1 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,150 [Deadpool scatting along] ♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪ 2 00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:17,717 ♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪ 3 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:19,452 ♪ Tan tan ta ♪ 4 00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:20,854 ♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪ 5 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,855 ♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪ 6 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,490 - ♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪ - [♪ fanfare concludes] 7 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,960 [laughs] That logo music just gets you pumped. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,161 - [♪ gentle music playing] - Right? 9 00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:31,998 I’m sorry. I just, I’m excited to be here. It’s been a while. 10 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:32,899 You know, for a long time, 11 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,135 I wasn’t sure I’d ever be back. 12 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:35,902 Disney bought Fox, 13 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,971 there was a whole boring rights issue, 14 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:38,772 blabbity-blabbity-blah. 15 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,341 But then, it turned out, they wanted me. 16 00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:44,744 The one guy who shouldn’t even have his own movie, 17 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,112 much less a franchise. 18 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:49,149 [laughs] Marvel’s so stupid. 19 00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,117 Look, we know the title of this thing. 20 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,186 So, I know what you’re wondering. 21 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,540 How are we gonna do this 22 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:57,857 without dishonoring Logan’s memory? 23 00:00:57,857 --> 00:00:59,926 And I’ll tell you how. 24 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:00,760 We’re not. 25 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,429 [♪ romantic music plays, The Platters "Only You"] 26 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,131 I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. 27 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:06,633 Wolverine is not dead. 28 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:10,737 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story. 29 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,504 But that’s not how 30 00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:13,606 regenerative healing factors work. 31 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:14,808 You think I wanna be out here 32 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,643 in beautiful downtown North Dakota, 33 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:20,460 digging up the one and only Wolverine? No, thank you. 34 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:22,816 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 35 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,651 He may not be living his best life, 36 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,530 but he sure as hell ain’t 37 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:29,422 - dead. - [metal clanks] 38 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,827 [crow cawing in distance] 39 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,362 Bingo. 40 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,197 Yahtzee. 41 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:39,699 [sighs] 42 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:43,336 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 43 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,907 Damn it! 44 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:51,745 - Son of a *****! - [metal clangs] 45 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,800 You... 46 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,116 - [shovel snaps] - [yelling] 47 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:59,520 Christ. Mother****er! 48 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,887 - My world is ****... - [♪ song stops] 49 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,900 [laughs, snorts] That was weird. 50 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:04,824 I’m much calmer now. 51 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:06,526 [♪ The Platter "Only You" resumes playing] 52 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:09,462 Look, I’m not a man of science. 53 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,966 But you seem incredibly passed away. 54 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,100 [flies buzzing] 55 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,136 [sighs] 56 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:16,870 But it’s good to see ya. 57 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:20,807 I gotta be honest, I’ve always wanted to ride with you, Log. 58 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:21,741 You and me getting into it. 59 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:25,712 Deadpool and Wolverine just ****in’ shit up. 60 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:29,616 Can you imagine the fun, the chaos... 61 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,510 the residuals? 62 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:32,185 [in Australian accent] "G’day, mate. 63 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,454 "There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster 64 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,900 "than a big bag of Marvel cash." 65 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,727 [chuckles, in normal tone] Me too, Hugh. 66 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,960 But, no. No, no, no. 67 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,734 [groans] You had to get all noble and die for real. 68 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,360 Goddamn it! 69 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,873 I could really use your help right now. 70 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,142 [electrical whirring] 71 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,283 [♪ tense music playing] 72 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,852 Wait! 73 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,954 I’m warning you, I’m not alone. 74 00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,556 Wade Winston Wilson, 75 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:12,659 you are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority... 76 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,526 [Deadpool sniffs] Oof. 77 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,794 ...for too many crimes to list. 78 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:15,995 - Come out... - [Deadpool groans] 79 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,630 ...and we’ll extend you the courtesy 80 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,330 - of taking you in one piece. - Death by day-player. 81 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,134 Last chance. 