00:41:56,316 --> 00:41:58,351 Mr Walliker. 870 00:41:58,385 --> 00:42:01,888 I drew the earth and the atmosphere, and I put heaven over the top. 871 00:42:01,921 --> 00:42:05,580 And Mr Walliker said that heaven was a religious construct. 872 00:42:05,910 --> 00:42:06,359 And he gave me a C. 873 00:42:06,393 --> 00:42:08,395 [gasps] Well, Mr Walliker 874 00:42:08,428 --> 00:42:11,164 is a whistle-obsessed fascist 875 00:42:11,197 --> 00:42:14,401 with all the soul of a non-stick wok. 876 00:42:14,434 --> 00:42:16,836 [Mabel] Where did you hide the chocolate digestives? 877 00:42:16,870 --> 00:42:19,406 -I didn't hide... -[crashing] 878 00:42:21,700 --> 00:42:22,420 ...anything. 879 00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:23,410 [dishes crash] 880 00:42:23,443 --> 00:42:26,346 Well, plenty to do here. 881 00:42:26,379 --> 00:42:28,181 ["Worth It" playing] 882 00:42:28,214 --> 00:42:30,850 * If my body was a boat Could you steer that, sailor? * 883 00:42:30,884 --> 00:42:34,254 * Make it feel Like it's a 1960s Hollywood trailer...* 884 00:42:34,287 --> 00:42:37,991 [Bridget] Consumed with guilt re hideously perfect nanny, 885 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,493 who children will obviously come to love more than hopeless mother 886 00:42:40,527 --> 00:42:42,429 -without film star hair. -[phone beeps] 887 00:42:42,462 --> 00:42:45,131 * Ooh, it's what I need Yes, 'cause* 888 00:42:45,165 --> 00:42:49,302 * I could love you* 889 00:42:49,336 --> 00:42:53,973 * If I really wanted to* 890 00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:57,410 * You could be Be my glass of wine* 891 00:42:57,444 --> 00:43:00,800 * When the sun set Help me exhale all the excess* 892 00:43:00,113 --> 00:43:03,583 * Baby, bae, b-b-bae B-b-baby, would you* 893 00:43:03,616 --> 00:43:06,860 -* Would you make it all right?* -[phone beeps] 894 00:43:06,119 --> 00:43:07,454 * Or maybe that much better?* 895 00:43:07,487 --> 00:43:09,155 * If you wanted You could make it* 896 00:43:09,189 --> 00:43:11,291 * All worth it, worth it Worth it, worth it* 897 00:43:11,324 --> 00:43:16,296 * Ooh, when I see the sun rising You make it that much better* 898 00:43:16,329 --> 00:43:19,165 * So I hope you're gonna make it All worth it, worth it...* 899 00:43:19,199 --> 00:43:22,569 [Bridget] And texting Roxster slowly became part of my life. 900 00:43:22,602 --> 00:43:26,639 A relationship with no necessity for actually meeting, 901 00:43:31,110 --> 00:43:35,148 - In other words, the perfect relationship. -[phone beeps] 902 00:43:35,181 --> 00:43:37,484 Is that the tree Adonis? 903 00:43:38,318 --> 00:43:40,553 Wait a minute. 904 00:43:40,587 --> 00:43:43,990 You wrote to him, "How are you liking Tinder?" 905 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:46,459 Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull. 906 00:43:46,493 --> 00:43:50,363 He replied, "Don't know, only joined it to find you, Bridget Jones." 907 00:43:51,431 --> 00:43:53,566 -Shag him now. -Mm-mmm. 908 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,436 Then he sent a smiley emoji 909 00:43:56,469 --> 00:44:00,373 and then you responded with the flag of Greece, 910 00:44:00,407 --> 00:44:04,110 an abacus and a duck. 911 00:44:07,180 --> 00:44:08,281 I panicked. 912 00:44:08,314 --> 00:44:09,549 [customer] Thank you. 913 00:44:09,582 --> 00:44:11,484 [checkout operator] Who's next? 914 00:44:11,518 --> 00:44:14,254 Do you want to go for a drink? 915 00:44:14,287 --> 00:44:16,489 I'm so flattered. 916 00:44:16,523 --> 00:44:19,250 Um, but I've got a boyfriend. 917 00:44:19,590 --> 00:44:22,962 Well, sort of got a boyfriend. I think. 918 00:44:22,996 --> 00:44:26,199 Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um... 919 00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,536 no, thank you. 920 00:44:29,569 --> 00:44:31,971 No, it's part of the meal deal. 921 00:44:34,207 --> 00:44:35,342 [Miranda chuckles] 922 00:44:35,375 --> 00:44:36,476 [Talitha] Well, this one's easy. 923 00:44:36,509 --> 00:44:39,279 You absolutely must go. Obviously. 924 00:44:39,312 --> 00:44:42,682 But we've been texting for so long now. I can't meet him. 925 00:44:42,716 --> 00:44:44,617 I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day 926 00:44:44,651 --> 00:44:46,453 when they did letter writing for months and months 927 00:44:46,486 --> 00:44:48,121 and then suddenly just got married. 928 00:44:48,154 --> 00:44:51,358 Bridget, ***ting a man that you just met in a park 929 00:44:51,391 --> 00:44:53,126 is nothing like Jane Austen's day. 930 00:44:53,159 --> 00:44:55,995 -If you don't shag him, I will. -I can't. 931 00:44:56,290 --> 00:44:59,366 There is no possibility of being naked with a man at this point in my life. 932 00:44:59,399 --> 00:45:01,568 You just need a little rebrand. 933 00:45:01,601 --> 00:45:03,269 You'll start by getting a slip. 934 00:45:03,303 --> 00:45:05,710 -A slip? -Yeah, with a slip, 935 00:45:05,105 --> 00:45:07,540 you can show off your arms, your legs, your décolletage, 936 00:45:07,574 --> 00:45:09,209 which are always the last to go. 937 00:45:09,242 --> 00:45:10,677 And keep the central area, 938 00:45:10,710 --> 00:45:13,580 which one might want to gloss over, glossed over. 939 00:45:13,613 --> 00:45:15,148 And get a Brazilian. 940 00:45:15,181 --> 00:45:16,616 God, no. 941 00:45:16,649 --> 00:45:18,385 I like a bit of coverage down there. 942 00:45:18,418 --> 00:45:20,286 Or run a comb through it at least. 943 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,389 But also, do get a Brazilian. 944 00:45:22,422 --> 00:45:24,190 Just dust it. Dust it down. 945 00:45:25,158 --> 00:45:26,626 Okay, I'll go! 946 00:45:26,659 --> 00:45:29,462 But I'm not going to sleep with him. 947 00:45:29,696 --> 00:45:30,997 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me. 948 00:45:32,899 --> 00:45:34,801 -[till beeps] -Lube. 949 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,737 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me again. 950 00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,416 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy. 951 00:45:58,458 --> 00:46:00,360 Hello, old friend. 952 00:46:00,694 --> 00:46:02,162 Always a pleasure, never a chore. 953 00:46:02,195 --> 00:46:03,630 I'll take them to school in the morning. 954 00:46:03,663 --> 00:46:07,634 So you can stay out as late as you want. 955 00:46:07,667 --> 00:46:09,769 Make up for four years of no shagging. 956 00:46:09,803 --> 00:46:11,171 It's only a drink. 957 00:46:13,907 --> 00:46:15,709 Too see-through? 958 00:46:15,742 --> 00:46:17,944 Mmm. Definitely. 959 00:46:17,977 --> 00:46:19,179 [Bridget sighs] OK. 960 00:46:20,714 --> 00:46:21,815 How about this? 961 00:46:23,950 --> 00:46:25,952 -[blows kiss] -OK. 962 00:46:25,985 --> 00:46:28,221 [Bridget] The reality suddenly completely terrifying, 963 00:46:28,254 --> 00:46:30,560 and Mark, and insane and flabby. 964 00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:31,324 And oh, God, oh, God. 965 00:46:31,358 --> 00:46:32,692 I can't. 966 00:46:32,726 --> 00:46:34,694 -I really can't. -Oh. What? What? 967 00:46:34,728 --> 00:46:37,731 -No, I just can't. -Aw. Hey, you can. 968 00:46:37,764 --> 00:46:41,801 You just need to think of it as widening your circle of friends. 969 00:46:41,835 --> 00:46:42,902 That's all. 970 00:46:43,937 --> 00:46:45,672 [Shazzer] Hmm? 971 00:46:45,705 --> 00:46:46,973 Come on. 972 00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:49,750 Put on the dress, get out of here 973 00:46:49,109 --> 00:46:51,311 and widen your ****ing circle. 974 00:47:10,430 --> 00:47:12,332 [Bridget] Oh, God. Look at him. 975 00:47:12,365 --> 00:47:14,334 What if he's perfect? 976 00:47:23,910 --> 00:47:24,878 -Hello. -[chuckles] 977 00:47:24,911 --> 00:47:25,845 Hi. 978 00:47:28,140 --> 00:47:31,885 There's a really great place around here that's been here for forever. 979 00:47:31,918 --> 00:47:33,286 Do you know this area at all? 980 00:47:33,319 --> 00:47:36,289 Mmm, I used to. 981 00:47:36,322 --> 00:47:39,893 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger thing is just a day job. 982 00:47:39,926 --> 00:47:42,729 -And my real passion is garbage. -[chuckles] 983 00:47:44,964 --> 00:47:46,166 Really? 984 00:47:46,199 --> 00:47:49,736 The technical term is garbologist. 985 00:47:49,769 --> 00:47:53,106 I'm a biochemist. Studying to be one. 986 00:47:53,139 --> 00:47:54,841 You're a student. 987 00:47:54,874 --> 00:47:57,770 A late-in-life one, anyway. Yeah. 988 00:47:57,110 --> 00:47:59,450 How late? 989 00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:00,280 I'm 28. 990 00:48:01,247 --> 00:48:02,849 I'm just kidding. 991 00:48:02,882 --> 00:48:04,217 I'm 29. 992 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:06,353 [Bridget] ****. 993 00:48:06,386 --> 00:48:09,220 Is he closer in age to me or to Billy? 994 00:48:09,550 --> 00:48:10,290 What about you? 995 00:48:11,558 --> 00:48:12,959 You are... 996 00:48:12,992 --> 00:48:15,610 Slightly older. 997 00:48:15,950 --> 00:48:18,198 I'm gonna say 35-ish. 998 00:48:18,231 --> 00:48:19,799 Yes. 999 00:48:19,833 --> 00:48:20,834 Bull's-eye. 1000 00:48:21,968 --> 00:48:23,370 Let's say 35. 1001 00:48:23,403 --> 00:48:24,871 -Mmm. Thirty-five it is. -Mm-hmm. 1002 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,341 Is 35 all right? 1003 00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:30,276 I think older women, 1004 00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:33,460 ever so slightly older women, 1005 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:35,815 have a wiser view on life. 1006 00:48:35,849 --> 00:48:38,840 You know, they're more experienced 1007 00:48:38,118 --> 00:48:41,388 and more emotionally mature. 1008 00:48:41,421 --> 00:48:43,256 [Bridget] Me in a nutshell. 1009 00:48:43,289 --> 00:48:46,259 I find that very attractive. 1010 00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:12,952 [Bridget] Oh, God. I have no idea how any of this works anymore. 1011 00:49:14,454 --> 00:49:16,322 Is it all right if I kiss you? 1012 00:49:19,426 --> 00:49:22,529 [Bridget] Aw. The generation who ask. 1013 00:49:22,562 --> 00:49:24,898 I think that would be acceptable. 1014 00:49:33,540 --> 00:49:35,675 Give me just one moment. 1015 00:49:35,709 --> 00:49:36,743 [chuckles] 1016 00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:48,722 Oh, my God. 1017 00:49:50,323 --> 00:49:51,925 What are you doing? 1018 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,682 ["Toes" playing] 1019 00:50:15,715 --> 00:50:18,852 * Put your hand down, boy* 1020 00:50:18,885 --> 00:50:22,220 * Welcome to my zoo* 1021 00:50:22,550 --> 00:50:25,625 * Put your head inside My big, black wild while* 1022 00:50:25,658 --> 00:50:28,762 * I can still help you* 1023 00:50:28,795 --> 00:50:31,865 * See the snake-baboon* 1024 00:50:31,898 --> 00:50:35,100 * Funky, chic and smooth* 1025 00:50:37,404 --> 00:50:39,339 * I'm so nine-to-five* 1026 00:50:39,372 --> 00:50:40,674 -Hi, Bridge. -Morning. 1027 00:50:40,707 --> 00:50:42,342 I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's 1028 00:50:42,375 --> 00:50:44,377 requests for today's show. 1029 00:50:44,411 --> 00:50:46,446 -Seriously? [gasps] -Yeah. 1030 00:50:46,479 --> 00:50:48,415 -It's big. -Yeah. 1031 00:50:48,415 --> 00:50:50,617 -A relaxation corner. -Uh-huh. 1032 00:50:50,684 --> 00:50:53,190 Three full-length mirrors. 