1
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,740
Kinda lonesome back here.

2
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,843
Yeah, little help.

3
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:28,782
Okay, um, just, I have to keep
my hands on the wheel.

4
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,218
Excuse me. Whoo!

5
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,540
Ah, Dopinder.

6
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:36,122
Pool. Dead.

7
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,858
Hmm, nice.

8
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,270
Smells good, no?

9
00:02:41,270 --> 00:02:43,630
Not the Daffodil Daydream.
The girl.

10
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,650
Ah, yes. Gita.

11
00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:47,000
Hmm.
She is quite lovely.

12
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,336
She would have made me
a very agreeable wife.

13
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,404
But, um...

14
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:55,175
Gita's heart has been stolen
by my cousin Bandhu.

15
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,912
He is as dishonorable
as he is attractive.

16
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,820
Dopinder, I'm starting to think

17
00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:04,170
there's a reason
I'm in this cab today.

18
00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:05,752
Yeah, sir, you called for it,
remember?

19
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:10,757
No, my slender brown friend.
Love is a beautiful thing.

20
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,158
When you find it,
the whole world

21
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,426
tastes like Daffodil Daydream.

22
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,863
So you gotta hold onto love...

23
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,164
...tight!
Ah.

24
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,699
And never let go.

25
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,167
Don't make
the same mistakes I did.

26
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,937
Got it?
Yeah.

27
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,706
Or else the whole world tastes
like Mama June after hot yoga.

28
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,420
Sir, what does
Miss Mama June taste like?

29
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:32,450
Like two hobos ****ing in a shoe
filled with piss. Okay, enough.

30
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,981
I can go all day, Dopinder.
The point is, it's bad!

31
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,830
Hmm, it's bad.

32
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,919
Uh, why the fancy
red suit, Mr. Pool?

33
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,220
Oh, that's because
it's Christmas Day, Dopinder.

34
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:44,457
And I'm after someone
on my naughty list.

35
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,159
I've been waiting one year,
three weeks...

36
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,128
six days and, oh...

37
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,463
14 minutes to make him fix
what he did to me.

38
00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:54,401
And what did he do
to you, Mr. Pool?

39
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,935
This shit...

40
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:58,138
Boo!

41
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,160
They won't disappoint.

42
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,495
They'd better not.

43
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:25,650
And what about
next month's shipment?

44
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:26,800
There won't be one.

45
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,435
You're not the only one
with a war to win.

46
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,710
That won't do.

47
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:36,476
See, we've had
this small disruption

48
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,944
to our supply chain...

49
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,983
We'd appreciate your patience.

50
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,954
Okay.

51
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,423
We'll deliver in full
the following month.

52
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,195
Pleasure doing
business with you.

53
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,800
****ing mutant.

54
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,212
Oh, shit!

55
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,140
I forgot my ammo bag.

56
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,181
Shall we turn back?

57
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,549
No, no time.

58
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,251
**** it. I got this.

59
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:21,554
9, 10, 11, 12 bullets,
or bust.

60
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,889
Right here!

61
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:27,260
That's, uh, $27.50.

62
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,620
I... I never carry a wallet
when I'm working.

63
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,930
Ruins the lines
of my suit.

64
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,650
Oh.
But, uh,

65
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:33,400
how about
a crisp high five?

66
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,534
Okay.

67
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,203
Merry Christmas.

68
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,340
And a convivial Tuesday
in April to you too, Pool!

69
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,910
♪ Hey, yeah
I wanna shoop, baby

70
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,880
♪ Shoop shooop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop

71
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,848
♪ Shoop ba-doop,
ba-doop, ba-doop

72
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,884
♪ You're packed and you're
stacked 'specially in the back

73
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,520
♪ Brother, wanna thank your
mother for a butt like that

74
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,291
♪ If looks could kill
you would be an uzi

75
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,926
♪ You're a shotgun, bang! ♪

76
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,528
Wha... Oh!

77
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,964
Oh, hello. I know, right?

78
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,933
Whose balls
did I have to fondle

79
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,568
to get my very own movie?

80
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,969
I can't tell you,

81
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,439
but it does rhyme
with "Polverine."

82
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,275
And let me tell you,

83
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:18,144
he's got a nice pair of
smooth criminals down under.

84
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:22,315
Anyway, I got places to be,
a face to fix and, oh...

85
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:25,118
Bad guys to kill.

86
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,458
Maximum effort.

87
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,608
Ha!

88
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,445
Rich Corinthian leather.

89
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,649
I'm looking for Francis!

90
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,451
Have you seen this man?

91
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,520
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

92
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,361
Ow. Ow!

93
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,462
Yanky, yanky!

94
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,464
I've never said this,
but don't swallow.

95
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,687
Shit.

96
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,756
Did I leave the stove on?

97
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,750
Now, breaking news.

98
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,144
A multi-car collision
turned shots fired

99
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,460
on the crosstown expressway
this morning.

100
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:35,281
Gridlock has kept
police from the scene.

101
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,751
Residents are advised
to remain in their homes.

102
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,419
The assailant
appears to be armed,

103
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,210
dangerous, and wearing...

104
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:42,455
a red suit.
A red suit.

105
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,357
Deadpool.

106
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:48,280
Negasonic!
Come, we have mission.

107
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,463
Colossus, wait up.

108
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,800
I've given Deadpool
every chance to join us...

109
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,169
but he'd rather
act like a child.

110
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,538
A heavily-armed child.

111
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:02,442
When will he grow up and see
benefits of becoming X-Man?

112
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,577
Which benefits?
The matching unitards?

113
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,479
The house that blows up
every few years?

114
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,580
Please.

115
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,483
House blowing up
builds character.

116
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,419
You ate breakfast, yes?

117
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,555
Breakfast is most
important meal of day.

118
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,826
Here, protein bar.
Good for bones.

119
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:22,495
Deadpool may try
to break yours.

120
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,305
Get out of the way!

121
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,224
Hey! Whoo!

122
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,803
Wait!

123
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,106
You may be wondering,
"Why the red suit?"

124
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,141
Well, that's so bad guys
can't see me bleed.

125
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,610
This guy's got the right idea.

126
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,145
He wore the brown pants.

127
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:16,216
Fine!
I only have 12 bullets...

128
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,784
so you're gonna
have to share!

129
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,686
Let's count them down.

130
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,273
Shit.

131
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,878
Mother****er!

132
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,380
10! Shit!

133
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:48,915
Nine. ****.

134
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,517
Eight.

135
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,584
Shit-****!

136
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,556
Bad Deadpool.

137
00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:00,260
Seven.
Good Deadpool.

138
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,207
Oh!

139
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,118
Someone's not counting. Six.

140
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,206
Oh!

141
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,446
Four...

142
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,349
Gotcha.

143
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,285
Right up main street.

144
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,324
Three, two!

145
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,292
Stupid! Worth it.

146
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,484
Ah!

147
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,621
I'm touching myself tonight.

148
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,823
Francis!

149
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,291
Francis...

150
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,429
What the shit-biscuit!

151
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,264
Where you at,
Francis?

152
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,274
You're not Francis.

153
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,651
Really?
Rolling up the sleeves?

154
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,463
You're
probably thinking,

155
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,398
"My boyfriend said
this was a superhero movie...

156
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,866
"but that guy in the red suit
just turned

157
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,402
"that other guy
into a ****ing kabab!"

158
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:26,973
Well, I may be super,
but I'm no hero.

159
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,342
And yeah, technically,
this is a murder.

160
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,611
But some of the best love
stories start with a murder.

161
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,681
And that's exactly
what this is, a love story.

162
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,490
And to tell it right...

163
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:38,451
I gotta take you back
to long before

164
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:41,888
I squeezed this ***
into red spandex.

165
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,624
Look, would it help
if I slow it down for you?

166
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,993
I didn't order the pizza.

167
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,930
Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive?
Are you Mr. Merchant?

168
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:54,434
Yeah, the Mr. Merchant who
didn't order the ****ing pie!

169
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,602
Then who placed the call?

170
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,570
I did!

171
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,675
Pineapple and olive?

172
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,644
Sweet and salty.

173
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,812
The **** are you?

174
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,814
The **** you doing
in my crib...

175
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:08,982
Is it burnt crust?

176
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,917
I... God,
I hope not. Um...

177
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,852
Whoa... Man, look,
if this is about that poker game.

178
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,121
I told Howie,
I told him that...

179
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:19,125
Okay, uh, look,
just take whatever you want.

180
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,361
Thanks.

181
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,662
Sir, before you do
anything to him,

182
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,397
do you mind
if I get a big tip?

183
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,133
Uh, Jeremy, is it?

184
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,768
Umm-hmm.
Wade. Wade Wilson.

185
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,872
That is a no go
on the tiperoo, Jer.

186
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,741
I'm not here for him.

187
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,476
I'm here for you.

188
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,110
Oh.

189
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,779
Okay, wow, dodged
a big-time bullet on that one.

190
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,482
Not out of the woods yet.

191
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,818
You need to seriously ease up
on the bedazzling.

192
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,820
They're jeans,
not a chandelier.

193
00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:49,550
P.S. I'm keeping your wallet.
You did kinda give it to me.

194
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:50,957
Okay, just look, man,
can I have my Sam's card...

195
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:54,270
I will shoot your ****ing cat!

196
00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:56,830
I don't really know what that means.
I don't have a cat.

197
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,698
Then whose kitty litter
did I just shit in?

198
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,904
Anyhoo, tell me something...

199
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,742
what situation
isn't improved by pizza?

200
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,440
Do you happen to know
a Meghan Orflosky?

201
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,779
Getting that right?
Orflosky?

202
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,810
Orlovsky? Yeah? Good.

203
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,684
Because she knows you.

204
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,919
Jeremy, I belong
to a group of guys

205
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,550
who take a dime
to beat a fella down.

206
00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:23,623
And little Meghan,
she's not made of money,

207
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,924
but lucky for her...

208
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,960
I got a soft spot.

209
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,462
But I'm a...
A stalker.

210
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,930
Threats hurt, Jer.

211
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,601
Though not nearly as badly
as serrated steel.

212
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,704
So keep away
from Meghan.

213
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,772
Cool?

214
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,939
Yes, sir.

215
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,441
Then we're done.

216
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,543
Wait.
We are?

217
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,812
Yeah. We're totally done.

218
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,447
You should've
seen your face.

219
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,882
I didn't know what to do.
I was so scared.

220
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,160
Soft spot, remember?

221
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,653
You even look in her
general direction again...

222
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,155
and you will learn
in the worst of ways

223
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,490
that I have
some hard spots too.

224
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,794
That came out wrong.

225
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,630
Or did it?

226
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:17,210
Mmm... Meghan?

227
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,215
You've heard the last
of Jeremy. He's sorry.

228
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,651
No friggin' way.

229
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,623
Should've brought
my roller blades.

230
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,580
Show these kids
how it's done.

231
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:35,662
Oh. And that's why we do it.
But mostly the money.

232
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,630
Hey, think you could
**** up my step-dad?

233
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,132
I give a guy
a pavement facial,

234
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,266
it's because he's earned it.

235
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,168
Hey, wait!

236
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,105
You're my hero.

237
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,774
No-no-no-no.
That I ain't!

238
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,878
Nope. Never will be.

239
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,880
Oh. **** you, Wade.

240
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,550
I'm just a bad guy who gets
paid to **** up worse guys.

241
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,754
Welcome to Sister Margaret's.

242
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,723
It's like a job fair
for mercenaries.

243
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,658
Think of us as really
****ed up tooth fairies...

244
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,228
except we knock out the teeth
and take the cash.

245
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:11,297
You'd best hope we never see
your name on a gold card.

246
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,666
Buck! Liefeld...

247
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,934
Hey, Wade!

248
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,169
Wade Wilson,
patron saint of the pitiful.

249
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,380
What can I do for you?

250
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:20,874
Oh, God, me too.

251
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,900
The drink, moose knuckle.
But first...

252
00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,713
Hey, and I ain't taking
any babysitting money, all right?

253
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,281
Make sure
that gets back to Ms...

254
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,582
Orlovsky.

255
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:30,650
Yeah, her.

256
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,850
You sure?
Hmm.

257
00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,654
You know, for a merc,
you're pretty warm-blooded.

258
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,623
I bet you let
the kid off easy, too.

259
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:38,591
Oh, he's not a bad kid, Weas.

260
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,826
Just a little light stalking.

261
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,561
I was way worse than him
when I was his age.

262
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,196
I was traveling
to exotic places...

263
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,965
Baghdad, Mogadishu,
Jacksonville,

264
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,867
meeting new and exciting
people. And then, uh...

265
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,700
Killing them. Yeah,
I've seen your Instagram.

266
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:52,605
So what was Special Forces doing
in Jacksonville, anyway?

267
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,107
That's classified.

268
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,343
They have
a wonderful TGI Fridays.

269
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,845
All right,
Kahlua, Baileys and...

270
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,113
whipped cream.

271
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,117
Why do you
make me make that?

272
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,985
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly...

273
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,587
Take that over
to Buck please,

274
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,356
and tell him it's from Boothe.
Little foreplay.

275
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,825
Remind me what good
will come of this?

276
00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:13,893
I don't take the shits.
I just disturb them.

277
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,195
Boothe!
Oh!

278
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,596
Easy, man.
Hold up! Hold up!

279
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,664
What you want?

280
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,690
- Cheers. To your health.
- **** you.