82 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:21,901 Throw out your weapons 83 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,970 - and come out peacefully. - [Deadpool sighs] 84 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,172 [Deadpool] I’m not gonna give you my weapons, 85 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,775 but I promise not to use them. 86 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,611 There are two hundred and six bones in the human body. 87 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,747 Two hundred and seven if I’m watching Gossip Girl. 88 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,215 [♪ pop music playing, *NSYNC "Bye Bye Bye"] 89 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,650 - Here we go. Maximum effort. - ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 90 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,352 [♪ song stops] 91 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:44,958 - ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 92 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,592 Okay, peanut. 93 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,328 Guess we’re getting that team-up after all. 94 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:52,650 - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 95 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:56,302 [grunts] 96 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,138 ♪ I’m doing this tonight ♪ 97 00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,974 ♪ You’re probably gonna start a fight ♪ 98 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:01,574 [screaming] 99 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,977 ♪ I know this can’t be right ♪ 100 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,846 ♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪ 101 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,282 ♪ I loved you endlessly ♪ 102 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,685 ♪ When you weren’t there for me ♪ 103 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:17,724 ♪ So now it’s time to leave and make it alone ♪ 104 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,694 ♪ I know that I can’t take no more ♪ 105 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,195 [smooches] 106 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,196 [exhales] 107 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,665 ♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪ 108 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,301 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 109 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,370 ♪ Don’t wanna be a fool for you ♪ 110 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,907 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 111 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,110 ♪ You may hate me, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 112 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,546 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 113 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,614 ♪ Don’t really wanna make it tough ♪ 114 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,818 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I’ve had enough ♪ 115 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:48,788 ♪ It might sound crazy, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 116 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:52,759 ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ 117 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,861 ♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪ 118 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,497 ♪ Now, girl, you’re more than welcome to ♪ 119 00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,133 Maradona from outside the box! 120 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,569 Goal! 121 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:03,570 ♪ Baby, come on ♪ 122 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,773 ♪ I know that I can’t take no more ♪ 123 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,842 - ♪ It ain’t no lie ♪ - [both yelling] 124 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,979 ♪ Don’t wanna be a fool for you ♪ 125 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,416 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 126 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:19,285 ♪ You may hate me, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 127 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:21,988 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 128 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,157 ♪ Don’t really wanna make it tough ♪ 129 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,394 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I had enough ♪ 130 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:31,231 ♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 131 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:38,438 ♪ I don’t wanna be your fool ♪ 132 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:41,107 ♪ In this game for two ♪ 133 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:44,770 ♪ So I’m leavin’ you behind ♪ 134 00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:45,478 Come on, big fella. 135 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,130 ♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪ 136 00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:49,849 ♪ I don’t wanna make it tough ♪ 137 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,718 ♪ But I’ve had enough ♪ 138 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:55,889 - ♪ And it ain’t no lie ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 139 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:56,690 ♪ Baby ♪ 140 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,158 ♪ Don’t wanna be a fool for you ♪ 141 00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,926 ♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪ 142 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:04,764 ♪ I don’t wanna be your fool, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 143 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:07,267 - ♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 144 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:11,538 ♪ I just wanna tell you that I had enough ♪ 145 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,808 ♪ Might sound crazy, but it ain’t no lie ♪ 146 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,644 - ♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪ - ♪ Bye, bye ♪ 147 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,746 - [♪ song ends] - [gasps dramatically] 148 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:22,982 [♪ operatic music playing] 149 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:26,319 I am soaking wet right now. 150 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,540 [roars] 151 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,900 To be clear, I’m not proud of any of this. 152 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,893 The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia. 153 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:34,928 It isn’t who I am. 154 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,730 It isn’t who I wanna be. 155 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,397 Who I wanna be? 156 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,632 Well, to help you understand that, 157 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:40,533 I’ve gotta take you back. 158 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,360 A little joyride I took through space and time, 159 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,272 to the day that changed everything. 