1033 00:50:53,530 --> 00:50:56,890 And he'll only use La Mer for some reason? 1034 00:50:56,122 --> 00:50:57,557 [chuckles] I know. 1035 00:50:57,590 --> 00:51:00,160 -Ooh. Three, please. -[elevator] Three. 1036 00:51:00,193 --> 00:51:02,620 Did you have *** last night? 1037 00:51:02,950 --> 00:51:04,297 What? No. 1038 00:51:04,330 --> 00:51:05,699 * Won't you take a hold of me* 1039 00:51:05,732 --> 00:51:08,268 Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in. 1040 00:51:08,301 --> 00:51:11,171 And, apparently, he won't drink Evian, only Icelandic water. 1041 00:51:11,204 --> 00:51:13,473 And it's got to have lots of alkalines. 1042 00:51:14,407 --> 00:51:15,642 Or no alkalines. 1043 00:51:16,409 --> 00:51:17,577 Um... 1044 00:51:19,245 --> 00:51:20,880 What? No! 1045 00:51:20,947 --> 00:51:22,782 * La, la, la, la* 1046 00:51:22,816 --> 00:51:24,351 [grunts] God! 1047 00:51:24,384 --> 00:51:26,786 Tape measure, please. Quick. 1048 00:51:26,820 --> 00:51:31,991 The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres from the floor for Ricky. 1049 00:51:32,250 --> 00:51:33,693 Did you have *** last night? 1050 00:51:36,696 --> 00:51:40,233 [groans] Yes. I did. Okay? I did. 1051 00:51:40,734 --> 00:51:44,170 And it was amazing! 1052 00:51:44,204 --> 00:51:45,872 Okay? 1053 00:51:45,905 --> 00:51:47,607 So what? 1054 00:51:50,210 --> 00:51:51,544 [audience applauds] 1055 00:51:54,681 --> 00:51:56,490 [cheering] 1056 00:51:56,820 --> 00:51:59,285 * Lost in romance* 1057 00:51:59,319 --> 00:52:01,921 * Let's just dance, ooh* 1058 00:52:01,955 --> 00:52:04,570 * Shake it till the pearls Get lost* 1059 00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:06,590 * La, la, la, la* 1060 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,194 [Bridget] Am not only mother and ***ual being, 1061 00:52:08,228 --> 00:52:11,431 but also capable working woman at the top of her game. 1062 00:52:11,464 --> 00:52:13,466 So take that, Chloe. 1063 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:16,936 I've done the macaroni and cheese, but with butternut squash instead. 1064 00:52:16,970 --> 00:52:19,439 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to move to the top in about 20 minutes. 1065 00:52:19,472 --> 00:52:21,608 Good. Good. Right. 1066 00:52:21,641 --> 00:52:24,440 It's just how I would do it. 1067 00:52:24,770 --> 00:52:25,512 Um... Oh, Chloe, 1068 00:52:25,545 --> 00:52:27,681 uh, it would be really helpful 1069 00:52:27,714 --> 00:52:30,830 to have their water bottles done the night before. 1070 00:52:30,116 --> 00:52:31,618 In the fridge. Top right. 1071 00:52:31,651 --> 00:52:33,219 Where the expired milk was. 1072 00:52:33,253 --> 00:52:36,956 Oh, great. Great. Um... 1073 00:52:36,990 --> 00:52:40,226 Billy will need something extra for snack tomorrow. 1074 00:52:40,260 --> 00:52:42,950 -He's got-- -Cricket, yeah. 1075 00:52:42,128 --> 00:52:44,230 In a snack bag. Labelled. By the bread bin. 1076 00:52:44,264 --> 00:52:47,000 -We have a bread bin? -I have to leave, I'm afraid. 1077 00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:49,200 Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays. 1078 00:52:49,350 --> 00:52:51,471 6:45 sharp, but earlier to get the spot you want. 1079 00:52:51,504 --> 00:52:53,506 Oh. [chuckles] 'Course. 1080 00:52:53,540 --> 00:52:56,109 You and Graham enjoy your tai chi. 1081 00:52:56,142 --> 00:52:58,645 Oh, you forgot to leave out Billy's cricket things, 1082 00:52:58,678 --> 00:53:00,146 but never mind. I'll do it. 1083 00:53:00,180 --> 00:53:01,581 Bag packed by the door. 1084 00:53:03,483 --> 00:53:04,684 [sighs deeply] 1085 00:53:06,353 --> 00:53:07,687 [Bridget] Nevertheless, 1086 00:53:07,721 --> 00:53:11,124 secret to calmer, happier parenting: 1087 00:53:11,157 --> 00:53:13,126 -one-night stands. -[doorbell rings] 1088 00:53:14,561 --> 00:53:17,997 Although, it wasn't just one night. 1089 00:53:19,566 --> 00:53:21,340 Brought a pie. 1090 00:53:22,102 --> 00:53:23,403 Hmm. 1091 00:53:23,436 --> 00:53:25,438 ["What a Wonderful Thing Love Is" playing] 1092 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,900 [Roxster chuckles] 1093 00:53:29,476 --> 00:53:31,211 That was funny. 1094 00:53:31,244 --> 00:53:34,140 [Bridget] And so, a moment turned into a date, 1095 00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,149 * Ooh* 1096 00:53:36,182 --> 00:53:37,350 [Bridget chuckling] 1097 00:53:37,384 --> 00:53:42,255 * What a wonderful thing...* 1098 00:53:42,288 --> 00:53:45,692 [Bridget] And the night turned into a summer. 1099 00:53:45,725 --> 00:53:47,560 [Bridget, Roxster chuckling] 1100 00:53:47,594 --> 00:53:50,797 * I can see You standing there now* 1101 00:53:52,532 --> 00:53:54,567 * And you're The prettiest thing* 1102 00:53:54,601 --> 00:53:56,636 * In the crowd* 1103 00:53:58,271 --> 00:54:04,811 * And guess who Be laughing loud, but me* 1104 00:54:06,379 --> 00:54:10,617 * You made me see the love* 1105 00:54:11,651 --> 00:54:15,455 * That you're giving me* 1106 00:54:15,488 --> 00:54:17,390 * Baby...* 1107 00:54:17,424 --> 00:54:18,591 [laughing] 1108 00:54:18,625 --> 00:54:20,894 * Won't you hold my hand?* 1109 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:26,666 * Just let me know that I'm your man* 1110 00:54:26,700 --> 00:54:30,537 * And show I'm not ashamed* 1111 00:54:30,570 --> 00:54:33,306 * I walk the floor* 1112 00:54:33,340 --> 00:54:37,477 * When you leave me* 1113 00:54:37,510 --> 00:54:38,745 [whooping] 1114 00:54:38,778 --> 00:54:40,914 * Hey, baby* 1115 00:54:42,382 --> 00:54:44,918 * I don't know about you* 1116 00:54:46,853 --> 00:54:50,790 * Let me tell you what I'm gonna do* 1117 00:54:51,991 --> 00:54:57,330 * I'm gonna try to make My dreams come true* 1118 00:54:57,364 --> 00:54:59,833 * With you* 1119 00:54:59,866 --> 00:55:01,501 Morning. Welcome back. 1120 00:55:01,534 --> 00:55:03,670 -Good morning, Mr Walliker. -Morning. 1121 00:55:03,703 --> 00:55:05,505 -Morning. -Mrs Darcy. 1122 00:55:05,538 --> 00:55:06,573 How were your summer holidays? 1123 00:55:06,606 --> 00:55:07,741 I have a new daddy now. 1124 00:55:07,774 --> 00:55:08,908 His name is Roxster, 1125 00:55:08,942 --> 00:55:10,610 and he always gives Mummy 1126 00:55:10,643 --> 00:55:12,278 a funny hairstyle in the morning. 1127 00:55:12,312 --> 00:55:14,414 Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel? 1128 00:55:14,447 --> 00:55:15,915 It is. 1129 00:55:15,949 --> 00:55:18,852 He's not a new daddy. He's just someone. 1130 00:55:20,820 --> 00:55:21,855 Off you go. 1131 00:55:23,690 --> 00:55:25,458 Well, it seems congratulations are in order. 1132 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:28,795 [blows whistle] You! 1133 00:55:28,828 --> 00:55:30,964 -No. You two. Come on. -Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye. 1134 00:55:30,997 --> 00:55:32,665 [in French] Bisous, bisous, bisous. 1135 00:55:32,699 --> 00:55:35,435 Bridget, I emailed you from Anguilla about, um-- 1136 00:55:35,468 --> 00:55:38,438 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared. 1137 00:55:38,471 --> 00:55:42,876 I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this. [chuckles] 1138 00:55:43,810 --> 00:55:45,245 Thank you. [chuckles] 1139 00:55:47,514 --> 00:55:48,815 [chattering] 1140 00:55:48,848 --> 00:55:50,817 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Settle down. 1141 00:55:50,850 --> 00:55:52,686 Settle down. Thank you. 1142 00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:54,421 Um, so... 1143 00:55:54,454 --> 00:55:57,757 Last term, Daveed's dad was kind enough to talk to us 1144 00:55:57,791 --> 00:55:59,626 about being a thoracic surgeon, 1145 00:55:59,659 --> 00:56:01,928 and next week, Eugenie's mum will be in 1146 00:56:01,961 --> 00:56:04,798 to talk about her role as a nuclear physicist, 1147 00:56:04,831 --> 00:56:07,330 and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize. 1148 00:56:07,670 --> 00:56:10,403 But today, it's Billy's mum. 1149 00:56:10,437 --> 00:56:13,506 So, everyone, give a warm welcome to Mrs Darcy. 1150 00:56:13,540 --> 00:56:14,741 [applause] 1151 00:56:18,411 --> 00:56:19,379 Hello. 1152 00:56:22,415 --> 00:56:23,750 Um. [clears throat] 1153 00:56:23,783 --> 00:56:27,354 I am a television producer. 1154 00:56:27,387 --> 00:56:31,458 My mum says television is making society rot. 1155 00:56:31,491 --> 00:56:33,260 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla. 1156 00:56:33,590 --> 00:56:36,396 [Bridget] OK. May we have a volunteer? 1157 00:56:36,429 --> 00:56:37,397 [sneezes] 1158 00:56:37,430 --> 00:56:39,299 Thank you, Esmeralda. 1159 00:56:47,730 --> 00:56:48,341 Right. 1160 00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:51,544 You can stand here. 1161 00:56:51,578 --> 00:56:52,779 Very good. 1162 00:56:52,812 --> 00:56:55,615 And you are going to say things like, 1163 00:56:55,648 --> 00:56:57,884 "Ten seconds to air!" 1164 00:56:57,917 --> 00:57:02,550 And I am going to be the interviewer for the day. 1165 00:57:03,423 --> 00:57:04,557 Now... 1166 00:57:04,591 --> 00:57:06,260 [Bridget grunts] 1167 00:57:08,461 --> 00:57:09,429 Just... 1168 00:57:10,930 --> 00:57:14,334 [sighs] Right. OK. 1169 00:57:14,367 --> 00:57:19,500 Perhaps Mr Walliker could be the person being interviewed. 1170 00:57:20,507 --> 00:57:21,541 Take a seat. 1171 00:57:22,509 --> 00:57:24,511 Uh, righto. 1172 00:57:24,544 --> 00:57:26,413 Now, topic. 1173 00:57:28,548 --> 00:57:31,851 -The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm? -[chuckles] 1174 00:57:31,885 --> 00:57:33,860 Right, OK. 1175 00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,324 Ooh. Ten seconds to air! 1176 00:57:39,693 --> 00:57:41,528 Hello, this is Bridget Jones, 1177 00:57:41,561 --> 00:57:45,365 and I'm delighted to have Mr Walliker on the show today 1178 00:57:45,398 --> 00:57:49,469 to help us understand the life cycle of the fruit fly. 1179 00:57:49,502 --> 00:57:51,370 Um, well, it's a... 1180 00:57:51,710 --> 00:57:52,806 it's a pleasure to be on the show. 1181 00:57:52,839 --> 00:57:55,575 And, um, thank you for that question. 1182 00:57:55,608 --> 00:57:56,876 Um... [smacks lips] 1183 00:57:56,910 --> 00:57:58,812 Well, the, uh, the average... 1184 00:57:58,845 --> 00:58:00,513 [stammers] 1185 00:58:00,547 --> 00:58:01,681 Thank you. 1186 00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:03,650 Uh, the average fly takes about 1187 00:58:03,683 --> 00:58:04,951 two weeks to mature 1188 00:58:04,984 --> 00:58:08,688 and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days. 1189 00:58:08,722 --> 00:58:12,425 And then, like all living things, when it dies, it simply stops. 1190 00:58:12,459 --> 00:58:13,593 Cellular shutdown. 1191 00:58:13,626 --> 00:58:15,762 It falls, gradually decomposes, 1192 00:58:15,795 --> 00:58:17,797 and becomes part of the soil system. 1193 00:58:17,831 --> 00:58:19,866 But does it really end when it dies? 1194 00:58:21,801 --> 00:58:23,903 Exactly, Mr Walliker. 1195 00:58:23,937 --> 00:58:26,639 Surely there's more to the story. 1196 00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:32,450 Um, well. Well, not really. 