281
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,238
Come here,
you fat ****!

282
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,940
That's a new stool.

283
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,146
Stay the **** down.

284
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,617
Whoa! Took his *** out!

285
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,285
All right, move.
Move, move, move.

286
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,653
Buck, go rest.

287
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,256
Boothe got hit
then went down.

288
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,662
Yeah, he's still breathing.

289
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:53,833
Nobody wins today.

290
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,635
Nice try, Wade.

291
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,771
You got me.
I picked Boothe in the dead pool.

292
00:18:57,771 --> 00:18:59,139
Who did you pick?

293
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,341
Yeah, Wade,
about that, um...

294
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,876
No.

295
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,811
You did not bet
on me to die.

296
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,783
You bet on me to die. Wow!

297
00:19:09,783 --> 00:19:11,651
Mother****er, you're
the world's worst friend.

298
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,887
Well, joke's on you.
I'm living to 102.

299
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:16,220
And then dying.
Like the city of Detroit.

300
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:19,250
I'm sorry. I just...
I wanted to win money.

301
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,326
I never win anything.

302
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,428
Whatever.

303
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,163
Soldiers of fortune,
drinks on me!

304
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,434
Domestic, nothing imported.

305
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,838
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa...

306
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,408
Baby, are you sure you wanna
shoot your whole wad?

307
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,812
Uh... Tight.

308
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,716
Vanessa.
Wade.

309
00:19:42,716 --> 00:19:44,918
What's a nice place like you
doing in a girl like this?

310
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,420
I'd hit that.

311
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,690
Buck, you best
apologize before...

312
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,930
Yeah, that.

313
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:54,861
Say the magic words,
Fat Gandalf.

314
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,696
I'm sorry.
Breathe through the nose.

315
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,965
I don't have a filter
between my brain and my...

316
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,967
Let go. Okay.
Hey, oh, oh, oh...

317
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,680
Hakuna his tatas.
He's sorry.

318
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:03,403
I'm working on it.

319
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,390
Get out of here.
Go. Go cast a spell.

320
00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:08,441
Hey. Hands off
the merchandise.

321
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,444
Merchandise? Huh...

322
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,470
So you, uh...

323
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:15,415
bump fuzzies for money?

324
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,484
Yep.
Rough childhood?

325
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,752
Rougher than yours.

326
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:20,920
Daddy left before
I was born.

327
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,422
Daddy left before
I was conceived.

328
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,291
Ever had a cigarette
put out on your skin?

329
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,793
Where else do you
put one out?

330
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,610
I was molested.

331
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:29,863
Me too. Uncle.

332
00:20:29,863 --> 00:20:32,332
Uncles. They took turns.

333
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,867
I watched my own
birthday party

334
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,680
through the keyhole
of a locked closet...

335
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:36,469
which also happens to be my...

336
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,339
Your bedroom. Lucky.
I slept in a dishwasher box.

337
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,941
You had a dishwasher.

338
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,430
I didn't even know sleep.

339
00:20:43,430 --> 00:20:44,978
It was pretty much
24/7 ball gags,

340
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,818
Who would do such a thing?

341
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,923
Hopefully you, later tonight?

342
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:04,531
Hey, what can I get for,
uh, $275 and a...

343
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,434
a Yogurtland rewards card?

344
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:10,203
Baby, about 48 minutes of
whatever the **** you want.

345
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,373
And a low-fat dessert.

346
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:24,217
You love skee ball.

347
00:21:24,217 --> 00:21:26,486
Apparently more than
you love ******.

348
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,955
That's a tough call.

349
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,224
I just wanna get to
know the real you, you know.

350
00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:33,226
Not the short-shorted,
two-dimensional

351
00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:35,195
*** object
peddled by Hollywood.

352
00:21:35,195 --> 00:21:36,262
Balls in holes.

353
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,398
Balls in holes.

354
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,330
Prepare to lose tragically.

355
00:21:40,330 --> 00:21:41,167
Bring it, big man.

356
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,235
Okay.

357
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:45,872
Uh-oh.

358
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:47,340
Uh-oh.

359
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,430
The limited edition

360
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:53,313
Voltron: Defender of
the Universe ring, por favor.

361
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:56,883
Okay. Here we go.

362
00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,190
Had my eye on
this sucker for a while.

363
00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:00,954
And I will take
the pencil eraser.

364
00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:02,355
Okay.

365
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:05,258
You are now the protector
of the planet Arus.

366
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:07,260
And you can erase stuff...

367
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:09,290
written in pencil.

368
00:22:09,290 --> 00:22:10,397
M'lady?

369
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,865
Well, I hate to
break it to you...

370
00:22:11,865 --> 00:22:14,134
but your 48 minutes
are up.

371
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:17,370
Hey, how many more minutes
can I get for this?

372
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,472
FYI, five mini lion-bots
come together

373
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,908
to form one super-bot, so...

374
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:25,110
Five mini lion-bots?
Three minutes.

375
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:28,815
Happy Lent.

376
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:32,752
If your left leg
is Thanksgiving...

377
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,554
and your right leg
is Christmas...

378
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:37,424
can I visit you
between the holidays?

379
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:39,325
Oh!

380
00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:41,227
That sweater is terrible.

381
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:43,763
But red looks good on you.

382
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:45,198
Red's your color.

383
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,733
Brings out the bloodshot
in your eyes.

384
00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:48,735
Listen,
I've been thinking...

385
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,570
Really?

386
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,639
...about why we're
so good together.

387
00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,574
Why's that?

388
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:58,578
Well, your crazy matches
my crazy. Big time.

389
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,513
Hmm.

390
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,248
And, uh, we're like
two jigsaw pieces,

391
00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:03,850
you know,
the weird curvy edges...

392
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:06,319
You put them together and you
can see the picture on top.

393
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,254
Right.

394
00:23:08,655 --> 00:23:10,490
Wade...

395
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,926
there's something I've been
meaning to ask you.

396
00:23:12,926 --> 00:23:15,595
But only because you haven't
gotten around to asking me.

397
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:18,798
Will you, uh...

398
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,868
stick it in my...
Marry me?

399
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,872
Uh... Jinx?

400
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,741
Huh.

401
00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:28,908
Where were you
hiding that?

402
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,944
Nowhere.

403
00:23:30,944 --> 00:23:32,746
They say one month's salary.
So, uh...

404
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:33,780
You mean?

405
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:34,848
I do.

406
00:23:34,848 --> 00:23:35,915
That's my line.

407
00:23:39,352 --> 00:23:41,755
I love you, Wade Wilson.

408
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:43,256
You're supposed to...
So that's a...

409
00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:44,691
Yes!
Whoo!

410
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,559
Yes!

411
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:51,431
Perfect.

412
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:56,836
Let's see.
All right, wee break.

413
00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:58,104
Shake it, yeah.

414
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:05,879
Here's the thing.

415
00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:07,847
Life is an endless series
of train-wrecks...

416
00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:12,252
with only brief,
commercial-like breaks of happiness.

417
00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:15,550
This had been the ultimate
commercial break.

418
00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:18,892
Which meant
it was time to return

419
00:24:18,892 --> 00:24:20,794
to our regularly
scheduled program.

420
00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:22,529
What the...

421
00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:23,863
Oh, my God. Wade?

422
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:31,871
You're clowning.

423
00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,473
You're not clowning?

424
00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:35,909
I sense clowns.

425
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:38,378
People react to news of
late-stage cancer differently.

426
00:24:38,378 --> 00:24:41,281
There are certainly options
we can look into.

427
00:24:41,281 --> 00:24:43,149
New drugs are being
developed every day.

428
00:24:47,554 --> 00:24:49,222
So what do we do?

429
00:24:49,222 --> 00:24:52,826
Surely there is
something we can do.

430
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:55,362
My uncle Ivan was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer...

431
00:24:55,362 --> 00:24:57,964
and there were all these new
experimental drugs from Germany.

432
00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:00,467
Vanessa's already
working on Plan A, B,

433
00:25:00,467 --> 00:25:02,469
all the way through Z.

434
00:25:02,469 --> 00:25:06,840
Me? I'm memorizing
the details of her face.

435
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,209
Like it's the first time
I'm seeing it.

436
00:25:09,209 --> 00:25:10,343
Or the last.

437
00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:12,120
Mr. Wilson...

438
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,847
Mr. Wilson?

439
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:17,117
Take your time
to process this.

440
00:25:17,117 --> 00:25:19,119
It's important not to
do anything rash.

441
00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:33,266
Now, if I were
a 200-pound sack

442
00:25:33,266 --> 00:25:35,935
of ***holes named Francis,
where would I hide?

443
00:25:39,606 --> 00:25:40,874
Oh.

444
00:26:01,294 --> 00:26:03,229
A hush falls
over the crowd

445
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,532
as rookie sensation
Wade W. Wilson...

446
00:26:05,532 --> 00:26:09,169
out of Regina, Saskatchewan,
lines up the shot.

447
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:12,572
His form looks good.

448
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:14,574
Oh!

449
00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:19,112
And that's why Regina
rhymes with fun.

450
00:26:19,112 --> 00:26:21,414
Ladies and gentlemen,
what you're witnessing...

451
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,883
is sweet ****-kicking revenge.

452
00:26:24,651 --> 00:26:26,553
Oh! Giving him the business.

453
00:26:26,553 --> 00:26:28,888
Incoming!

454
00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:32,559
This is taking unsportsmanlike
conduct to a whole new level!

455
00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:39,999
Looking good, Francis.
Well rested.

456
00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:42,168
Like you've been pitching,
not catching.

457
00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:44,204
Ringing any bells? No?

458
00:26:49,142 --> 00:26:50,377
How about now?

459
00:26:54,314 --> 00:26:56,516
Wade ****ing Wilson.

460
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,187
Well,
hello, gorgeous.

461
00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:03,356
Yeah, like I got bit
by a radioactive Shar-Pei.

462
00:27:03,356 --> 00:27:06,559
Yeah. And whose fault
is that, huh, Francis?

463
00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:08,595
Yeah, time to undo what
you did to this butterface.

464
00:27:08,595 --> 00:27:10,430
Please,
you should thank me.

465
00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:12,650
Apparently,
I made you immortal.

466
00:27:12,650 --> 00:27:13,600
I'm actually
quite jealous.

467
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,102
Yeah, but this ain't
a life worth living, is it?

468
00:27:18,710 --> 00:27:19,706
Now, I'm about
to do to you

469
00:27:19,706 --> 00:27:22,242
what Limp Bizkit did to
music in the late 90s.

470
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:25,378
Dad?

471
00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,484
I think we can all agree
that shit just went sideways

472
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:33,420
in the most colossal way.

473
00:27:34,387 --> 00:27:36,956
Well, maybe not the most.

474
00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:40,660
Uh... This is
my most prized possession.

475
00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:42,328
Wham?

476
00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:44,597
No, no, no. Wham!

477
00:27:44,597 --> 00:27:48,201
Make It Big is the album that George
and Andy earned the exclamation point.

478
00:27:49,202 --> 00:27:50,737
So, am I supposed
to just smile

479
00:27:50,737 --> 00:27:52,205
and wave you out the door?

480
00:27:52,205 --> 00:27:53,606
Think of it like
spring cleaning.

481
00:27:53,606 --> 00:27:55,141
Only if spring
was death.

482
00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:57,510
God, if I had a nickel
for every time

483
00:27:57,510 --> 00:28:00,113
I spanked it to
Bernadette Peters.

484
00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:02,349
Sounds like you do.

485
00:28:02,349 --> 00:28:04,284
Bernadette is not
going anywhere,

486
00:28:04,284 --> 00:28:06,286
because you're not
going anywhere.

487
00:28:06,286 --> 00:28:07,587
Drink.

488
00:28:07,587 --> 00:28:08,988
You're right.
Cancer is only in my liver,

489
00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:10,290
lungs, prostate, and brain.

490
00:28:10,290 --> 00:28:11,524
All things I can
live without.

491
00:28:12,625 --> 00:28:13,727
Ha.

492
00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:15,762
You belong here
at home.

493
00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,397
Surrounded by
your Voltron

494
00:28:17,397 --> 00:28:19,532
and your Bernadette,
and your me.

495
00:28:20,734 --> 00:28:24,371
Listen, we both know
that cancer is a shit-show.

496
00:28:26,390 --> 00:28:28,174
Like, a Yakov-Smirnoff-
opening-for-the

497
00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:31,440
Spin-Doctors-at-the-
Iowa-State-Fair shit-show.

498
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:37,584
And under no circumstances
will I take you to that show.

499
00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,587
I want you to remember me.

500
00:28:42,122 --> 00:28:44,240
Not the ghost
of Christmas me.

501
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,259
Well, I wanna remember us.

502
00:28:46,259 --> 00:28:48,695
I swear to God, I will
find you in the next life...

503
00:28:48,695 --> 00:28:51,131
and I'm gonna boom-box
Careless Whisper outside your window.

504
00:28:51,131 --> 00:28:52,532
Wham!

505
00:28:55,802 --> 00:28:59,720
No one is boom-boxing shit.
Okay?

506
00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,760
We can fight this.

507
00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:09,149
Besides, I just
realized something.

508
00:29:09,149 --> 00:29:11,484
You win.
Your life is officially

509
00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:14,287
way more ****ed up
than mine.

510
00:29:18,558 --> 00:29:19,626
I love you.