160 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,275 [♪ uptempo music building] 161 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,951 [♪ music fades out] 162 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,652 I can’t believe I’m finally here. 163 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:03,490 I’ve waited for this moment for so long. 164 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:07,600 Thank you, sir, for seeing me. 165 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,950 I... I firmly believe 166 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:10,263 that my services could be of 167 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,732 great use to your organization. 168 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:13,333 Now, I know 169 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,905 No, I’m sorry. That... That’s when you get those toy, 170 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:19,606 Hulk hands, right? 171 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,242 And then you just, you look down, and you just... 172 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,778 you brace yourself, and you ravage the midsection. 173 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,780 - Pinch the... Yeah. Okay. - I get it. Okay, thank you. 174 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,782 - The picture’s painted. - You get the gist. 175 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,484 Uh, what exactly brings you here today? 176 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:34,954 Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh... 177 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:35,855 I... I care. 178 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:39,959 I know I turn everything into a joke, but I... 179 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,698 I care, and I wanna use that feeling... 180 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:47,300 for something important. 181 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,435 I... I wanna matter. 182 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,904 [♪ solemn music playing] 183 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,940 I need to show my girl that I matter. 184 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,809 And... 185 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,410 You know, I feel like I’m wasting 186 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,144 the good stuff here. 187 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,846 Is the man not gonna be joining us? 188 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:00,613 - The man? - Yeah. 189 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,449 I should save this if he’s gonna... 190 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:05,510 Uh, as far as you’re concerned right now, I’m the man. 191 00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:06,419 - No. - The man is me. 192 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,689 I am the man in this circumstance. 193 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,890 - Mm. - He doesn’t do 194 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,592 this kind of thing anymore. 195 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,360 - Cameos? - Meetings. 196 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,495 - Meetings. - Entry-level meetings. 197 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,960 Entry-level? 198 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:17,864 Aren’t you the chauffeur... 199 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,266 - maybe? - I... Common misconception. 200 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,868 - Okay. - I did begin my career 201 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,436 as Mr. Stark’s driver. 202 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,437 - Okay. - Quickly pivoted to... 203 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,905 - Chauffeur. - ...the Head of Security. 204 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,974 The Head of... Of course, yes, yes, yes. 205 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,810 And why I am vetting your resume. 206 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,346 You seem to have left out whether or not you had 207 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,482 any experience as a member of a team. 208 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,216 Could you maybe add 209 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,317 a little bit of perspective there? 210 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,953 Oh. No, yes, of course. I was Special Forces... 211 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:40,987 - Okay. - ...but I was... 212 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,655 Mainly, I was team leader... 213 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:43,523 founder, really, of X-Force. 214 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,792 Sadly, they... they all perished in action though. 215 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:46,960 Oh. How exactly did that happen? 216 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,229 Well, the police say gravity, but if... 217 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,897 Just between us, they didn’t test well 218 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,332 - in the focus group. - I see. 219 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,401 - Particularly Cable. - X-Force. 220 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,101 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 221 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,202 Look, I can see this isn’t going well. 222 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,470 Please stop writing. Look, I... I... 223 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,573 I’m just... I wanna be an Avenger. 224 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,977 I wanna be an Avenger. 225 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,613 Why do you wanna be an Avenger? 226 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,381 Look around you. I mean, they’re the... 227 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,716 they’re the best of the best. 228 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,520 And... And what they do matters. 229 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,953 I need to be an Avenger. 230 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,790 Sir, my girl has kinda had it with my shtick, 231 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,691 and I... if I don’t, you know, 232 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,593 turn things around and do something with my "gifts," 233 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,796 I don’t think it’s gonna really work out for me, 234 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,831 and I wouldn’t blame her. 235 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:29,736 Avengers are a very unique group of superheroes 236 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,470 that stand for something 237 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,600 more than just fighting and wearing costumes. 238 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,743 I mean, people look up to us. Kids look up to us. 239 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:37,744 - They-- - I’m sorry. "Us"? 240 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,547 I wasn’t aware that you were an Avenger. 241 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,648 Avengers-adjacent, technically. 242 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,160 Oh, wow. What’s your superpower? 243 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,119 Is it parallel parking? I am so sorry. 