1197 00:58:32,912 --> 00:58:35,810 But, yes. [chuckles] 1198 00:58:35,115 --> 00:58:39,953 After the body of the fruit fly stops working, 1199 00:58:39,986 --> 00:58:42,856 uh, then the soul of the fruit fly 1200 00:58:42,889 --> 00:58:45,825 will be able to be free, yes? 1201 00:58:45,859 --> 00:58:47,994 And that particular fruit fly 1202 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,965 will always, in some senses, be with us. 1203 00:58:55,769 --> 00:58:58,738 -The soul of the fruit fly? -Hmm. 1204 00:58:58,772 --> 00:59:00,206 There's no evidence for a soul, 1205 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:04,544 but the body is a perfect system of electrical pulses, 1206 00:59:04,577 --> 00:59:07,113 powered by the heart, which is in itself 1207 00:59:07,147 --> 00:59:10,830 -a pump, if you will-- -The soul, Mr Walliker, 1208 00:59:10,116 --> 00:59:13,530 is the essence of every living thing. 1209 00:59:13,860 --> 00:59:15,488 If you think we're simply bits of machinery 1210 00:59:15,522 --> 00:59:17,570 that can be switched on or off, 1211 00:59:17,900 --> 00:59:18,925 then where does art come from? 1212 00:59:18,958 --> 00:59:21,728 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry? 1213 00:59:21,761 --> 00:59:23,129 -Or magic? -Magic? 1214 00:59:23,163 --> 00:59:24,931 The fruit fly, when it dies, 1215 00:59:24,964 --> 00:59:27,867 will stay with its fruit fly family forever. 1216 00:59:27,901 --> 00:59:30,570 Keep the interview on point, Bridget. 1217 00:59:30,603 --> 00:59:32,238 [Walliker] This is utter nonsense. 1218 00:59:32,272 --> 00:59:36,760 Our world is governed by laws and fact. 1219 00:59:36,109 --> 00:59:37,877 That's our universe. 1220 00:59:37,911 --> 00:59:39,779 -And it is rational. -Cut! 1221 00:59:39,813 --> 00:59:41,781 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy. 1222 00:59:41,815 --> 00:59:43,717 I believe in what's real. 1223 00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:44,984 Cut! 1224 00:59:46,152 --> 00:59:48,521 [Bridget] Off to Talitha's birthday. 1225 00:59:48,555 --> 00:59:51,570 Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight? 1226 00:59:51,910 --> 00:59:54,600 It's Thursday. I thought you and Graham had tai chi. 1227 00:59:54,940 --> 00:59:56,730 Won't kill him to miss a week, will it? 1228 00:59:56,763 --> 00:59:58,531 He's so uptight. 1229 01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:02,535 Oh, you look nice, Bridget. 1230 01:00:02,569 --> 01:00:04,700 Oh! [chuckles] 1231 01:00:04,104 --> 01:00:06,239 Ooh. [chuckling] 1232 01:00:07,574 --> 01:00:08,508 Oh, try this. 1233 01:00:15,548 --> 01:00:16,816 There. 1234 01:00:16,850 --> 01:00:18,184 Thanks, Chloe. 1235 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,656 Billy! Mabes! Snacks on the table. 1236 01:00:27,861 --> 01:00:31,970 So where is he? Is he not coming? 1237 01:00:31,131 --> 01:00:33,833 Oh, it's fine. He must have been held up. 1238 01:00:33,867 --> 01:00:36,569 -What? By some sort of rubbish emergency? -Oh. 1239 01:00:36,603 --> 01:00:38,605 -Probably had to finish his homework. -[Tom] Stop it. 1240 01:00:38,638 --> 01:00:40,106 Hope he gets here before story time. 1241 01:00:40,140 --> 01:00:41,975 [Bridget] Shut it! 1242 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:43,877 [Tom] Come the **** on, Bridge. 1243 01:00:43,910 --> 01:00:45,311 Does this guy actually exist 1244 01:00:45,345 --> 01:00:47,914 or is it, um, like that one time 1245 01:00:47,947 --> 01:00:49,549 that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee? 1246 01:00:49,582 --> 01:00:52,118 -It was him. It was. -Come on. Really? 1247 01:00:52,152 --> 01:00:53,853 -[Miranda] Happy birthday. -Lovely to see you. 1248 01:00:53,887 --> 01:00:55,889 What on earth are you holding? 1249 01:00:55,922 --> 01:00:57,724 Oh, Petula. [coos] 1250 01:00:57,757 --> 01:00:58,992 A present to myself 1251 01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:01,561 and I already prefer her to any human. 1252 01:01:01,594 --> 01:01:02,929 [gasps] Oh, hi. 1253 01:01:02,962 --> 01:01:04,164 [guests] * Happy birthday to you* 1254 01:01:04,197 --> 01:01:06,232 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby 1255 01:01:06,266 --> 01:01:08,340 while I feign surprise at the cake 1256 01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:10,837 that I chose and bought for myself. 1257 01:01:10,870 --> 01:01:12,806 Oh, look! Look at that! 1258 01:01:12,839 --> 01:01:15,410 * Happy birthday, dear Talitha* 1259 01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:16,976 Thank you. Oh, look. 1260 01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:22,150 * Happy birthday to you* 1261 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:23,283 [guests cheering] 1262 01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:26,720 [glass clinks] 1263 01:01:26,753 --> 01:01:28,210 Thank you. 1264 01:01:28,540 --> 01:01:32,920 Thank you all so much for coming today 1265 01:01:32,125 --> 01:01:35,729 to help me celebrate, well, me. 1266 01:01:35,762 --> 01:01:36,963 [guests laughing] 1267 01:01:36,996 --> 01:01:38,365 We love you, Talitha. 1268 01:01:38,398 --> 01:01:40,567 -[all] Talitha! -[Tom] Talitha! Happy birthday. 1269 01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:43,903 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 1270 01:01:43,937 --> 01:01:46,390 [Bridget] Binko Carruthers. 1271 01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,800 Oh, please don't come over. Please don't. 1272 01:01:48,410 --> 01:01:49,342 Beep, beep. 1273 01:01:49,376 --> 01:01:53,113 There she is. The famous Bridget Jones. 1274 01:01:53,146 --> 01:01:56,182 So I told Cosmo I'd take you out for a spin. 1275 01:01:56,216 --> 01:01:57,183 How's Friday? 1276 01:01:57,217 --> 01:01:59,119 -[barks] -[yelps] 1277 01:01:59,152 --> 01:02:01,688 -[Tom] ****, no! -[guests clamour] 1278 01:02:01,721 --> 01:02:04,824 Jude, get in there. Come on, get the **** in there! God, help! 1279 01:02:04,858 --> 01:02:06,793 Oh, my God. Oh! 1280 01:02:06,826 --> 01:02:09,129 -[Talitha] Petula, come on, darling. -[Tom] Petula! Petula! 1281 01:02:09,162 --> 01:02:10,196 ["Mad About the Boy" playing] 1282 01:02:10,230 --> 01:02:12,365 * I'm mad about the boy* 1283 01:02:15,268 --> 01:02:17,303 * And I know it's stupid* 1284 01:02:17,337 --> 01:02:20,206 * To be mad about the boy* 1285 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,800 Who's that? 1286 01:02:22,420 --> 01:02:24,210 * I'm so ashamed of it* 1287 01:02:24,244 --> 01:02:29,215 * But must admit The sleepless nights I've had* 1288 01:02:30,950 --> 01:02:32,385 * About the boy* 1289 01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:35,822 [gasps] 1290 01:02:35,855 --> 01:02:37,991 * Ooh, ooh, ooh* 1291 01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:39,693 * On the silver screen...* 1292 01:02:39,726 --> 01:02:40,727 [guests cheering] 1293 01:02:42,729 --> 01:02:46,900 * He melts my foolish heart In every single scene * 1294 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:52,720 -* Although I'm quite aware...* -[Talitha gasping] 1295 01:02:52,105 --> 01:02:54,740 * That here and there Are traces...* 1296 01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:56,142 -I think this belongs to you. -Thank you. 1297 01:02:57,770 --> 01:03:01,748 * About the boy* 1298 01:03:02,982 --> 01:03:04,417 [party guest whoops] 1299 01:03:04,451 --> 01:03:10,223 * Lord knows I'm not a fool girl* 1300 01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:13,393 -Hello. -Hi. 1301 01:03:13,426 --> 01:03:15,362 * I really shouldn't care* 1302 01:03:18,980 --> 01:03:20,734 * Lord knows I'm not a school girl* 1303 01:03:21,670 --> 01:03:23,303 * Who's in the flurry...* 1304 01:03:23,336 --> 01:03:25,105 Sorry I'm late. Buses were a nightmare. 1305 01:03:25,138 --> 01:03:26,339 It's fine. 1306 01:03:28,475 --> 01:03:30,110 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1307 01:03:30,143 --> 01:03:32,345 She just jumped out of my arms. 1308 01:03:32,379 --> 01:03:35,810 Do not apologise. 1309 01:03:35,115 --> 01:03:36,916 Oh, my darling. 1310 01:03:36,950 --> 01:03:38,585 Let me help you out of those wet clothes. 1311 01:03:38,618 --> 01:03:40,653 No. Don't you dare redress him. 1312 01:03:40,687 --> 01:03:43,356 -You look gorgeous. -You look gorgeous. 1313 01:03:43,390 --> 01:03:46,860 * All because I'm mad* 1314 01:03:48,395 --> 01:03:52,632 Now that, my darling, is what I call a rebrand. 1315 01:03:54,401 --> 01:03:56,503 Hi. I'm Roxster. 1316 01:03:57,370 --> 01:03:58,905 ["Praise You" playing] 1317 01:04:09,983 --> 01:04:10,884 [laughing] 1318 01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:18,324 * We've come a long Long way together* 1319 01:04:18,358 --> 01:04:20,427 I hope he's up to it, darling. 1320 01:04:20,460 --> 01:04:22,929 * Through the hard times And the good* 1321 01:04:22,962 --> 01:04:27,367 * I have to celebrate you Baby* 1322 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:31,638 * I have to praise you like I should* 1323 01:04:31,671 --> 01:04:33,907 * I have to praise you* 1324 01:04:36,343 --> 01:04:38,780 * I have to praise you* 1325 01:04:40,547 --> 01:04:42,482 * I have to praise you* 1326 01:04:42,515 --> 01:04:44,984 -Hello. -Oh, **** off. 1327 01:04:45,180 --> 01:04:49,222 * I have to praise you like I should* 1328 01:04:49,255 --> 01:04:51,910 * I have to praise you* 1329 01:04:58,164 --> 01:05:00,330 * I have to praise you* 1330 01:05:03,503 --> 01:05:05,105 ["I Want a Little Sugar In My Bowl" playing] 1331 01:05:05,138 --> 01:05:10,477 * I want a little sugar In my bowl* 1332 01:05:10,510 --> 01:05:12,145 [Bridget] If there is a God, 1333 01:05:12,178 --> 01:05:14,547 I'm sure he had more to deal with that night 1334 01:05:14,581 --> 01:05:16,716 than my personal happiness, 1335 01:05:16,750 --> 01:05:20,553 but it did feel like he'd taken the night off everything else 1336 01:05:20,587 --> 01:05:22,455 to focus on me. 1337 01:05:24,591 --> 01:05:26,659 But then... 1338 01:05:26,693 --> 01:05:28,561 I wish I had a time machine. 1339 01:05:28,595 --> 01:05:30,463 * Feel so funny* 1340 01:05:30,497 --> 01:05:35,502 * I feel so sad* 1341 01:05:35,535 --> 01:05:36,703 * What's the matter, baby?* 1342 01:05:36,736 --> 01:05:38,371 [Bridget] A time machine. 1343 01:05:38,405 --> 01:05:40,774 * Come on, save my soul* 1344 01:05:40,807 --> 01:05:43,243 [Bridget] In his moment of inebriated joy, 1345 01:05:43,276 --> 01:05:45,545 he had given himself away. 1346 01:05:49,382 --> 01:05:51,251 * In my bowl* 1347 01:05:51,284 --> 01:05:53,119 [Bridget] It mattered to him. 1348 01:05:53,153 --> 01:05:58,191 And with that came the elephant stomping heavily into the room. 1349 01:06:00,627 --> 01:06:02,950 [birds chirping] 1350 01:06:13,506 --> 01:06:14,541 ["A Little Respect" playing] 1351 01:06:14,574 --> 01:06:16,776 * I try to discover...* 1352 01:06:16,810 --> 01:06:18,645 [Talitha] That happens to us all, James. 1353 01:06:18,678 --> 01:06:22,482 -[guest speaking] -[audience laughs] 1354 01:06:22,515 --> 01:06:24,751 [guest] Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day. 1355 01:06:24,784 --> 01:06:26,686 [guest, audience laughing] 1356 01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:30,323 [guest] Well, 60 in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. 1357 01:06:30,357 --> 01:06:34,327 [Talitha] Yeah, but you've got so many interesting characters in this show. 1358 01:06:34,361 --> 01:06:36,363 So this show is for... 1359 01:06:36,396 --> 01:06:37,731 [Bridget] Ghosting. 1360 01:06:37,764 --> 01:06:39,599 The practice of ending a relationship 1361 01:06:39,632 --> 01:06:41,501 by suddenly and without explanation 1362 01:06:41,534 --> 01:06:43,803 withdrawing from all communication. 