511
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:29,269
Wade.

512
00:29:31,338 --> 00:29:32,906
Weas.

513
00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:37,344
Though courtesy calls
for the latter first.

514
00:29:37,344 --> 00:29:39,112
How about three shots
of Patron?

515
00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:42,949
Or how about Triticum aestivum,
wheatgrass.

516
00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:44,284
Excellent for
the immune system.

517
00:29:44,284 --> 00:29:46,386
Jesus Christ.
You sound like Vanessa.

518
00:29:46,386 --> 00:29:48,755
Here, check it out.

519
00:29:48,755 --> 00:29:51,157
She's sending away for all these
colorful clinic brochures.

520
00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:53,360
I'm sure they're
all FDA approved.

521
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,363
Chechnya. Isn't that where
you go to get cancer?

522
00:29:56,363 --> 00:29:59,499
You got China
and Central Mexico.

523
00:29:59,499 --> 00:30:01,968
You know how they
say "cancer" in Spanish?

524
00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:03,503
No.

525
00:30:03,503 --> 00:30:05,238
El Cancer.
Oh.

526
00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:07,507
I could have
guessed that.

527
00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:09,750
Look how happy
you look here.

528
00:30:09,750 --> 00:30:10,643
Mind if I keep this?
Put it up,

529
00:30:10,643 --> 00:30:13,546
so I can remember
when you looked alive.

530
00:30:13,546 --> 00:30:15,548
At least now I'm gonna
win the dead pool.

531
00:30:15,548 --> 00:30:18,351
Now that you're gonna die
tragically of cancer.

532
00:30:18,351 --> 00:30:20,253
I got it, Weas. Thanks.

533
00:30:20,253 --> 00:30:22,655
Oh.

534
00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:25,358
And, uh, that guy over there
came in looking for you.

535
00:30:25,358 --> 00:30:28,294
Real Grim Reaper type.

536
00:30:28,294 --> 00:30:30,330
I don't know.
Might further the plot.

537
00:30:34,334 --> 00:30:35,435
Boothe.

538
00:30:35,435 --> 00:30:36,603
Wade.

539
00:30:41,908 --> 00:30:43,343
Mr. Wilson.

540
00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:44,544
How can I help you?

541
00:30:44,544 --> 00:30:47,313
Besides luring children
into a panel van.

542
00:30:47,313 --> 00:30:51,840
I understand you've recently
been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

543
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:52,252
Stalker alert.

544
00:30:52,252 --> 00:30:55,155
It's my job.
Recruitment.

545
00:30:55,155 --> 00:30:58,591
I'm sorry you've had
such a tough go.

546
00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:01,610
But you're a fighter.
Special Forces.

547
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:03,963
41 confirmed kills.

548
00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:05,331
One every seven weeks.

549
00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:08,368
Same rate most folks
get a haircut. Hmm...

550
00:31:08,368 --> 00:31:09,636
It's to wash
the taste out.

551
00:31:09,636 --> 00:31:13,206
It's tough to forget
being so impressive.

552
00:31:13,206 --> 00:31:15,241
And now you
spend your days

553
00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:17,243
sticking up for
the little people...

554
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,245
People change.
What do you want?

555
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:22,382
I represent an organization
that may be able to help.

556
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:28,488
What if I told you
we can cure your cancer?

557
00:31:28,488 --> 00:31:32,659
And what's more, give you abilities
most men only dream of?

558
00:31:36,329 --> 00:31:38,231
I'd say that you sound
like an infomercial,

559
00:31:40,533 --> 00:31:43,603
The world needs
extraordinary soldiers.

560
00:31:43,603 --> 00:31:45,739
We won't just
make you better.

561
00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:48,808
We will make you
better than better.

562
00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:51,411
A superhero.

563
00:31:51,411 --> 00:31:54,147
Look, Agent Smith,

564
00:31:54,147 --> 00:31:56,783
I tried the hero business
and it left a mark.

565
00:31:56,783 --> 00:31:59,552
But if I ever hit "**** it,"
I'll look you up.

566
00:32:00,530 --> 00:32:01,821
Oh, um...

567
00:32:01,821 --> 00:32:03,523
Shit. We're within
500 yards of a school,

568
00:32:03,523 --> 00:32:04,758
so you may wanna...

569
00:32:09,696 --> 00:32:10,964
His drink's on him.

570
00:32:16,636 --> 00:32:18,471
What did he say?

571
00:32:40,927 --> 00:32:42,662
Hey, what's going on?

572
00:32:42,662 --> 00:32:45,650
Hey. Sorry.

573
00:32:46,566 --> 00:32:49,469
I had a Liam Neeson
nightmare.

574
00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:50,937
I dreamt I kidnapped
his daughter

575
00:32:50,937 --> 00:32:52,672
and he just
wasn't having it.

576
00:33:00,213 --> 00:33:05,552
Hey, uh, they've made
three of those movies.

577
00:33:05,552 --> 00:33:08,755
At some point you have
to wonder if he's just a bad parent.

578
00:33:08,755 --> 00:33:09,823
Hmm.

579
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:27,700
The worst part about cancer
isn't what it does to you...

580
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:30,143
but what it does to
the people you love.

581
00:33:30,143 --> 00:33:32,846
Who knew if this guy
could save my life...

582
00:33:32,846 --> 00:33:35,982
but I knew there was only one
way that I could save hers.

583
00:33:39,719 --> 00:33:41,988
Isn't that what
superheroes do?

584
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,538
Okay. Let's pro-con
this superhero thing.

585
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:00,206
Ow.

586
00:34:00,206 --> 00:34:03,176
Pro: They pull down
a gaggle of ***.

587
00:34:03,176 --> 00:34:04,744
Local dry cleaning discounts.

588
00:34:04,744 --> 00:34:06,613
Lucrative film deals,
both origin stories

589
00:34:06,613 --> 00:34:08,782
and larger ensemble
team movies.

590
00:34:08,782 --> 00:34:11,885
Con: They're all lame-***
teacher's pets.

591
00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:13,753
You know,
I can hear you.

592
00:34:13,753 --> 00:34:16,723
I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to them.

593
00:34:16,723 --> 00:34:19,250
Stay right here.

594
00:34:19,250 --> 00:34:21,294
You've been
warned before, Deadpool.

595
00:34:21,294 --> 00:34:25,310
This is a shameful and
reckless use of your powers.

596
00:34:25,310 --> 00:34:27,167
You will both
be coming with us.

597
00:34:27,167 --> 00:34:29,102
Look, Colossus,
I don't have time for

598
00:34:29,102 --> 00:34:31,204
the goody two-shoes
bullshit right now!

599
00:34:31,204 --> 00:34:33,139
And you are?

600
00:34:34,774 --> 00:34:36,676
Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

601
00:34:36,676 --> 00:34:40,800
Negasonic Teenage...
What the shit?

602
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,981
That's the coolest name ever!

603
00:34:43,316 --> 00:34:46,520
So, what, you're like,
uh, his sidekick?

604
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,687
No. Trainee.

605
00:34:47,687 --> 00:34:49,890
Let me guess.

606
00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:51,725
X-Men left you behind
on what? Shit detail?

607
00:34:51,725 --> 00:34:53,460
What does that make you?

608
00:34:53,460 --> 00:34:55,228
Pretending you're not here,
Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

609
00:34:55,228 --> 00:34:56,696
Can we trade names?

610
00:34:56,696 --> 00:34:58,198
Can we go?

611
00:34:58,198 --> 00:35:00,734
Look!
I'm a teenage girl.

612
00:35:00,734 --> 00:35:02,936
I'd rather be
anywhere than here.

613
00:35:02,936 --> 00:35:05,138
I'm all about
long sullen silences...

614
00:35:05,138 --> 00:35:09,750
followed by mean comments,
followed by more silences.

615
00:35:09,750 --> 00:35:12,312
So what's it gonna be, huh?
Long sullen silence...

616
00:35:12,312 --> 00:35:15,150
or mean comment? Go on.

617
00:35:16,216 --> 00:35:17,584
You got me in a box here.

618
00:35:17,584 --> 00:35:18,685
Aha!

619
00:35:18,685 --> 00:35:20,687
We can't allow this,
Deadpool.

620
00:35:20,687 --> 00:35:22,880
Please, come quietly.

621
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,357
You big chrome
****-gobbler!

622
00:35:24,357 --> 00:35:25,792
That's not nice.

623
00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:27,260
You're really gonna
**** this up for me?

624
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:31,831
Trust me, that wheezing bag
of ****-tips has it coming.

625
00:35:31,831 --> 00:35:34,768
He's pure evil.

626
00:35:34,768 --> 00:35:38,710
Besides...
Nobody's getting hurt.

627
00:35:43,243 --> 00:35:45,645
That guy was already up there
when I got here.

628
00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:48,882
Wade, you are
better than this.

629
00:35:48,882 --> 00:35:51,251
Join us.
Use your powers for good.

630
00:35:51,251 --> 00:35:52,318
Heads up.

631
00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:53,787
Be a superhero.

632
00:35:53,787 --> 00:35:55,555
Listen!

633
00:35:55,555 --> 00:35:57,323
The day I decide to become a
crime-fighting shit-swizzler...

634
00:35:57,323 --> 00:36:00,727
who rooms with a bunch of other little
whiners at the Neverland mansion...

635
00:36:00,727 --> 00:36:05,665
of some creepy, old, bald,
Heaven's Gate-looking mother****er...

636
00:36:05,665 --> 00:36:07,333
on that day...

637
00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:09,736
I'll send your shiny,
happy *** a friend request.

638
00:36:09,736 --> 00:36:12,205
But until then, I'mma do
what I came here to do.

639
00:36:12,205 --> 00:36:15,800
Either that or slap
the ***** outta you!

640
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:16,276
Wade...
Hey.

641
00:36:16,276 --> 00:36:17,644
Zip it, Sinead!

642
00:36:17,644 --> 00:36:18,712
Hey, douche-pool!

643
00:36:18,712 --> 00:36:20,130
And I hope
you're watching...

644
00:36:24,751 --> 00:36:26,419
Quite unfortunate.

645
00:36:29,889 --> 00:36:32,225
That does it!

646
00:36:33,426 --> 00:36:34,894
Oh!

647
00:36:34,894 --> 00:36:37,964
Canada!

648
00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:40,166
That's not good.

649
00:36:40,166 --> 00:36:41,334
Wade, please.

650
00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:46,720
Oh, your poor wife.

651
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,308
You really should stop.

652
00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:53,980
All the dinosaurs
feared the T. rex.

653
00:36:58,885 --> 00:37:00,820
I promise this gets
worse for you, big boy!

654
00:37:00,820 --> 00:37:02,789
This is embarrassing.

655
00:37:02,789 --> 00:37:05,458
Please, stay down.

656
00:37:05,458 --> 00:37:08,610
You ever hear of the one-legged
man in the ***-kicking contest?

657
00:37:08,610 --> 00:37:09,462
Do you have
off switch?

658
00:37:09,462 --> 00:37:11,231
Yeah, it's right next
to the prostate.

659
00:37:11,231 --> 00:37:12,365
Or is that the on switch?

660
00:37:12,365 --> 00:37:14,467
Enough!

661
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,345
Let us go talk
to the Professor.

662
00:37:25,345 --> 00:37:27,213
McAvoy or Stewart?

663
00:37:27,213 --> 00:37:29,449
These timelines
are so confusing.

664
00:37:30,850 --> 00:37:33,420
"Dead or alive,
you're coming with me!"

665
00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:35,288
You will
recover, Wade.

666
00:37:35,288 --> 00:37:36,990
You always do.

667
00:37:41,394 --> 00:37:45,310
You ever see 127 Hours?
Spoiler alert.

668
00:37:48,735 --> 00:37:49,903
Oh, my God.

669
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:54,708
Nasty.

670
00:37:54,708 --> 00:37:55,975
Oh, there's
the money shot, baby.

671
00:37:56,776 --> 00:37:58,511
Are You There God?
It's Me, Margaret.

672
00:38:09,489 --> 00:38:12,392
Rock, meet bottom.

673
00:38:12,392 --> 00:38:15,829
And when life ends up
breathtakingly ****ed...

674
00:38:15,829 --> 00:38:20,330
you can generally trace it
back to one big, bad decision.

675
00:38:20,330 --> 00:38:23,236
The one that sent you
down the road to Shitsburgh.

676
00:38:23,236 --> 00:38:26,940
This? Well, this was mine.

677
00:38:26,940 --> 00:38:29,809
Mr. Wilson.

678
00:38:29,809 --> 00:38:34,247
Nothing warms my heart more than
a change of someone else's.

679
00:38:34,247 --> 00:38:36,820
You finally hit "**** it."

680
00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:39,886
Just promise
you'll do right by me.

681
00:38:39,886 --> 00:38:41,955
So I can do right
by someone else.

682
00:38:41,955 --> 00:38:43,857
Of course.

683
00:38:43,857 --> 00:38:45,558
And please don't make
the super-suit green.

684
00:38:46,893 --> 00:38:48,361
Or animated.

685
00:38:54,901 --> 00:38:56,436
Move it! Keep moving.

686
00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:11,384
This place seems sanitary.

687
00:39:11,384 --> 00:39:13,586
My first request
is warmer hands.

688
00:39:13,586 --> 00:39:17,490
Oh! And, Jesus,
a warmer table.

689
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:21,261
We should really come up
with a safe word, fellas.