244 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:46,720 That was cruel. 245 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,556 I lash out when I’m nervous. Won’t happen again. 246 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,240 - Let’s cut to the chase. - Please. 247 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,258 You just said moments ago 248 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,729 that you wanted to be an Avenger because 249 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,364 you need it. 250 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,640 Yes, sir, I do. 251 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,866 But the Avengers don’t do the job 252 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:00,934 because they need it. 253 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,170 They do the job because people need them. 254 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,873 Do you see the distinction? 255 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,760 Yes, sir. 256 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,378 Please, Mr. Hogan. 257 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,779 I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life 258 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,915 like an annoying one-trick pony. 259 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,819 All right. 260 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,421 Oh, my God, you’re standing. 261 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,590 Yeah, now’s the time that we stand. 262 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,570 Damn it. 263 00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:25,458 Now, the problem might be that you’re 264 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,727 reaching a little... little too high. 265 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:30,463 Aim for the middle, and you’ll never miss. 266 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,831 Right? I think you got a good heart. 267 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,433 I believe what you’re saying. 268 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,568 But not everybody’s the world-saving type. 269 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,804 I’m not, and I’m happy. 270 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,240 Right? I found my place. 271 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,509 Find your place. 272 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,544 All right? Get back out there. 273 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,646 - We’ll keep an eye on you. - Okay. 274 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,148 Good luck. 275 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,850 - [Wade Wilson] Mm. Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 276 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,753 Fetch the car. I wanna hit Shake Shack. 277 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,560 Rejection makes me hungy. 278 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,757 - No, no. Please. - No? 279 00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,726 - Yeah, no, no, no. - Okay. 280 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,528 Okay, thank you. 281 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,397 [Deadpool] You know what they say. 282 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,666 When one door closes, 283 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,601 your locker at work opens. 284 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,838 [♪ rousing music playing] 285 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,700 [stapling] 286 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,612 Now let’s go sell some certified 287 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,681 pre-owned vehicles, motherfu... 288 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,383 [♪ music stops] 289 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:27,854 Technically, the... the Carnival’s not a minivan. 290 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,890 It’s an MPV. 291 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,691 So how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey? 292 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,260 The Odyssey? That’s a great question. 293 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,280 - Um, it doesn’t ****ing suck. - [boy snickers] 294 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,564 You know, you can answer the question without swearing. 295 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,533 I’m sorry, Tammy, I don’t... I don’t have kids. 296 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,202 Not that I haven’t dreamt of that, 297 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,471 [Peter] You’ll get ’em next time, pal. 298 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,538 - [Wade] Yeah. - [Peter] And look, 299 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,400 you can always go back to superhero-ing. 300 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,776 I mean, I know I’d like to see you back in the suit. 301 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,312 I don’t keep it in my locker so that I can wear it. 302 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:55,248 I keep it in my locker in case we need to saddle up again. 303 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:59,119 Hey, hey, hey. What is that doing in there? 304 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,720 I’m done. 305 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,456 I’m done. 306 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,492 And I’m fine with being done. 307 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,560 Look, is sales the best match? 308 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,194 Probably not. 309 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:12,132 Is this the life that I always imagined for myself? **** no. 310 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,902 But this is the right fit for me, Sugar Bear, it is. 311 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,270 Okay, Mr. Wilson. 312 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,905 I’m just saying, once a month, 313 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,907 we could go on a little mission. 314 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:24,770 We’re human beings. We crave purpose. 315 00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:25,378 After all, we’re Deadpool. 316 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,314 Please stop saying that. We’re not Deadpool. 317 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,183 I’m not even Deadpool anymore. 318 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:33,486 Well, if you’re gonna have a midlife crisis, go big. 319 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,155 A few years ago, a friend of mine 320 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,357 got his ******* pierced with a titanium chain 321 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:41,261 that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson. 322 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,129 [camera clicking] 323 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,167 Are... Are you feeling grumplestiltskin 324 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,369 ’cause it’s your birthday? 325 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,138 What? 326 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,807 No. 327 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,420 No. 328 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,313 - Surprise! - [♪ hip-hop music plays] 329 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,783 Hey, you guys are lucky I’m not armed. 