1 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,992 **** Wolverine. 2 00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:09,829 First, he rides my coattails with the R rating. 3 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,900 Then the hairy mother****er ups the ante by dying. 4 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,338 Well, guess what, Wolvie? 5 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,707 I'm dying in this one, too. 6 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:28,882 To understand why I took a cat-nap on 1,200 gallons of high-test fuel... 7 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,619 I need to take you back to the dewy slopes of six weeks ago. 8 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,388 I'd gone international, taking out mass murderers, 9 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,757 gangsters, unspeakable monsters. 10 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,694 People nobody would touch. Except me. 11 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,463 I'm gonna touch them all over. 12 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,569 Hey, it's Gail calling. Love the shiny suit. 13 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:52,272 Really brings out the *** trafficker in your eyes. 14 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,474 Whatever they're paying, I'll double it. 15 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:57,644 I don't speak Cantonese, Mister... 16 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:03,550 Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that. But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so... 17 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,618 Where is the library? 18 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,987 Which literally translates to... 19 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,291 I don't bargain, pumpkin ****er. 20 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,484 I'll take a cranberry-grapefruit vodka. 21 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:40,860 I know it's called a Sea Breeze. Don't make me say it. 22 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,755 Hit it, Dolly. 23 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,708 Taking the hands out of the guns of the criminals! 24 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,151 Do not go in there! 25 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,631 Oh, God! Oh, God, time out! Time out! 26 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:28,234 Cut. Got bad guy blood, right in my open eye. 27 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,470 That's so gross. 28 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,739 ****. 29 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,542 Scoutmaster Kevin? 30 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,416 Too exotic? 31 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:50,323 My world tour brought me home to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov. 32 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:53,226 But we'll get to him in a moment. 'Cause I know what you're thinking. 33 00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:56,262 "I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home." 34 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,764 But that's where you'd be wrong. 35 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,834 That babysitter of yours is high as **** right now... 36 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:05,171 and, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. 37 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,373 True story. 38 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:10,210 And every good family film starts with a vicious murder. 39 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:13,279 Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7. 40 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:16,616 Holy shit pickles! That guy's on fire. 41 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,552 That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire. 42 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,922 Yeah. You know I get paid to take out bad guys, right? 43 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:26,893 But this guy? He was one of the worst of 'em. 44 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,898 Hurry up and open this ****ing door, and let's kill this mother****er! 45 00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:40,473 So gross. 46 00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,276 A panic room? Really? 47 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,311 Can you come out? 48 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:49,149 I really have to go. It's my anniversary. 49 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,824 Over and over, I hear people say, "I just don't have enough confidence." 50 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,926 Listen, confidence is not something you have. 51 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,428 It's something you create. 52 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,563 And you can create it at any moment in time. 53 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,666 A sense of confidence is nothing but a sense of power within yourself... 54 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,835 a sense of certainty that you can pull something off. 55 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,438 Start the car! Start the ****ing car! Dopinder! 56 00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,406 Start the ****ing car! 57 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:22,349 Oh, I shit my pants. 58 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,684 Actually, that may have been me. 59 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,190 Oh, mission accomplished? 60 00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:27,921 Well, in a George W. sort of way. 61 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,856 ****er can't stay in a panic room forever. 62 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,458 You're living the dreams, DP. 63 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,661 It has been quite the run, Dopinder, and who'da thought? 64 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,863 Now I'm talked about in the same sentence as Jesus. 65 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:40,533 Passion of the Christ, then me. At least domestically. 66 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,370 We beat them overseas, where there's no such thing as religion. 67 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,106 I do want to live the dreams, Pool Boy. 68 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,475 Taxiing is not as ***y as it looks. 69 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,276 - I want to fill my... - Pockets? 70 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,446 What's your poison? A little cokey cokey? 71 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,549 Can't maintain an erection without buying shoes online? 72 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,853 I've never experienced that last one. Talk to me, Goose. 73 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,722 I was going to say "soul". I want to fill my soul. 74 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,992 I want to belong to something, like you, Pool, sir. 75 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,127 Dopinder... 76 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,629 you never cease to surprise me. 77 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,000 You know, the depth of your heart is extraordinary. 78 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:18,710 We all need a sense of belonging. We all need a genuine sense of home. 79 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,730 - A place in this world. - I want to become a contract killer. 80 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,708 I'm sorry. What did you say? 81 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:25,211 Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great violence? 82 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,680 You kind of killed him. 83 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,682 And then remember the movie Interview with the Vampire? 84 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,849 Don't want to. 85 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:34,870 When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time... 86 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:38,892 and she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said... 87 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,261 "I want some more." 88 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:45,198 Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst. 89 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:48,101 I'll never not picture that. 90 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,938 But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible. 91 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,340 We're here. 92 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,345 You're my Tom Cruise! 93 00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:01,548 And you're my Kristen Dunst! Kristen? Kirsten? 94 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:07,921 Sorry I'm late. 95 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:11,958 There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree... 96 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,259 and I had to... 97 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,363 You're right. I was fighting a caped bad***. 98 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,798 But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too. 99 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,866 No. 100 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,234 Traffic? 101 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,638 Kiss me like you miss me, Red. 102 00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:26,706 Well, come here. 103 00:08:28,410 --> 00:08:29,209 Don't you want your surprise? 104 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,111 Do I look like a patient burn victim? 105 00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,146 I got one for you, too. 106 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,815 Happy anniversary, baby. 107 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,450 Open, open, open. 108 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,787 Skee-Ball token. 109 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,622 Our first date. 110 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,240 Yup. 111 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:46,960 That's genuine, high-grade lead. 112 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:50,964 I'll keep it forever. 113 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,902 - Open yours. - All right, all right. 114 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,341 That's just the most beautiful thing that I've... 115 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,842 I don't know what this is. 116 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,310 My IUD. 117 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,745 A bomb? 118 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,116 What, you mean that your... 119 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,860 Oh, my God! 120 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,623 Oh, my God! I want a boy! 121 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,459 Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other! 122 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,595 And I want our kid to have only one name. 123 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,665 Like Cher or Todd. 124 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,668 Papa... 125 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,471 Can you hear me? 126 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,709 Papa, can you see me? 127 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,110 Does this song sound familiar to you? 128 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,748 May. 129 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:46,219 Connor, if it's a boy. May, if it's a girl. 130 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:53,760 So weird. Family was always an F-word to me. 131 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,498 My pile of shit father took off and bailed. 132 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,768 I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models 133 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,170 to draw off of for Todd. 134 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:07,507 Hey. Look at me. 135 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,844 You are not your father. 136 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,880 Besides... 137 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:18,752 I will never, ever let our child be named Todd. 138 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,880 But here's the thing, isn't that how it always works? 139 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,359 Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father... 140 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,130 and then have consensual *** with their sister? 141 00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,599 I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie. 142 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,769 No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her. 143 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,470 Baby, that's Empire. 144 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,573 The point is, kids... 145 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,711 they give us a chance to be better than we are. 146 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,647 Better than we used to be. 147 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,750 You're a lot smarter than I look. 148 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,530 I'm gonna go make dessert. 