690
00:39:21,261 --> 00:39:23,196
I'm thinking
"pork and beans."

691
00:39:26,466 --> 00:39:28,601
Easy.

692
00:39:30,537 --> 00:39:33,600
Aren't you a little
strong for a lady?

693
00:39:33,573 --> 00:39:35,308
I'm calling wang.

694
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,413
What's up with the matches?

695
00:39:40,413 --> 00:39:43,350
Oral fixation
or just a big Stallone fan?

696
00:39:44,617 --> 00:39:46,119
Patience, Angel.

697
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,621
All in good time.

698
00:39:48,621 --> 00:39:50,623
Are you here for
the turndown service, or what?

699
00:39:52,225 --> 00:39:53,793
We have another talker.

700
00:39:53,793 --> 00:39:55,362
I'm just excited about my
first day at superhero camp.

701
00:39:55,362 --> 00:39:57,564
Shut the **** up.

702
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,936
Mr. Wilson, my name's Ajax.

703
00:40:03,903 --> 00:40:07,400
I manage this workshop.

704
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,310
Ah, my welcome speech used to
be full of euphemisms like...

705
00:40:10,310 --> 00:40:11,945
"This may hurt a little."

706
00:40:11,945 --> 00:40:14,140
"This may cause you
some discomfort."

707
00:40:14,140 --> 00:40:16,316
But I've grown blunt.

708
00:40:16,316 --> 00:40:19,520
This workshop is not
a government-led program.

709
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,589
It's a private institution that turns
reclamation projects like yourself...

710
00:40:22,589 --> 00:40:26,126
into men of
extraordinary abilities.

711
00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:31,640
But if you think super-human
powers are acquired painlessly...

712
00:40:31,931 --> 00:40:33,333
Wrong.

713
00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:35,100
I'm injecting you
with a serum...

714
00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:37,604
that activates any mutant
genes lurking in your DNA.

715
00:40:37,604 --> 00:40:41,608
For it to work we need to
subject you to extreme stress.

716
00:40:47,113 --> 00:40:51,151
You've heard that whole "make an omelet,
break some eggs" bit, right?

717
00:40:51,151 --> 00:40:53,620
I'm about to hurt you, Wade.

718
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:56,690
I was a patient here once
myself, you know.

719
00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:59,559
The treatment affects
everyone differently.

720
00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:02,696
It made Angel
inhumanly strong.

721
00:41:02,696 --> 00:41:07,300
In my case,
it enhanced my reflexes.

722
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,337
Also scorched my nerve endings,
so I no longer feel pain.

723
00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:15,975
And, in fact,
I no longer feel anything.

724
00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:27,387
Thanks! Thank you. Thank you.

725
00:41:27,387 --> 00:41:30,123
You have something
in your teeth.

726
00:41:30,123 --> 00:41:32,325
Right in the middle there.
Just, I don't...

727
00:41:32,325 --> 00:41:35,428
A little nugget of romaine
lettuce or something.

728
00:41:37,263 --> 00:41:39,733
It's been bothering me
for a long time.

729
00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:42,435
Ah, made you look.

730
00:41:42,435 --> 00:41:44,204
Hey, is Ajax
your actual name?

731
00:41:44,204 --> 00:41:46,390
Because it sounds
suspiciously made up.

732
00:41:46,390 --> 00:41:47,173
What is it, really?

733
00:41:47,173 --> 00:41:49,442
Kevin? Bruce? Scott?

734
00:41:49,442 --> 00:41:51,745
Mitch? The Rickster?

735
00:41:51,745 --> 00:41:53,613
Is it Basil Fawlty?

736
00:41:53,613 --> 00:41:55,582
Oh, joke away.

737
00:41:55,582 --> 00:41:57,830
One thing that never
survives this place

738
00:41:57,830 --> 00:41:59,850
is a sense of humor.

739
00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:00,253
We'll see about that.

740
00:42:00,253 --> 00:42:01,621
I suppose we will.

741
00:42:03,890 --> 00:42:04,591
He's all yours.

742
00:42:04,591 --> 00:42:06,359
Oh, come on.

743
00:42:06,359 --> 00:42:07,761
You're gonna leave me
all alone here.

744
00:42:07,761 --> 00:42:09,529
With less-angry
Rosie O'Donnell?

745
00:42:13,767 --> 00:42:16,690
This is how
it's going to work.

746
00:42:16,690 --> 00:42:19,572
Adrenaline acts as a catalyst
for the serum...

747
00:42:19,572 --> 00:42:22,242
so we're going
to have to make you suffer.

748
00:42:23,777 --> 00:42:25,779
If you're lucky,
the mutant genes will activate

749
00:42:25,779 --> 00:42:28,715
and manifest in
a spectacular fashion.

750
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,789
If not, well, we'll
have to keep on hurting you...

751
00:42:37,624 --> 00:42:39,590
in new and different ways,

752
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,460
each more painful
than the last...

753
00:42:43,129 --> 00:42:45,465
until you finally mutate.

754
00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:48,334
Or die.

755
00:42:55,141 --> 00:42:56,676
You mean a bucket list?

756
00:42:56,676 --> 00:42:59,145
Like a ****-it list.

757
00:42:59,145 --> 00:43:00,413
I'd really like
to light a spliff

758
00:43:00,413 --> 00:43:02,349
off the Olympic torch.

759
00:43:02,349 --> 00:43:04,284
Pass it
to me right after.

760
00:43:04,284 --> 00:43:07,687
Let's not forget naked
tandem base-jumping

761
00:43:07,687 --> 00:43:11,291
with the WNBA's
Sacramento Monarchs.

762
00:43:11,291 --> 00:43:14,794
Anything on my bucket list
would involve public nudity.

763
00:43:14,794 --> 00:43:18,131
Finally, giving Meredith
Baxter-Birney a Dutch oven.

764
00:43:18,131 --> 00:43:21,301
No. Receiving a Dutch oven
from Meredith Baxter-Birney.

765
00:43:25,772 --> 00:43:29,376
Making banana pancakes
for my kids.

766
00:43:32,679 --> 00:43:34,781
Vanessa.

767
00:43:38,318 --> 00:43:40,653
I wanna see Vanessa.

768
00:43:40,653 --> 00:43:42,188
You're lovely.

769
00:43:42,188 --> 00:43:45,558
I don't know about
anyone else, but I'm touched.

770
00:43:45,558 --> 00:43:46,593
We were just joking.

771
00:43:46,593 --> 00:43:49,129
No, no. It's okay.

772
00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:52,565
I encourage distractions.

773
00:43:52,565 --> 00:43:54,868
Wouldn't want you giving up
on us, now would we?

774
00:43:54,868 --> 00:43:56,803
Hey, don't take any shit
from him, Cunningham.

775
00:43:57,737 --> 00:44:00,273
How tough can he be...

776
00:44:00,273 --> 00:44:03,276
with a name like Francis?

777
00:44:03,677 --> 00:44:05,211
Francis?

778
00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:07,213
That's his legal name.

779
00:44:07,213 --> 00:44:10,684
He got "Ajax"
from the dish soap.

780
00:44:12,619 --> 00:44:16,389
F, R, A, N, C, I...

781
00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:18,258
Oops!

782
00:44:19,826 --> 00:44:22,796
Snagged the dry cleaning tag
off your lab coat.

783
00:44:24,631 --> 00:44:27,233
FYI, I could probably get you
the superhero discount.

784
00:44:27,233 --> 00:44:28,601
You are so
relentlessly annoying.

785
00:44:28,601 --> 00:44:29,636
Thanks.

786
00:44:29,636 --> 00:44:31,271
Never heard that before.

787
00:44:31,271 --> 00:44:34,341
Why don't you do us all
a favor and shut the **** up?

788
00:44:34,341 --> 00:44:36,409
Or I'll sew
your pretty mouth shut.

789
00:44:36,710 --> 00:44:38,178
Oh...

790
00:44:38,178 --> 00:44:39,779
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

791
00:44:39,779 --> 00:44:41,414
See, here's the problem with

792
00:44:41,414 --> 00:44:43,249
round-the-clock torture...

793
00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:46,286
is that you can't really
step it up from there.

794
00:44:48,722 --> 00:44:51,257
Is that what you think?

795
00:44:56,396 --> 00:44:58,865
If this doesn't unlock
your mutation, then, well...

796
00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:01,468
nothing will.

797
00:45:01,468 --> 00:45:02,969
Now, what we're going to do is

798
00:45:02,969 --> 00:45:04,504
lower the oxygen
concentration in the air...

799
00:45:04,504 --> 00:45:07,407
to the exact point you feel
like you're suffocating.

800
00:45:07,407 --> 00:45:08,675
If your brainwaves slow,

801
00:45:08,675 --> 00:45:11,277
meaning you're
about to pass out...

802
00:45:11,277 --> 00:45:12,479
then we'll turn up the O2.

803
00:45:13,413 --> 00:45:14,814
If your heart rate slows...

804
00:45:14,814 --> 00:45:17,617
meaning you're able
to catch your breath...

805
00:45:17,617 --> 00:45:19,619
we'll turn it back down.

806
00:45:19,619 --> 00:45:21,287
And that's where
we'll leave you.

807
00:45:21,287 --> 00:45:23,656
Right there.

808
00:45:23,656 --> 00:45:25,925
Oh, and I thought
you guys were ****s before.

809
00:45:25,925 --> 00:45:29,262
You know
the funniest part of this?

810
00:45:29,262 --> 00:45:32,432
You still think we're making
you a superhero.

811
00:45:32,432 --> 00:45:35,869
You. A dishonorable discharge.

812
00:45:36,569 --> 00:45:38,705
Hip-deep in hookers.

813
00:45:39,406 --> 00:45:40,974
You're nothing.

814
00:45:41,841 --> 00:45:44,310
Little secret, Wade.

815
00:45:44,310 --> 00:45:46,246
This workshop
doesn't make superheroes,

816
00:45:46,246 --> 00:45:49,449
we make super-slaves.

817
00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:51,284
We're gonna fit you
with a control collar

818
00:45:51,284 --> 00:45:53,853
and auction you off
to the highest bidder.

819
00:45:53,853 --> 00:45:56,256
Who knows what
they'll have you doing?

820
00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:59,659
Terrorizing citizens,
putting down freedom fighters.

821
00:46:01,728 --> 00:46:04,998
Maybe just mow
the occasional lawn.

822
00:46:04,998 --> 00:46:07,667
What the ****
is wrong with you?

823
00:46:12,806 --> 00:46:15,709
You're never going home
after this.

824
00:46:15,709 --> 00:46:17,944
Now there's a brave face.

825
00:46:18,878 --> 00:46:20,613
Wait, wait! Wait. Wait.

826
00:46:22,816 --> 00:46:26,820
Seriously, you actually have
something in your teeth now.

827
00:46:28,688 --> 00:46:30,490
Enjoy your weekend.

828
00:46:30,490 --> 00:46:32,292
"Weekend"? Back up.

829
00:46:32,292 --> 00:46:33,526
Weekend?

830
00:47:15,350 --> 00:47:17,337
Did I say
this was a love story?

831
00:47:17,337 --> 00:47:19,739
No, it's a horror movie.

832
00:47:36,890 --> 00:47:38,425
****ing hell.

833
00:47:38,425 --> 00:47:41,695
Looks like someone lost his
shot at Homecoming King.

834
00:47:41,695 --> 00:47:43,830
What have you done to me?

835
00:47:43,830 --> 00:47:45,365
I've merely raised
your stress levels

836
00:47:45,365 --> 00:47:47,100
high enough
to trigger a mutation.

837
00:47:47,100 --> 00:47:49,969
You sadistic ****!

838
00:47:49,969 --> 00:47:52,439
I've cured you, Wade.

839
00:47:52,439 --> 00:47:55,750
Now your mutated cells
can heal anything.

840
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,911
It's attacking your cancer
as fast as it can form.

841
00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:01,781
Yeah, I've seen similar
side-effects before.

842
00:48:02,982 --> 00:48:04,500
I could cure them...

843
00:48:07,687 --> 00:48:09,489
but where's the fun in that?

844
00:48:11,691 --> 00:48:14,394
Now, I'm gonna
shut you in again, Wade.

845
00:48:15,962 --> 00:48:17,997
Not because I need to.

846
00:48:21,868 --> 00:48:23,737
Because I want to.

847
00:48:38,180 --> 00:48:39,619
Oh, well.

848
00:48:39,619 --> 00:48:40,854
Go ahead.

849
00:48:43,823 --> 00:48:45,692
Oh, you smell like shit.

850
00:48:46,860 --> 00:48:48,895
Whoa!

851
00:48:48,895 --> 00:48:50,864
Mother****er.

852
00:48:50,864 --> 00:48:52,832
Hey, hey, hey.
It's all right, it's all right.

853
00:48:53,867 --> 00:48:55,869
I think we owe him
that one, yeah?

854
00:48:55,869 --> 00:48:58,438
You take off. Go on.

855
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:00,540
Off you go.

856
00:49:11,484 --> 00:49:13,530
Quick question.

857
00:49:15,188 --> 00:49:17,457
What's my name?

858
00:49:23,290 --> 00:49:24,564
Didn't think so.

859
00:49:26,199 --> 00:49:29,690
Sorry, Francis.
My lips are sealed.

860
00:51:25,585 --> 00:51:26,920
You don't want to kill me.