330 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:04,584 Get in here. 331 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,870 If this were six years ago, you’d all be dead. 332 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,220 So then, he gets out of the cab, 333 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,230 and you will not believe it. 334 00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:11,925 I turn around, and what do I find? 335 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,793 - AirPods. His AirPods. - His AirPods! 336 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,728 - Come on. - Crazy story. 337 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:18,598 - Every time. Come on. - [laughing] Every single time. 338 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:19,966 [Wade sighs] 339 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,501 Make any sales today? 340 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,469 You know I didn’t. 341 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,371 Did you sell any dreamcatchers on Etsy 342 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,972 or whatever it is that you do? 343 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,941 Our rent’s due in three days, Wade. 344 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,376 I can’t keep carrying you. 345 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,577 Relax. I have the money. 346 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:33,513 I sold some old blood pressure medication 347 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,447 I found lying around. 348 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,490 You tryin’ to kill me, mother****er? 349 00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:37,951 I’m not the one dousing everything in salt, 350 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,587 - mother****er. - I pray every day 351 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,389 that fire finds your body 352 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:45,250 and finishes the job God didn’t have 353 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,426 - the nuts to do. - That’s hurtful. 354 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,294 If you could hear the look on my face, 355 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,863 you’d smell how sad I am. 356 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,231 You watched anything good? 357 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,233 Great British Bake Off. 358 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:53,867 Oh, goddamn. 359 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,202 That show stood between me and suicide for 10 years. 360 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:59,105 Those are my feelings on abortion, religious freedom, 361 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,274 animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines, 362 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,376 free-market capitalism, global climate change. 363 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,846 Yeah, duh-duh-duh. No, no speaking lines, Buck. 364 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,490 - Hi, Yukio. - Hi, Wade. 365 00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:11,284 Nice fake o’clock shadow. 366 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:14,120 It’s a summer balayage. From the French. 367 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,191 It’s meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun. 368 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,226 - It’s a toupee. - It’s a hair system. 369 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,929 I love your hair system, Wade. 370 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,970 Thank you. Heh. 371 00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:24,864 Wanna do some cocaine? 372 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,335 Hey, cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits. 373 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,969 What about Bolivian marching powder? 374 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,272 They know all the slang terms. They have a list. 375 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,574 - Even snowboarding? - Even disco dust. 376 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:35,342 White girl interrupted? 377 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,843 - Even Forrest Bump. - Booger sugar? 378 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:37,977 I wouldn’t even try powdered gonuts. 379 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:42,749 - Do you wanna build a snowman? - Yes. But I can’t. 380 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,184 How’s work? 381 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,252 Oh, I got a promotion. 382 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,870 No way. 383 00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:50,990 Yeah. It’s mind-numbing middle management, but I’m happy. 384 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,625 That’s great. 385 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,862 - You, uh, seeing anyone? - How about you? 386 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,198 Um... Yeah. 387 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:01,134 A guy from work. Dermot. 388 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,680 Dermot. 389 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,536 - He’s kind. - Good. 390 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,138 Likes to go hiking. 391 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,606 Hasn’t gotten me shot yet. 392 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,109 Well, it’s the early days. 393 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,211 [Vanessa chuckles] 394 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,115 What about you? You seeing anyone? 395 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:15,715 [Wade] Mm... 396 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,517 No, no, I live in a one-bedroom apartment. 397 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,853 I share a bed with Blind Al. 398 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,489 - Okay. - [laughs] 399 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,791 - All right. - All right. 400 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,962 [all] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 401 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,463 - Speech! Speech! - [Yukio] Yes! 402 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,466 All right. Okay, okay, okay. Uh... 403 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,501 Birthdays. 404 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,369 Boy, every spin around the moon 405 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,237 is a new adventure indeed. 406 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,473 - Sun, dumb***. - Okay, round-earther. 407 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,443 - Where was I? - The adventure of life. 408 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,144 Right. Um... 409 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,346 It’s been a challenging few years. 410 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,614 Haven’t seen you guys in a while. 411 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,983 Been through a lot, uh, change of life. 412 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,585 - Menopause? - *****, are you improv-ing? 413 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,354 - Mm-mm. - Sorry. 