149 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,623 You get the strap-on. Let's make a super baby. 150 00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,293 Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try. 151 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,764 What about Krystal? But with a "K"? 152 00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,733 It's too stripper-y. 153 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,468 Kevin with a "K"! 154 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,603 No, too stripper-y, too. 155 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,772 Earl! 156 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:17,310 He's gonna go straight to jail if we name him Earl. 157 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,646 What about Bruce? 158 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:21,815 No. 159 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:23,116 Get down. 160 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,150 What? 161 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,115 Baby? Baby? 162 00:11:58,685 --> 00:11:59,786 I'm okay. 163 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,956 Thank God I didn't have to use the cream cheese spreader. 164 00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:38,992 Please. 165 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,899 Please. Please. 166 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,102 Baby, I'm so sorry. 167 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:53,600 No! 168 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,260 Papa, can you hear me? 169 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,564 Is it just me, or does Do You Want to Build a Snowman? from Frozen... 170 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,934 sound suspiciously like Papa, Can You Hear Me? from Yentl? 171 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,538 Papa, can you hear me? 172 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,775 And nobody ****ing realizes it. 173 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,378 Go home. You've been here for three days, okay? 174 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,114 You smell like somebody shit in a Civil War wound... 175 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,749 after it had become gangrenous. 176 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,984 They should've just amputated it. Why shit in it? 177 00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:26,219 Doesn't make any sense. 178 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,954 I love Frozen. 179 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:31,658 I loved her. I loved her like an ocean loves water. 180 00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:33,590 An ocean is water. 181 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:37,764 More importantly, I liked her. I really liked her, you know? 182 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:41,301 George Michael was right. I'm never gonna dance again. ****! 183 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:42,936 He's dead, too. 184 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,939 At least we still have Bowie. 185 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:50,143 Yeah. We still have Bowie. 186 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:51,745 I'm sorry. 187 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:55,448 Shot after shot, it's not gonna change the fact that I think you're... 188 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,950 Are you pissing? Are you urinating right now? 189 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,753 You're making the face that you make when you urinate. 190 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,354 - Is he pissing? - I'm on it! 191 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,230 There you go, Dopinder. 192 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,991 If you want to be a contract killer... 193 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,594 you gotta handle a mop before you handle a gun. 194 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,960 Although I don't quite understand how they are at all similar. 195 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,432 Well, they both have handles. Now, leave me. 196 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,135 Go home, Wade. 197 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,537 I don't have a home, Weas, you know. I got a... 198 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,373 ****! Okay, I'm fine. 199 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,343 - I'm fine. - You know what "fine" stands for, Wade? 200 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,713 ****ed up, insecure, needy, and emotional. 201 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,381 According to the... 202 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,884 - Kübler-Ross. - Yeah. 203 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,153 According to the Kübler-Ross model... 204 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,955 denial is just one of the five stages of grief. 205 00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:37,957 Jesus Christ, Buck! 206 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,293 No more speaking lines for you. 207 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,530 "I'm thinking it over!" 208 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,232 Mother****! 209 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,266 ****! 210 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,838 The hell you doin' here? 211 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,272 Don't you know how to knock? 212 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,708 I thought you saw me... 213 00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,210 with your ears. 214 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,612 - You're lucky I didn't shoot you in the... - The wall? 215 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,490 The refrigerator? I'm in so much pain. 216 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,520 I heard the news, sweetie. 217 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,288 I'm very sorry. I am. 218 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,124 What am I gonna do, Al? 219 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,359 Probably something terrible. 220 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,895 Knowing you. 221 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,463 It was my fault. 222 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,566 I ****ing did this. 223 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:58,304 And all I wanna do is grab her and see her and tell her that I'm sorry, and I can't. 224 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,941 She's gone. 225 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,911 Sweetheart, can you speak up? 226 00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:11,818 Now, look, sugar. You need to just keep living. 227 00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:12,986 Thank you... 228 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:16,289 Matthew McConaughey, your words are a treasure. 229 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,824 Listen to the pain. 230 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:21,227 It's both history teacher and fortune teller. 231 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,130 Pain teaches us who we are, Wade. 232 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:28,168 Sometimes, it's so bad, we feel like we're dying. 233 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,571 But we can't really live till we've died a little, can we? 234 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,275 Wade? 235 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,446 - Wade? - I'm right here, Althea. 236 00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:43,817 And that is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. 237 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,190 You're absolutely right. 238 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,325 I'm about to do something terrible. 239 00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,598 There. All caught up. 240 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,501 You can't really live until you've died a little. 241 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,269 Let's test that theory, shall we? 242 00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,784 Baby factory's open for business. 243 00:20:21,855 --> 00:20:23,623 Your crazy matches my crazy. 244 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:26,126 I will never, ever let our child be named Todd. 245 00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,794 Skee-Ball token. 246 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,165 Happy International Women's Day. 247 00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:34,668 - Listen, I've been thinking a lot. - Really? 248 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:37,504 - About why we're so good together. - I love you, Wade Wilson. 249 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,408 Ness? 250 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,100 Ness? 251 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,845 Ness. 252 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:49,149 Ness, there's something here. I can't get to you. 253 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,190 Your heart's not in the right place. 254 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,355 Wait, hold on. What? 255 00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,224 Your heart's not in the right place. 256 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,727 Wait. What do you mean my heart's not in the right place? What does it... 257 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,416 I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade. 258 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,510 You're broken. 259 00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:28,421 Oh, God. I know that voice. 260 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,793 "Heart's in the right place." 261 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:35,395 "Heart's in the right..." What does that mean? 262 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,230 You've been sleep for three days. 263 00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:39,320 I took the liberty of dressing you. 264 00:21:39,650 --> 00:21:40,433 No shit. 265 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,402 Why can't I ****ing die? 266 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,970 Take your mask off, Wade. 267 00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:45,705 We must talk. 268 00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:47,374 You need fresh start. 269 00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,610 With training, you can be X-Man. 270 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,114 You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus. I'm not X-Man material. 271 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:55,749 Understatement of the year. 272 00:21:56,216 --> 00:21:58,818 Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade. 273 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,888 What in the **** knuckles is this? 274 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,656 She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit. 275 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:08,610 Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends. I'm just surprised anyone would date you. 276 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,163 Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. 277 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,265 I like this guy. 278 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,100 Give him a chance. 279 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,935 It's great seeing you like this. 280 00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:18,238 Yeah. 281 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:19,673 Bye, Wade! 282 00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,509 Now, some ground rules while under our roof. 283 00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:25,345 "Rule number one. No killing... 284 00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:28,848 "anyone ever, no matter how bad. 285 00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:31,518 "Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator." 286 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:32,585 Wade? 287 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,621 Wade? 288 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:35,822 Wade! 289 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,590 Don't try to chase me. 290 00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:39,826 I'm not ready to be touched again. 291 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:42,262 All these elderly white men on the walls... 292 00:22:42,295 --> 00:22:44,300 Should have brought my rape whistle. 293 00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:45,331 Hi. 294 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,534 Those were already damaged after they fell there! 295 00:22:48,268 --> 00:22:50,136 What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? 296 00:22:50,170 --> 00:22:52,372 Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings? 297 00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:54,774 And how would I do that exactly? 298 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,110 'Cause where the **** is everyone? 299 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,547 It's always just you and Negasonic Teenage Longest Name Ever... 300 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:01,614 Enough! 301 00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:03,550 I said no touching! 302 00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:07,887 What the ****? 303 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,690 You'd think the studio would throw us a bone. 304 00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:13,493 They can't just dust off one of the famous X-Men? 305 00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:15,662 How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings? 306 00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:16,863 What do those do anyway? 