1363 01:06:45,538 --> 01:06:48,808 * That you give me No reason why you...* 1364 01:06:48,842 --> 01:06:52,679 [Bridget] The slow unveiling of reality and rejection. 1365 01:06:52,712 --> 01:06:54,781 * That you give me no That you give me no* 1366 01:06:54,814 --> 01:06:57,584 * That you give me no That you give me no...* 1367 01:06:57,617 --> 01:06:59,285 [Bridget] The casual cruelty. 1368 01:07:00,587 --> 01:07:04,657 * I hear you calling* 1369 01:07:05,859 --> 01:07:09,763 * Oh, baby, please...* 1370 01:07:09,796 --> 01:07:11,798 -[phone beeps] -[Walliker blowing whistle] 1371 01:07:11,831 --> 01:07:16,136 * Give a little respect* 1372 01:07:16,169 --> 01:07:22,542 * To me* 1373 01:07:22,575 --> 01:07:25,211 * What religion or reason* 1374 01:07:25,245 --> 01:07:29,315 * Could cause a man To forsake his lover?* 1375 01:07:29,349 --> 01:07:30,817 * Don't you tell me no...* 1376 01:07:30,850 --> 01:07:32,886 [Bridget] Do not text when ghosted. 1377 01:07:32,919 --> 01:07:36,589 * Don't you tell me no Soul...* 1378 01:07:36,623 --> 01:07:38,825 [Bridget] Do not text when drunk. 1379 01:07:38,858 --> 01:07:41,861 * I hear you calling* 1380 01:07:42,862 --> 01:07:48,168 * Oh, baby, please* 1381 01:07:49,335 --> 01:07:53,173 * Give a little respect* 1382 01:07:53,206 --> 01:07:57,711 * To me* 1383 01:08:07,487 --> 01:08:08,922 Ghost the ******* back, Bridget. 1384 01:08:08,955 --> 01:08:11,758 Just let him disintegrate into nothingness. 1385 01:08:11,791 --> 01:08:13,660 It can be a jungle out there. 1386 01:08:13,693 --> 01:08:16,229 Yep. And I'm the giant panda, 1387 01:08:16,262 --> 01:08:19,599 ***ually obsolete and destined to be alone forever. 1388 01:08:19,632 --> 01:08:22,869 No. You will adapt and survive like we all do. 1389 01:08:22,902 --> 01:08:26,272 I used to be on the cover of Vanity Fairin a flak jacket. 1390 01:08:26,306 --> 01:08:29,376 And now I'm on the cover of Good Housekeepingwith a pavlova. 1391 01:08:29,409 --> 01:08:30,443 Cathy... 1392 01:08:31,578 --> 01:08:33,313 where's your special stuff? 1393 01:08:34,647 --> 01:08:37,217 HD TV was an extinction-level event 1394 01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:40,420 for the fearless career television presenter. 1395 01:08:40,453 --> 01:08:44,224 I'm about to usher you into your next chapter. 1396 01:08:44,257 --> 01:08:47,594 [Cathy] Lip serum. I get it on the dark web. 1397 01:08:47,627 --> 01:08:49,963 -Is it legal? -Absolutely. 1398 01:08:49,996 --> 01:08:51,264 In Venezuela. 1399 01:08:51,798 --> 01:08:52,932 Here, take it. 1400 01:08:56,403 --> 01:08:59,906 Adapt and survive. 1401 01:09:01,741 --> 01:09:04,277 [Bridget] Adapt and survive. 1402 01:09:05,979 --> 01:09:08,715 Ooh. Something's definitely happening. 1403 01:09:08,748 --> 01:09:12,519 It's either disastrous or totally fantastic. 1404 01:09:12,552 --> 01:09:13,853 Mummy! 1405 01:09:15,622 --> 01:09:17,257 [slurred] Hi, sweetie. 1406 01:09:17,290 --> 01:09:18,925 [Bridget] Shit. What's happening to my voice? 1407 01:09:18,958 --> 01:09:20,593 Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet. 1408 01:09:20,627 --> 01:09:22,495 No. My feet are on the wrong legs. 1409 01:09:22,529 --> 01:09:24,264 [Bridget, Walliker chuckle] 1410 01:09:24,297 --> 01:09:25,965 Silly thing. 1411 01:09:25,999 --> 01:09:28,968 Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth. 1412 01:09:29,903 --> 01:09:30,837 No. 1413 01:09:30,870 --> 01:09:32,439 [chuckles] No, there isn't. 1414 01:09:32,472 --> 01:09:34,274 Yes, there is. Look. 1415 01:09:34,307 --> 01:09:36,309 Your lips are all funny right there. 1416 01:09:36,343 --> 01:09:38,611 [slurred, lisping] Darling, don't be ridiculous. 1417 01:09:38,645 --> 01:09:42,248 All right, Mabel, let's get these swapped over, shall we? 1418 01:09:43,350 --> 01:09:44,918 Out we pop. All right. 1419 01:09:44,951 --> 01:09:48,621 I wouldn't do that again if I were you, Mrs Darcy. 1420 01:09:48,655 --> 01:09:49,923 You looked all right to begin with. 1421 01:09:51,558 --> 01:09:52,892 [Walliker] All right. 1422 01:09:52,926 --> 01:09:55,628 [laughing] You're trying to look younger 1423 01:09:55,662 --> 01:10:00,967 and the effects have marked similarities to those of an elderly stroke victim. 1424 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,869 [laughing] 1425 01:10:02,902 --> 01:10:05,739 You're actually drooling now. 1426 01:10:08,508 --> 01:10:09,876 Oh, dear. [inhales] 1427 01:10:09,909 --> 01:10:12,812 Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room 1428 01:10:12,846 --> 01:10:15,849 filled to capacity with actual patients-- 1429 01:10:15,882 --> 01:10:18,180 not to mention the fact that I am a gynaecologist 1430 01:10:18,510 --> 01:10:20,353 and that particular set of lips is, 1431 01:10:20,387 --> 01:10:23,356 as it were, broadly speaking, at the wrong end-- 1432 01:10:23,390 --> 01:10:26,359 I am nonetheless going to ask you the question, 1433 01:10:27,270 --> 01:10:28,995 "Bridget, are you OK?" 1434 01:10:29,290 --> 01:10:31,831 A simple yes will suffice. 1435 01:10:33,660 --> 01:10:34,467 No. 1436 01:10:36,369 --> 01:10:38,380 It's all your fault. 1437 01:10:38,672 --> 01:10:40,540 [lisping] 1438 01:11:02,462 --> 01:11:04,364 [crying] 1439 01:11:07,901 --> 01:11:09,402 [paper ripping] 1440 01:11:19,913 --> 01:11:22,649 "Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting. 1441 01:11:22,682 --> 01:11:24,417 That's an A, in the middle there. 1442 01:11:24,451 --> 01:11:29,550 [sighs] Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas", 1443 01:11:29,890 --> 01:11:32,580 but a toy boy is not the answer, Bridget, and nor are big lips. 1444 01:11:33,426 --> 01:11:34,761 You're a widow 1445 01:11:34,794 --> 01:11:36,896 with two wonderful children who adore you. 1446 01:11:36,930 --> 01:11:38,798 You're just trying to cope with a shitty situation. 1447 01:11:38,832 --> 01:11:40,467 Embrace the chaos. 1448 01:11:41,968 --> 01:11:44,137 That's just a simple allergic reaction to 1449 01:11:44,170 --> 01:11:47,674 hydroxymethoxyphenyl propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran 1450 01:11:47,707 --> 01:11:51,444 in whatever infernal concoction you've smeared on your mouth. 1451 01:11:51,478 --> 01:11:54,481 -[whimpers] -[Dr Rawlings] This is an antihistamine. 1452 01:11:54,514 --> 01:11:55,949 It'll work straight away. 1453 01:11:56,850 --> 01:11:59,520 It's for the lips. 1454 01:11:59,850 --> 01:12:02,122 They still haven't invented anything for being a twat. 1455 01:12:06,593 --> 01:12:07,894 [slurping] 1456 01:12:07,927 --> 01:12:09,129 [breathing through nose] 1457 01:12:10,563 --> 01:12:11,631 [phone rings] 1458 01:12:15,135 --> 01:12:16,736 Hello. 1459 01:12:16,770 --> 01:12:18,405 [lisping] Yes, this is Bridget. 1460 01:12:19,806 --> 01:12:22,108 Of course! Straight away. 1461 01:12:24,711 --> 01:12:25,879 Yes, yes. 1462 01:12:31,685 --> 01:12:32,686 [Bridget] Daniel. 1463 01:12:33,753 --> 01:12:36,189 Well, by all that's holy, 1464 01:12:36,222 --> 01:12:38,580 Bridget Jones. 1465 01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:41,628 [grunts] 1466 01:12:42,929 --> 01:12:44,931 Nice of you to come, Jones. 1467 01:12:44,964 --> 01:12:47,133 If I'd known, I'd have worn a tinier nightie. 1468 01:12:48,601 --> 01:12:49,569 What happened? 1469 01:12:50,170 --> 01:12:51,838 My heart. 1470 01:12:51,871 --> 01:12:53,206 Two massive surprises. 1471 01:12:53,239 --> 01:12:55,875 One, I have one. Two, it murmurs. 1472 01:12:55,909 --> 01:12:58,611 They've, um, had a listen and I don't know. 1473 01:12:59,512 --> 01:13:00,880 Are you OK? 1474 01:13:00,914 --> 01:13:02,749 Well, I thought I was having a heart attack. 1475 01:13:02,782 --> 01:13:05,185 My whole life passed before my eyes. 1476 01:13:05,218 --> 01:13:06,886 You actually featured prominently, Jones. 1477 01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:08,555 -Hmm. -All the best bits. 1478 01:13:08,588 --> 01:13:10,900 Rome. Mini-break weekend. 1479 01:13:10,957 --> 01:13:13,159 Sodomy in Sainsbury's. 1480 01:13:13,193 --> 01:13:14,794 [chuckles] 1481 01:13:14,828 --> 01:13:17,300 But, uh, mainly, 1482 01:13:17,630 --> 01:13:18,965 it was just me wandering up and down the King's Road 1483 01:13:18,998 --> 01:13:20,700 trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds. 1484 01:13:20,734 --> 01:13:22,235 Mmm. 1485 01:13:22,268 --> 01:13:27,400 Perhaps it's an opportunity for a new beginning. 1486 01:13:27,730 --> 01:13:28,942 Brand-new Daniel. 1487 01:13:29,609 --> 01:13:30,577 Mmm. 1488 01:13:31,911 --> 01:13:34,547 I think I shall stay right here... 1489 01:13:36,820 --> 01:13:37,650 until you agree. 1490 01:13:37,684 --> 01:13:39,686 Well that is kind of you, Bridge, but, um... 1491 01:13:40,820 --> 01:13:42,122 they told me I don't have long. 1492 01:13:42,155 --> 01:13:44,858 -What? -No, no, no. ****. No, not that. 1493 01:13:44,891 --> 01:13:47,127 Well, maybe that. No, they, uh... 1494 01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:49,662 they're taking me for some tests in a minute. 1495 01:13:53,566 --> 01:13:57,137 The question is, would we say I've become a fraction tragic? 1496 01:13:57,170 --> 01:14:01,241 They asked me to put down my next of kin. 1497 01:14:01,274 --> 01:14:06,120 And the only person I could think of who might remotely care was you. 1498 01:14:07,947 --> 01:14:10,250 -That's very sweet. -[Daniel] Yeah, but not deliberately. 1499 01:14:10,283 --> 01:14:12,218 The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived 1500 01:14:12,252 --> 01:14:14,821 at this point in my life with no kin? 1501 01:14:14,854 --> 01:14:17,991 How could I possibly be kinless? 1502 01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:21,161 But you're not. You're not kinless. 1503 01:14:21,194 --> 01:14:24,597 Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two. 1504 01:14:24,631 --> 01:14:27,233 And he is now being happily raised by his mother 1505 01:14:27,267 --> 01:14:30,770 and an Italian aristocrat who wears his jumper like a shawl. 1506 01:14:33,773 --> 01:14:35,208 So, lucky you, Jones. 1507 01:14:36,609 --> 01:14:38,645 Your two, the way they look at you... 1508 01:14:40,747 --> 01:14:43,183 just makes one realise... 1509 01:14:45,919 --> 01:14:47,654 one's own ****-ups, really. 1510 01:14:49,222 --> 01:14:51,570 The glory of what might have been. 1511 01:14:55,862 --> 01:14:57,697 [sighs] Did you know... 1512 01:14:59,165 --> 01:15:01,334 it was actually quite good 1513 01:15:01,368 --> 01:15:03,837 with Gisele at the beginning? [clears throat] 1514 01:15:03,870 --> 01:15:05,605 I have to face the fact... 1515 01:15:05,638 --> 01:15:07,140 [coughs] 1516 01:15:07,173 --> 01:15:10,844 ...that it may have been, Jones, love. 1517 01:15:11,778 --> 01:15:13,646 The real thing. 1518 01:15:13,680 --> 01:15:15,882 I still don't know what she was so pissed off about. 1519 01:15:15,915 --> 01:15:17,150 You shagged her sister. 1520 01:15:17,183 --> 01:15:19,853 Once. Massive overreaction. 1521 01:15:19,886 --> 01:15:21,788 [Bridget laughing] 1522 01:15:21,821 --> 01:15:24,958 God, I love you, Daniel. 1523 01:15:24,991 --> 01:15:29,162 Despite your really quite impressive 1524 01:15:29,195 --> 01:15:32,766 lifelong dedication to total ****wittage. 1525 01:15:32,799 --> 01:15:34,634 Yeah. [sighs] 1526 01:15:35,802 --> 01:15:37,804 There's a lot I don't know. 1527 01:15:38,772 --> 01:15:39,706 An awful lot. 1528 01:15:41,374 --> 01:15:45,145 But I do know that my children would give anything at all 1529 01:15:45,178 --> 01:15:47,881 to have just one day with their dad. 1530 01:15:56,756 --> 01:15:59,859 -[door opens] -[nurse] Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver. 1531 01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:01,261 Oh, right. 