861
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,255
I'm the only one
who can fix your ugly mug.

862
00:52:14,567 --> 00:52:16,236
What's my name?

863
00:52:22,308 --> 00:52:23,510
Wade.

864
00:53:30,744 --> 00:53:33,847
I didn't just get
the cure to el cancer...

865
00:53:35,382 --> 00:53:37,984
I got the cure
to el everything.

866
00:53:41,654 --> 00:53:43,890
But there was
only one thing...

867
00:53:43,890 --> 00:53:45,658
that really mattered.

868
00:54:14,954 --> 00:54:16,220
Come on, let's go.

869
00:54:21,494 --> 00:54:24,330
Oh, that must hurt.

870
00:54:25,650 --> 00:54:27,567
Thank you so much.

871
00:54:38,578 --> 00:54:40,814
God, he's so ****ing gnarly.

872
00:54:40,814 --> 00:54:42,382
Look at his face.

873
00:54:42,382 --> 00:54:44,718
Oh, my God. Poor guy.

874
00:54:44,718 --> 00:54:45,852
Honey, don't stare.

875
00:54:45,852 --> 00:54:47,120
Freak.

876
00:55:07,474 --> 00:55:10,977
No way. I'm not making
her life as ugly as mine.

877
00:55:10,977 --> 00:55:13,646
Come on, Wade,
it can't be that bad.

878
00:55:13,646 --> 00:55:16,160
Ah, bullshit!

879
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,385
I'm a monster inside and out.
I belong in a ****ing circus.

880
00:55:18,385 --> 00:55:20,920
Wade, Vanessa loves you.
She doesn't care what you...

881
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:22,655
Oh! Oh.

882
00:55:22,655 --> 00:55:23,823
Do you like what you see?

883
00:55:23,823 --> 00:55:25,558
No.

884
00:55:25,558 --> 00:55:27,270
You look like an avocado

885
00:55:27,270 --> 00:55:29,596
had *** with an older,
more disgusting avocado.

886
00:55:29,596 --> 00:55:30,764
Yeah.

887
00:55:30,764 --> 00:55:32,832
Not gently.
Like it was hate-****ing.

888
00:55:32,832 --> 00:55:34,768
There was something wrong
with the relationship...

889
00:55:34,768 --> 00:55:36,703
and that was
the only catharsis

890
00:55:36,703 --> 00:55:38,605
that they could find
without violence.

891
00:55:38,605 --> 00:55:41,700
And the only guy
who can fix this fugly mug...

892
00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:43,843
is the British shitstick
who ran the mutant factory.

893
00:55:43,843 --> 00:55:45,779
And he's gone. Poof!

894
00:55:45,779 --> 00:55:47,614
Yeah, well you gotta do
something to remedy this...

895
00:55:47,614 --> 00:55:48,748
because as of now,

896
00:55:48,748 --> 00:55:50,650
you only have
one course of action.

897
00:55:50,650 --> 00:55:51,885
Damn straight.

898
00:55:51,885 --> 00:55:53,753
Find Francis.
Star in horror films.

899
00:55:53,753 --> 00:55:54,854
What?

900
00:55:54,854 --> 00:55:56,923
Star in your own horror films.

901
00:55:56,923 --> 00:55:58,525
Because you look
like Freddy Krueger

902
00:55:58,525 --> 00:56:01,761
face-****ed
a topographical map of Utah.

903
00:56:01,761 --> 00:56:03,630
Here's what
I'm actually gonna do.

904
00:56:03,630 --> 00:56:04,764
I'm gonna work
through his crew

905
00:56:04,764 --> 00:56:06,733
until somebody
gives up Francis...

906
00:56:06,733 --> 00:56:08,735
force him to fix this, then
put a bullet in his skull...

907
00:56:08,735 --> 00:56:10,503
and **** the brain hole.

908
00:56:10,503 --> 00:56:13,640
I don't wanna see that
or think of it again.

909
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,742
But the douchebag does
thinks you're dead, right?

910
00:56:15,742 --> 00:56:17,100
Yeah.

911
00:56:17,100 --> 00:56:18,545
That's good.
You should keep it that way.

912
00:56:18,545 --> 00:56:20,146
What, like, wear a mask?

913
00:56:20,146 --> 00:56:23,149
Yes. A very thick mask.
All the time.

914
00:56:23,783 --> 00:56:24,918
I am sorry...

915
00:56:24,918 --> 00:56:27,654
you are haunting.

916
00:56:27,654 --> 00:56:29,656
Your face is
the stuff of nightmares.

917
00:56:29,656 --> 00:56:30,957
Like a testicle with teeth.

918
00:56:30,957 --> 00:56:32,792
You will die alone.

919
00:56:32,792 --> 00:56:34,961
I mean, if you could die.

920
00:56:34,961 --> 00:56:37,300
Ideally, for others' sake.

921
00:56:37,300 --> 00:56:38,665
That'll do.

922
00:56:38,665 --> 00:56:40,533
All you need now is a suit
and a nickname...

923
00:56:40,533 --> 00:56:42,769
like Wade the Wisecracker...

924
00:56:42,769 --> 00:56:45,905
or Scaredevil,
Mr. Neverdie.

925
00:56:46,539 --> 00:56:47,841
Oh, shit.

926
00:56:48,208 --> 00:56:50,176
What?

927
00:56:50,176 --> 00:56:52,212
I put all my money
on you and now...

928
00:56:52,212 --> 00:56:53,813
I just realized
I'm never gonna win the, uh...

929
00:56:53,813 --> 00:56:54,914
Dead pool.

930
00:56:58,818 --> 00:57:01,121
Captain Deadpool...

931
00:57:02,956 --> 00:57:04,900
No, just...

932
00:57:04,900 --> 00:57:05,925
Just Deadpool, yeah.
Just Deadpool.

933
00:57:05,925 --> 00:57:08,940
To you, Mr. Pool.

934
00:57:08,940 --> 00:57:09,496
Deadpool.

935
00:57:09,496 --> 00:57:10,930
That sounds like
a ****ing franchise.

936
00:57:25,211 --> 00:57:27,981
This shit's gonna
have nuts in it.

937
00:57:27,981 --> 00:57:29,616
Where's Francis?

938
00:57:43,596 --> 00:57:45,198
Where's Francis?

939
00:57:53,606 --> 00:57:55,642
Seltzer water
and lemon for blood.

940
00:57:56,843 --> 00:57:59,813
Or wear red. Dumb***.

941
00:58:18,331 --> 00:58:19,966
Don't make me
ask twice.

942
00:58:21,201 --> 00:58:22,769
Where...

943
00:58:22,769 --> 00:58:25,305
is Francis?

944
00:58:25,305 --> 00:58:27,140
He made me ask twice.

945
00:58:27,140 --> 00:58:29,209
Is the mask muffling my voice?

946
00:58:33,947 --> 00:58:35,582
Where's Francis?

947
00:58:38,510 --> 00:58:39,986
Where the **** is Francis?

948
00:58:48,661 --> 00:58:51,965
You're about to be killed
by a Zamboni.

949
00:58:51,965 --> 00:58:53,199
Where's Francis?

950
00:58:54,667 --> 00:58:56,302
No! Please!

951
00:58:56,302 --> 00:58:59,239
Oh, God! I'm so sorry!

952
00:59:00,306 --> 00:59:03,209
Oh! You little
spider monkey!

953
00:59:06,790 --> 00:59:09,683
Where... is... Francis?

954
00:59:10,784 --> 00:59:11,985
This is confusing.

955
00:59:11,985 --> 00:59:13,319
Is it ***ist to hit you?

956
00:59:13,319 --> 00:59:14,988
Is it more ***ist
to not hit you?

957
00:59:14,988 --> 00:59:17,357
I mean, the line
gets real... blurry.

958
00:59:18,425 --> 00:59:19,626
WHERE IS FRANCIS?

959
00:59:21,127 --> 00:59:23,196
Tell me where
your ****ing boss is

960
00:59:23,196 --> 00:59:25,650
or you're gonna die!

961
00:59:25,650 --> 00:59:26,800
In five minutes!

962
00:59:36,843 --> 00:59:38,745
Don't hesitate to call me.

963
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,363
Nice to see you, Jared.

964
00:59:57,430 --> 00:59:59,265
I'll take the footlong...

965
00:59:59,265 --> 01:00:00,333
Fully loaded.

966
01:00:14,414 --> 01:00:15,982
Whoa, whoa!

967
01:00:15,982 --> 01:00:17,717
41 confirmed kills.

968
01:00:17,717 --> 01:00:20,860
Now it's 89.
About to be 90.

969
01:00:20,854 --> 01:00:21,988
Mr. Wilson?

970
01:00:21,988 --> 01:00:23,890
Ding-ding.

971
01:00:23,890 --> 01:00:26,192
You're looking
very alive.

972
01:00:26,192 --> 01:00:28,461
Ha! Only on the outside!

973
01:00:28,461 --> 01:00:30,130
This is not going to
end well for me, is it?

974
01:00:30,130 --> 01:00:31,431
This is not gonna
end well for you, no.

975
01:00:31,431 --> 01:00:32,799
Where's your boss?

976
01:00:32,799 --> 01:00:34,300
I can tell you exactly...

977
01:00:36,690 --> 01:00:38,438
Oh, you'll tell me.
But first...

978
01:00:38,438 --> 01:00:40,907
You might wanna
look away for this.

979
01:00:40,907 --> 01:00:42,208
Now this little piggy
went to...

980
01:00:44,210 --> 01:00:46,713
Thank you, Agent Smith.

981
01:00:50,150 --> 01:00:51,217
Taxi!

982
01:00:52,752 --> 01:00:55,550
Hop in! Great day for a ride.

983
01:00:56,923 --> 01:00:58,558
And we all know
how this turned out.

984
01:01:08,100 --> 01:01:10,170
There. All caught up.

985
01:01:17,844 --> 01:01:20,447
We're here.

986
01:01:20,447 --> 01:01:23,817
Sorry about
bleeding in all your garbage.

987
01:01:29,989 --> 01:01:32,920
Seltzer water and
lemon for blood.

988
01:01:32,592 --> 01:01:34,160
Whoo!

989
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:36,863
Some kinds of anger
can't be managed...

990
01:01:36,863 --> 01:01:39,320
like the kind where
your year-long plan

991
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,635
ends with the wrong guy
getting dismembered!

992
01:01:42,635 --> 01:01:45,538
That said, when it comes time
to licking wounds,

993
01:01:45,538 --> 01:01:47,774
there's no place like home.

994
01:01:47,774 --> 01:01:49,876
Ah, and I share that home
with someone you've met,

995
01:01:49,876 --> 01:01:52,645
the old blind lady
from the laundromat, Al.

996
01:01:52,645 --> 01:01:54,547
God, I miss cocaine.

997
01:01:54,547 --> 01:01:57,170
Her.

998
01:01:57,170 --> 01:01:59,519
Fourth-wall break
inside a fourth-wall break.

999
01:01:59,519 --> 01:02:02,622
That's like 16 walls.

1000
01:02:02,622 --> 01:02:04,900
She's like Robin to my Batman,

1001
01:02:04,900 --> 01:02:08,280
except she's old,
and black, and blind.

1002
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:10,630
And I think
she's in love with me.

1003
01:02:10,630 --> 01:02:13,666
Wait, pretty sure
Robin loves Batman, too.

1004
01:02:23,576 --> 01:02:24,644
Al?

1005
01:02:26,913 --> 01:02:28,515
Morning, sleepyhead.

1006
01:02:29,816 --> 01:02:31,985
It smells like
old lady pants in here.

1007
01:02:31,985 --> 01:02:33,987
Yes, I'm old.
I wear pants.

1008
01:02:33,987 --> 01:02:35,855
But you're no lady.

1009
01:02:35,855 --> 01:02:39,125
Oh! So comfy.

1010
01:02:39,125 --> 01:02:42,195
Upside of being blind:
I've never seen you in Crocs.

1011
01:02:43,730 --> 01:02:45,231
Yes, I know.

1012
01:02:45,231 --> 01:02:48,100
Downside of being blind...

1013
01:02:48,100 --> 01:02:50,570
I hear everything
in this duplex.

1014
01:02:52,605 --> 01:02:53,840
Sit on a stick.

1015
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:54,874
Bactin?

1016
01:02:54,874 --> 01:02:59,120
Yeah. Bactin should do it.

1017
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:01,881
How's that Kullen
coming along?

1018
01:03:01,881 --> 01:03:03,983
IKEA doesn't assemble itself,
you know.

1019
01:03:03,983 --> 01:03:06,986
You're telling me.
I don't mind the Kullen.

1020
01:03:06,986 --> 01:03:09,622
It's an improvement
on the Hurdal.

1021
01:03:09,622 --> 01:03:12,158
Please. Anything's an
improvement over the Hurdal.

1022
01:03:12,158 --> 01:03:16,262
I'd have taken an Hemnes
or a Trysil over the Hurdal.

1023
01:03:16,262 --> 01:03:19,132
Oh, no, I didn't get excited
till I saw the Kullen.

1024
01:03:19,132 --> 01:03:20,300
Screw, please.

1025
01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:21,868
Here? Now?
Just kidding.

1026
01:03:21,868 --> 01:03:23,360
I know it's been decades.

1027
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,204
You'd be surprised.

1028
01:03:24,904 --> 01:03:26,720
Pretty grossed out.