307 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:20,367 Carry him three feet off the ground to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb? 308 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,569 No, no, no! 309 00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,538 I am not X-Man material at all. 310 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:26,573 First off... 311 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,176 I'm not even a virgin. Second and more... 312 00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:35,248 I should have left you in the self-pitying mess I found you in. 313 00:23:35,315 --> 00:23:38,318 But this is what friends do. They show up! 314 00:23:38,351 --> 00:23:40,200 Not when convenient or easy. 315 00:23:40,387 --> 00:23:43,757 When hard, and you always make it hard. 316 00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:47,327 You are unwell. 317 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,496 I'm sticking my neck out bringing you here. 318 00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:52,866 Wait. One of the ***holes who killed Vanessa got away. 319 00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:57,437 Jesus Christ! 320 00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:00,730 Wade, whoever they are... 321 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,909 we track them down and bring them to justice. 322 00:24:03,343 --> 00:24:04,678 It was me. 323 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,349 I'm the ***hole who got away. 324 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,860 I killed every last one of them, except me. 325 00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,188 Couldn't kill me. 326 00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,460 We were gonna start a family. 327 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,467 We were gonna be a family. 328 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:29,102 Wade... 329 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,938 Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back. 330 00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,875 This may not be family you want... 331 00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:37,911 but it's family you need. 332 00:24:38,378 --> 00:24:41,247 You have a good heart. It belongs here where it can grow. 333 00:24:43,490 --> 00:24:44,500 What did you say? 334 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:47,420 About my heart? 335 00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:00,293 Wade. 336 00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:02,620 Wade! 337 00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:05,632 Hey, I was just taking Cerebro for a spin here... 338 00:26:05,665 --> 00:26:07,233 looking deep into the future. 339 00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:08,702 This thing... 340 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:10,637 - That's not how Cerebro works. - That's not how Cerebro works. 341 00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,205 Yes. Yes, it is. 342 00:26:12,672 --> 00:26:14,341 - We have mission. - We have mission. 343 00:26:14,374 --> 00:26:16,309 We do. You do. 344 00:26:16,343 --> 00:26:17,644 You guys be safe out there. 345 00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:20,413 - No, I want you to join. - No, you want me to join. 346 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:23,316 I'm sorry, what? 347 00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:24,884 You are ready. 348 00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,586 That's a terrible idea, and it's gonna end badly. 349 00:26:26,653 --> 00:26:28,688 You wanna know how I know? I'll give you a hint. 350 00:26:28,722 --> 00:26:31,725 It's on my head and smells like Patrick Stewart. 351 00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:33,660 Be at the X-Jet in five. 352 00:26:36,863 --> 00:26:39,499 Irene Merryweather, WHIT News. 353 00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:41,434 Live here at a breaking news situation 354 00:26:41,501 --> 00:26:44,204 at the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation. 355 00:26:44,237 --> 00:26:47,540 A mutant boy is appearing to have some sort of an incident... 356 00:26:47,574 --> 00:26:49,342 - with police here behind me. - Get away from me! 357 00:26:49,376 --> 00:26:51,745 There are two police vehicles that are overturned. 358 00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:53,346 - There are open fires. - **** off! Stay back! 359 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,281 - A scene of absolute chaos here. - Calm down. 360 00:26:55,348 --> 00:26:58,184 I'll burn you! You stay back! 361 00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:00,687 Get away from me! 362 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,355 You wanna ****ing die? 363 00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:21,374 And it appears as if the X-Men are arriving... 364 00:27:21,408 --> 00:27:22,409 Scatter! 365 00:27:22,976 --> 00:27:23,977 ...with what appears to be a trainee. 366 00:27:25,450 --> 00:27:28,480 Everyone, calm down! The pros are here. I... 367 00:27:28,810 --> 00:27:29,215 We're the X-Men! 368 00:27:29,249 --> 00:27:31,317 A dated metaphor for racism in the '60s. 369 00:27:31,885 --> 00:27:33,753 So, respect. 370 00:27:34,287 --> 00:27:35,555 At ease, Officer. 371 00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:38,658 What are you doing? 372 00:27:39,125 --> 00:27:40,427 My job! 373 00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:43,396 You're the one who said I was ready, and I frankly disagreed with you. 374 00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:45,899 But here we are, trying to overcome our differences. 375 00:27:45,932 --> 00:27:48,335 Like Beyoncé says, "Please... 376 00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,937 - "Please, stop cheating on me." - Hey! 377 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:53,139 This is the fifth incident. 378 00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:55,408 This kid needs to be in the Ice Box, not here. 379 00:27:55,442 --> 00:27:57,177 Russell belongs in our care. 380 00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,579 Not in prison. I assure you... 381 00:27:59,612 --> 00:28:01,247 - we have everything under control. - Stay back! I'll burn you! 382 00:28:01,281 --> 00:28:04,250 Not getting a real "under control" vibe here, Marty. 383 00:28:04,651 --> 00:28:06,686 - It is Glen, isn't it? - Daniel. 384 00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:09,122 I'll ask the questions. Let me talk to the kid. 385 00:28:09,155 --> 00:28:13,326 You stay here with your weird, secret *** lips. 386 00:28:15,428 --> 00:28:16,529 You wanna die? 387 00:28:16,596 --> 00:28:18,798 This kid's adorable. I don't know why I packed the hollow points. 388 00:28:18,832 --> 00:28:20,300 I'll burn your balls off! 389 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:22,836 First day. I'm so nervous! 390 00:28:23,703 --> 00:28:25,205 Did you just say "hollow points"? 391 00:28:25,472 --> 00:28:28,441 Yeah, probably should've brought a Super Soaker. 392 00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:30,377 Hi, there! 393 00:28:31,678 --> 00:28:34,147 Stay back or Justin Bieber dies! 394 00:28:35,315 --> 00:28:37,784 Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber. 395 00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:40,787 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait! 396 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:43,890 Okay, let's not do whatever that is. 397 00:28:43,957 --> 00:28:45,458 Okay? Let's just talk! 398 00:28:45,492 --> 00:28:46,726 It's Russell, right? 399 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,995 - Firefist. - Firefist. 400 00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:51,698 That's a great name. Where does it burn? 401 00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,166 Just the fist, or all the way up to the elbow? 402 00:28:58,571 --> 00:29:00,473 Definitely all the way up to the elbow. 403 00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,876 Come quietly, or there will be trouble. 404 00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:06,790 - You stole that from Robocop! - That's from Robocop! 405 00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:10,316 Just stand down! You're embarrassing me. Look, Fire... 406 00:29:11,718 --> 00:29:14,200 Oh, my God! I can't say it! I'm so sorry! 407 00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:22,395 Oh, shit! That ****ing does it! 408 00:29:22,829 --> 00:29:25,832 Put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head! Now! 409 00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:28,680 Wade! What was first rule? 410 00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:30,700 Label everything in the refrigerator! 411 00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:32,772 - Do not escalate! - Rules are meant to be broken! 412 00:29:32,839 --> 00:29:35,709 That's the exact opposite of what they're meant for! 413 00:29:36,576 --> 00:29:38,440 ****! Fine! 414 00:29:38,578 --> 00:29:39,612 I'll start from the beginning. 415 00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:42,682 My name is Deadpool, and I'm an X-Man. 416 00:29:42,716 --> 00:29:44,617 - Trainee! - Shut it! 417 00:29:45,552 --> 00:29:47,854 Look, I get it. 418 00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:50,623 All right, you're scared. 419 00:29:51,191 --> 00:29:52,359 Alone. 420 00:29:52,392 --> 00:29:54,461 You got no family. I didn't have a family, either. 421 00:29:54,527 --> 00:29:58,310 You live in this dump. Guess what? I used to live in a shithole just like it. 422 00:29:58,932 --> 00:30:01,568 But you know something? To make matters worse... 423 00:30:01,601 --> 00:30:03,403 it's a confusing time in your life right now. 424 00:30:03,436 --> 00:30:07,730 Your body is going through some fiery changes. 425 00:30:07,107 --> 00:30:08,975 Too far? I went too far, didn't I? 426 00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:17,784 That was effervescent. 427 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:20,153 Stay in school, kid. 428 00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:22,122 Or don't. I didn't. 429 00:30:22,622 --> 00:30:24,224 And I'm an X-Man. 430 00:30:24,257 --> 00:30:25,392 Trainee. 431 00:30:25,425 --> 00:30:26,659 **** it! 432 00:30:26,726 --> 00:30:28,461 Superhero landing coming up! 433 00:30:32,632 --> 00:30:33,633 ****, ****, ****! 434 00:30:34,167 --> 00:30:35,602 That is so not practical. 435 00:30:56,656 --> 00:30:58,858 I could get used to this X-Man shit. 436 00:30:58,925 --> 00:31:00,960 - Trainee! - Trainee! 437 00:31:00,994 --> 00:31:02,862 Get a power restraint on him. Now! 438 00:31:02,929 --> 00:31:05,999 Calm down, squirt. It's over. We got ya. 439 00:31:07,934 --> 00:31:09,469 What's that do? 440 00:31:09,502 --> 00:31:12,372 Power-dampening collar. Shuts down all mutant abilities. 441 00:31:12,439 --> 00:31:15,141 You can't get it off. Unless you've got a grenade. 442 00:31:16,142 --> 00:31:18,311 Could've used one of those in the first act. 443 00:31:18,345 --> 00:31:19,612 Thank you! 444 00:31:21,348 --> 00:31:23,683 That was absolutely thrilling. 445 00:31:23,717 --> 00:31:25,852 True heroism in action. 446 00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,554 We are in your debt. 447 00:31:28,355 --> 00:31:30,560 We can take it from here. 448 00:31:30,123 --> 00:31:32,325 Take me to the Ice Box, please! 449 00:31:32,359 --> 00:31:33,660 Anywhere's better than here. 450 00:31:33,693 --> 00:31:36,463 Believe me, son, you do not wanna go to the Ice Box. 451 00:31:36,496 --> 00:31:38,498 Let's get you inside, young man. 452 00:31:38,531 --> 00:31:40,400 No, wait, wait. Wait. 453 00:31:40,467 --> 00:31:41,968 You guys stay there. 454 00:31:52,450 --> 00:31:53,680 Those guys hurt you? 455 00:31:55,810 --> 00:31:56,149 Who? 456 00:31:58,184 --> 00:32:00,887 Baldilocks? Jared Kushner? 457 00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:03,857 Both of 'em? 458 00:32:07,994 --> 00:32:09,262 **** it. 459 00:32:09,329 --> 00:32:10,830 Four or five moments! 460 00:32:10,864 --> 00:32:11,931 I'm sorry? 461 00:32:11,998 --> 00:32:15,201 Four or five moments! 462 00:32:16,436 --> 00:32:19,205 That's all it takes to be a hero. 463 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,242 People think you wake up a hero... 464 00:32:22,575 --> 00:32:24,210 brush your teeth a hero... 465 00:32:24,778 --> 00:32:27,280 ejaculate into a soap dispenser a hero. 466 00:32:29,820 --> 00:32:32,852 But, no, being a hero takes only a few moments! 467 00:32:34,187 --> 00:32:35,922 A few moments... 468 00:32:35,955 --> 00:32:38,525 doing the ugly stuff no one else will do. 469 00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:43,196 No! 470 00:32:45,865 --> 00:32:47,200 Stand down! Hold your fire! 471 00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:49,469 - Wade, what did you do? - Colossus, no! 472 00:32:49,536 --> 00:32:50,804 That kid was abused! 473 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:52,639 - You can tell. You can always tell! - We have rules! 474 00:32:52,706 --> 00:32:55,475 You are not judge, jury or executioner! 475 00:32:55,542 --> 00:32:58,478 **** your rules! I fight for what's right! 476 00:32:58,545 --> 00:33:00,246 And sometimes you gotta fight dirty! 477 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,450 You let me down for the last time, Wade. 478 00:33:06,586 --> 00:33:08,888 Okay, get these guys in the pod. 479 00:33:08,922 --> 00:33:10,490 Take them to the Ice Box. 480 00:33:31,745 --> 00:33:32,746 Hey, baby! 481 00:33:33,813 --> 00:33:36,820 I wonder what gang I'll be in. 482 00:33:36,116 --> 00:33:37,584 Yeah! 483 00:33:37,617 --> 00:33:40,954 Is there, like, a Sorting Hat? Hi. 484 00:33:41,755 --> 00:33:42,756 Go! 485 00:33:45,959 --> 00:33:47,193 Hard left, douchebag. 486 00:33:51,664 --> 00:33:52,832 Please, after you. 487 00:33:53,967 --> 00:33:57,337 Another disgusting mutant off the streets. God bless America. 488 00:33:57,370 --> 00:33:58,638 Let's get a taco. 489 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,811 Nighty-night, you annoying prick! 490 00:34:37,143 --> 00:34:40,413 I'mma tell you what the big lie is. 491 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:41,815 Toilet paper. 