1532 01:16:01,294 --> 01:16:03,329 And, again, there is really no need 1533 01:16:03,363 --> 01:16:05,932 for you to remove your gown. 1534 01:16:05,965 --> 01:16:07,670 Sorry. 1535 01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:08,635 [nurse] Okey-doke. 1536 01:16:08,668 --> 01:16:10,300 God. 1537 01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:13,206 Then lights down on the cooking segment. 1538 01:16:13,239 --> 01:16:15,809 Why do I always have to do the cooking bits? 1539 01:16:15,842 --> 01:16:18,244 That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time 1540 01:16:18,278 --> 01:16:20,130 was the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. 1541 01:16:20,460 --> 01:16:21,648 I highly doubt that. 1542 01:16:21,681 --> 01:16:24,784 And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage. 1543 01:16:24,818 --> 01:16:29,122 "And now, on Better Women, a surprise guest." Blah blah. 1544 01:16:29,155 --> 01:16:30,957 And lights! 1545 01:16:30,990 --> 01:16:32,920 -[cheering] -[music playing] 1546 01:16:32,125 --> 01:16:33,393 * Yeah, I'm a fighter* 1547 01:16:33,426 --> 01:16:35,295 * And I made it through* 1548 01:16:35,328 --> 01:16:37,300 * Solid gold survivor That's...* 1549 01:16:37,630 --> 01:16:38,798 -[Bridget] Hold it! -[music stops] 1550 01:16:38,832 --> 01:16:42,769 Linus, we've got to practise following her with the lights. 1551 01:16:42,802 --> 01:16:44,371 So, uh... 1552 01:16:44,404 --> 01:16:47,273 maybe you could dance a bit? Yeah? 1553 01:16:47,307 --> 01:16:49,909 -Uh... -[Bridget] OK. Go, Linus! 1554 01:16:49,943 --> 01:16:51,378 [music resumes] 1555 01:16:51,411 --> 01:16:53,213 * So give me light* 1556 01:16:53,246 --> 01:16:55,181 * You've got to find Your own road...* 1557 01:16:55,215 --> 01:16:58,852 Can you hold that, please? See, you've got to, you know, go for it. 1558 01:16:58,885 --> 01:17:00,530 * Help me see...* 1559 01:17:00,860 --> 01:17:02,122 'Cause she's going to, you know... 1560 01:17:02,155 --> 01:17:04,157 * And no more light And no more love* 1561 01:17:04,190 --> 01:17:06,159 * It's not over...* 1562 01:17:06,192 --> 01:17:08,261 -[chuckling] -* It's not over* 1563 01:17:08,294 --> 01:17:10,230 * I won't save you when I'm weak* 1564 01:17:10,263 --> 01:17:11,998 * Only got so much left To give* 1565 01:17:12,320 --> 01:17:14,734 * It's not over* 1566 01:17:14,768 --> 01:17:15,869 * It's not over* 1567 01:17:15,902 --> 01:17:17,270 * Till I'm done...* 1568 01:17:17,303 --> 01:17:19,973 [singer vocalising] 1569 01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:21,408 * Till I'm done* 1570 01:17:21,441 --> 01:17:22,942 -[song ends] -[others chuckling] 1571 01:17:22,976 --> 01:17:24,778 -See, Linus? -[Roxster] Hi, B. 1572 01:17:26,312 --> 01:17:27,947 [Bridget] Oh, shit. 1573 01:17:29,883 --> 01:17:31,840 Brought a pie. 1574 01:17:31,117 --> 01:17:33,787 -[bell rings] -[crew chattering] 1575 01:17:33,820 --> 01:17:36,322 [Roxster] Sorry, they just told me to come in. 1576 01:17:38,525 --> 01:17:40,860 [Bridget] You disappeared, Roxster. 1577 01:17:40,894 --> 01:17:41,795 [Roxster] I know. 1578 01:17:42,462 --> 01:17:43,463 I know. 1579 01:17:46,966 --> 01:17:48,735 [sighs] I panicked. 1580 01:17:50,336 --> 01:17:52,806 I got-- I got scared, and I ran. 1581 01:17:53,940 --> 01:17:55,775 But I want this. 1582 01:17:56,876 --> 01:17:57,844 You. 1583 01:17:59,346 --> 01:18:02,816 I thought I wasn't ready, but I am. 1584 01:18:03,817 --> 01:18:05,485 I thought I... 1585 01:18:05,518 --> 01:18:07,887 I don't know, wanted somebody my own age, 1586 01:18:07,921 --> 01:18:10,223 but I don't. 1587 01:18:14,427 --> 01:18:16,329 I love you, Bridget. 1588 01:18:20,660 --> 01:18:21,868 I'm ready for all of it. 1589 01:18:21,901 --> 01:18:23,837 For Billy and Mabel. 1590 01:18:24,904 --> 01:18:26,106 And burnt lasagne. 1591 01:18:26,139 --> 01:18:28,341 And slime. 1592 01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:30,510 [chuckles] And all of it. 1593 01:18:32,846 --> 01:18:34,481 [whispers] I promise you, I am ready. 1594 01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:39,386 [whispers] I'm not sure that matters. 1595 01:18:42,489 --> 01:18:44,524 What do you mean? I don't-- I don't understand. 1596 01:18:44,557 --> 01:18:47,360 [Bridget, voice breaking] You're so lovely, 1597 01:18:49,290 --> 01:18:51,640 and you're going to be 1598 01:18:51,970 --> 01:18:54,300 a brilliant partner and dad. 1599 01:18:54,334 --> 01:18:55,869 And you're going to discover 1600 01:18:55,902 --> 01:18:59,720 all sorts of garbage that will change the world. 1601 01:18:59,105 --> 01:19:00,840 That's not how it works. 1602 01:19:00,874 --> 01:19:02,242 But not with me. 1603 01:19:02,275 --> 01:19:03,943 [exhales] 1604 01:19:08,140 --> 01:19:09,983 I wish I had a time machine too. 1605 01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:13,553 So you could catch up. 1606 01:19:17,424 --> 01:19:19,325 Are you-- Are you sure? 1607 01:19:21,561 --> 01:19:22,862 I am. 1608 01:19:36,609 --> 01:19:38,278 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK. 1609 01:19:38,311 --> 01:19:40,460 [Bridget chuckles] 1610 01:19:44,317 --> 01:19:45,452 Goodbye, Bridget. 1611 01:19:57,497 --> 01:19:59,432 [Bridget] Parents' evening. 1612 01:19:59,466 --> 01:20:02,602 Is there a worse night for the single parent? 1613 01:20:03,603 --> 01:20:05,338 They call it parents' evening 1614 01:20:05,372 --> 01:20:07,574 as if it's a plural. 1615 01:20:07,607 --> 01:20:10,910 As if it's a given that there's two of us. 1616 01:20:12,412 --> 01:20:15,448 Oh, well. Chin up and onward. 1617 01:20:15,482 --> 01:20:17,500 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy. 1618 01:20:18,518 --> 01:20:20,420 It's good to see you. 1619 01:20:20,453 --> 01:20:22,489 Good to be back in the studio. 1620 01:20:23,923 --> 01:20:26,893 [chuckles] The great fruit fly debate. 1621 01:20:28,610 --> 01:20:29,229 Uh... 1622 01:20:29,262 --> 01:20:30,530 Small secret. 1623 01:20:30,563 --> 01:20:32,399 It was about 50 times more interesting 1624 01:20:32,432 --> 01:20:34,534 than that bloody thoracic surgeon. 1625 01:20:34,567 --> 01:20:36,269 And don't get me started on the physicist. 1626 01:20:36,302 --> 01:20:39,973 I mean, they'll hand out Nobels to anyone these days. 1627 01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:42,142 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 1628 01:20:42,175 --> 01:20:45,145 So, uh, Billy. 1629 01:20:45,178 --> 01:20:48,140 Well, he's, um... he's an excellent cricketer. 1630 01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:49,215 -Mm-hmm. -You know, 1631 01:20:49,249 --> 01:20:50,684 he's a very good young scientist. 1632 01:20:50,717 --> 01:20:52,986 He's... he's got a good brain. 1633 01:20:53,190 --> 01:20:57,424 He's methodical, his experiments are well drawn up. 1634 01:20:57,457 --> 01:20:59,426 Look, I mean, it's just, uh... 1635 01:20:59,459 --> 01:21:01,528 it's excellent work all round. 1636 01:21:03,129 --> 01:21:06,433 -Good. -It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm... 1637 01:21:07,634 --> 01:21:09,235 I'm a... 1638 01:21:09,269 --> 01:21:11,304 I'm a bit concerned about him. 1639 01:21:11,337 --> 01:21:14,474 Concerned? Concerned how? What's he done? 1640 01:21:14,507 --> 01:21:17,210 No, he hasn't done anything. He's, um... 1641 01:21:17,243 --> 01:21:18,912 He's just been a bit, uh... 1642 01:21:20,146 --> 01:21:21,448 withdrawn. 1643 01:21:22,248 --> 01:21:23,516 Why is he withdrawn? 1644 01:21:23,550 --> 01:21:25,585 Everything's been all right at home? 1645 01:21:25,618 --> 01:21:28,488 Yes, yes. It's all fine. 1646 01:21:28,521 --> 01:21:30,557 [Walliker] Everything OK with your, um... 1647 01:21:32,625 --> 01:21:34,227 -hairdresser? -[sighs] 1648 01:21:34,260 --> 01:21:37,297 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh... 1649 01:21:37,330 --> 01:21:39,165 He's withdrawn? 1650 01:21:39,199 --> 01:21:42,235 -Well, I don't mean to alarm you. -[door opens] 1651 01:21:42,268 --> 01:21:45,672 -Sorry about that. Yep, exactly. -[Nicolette] Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry. 1652 01:21:45,705 --> 01:21:48,375 We're a couple of minutes early, but these sessions are so short. 1653 01:21:48,408 --> 01:21:50,677 And I have more than a few questions for you. 1654 01:21:50,710 --> 01:21:52,312 You don't mind, do you, Bridget? 1655 01:21:52,345 --> 01:21:54,514 We do have the two boys, so... 1656 01:21:54,547 --> 01:21:57,584 Not at all. No. That's... It's fine. 1657 01:21:59,786 --> 01:22:02,422 -Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute. -[Nicolette] Thank you. 1658 01:22:02,455 --> 01:22:04,691 -[Nicolette] Right. -[Victor] I've got parents' evening. 1659 01:22:15,602 --> 01:22:18,104 [owl hoots] 1660 01:22:24,344 --> 01:22:26,279 [hoots] 1661 01:22:26,312 --> 01:22:28,480 Mark Darcy, the leading 1662 01:22:28,810 --> 01:22:30,717 international humanitarian rights lawyer, 1663 01:22:30,750 --> 01:22:33,720 was killed this morning in the Darfur region in Sudan. 1664 01:22:33,753 --> 01:22:36,256 [reporter] ...a land mine. The 55-year-old was in 1665 01:22:36,289 --> 01:22:38,525 the war-torn region after joining international efforts... 1666 01:22:38,558 --> 01:22:41,194 Mr Darcy was a leading international figure in human rights 1667 01:22:41,227 --> 01:22:42,562 and crisis resolution... 1668 01:22:42,595 --> 01:22:44,197 [reporter 2] ...gained global recognition 1669 01:22:44,230 --> 01:22:46,533 with the Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney case, 1670 01:22:46,566 --> 01:22:48,101 which, of course, he won. 1671 01:22:48,134 --> 01:22:50,537 He leaves behind his wife, Bridget Jones, 1672 01:22:50,570 --> 01:22:53,373 and their two young children, Billy and Mabel. 1673 01:22:53,406 --> 01:22:57,110 -More on this story as we get it. -[breathes deeply] 1674 01:23:53,733 --> 01:23:55,301 [Bridget] Dearest darling Mark, 1675 01:23:56,903 --> 01:23:59,406 it's your birthday on Sunday, and... 1676 01:23:59,439 --> 01:24:01,174 [breathes deeply] 1677 01:24:01,207 --> 01:24:04,377 ...I'm just no good at doing this on my own. 1678 01:24:06,680 --> 01:24:08,748 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother. 1679 01:24:08,782 --> 01:24:12,419 I'm sorry I got caught up with a callow toy boy. 1680 01:24:12,452 --> 01:24:16,256 I'm sorry I'm late for school and that Billy's withdrawn. 1681 01:24:17,857 --> 01:24:19,859 They're growing up without you. 1682 01:24:21,461 --> 01:24:22,796 How is Billy going to understand 1683 01:24:22,829 --> 01:24:26,166 how to be a man without his father? 1684 01:24:26,199 --> 01:24:28,201 How is Mabel going to live her life 1685 01:24:28,234 --> 01:24:30,236 having never really known you at all? 1686 01:24:31,604 --> 01:24:33,306 Please forgive me for being upset 1687 01:24:33,340 --> 01:24:36,843 about anything which isn't about not having you. 1688 01:24:36,876 --> 01:24:39,779 Please help me find a way to do this 1689 01:24:39,813 --> 01:24:44,217 without feeling like I'm ruining the most important part of my life. 1690 01:24:46,686 --> 01:24:49,222 The only part that still has you in it. 1691 01:25:04,237 --> 01:25:07,507 I have to put down how many tickets we need for my Christmas concert. 