414 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,256 [softly] I’m sorry that you had to see that, Yukio. 415 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:59,225 - [softly] It’s okay. - Yeah. 416 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,294 [sighs] But I’m happy. 417 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,429 You know, and that’s... that’s 418 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,565 because of each and every one of you. 419 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,333 I guess, what I’m trying to say is 420 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,269 how proud I am, how grateful I am 421 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,337 to be standing in a room 422 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,773 with every single person I love. 423 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,676 [♪ soft music playing] 424 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,214 I’m the luckiest man alive. 425 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,716 [chuckles] 426 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:23,850 Make a wish, buddy. 427 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,530 Ten-four, good buddy. [chuckles] 428 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:28,688 Going down. 429 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,226 [knock at door] 430 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,395 Wade Wilson? 431 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,496 Oh, yeah. Dancers. 432 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,264 Dopinder must have ordered you. 433 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,567 Are those supposed to be cop costumes? 434 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,434 Never mind. 435 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,137 Take your clothes off but leave the helmets. 436 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,306 And this isn’t Pretty Woman. 437 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,307 We’re kissing. All right? 438 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,343 What song do you guys normally dance to? 439 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,747 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 440 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,914 Is that supposed to be scary? 441 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,217 Pegging isn’t new for me, friendo. 442 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,386 But it is for Disney. 443 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,120 Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta! 444 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,550 Okay, I’ve never been a natural bottom, 445 00:17:02,550 --> 00:17:04,157 so we’re gonna take things real slow. 446 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,493 And I want some crazy eye contact. 447 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:07,160 Not you. You. 448 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,496 Can’t see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel them. 449 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,640 We’re gonna move on down the hallway 450 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,199 so we can spare a cleanup on aisle ***hole. 451 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,101 How’s everyone feel about this plan? 452 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:15,802 I don’t like you. 453 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,138 Yes. Let’s hold on to that attitude. 454 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,340 And we’re gonna do it angry. 455 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,908 [grunts] 456 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,411 [grunts] 457 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,116 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 458 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,252 [Wade moans softly] 459 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,187 [Wade grunts] 460 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:39,926 [Voice] Mr. Wilson... 461 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,663 you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. 462 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,566 I wasn’t unconscious. Who are you? 463 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,134 I go by the name of Paradox. 464 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:52,205 Mr. Paradox. And you’re sitting here at the TVA. 465 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,140 The Time Variance Authority. 466 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,176 We’re really a watchdog organization, 467 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,112 except we’re more lighthearted than that sounds, 468 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:02,582 with a sort of throwback, ironic twist. 469 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,184 And we’re in charge of defending 470 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,386 what’s known as the Sacred Timeline. 471 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:10,123 Holy ****. That is a shit-ton of exposition for a threequel. 472 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,125 Is this because I used Cable’s time machine? 473 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,427 Brought a couple of people back to life, 474 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,195 then I destroyed it. 475 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,429 - That was a long time ago. - Yes, 476 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,299 we’re aware of your abuse of your timeline. 477 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,135 [chuckles] And you were so abusive of it. 478 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:25,105 Uh, no, it has nothing to do with that. 479 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,740 Walk with me. 480 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,910 [♪ mysterious music playing] 481 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:34,614 I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you 482 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,116 that you’re special. 483 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:39,519 In fact, you’ve been chosen for a higher purpose, 484 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,880 a purpose unclear even to me. 485 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:43,823 But one that could 486 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,493 save the entire Sacred Timeline 487 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,462 from a possibly grisly fate sometime in the future, 488 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,766 which may very well need to be... 489 00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,334 avenged. 490 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,736 This Sacred Timeline, 491 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,706 I assume I’m going to marvel 492 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,241 at how 493 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,143 cinematic it feels? 494 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,377 Gratuitous cameos, 495 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,247 indiscriminate use of Variants, the whole package? 