492 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,251 Toilet paper is a plenty fine appetizer. 493 00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:47,520 But, then... 494 00:34:47,554 --> 00:34:49,989 Huggies Natural Care wet wipes. 495 00:34:50,230 --> 00:34:51,491 That's your main course. 496 00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:54,661 They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies. 497 00:34:55,328 --> 00:34:58,231 Finally, one more pass with the toilet paper, 498 00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,166 maybe clear out that excess moisture. 499 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,103 Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go, if you can get you a hair dryer. 500 00:35:03,169 --> 00:35:05,505 Just about 30 seconds will do you good. 501 00:35:09,209 --> 00:35:10,210 The ****? 502 00:35:11,444 --> 00:35:12,512 Year? 503 00:35:13,513 --> 00:35:14,514 What? 504 00:35:15,715 --> 00:35:17,450 What year is it? 505 00:35:17,517 --> 00:35:19,519 What kind of dumb*** question is that to ask? 506 00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,638 You're a long way from your superpowers. 507 00:35:38,672 --> 00:35:39,673 Yeah. 508 00:35:43,476 --> 00:35:44,577 ****! 509 00:35:44,644 --> 00:35:46,146 I wanted to be a superhero. 510 00:35:46,579 --> 00:35:48,581 Always wanted a real super suit. 511 00:35:49,182 --> 00:35:50,483 What happened? 512 00:35:50,517 --> 00:35:52,352 When was the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero? 513 00:35:53,530 --> 00:35:54,220 Never. 514 00:35:54,654 --> 00:35:56,423 The industry discriminates. 515 00:35:57,157 --> 00:35:58,825 **** superheroes. 516 00:35:59,392 --> 00:36:00,393 **** everyone. 517 00:36:00,894 --> 00:36:03,730 The first thing I wanna do when I get out of here... 518 00:36:03,763 --> 00:36:06,660 burn the headmaster alive... 519 00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:08,735 and then take a selfie with his smoldering corpse. 520 00:36:09,235 --> 00:36:11,204 Who says prison isn't reformative? 521 00:36:11,571 --> 00:36:13,206 ****er hates mutants. 522 00:36:14,341 --> 00:36:17,877 Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand. 523 00:36:18,278 --> 00:36:19,713 Your abilities. 524 00:36:21,214 --> 00:36:23,116 I know how seductive they are. 525 00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:26,953 Now, please don't cry. 526 00:36:34,270 --> 00:36:37,697 Tomorrow, we'll find the biggest guy in here... 527 00:36:38,431 --> 00:36:39,466 and we'll make him our... 528 00:36:43,403 --> 00:36:44,738 What was that? 529 00:36:44,771 --> 00:36:46,706 That is the biggest guy in here. 530 00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:49,476 Fun fact about the Ice Box... 531 00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:53,790 though no one's ever seen it, they keep a monster in the basement. 532 00:36:53,646 --> 00:36:56,983 Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing. 533 00:36:57,617 --> 00:36:58,618 Look. 534 00:36:59,619 --> 00:37:01,554 I can't protect you. 535 00:37:01,921 --> 00:37:06,259 With this collar on, my superpower is just unbridled cancer. 536 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:09,162 Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye. 537 00:37:09,796 --> 00:37:11,898 Now, if you'll excuse me... 538 00:37:11,931 --> 00:37:15,235 I've got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits. 539 00:37:15,268 --> 00:37:17,637 I'll start by making us a shank. 540 00:37:17,671 --> 00:37:19,606 - Good listening. - I stole that guard's pen... 541 00:37:19,639 --> 00:37:22,776 and stashed it in the old prison wallet, if you know what I'm saying. 542 00:37:23,610 --> 00:37:25,311 Prison wallet? 543 00:37:26,279 --> 00:37:28,748 I really hope I don't know what you're saying. 544 00:37:31,170 --> 00:37:33,620 I can hear you rummaging around in there. 545 00:37:38,358 --> 00:37:41,261 And to update you on the story reported earlier... 546 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:42,629 after a lengthy standoff 547 00:37:42,662 --> 00:37:45,532 outside the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation... 548 00:37:45,598 --> 00:37:48,702 two mutants were arrested and transported to the Ice Box... 549 00:37:48,768 --> 00:37:50,136 Entering repair mode. 550 00:37:54,607 --> 00:37:58,110 ...several police cars were destroyed and the X-Men were called in to restore order. 551 00:38:19,232 --> 00:38:24,671 Cells seven and nine now off-limits for medical personnel. 552 00:38:24,704 --> 00:38:28,808 Cells seven and nine now off-limits for medical personnel. 553 00:38:34,247 --> 00:38:36,820 Don't do that. 554 00:38:36,816 --> 00:38:39,519 What? Why are you winking at me? 555 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:44,891 I got your back. 556 00:38:44,924 --> 00:38:46,159 Oh, my God. 557 00:38:46,192 --> 00:38:47,694 You're sick, I gotta protect you. 558 00:38:47,727 --> 00:38:49,662 Just leave me alone, kid. 559 00:38:50,764 --> 00:38:51,865 Oh, great. 560 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:56,236 Well, hello there, new fish. 561 00:38:56,269 --> 00:38:59,205 It's nice to see some fresh faces around here. 562 00:38:59,739 --> 00:39:01,608 I've done some light catalog work... 563 00:39:01,675 --> 00:39:04,440 but, really, modeling is just a stepping stone to acting. 564 00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:05,245 I was talking to him. 565 00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:10,500 Have we met? I can't place your mustache. 566 00:39:10,450 --> 00:39:13,119 - Black Tom Cassidy. - White Wade Wilson. 567 00:39:13,186 --> 00:39:16,289 What's your superpower? Cultural appropriation? 568 00:39:16,589 --> 00:39:19,920 You're supposed to be the toughest cunt in here. 569 00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:20,960 You don't look like much to me. 570 00:39:21,761 --> 00:39:24,130 First rule of the yard, ****face... 571 00:39:24,197 --> 00:39:26,199 find the biggest guy and make him your... 572 00:39:28,301 --> 00:39:30,603 Second biggest guy. 573 00:39:30,637 --> 00:39:32,772 The last thing I need is more hepatitis. 574 00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:36,443 It's slippery, too. This table needs a wipe down! 575 00:39:36,476 --> 00:39:37,844 Can we get a wipe down on the table? 576 00:39:39,646 --> 00:39:41,281 Kid, I think you picked the wrong side. 577 00:39:41,948 --> 00:39:44,351 No, I didn't! He's my friend! 578 00:39:44,417 --> 00:39:46,586 Zip it. We're not friends. 579 00:40:01,935 --> 00:40:03,770 I had so much fun! You were like... 580 00:40:05,839 --> 00:40:06,973 Just let me die in peace. 581 00:40:07,874 --> 00:40:09,376 We make a great team! 582 00:40:09,943 --> 00:40:11,511 Oh, God! We're not a team. 583 00:40:12,445 --> 00:40:16,649 Why'd you say that back there? We're friends, partners. 584 00:40:16,683 --> 00:40:19,219 We're not partners or friends. 585 00:40:20,653 --> 00:40:22,856 This doesn't end with us riding into the sunset. 586 00:40:22,889 --> 00:40:25,580 It ends with me dying of cancer... 587 00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:28,561 and you winning the Ice Box award for softest mouth. 588 00:40:30,330 --> 00:40:33,733 There's only one person in this world that I care about, and she's gone. 589 00:40:35,535 --> 00:40:37,537 You wanna survive? 590 00:40:38,738 --> 00:40:41,908 Stop trying to shank the biggest guys in here... 591 00:40:41,975 --> 00:40:44,100 and make friends with them. 592 00:40:45,311 --> 00:40:46,880 Make friends with someone. 593 00:40:47,847 --> 00:40:50,500 Anyone but me. 594 00:40:50,884 --> 00:40:53,219 Maybe even Black Tim. 595 00:40:54,154 --> 00:40:55,722 Black Evan, I don't know. 596 00:40:55,755 --> 00:40:58,258 All I remember is he was African-American. 597 00:41:43,737 --> 00:41:49,109 System malfunctioning. Cells 7, 12, 14, 27. 598 00:41:49,142 --> 00:41:51,611 Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! Get in there! 599 00:41:51,644 --> 00:41:54,881 Cells 1, 3, 7, 8. 600 00:41:56,449 --> 00:41:57,450 Searching. 601 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,421 Cell 04 located. 602 00:42:02,756 --> 00:42:04,391 Door won't open! 603 00:42:04,924 --> 00:42:06,559 On your ****ing knees! 604 00:42:43,496 --> 00:42:45,198 That was our cell. 605 00:42:47,333 --> 00:42:50,837 What did I do to piss off a grumpy old ****er with a Winter Soldier arm? 606 00:43:00,547 --> 00:43:02,480 Get away from me, kid! 607 00:43:09,522 --> 00:43:10,857 Listen to me! Go! 608 00:43:16,162 --> 00:43:17,664 Hello, Russell. 609 00:44:41,114 --> 00:44:42,449 Hello, superpowers. 610 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:01,601 Who are you? 611 00:45:02,502 --> 00:45:03,737 I'm Batman. 612 00:45:21,821 --> 00:45:23,823 That's got some zip. 613 00:45:31,998 --> 00:45:35,168 Don't feel bad. Even I can't kill me. 614 00:45:35,502 --> 00:45:36,536 Talk! 615 00:45:37,103 --> 00:45:40,473 What kind of spineless shit stick tries to kill a 14-year-old boy? 616 00:45:41,608 --> 00:45:42,809 You might wanna start talking! 617 00:45:42,842 --> 00:45:45,612 'Cause I got a long history of firing at times like this! 618 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,381 The name's Cable. 619 00:45:48,948 --> 00:45:52,185 I'm from the future. Just walk away. 620 00:45:53,653 --> 00:45:55,121 So, you're from the future. 621 00:45:55,655 --> 00:45:57,624 I have three questions then. 622 00:45:57,657 --> 00:46:00,827 One, is dubstep still a thing? 623 00:46:01,294 --> 00:46:04,300 Two, which Sharknado are we on? 624 00:46:04,330 --> 00:46:07,133 And three, at what point do audiences say... 625 00:46:07,167 --> 00:46:08,468 "Enough with the robotic arms"? 626 00:46:53,847 --> 00:46:55,480 You're so dark! 627 00:46:55,810 --> 00:46:57,283 Are you sure you're not from the DC universe? 628 00:46:58,184 --> 00:46:59,586 I love dubstep! 629 00:47:25,879 --> 00:47:27,313 Is that a fanny pack? 630 00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:30,250 I used to have one of those in 1990-never. 631 00:47:30,984 --> 00:47:33,119 Something to remember you by. 632 00:47:33,153 --> 00:47:36,923 Give me that back! That goes with me everywhere. 633 00:47:36,956 --> 00:47:39,325 Like the memory of your ****ing fanny pack! 634 00:47:49,690 --> 00:47:50,904 Why are you protecting the kid? 635 00:47:52,472 --> 00:47:54,407 I don't give a **** about him... 636 00:47:54,808 --> 00:47:57,243 and his Are You My Mother? complex! 637 00:47:59,579 --> 00:48:00,814 What's this one do? 638 00:48:14,994 --> 00:48:19,320 In every film, there's a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. 639 00:48:19,990 --> 00:48:22,369 In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's prized bobsled broke. 640 00:48:23,300 --> 00:48:25,772 In Human Centipede, it was when those people... 641 00:48:25,805 --> 00:48:27,374 signed on to be in that movie. 642 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,975 But in this film, well... 643 00:48:29,676 --> 00:48:30,977 you're looking at it. 644 00:48:31,110 --> 00:48:32,779 On your ****ing knees, mutant. 645 00:48:35,648 --> 00:48:36,649 Rock... 646 00:48:40,653 --> 00:48:42,155 meet bottom. 647 00:48:52,732 --> 00:48:53,967 I love you, Wade Wilson. 648 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,235 Ness? 649 00:48:56,236 --> 00:48:57,704 Hey, Ness! 650 00:48:58,571 --> 00:49:00,340 Ness, can you let me in? 651 00:49:00,373 --> 00:49:02,542 Please! Please. 652 00:49:04,644 --> 00:49:05,712 Jesus. 653 00:49:08,682 --> 00:49:10,417 You're not giving me a lot of direction here. 654 00:49:10,483 --> 00:49:12,252 I'm at the end of my rope. 655 00:49:14,754 --> 00:49:17,157 Then I joined the X-Men. 656 00:49:17,190 --> 00:49:19,250 I went to prison. 657 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:24,597 Is it the kid? 658 00:49:26,666 --> 00:49:29,569 Kids give us a chance to be better than we used to be. 659 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:32,500 The kid! 660 00:49:45,618 --> 00:49:48,688 That's exactly what she meant. Your heart needs to be in the right place. 661 00:49:48,722 --> 00:49:50,523 I'm not gonna abandon this kid. 662 00:49:50,557 --> 00:49:53,259 He's never had anyone, ever. 663 00:49:53,293 --> 00:49:54,627 I need to be selfless. 664 00:49:54,694 --> 00:49:56,629 Yeah, but what does that mean? 665 00:49:56,696 --> 00:49:59,933 It means I'm gonna save Russell. 666 00:49:59,966 --> 00:50:01,534 Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa... 667 00:50:01,568 --> 00:50:04,637 but maybe I can save a robust teenager from New Zealand. 668 00:50:04,704 --> 00:50:06,639 Yeah, but what I mean is, like, the word "selfless." 669 00:50:06,706 --> 00:50:08,241 I literally don't know what that means. 670 00:50:08,274 --> 00:50:09,442 Jesus Christ. 671 00:50:09,476 --> 00:50:12,245 Okay, look. According to my guy, okay... 672 00:50:12,278 --> 00:50:15,949 those muties are being transferred to a supermax, 80 miles away. 673 00:50:15,982 --> 00:50:17,817 Great, I'll pick 'em off along the way. 674 00:50:17,884 --> 00:50:22,880 Hold your testicles there, buddy, okay? We're talking about an armored convoy... 675 00:50:22,122 --> 00:50:24,324 and a vicious super soldier from the future... 676 00:50:24,391 --> 00:50:27,160 that is looking to turn your skull into a ****able ashtray. 677 00:50:27,227 --> 00:50:30,597 You know what we need to do? We need to build a ****ing team. 678 00:50:30,630 --> 00:50:32,799 We need 'em tough, morally flexible... 679 00:50:32,832 --> 00:50:35,502 and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10 to 12 years. 680 00:50:35,568 --> 00:50:37,237 My body is an instrument of death. 681 00:50:38,438 --> 00:50:40,600 Not now, Dopinder. 682 00:50:40,730 --> 00:50:42,108 I could be of great use. 683 00:50:42,142 --> 00:50:43,743 What's your superpower? 684 00:50:45,311 --> 00:50:46,980 - Courage. - That's adorable. 685 00:50:47,130 --> 00:50:48,782 Do you have the courage to check and see... 686 00:50:48,815 --> 00:50:51,184 if there are enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser? 687 00:50:51,251 --> 00:50:52,285 Yes, sir. 688 00:50:52,318 --> 00:50:55,655 I'm sorry you had to see that, although I'm glad you heard it. 689 00:50:56,220 --> 00:50:57,957 All right, I'll put out a call for resumes. 690 00:50:57,991 --> 00:51:00,260 But we're not paying medical or dental. 691 00:51:00,293 --> 00:51:02,328 It's time to get back on LinkedIn. 692 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:43,703 Transport will begin at 0800 hours... 693 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:45,380 Oi. 694 00:51:45,710 --> 00:51:46,406 What the **** do you want? 695 00:51:46,473 --> 00:51:48,375 That's my ****ing pudding. 