1692 01:25:07,540 --> 01:25:09,876 -Mm-hmm. -Should I put down two? For you and Mabel? 1693 01:25:09,909 --> 01:25:10,810 Put three. 1694 01:25:10,844 --> 01:25:14,347 Mabel, me and Chloe. 1695 01:25:14,381 --> 01:25:16,349 OK. Three. 1696 01:25:17,317 --> 01:25:18,318 Finished. 1697 01:25:18,351 --> 01:25:19,352 [Billy] Me too. 1698 01:25:22,555 --> 01:25:23,890 [Bridget gasps] 1699 01:25:28,728 --> 01:25:30,797 Daddy will love these. 1700 01:25:31,498 --> 01:25:32,899 They're perfect. 1701 01:25:32,932 --> 01:25:33,900 Yes. 1702 01:25:33,933 --> 01:25:35,502 Did you write one, Mummy? 1703 01:25:35,535 --> 01:25:36,903 I did. 1704 01:25:36,936 --> 01:25:39,239 Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy? 1705 01:25:39,272 --> 01:25:40,373 Of course we can. 1706 01:25:41,274 --> 01:25:42,242 [chuckles] 1707 01:25:42,275 --> 01:25:43,276 [kisses] 1708 01:25:48,281 --> 01:25:50,950 [Bridget] And Mark's birthday came as it always did... 1709 01:25:53,286 --> 01:25:57,657 like all the celebrations, Christmases and anniversaries. 1710 01:25:57,691 --> 01:26:00,460 All the love and all the pain. 1711 01:26:05,310 --> 01:26:06,299 [exhales] 1712 01:26:07,300 --> 01:26:09,302 OK. Ready? 1713 01:26:10,570 --> 01:26:11,738 On three. 1714 01:26:12,672 --> 01:26:16,209 One, two... 1715 01:26:23,817 --> 01:26:26,252 What am I going to do when I get to-- 1716 01:26:26,286 --> 01:26:27,454 ...three. 1717 01:27:11,664 --> 01:27:14,901 [Bridget] What I have is what I love most in the world. 1718 01:27:15,668 --> 01:27:17,670 Billy and Mabel. 1719 01:27:17,704 --> 01:27:19,506 Just the three of us. 1720 01:27:26,790 --> 01:27:28,581 ["Should I Stay or Should I Go" playing] 1721 01:27:28,615 --> 01:27:30,617 * Whoo!* 1722 01:27:30,650 --> 01:27:32,752 -[Bridget] Mr Walliker. -Mrs Darcy. 1723 01:27:32,786 --> 01:27:34,821 * Darling, you got to let me Know...* 1724 01:27:34,854 --> 01:27:36,623 [student] Billy! 1725 01:27:36,656 --> 01:27:38,525 -[Billy] Hello! -[student 2] Hello! 1726 01:27:38,558 --> 01:27:39,526 Ready? 1727 01:27:41,394 --> 01:27:44,764 [Bridget, children] * If you say that you are mine* 1728 01:27:44,798 --> 01:27:47,834 * I'll be here till the end Of time* 1729 01:27:49,669 --> 01:27:54,700 * So you got to let me know* 1730 01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:56,543 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1731 01:27:58,111 --> 01:28:00,914 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1732 01:28:02,480 --> 01:28:05,318 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1733 01:28:06,853 --> 01:28:10,790 * If I go There will be trouble* 1734 01:28:10,824 --> 01:28:14,794 * And if I stay It will be double* 1735 01:28:14,828 --> 01:28:19,366 * So you gotta let me know* 1736 01:28:19,399 --> 01:28:22,680 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1737 01:28:22,102 --> 01:28:23,636 Have a good walk, then. 1738 01:28:23,670 --> 01:28:24,671 [Walliker] Thank you. 1739 01:28:24,704 --> 01:28:26,873 [students] Bye. 1740 01:28:27,674 --> 01:28:28,842 All right, come in. 1741 01:28:29,542 --> 01:28:30,510 Now... 1742 01:28:32,812 --> 01:28:36,850 what this is not is a "walk." 1743 01:28:37,817 --> 01:28:39,786 We are about to embark as a team 1744 01:28:39,819 --> 01:28:42,555 on an orienteering adventure. 1745 01:28:42,589 --> 01:28:44,991 -So do you each have your compasses? -[students] Yes! 1746 01:28:45,250 --> 01:28:47,560 -Do you each have your maps? -Yes! 1747 01:28:47,594 --> 01:28:49,896 [Walliker] Right then, you know your groups. Hands up, Otters! 1748 01:28:49,929 --> 01:28:53,967 You'll go along with Mr Collins and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha. 1749 01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:57,971 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn the short straw, I'm afraid. 1750 01:28:58,400 --> 01:28:59,706 You'll be joining me and the Ospreys. 1751 01:28:59,739 --> 01:29:02,575 Now, this is very important. 1752 01:29:02,609 --> 01:29:07,130 Remember to open your eyes and look around. 1753 01:29:07,914 --> 01:29:09,150 This is one of the most 1754 01:29:09,490 --> 01:29:11,618 beautiful places on earth. 1755 01:29:13,553 --> 01:29:14,754 Enjoy it. 1756 01:29:14,788 --> 01:29:16,220 Let's go. 1757 01:29:18,910 --> 01:29:21,795 -You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy? -Absolutely! 1758 01:29:21,828 --> 01:29:23,163 I was a Queen's Guide. 1759 01:29:23,196 --> 01:29:26,990 -[chuckles] -[Bridget] Got my Pioneer badge. 1760 01:29:26,132 --> 01:29:29,736 I can rope, knot, splice and lash. 1761 01:29:29,769 --> 01:29:32,500 If you need anything tied up, 1762 01:29:32,380 --> 01:29:34,574 I'm your girl. [groans] 1763 01:29:34,607 --> 01:29:36,976 -[Walliker] Right then. Bring up the rear. -[students giggle] 1764 01:29:38,945 --> 01:29:41,648 Yes! Bringing up the rear! 1765 01:29:41,681 --> 01:29:43,830 Up! 1766 01:29:43,116 --> 01:29:44,918 We're gonna see much more water than that. 1767 01:29:44,951 --> 01:29:46,520 [Bridget] Up the rear! 1768 01:29:48,121 --> 01:29:49,122 Yep. 1769 01:29:49,155 --> 01:29:51,570 Make sure everybody's with us. 1770 01:29:51,925 --> 01:29:54,940 [students chattering] 1771 01:30:03,770 --> 01:30:05,710 [Walliker chuckles] 1772 01:30:10,760 --> 01:30:12,712 [Walliker] You can see the second waterfall, can't you? 1773 01:30:13,980 --> 01:30:15,810 [children chattering] 1774 01:30:15,115 --> 01:30:17,183 Well, those two are together. 1775 01:30:21,654 --> 01:30:23,556 [thunder rumbling] 1776 01:30:27,794 --> 01:30:28,928 [student shouting] 1777 01:30:28,962 --> 01:30:30,130 Coming! 1778 01:30:33,933 --> 01:30:35,568 [Walliker] Hurry along. Come on! 1779 01:30:42,642 --> 01:30:44,644 -[Walliker] Give me your hand. -Wow. So cool. 1780 01:30:44,678 --> 01:30:45,712 OK. 1781 01:30:47,847 --> 01:30:48,782 Right. 1782 01:30:49,849 --> 01:30:51,217 Is there a Wi-Fi password? 1783 01:30:51,251 --> 01:30:52,952 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock. 1784 01:30:52,986 --> 01:30:54,688 All right, take this tarp 1785 01:30:54,721 --> 01:30:56,589 and spread it out on the floor over there, all right? 1786 01:30:56,623 --> 01:30:58,580 [Billy] Come on. 1787 01:30:58,910 --> 01:31:00,593 [Bridget] It's all right. It's dry. [chuckles] 1788 01:31:03,563 --> 01:31:06,266 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow, 1789 01:31:06,299 --> 01:31:08,535 pick up some firewood for when the rain stops? 1790 01:31:08,568 --> 01:31:10,103 Yep. 1791 01:31:10,136 --> 01:31:12,572 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Do your best to get dry. 1792 01:31:16,760 --> 01:31:18,244 [Bridget] Ding-****ing-dong. 1793 01:31:18,278 --> 01:31:19,746 Whenever you're ready. 1794 01:31:30,290 --> 01:31:32,192 [Walliker] Looks like we'll be here for a while. 1795 01:31:35,729 --> 01:31:38,264 [fire crackling] 1796 01:31:44,300 --> 01:31:46,720 It really is absolutely disgusting. 1797 01:31:46,106 --> 01:31:48,608 [chuckles] Burnt to a crisp. 1798 01:31:48,641 --> 01:31:50,710 I think you'll find it's a brûlée. 1799 01:31:50,744 --> 01:31:51,878 [exhales] 1800 01:31:51,911 --> 01:31:53,460 [chuckles] 1801 01:31:54,147 --> 01:31:55,148 [Bridget] Come on, then. 1802 01:31:55,181 --> 01:31:56,950 Off to Bedfordshire. 1803 01:31:56,983 --> 01:31:58,818 [student 4] Goodnight, Mr Walliker. 1804 01:31:58,852 --> 01:32:01,540 -[Bridget] Here we are. -[Walliker] Sleep well, team. 1805 01:32:01,870 --> 01:32:03,156 -Well done today. -[student 4] Thank you. 1806 01:32:03,189 --> 01:32:04,858 Okay. Night night. 1807 01:32:06,326 --> 01:32:07,327 Goodnight. 1808 01:32:16,169 --> 01:32:18,238 -Mission accomplished. -[Walliker chuckles] 1809 01:32:18,271 --> 01:32:21,675 One barnful of sleeping children. 1810 01:32:21,708 --> 01:32:24,911 Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed by your resourcefulness, 1811 01:32:24,944 --> 01:32:26,680 but who travels to the Lake District 1812 01:32:26,713 --> 01:32:28,915 with a backpack full of marshmallows? [chuckles] 1813 01:32:28,948 --> 01:32:32,180 All parents know the marshmallow 1814 01:32:32,520 --> 01:32:34,954 is an essential tool, Mr Walliker. 1815 01:32:34,988 --> 01:32:36,890 [both chuckling] 1816 01:32:39,726 --> 01:32:41,628 Do you have children? 1817 01:32:41,661 --> 01:32:44,970 Uh, no. No, no, I never did any of that. 1818 01:32:45,980 --> 01:32:47,167 But, um... 1819 01:32:47,200 --> 01:32:48,802 It's funny. In the back of your mind, 1820 01:32:48,835 --> 01:32:51,710 you think it might happen, and-- [sighs] 1821 01:32:51,104 --> 01:32:52,939 But, you know, one day, 1822 01:32:52,972 --> 01:32:55,875 you're preparing a test for a periodic table... 1823 01:32:55,909 --> 01:33:00,280 -[chuckles] -...and you realise it's the 27th one you've set, 1824 01:33:00,313 --> 01:33:02,716 and there's just never been time 1825 01:33:02,749 --> 01:33:05,510 to really think about having anything like a... 1826 01:33:05,850 --> 01:33:06,853 like a family in between. 1827 01:33:11,240 --> 01:33:12,192 But it's good. 1828 01:33:13,159 --> 01:33:15,950 It's good. I, uh... 1829 01:33:15,128 --> 01:33:16,396 Well, it suits me. 1830 01:33:18,310 --> 01:33:19,165 Mmm. 1831 01:33:20,734 --> 01:33:21,901 I see it does. 1832 01:33:21,935 --> 01:33:23,269 [both chuckle] 1833 01:33:25,138 --> 01:33:26,673 I mean, look at that. 1834 01:33:30,143 --> 01:33:31,277 All of it. 1835 01:33:34,147 --> 01:33:38,952 You asked me where's the wonder and the magic. 1836 01:33:41,870 --> 01:33:42,422 It's a good question. 1837 01:33:44,858 --> 01:33:46,159 I think it's here. 1838 01:33:47,427 --> 01:33:50,263 You don't believe in magic, Mr Walliker. 1839 01:33:50,296 --> 01:33:51,698 [Walliker] No. 1840 01:33:53,330 --> 01:33:54,434 Well, I've been thinking. 1841 01:34:00,907 --> 01:34:02,308 [both chuckle] 1842 01:34:05,879 --> 01:34:07,130 [Billy] Mummy? 1843 01:34:07,470 --> 01:34:08,481 Atticus is really frightened. 1844 01:34:08,515 --> 01:34:11,484 He says his mum sings Puccini to him when he's scared. 1845 01:34:11,518 --> 01:34:16,220 Well, he might have to settle for some early Take That, 1846 01:34:16,560 --> 01:34:18,458 but I'll see what I can do, okay? 1847 01:34:19,793 --> 01:34:21,161 Mr Walliker, 1848 01:34:21,194 --> 01:34:23,263 do you mind if I sit here for a minute? 1849 01:34:23,296 --> 01:34:24,964 Of course. Sit down. 1850 01:34:40,313 --> 01:34:42,349 -Is there anything you want to-- -It's just... 1851 01:34:43,249 --> 01:34:44,784 what if I forget him? 1852 01:34:45,952 --> 01:34:47,387 I don't wanna forget him. 1853 01:34:48,355 --> 01:34:50,223 But what if I do? 1854 01:34:56,830 --> 01:34:58,965 Let me tell you this, Billy, um... 1855 01:35:01,000 --> 01:35:04,838 Your dad is everywhere. 1856 01:35:06,940 --> 01:35:07,974 He's everywhere. 1857 01:35:08,842 --> 01:35:09,843 Right now... 1858 01:35:11,811 --> 01:35:13,279 in this moment. 1859 01:35:13,313 --> 01:35:15,515 And that's a scientific fact. 1860 01:35:17,830 --> 01:35:20,987 Energy is only transferred. 1861 01:35:22,880 --> 01:35:23,423 It can never be destroyed. 1862 01:35:24,290 --> 01:35:26,192 And more importantly, 1863 01:35:26,226 --> 01:35:28,294 your father is in you. 1864 01:35:30,263 --> 01:35:31,531 And Mabel. 1865 01:35:37,303 --> 01:35:38,805 Billy, tell me something... 1866 01:35:41,341 --> 01:35:42,509 one thing... 