496 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,349 Well, you tell me. 497 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,917 [device beeps] 498 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,722 [♪ heroic music playing] 499 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,857 Cap! 500 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,499 You are no longer lost, Wade. 501 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,302 You can be a hero among heroes. 502 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,705 We’ve been surveilling you for quite a while. 503 00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:35,775 - Subway station. - A TVA outpost, yes. 504 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,244 - And what is that? - Hmm? 505 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,582 Is that me? Is that Thor? 506 00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:44,984 - Is he crying? - Uh, let’s not 507 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,186 - get ahead of ourselves. - [gasps] 508 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,520 That happens in the distant future. 509 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,255 Why is Thor crying? Quick! Tell me. 510 00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,690 Do not speak to her. Stop that. Eyes on me. 511 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,326 I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. 512 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,328 The opportunity you sought years ago, 513 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,163 but for which you were not ready. 514 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,398 We believe you’re ready now. 515 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,533 Ready for a chance to leave your timeline 516 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,469 and join the greatest universe of all. 517 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,500 I am about to give you the thing you’ve always wanted. 518 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,573 Oh, I smell what you’re steppin’ in. 519 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,274 The power in the Marvel Universe 520 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,310 is about to change forever. 521 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,246 I am the Messiah... 522 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,582 [♪ heavenly music building] 523 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,284 I am... 524 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:20,954 - [♪ music stops] - ...Marvel Jesus. 525 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,123 Can you excuse me for just a moment? 526 00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:25,425 I’m just gonna go over here. 527 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,362 Suck it, Fox! 528 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,663 I’m going to Disneyland. 529 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,799 [grunts] Get ****ed! 530 00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:36,403 Where do I sign? 531 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,437 Oh, there’s no need for paperwork. 532 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:40,340 Good. Not to brag, but I do not read. 533 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:40,974 [chuckles] Oh. 534 00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:43,943 There is one thing I will need, though. 535 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,414 [♪ rousing music playing] 536 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,116 [laughs] Oh, **** off! 537 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,686 Adorn me, Beardo. 538 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,670 [♪ hip-hop music plays, Fergie ft. Ludacris "Glamorous"] 539 00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:08,468 ****in’ A! 540 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,700 Uhh! It’s perfect! FYI, 541 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:14,400 your tailor is a predator, but I love it. Snug. 542 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:14,741 No camel toe. 543 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:18,712 New car smell and adamantium katanas? 544 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,513 You shouldn’t have. 545 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,150 Go ahead. Take it in. 546 00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,951 And yes, your underwear is getting tighter. 547 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,753 That guy knows what I’m talking about. 548 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,555 His clothes says middle management, 549 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:31,491 but his eyes say ****-y ****-y. 550 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,493 Yes. You look very nice. 551 00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:34,194 [Deadpool] "Nice"? 552 00:21:34,194 --> 00:21:36,429 Your buddy here is ready to throw it all away for me. 553 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,497 - You callin’ your wife? - HR. 554 00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:38,665 [Deadpool] Does your wife work in HR? 555 00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:41,468 [Mr. Paradox] I’m really glad you’re taking this so well. 556 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:42,936 [Deadpool] Oh, I’m taking it well. 557 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:45,605 I have never had a problem traveling for work. 558 00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,640 That said, we should talk vacation days. 559 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,443 I’m more of a one-week-on- one-week-off kind of guy. 560 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:51,611 I think it’s what they do in Denmark. 561 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,646 You know, you’ll never see a Danish flag on the moon, 562 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,448 but [chuckles] goddamn it, they’re happy. 563 00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:58,818 Now, let’s power up your little Amazon Fire phone there 564 00:21:58,818 --> 00:21:59,619 and zip me back home 565 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,422 so I can let my friends know that they’ve been upgraded 566 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:03,560 to disciples. 567 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,959 Yeah. I don’t think you... quite understand. 568 00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:08,661 Um, you will not be returning to your home 569 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,831 because there will be no home to return to. 570 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:12,732 Come again? 571 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,668 This time in my ears. 572 00:22:16,136 --> 00:22:17,737 [device beeps] 573 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:21,908 This is your universe, Mr. Wilson. 574 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:22,876 That 575 00:22:22,876 --> 00:22:24,911 is what happens when a universe 576 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,880 loses their Anchor Being. 577 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,848 See how it decays from the inside? 578 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,718 - This is how a reality dies. - What’s an Anchor Being? 579 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,754 An Anchor Being is an entity of such vital importance 580 00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:35,488 that when they die, 581 00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:38,725 their whole world slowly withers out of existence. 