696 00:51:48,408 --> 00:51:49,709 - **** your pudding! - You like pudding? 697 00:52:11,564 --> 00:52:12,565 Hello? 698 00:52:14,868 --> 00:52:17,203 I know you're in there. 699 00:52:32,886 --> 00:52:35,188 Must be hard being the biggest guy in here. 700 00:52:36,456 --> 00:52:38,758 Lonely at the top, eh? 701 00:52:38,792 --> 00:52:40,760 They're moving us tomorrow. 702 00:52:43,229 --> 00:52:45,310 Maybe I can get you out of here. 703 00:52:46,232 --> 00:52:49,402 And we can make the whole world our *****. 704 00:52:51,237 --> 00:52:52,972 We need a secret code. 705 00:52:55,909 --> 00:52:58,645 No, that's stupid, Russell. Idiot. 706 00:53:05,919 --> 00:53:09,456 We're a team. We're like thugs, we're like gangsters. 707 00:53:09,489 --> 00:53:12,992 I'm like Tupac, and you're like Ice Cube. 708 00:53:13,259 --> 00:53:15,495 Supposedly, she can rap, too. 709 00:53:15,562 --> 00:53:18,164 I like that. Terrific, these are all terrific. 710 00:53:18,231 --> 00:53:19,966 Meet Bedlam. 711 00:53:19,999 --> 00:53:22,302 Cool name! Superpowers? 712 00:53:22,335 --> 00:53:24,170 I can distort electrical fields. 713 00:53:25,710 --> 00:53:27,273 Including the one inside your brain... 714 00:53:27,307 --> 00:53:29,909 causing anxiety, confusion... 715 00:53:29,943 --> 00:53:31,770 pain. 716 00:53:32,112 --> 00:53:34,180 So, basically, you're Dave Matthews. 717 00:53:34,247 --> 00:53:35,415 We can use him. 718 00:53:37,150 --> 00:53:38,818 I'm Zeitgeist. 719 00:53:38,852 --> 00:53:40,153 Cool. I like it. 720 00:53:40,186 --> 00:53:43,857 So you have the power to put your finger on the pulse of society? 721 00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:46,920 No. 722 00:53:46,126 --> 00:53:47,961 No, I spit acidic vomit. 723 00:53:48,962 --> 00:53:50,296 - Do you want me to demonstrate? - No! 724 00:53:50,330 --> 00:53:51,598 - We'll take your word for it. - Thank you. Yeah. 725 00:53:51,631 --> 00:53:53,199 Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay? 726 00:53:54,340 --> 00:53:56,670 And this is the Vanisher. 727 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:01,700 But... 728 00:54:02,175 --> 00:54:03,610 Vanisher! 729 00:54:06,179 --> 00:54:07,847 - Nice! - Right? 730 00:54:09,149 --> 00:54:10,283 He's not here, is he? 731 00:54:10,316 --> 00:54:11,851 He may be running late. 732 00:54:13,319 --> 00:54:15,789 My name's Rusty, but I go by Shatterstar. 733 00:54:16,189 --> 00:54:17,524 That's good, yeah. 734 00:54:17,557 --> 00:54:19,626 - "Rusty" is terrible. - Toughie. 735 00:54:19,659 --> 00:54:22,495 - So, where are you from? - The planet Mojo World. 736 00:54:22,529 --> 00:54:24,564 - So you're an alien, I guess. - Bad name. 737 00:54:24,631 --> 00:54:26,299 How does that help us? 738 00:54:26,332 --> 00:54:29,235 I'm basically better than you at everything. 739 00:54:29,302 --> 00:54:31,400 Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people 740 00:54:31,370 --> 00:54:32,639 that are worse than me at everything. 741 00:54:32,672 --> 00:54:34,874 A whole bunch of functional idiots. 742 00:54:34,908 --> 00:54:36,910 I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman. 743 00:54:36,976 --> 00:54:38,110 Isn't that Canada? 744 00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,480 You shut your goddamn trash mouth! 745 00:54:41,881 --> 00:54:43,383 - Meet... - Domino. 746 00:54:43,416 --> 00:54:45,685 - What's your shtick? - I'm lucky. 747 00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,587 If you're so lucky, then what are you doing here with us? 748 00:54:47,654 --> 00:54:48,855 I don't know yet. 749 00:54:48,888 --> 00:54:50,230 What's that supposed to mean? 750 00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:51,591 It means that I don't know yet. 751 00:54:51,658 --> 00:54:54,260 But there's a reason why I'm here, and I'll know when I know. 752 00:54:54,327 --> 00:54:55,829 Everything usually works out for me. 753 00:54:55,862 --> 00:54:57,697 Luck isn't a superpower. 754 00:54:57,731 --> 00:54:59,990 - Yes, it is. - No, it isn't. 755 00:54:59,165 --> 00:55:00,433 - Yes, it is. - No, ma'am. 756 00:55:00,500 --> 00:55:01,735 Mario No-pez. 757 00:55:01,768 --> 00:55:03,200 - Yeah. - Nacho cheese. 758 00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:04,838 - No, it definitely is. I really... - There's no way that it... 759 00:55:04,871 --> 00:55:07,730 - Sorry, I was interrupting you. - Sorry. No, I interrupted you. 760 00:55:07,107 --> 00:55:08,241 No, no, no. You can go first. 761 00:55:08,274 --> 00:55:09,843 I was just gonna say, "No, it isn't." 762 00:55:09,876 --> 00:55:12,545 I was gonna just bring it back to that yes, it is. 763 00:55:12,579 --> 00:55:14,114 Let's meet in the middle and say, "No, it isn't." 764 00:55:15,281 --> 00:55:17,417 - But it is. - Okay. 765 00:55:17,450 --> 00:55:19,850 - You're hired! - You're hired. 766 00:55:19,119 --> 00:55:20,420 Oh, lucky me. 767 00:55:20,453 --> 00:55:21,454 She's great. 768 00:55:22,889 --> 00:55:24,290 And last, but not least... 769 00:55:24,357 --> 00:55:25,458 Peter. 770 00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:28,728 Am I getting catfished here or...? 771 00:55:29,362 --> 00:55:32,399 - Any powers you wanna tell us about? - No. 772 00:55:32,932 --> 00:55:34,634 I don't have one. 773 00:55:34,701 --> 00:55:37,771 I just saw the ad and thought it looked fun. 774 00:55:38,805 --> 00:55:39,873 You're in. 775 00:55:39,906 --> 00:55:41,541 - Yeah. - ****! 776 00:55:43,810 --> 00:55:45,812 It's fulfilling work. 777 00:55:50,283 --> 00:55:51,584 Let's go! 778 00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:07,934 This is Convoy 17 departing the Ice Box. 779 00:56:07,967 --> 00:56:09,335 We are en route. 780 00:56:16,943 --> 00:56:19,312 Peacetime makes people soft. 781 00:56:20,914 --> 00:56:22,682 I was born into war. 782 00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:25,418 Bred into it. 783 00:56:26,519 --> 00:56:29,890 - Okay. - People think they understand pain. 784 00:56:30,357 --> 00:56:32,592 What's the most pain you've ever felt? 785 00:56:34,794 --> 00:56:36,863 - These restraints are pretty... - I've got a list. 786 00:56:38,298 --> 00:56:40,266 We're gonna work down it. 787 00:56:40,967 --> 00:56:41,968 Together. 788 00:56:43,136 --> 00:56:45,271 Number one, I'm gonna bend something. 789 00:56:46,206 --> 00:56:48,541 Something that was not meant to bend. 790 00:56:48,608 --> 00:56:50,877 I'm gonna stop you right there because I'm not gonna make it to two. 791 00:56:50,944 --> 00:56:52,312 I won't even make it to one. 792 00:56:52,345 --> 00:56:53,847 I don't do well with pain, you know. 793 00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,216 If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day. 794 00:56:56,649 --> 00:56:58,385 I cried when they canceled Felicity. 795 00:56:59,386 --> 00:57:02,222 When I get really scared, I get nervous erections. I have one right now. 796 00:57:02,288 --> 00:57:03,957 Don't look. It'll only make it worse. 797 00:57:03,990 --> 00:57:07,360 I don't want you to hurt me, and I'll tell you anything you wanna know. 798 00:57:08,328 --> 00:57:09,829 Except for where they are. 799 00:57:10,397 --> 00:57:13,660 Russell's in a convoy heading southbound on Gerry Duggan Parkway. 800 00:57:13,133 --> 00:57:14,734 The monster's with them. I wouldn't **** with him. 801 00:57:14,801 --> 00:57:15,969 You all know the plan. 802 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,873 Intercept the convoy, grab the boy. But not inappropriately! 803 00:57:19,906 --> 00:57:22,420 You know what, I wouldn't **** with Deadpool either. 804 00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:24,911 Because he's built a team. He's unstoppable. 805 00:57:24,978 --> 00:57:27,514 He has an *** pen. He'll stab you with it. 806 00:57:27,547 --> 00:57:30,183 Watch out for this guy, Cable! 807 00:57:30,216 --> 00:57:33,486 He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics. 808 00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,890 And if we succeed, we all go home early. 809 00:57:36,156 --> 00:57:38,425 So if you go after them, Cable, I warn you... 810 00:57:39,526 --> 00:57:41,227 there's a wind advisory in effect. 811 00:57:52,372 --> 00:57:53,940 A little turbulent up here. 812 00:58:01,381 --> 00:58:03,249 I don't know much about this Cable fella... 813 00:58:03,283 --> 00:58:06,386 but I guarantee he hasn't killed as many people as melanoma has. 814 00:58:07,854 --> 00:58:08,855 We're getting close! 815 00:58:09,222 --> 00:58:10,890 As a former X-Man... 816 00:58:10,924 --> 00:58:12,926 - Trainee. - Thank you, Bedlam. 817 00:58:12,959 --> 00:58:16,896 I was always appalled by the blatant ***ism in the group's name. 818 00:58:16,930 --> 00:58:18,465 X-Men! Men! 819 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,350 The point is, our group will be forward thinking. 820 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:23,470 Gender neutral. 821 00:58:23,536 --> 00:58:25,705 From now on, we'll be known as... 822 00:58:27,974 --> 00:58:29,476 X-Force. 823 00:58:29,542 --> 00:58:31,144 Isn't that a little derivative? 824 00:58:31,211 --> 00:58:33,613 I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter! 825 00:58:34,881 --> 00:58:36,316 That wasn't me. 826 00:58:43,390 --> 00:58:45,792 Hang the laundry out at 1,300 feet... 827 00:58:45,825 --> 00:58:47,594 intercept the convoy, and grab the boy. 828 00:58:47,627 --> 00:58:48,795 Let's bring on the carnage, baby! 829 00:58:48,828 --> 00:58:50,563 Get me on the ground, watch me go! 830 00:58:50,597 --> 00:58:51,598 Yeah! 831 00:58:52,132 --> 00:58:53,566 I can't wait to kill! 832 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,268 Hey! Hey! Hey! 833 00:58:56,403 --> 00:58:58,171 I just wanna say how proud I am of this team. 834 00:58:59,105 --> 00:59:01,975 You know, you guys look amazing! 835 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,911 Vanisher, I have no doubt you look amazing too. 836 00:59:04,944 --> 00:59:07,514 This is the family that I've always dreamed of having and I... 837 00:59:08,581 --> 00:59:09,616 Shit. 838 00:59:11,251 --> 00:59:12,919 I just get a little choked up sometimes. 839 00:59:12,952 --> 00:59:16,256 I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous about the high winds? 840 00:59:16,289 --> 00:59:17,691 - Gary. - My name's Peter. 841 00:59:17,757 --> 00:59:19,592 I realize that you're new to this, but relax. 842 00:59:19,626 --> 00:59:21,270 You've been chosen by a higher power. 843 00:59:21,327 --> 00:59:23,630 - Did he just call himself God? - I think he did. 844 00:59:23,663 --> 00:59:25,331 - I'd like to go home. - And I'd like... 845 00:59:25,365 --> 00:59:29,769 the McRib to be available year round, but sometimes dreams don't come true. 846 00:59:29,803 --> 00:59:31,871 I spent 10 years in Special Forces. 847 00:59:31,938 --> 00:59:34,607 You think we didn't jump out of the plane because of a light breeze? 848 00:59:34,641 --> 00:59:36,710 You're in this shit now, Mustache! 849 00:59:37,444 --> 00:59:39,379 I'm only yelling to impress the other guys. 850 00:59:39,446 --> 00:59:41,815 I'd never let anything happen to you, Sugarbear. 851 00:59:41,848 --> 00:59:44,170 Leonard, hit it! 852 00:59:52,692 --> 00:59:54,728 Go! Go! Go! 853 01:00:30,430 --> 01:00:31,831 Let's get some! 854 01:00:33,990 --> 01:00:34,367 Oh, yeah! 855 01:00:34,401 --> 01:00:37,237 Convoy, 12 o'clock! On my command! 856 01:00:38,204 --> 01:00:39,706 Deploy! Hey now! 857 01:00:46,246 --> 01:00:48,181 Little off course here. 858 01:00:50,350 --> 01:00:52,852 Holy mommy ****ing shit! 859 01:00:54,540 --> 01:00:55,388 There they are. 860 01:00:55,422 --> 01:00:57,891 Look at these gorgeous sons of *****es. 861 01:00:59,590 --> 01:01:00,960 Oh, yeah! That's right, Bedlam! 862 01:01:06,660 --> 01:01:09,769 No! Tripping mother****ing billies! 863 01:01:10,403 --> 01:01:13,239 Shatterstar. Okay, you got this. 864 01:01:14,140 --> 01:01:15,241 Left! 865 01:01:15,275 --> 01:01:16,643 Left! 866 01:01:16,710 --> 01:01:18,912 No, stage left, you idiot! 867 01:01:22,816 --> 01:01:25,485 Well, I guess we found something you're not better at. 868 01:01:27,387 --> 01:01:28,388 Vanisher. 869 01:01:29,890 --> 01:01:30,824 Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see. 870 01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:34,961 Really? 871 01:01:35,462 --> 01:01:37,263 All right, we could do this with four. 872 01:01:37,831 --> 01:01:40,834 Sugarbear. You got this, buddy! 873 01:01:40,900 --> 01:01:43,200 That's the stuff! That's the X-Force spirit! 874 01:01:44,237 --> 01:01:46,406 Never underestimate a man with a mustache! 875 01:01:46,439 --> 01:01:47,907 Just ask anyone in Brooklyn. 876 01:01:48,808 --> 01:01:50,810 - We did it! - You're a goddamn superhero, you! 877 01:01:50,844 --> 01:01:51,911 X-Force! 878 01:01:52,479 --> 01:01:53,480 X-Force. 879 01:02:03,623 --> 01:02:04,657 Peter. 880 01:02:04,691 --> 01:02:06,926 - I got you, buddy! You're gonna be fine! - This is not good, man! 881 01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,496 You got this, big guy! Here we go, Peter! 882 01:02:09,529 --> 01:02:11,970 Look at me. We're X-Force, right? 883 01:02:11,131 --> 01:02:13,266 - Yeah, we're X-Force. - We're X-Force. 884 01:02:17,203 --> 01:02:19,272 Oh, my God! What the ****? 885 01:02:19,305 --> 01:02:20,674 ****ing acidic vomit! 886 01:02:22,842 --> 01:02:25,845 Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up in my mask. 887 01:02:28,715 --> 01:02:31,151 Okay, I'm over the convoy. 888 01:02:31,184 --> 01:02:33,190 Where did the rest of the team land? 889 01:02:33,653 --> 01:02:35,321 Good news and bad news. 890 01:02:35,355 --> 01:02:38,558 Bad news is the whole team is dead. 891 01:02:38,625 --> 01:02:41,795 The good news is, I don't think anyone's gonna miss Shatterstar. 892 01:02:41,828 --> 01:02:45,650 He was a bit of a prick. Oh, but Paul! 893 01:02:45,131 --> 01:02:47,667 - Peter! - Peter, I'm gonna miss him most. 894 01:02:47,701 --> 01:02:50,203 But there is a slight chance Vanisher could make it. 895 01:02:51,304 --> 01:02:52,906 Nope, no chance. He's dead. 896 01:02:52,972 --> 01:02:54,140 The whole team? 897 01:02:54,174 --> 01:02:56,176 Only the main ones. We're still good. 898 01:02:56,209 --> 01:02:57,377 ****, you are dumb. 899 01:02:57,410 --> 01:03:00,460 Even after all this time, I still can't talk about it. 900 01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,182 Who knew these winds would be so strong? 901 01:03:02,215 --> 01:03:04,851 Everyone! Everyone on the helicopter! 902 01:03:04,884 --> 01:03:06,386 And everyone not on the helicopter! 903 01:03:15,729 --> 01:03:17,597 They're headed into the tunnel. 