1029
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,577
Ta... Da.

1030
01:03:36,149 --> 01:03:39,786
I wish I never heard
of Craigslist.

1031
01:03:39,786 --> 01:03:41,540
And I quote,
"Looking for roommate,

1032
01:03:41,540 --> 01:03:42,322
"blind to
life's imperfections.

1033
01:03:42,322 --> 01:03:44,900
"Must be good with hands."

1034
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:45,892
Or would you rather I build
the IKEA, and you pay rent?

1035
01:03:45,892 --> 01:03:47,861
Why such a douche
this morning?

1036
01:03:48,628 --> 01:03:50,330
Let's recap.

1037
01:03:50,330 --> 01:03:52,320
The **** thistle that
turned me into this freak...

1038
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:53,833
slipped through
my arms today...

1039
01:03:55,301 --> 01:03:57,300
Arm.

1040
01:03:57,300 --> 01:03:58,338
Catching him was
my only chance

1041
01:03:58,338 --> 01:04:00,173
to be hot again,
get my super ***y ex back...

1042
01:04:00,173 --> 01:04:02,642
and prevent this shit from
happening to someone else.

1043
01:04:02,642 --> 01:04:04,644
So, yeah,
today was about as much fun

1044
01:04:08,181 --> 01:04:09,849
# driveby.

1045
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,235
Found out who our friend
in the red suit is.

1046
01:04:31,671 --> 01:04:34,341
****ing Wade Wilson.

1047
01:04:34,341 --> 01:04:37,344
I suppose I'd wear a mask too
if I had a face like that.

1048
01:04:37,344 --> 01:04:39,120
I only wish I healed the same.

1049
01:04:42,949 --> 01:04:45,819
Still, we'll put him
out of our misery.

1050
01:04:45,819 --> 01:04:47,320
On our terms.

1051
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:49,189
Right.
And when he heals?

1052
01:04:50,123 --> 01:04:51,324
He can't.

1053
01:04:51,324 --> 01:04:53,960
Not if there's nothing
left of him to heal.

1054
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:57,997
You know, it's funny.
I almost miss the ****er.

1055
01:04:59,299 --> 01:05:00,900
I like a challenge.

1056
01:05:02,135 --> 01:05:04,270
But he's bad
for business.

1057
01:05:04,270 --> 01:05:06,106
Now let's go
find him.

1058
01:05:06,973 --> 01:05:08,410
Oh.

1059
01:05:10,410 --> 01:05:12,120
Tylenol PM?

1060
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,914
You can stick that
where you stuck the Bactin.

1061
01:05:14,914 --> 01:05:17,283
I raided my stash
of wisdom tooth Percocet...

1062
01:05:17,283 --> 01:05:21,354
and I am orbiting
****ing Saturn right now.

1063
01:05:24,157 --> 01:05:27,127
But I appreciate the gesture.

1064
01:05:27,127 --> 01:05:31,731
Am I crazy,
or is your hand really small?

1065
01:05:31,731 --> 01:05:33,767
About the size of
a KFC spork.

1066
01:05:33,767 --> 01:05:35,668
Ugh.

1067
01:05:35,668 --> 01:05:37,904
I get why you're so pissy...

1068
01:05:37,904 --> 01:05:39,439
but your mood's
never gonna brighten

1069
01:05:39,439 --> 01:05:40,907
till you find this woman...

1070
01:05:40,907 --> 01:05:42,275
and tell her how you feel.

1071
01:05:42,275 --> 01:05:43,977
What do I keep telling you,
Mrs. Magoo?

1072
01:05:43,977 --> 01:05:45,812
She wouldn't have me.

1073
01:05:45,812 --> 01:05:47,447
If you could see me,
you'd understand.

1074
01:05:47,447 --> 01:05:48,782
Looks aren't everything.

1075
01:05:48,782 --> 01:05:49,916
Looks are everything.

1076
01:05:49,916 --> 01:05:52,180
You ever heard
David Beckham speak?

1077
01:05:52,180 --> 01:05:54,354
It's like he mouth-***ed
a can of helium.

1078
01:05:54,354 --> 01:05:55,922
You think Ryan Reynolds
got this far

1079
01:05:55,922 --> 01:05:57,791
on his superior acting method?

1080
01:05:57,791 --> 01:05:59,590
Love is blind, Wade.

1081
01:05:59,590 --> 01:06:00,126
No.

1082
01:06:01,161 --> 01:06:03,960
You're blind.

1083
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,660
So, you're just gonna
lie there and whimper?

1084
01:06:06,660 --> 01:06:08,168
No, I'm gonna wait till this
arm plows through puberty...

1085
01:06:08,168 --> 01:06:09,202
and then I'm gonna
come up with

1086
01:06:09,202 --> 01:06:10,403
a whole new
Christmas Day plan.

1087
01:06:11,104 --> 01:06:12,372
In the meantime,

1088
01:06:12,372 --> 01:06:14,374
you might wanna
leave the room.

1089
01:06:14,374 --> 01:06:16,976
I bet it feels huge
in this hand.

1090
01:06:18,211 --> 01:06:21,381
Go, go, go.

1091
01:06:21,381 --> 01:06:23,183
So, the doctor says,
"The bad news is

1092
01:06:23,183 --> 01:06:24,617
"you don't have
that long to live."

1093
01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:26,860
So, the patient says,
"How long do I have?"

1094
01:06:26,860 --> 01:06:28,540
The doctor says, "Five."

1095
01:06:28,540 --> 01:06:29,789
The guy says, "Five what?"

1096
01:06:29,789 --> 01:06:32,992
And the doctor says,
"Four, three, two..."

1097
01:06:40,834 --> 01:06:42,335
Can I help you ladies?

1098
01:06:44,971 --> 01:06:46,139
Oh, I do hope so.

1099
01:06:50,243 --> 01:06:51,878
I heard you might be
able to point me

1100
01:06:51,878 --> 01:06:54,981
in the direction
of a, um, friend of mine.

1101
01:06:54,981 --> 01:06:56,490
Name of Wade Wilson.

1102
01:06:57,417 --> 01:06:58,752
Sorry.

1103
01:06:58,752 --> 01:07:00,286
I don't know the name.

1104
01:07:07,494 --> 01:07:10,300
Hey, you're not supposed
to be behind the bar.

1105
01:07:13,533 --> 01:07:15,502
I've seen this girl.

1106
01:07:15,502 --> 01:07:17,300
Ah, this must be Vanessa.

1107
01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:18,204
I've heard so much about you.

1108
01:07:22,409 --> 01:07:25,178
Um, sweetheart,
you might wanna look around.

1109
01:07:25,178 --> 01:07:27,947
This isn't really the place
to do something like that.

1110
01:07:29,182 --> 01:07:31,170
Easy, Angel.

1111
01:07:31,170 --> 01:07:32,385
Put the little man down.

1112
01:07:33,987 --> 01:07:36,122
We have everything
we need now.

1113
01:07:36,122 --> 01:07:37,924
You sure?

1114
01:07:37,924 --> 01:07:41,270
You don't want any clothes
that are not monochromatic?

1115
01:07:41,270 --> 01:07:43,830
Have fun at your midnight
showing of Blade II.

1116
01:07:45,899 --> 01:07:47,300
Whoo.

1117
01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:49,135
Thanks for having
my back, guys.

1118
01:07:54,740 --> 01:07:56,443
Wade, we have
a ****ing problem.

1119
01:07:56,443 --> 01:07:59,212
And by "we," I mean "you."

1120
01:07:59,212 --> 01:08:01,348
Ah, I can't believe
I'm doing this.

1121
01:08:01,348 --> 01:08:04,284
Is there a word for
half afraid, half angry?

1122
01:08:04,284 --> 01:08:06,453
Yeah, "afrangry",
I guess.

1123
01:08:06,453 --> 01:08:08,321
Have you decided what
you're gonna say to her?

1124
01:08:08,321 --> 01:08:09,589
**** me!

1125
01:08:11,558 --> 01:08:13,693
Better find her fast
before numbnuts does.

1126
01:08:13,693 --> 01:08:15,328
How do you know
she's in here?

1127
01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:37,751
Every time I see her,
it's like the first time...

1128
01:08:37,751 --> 01:08:39,953
Especially from this angle.

1129
01:09:03,476 --> 01:09:04,778
You can't buy love,

1130
01:09:04,778 --> 01:09:07,580
but you can rent it
for three minutes.

1131
01:09:10,517 --> 01:09:13,319
Ah, you weak mother****er!

1132
01:09:13,887 --> 01:09:14,954
Come on!

1133
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:17,524
Come on, get it together.

1134
01:09:17,524 --> 01:09:19,592
This isn't about me,
this is about Vanessa.

1135
01:09:23,630 --> 01:09:24,964
Here we go.

1136
01:09:27,567 --> 01:09:29,335
Maximum effort.

1137
01:09:32,672 --> 01:09:33,840
Vanessa.

1138
01:09:36,409 --> 01:09:38,411
Someone out back
asking for you.

1139
01:09:38,411 --> 01:09:40,580
Something about, uh,
an old boyfriend.

1140
01:10:07,807 --> 01:10:08,942
I knew it was you.

1141
01:10:10,744 --> 01:10:12,779
The weird,
curvy edges.

1142
01:10:14,347 --> 01:10:16,820
Like a jigsaw puzzle.

1143
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:28,610
You have Wade Wilson
to thank for this.

1144
01:10:37,300 --> 01:10:38,738
Hey. Hey! Where'd she go?

1145
01:10:38,738 --> 01:10:40,707
Uh, I saw her
head to the back.

1146
01:10:40,707 --> 01:10:42,750
Go get her, tiger.

1147
01:11:05,310 --> 01:11:07,534
****. ****!

1148
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:11,871
Mother****er!

1149
01:11:11,871 --> 01:11:13,600
Wait, wait.
Let's... Just...

1150
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:14,740
**** juggling...

1151
01:11:14,740 --> 01:11:15,141
We can talk about
what we're gonna...

1152
01:11:15,141 --> 01:11:16,176
Jiminy! **** face!

1153
01:11:16,176 --> 01:11:17,610
Okay, or you
can hit that.

1154
01:11:17,610 --> 01:11:19,512
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
****! ****!

1155
01:11:19,512 --> 01:11:20,880
No, no.
All right. Hey!

1156
01:11:20,880 --> 01:11:22,649
****! ****!

1157
01:11:22,649 --> 01:11:24,184
****!
Hey, um...

1158
01:11:24,184 --> 01:11:26,786
Whoa! Whoa!
Relax. Relax. Okay.

1159
01:11:26,786 --> 01:11:28,880
Okay. I think
that's a good start.

1160
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:30,156
Oh, I'm gonna rip
his mother****ing...

1161
01:11:30,156 --> 01:11:31,424
Wait.

1162
01:11:31,424 --> 01:11:32,892
Find it! Find it.
What?

1163
01:11:32,892 --> 01:11:34,761
I'm gonna get angry.
Okay. All right.

1164
01:11:34,761 --> 01:11:36,629
All right. Okay. All right.

1165
01:11:36,629 --> 01:11:37,931
Here. This is Vanessa.

1166
01:11:37,931 --> 01:11:39,966
What?
No, wait. It's Francis.

1167
01:11:39,966 --> 01:11:42,769
He wants you
to come to him.

1168
01:11:42,769 --> 01:11:44,537
What is that?
That's the shit emoji.

1169
01:11:44,537 --> 01:11:46,673
You know, it's the turd with
the smiling face and the eyes?

1170
01:11:46,673 --> 01:11:49,900
I thought it was chocolate
yogurt for so long.

1171
01:11:49,709 --> 01:11:50,944
I need guns.

1172
01:11:50,944 --> 01:11:52,780
Okay, which ones?

1173
01:11:52,780 --> 01:11:53,213
I need all the guns!

1174
01:11:53,213 --> 01:11:54,681
All right. Okay.

1175
01:12:15,135 --> 01:12:16,770
That's about 3,000 rounds.

1176
01:12:17,704 --> 01:12:20,730
We all know
what I can do with 12.

1177
01:12:20,730 --> 01:12:22,242
Hey, hey, careful with that,
Ronnie Milsap!

1178
01:12:22,242 --> 01:12:23,610
We're downrange.

1179
01:12:24,878 --> 01:12:26,546
I was gonna
spend the night

1180
01:12:26,546 --> 01:12:29,683
assembling the Borje,
but this is holding my interest.

1181
01:12:29,683 --> 01:12:32,585
I told you, we're going with
the Urvaj, not the Borje.

1182
01:12:32,585 --> 01:12:34,587
Get it through your head
or get out of **** town.

1183
01:12:34,587 --> 01:12:37,257
Shit. That's all the pieces
in the house.

1184
01:12:37,257 --> 01:12:39,592
Nah, nah... Come on.
Let's go. Cough it up.

1185
01:12:39,592 --> 01:12:41,610
Up, up, up.

1186
01:12:42,950 --> 01:12:43,630
Oh. Down, down, down.

1187
01:12:43,630 --> 01:12:44,698
**** you.

1188
01:12:46,499 --> 01:12:49,202
.45 cal. I like it.

1189
01:12:51,237 --> 01:12:52,672
Wade...

1190
01:12:53,773 --> 01:12:56,643
I'd go with you,
but I don't want to.

1191
01:12:59,713 --> 01:13:01,140
Uh...

1192
01:13:01,140 --> 01:13:02,215
Listen, Al...