1867 01:35:43,943 --> 01:35:45,345 that you remember best 1868 01:35:46,112 --> 01:35:47,781 about your dad. 1869 01:35:56,220 --> 01:35:58,391 ["Turn on the Lights" plays] 1870 01:35:58,425 --> 01:36:02,595 * Another Christmas Is around the corner* 1871 01:36:02,629 --> 01:36:07,330 * And I can feel us, darling Getting closer* 1872 01:36:07,670 --> 01:36:11,400 * It's coming down the road And stopping it now* 1873 01:36:11,370 --> 01:36:14,941 * Stopping it now Is impossible...* 1874 01:36:14,974 --> 01:36:15,909 Can we? 1875 01:36:17,430 --> 01:36:18,411 -May we. -Yes. 1876 01:36:18,445 --> 01:36:21,214 * I built a snowman out The back* 1877 01:36:21,247 --> 01:36:26,190 * It came alive And flew me Round this sleepy town* 1878 01:36:26,520 --> 01:36:29,890 * I put an old scarf round Its neck...* 1879 01:36:29,122 --> 01:36:30,557 [Bridget] Careful! 1880 01:36:30,590 --> 01:36:32,125 * And every time You kiss me...* 1881 01:36:32,158 --> 01:36:33,226 [Walliker] Chop-chop. 1882 01:36:33,259 --> 01:36:34,561 One, two. One, two. 1883 01:36:34,594 --> 01:36:36,162 [Bridget] May I have your hot chocolate? 1884 01:36:36,196 --> 01:36:38,965 -[Mabel] No. No! Marshmallows! -[Bridget] Yes. Yes. 1885 01:36:38,998 --> 01:36:42,168 [Walliker] Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat? Come on. 1886 01:36:42,202 --> 01:36:43,903 -Is that all right? -[Mabel giggles] 1887 01:36:43,937 --> 01:36:45,105 [Walliker chuckles] 1888 01:36:45,138 --> 01:36:47,273 -Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy. -No. 1889 01:36:47,307 --> 01:36:48,908 Show's starting. 1890 01:36:48,942 --> 01:36:51,440 Yes, of course. 1891 01:36:51,770 --> 01:36:53,546 [flutes playing, off-key] 1892 01:37:00,320 --> 01:37:01,855 [shushes] 1893 01:37:04,491 --> 01:37:06,393 -That sounds fantastic. -[Nicolette] Yeah. 1894 01:37:06,426 --> 01:37:08,610 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00. 1895 01:37:08,940 --> 01:37:10,463 -Oh, for God's sake, Victor. -[earbud clattering] 1896 01:37:10,497 --> 01:37:12,432 ****ing prick. 1897 01:37:15,368 --> 01:37:17,137 -[flute ends] -[chuckles] 1898 01:37:17,170 --> 01:37:20,373 Bravo! Bravo. 1899 01:37:25,450 --> 01:37:27,647 [Walliker] Thank you, Eros and Atticus Soltani-Watkins. 1900 01:37:29,150 --> 01:37:31,351 Now, although it's not on the programme, 1901 01:37:31,384 --> 01:37:34,870 we do have one-- one more song. 1902 01:37:34,120 --> 01:37:38,191 Um, I happen to know it means a lot to our singer. 1903 01:37:38,224 --> 01:37:42,429 And, um... well, this is his first-ever solo performance, 1904 01:37:43,563 --> 01:37:45,465 and I know he'll do himself proud. 1905 01:38:06,860 --> 01:38:08,488 ["Anything" playing] 1906 01:38:17,163 --> 01:38:21,468 * I'd do anything* 1907 01:38:21,501 --> 01:38:26,406 * For you, dear, anything* 1908 01:38:26,439 --> 01:38:31,344 * For you mean everything* 1909 01:38:31,378 --> 01:38:35,348 * To me* 1910 01:38:35,382 --> 01:38:37,250 * I know that* 1911 01:38:37,283 --> 01:38:41,221 * I'd go anywhere* 1912 01:38:41,254 --> 01:38:46,359 * For your smile, anywhere* 1913 01:38:46,393 --> 01:38:49,295 * For your smile* 1914 01:38:49,329 --> 01:38:55,435 * Everywhere I'd see* 1915 01:38:55,468 --> 01:38:58,438 * Would you climb a hill?* 1916 01:38:58,471 --> 01:39:00,400 -* Anything* -[audience chuckles] 1917 01:39:00,730 --> 01:39:04,678 * Wear a daffodil? Anything* 1918 01:39:04,711 --> 01:39:09,249 * Leave me all your will? Anything* 1919 01:39:09,282 --> 01:39:12,585 * Even fight my Bill?* 1920 01:39:12,619 --> 01:39:14,587 * What? Fisticuffs?* 1921 01:39:14,621 --> 01:39:18,625 -* I'd risk everything* -[choir harmonising] 1922 01:39:18,658 --> 01:39:23,296 * For one kiss, everything* 1923 01:39:23,329 --> 01:39:28,234 * Yes, I'd do anything* 1924 01:39:28,268 --> 01:39:30,470 * Anything* 1925 01:39:30,503 --> 01:39:35,608 * For you* 1926 01:39:35,642 --> 01:39:38,780 [music ends] 1927 01:39:38,111 --> 01:39:39,612 [audience applauds] 1928 01:39:42,782 --> 01:39:44,584 [cheering] 1929 01:39:47,320 --> 01:39:48,388 [Chloe whoops] 1930 01:39:48,421 --> 01:39:49,556 Go, Billy! 1931 01:39:54,260 --> 01:39:55,195 [Walliker] Bravo! 1932 01:40:02,335 --> 01:40:04,304 [applause fades] 1933 01:40:08,575 --> 01:40:10,430 [applause silenced] 1934 01:40:30,163 --> 01:40:32,132 Oh, my darling. 1935 01:40:32,165 --> 01:40:33,299 [sobs] 1936 01:40:34,434 --> 01:40:37,404 Daddy would be so proud of you. 1937 01:40:37,437 --> 01:40:38,571 I know. 1938 01:40:40,874 --> 01:40:42,709 [Walliker] Well done, Billy. You nailed it. 1939 01:40:42,742 --> 01:40:45,145 -Were you surprised, Mum? -Yes. 1940 01:40:45,178 --> 01:40:47,213 -Genius. -Up top. 1941 01:40:47,247 --> 01:40:49,149 [Walliker, Billy chuckle] 1942 01:40:49,182 --> 01:40:51,718 -So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram? -Yes. 1943 01:40:51,751 --> 01:40:53,687 -And did you bring my-- -Yes. 1944 01:40:53,720 --> 01:40:55,855 Bikram! Nintendo! 1945 01:40:57,691 --> 01:41:00,593 Mr Walliker, Billy was... 1946 01:41:00,627 --> 01:41:02,762 The whole thing was... [chuckles] 1947 01:41:02,796 --> 01:41:06,199 -It was-- -It was magic, Mrs Darcy. 1948 01:41:06,232 --> 01:41:07,867 [Bridget] No, it wasn't. 1949 01:41:07,901 --> 01:41:10,203 What you've done for Billy... 1950 01:41:10,236 --> 01:41:11,571 [stammers] 1951 01:41:11,604 --> 01:41:14,140 People talk about moving on like it means, 1952 01:41:14,174 --> 01:41:16,576 you know, leaving something behind, 1953 01:41:16,609 --> 01:41:18,712 you know, leaving someone you love behind, 1954 01:41:18,745 --> 01:41:21,281 but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see 1955 01:41:21,314 --> 01:41:24,651 you can live at the same time as all the things you've lost, 1956 01:41:24,684 --> 01:41:28,855 and that you can be happy even without them. 1957 01:41:28,888 --> 01:41:31,725 And tonight, I saw my son up there 1958 01:41:31,758 --> 01:41:35,462 and I understood for the first time in four years 1959 01:41:35,495 --> 01:41:37,597 that he's going to be okay. 1960 01:41:37,630 --> 01:41:39,666 And so, we're going to be okay. 1961 01:41:39,699 --> 01:41:41,434 And you did that, Mr Walliker. 1962 01:41:41,468 --> 01:41:42,836 It wasn't magic. 1963 01:41:43,770 --> 01:41:45,739 It was you. 1964 01:41:45,772 --> 01:41:50,477 So, I'll overlook your tendency to be a little aloof-- 1965 01:41:50,510 --> 01:41:52,545 Some might call it condescending. 1966 01:41:52,579 --> 01:41:54,347 Supercilious is a good word 1967 01:41:54,381 --> 01:41:58,218 and you probably don't hear it enough, but the point is... 1968 01:42:01,354 --> 01:42:02,422 thank you. 1969 01:42:04,591 --> 01:42:05,759 [Nicolette] Mr Walliker? 1970 01:42:07,394 --> 01:42:09,796 We're going to The Spaniards for a drink. 1971 01:42:09,829 --> 01:42:13,500 Um, and if you wanted to come, 1972 01:42:13,533 --> 01:42:15,969 well, we'd be there 1973 01:42:16,200 --> 01:42:20,540 because that's where we'll be. 1974 01:42:20,573 --> 01:42:23,743 [Nicolette] Can't be taught. Can't be taught. It was unbelievable. 1975 01:42:23,777 --> 01:42:25,645 -Mrs Darcy. -The flautists, an absolute triumph. 1976 01:42:25,679 --> 01:42:27,847 [Francesca] One of the best Christmas shows I've ever seen. 1977 01:42:27,881 --> 01:42:30,383 [Nicolette] Christmas shows don't get much better than that. Extraordinary. 1978 01:42:30,417 --> 01:42:32,585 No, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that. 1979 01:42:32,619 --> 01:42:34,454 -[Shazzer] Billy! How did it go? -Billy! 1980 01:42:34,487 --> 01:42:35,622 -I did a solo. -[Jude] Oh! 1981 01:42:35,655 --> 01:42:36,923 Congratulations. 1982 01:42:36,956 --> 01:42:39,259 Come here. Have a squidge. 1983 01:42:39,292 --> 01:42:41,261 He was brilliant. 1984 01:42:41,294 --> 01:42:42,929 -Hello, Mabel. How are you? -[Shazzer] Well done. I bet you were. 1985 01:42:42,962 --> 01:42:44,864 -Chloe has a video. -[Tom] You look lovely. 1986 01:42:44,898 --> 01:42:46,499 -[Shazzer] There's a video? -[Jude] A video? 1987 01:42:46,533 --> 01:42:47,767 [Shazzer] Chloe? Video? 1988 01:42:49,335 --> 01:42:50,637 [Tom] Congratulations. 1989 01:42:50,670 --> 01:42:52,272 Hi. Uh, four, uh... 1990 01:42:52,305 --> 01:42:54,441 large glasses of white wine, please. 1991 01:42:54,474 --> 01:42:55,809 [Shazzer] Wine. Wine. 1992 01:42:55,842 --> 01:42:57,877 Oh, house white. Party petrol. 1993 01:42:57,911 --> 01:43:00,513 -[Billy] Bikram's here! -[server] Your wine, ladies. 1994 01:43:00,547 --> 01:43:03,550 -[Chloe] What are you doing down there? -Nothing. 1995 01:43:03,583 --> 01:43:05,752 -[Shazzer] Well, there we go. -Congratulations, darling. 1996 01:43:05,785 --> 01:43:07,787 -To Billy. -He was wonderful. Billy. 1997 01:43:07,821 --> 01:43:09,956 -Absolutely wonderful. -[Shazzer] Yes. 1998 01:43:09,989 --> 01:43:13,259 But I can tell you, I... I knew from his glow it was a triumph. 1999 01:43:13,293 --> 01:43:14,894 -[Bridget chuckles] -No, honestly. 2000 01:43:14,928 --> 01:43:16,863 I mean, once you've tasted success... 2001 01:43:16,896 --> 01:43:19,320 [Bridget, Shazzer laughing] 2002 01:43:19,650 --> 01:43:20,900 [Jude] You had literally one song, Tom. 2003 01:43:20,934 --> 01:43:23,436 Yes, you know, my mother always says 2004 01:43:23,470 --> 01:43:25,939 if you've got nothing nice to say, then shut the **** up. 2005 01:43:25,972 --> 01:43:27,807 Your mother's right, so shut the **** up. 2006 01:43:27,841 --> 01:43:29,843 [Shazzer] We should never shut the **** up. 2007 01:43:29,876 --> 01:43:32,312 Stop telling everyone else to shut the **** up. 2008 01:43:32,345 --> 01:43:34,314 [Tom] We can, yes. 2009 01:43:34,347 --> 01:43:35,315 [chattering within] 2010 01:43:37,170 --> 01:43:39,619 -[Billy] No. Come on. -[Bikram] Good overtaking. 2011 01:43:39,652 --> 01:43:41,421 No, I didn't. That was him. 2012 01:43:41,454 --> 01:43:43,289 Mum. That way. 2013 01:43:50,300 --> 01:43:51,498 [Bridget] Mr Walliker! 2014 01:43:53,433 --> 01:43:54,601 Aren't you coming in? 2015 01:43:54,634 --> 01:43:56,603 Well, actually, I was. I... 2016 01:43:56,636 --> 01:43:58,505 I wanted to say something to you, 2017 01:43:58,538 --> 01:44:00,600 but it's the wrong time. 2018 01:44:00,400 --> 01:44:02,409 You're there with everyone, and... [stammers] 2019 01:44:02,442 --> 01:44:04,978 I'm better with people about 4 foot tall. [chuckles] 2020 01:44:05,110 --> 01:44:08,782 4'1". That's my sweet spot, as it turns out, so... 2021 01:44:09,883 --> 01:44:11,551 Where are you going? 2022 01:44:16,589 --> 01:44:19,426 Well, look, I really just wanted to discuss Newton. 2023 01:44:19,459 --> 01:44:21,610 Newton? 2024 01:44:21,940 --> 01:44:24,970 I mean, we already covered Newton's second law, gravity, 2025 01:44:24,130 --> 01:44:26,666 in the tree when you were pretending not to be stuck. 2026 01:44:26,700 --> 01:44:30,537 But the one that's always fascinated me isn't the second law. 2027 01:44:30,570 --> 01:44:33,707 I mean, any idiot can see that an apple's gonna fall down. 2028 01:44:33,740 --> 01:44:35,410 What's it gonna do, fall up? 2029 01:44:35,750 --> 01:44:37,344 It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second. 2030 01:44:37,377 --> 01:44:40,547 No, the one that's always interested me is the third law. 2031 01:44:40,580 --> 01:44:42,480 You'll know what that is. 2032 01:44:42,820 --> 01:44:43,383 Yes. 2033 01:44:43,416 --> 01:44:46,353 [chuckles] Of course. But go on. 2034 01:44:46,386 --> 01:44:49,889 For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. 2035 01:44:49,923 --> 01:44:51,991 It's a fundamental law of our universe. 2036 01:44:52,250 --> 01:44:54,527 It's, uh... It's an inescapable fact of our existence, 2037 01:44:54,561 --> 01:44:56,629 and I was coming to say that you are... 2038 01:44:57,797 --> 01:45:00,834 this force, Mrs Darcy... 