904 01:03:18,598 --> 01:03:22,100 I'm that kid's only hope, so sit tight and wait for my word. 905 01:03:22,736 --> 01:03:25,500 Whatever. We're gonna lose 'em. I'm dropping in. 906 01:03:25,772 --> 01:03:28,410 That's a negative, sole survivor. 907 01:03:28,740 --> 01:03:30,610 Luck is not a superpower! We are so ****ed! 908 01:03:30,677 --> 01:03:33,713 No, we most certainly are not ****ed. 909 01:03:36,850 --> 01:03:39,519 Seriously, I don't get it! 910 01:03:39,552 --> 01:03:42,220 What, you shoot luck lasers out of your eyes? 911 01:03:44,190 --> 01:03:46,260 It's just it's hard to picture. 912 01:03:46,590 --> 01:03:48,194 And certainly not very cinematic. 913 01:03:50,864 --> 01:03:52,465 I mean, luck? 914 01:03:52,532 --> 01:03:56,469 What coked out, glass pipe-sucking freakshow comic book artist... 915 01:03:56,536 --> 01:03:58,238 came up with that little chestnut? 916 01:03:58,271 --> 01:04:00,473 Probably a guy who can't draw feet! 917 01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:14,888 Once again, it all falls on my shoulders. 918 01:04:14,921 --> 01:04:17,570 It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act. Wander the Earth... 919 01:04:17,900 --> 01:04:18,825 - I'm in. - I'm sorry, what did you say? 920 01:04:18,892 --> 01:04:21,828 - I'm in. - How in the **** are you in already? 921 01:04:22,295 --> 01:04:23,563 Oh, shit. 922 01:04:24,130 --> 01:04:25,331 It's Cable. 12 o'clock. 923 01:04:25,398 --> 01:04:26,499 Okay. 924 01:04:26,566 --> 01:04:31,805 New plan. Use all of your imaginary powers to stop Cable from killing that kid. 925 01:04:31,838 --> 01:04:33,473 I'm coming up on your six. 926 01:04:41,748 --> 01:04:43,750 That gun is amazing! 927 01:04:52,926 --> 01:04:54,961 Hey! ***hole! 928 01:04:54,994 --> 01:04:56,629 Where is he? I can't see him. 929 01:04:56,663 --> 01:04:58,164 He's on top of you. 930 01:05:00,367 --> 01:05:01,801 He's going in through the back! 931 01:05:02,335 --> 01:05:03,536 Oh, God, he's inside! 932 01:05:03,603 --> 01:05:04,871 You hear yourself, right? 933 01:05:04,938 --> 01:05:06,439 Accidental double entendres! 934 01:05:06,473 --> 01:05:08,842 Russell! Russell Collins! 935 01:05:08,875 --> 01:05:10,810 Hands off that kid, John Connor! 936 01:05:16,182 --> 01:05:17,450 No, no, no! 937 01:05:21,154 --> 01:05:22,288 Shit! 938 01:05:44,210 --> 01:05:46,146 Two can play that game! 939 01:05:48,248 --> 01:05:50,830 Got it! No, I don't. 940 01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:52,152 Showtime, mama! 941 01:05:52,185 --> 01:05:53,820 Lady Luck, take the wheel. 942 01:06:31,558 --> 01:06:33,426 I'd ask who you are, but you'll be dead in a second. 943 01:06:33,460 --> 01:06:35,528 I'm Domino, and doubtful. 944 01:06:52,780 --> 01:06:53,790 Hang in there, Doms! 945 01:06:54,447 --> 01:06:56,820 This is really hard. 946 01:07:08,328 --> 01:07:09,763 And give me back my Skee-Ball token. 947 01:07:13,299 --> 01:07:14,834 - You're doing great. - X-Force. 948 01:07:16,803 --> 01:07:18,805 I guess dubstep never dies. 949 01:07:31,170 --> 01:07:33,820 You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a *****! 950 01:07:36,623 --> 01:07:37,757 That's unfortunate. 951 01:07:40,860 --> 01:07:42,262 We got no brakes! 952 01:07:42,295 --> 01:07:43,530 Figure it out! 953 01:07:47,934 --> 01:07:49,469 There's nothing I can't kill. 954 01:07:53,106 --> 01:07:56,376 Somebody knows karate. 955 01:07:58,878 --> 01:08:00,480 Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willy. 956 01:08:17,831 --> 01:08:18,832 Here we go. 957 01:08:19,899 --> 01:08:22,235 Domino, mind slowing us down? 958 01:08:22,302 --> 01:08:24,337 Here goes nothing. 959 01:08:55,268 --> 01:08:57,237 Knock, knock. 960 01:09:03,777 --> 01:09:04,778 That's my boy. 961 01:09:11,217 --> 01:09:12,385 Holy... 962 01:09:22,796 --> 01:09:24,431 I'll be first to admit... 963 01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:26,733 this did not go according to plan. 964 01:09:28,201 --> 01:09:31,705 I'll also be the first to admit that that plan was written in crayon. 965 01:09:31,738 --> 01:09:34,874 Looks like Russell found a new friend. Jelly. 966 01:09:34,908 --> 01:09:39,779 Turns out Domino's a bit of a bad***, and maybe, possibly mildly lucky. 967 01:09:39,813 --> 01:09:43,830 But Cable? That guy's in a mood. 968 01:09:43,116 --> 01:09:45,985 A mood that is about to get significantly worse. 969 01:10:09,776 --> 01:10:11,945 Something is so terribly, terribly wrong. 970 01:10:18,418 --> 01:10:19,919 Oh, God, that hurt. 971 01:10:25,291 --> 01:10:26,359 Russell. 972 01:10:29,950 --> 01:10:30,163 Russell! 973 01:10:30,797 --> 01:10:32,866 Russ, where are ya? 974 01:10:36,503 --> 01:10:38,705 Russell. Russell, you're okay! 975 01:10:38,772 --> 01:10:41,941 Oh, thank God. Oh, my God! 976 01:10:42,208 --> 01:10:43,443 Juggernaut! 977 01:10:44,678 --> 01:10:46,713 I thought that was you! 978 01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:48,848 I should've worn my white pants. 979 01:10:49,616 --> 01:10:52,619 You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan. 980 01:10:53,486 --> 01:10:56,823 Uncanny X-Men 183. Thor 411. 981 01:10:56,856 --> 01:10:58,158 X-Men Unlimited 12. 982 01:10:58,191 --> 01:11:00,360 You know, it has always been a dream of mine... 983 01:11:00,393 --> 01:11:02,295 to see my face reflected in your helmet... 984 01:11:02,328 --> 01:11:04,397 as you charge at me with murderous intent. 985 01:11:04,464 --> 01:11:05,999 I don't mean right now. 986 01:11:06,332 --> 01:11:08,368 I'm gonna rip you in half now. 987 01:11:08,401 --> 01:11:10,637 That is such a Juggernaut thing to say. 988 01:11:14,708 --> 01:11:18,745 Oh, my God! I can't feel my legs. 989 01:11:18,812 --> 01:11:19,879 I can't feel... 990 01:11:20,847 --> 01:11:22,349 Oh, no, they're right here. 991 01:11:23,183 --> 01:11:24,984 Got 'em. God, Russell. 992 01:11:25,180 --> 01:11:26,853 I have a mission. 993 01:11:27,387 --> 01:11:28,521 To get my revenge. 994 01:11:29,220 --> 01:11:31,324 I'm going to burn that headmaster alive. 995 01:11:31,358 --> 01:11:33,560 You're not the revenge type. 996 01:11:33,593 --> 01:11:34,761 Take it from a friend. 997 01:11:35,195 --> 01:11:39,320 Friend? You were sick, and I protected you. 998 01:11:39,650 --> 01:11:41,234 You said it yourself. 999 01:11:41,267 --> 01:11:44,300 "I'm not your friend. Find someone stronger." 1000 01:11:44,370 --> 01:11:45,238 So I did. 1001 01:11:46,940 --> 01:11:49,109 Russell, I couldn't protect you back then. 1002 01:11:49,175 --> 01:11:52,612 But I can now. What do you want me to say? 1003 01:11:53,213 --> 01:11:56,950 "I care about you"? 'Cause goddamn it, I care about you, Russell. 1004 01:11:57,584 --> 01:11:59,719 What's Juggernaut got that I don't have? 1005 01:11:59,753 --> 01:12:02,922 Don't you say legs! I know you're gonna say legs! 1006 01:12:03,456 --> 01:12:06,259 - Legs! - Still hurts to hear out loud! 1007 01:12:08,428 --> 01:12:11,398 What is that? That's not a real rope! 1008 01:12:11,431 --> 01:12:13,767 You get back here, young man! 1009 01:12:14,734 --> 01:12:15,869 Doms! 1010 01:12:16,236 --> 01:12:18,438 Doms, get me out of here, please. 1011 01:12:18,471 --> 01:12:21,408 Use my arms as backpack straps. 1012 01:12:23,610 --> 01:12:26,579 I think we may have found your cosmic reason for being here. 1013 01:12:26,980 --> 01:12:28,882 I'm pretty sure this isn't it. 1014 01:12:28,915 --> 01:12:30,150 X-Force. 1015 01:12:43,596 --> 01:12:45,498 No child is hopeless. 1016 01:12:45,565 --> 01:12:48,334 - Don't give up on the boy. - How could he just walk away? 1017 01:12:49,102 --> 01:12:51,338 It was the coldness in his eyes. 1018 01:12:51,838 --> 01:12:53,440 You should've heard it. 1019 01:12:55,342 --> 01:12:57,644 I guess family really is an F-word. 1020 01:12:59,112 --> 01:13:00,780 Rub my legs, Mama. 1021 01:13:00,814 --> 01:13:02,248 Why would I rub your legs? 1022 01:13:02,282 --> 01:13:04,851 Please, they hurt. I have growing pains. 1023 01:13:27,941 --> 01:13:29,843 I've never seen you without your mask before. 1024 01:13:29,876 --> 01:13:32,112 - Jesus Christ! - Looks like an avocado. 1025 01:13:32,145 --> 01:13:33,780 Your legs, though, they're cute. 1026 01:13:38,852 --> 01:13:41,388 beat me within an inch of my life. He was torturing me! 1027 01:13:41,421 --> 01:13:44,324 But all I told him was everything he wanted to know. 1028 01:13:44,357 --> 01:13:46,526 So, I'm here to help us gear up. 1029 01:13:47,260 --> 01:13:49,229 - So we can go after him without me. - No! 1030 01:13:49,662 --> 01:13:51,970 I'm doing this alone. 1031 01:13:51,164 --> 01:13:53,433 - The Juggernaut will kill you all. - Fair enough. 1032 01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:55,568 I just need a couple of hours to get some legs under me. 1033 01:13:55,602 --> 01:13:56,736 What will you do? 1034 01:13:56,770 --> 01:13:58,204 I don't care what the kid did to me. 1035 01:13:58,238 --> 01:14:00,940 I ain't letting Cable get to him, even if I have to teabag him to death. 1036 01:14:01,700 --> 01:14:02,942 It's really just a sip of tea at this point. 1037 01:14:03,900 --> 01:14:04,778 Zip it, black Black Widow! I'm flowing. 1038 01:14:04,844 --> 01:14:06,846 The first order of business is to get me in front of Cable... 1039 01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:08,848 so I can pull all the ****ing blood out of his body... 1040 01:14:08,882 --> 01:14:11,184 and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry. 1041 01:14:11,217 --> 01:14:13,190 Then, I'm gonna take his skin... 1042 01:14:13,530 --> 01:14:16,122 and stretch it out over a homemade mating drum. 1043 01:14:17,724 --> 01:14:19,292 He's standing right behind you, isn't he? 1044 01:14:27,967 --> 01:14:29,736 What in the ***? 1045 01:14:37,744 --> 01:14:39,412 I'm here to proposition you. 1046 01:14:40,914 --> 01:14:43,183 Oh, boy! He's really teeing it up, isn't he? 1047 01:14:43,249 --> 01:14:45,285 Who gets to make the first joke? 1048 01:14:49,856 --> 01:14:51,624 Wait, wait, wait! I wanna do mine over. 1049 01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:54,270 - Give us the line again. - I need your help! 1050 01:14:54,594 --> 01:14:56,930 Trust me, I'm even less happy about this than you are... 1051 01:14:56,963 --> 01:14:59,599 but you unleashed the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt! 1052 01:15:00,133 --> 01:15:02,502 I can't bring him down alone. 1053 01:15:02,535 --> 01:15:04,104 So here we are. 1054 01:15:05,438 --> 01:15:08,675 We're no longer accepting applications for X-Force, unfortunately. 1055 01:15:08,708 --> 01:15:10,176 Even if we were... 1056 01:15:10,210 --> 01:15:11,878 there's a wind advisory in effect until at least... 1057 01:15:11,945 --> 01:15:13,146 We don't have a lot of time. 1058 01:15:13,179 --> 01:15:14,981 Your friend's about to make his first kill. 1059 01:15:15,150 --> 01:15:16,516 No offense, but if you know so much... 1060 01:15:16,549 --> 01:15:18,885 why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then? 1061 01:15:19,552 --> 01:15:21,621 Or better yet, head back a little further, kill baby Hitler. 1062 01:15:21,654 --> 01:15:23,656 I use a device to slide through time. 1063 01:15:23,690 --> 01:15:26,359 The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. 1064 01:15:26,393 --> 01:15:30,196 I got two charges: one to get me here, one to get me home. 1065 01:15:31,498 --> 01:15:33,400 That's just lazy writing. 1066 01:15:33,466 --> 01:15:36,336 Your boy's gonna kill the headmaster of the orphanage tonight. 1067 01:15:36,369 --> 01:15:38,571 After that, he gets a real taste for it. 1068 01:15:38,638 --> 01:15:41,374 Like 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst, mother****er! 1069 01:15:41,408 --> 01:15:43,343 So he keeps killing... 1070 01:15:43,376 --> 01:15:46,146 and killing, and killing, and killing. 1071 01:15:46,479 --> 01:15:49,683 Until one day, he kills the wrong ****ing people. 1072 01:15:52,252 --> 01:15:53,653 My people. 1073 01:15:57,557 --> 01:15:58,725 Relax. 1074 01:15:58,758 --> 01:16:01,261 I'm retrieving something from my utility bag. 1075 01:16:01,327 --> 01:16:03,897 It's a goddamn fanny pack... 1076 01:16:03,930 --> 01:16:06,533 and you know it, you sick son of a *****! 1077 01:16:06,566 --> 01:16:08,234 The difference is night and day. 1078 01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:12,205 You remind me of my wife. 1079 01:16:12,505 --> 01:16:13,506 I'm sorry. 1080 01:16:14,207 --> 01:16:16,376 - I said, "You remind me of my wife." - No, I'm sorry that you said that... 1081 01:16:16,409 --> 01:16:19,212 while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm. 1082 01:16:19,245 --> 01:16:20,413 She always struggled. 1083 01:16:21,548 --> 01:16:23,830 But she was funny... 1084 01:16:23,116 --> 01:16:25,552 and filtered her pain through the prism of humor. 1085 01:16:26,419 --> 01:16:28,621 Something I could never master. 1086 01:16:29,556 --> 01:16:31,758 It was my fault she died. 1087 01:16:33,393 --> 01:16:36,620 It was my job to stop people like him. 1088 01:16:37,970 --> 01:16:39,650 I came close a few times. 1089 01:16:43,269 --> 01:16:44,938 He wasn't too happy about that. 1090 01:16:46,639 --> 01:16:47,807 He was trying to hurt me... 1091 01:16:47,874 --> 01:16:49,809 and he knew exactly how to do it. 1092 01:16:53,880 --> 01:16:57,217 Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand. 1093 01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:01,755 He came into my home... 1094 01:17:02,722 --> 01:17:05,592 and took the only thing that made it a home. 1095 01:17:09,796 --> 01:17:11,164 Sound familiar? 1096 01:17:12,232 --> 01:17:13,333 I'm sorry. 1097 01:17:13,900 --> 01:17:15,568 No, I'm really sorry. 1098 01:17:17,771 --> 01:17:19,939 But that isn't Russell. 1099 01:17:19,973 --> 01:17:21,941 - It doesn't have to be him. - If you knew what I knew... 1100 01:17:21,975 --> 01:17:23,943 Yeah, he's got anger issues... 1101 01:17:23,977 --> 01:17:25,512 maybe a small learning disability... 1102 01:17:25,578 --> 01:17:26,980 splash of diabetes... 1103 01:17:27,130 --> 01:17:30,830 - but nothing that can't be fixed. - If you could go back... 1104 01:17:30,116 --> 01:17:32,919 and stop the people that took your girl, would you? 1105 01:17:32,952 --> 01:17:34,688 Of course I ****ing would! 1106 01:17:35,455 --> 01:17:37,257 But I wouldn't kill a kid. 1107 01:17:37,290 --> 01:17:40,126 I'm not asking you to kill a kid! I'll kill the kid. 1108 01:17:40,160 --> 01:17:43,663 I'm asking you to save hundreds of other kids. 1109 01:17:43,697 --> 01:17:46,320 Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage. 1110 01:17:46,990 --> 01:17:48,134 And I can imagine your dead girlfriend... 