1193
01:13:03,183 --> 01:13:05,852
if I never see
you again,

1194
01:13:05,852 --> 01:13:09,289
I want you to know that
I love you very much.

1195
01:13:09,289 --> 01:13:13,159
And also, uh, there's
about 116 kilos of cocaine

1196
01:13:13,159 --> 01:13:14,694
buried somewhere
in the apartment...

1197
01:13:14,694 --> 01:13:17,530
right next to the cure
for blindness. Good luck.

1198
01:13:22,869 --> 01:13:24,304
You wanna get ****ed up?

1199
01:13:34,180 --> 01:13:35,849
Put her down
over here.

1200
01:13:45,925 --> 01:13:47,160
Go on then.

1201
01:13:49,662 --> 01:13:52,665
Thanks, ****less.
And I mean you.

1202
01:13:52,665 --> 01:13:55,969
Wow. You're a talker too.
You and Wade.

1203
01:13:55,969 --> 01:13:57,804
I've been trying
to tell you ***holes,

1204
01:13:57,804 --> 01:13:59,205
you've got the wrong girl.

1205
01:13:59,205 --> 01:14:00,907
My old boyfriend,
he's dead.

1206
01:14:00,907 --> 01:14:04,678
See, I thought that too.
But he keeps on coming back.

1207
01:14:04,678 --> 01:14:05,945
Like a cockroach...

1208
01:14:05,945 --> 01:14:08,214
but uglier.

1209
01:14:08,214 --> 01:14:12,852
Now, I may not feel,
but he does.

1210
01:14:12,852 --> 01:14:14,888
Let's see how he fights
with your head on the block.

1211
01:14:23,730 --> 01:14:25,198
Ripley, from Alien 3!

1212
01:14:25,832 --> 01:14:27,801
****, you're old.

1213
01:14:29,235 --> 01:14:31,705
Fake laugh.
Hiding real pain.

1214
01:14:31,705 --> 01:14:33,390
Go get Silver Balls.

1215
01:14:33,390 --> 01:14:35,608
You guys going for a bite?
Early bird special?

1216
01:14:35,608 --> 01:14:36,843
Oh, like there's
something wrong

1217
01:14:36,843 --> 01:14:38,378
with eating before sundown
or saving money.

1218
01:14:38,378 --> 01:14:41,915
No, you know that bad guy
that you let go?

1219
01:14:42,349 --> 01:14:44,284
He's got my girl.

1220
01:14:44,284 --> 01:14:46,119
You're gonna
help me get her back.

1221
01:14:46,119 --> 01:14:48,210
Wade, is that you?

1222
01:14:48,210 --> 01:14:49,689
Yeah, it's me, Deadpool,

1223
01:14:49,689 --> 01:14:52,625
and I got an offer
that you can't refuse.

1224
01:14:55,128 --> 01:14:56,229
I'm gonna wait
out here, okay?

1225
01:14:56,229 --> 01:14:57,797
It's a big house.

1226
01:14:57,797 --> 01:14:59,632
It's funny that I only
ever see two of you.

1227
01:14:59,632 --> 01:15:01,901
It's almost like the studio
couldn't afford another X-Man.

1228
01:15:05,271 --> 01:15:06,906
And that is why,
in my opinion...

1229
01:15:10,643 --> 01:15:12,312
Who brought
this twinkly man?

1230
01:15:12,312 --> 01:15:14,414
Twinkly, but deadly.

1231
01:15:14,414 --> 01:15:17,170
My chrome-penised
friend back there

1232
01:15:17,170 --> 01:15:19,119
has agreed
to do me this solid.

1233
01:15:19,119 --> 01:15:21,121
In exchange,
I said that I would

1234
01:15:21,121 --> 01:15:23,156
consider joining his boy band.

1235
01:15:23,156 --> 01:15:24,424
It's not boy band.

1236
01:15:24,424 --> 01:15:26,259
Sure it's not.

1237
01:15:26,259 --> 01:15:29,295
So,
any luck winning Gita back?

1238
01:15:29,295 --> 01:15:31,898
I tried to hold on tight,
Mr. Pool...

1239
01:15:31,898 --> 01:15:36,136
but Bandhu is more craftier
and handsomer than me.

1240
01:15:36,136 --> 01:15:37,971
Well, I think you're
pretty darn cute.

1241
01:15:43,810 --> 01:15:45,378
Dopinder.
Hmm?

1242
01:15:46,780 --> 01:15:47,847
What was that?

1243
01:15:48,415 --> 01:15:49,816
Uh...

1244
01:15:49,816 --> 01:15:55,388
That was Bandhu
in the trunk.

1245
01:15:56,560 --> 01:15:58,124
Ban who?

1246
01:15:58,124 --> 01:16:00,193
My romantic rival Bandhu.
He's tied up in the trunk.

1247
01:16:00,193 --> 01:16:01,961
I'm doing as you said, DP.

1248
01:16:01,961 --> 01:16:03,963
I plan to gut him
like a tandoori fish,

1249
01:16:03,963 --> 01:16:05,865
then dump his carcass
on Gita's doorstep.

1250
01:16:07,670 --> 01:16:08,835
I did not tell him
to do that.

1251
01:16:08,835 --> 01:16:11,438
Absolutely not.
It got lost in translation.

1252
01:16:11,438 --> 01:16:14,841
Dopinder, this is no way
to win Gita's heart back!

1253
01:16:14,841 --> 01:16:16,476
I'm so proud of you.

1254
01:16:16,476 --> 01:16:18,111
Drop Bandhu off,
safe and gentle-like.

1255
01:16:18,111 --> 01:16:19,179
Kill him.

1256
01:16:19,179 --> 01:16:21,348
And then,
win Gita back...

1257
01:16:21,348 --> 01:16:24,217
the old fashioned way:
with your boyish charm.

1258
01:16:24,217 --> 01:16:25,819
Kidnap her.

1259
01:16:27,120 --> 01:16:28,321
He's super dead.

1260
01:16:28,855 --> 01:16:29,923
Whoa!

1261
01:16:33,827 --> 01:16:35,362
I presume a crisp
high five?

1262
01:16:35,362 --> 01:16:38,231
For you? 10.

1263
01:16:38,231 --> 01:16:41,101
Okay, guys, let's get out there
and make a difference.

1264
01:16:41,101 --> 01:16:43,690
You know what to do.

1265
01:16:43,970 --> 01:16:46,740
Knock 'em dead,
Pool Boy!

1266
01:16:47,841 --> 01:16:49,909
Time to make
the chimi-****in'-changas.

1267
01:16:51,244 --> 01:16:52,979
Not often
a dude ruins your face...

1268
01:16:52,979 --> 01:16:55,982
skull-stomps your sanity,
grabs your future baby mama...

1269
01:16:55,982 --> 01:16:57,751
and personally sees to four

1270
01:16:57,751 --> 01:17:00,153
of your five
shittiest moments.

1271
01:17:00,153 --> 01:17:04,357
Let's just say it's beginning
to look a lot like Christmas.

1272
01:17:17,270 --> 01:17:18,772
Hey.

1273
01:17:18,772 --> 01:17:20,730
Where's your duffle bag?

1274
01:17:38,892 --> 01:17:41,861
Bandhu?

1275
01:17:41,861 --> 01:17:43,930
Leave a message
and have a happy day.

1276
01:17:43,930 --> 01:17:45,298
God damn it!

1277
01:17:45,298 --> 01:17:47,670
I'm gonna do this
the old fashioned way...

1278
01:17:47,670 --> 01:17:50,503
with two swords
and maximum effort.

1279
01:17:51,438 --> 01:17:52,539
Cue the music.

1280
01:18:08,588 --> 01:18:11,591
Wade Wilson!

1281
01:18:11,591 --> 01:18:13,326
What's my name?

1282
01:18:13,326 --> 01:18:15,528
Oh, I'mma ****in'
spell it out for ya.

1283
01:18:17,897 --> 01:18:19,320
Go get some.

1284
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:20,200
Superhero landing.

1285
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:21,334
She's gonna do
a superhero landing.

1286
01:18:21,334 --> 01:18:22,402
Wait for it.

1287
01:18:25,605 --> 01:18:26,906
Whoo!

1288
01:18:26,906 --> 01:18:28,475
Superhero landing!

1289
01:18:28,475 --> 01:18:29,976
You know, that's really
hard on your knees.

1290
01:18:29,976 --> 01:18:31,945
Totally impractical.
They all do it.

1291
01:18:31,945 --> 01:18:35,215
You're a lovely lady, but
I'm saving myself for Francis.

1292
01:18:35,215 --> 01:18:36,516
That's why
I brought him.

1293
01:18:36,516 --> 01:18:39,853
I prefer not to hit a woman,
so please...

1294
01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:50,630
I mean,
that's why I brought her?

1295
01:18:51,464 --> 01:18:53,633
Oh, no, finish your tweet.
It's not... That's...

1296
01:18:53,633 --> 01:18:55,335
Just give us a second.
Yeah.

1297
01:18:55,335 --> 01:18:56,870
There you go.
Hashtag it.

1298
01:18:58,104 --> 01:19:00,400
Go get her, tiger.

1299
01:19:06,513 --> 01:19:10,350
Oh, I so pity the dude who
pressures her into prom ***.

1300
01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:12,886
All right, then. Fire!

1301
01:19:24,297 --> 01:19:26,320
Finish ****ing her
the **** up!

1302
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:27,133
Language, please.

1303
01:19:27,133 --> 01:19:28,368
Suck a ****.

1304
01:19:54,294 --> 01:19:56,960
Look away, child.

1305
01:19:56,596 --> 01:19:58,131
Look away!

1306
01:20:05,338 --> 01:20:06,673
Wait!

1307
01:20:06,673 --> 01:20:08,800
Wait!

1308
01:20:08,800 --> 01:20:09,420
Cease fire!

1309
01:20:09,420 --> 01:20:10,343
Cease fire!

1310
01:20:10,343 --> 01:20:11,978
Fellas! Hey! Hey!

1311
01:20:13,213 --> 01:20:17,500
You only work for that
shit-spackled muppet fart.

1312
01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:19,219
So, I'mma give you a chance

1313
01:20:19,219 --> 01:20:21,870
for y'all to lay down
your firearms...

1314
01:20:21,870 --> 01:20:24,157
in exchange for preferential,
bordering on gentle...

1315
01:20:24,157 --> 01:20:27,727
possibly even
lover-like treatment.

1316
01:20:29,562 --> 01:20:30,730
Fine.

1317
01:20:30,730 --> 01:20:32,320
Commando!

1318
01:21:44,370 --> 01:21:45,171
Teabag!

1319
01:21:49,542 --> 01:21:50,610
Bob?

1320
01:21:51,544 --> 01:21:52,779
Wade?

1321
01:21:52,779 --> 01:21:54,470
Oh, my God,
I haven't seen you since...

1322
01:21:54,470 --> 01:21:56,349
Jacksonville. Fridays.
Since TGI Fridays.

1323
01:21:57,150 --> 01:21:59,386
Well, what the hell!

1324
01:21:59,386 --> 01:22:01,540
God, come here, you.

1325
01:22:03,123 --> 01:22:05,525
How are the kids?
Good?

1326
01:22:05,525 --> 01:22:07,360
And Gail, she still fixing
that tuna casserole?

1327
01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:09,195
So good.
But bad for the waistline,

1328
01:22:09,195 --> 01:22:10,563
if you know what
I'm talking about.

1329
01:22:14,834 --> 01:22:17,700
Oh!

1330
01:22:17,700 --> 01:22:20,407
Your... On the left.
You are beautiful woman.

1331
01:22:20,407 --> 01:22:21,675
That is so sweet.

1332
01:22:21,675 --> 01:22:22,809
Uh...

1333
01:22:22,809 --> 01:22:24,770
Thanks.

1334
01:22:36,156 --> 01:22:36,923
Yoo-hoo!

1335
01:22:36,923 --> 01:22:37,691
Does he
write you notes too?

1336
01:22:37,691 --> 01:22:40,930
He's such a romantic.

1337
01:22:40,930 --> 01:22:41,494
Don't worry, baby.
I'm comin'.

1338
01:22:42,696 --> 01:22:44,230
Fire!

1339
01:22:51,438 --> 01:22:53,206
Hey!

1340
01:22:53,206 --> 01:22:54,274
Climb on!

1341
01:23:31,244 --> 01:23:32,746
Mother****ing...

1342
01:23:44,157 --> 01:23:46,626
Mother****er should have
worn his brown pants.

1343
01:23:49,396 --> 01:23:50,597
You were right,
beautiful.

1344
01:23:51,431 --> 01:23:53,299
Red really is my color.

1345
01:23:53,800 --> 01:23:54,934
Wade?

1346
01:23:54,934 --> 01:23:56,403
Don't worry, baby...

1347
01:23:56,403 --> 01:23:58,805
I'mma get you out
of that shit-box.

1348
01:23:58,805 --> 01:24:01,241
What better way to crawl back
inside that head of yours?

1349
01:24:01,241 --> 01:24:03,176
Oh, you never left.

1350
01:24:03,176 --> 01:24:05,311
But you did, ***hole!

1351
01:24:05,311 --> 01:24:06,746
Ah, deep breath, darling.

1352
01:24:08,314 --> 01:24:09,482
Oh, wait.

1353
01:24:10,517 --> 01:24:12,218
Wrong choice of words.