2039 01:45:02,680 --> 01:45:03,200 to me. 2040 01:45:04,938 --> 01:45:08,541 Equal and... opposite. 2041 01:45:08,575 --> 01:45:13,460 And just as Newton predicted, it's irresistible. 2042 01:45:15,582 --> 01:45:16,549 I see it. 2043 01:45:18,852 --> 01:45:21,388 Right now, just standing here, I feel it, 2044 01:45:21,421 --> 01:45:24,824 and it's as real to me as the things I loved when I was a boy 2045 01:45:24,858 --> 01:45:26,826 and first started looking at the world. 2046 01:45:26,860 --> 01:45:29,462 You see, it's not really order 2047 01:45:29,496 --> 01:45:32,799 that we science people fall in love with, Mrs Darcy, 2048 01:45:32,832 --> 01:45:34,868 it's the beauty in things. 2049 01:45:37,604 --> 01:45:38,872 The beauty, 2050 01:45:39,639 --> 01:45:40,974 to be specific... 2051 01:45:44,611 --> 01:45:45,945 in you. 2052 01:45:50,650 --> 01:45:51,951 Oh. 2053 01:45:52,819 --> 01:45:55,155 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 2054 01:45:55,188 --> 01:45:57,900 -I don't know what I was thinking. -No, no. 2055 01:45:57,123 --> 01:45:59,920 This is exactly why I decided not to come in. 2056 01:45:59,125 --> 01:46:01,940 I've clearly got entirely the wrong end of the-- 2057 01:46:01,127 --> 01:46:02,729 -Mr Walliker... -Look, I just want you to know 2058 01:46:02,762 --> 01:46:04,698 that this is not going to be awkward at all. At all. 2059 01:46:04,731 --> 01:46:07,434 -Please stop talking. [shushing] -With Billy and school. 2060 01:46:07,467 --> 01:46:09,703 Let's just pretend this never happened, please. Let's just-- 2061 01:46:18,745 --> 01:46:21,114 It was either that or a whistle, 2062 01:46:21,147 --> 01:46:24,150 and I haven't got a whistle, Mr Walliker. 2063 01:46:26,619 --> 01:46:28,154 Call me Scott, for God's sake. 2064 01:46:30,230 --> 01:46:31,558 Yes, Mr Walliker. 2065 01:46:42,135 --> 01:46:44,170 ["Am I the Same Girl" playing] 2066 01:46:49,509 --> 01:46:52,612 Right, shake it, shake it, shake it. No, go mad. 2067 01:46:52,645 --> 01:46:54,114 That's it. Now pour it out. 2068 01:46:55,181 --> 01:46:56,149 Very good. 2069 01:46:56,916 --> 01:46:58,985 Insert one cherry. 2070 01:46:59,190 --> 01:47:02,422 And that, my friends, is how we make a Dirty *****. 2071 01:47:04,491 --> 01:47:07,761 Christ. That may even be a Filthy *****. Pass that round. 2072 01:47:07,794 --> 01:47:10,663 Now, similar but not at all the same, 2073 01:47:11,531 --> 01:47:12,732 the Bad Mummy. 2074 01:47:12,766 --> 01:47:14,634 Little bit of vodka. 2075 01:47:14,667 --> 01:47:16,690 -Yeah? -Come here. 2076 01:47:16,102 --> 01:47:18,710 Okay, you're in charge. 2077 01:47:22,275 --> 01:47:23,743 [exclaims] 2078 01:47:23,777 --> 01:47:25,645 Is that who I think it is? 2079 01:47:25,679 --> 01:47:27,847 So they tell me, yeah. What do you think? 2080 01:47:27,881 --> 01:47:30,830 [Enzo] You have sad eyes, angelo mio. 2081 01:47:30,116 --> 01:47:32,752 Why so sad? They make me sad. 2082 01:47:32,786 --> 01:47:34,521 I want to see the smile. 2083 01:47:34,554 --> 01:47:35,722 Stop it. 2084 01:47:35,755 --> 01:47:37,524 He's 16! 2085 01:47:37,557 --> 01:47:39,225 Yeah. Late starter. 2086 01:47:39,259 --> 01:47:41,270 [Nicolette] Where in Italy are you from? 2087 01:47:41,610 --> 01:47:42,896 -Bologna. -Bologna. 2088 01:47:42,929 --> 01:47:44,970 -Yeah. -Say it again. 2089 01:47:44,130 --> 01:47:45,932 -Bologna. [chuckles] -Bologna. 2090 01:47:45,965 --> 01:47:47,834 Enzo, the kids are gonna watch a movie upstairs. You coming? 2091 01:47:47,867 --> 01:47:48,968 He'll stay. 2092 01:47:50,737 --> 01:47:51,705 Boys. 2093 01:47:53,740 --> 01:47:55,750 I think you're proud. 2094 01:47:55,108 --> 01:47:56,943 Relief, really, Jones. 2095 01:47:56,976 --> 01:47:58,678 Kin, as you said. 2096 01:48:00,113 --> 01:48:01,781 -Enzo. -Yeah? 2097 01:48:01,815 --> 01:48:03,116 [in Italian] Vieni qua. 2098 01:48:03,149 --> 01:48:04,718 -I beg your pardon. -Okay. 2099 01:48:04,751 --> 01:48:06,820 -Ciao. -Ciao. 2100 01:48:06,853 --> 01:48:08,755 [Daniel] This is your hostess 2101 01:48:08,788 --> 01:48:11,791 and one of the great loves of your father's life, Bridget Jones. 2102 01:48:14,661 --> 01:48:16,960 Ooh! 2103 01:48:16,129 --> 01:48:18,798 It's nice to meet you, Enzo. 2104 01:48:18,832 --> 01:48:20,300 [speaking Italian] 2105 01:48:20,333 --> 01:48:23,200 He says it is a great honour to meet you. 2106 01:48:23,360 --> 01:48:26,272 -Oh! -[speaking Italian] 2107 01:48:28,174 --> 01:48:30,844 And then he says that those are 2108 01:48:30,877 --> 01:48:33,146 very, very silly little boots. 2109 01:48:36,282 --> 01:48:38,685 You have incredible posture. 2110 01:48:39,853 --> 01:48:41,154 You're not Danish, are you? 2111 01:48:41,187 --> 01:48:42,989 Well, I can be anything you want. 2112 01:48:43,230 --> 01:48:45,158 It is, isn't it? I know, and it's working really well for you, 2113 01:48:45,191 --> 01:48:47,260 but all I'm saying is maybe it's time for a rebrand. 2114 01:48:47,293 --> 01:48:49,295 Have you ever thought about having a pixie cut? 2115 01:48:49,329 --> 01:48:50,764 [scoffs] No. 2116 01:48:50,797 --> 01:48:52,980 Oh, you have the face for it. 2117 01:48:52,132 --> 01:48:54,134 And it's utterly changed my life. [chuckles] 2118 01:48:54,167 --> 01:48:56,736 Nonsense, Pam. You're perfect just as you are. 2119 01:48:56,770 --> 01:48:58,571 Is that a Dirty *****? 2120 01:48:59,372 --> 01:49:01,141 Steady on. 2121 01:49:01,174 --> 01:49:03,843 Oh, yes, please. Yes, thank you very much. 2122 01:49:03,877 --> 01:49:05,645 [Shazzer] Thanks. 2123 01:49:05,679 --> 01:49:07,147 -[Tom] Just what the doctor ordered. -[Jude] Me too. 2124 01:49:07,180 --> 01:49:09,949 -Always. Take a horn. -Give me the ****ing horn. 2125 01:49:09,983 --> 01:49:11,718 -Thank you, thank you. -[Bridget] Yep. 2126 01:49:11,751 --> 01:49:15,188 -Mmm. Oh. -[Tom] Mmm. Mmm. 2127 01:49:15,221 --> 01:49:18,692 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have done in the past 20 years without you lot. 2128 01:49:18,725 --> 01:49:21,227 -Twenty? -No, it's not. It's thirty? 2129 01:49:21,261 --> 01:49:23,196 Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest. 2130 01:49:23,229 --> 01:49:25,665 We've had some ****ing fun though, haven't we? 2131 01:49:28,935 --> 01:49:30,603 We have. 2132 01:49:32,720 --> 01:49:35,642 [guests] Ten, nine, eight, 2133 01:49:35,675 --> 01:49:39,450 seven, six, five, 2134 01:49:39,790 --> 01:49:41,681 four, three, 2135 01:49:41,715 --> 01:49:43,817 two, one! 2136 01:49:43,850 --> 01:49:46,686 Happy New Year! 2137 01:49:46,720 --> 01:49:48,822 -[party blowers blaring] -[guests cheering] 2138 01:49:50,690 --> 01:49:52,580 * ...be forgot* 2139 01:49:52,920 --> 01:49:54,961 * And never brought to mind?* 2140 01:49:54,994 --> 01:49:56,663 Happy New Year. 2141 01:49:56,696 --> 01:50:00,700 * Should auld acquaintance Be forgot* 2142 01:50:00,734 --> 01:50:05,380 * For the sake Of auld lang syne?* 2143 01:50:05,305 --> 01:50:09,809 * For auld lang syne* 2144 01:50:09,843 --> 01:50:14,314 * We'll take a cup Of kindness yet* 2145 01:50:14,347 --> 01:50:18,685 * For the sake Of auld lang syne* 2146 01:50:18,718 --> 01:50:20,860 [piano flourish] 2147 01:50:20,120 --> 01:50:22,880 [playing boogie-woogie piano] 2148 01:50:22,122 --> 01:50:23,823 [guests cheering] 2149 01:50:26,126 --> 01:50:27,727 [chattering, whooping] 2150 01:50:29,620 --> 01:50:30,730 [party blower honking] 2151 01:50:37,137 --> 01:50:38,738 [music fades] 2152 01:51:54,280 --> 01:51:55,782 [Mabel] I forgot to check. 2153 01:52:00,987 --> 01:52:01,921 Look. 2154 01:52:13,867 --> 01:52:15,301 [owl hooting] 2155 01:52:29,883 --> 01:52:30,917 [Mabel] Goodnight. 2156 01:52:50,360 --> 01:52:51,504 Ooh. 2157 01:52:51,538 --> 01:52:53,206 Bloody zip. 2158 01:52:54,207 --> 01:52:55,475 [sighs] 2159 01:52:56,476 --> 01:52:58,144 [groans] 2160 01:52:58,178 --> 01:53:01,448 ******* tyrannical dress people. 2161 01:53:06,353 --> 01:53:07,721 I've got it. 2162 01:53:10,924 --> 01:53:12,225 Thank you. 2163 01:53:17,997 --> 01:53:19,366 Happy New Year. 2164 01:53:19,399 --> 01:53:21,901 Happy New Year. [chuckles] 2165 01:53:56,970 --> 01:53:59,139 ["It Isn't Perfect, But It Might Be" playing] 2166 01:53:59,172 --> 01:54:01,875 [vocalising] 2167 01:54:03,410 --> 01:54:06,980 * I could go back to The old place * 2168 01:54:07,130 --> 01:54:10,383 * And write your name On every blank page * 2169 01:54:10,417 --> 01:54:14,254 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2170 01:54:14,287 --> 01:54:17,524 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2171 01:54:17,557 --> 01:54:21,327 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2172 01:54:21,361 --> 01:54:24,898 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2173 01:54:24,931 --> 01:54:28,468 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2174 01:54:28,501 --> 01:54:33,173 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2175 01:54:33,206 --> 01:54:36,943 [vocalising] 2176 01:54:40,513 --> 01:54:44,884 * There's a lot of ground To cover * 2177 01:54:44,918 --> 01:54:47,587 * One foot and then the other * 2178 01:54:47,620 --> 01:54:53,260 * On my way, my way To somewhere new * 2179 01:54:54,961 --> 01:54:58,498 * A few false starts Can you forgive this * 2180 01:54:58,531 --> 01:55:01,968 * Cautious car and just bear with it * 2181 01:55:02,100 --> 01:55:07,607 * While it does what I thought it couldn't do * 2182 01:55:07,640 --> 01:55:11,478 * I could go back to The old place * 2183 01:55:11,511 --> 01:55:15,150 * And write your name On every blank page * 2184 01:55:15,480 --> 01:55:18,651 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2185 01:55:18,685 --> 01:55:22,550 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2186 01:55:22,880 --> 01:55:25,658 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2187 01:55:25,692 --> 01:55:29,195 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2188 01:55:29,229 --> 01:55:33,660 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2189 01:55:33,990 --> 01:55:37,670 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2190 01:55:37,704 --> 01:55:43,760 [vocalising] 2191 01:55:46,790 --> 01:55:49,416 * It just might be It just might be * 2192 01:55:49,449 --> 01:55:52,952 * Treading lightly Thinking slightly * 2193 01:55:52,986 --> 01:55:56,523 * It just might be It just might be * 2194 01:55:56,556 --> 01:55:58,458 * It just might be * 2195 01:55:58,491 --> 01:56:02,620 * Oh, I can go back to The old place * 2196 01:56:02,950 --> 01:56:05,665 * And write your name On every blank page * 2197 01:56:05,699 --> 01:56:09,502 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2198 01:56:09,536 --> 01:56:12,972 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2199 01:56:13,600 --> 01:56:16,543 * That there's no need to Look behind me * 2200 01:56:16,576 --> 01:56:20,180 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2201 01:56:20,213 --> 01:56:23,917 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2202 01:56:23,950 --> 01:56:28,388 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2203 01:56:28,421 --> 01:56:32,920 [vocalising] 2204 01:56:32,125 --> 01:56:34,270 * Like it might be * 2205 01:56:35,428 --> 01:56:38,164 * Like it might be * 2206 01:56:38,198 --> 01:56:40,133 [vocalising] 2207 01:56:40,166 --> 01:56:44,404 * Whoo, whoo * 2208 01:56:47,307 --> 01:56:50,677 * Might be, might be Might be * 2209 01:56:53,460 --> 01:56:54,948 [music ends]