1111 01:17:48,168 --> 01:17:50,437 would want you to do the right thing, wouldn't she? 1112 01:17:51,438 --> 01:17:54,700 So, what's it gonna be, handsome? 1113 01:17:54,674 --> 01:17:56,376 Give me a chance to save him. 1114 01:17:56,443 --> 01:17:57,877 - What? - You said... 1115 01:17:57,944 --> 01:17:59,546 once he kills someone, he gets a taste for it. 1116 01:17:59,612 --> 01:18:01,981 If we can get to him before that happens... 1117 01:18:02,150 --> 01:18:05,552 promise you'll give me a chance to put him on a different path. 1118 01:18:05,618 --> 01:18:06,886 Define "chance." 1119 01:18:06,953 --> 01:18:09,456 I don't know. How long does it take to save someone's soul? That's not... 1120 01:18:09,489 --> 01:18:10,857 I'll give you 30 seconds. 1121 01:18:10,890 --> 01:18:12,859 - What? No! - Best I can do. 1122 01:18:12,892 --> 01:18:14,194 Take it or leave it. 1123 01:18:24,971 --> 01:18:26,206 He's doing it! 1124 01:18:26,239 --> 01:18:27,707 Look at the little fella. He's doing it. 1125 01:18:28,241 --> 01:18:29,809 There he goes. 1126 01:18:29,843 --> 01:18:31,378 Jesus Christ! 1127 01:18:35,415 --> 01:18:36,750 30 seconds. 1128 01:18:42,122 --> 01:18:43,623 - Deal. - Deal. 1129 01:18:46,926 --> 01:18:50,363 And that is why you never eat a raw starfish. 1130 01:18:50,397 --> 01:18:52,650 It's just common sense. 1131 01:18:52,699 --> 01:18:54,167 Where the hell are we going? 1132 01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:55,502 You said it yourself. 1133 01:18:55,535 --> 01:18:58,505 Nothing can stop the Juggernaut. We need backup. 1134 01:18:58,538 --> 01:19:01,274 I will bathe in the blood of your enemies. 1135 01:19:05,612 --> 01:19:07,247 Can you turn off the music? 1136 01:19:08,248 --> 01:19:10,383 You'll do no such thing. 1137 01:19:10,417 --> 01:19:12,285 Why don't you just say it in an Indian accent? 1138 01:19:12,619 --> 01:19:13,787 What the hell are you...? 1139 01:19:13,853 --> 01:19:15,789 Once again, intolerance rears its ugly head. 1140 01:19:15,855 --> 01:19:17,557 I am so sorry. It gets better. 1141 01:19:17,590 --> 01:19:19,392 I'm not a ****ing racist, moron! 1142 01:19:19,426 --> 01:19:21,628 Tell that to Black Tom. He was like a brother to me. 1143 01:19:22,529 --> 01:19:25,598 I'm with the old white guy on this one. And that's a twist. 1144 01:19:26,660 --> 01:19:29,436 So what exactly do you do in the future, anyway? Some kind of soldier? 1145 01:19:29,803 --> 01:19:31,638 Yeah, something like that. 1146 01:19:31,705 --> 01:19:33,907 I was a soldier. Special Forces. 1147 01:19:33,940 --> 01:19:36,543 I bet 50 years from now, we're bestest buddies. 1148 01:19:36,576 --> 01:19:38,645 50 years from now, you're very dead. 1149 01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:41,470 Your entire generation ****ed this planet into a coma. 1150 01:19:41,810 --> 01:19:42,820 Boom! 1151 01:19:42,782 --> 01:19:44,500 Spoiler alert. 1152 01:19:45,485 --> 01:19:46,619 Planets. 1153 01:19:46,653 --> 01:19:48,154 Next time, Uber. 1154 01:19:48,221 --> 01:19:49,589 Here's a spoiler alert. 1155 01:19:50,757 --> 01:19:52,559 You're not a ****ing hero. 1156 01:19:52,926 --> 01:19:56,463 You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a *** toy. 1157 01:19:56,830 --> 01:19:59,432 Well, I got news for you. My heart is in the right place. 1158 01:19:59,466 --> 01:20:01,000 Russell's not gonna kill anyone. 1159 01:20:01,670 --> 01:20:03,403 Because of me, he's gonna know what real love looks like. 1160 01:20:03,436 --> 01:20:07,107 Because of you, I'll always know what a grown man with baby balls looks like. 1161 01:20:07,140 --> 01:20:09,642 I'm a grower, not a shower. 1162 01:20:09,676 --> 01:20:10,977 I should've finished college. 1163 01:20:11,110 --> 01:20:12,245 Right here! 1164 01:20:30,363 --> 01:20:32,320 I made mistakes! 1165 01:20:32,432 --> 01:20:34,300 I wanna take them back! 1166 01:20:34,334 --> 01:20:37,303 You trusted me. I took that trust... 1167 01:20:37,337 --> 01:20:40,206 and turned it into a glory hole in an airport bathroom. 1168 01:20:40,273 --> 01:20:42,976 The one in Minneapolis. You know the one. 1169 01:20:43,943 --> 01:20:45,450 Colossus! 1170 01:20:45,111 --> 01:20:47,447 I wouldn't ask for your help unless it was life or death! 1171 01:20:47,480 --> 01:20:49,516 That kid needs our help! 1172 01:20:49,549 --> 01:20:51,618 I know you're listening! 1173 01:20:51,651 --> 01:20:54,220 He's teamed up with the Juggernaut! The Juggernaut! 1174 01:20:54,287 --> 01:20:56,220 That's like my favorite Marvel character ever, 1175 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,390 but you should never meet your heroes... 1176 01:21:02,962 --> 01:21:04,664 and causes nothing but problems! 1177 01:21:04,698 --> 01:21:06,332 - Hi, Wade! - Hi, Yukio! 1178 01:21:06,366 --> 01:21:08,301 - Please don't. - You guys make a super cute couple. 1179 01:21:08,334 --> 01:21:10,737 Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah! 1180 01:21:10,804 --> 01:21:14,908 Colossus! Look, I don't deserve your friendship or your help. 1181 01:21:14,974 --> 01:21:16,810 But this kid does. 1182 01:21:16,843 --> 01:21:19,546 And I'm not gonna bail on him like everyone else. 1183 01:21:21,314 --> 01:21:23,249 Oh, come on! 1184 01:21:27,487 --> 01:21:30,223 Any chance Pigeon Wings is available? 1185 01:21:30,590 --> 01:21:33,260 That's just fine! That's fine! 1186 01:21:33,590 --> 01:21:34,594 No! You know what? 1187 01:21:34,661 --> 01:21:37,497 Doing the right thing is sometimes messy... 1188 01:21:37,530 --> 01:21:40,500 and ****ed up, and not particularly convenient! 1189 01:21:40,867 --> 01:21:44,170 So stay here in Château de Virgin... 1190 01:21:44,204 --> 01:21:46,339 while we go get our **** on! 1191 01:21:49,342 --> 01:21:50,710 You're doing great. 1192 01:21:56,349 --> 01:21:59,619 So you wear that helmet because your brother tries to read your mind? 1193 01:21:59,686 --> 01:22:02,922 Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even-steven. 1194 01:22:02,956 --> 01:22:05,425 Someone's coming. It's Russell, sir. 1195 01:22:05,458 --> 01:22:06,926 He's not alone. 1196 01:22:07,460 --> 01:22:09,195 Secure the children. 1197 01:22:13,733 --> 01:22:16,360 What do you say we go **** some shit up? 1198 01:22:16,569 --> 01:22:20,407 "Let's **** some shit up" is my legal middle name. 1199 01:22:23,743 --> 01:22:26,379 Watch my back. I've got the old man. 1200 01:22:26,413 --> 01:22:28,715 Amen, brother. 1201 01:22:34,487 --> 01:22:36,122 Time to make the chimichangas. 1202 01:22:36,156 --> 01:22:37,791 30 seconds. 1203 01:22:38,425 --> 01:22:40,560 I finally know why I'm here. 1204 01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:42,929 I was raised in this place. 1205 01:22:42,962 --> 01:22:45,231 Well, not raised. I was tortured. 1206 01:22:45,265 --> 01:22:48,134 Wow! It's your cosmic reason for being here. 1207 01:22:48,168 --> 01:22:49,502 - Shall we? - This is gonna be fun. 1208 01:22:49,569 --> 01:22:50,737 Yeah! 1209 01:22:50,770 --> 01:22:52,272 Hey! Been meaning to ask you... 1210 01:22:52,305 --> 01:22:55,308 what's with the creepy, dirty hobo bear? 1211 01:22:56,900 --> 01:22:59,346 It's not dirt. It's the blood of my dead daughter. 1212 01:23:01,681 --> 01:23:03,583 I have a gluten sensitivity. 1213 01:23:03,616 --> 01:23:05,118 So one glass of wine, I just... 1214 01:23:06,486 --> 01:23:07,487 Yeah. 1215 01:23:11,157 --> 01:23:14,127 Wish we could head back in time, and I could take all that back. 1216 01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:15,495 We should just cue the music. 1217 01:23:40,687 --> 01:23:43,390 Welcome home, Russell. We missed you. 1218 01:23:44,624 --> 01:23:45,725 Russell! 1219 01:23:45,792 --> 01:23:48,128 You don't need to do this! Let's talk! 1220 01:23:49,162 --> 01:23:50,397 Why are you dressed like the Unabomber? 1221 01:23:54,734 --> 01:23:55,835 That's why! 1222 01:23:55,869 --> 01:23:56,970 Told you this little ****er's too far gone. 1223 01:23:57,300 --> 01:23:59,572 Zip it, Thanos! We have a deal and you ****... 1224 01:24:00,173 --> 01:24:01,174 Hey! 1225 01:24:01,708 --> 01:24:04,844 I'm gonna shove that cab driver right up your ***. 1226 01:24:05,979 --> 01:24:08,248 My body and my hands are so soft. 1227 01:24:08,314 --> 01:24:11,217 - You should probably head back to the car. - I think I'll head back to the car. 1228 01:24:12,352 --> 01:24:15,210 It works best when you pull the trigger. 1229 01:24:17,924 --> 01:24:19,225 That gun is amazing! 1230 01:24:20,560 --> 01:24:21,761 Say it! 1231 01:24:23,930 --> 01:24:26,933 You are an abomination! 1232 01:24:34,274 --> 01:24:37,577 Now, I'm gonna shove the red guy up the old guy. 1233 01:24:37,610 --> 01:24:40,460 I believe him! Every man for themselves! 1234 01:24:44,417 --> 01:24:45,518 Gotcha! 1235 01:24:46,286 --> 01:24:47,454 Beat it, midget! 1236 01:24:50,457 --> 01:24:53,193 Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low! 1237 01:24:53,593 --> 01:24:54,694 Shit ****! 1238 01:25:08,575 --> 01:25:10,143 Come here, beautiful. 1239 01:25:12,278 --> 01:25:13,380 Say it! 1240 01:26:02,362 --> 01:26:03,496 You came for me. 1241 01:26:03,530 --> 01:26:07,267 I'm not giving up on you, and you are not giving up on that boy. 1242 01:26:07,300 --> 01:26:09,269 Who says that rules aren't meant to be broken? 1243 01:26:09,302 --> 01:26:11,671 It's time to fight dirty. 1244 01:26:11,705 --> 01:26:13,173 Time to sweep the leg, Johnny. 1245 01:26:13,206 --> 01:26:15,942 Hey! Pick on someone your own size! 1246 01:26:15,975 --> 01:26:19,679 That's such a you thing to say! Go get him, tiger! 1247 01:26:20,113 --> 01:26:21,715 Big CGI fight coming up! 1248 01:26:45,380 --> 01:26:46,406 He's doing great. 1249 01:26:46,473 --> 01:26:47,674 Say it! 1250 01:26:51,845 --> 01:26:53,246 - Russell. - Bingo! 1251 01:27:05,258 --> 01:27:07,227 That's right! I'm fighting dirty! 1252 01:27:08,395 --> 01:27:10,263 - Oh, great! - There they are! Those freaks! 1253 01:27:10,330 --> 01:27:12,365 A bunch of armed pedophiles in nursing shoes. 1254 01:27:12,866 --> 01:27:14,334 Can I have one of those guns? 1255 01:27:15,100 --> 01:27:16,770 - No. - That's fine. 1256 01:27:16,836 --> 01:27:18,772 Get off this property, mutant scum! 1257 01:27:18,838 --> 01:27:19,839 I'm just gonna use this brick. 1258 01:27:20,573 --> 01:27:21,574 Maximum effort. 1259 01:27:27,714 --> 01:27:29,449 Who says you can't go home again? 1260 01:27:46,599 --> 01:27:47,600 Yeah! 1261 01:27:49,803 --> 01:27:51,137 Say it. 1262 01:27:51,538 --> 01:27:54,574 Say what you said every time you tortured me! 1263 01:27:55,108 --> 01:27:56,242 Say it! 1264 01:27:56,276 --> 01:27:59,212 Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand! 1265 01:28:00,413 --> 01:28:02,480 Blessed are the wicked... 1266 01:28:02,582 --> 01:28:03,783 who are healed... 1267 01:28:04,284 --> 01:28:05,785 by my hand. 1268 01:28:23,837 --> 01:28:26,106 You commie mother****er! 1269 01:28:52,632 --> 01:28:54,334 Oh, my God. Did you feel that, too? 1270 01:28:55,201 --> 01:28:57,437 Only best buddies execute pedophiles together. 1271 01:29:00,340 --> 01:29:02,676 You got 30 seconds, you jabbering butt plug! 1272 01:29:02,709 --> 01:29:03,943 Now we're getting it. 1273 01:29:08,648 --> 01:29:10,850 I need a bus to get you all out of here. 1274 01:29:16,189 --> 01:29:17,223 Orphans. 1275 01:29:18,391 --> 01:29:19,626 Oh, geez. 1276 01:29:21,270 --> 01:29:23,730 It's time to burn for what you've done! 1277 01:29:23,797 --> 01:29:26,299 A child should not be burdened with such power! 1278 01:29:35,750 --> 01:29:36,176 Russell! Wait! 1279 01:29:50,690 --> 01:29:52,826 Wait! He hasn't killed anyone yet! 1280 01:29:52,859 --> 01:29:54,861 - What more do you need to see? - Don't you ****ing dare! 1281 01:29:54,894 --> 01:29:56,960 He's just a kid! 1282 01:29:56,162 --> 01:29:58,310 Tick, tock. Meter's running! 1283 01:30:28,528 --> 01:30:31,164 - I told you! Leave me alone! - Come on! 1284 01:30:31,698 --> 01:30:32,832 Listen to me! 1285 01:30:56,656 --> 01:30:59,225 That's how we do it in Mother Russia. 1286 01:31:01,461 --> 01:31:03,997 They say millennials are the hardest to reach. 1287 01:31:05,365 --> 01:31:08,568 Oh, no. You're doing amazing. 1288 01:31:09,903 --> 01:31:12,405 Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta! 1289 01:31:12,839 --> 01:31:14,674 Go home, Wade! 1290 01:31:14,708 --> 01:31:16,543 You're ruining everything! 1291 01:31:21,881 --> 01:31:23,216 I'm getting good at this shit. 1292 01:31:23,249 --> 01:31:24,317 Go, go, go! 1293 01:31:27,821 --> 01:31:29,756 He dies tonight, Wade. 1294 01:31:29,823 --> 01:31:31,358 You can't stop me! 1295 01:31:32,325 --> 01:31:34,194 He even runs like a ****ing pervert. 1296 01:31:34,227 --> 01:31:36,996 Like an online predator who lost his laptop. 1297 01:31:38,398 --> 01:31:39,899 There's one bullet left in that gun. 1298 01:31:39,933 --> 01:31:41,935 Wait, wait, wait! Please, just give me a second! 1299 01:31:42,100 --> 01:31:43,436 I got this. 1300 01:31:43,503 --> 01:31:45,739 - Russell! - Stay back! Go home, Wade! 1301 01:31:45,772 --> 01:31:47,907 Let's talk. It doesn't have to go this way! 1302 01:31:48,508 --> 01:31:49,776 That piece of shit... 1303 01:31:50,210 --> 01:31:51,945 he deserves to die for what he did to you. 1304 01:31:52,120 --> 01:31:55,382 He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others. 1305 01:31:56,249 --> 01:31:58,510 But if you kill him, he wins. 1306 01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:01,588 You become everything he says you are, but worse. 1307 01:32:02,220 --> 01:32:03,456 You're just a kid. 1308 01:32:04,570 --> 01:32:05,792 You don't wanna hurt anyone. 1309 01:32:05,859 --> 01:32:07,930 How do you know what I want? 1310 01:32:07,127 --> 01:32:08,762 Because I've been inside you. 1311 01:32:09,429 --> 01:32:10,730 That came out wrong. 1312 01:32:11,364 --> 01:32:13,660 I've been inside your shoes. 1313 01:32:13,990 --> 01:32:14,968 Which is also off-putting. 1314 01:32:15,350 --> 01:32:16,469 It's not a great analogy. 1315 01:32:16,536 --> 01:32:17,937 The point is... 1316 01:32:18,405 --> 01:32:20,106 there are people... 1317 01:32:20,140 --> 01:32:23,209 There are people in this ****ing world... 1318 01:32:23,243 --> 01:32:25,945 besides him, who will treat you right. 1319 01:32:25,979 --> 01:32:28,615 It isn't too late. Don't do it. 1320 01:32:34,154 --> 01:32:36,556 I never should've left you there. 1321 01:32:38,291 --> 01:32:40,160 I never should've left you in that prison. 1322 01:32:47,267 --> 01:32:48,568 I can't trust you. 1323 01:32:50,270 --> 01:32:52,639 I can't trust anybody! 1324 01:33:01,848 --> 01:33:03,183 Wonderful kid. 1325 01:33:03,249 --> 01:33:04,918 You can't stop me, Wade! 1326 01:33:07,153 --> 01:33:09,422 I got one more idea. 1327 01:33:09,456 --> 01:33:12,359 It's just a really bad one, even for me. 1328 01:33:12,425 --> 01:33:13,626 Wade, what are you doing? 