1354
01:24:15,255 --> 01:24:17,257
I hope they blocked pain
to your every last nerve.

1355
01:24:17,257 --> 01:24:18,391
'Cause I'mma go lookin'!

1356
01:24:19,659 --> 01:24:22,295
I hear you grow back
body parts now, Wade.

1357
01:24:22,295 --> 01:24:23,396
When I'm finished...

1358
01:24:23,396 --> 01:24:25,298
parts will have
to grow back you.

1359
01:24:25,298 --> 01:24:26,466
Good one.

1360
01:24:27,333 --> 01:24:29,269
Yep, that was a good one.

1361
01:24:29,269 --> 01:24:30,336
Let's dance.

1362
01:24:31,571 --> 01:24:32,806
And by dance, I mean...

1363
01:24:32,806 --> 01:24:34,441
let's try to kill each other.

1364
01:25:28,628 --> 01:25:31,310
Fine. Fists.

1365
01:25:31,310 --> 01:25:33,266
Oh, sounds like
your last Saturday night.

1366
01:26:51,110 --> 01:26:53,113
***hole!

1367
01:27:49,335 --> 01:27:50,937
Hang in there,
baby!

1368
01:27:50,937 --> 01:27:53,600
Wade!
I gotcha!

1369
01:27:56,242 --> 01:27:58,712
I got a plan.
You're not gonna like it.

1370
01:28:08,955 --> 01:28:10,123
Shit! Shit! Shit!

1371
01:28:15,995 --> 01:28:18,665
Don't worry.
I'm totally on top of this.

1372
01:28:33,747 --> 01:28:35,782
Ah! Damn it!

1373
01:28:36,616 --> 01:28:39,619
Maximum effort!

1374
01:29:21,861 --> 01:29:22,929
Thanks.

1375
01:29:27,867 --> 01:29:29,402
Just take it slow.

1376
01:29:36,109 --> 01:29:37,677
Yoo-hoo!

1377
01:29:39,913 --> 01:29:42,682
Oh, my God! That was so...

1378
01:30:13,480 --> 01:30:16,182
There are no words!

1379
01:30:16,182 --> 01:30:19,919
Me and you are headed
to fix this butterface.

1380
01:30:20,487 --> 01:30:21,855
What?

1381
01:30:24,900 --> 01:30:27,227
You stupid ****ing idiot.

1382
01:30:27,227 --> 01:30:31,931
Did you really think
there was a cure... for that?

1383
01:30:33,767 --> 01:30:35,135
What?

1384
01:30:35,135 --> 01:30:36,236
You heard me.

1385
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:39,172
No.

1386
01:30:39,172 --> 01:30:40,407
No!

1387
01:30:47,747 --> 01:30:51,351
So, you mean to say...

1388
01:30:51,351 --> 01:30:56,222
after all this,
you can't fix me?

1389
01:30:56,222 --> 01:30:58,358
It sounds even stupider
when you say it.

1390
01:30:58,358 --> 01:31:00,293
Like the kind of stupid
who admits

1391
01:31:00,293 --> 01:31:03,463
he can't do the one thing
I'm keeping him alive for?

1392
01:31:07,333 --> 01:31:09,202
Any last words?

1393
01:31:11,370 --> 01:31:12,172
What's my name?

1394
01:31:13,206 --> 01:31:14,341
Who ****ing cares?

1395
01:31:14,341 --> 01:31:15,408
Wade!

1396
01:31:17,430 --> 01:31:19,913
Four or five moments.

1397
01:31:19,913 --> 01:31:21,648
I'm sorry?

1398
01:31:21,648 --> 01:31:23,383
Four or five moments,
that's all it takes.

1399
01:31:24,170 --> 01:31:25,850
To?

1400
01:31:25,985 --> 01:31:27,320
Be a hero.

1401
01:31:29,356 --> 01:31:32,258
Everyone thinks
it's a full-time job.

1402
01:31:32,258 --> 01:31:34,561
Wake up a hero,
brush your teeth a hero,

1403
01:31:34,561 --> 01:31:35,995
go to work a hero.

1404
01:31:36,329 --> 01:31:38,231
Not true.

1405
01:31:38,231 --> 01:31:41,434
Over a lifetime, there are
only four or five moments

1406
01:31:41,434 --> 01:31:44,700
that really matter.

1407
01:31:44,700 --> 01:31:46,506
Moments when you're
offered a choice.

1408
01:31:46,506 --> 01:31:49,275
To make a sacrifice,
conquer a flaw,

1409
01:31:49,275 --> 01:31:50,910
save a friend...

1410
01:31:51,344 --> 01:31:54,514
spare an enemy.

1411
01:31:54,514 --> 01:31:56,820
In these moments...

1412
01:31:56,850 --> 01:32:00,253
everything else falls away.

1413
01:32:00,253 --> 01:32:03,256
The way the world sees us.

1414
01:32:03,256 --> 01:32:04,324
The way we...

1415
01:32:08,461 --> 01:32:09,596
Why?

1416
01:32:10,864 --> 01:32:12,932
You were droning on.

1417
01:32:12,932 --> 01:32:16,200
Sure, I may be stuck looking
like pepperoni flatbread...

1418
01:32:16,200 --> 01:32:19,390
but at least ****face
won't heal from that.

1419
01:32:19,390 --> 01:32:22,108
If wearing superhero tights...

1420
01:32:22,108 --> 01:32:23,510
means sparing psychopaths...

1421
01:32:23,510 --> 01:32:25,879
then maybe I wasn't
meant to wear 'em.

1422
01:32:25,879 --> 01:32:28,214
Not everyone monitors
a hall like you.

1423
01:32:28,214 --> 01:32:29,315
Just promise...

1424
01:32:29,315 --> 01:32:31,510
Yeah, yeah,
I'll be on the lookout

1425
01:32:31,510 --> 01:32:33,286
for the next four moments.

1426
01:32:33,286 --> 01:32:35,210
Oh, shit.

1427
01:32:35,210 --> 01:32:38,625
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm just a boy,

1428
01:32:38,625 --> 01:32:41,270
about to stand
in front of a girl...

1429
01:32:41,270 --> 01:32:42,328
and tell her...

1430
01:32:42,328 --> 01:32:44,397
What the ****
am I gonna tell her?

1431
01:32:44,397 --> 01:32:47,867
Well, hmm,
you better figure it out.

1432
01:32:49,202 --> 01:32:50,470
I can't even tell you...

1433
01:32:50,470 --> 01:32:52,339
I deserved that.
That, too.

1434
01:32:52,339 --> 01:32:54,107
No, no, no,
maybe not the nethers.

1435
01:32:54,107 --> 01:32:56,760
Start talking!

1436
01:32:58,440 --> 01:32:59,913
I'm sorry.

1437
01:32:59,913 --> 01:33:02,148
I'm so sorry.

1438
01:33:02,148 --> 01:33:04,651
For everything,
I'm sorry for leaving...

1439
01:33:06,186 --> 01:33:08,288
I'm sorry for not
cowboying up sooner.

1440
01:33:08,288 --> 01:33:10,123
It's been rough
couple of years.

1441
01:33:10,123 --> 01:33:11,191
Rough?

1442
01:33:18,965 --> 01:33:20,900
I live in a crackhouse.

1443
01:33:22,350 --> 01:33:23,370
With a family of 12.

1444
01:33:25,105 --> 01:33:26,573
Every night
we spoon for warmth.

1445
01:33:26,573 --> 01:33:29,642
Everybody fights for Noelle.
She's the fattest.

1446
01:33:29,642 --> 01:33:31,411
There's nothing
that we don't share.

1447
01:33:42,622 --> 01:33:45,250
So, you live in a house.

1448
01:33:53,633 --> 01:33:56,669
I should have come
and found you sooner.

1449
01:33:58,171 --> 01:33:59,506
But, baby,
the guy under this mask,

1450
01:33:59,506 --> 01:34:02,208
he ain't the same one
that you remember.

1451
01:34:06,446 --> 01:34:07,681
You mean this mask?

1452
01:34:27,734 --> 01:34:29,469
And this one.

1453
01:34:30,970 --> 01:34:32,672
In case the other fell off.

1454
01:34:35,575 --> 01:34:38,440
All right.
Yeah, just... Ow.

1455
01:34:38,440 --> 01:34:39,646
Like a Band-Aid,
just give it a...

1456
01:34:39,646 --> 01:34:41,981
Owdie 5,000.

1457
01:34:41,981 --> 01:34:43,116
Wait, wait, wait...

1458
01:34:44,984 --> 01:34:46,252
Are you sure?

1459
01:34:48,880 --> 01:34:49,155
I'm sure.

1460
01:34:59,366 --> 01:35:00,433
Wow.

1461
01:35:01,668 --> 01:35:03,360
Yeah.

1462
01:35:09,709 --> 01:35:11,244
Hey.

1463
01:35:13,380 --> 01:35:15,615
After a brief
adjustment period...

1464
01:35:15,615 --> 01:35:17,617
and a bunch of drinks...

1465
01:35:19,850 --> 01:35:21,121
it's a face...

1466
01:35:25,425 --> 01:35:27,193
I'd be happy to sit on.

1467
01:35:34,501 --> 01:35:38,138
I'm not the same
underneath this suit, either.

1468
01:35:38,138 --> 01:35:39,572
No.

1469
01:35:41,574 --> 01:35:43,677
Come on, Wade. Language.

1470
01:35:43,677 --> 01:35:45,245
Young one is present.

1471
01:35:46,246 --> 01:35:48,181
What are you still doing?

1472
01:35:48,181 --> 01:35:50,784
Get out of here.
Go make yourself useful!

1473
01:35:50,784 --> 01:35:53,653
You, go be a really
big brother to someone.

1474
01:35:53,653 --> 01:35:55,488
Tell Beast to stop
shitting on my lawn.

1475
01:35:55,488 --> 01:35:57,457
And you,
chicken noodle...

1476
01:35:57,457 --> 01:35:59,359
Nothing compares to you.

1477
01:35:59,359 --> 01:36:01,461
Sinead O'Connor, 1990.
Sorry.

1478
01:36:01,461 --> 01:36:04,297
That's all right.
You're cool.

1479
01:36:06,166 --> 01:36:07,767
What in the ***?

1480
01:36:07,767 --> 01:36:11,337
That was not mean.
I'm proud of you!

1481
01:36:11,337 --> 01:36:14,507
We will make an X-Man
of you yet, Wade.

1482
01:36:14,507 --> 01:36:15,809
For a second there,

1483
01:36:15,809 --> 01:36:17,644
it felt like we were
three mini-lion robots...

1484
01:36:17,644 --> 01:36:20,800
coming together to form
one super robot.

1485
01:36:20,714 --> 01:36:22,115
There's a stupid.

1486
01:36:22,115 --> 01:36:23,216
Yeah.

1487
01:36:26,519 --> 01:36:31,910
And now, for the moment
I've all been waiting for.

1488
01:36:34,627 --> 01:36:35,795
Come here.

1489
01:36:40,100 --> 01:36:43,136
Wham! As promised.

1490
01:36:44,537 --> 01:36:47,774
Who doesn't love
a happy ending, huh?

1491
01:36:47,774 --> 01:36:49,442
'Til next time, this is

1492
01:36:49,442 --> 01:36:51,678
your friendly neighborhood
pool guy singin'...

1493
01:36:51,678 --> 01:36:54,180
♪ I'm never gonna dance again

1494
01:36:54,180 --> 01:36:57,650
♪ The way I danced with you ♪

1495
01:42:15,869 --> 01:42:18,938
Captioned by Deluxe

1496
01:42:30,450 --> 01:42:32,180
You're still here?

1497
01:42:34,621 --> 01:42:37,724
It's over. Go home.

1498
01:42:39,426 --> 01:42:41,895
Oh, you're expecting
a teaser for Deadpool 2.

1499
01:42:41,895 --> 01:42:44,731
Well, we don't have
that kind of money.

1500
01:42:44,731 --> 01:42:47,767
What are you expecting?
Sam Jackson to show up?

1501
01:42:47,767 --> 01:42:50,537
With an eye patch and a saucy
little leather number?

1502
01:42:50,537 --> 01:42:52,105
Go. Go.

1503
01:42:57,444 --> 01:42:59,212
Oh.

1504
01:42:59,212 --> 01:43:00,980
But I can tell you one thing,
and it's a bit of a secret.

1505
01:43:00,980 --> 01:43:04,150
For the sequel,
we're gonna have Cable.

1506
01:43:04,150 --> 01:43:06,720
Amazing character.
Bionic arm, time travel.

1507
01:43:06,720 --> 01:43:07,887
We have no idea
who we're gonna cast yet,

1508
01:43:07,887 --> 01:43:09,220
but it could be anybody.

1509
01:43:09,220 --> 01:43:10,657
Just need a big guy
with a flat top.

1510
01:43:10,657 --> 01:43:12,459
Could be Mel Gibson,
Dolph Lundgren...

1511
01:43:12,459 --> 01:43:14,894
Keira Knightley.
She's got range. Who knows.

1512
01:43:14,894 --> 01:43:16,463
Anyway, big secret. Shh...

1513
01:43:16,463 --> 01:43:18,498
Oh, and don't leave your
garbage all lying around.

1514
01:43:18,498 --> 01:43:20,900
It's a total **** move.

1515
01:43:21,801 --> 01:43:22,936
Go.