1329 01:33:13,660 --> 01:33:15,295 All right. This is for all the marbles, kid! 1330 01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:17,797 You're gonna kill someone today... 1331 01:33:18,198 --> 01:33:19,632 Blessed are the wicked... 1332 01:33:19,666 --> 01:33:21,601 ...then it's gotta be me. 1333 01:33:22,669 --> 01:33:24,604 ...who are healed by my hand! 1334 01:33:27,707 --> 01:33:30,143 **** this! 1335 01:34:30,870 --> 01:34:33,840 Tell me they got that in slow motion. 1336 01:34:38,845 --> 01:34:40,347 That's not good. 1337 01:34:41,915 --> 01:34:43,350 No, sir. 1338 01:34:50,957 --> 01:34:53,893 You sacrificed yourself for me. 1339 01:34:54,294 --> 01:34:55,462 Yeah. 1340 01:34:55,528 --> 01:34:57,731 And it was the best thing I ever did. 1341 01:34:59,699 --> 01:35:01,801 I told you I care about you. 1342 01:35:01,868 --> 01:35:03,603 You're a good kid, Russell. 1343 01:35:05,238 --> 01:35:06,239 Hey. 1344 01:35:07,707 --> 01:35:09,420 The bear. 1345 01:35:09,750 --> 01:35:10,377 It worked. 1346 01:35:17,317 --> 01:35:18,952 Because of you. 1347 01:35:18,985 --> 01:35:21,287 No, Wade, because of you. 1348 01:35:22,155 --> 01:35:24,257 Stop, stop, stop! 1349 01:35:24,290 --> 01:35:25,458 Stop! 1350 01:35:26,626 --> 01:35:29,162 Just let it happen, okay? 1351 01:35:29,629 --> 01:35:32,565 I guess my heart was finally in the right place. 1352 01:35:33,400 --> 01:35:35,802 That riddle is so ****ed up. 1353 01:35:40,607 --> 01:35:43,900 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 1354 01:35:43,760 --> 01:35:44,244 Don't be. Don't be. 1355 01:35:44,277 --> 01:35:46,120 I've been trying to make this happen for a while. 1356 01:35:46,680 --> 01:35:48,348 Please, just don't leave me. 1357 01:35:48,415 --> 01:35:50,160 I don't wanna die without an audience. 1358 01:35:50,830 --> 01:35:51,685 We are not going anywhere. 1359 01:35:51,751 --> 01:35:53,953 Oh, God, I hope the Academy is watching. 1360 01:35:53,987 --> 01:35:55,210 Just rest, okay? 1361 01:35:56,856 --> 01:35:57,957 Papa. 1362 01:36:00,160 --> 01:36:02,128 Papa, can you hear me? 1363 01:36:04,364 --> 01:36:10,370 Papa, can you find me in the night? 1364 01:36:31,658 --> 01:36:32,892 Before I go... 1365 01:36:33,460 --> 01:36:35,161 Sorry, I got a bit more in me. 1366 01:36:35,729 --> 01:36:36,996 Domino. 1367 01:36:37,300 --> 01:36:41,534 I want you to have my Adventure Time watch. 1368 01:36:44,137 --> 01:36:47,700 Turns out that I'm the lucky one. 1369 01:36:47,707 --> 01:36:48,708 Thank you. 1370 01:36:50,210 --> 01:36:53,146 Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. 1371 01:36:53,747 --> 01:36:55,849 It has been a pleasure. 1372 01:36:57,484 --> 01:37:00,186 - Hi, Yukio. - Hi, Wade! 1373 01:37:02,322 --> 01:37:03,323 And you... 1374 01:37:03,857 --> 01:37:04,991 Chrome Bone. 1375 01:37:05,892 --> 01:37:08,261 I haven't always been the best friend to you. 1376 01:37:08,862 --> 01:37:11,231 But you've always been that to me. 1377 01:37:11,264 --> 01:37:12,565 So thank you. 1378 01:37:14,734 --> 01:37:16,336 Say "****" for me. 1379 01:37:17,170 --> 01:37:20,106 Just once. Come on, we'll do it together. It's no big deal. 1380 01:37:20,173 --> 01:37:21,875 Here we go. One, two, three. 1381 01:37:23,243 --> 01:37:24,377 ****. 1382 01:37:24,411 --> 01:37:27,447 Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth. 1383 01:37:29,820 --> 01:37:30,917 And you, Cable. 1384 01:37:32,218 --> 01:37:35,889 You get back to your family. You tell 'em Wade says hi. 1385 01:37:36,756 --> 01:37:39,959 And promise me. Promise me one thing. 1386 01:37:40,427 --> 01:37:41,861 That you'll start judging people... 1387 01:37:41,895 --> 01:37:45,198 not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. 1388 01:37:45,932 --> 01:37:47,534 - Jesus. - R-Dog? 1389 01:37:48,735 --> 01:37:50,637 There you are. Hey! 1390 01:37:51,237 --> 01:37:52,972 You're a superhero now, bubba. 1391 01:37:54,474 --> 01:37:55,575 Look. 1392 01:37:55,875 --> 01:37:58,478 Family is not an F-word. 1393 01:37:59,245 --> 01:38:00,580 All right? 1394 01:38:00,613 --> 01:38:02,315 There's one out there for you. 1395 01:38:03,830 --> 01:38:04,784 Just keep looking, okay? 1396 01:38:08,288 --> 01:38:11,570 Guys, for a second there... 1397 01:38:11,891 --> 01:38:14,561 we made a pretty good team. 1398 01:38:29,750 --> 01:38:31,770 It's so hard to go. 1399 01:38:32,579 --> 01:38:34,948 I just love being around you guys so much. 1400 01:38:36,160 --> 01:38:37,283 So, so much. 1401 01:38:39,419 --> 01:38:41,588 No, I can feel it now. Here it comes, yeah. 1402 01:38:42,288 --> 01:38:46,159 I feel the soul exiting the husk. 1403 01:38:46,192 --> 01:38:47,193 Yeah. 1404 01:38:48,995 --> 01:38:50,830 Can you see it? 1405 01:38:51,531 --> 01:38:53,700 Do you see that beautiful bright light? 1406 01:38:55,168 --> 01:38:56,336 There it is. 1407 01:39:02,609 --> 01:39:05,845 That's the sun. Don't stare directly into that. 1408 01:39:05,879 --> 01:39:07,881 I just have a few final words. 1409 01:39:09,482 --> 01:39:10,850 Woodpecker. 1410 01:39:11,651 --> 01:39:12,986 Gingivitis. 1411 01:39:15,210 --> 01:39:16,389 Codswallop. 1412 01:39:20,727 --> 01:39:22,696 Do You Want to Build a Snowman? 1413 01:40:37,704 --> 01:40:38,972 Sorry I'm late. 1414 01:40:39,390 --> 01:40:42,420 There was a bunch of handicapable children who were stuck in a tree. 1415 01:40:42,750 --> 01:40:43,276 - No. - No. 1416 01:40:44,377 --> 01:40:47,470 - But I did have to help a kid. - Yeah. 1417 01:40:47,480 --> 01:40:49,416 - He's got a terrible name. - It's just awful. 1418 01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:50,450 I tried to tell him. 1419 01:40:52,786 --> 01:40:54,220 Is this heaven? 1420 01:40:55,880 --> 01:40:56,289 It is now. 1421 01:40:59,759 --> 01:41:01,628 I am so sorry. 1422 01:41:02,462 --> 01:41:03,797 It's okay. 1423 01:41:23,650 --> 01:41:25,518 I missed you so much. 1424 01:41:31,124 --> 01:41:32,792 What is it? What's wrong? 1425 01:41:34,694 --> 01:41:36,196 It's not time. 1426 01:41:36,830 --> 01:41:38,832 What do you mean it's not time? 1427 01:41:38,865 --> 01:41:40,500 I'm here, I made it. 1428 01:41:40,533 --> 01:41:42,268 - You can't stay. - No, no, no. 1429 01:41:42,302 --> 01:41:44,971 I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere without you. 1430 01:41:45,400 --> 01:41:46,500 It's okay. 1431 01:41:46,506 --> 01:41:49,342 There's a time for us. It's just not now. 1432 01:41:50,343 --> 01:41:52,812 - They need you. - Who? 1433 01:41:54,848 --> 01:41:56,149 Your F-word. 1434 01:41:57,384 --> 01:41:58,385 Why? 1435 01:41:58,785 --> 01:42:00,553 You'll find out. 1436 01:42:01,521 --> 01:42:03,456 It's all right. I'll be here. 1437 01:42:04,724 --> 01:42:05,992 I love you. 1438 01:42:08,495 --> 01:42:10,897 I know. I love you, too. 1439 01:42:11,664 --> 01:42:12,665 Now, go. 1440 01:42:13,967 --> 01:42:15,969 Go on. Go, get out of here. 1441 01:42:17,300 --> 01:42:18,400 Go. 1442 01:42:20,807 --> 01:42:21,808 Hey! 1443 01:42:24,811 --> 01:42:26,980 Kiss me like you miss me, Red. 1444 01:42:27,580 --> 01:42:28,715 Well, come here. 1445 01:42:39,993 --> 01:42:42,162 - Time to make the chimichangas. - 30 seconds. 1446 01:42:42,195 --> 01:42:43,430 Hey. Been meaning to ask you... 1447 01:42:43,496 --> 01:42:45,999 what's with the creepy, dirty hobo bear? 1448 01:42:46,320 --> 01:42:47,767 It's my daughter's teddy bear. 1449 01:42:48,234 --> 01:42:49,436 Her name's Hope. 1450 01:42:51,771 --> 01:42:53,707 What are you doing? 1451 01:42:53,740 --> 01:42:55,342 Somebody swiped right. 1452 01:43:08,121 --> 01:43:10,523 Tell me they got that in slow motion. 1453 01:43:13,860 --> 01:43:15,729 You sacrificed yourself for me. 1454 01:43:15,762 --> 01:43:17,263 It would seem I... 1455 01:43:21,768 --> 01:43:24,104 Genuine, high-grade lead. 1456 01:43:26,390 --> 01:43:29,750 You time-sliding son of a *****! 1457 01:43:29,109 --> 01:43:30,710 You did this for me? 1458 01:43:32,579 --> 01:43:35,810 Wait. You can't go back. 1459 01:43:35,715 --> 01:43:38,785 You used the last of your fuel. What about your girl, your wife? 1460 01:43:38,818 --> 01:43:42,880 Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you. 1461 01:43:43,556 --> 01:43:45,992 No, I'm gonna stick around for a while... 1462 01:43:46,590 --> 01:43:49,620 and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion. 1463 01:43:49,763 --> 01:43:52,632 No. You did it for me. 1464 01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:54,834 No, I didn't. 1465 01:43:54,901 --> 01:43:56,302 - You did. - I really didn't. 1466 01:43:56,336 --> 01:43:58,171 - Pretty sure you did. - No, I'm positive I didn't. 1467 01:43:58,238 --> 01:44:00,600 Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay? 1468 01:44:00,730 --> 01:44:02,776 Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me. 1469 01:44:02,809 --> 01:44:05,278 I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me. 1470 01:44:05,679 --> 01:44:06,813 Say it again. 1471 01:44:06,846 --> 01:44:08,448 - He did it for me. - Jesus. 1472 01:44:08,481 --> 01:44:10,417 - We must get the collar off. - Forget it. It's no use. 1473 01:44:10,450 --> 01:44:12,252 These collars don't just come off. 1474 01:44:12,285 --> 01:44:13,286 Wade. 1475 01:44:13,820 --> 01:44:15,455 I have an idea. 1476 01:44:15,789 --> 01:44:17,924 No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please! 1477 01:44:17,957 --> 01:44:20,360 I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just... 1478 01:44:20,427 --> 01:44:23,530 Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword. 1479 01:44:24,531 --> 01:44:25,932 We need the code. 1480 01:44:25,965 --> 01:44:27,867 Try seven? 1481 01:44:27,934 --> 01:44:29,502 Settle down, Captain Lucky. 1482 01:44:29,536 --> 01:44:31,400 It's not gonna be one number. 1483 01:44:31,370 --> 01:44:32,138 God, that's lazy writing. 1484 01:44:33,139 --> 01:44:34,474 I still got it. 1485 01:44:37,510 --> 01:44:39,479 Put that back in your prison wallet. 1486 01:44:41,181 --> 01:44:43,116 I don't know how to thank you. 1487 01:44:43,149 --> 01:44:44,651 But I do know how to hug you. 1488 01:44:45,118 --> 01:44:46,386 - No. - Yes. 1489 01:44:46,453 --> 01:44:47,887 Here we go. Bring it in. 1490 01:44:47,954 --> 01:44:49,550 Come on. 1491 01:44:49,122 --> 01:44:50,523 Pelvis to pelvis. 1492 01:44:50,557 --> 01:44:51,958 Let's go tip to tip. 1493 01:44:51,991 --> 01:44:54,494 There we go. The kids call this docking. 1494 01:44:59,799 --> 01:45:01,568 - Yeah, yeah. - No need to go full Yentl. 1495 01:45:01,634 --> 01:45:04,404 Gonna pretend like that never happened. 1496 01:45:04,471 --> 01:45:06,373 Let's go home, Russell. 1497 01:45:10,430 --> 01:45:14,414 All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in hell with the boy! 1498 01:45:14,481 --> 01:45:17,550 Your souls are beyond redemption! 1499 01:45:17,584 --> 01:45:18,885 Let's see your soul, perv! 1500 01:45:18,918 --> 01:45:21,755 No, no! No! No more! We're better than that! 1501 01:45:21,821 --> 01:45:23,230 We're better than him! 1502 01:45:23,560 --> 01:45:25,759 No more senseless violence! No more bloodshed! 1503 01:45:25,825 --> 01:45:27,394 We'll let karma take care of him. 1504 01:45:27,427 --> 01:45:30,430 The day of reckoning is here! 1505 01:45:39,773 --> 01:45:41,775 I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great. 1506 01:45:43,176 --> 01:45:44,778 Courage, mother****ers! 1507 01:45:44,844 --> 01:45:46,112 And karma, mother****er. 1508 01:45:46,179 --> 01:45:47,847 I could hear you coming the last 30 seconds. 1509 01:45:47,881 --> 01:45:49,883 I could barely keep a straight face. 1510 01:45:49,916 --> 01:45:51,751 I want some more. 1511 01:45:51,785 --> 01:45:53,520 I bet you do, Brown Panther. 1512 01:45:53,553 --> 01:45:56,556 We should leave before ****ernaut wakes up. 1513 01:45:57,123 --> 01:45:59,392 Good call. You guys coming with us? 1514 01:45:59,426 --> 01:46:01,394 No, we'll get the kids back to the mansion. 1515 01:46:01,428 --> 01:46:02,729 Besides, we're X-Men. 1516 01:46:03,290 --> 01:46:05,699 No, you're X-People. 1517 01:46:05,732 --> 01:46:07,670 You're exhausting. 1518 01:46:07,100 --> 01:46:09,690 I see what you did there. Puns. 1519 01:46:09,602 --> 01:46:11,805 - Bye, Wade! - Bye, Yukio! 1520 01:46:14,441 --> 01:46:16,609 What do you get when you take eight feet of chrome... 1521 01:46:16,643 --> 01:46:17,811 one pinch of courage... 1522 01:46:17,877 --> 01:46:19,112 a cup of good luck... 1523 01:46:19,145 --> 01:46:20,714 a dab of racism... 1524 01:46:20,747 --> 01:46:21,948 a splash of diabetes... 1525 01:46:21,981 --> 01:46:24,317 and a wheelbarrow full of stage four cancer? 1526 01:46:24,751 --> 01:46:26,920 Answer: a family. 1527 01:46:27,487 --> 01:46:30,623 See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was. 1528 01:46:30,657 --> 01:46:31,991 If there's anything you take away today... 1529 01:46:32,580 --> 01:46:35,228 other than the need to Google, "What the **** is dubstep?"... 1530 01:46:35,261 --> 01:46:38,640 it's that we all need to belong to someone. 1531 01:48:35,810 --> 01:48:38,885 How something so small generates enough energy to reverse time is... 1532 01:48:38,918 --> 01:48:43,123 Just fix it, Eleven, or I'll take it to the Genius Bar. 1533 01:48:43,189 --> 01:48:44,391 Cable's gonna kill you when he finds out. 1534 01:48:44,424 --> 01:48:45,525 Never heard of him. 1535 01:48:45,558 --> 01:48:46,893 Why do you think I'm helping him? 1536 01:48:48,261 --> 01:48:52,565 The Lord works in mysterious ways, don't I? A good day. 1537 01:48:53,566 --> 01:48:54,567 Bye, Wade! 1538 01:48:55,680 --> 01:48:56,690 Bye, Yukio! 1539 01:48:57,404 --> 01:48:59,606 That was probably a bad idea. 1540 01:48:59,939 --> 01:49:01,740 What have we done? 1541 01:49:19,492 --> 01:49:21,494 I hope we sharpened the cream cheese spreader. 1542 01:49:31,671 --> 01:49:33,139 I'll be right back! 1543 01:49:35,108 --> 01:49:37,644 We're definitely naming our kid Cher! 1544 01:49:40,847 --> 01:49:42,248 Peter! 1545 01:49:42,282 --> 01:49:46,190 - X-Force! - Walk away! Just walk away! 1546 01:49:46,920 --> 01:49:49,856 - But we're X-Force! - Nope! We're not, there's no X-Force! 1547 01:49:49,923 --> 01:49:52,759 All right, well, this has been pretty scary! 1548 01:49:52,792 --> 01:49:55,528 Go home, Sugarbear. Go home. 1549 01:49:55,595 --> 01:49:58,765 Okay. Will you give Domino my email? 1550 01:50:08,800 --> 01:50:09,809 Wade, is that you? 1551 01:50:12,479 --> 01:50:14,848 I guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up. 1552 01:50:21,554 --> 01:50:26,726 Hey! It's me! Don't scratch! Just cleaning up the timelines! 1553 01:50:31,664 --> 01:50:32,966 Love you! 1554 01:50:35,402 --> 01:50:36,703 Welcome to the big leagues, kid. 1555 01:50:44,210 --> 01:50:46,460 You're welcome, Canada.