582 00:22:38,725 --> 00:22:41,628 You’ve just won the lottery because I didn’t die. 583 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,997 It was just a little midlife crisis. I’m better now. 584 00:22:43,997 --> 00:22:47,133 Oh, no, no, no. [laughing] 585 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:49,936 [Deadpool laughs along] 586 00:22:49,936 --> 00:22:52,639 - Oh, my God. - Oh, I love to laugh. 587 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:55,508 Can you imagine if you were the Anchor Being? 588 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,577 - [Deadpool, dully] Yeah. - [laughs] Oh! 589 00:22:57,577 --> 00:23:01,147 - Yeah. - No, it isn’t you, Mr. Wilson. 590 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:02,282 Your Anchor Being died 591 00:23:02,282 --> 00:23:05,518 in an act of self-sacrifice so epic 592 00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:08,880 that it sent shivers down the Timeline. 593 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,920 I am referring, of course, to... 594 00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:17,197 Logan. The Wolverine. 595 00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:22,836 [weakly] Don’t be what they made you. 596 00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:26,773 [♪ sentimental slow rock music playing] 597 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:31,845 [crying] 598 00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:35,715 Ah, so this is what it feels like... 599 00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,585 [Deadpool] Logan. 600 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,320 Of course. 601 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:41,988 Logan. 602 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,190 [Deadpool groans] 603 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:45,458 [yelling] Logan? 604 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,360 The guy with forks for hands? 605 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,929 - That Wolverine? - [device beeps] 606 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,631 Yeah, I got it. You can turn your 607 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,670 retro graphics of death off now. Make it stop. 608 00:23:54,670 --> 00:23:55,802 We’re not doing it, Mr. Wilson. 609 00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:57,837 We certainly can’t stop it. 610 00:23:58,905 --> 00:23:59,973 [Deadpool] How long have we got? 611 00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:02,676 In most cases, couple thousand years. 612 00:24:02,676 --> 00:24:03,943 - Well, sweet. - Well, most cases 613 00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,446 aren’t fast enough. Not for me. 614 00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:07,614 [Deadpool] What does that mean? 615 00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:09,649 It means that I have been tasked 616 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:12,519 with overseeing the end of your universe. 617 00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:13,286 And regardless of what 618 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,622 the pencil pushers upstairs would prefer, 619 00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:16,189 I will not 620 00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:19,759 waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. 621 00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,995 We used to just prune these things. Simple. 622 00:24:21,995 --> 00:24:23,997 Elegant. Efficient. But I’m told the TVA 623 00:24:23,997 --> 00:24:26,433 doesn’t like to do that anymore. Well, I do. 624 00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:28,401 And no matter what my so-called superiors say, 625 00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:31,471 the multiverse does not need a babysitter. 626 00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:33,139 We need a mercy killer. 627 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:34,808 And in this instance, 628 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:38,812 I am the mercy killer. Ha! 629 00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:41,114 [chuckles] 630 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,248 [device beeps] 631 00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:43,783 [Deadpool] What in the MacGuffin is that? 632 00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:46,820 [Mr. Paradox] That’s a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson. 633 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:47,921 An accelerant. 634 00:24:47,921 --> 00:24:50,690 Once completed, it will allow me to destroy 635 00:24:50,690 --> 00:24:52,692 the spacetime matrix of your universe. 636 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:55,495 You see, I don’t want to work for the TVA. 637 00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,730 I want to be the TVA. 638 00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:59,899 And the first step involves showing this organization 639 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:01,668 how much more efficient it can become. 640 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:03,803 To wit, I will be giving your universe 641 00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:05,905 a swift and compassionate end. 642 00:25:05,905 --> 00:25:07,407 And don’t worry, your friends won’t feel a thing. 643 00:25:07,407 --> 00:25:11,611 It’ll be over just like this. "Oh, what’s that?" [groans] 644 00:25:11,711 --> 00:25:13,246 Trust me. 645 00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:27,494 You’re gonna Old Yeller my ****ing universe? 646 00:25:27,494 --> 00:25:29,496 Mm... In your parlance, yes. 647 00:25:29,496 --> 00:25:30,830 Two in the heart, one in the head. 648 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,330 Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices. 649 00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:34,567 You can either rejoin your loved ones 650 00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:36,836 and collectively cease to exist in, 651 00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:39,739 I’d say, 72 hours. Or... 652 00:25:39,739 --> 00:25:42,800 you join the Sacred Timeline. 653 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,110 And you end your days of insignificance 654 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:47,380 and mediocrity. 655 00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,715 Wade. 656 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:50,784 Wade, you can finally, 657 00:25:50,784 --> 00:25:53,853 finally matter. 658 00:25:56,756 --> 00:26:00,860 - [Hulk roars] - [♪ sentimental music playing] 659 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:05,231 That’s all I’ve ever really wanted. 660 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,330 I know. 661 00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:08,401 I know. 662 00:26:08,401 --> 00:26:10,904 And you know I’m... I’m nothing if not 663 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:13,390 morally flexible. [chuckles] 664 00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:14,741 [chuckles] 665 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,676 Yep, yep. 666 00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:19,412 I’ll do it. 667 00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:20,130 Wise choice. 668 00:26:20,130 --> 00:26:21,481 The Sacred Timeline’s happy to have you. 669 00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:22,816 [Deadpool] I was actually talking about finding 670 00:26:22,816 --> 00:26:25,785 the Wolverine and breaking your ****ing nose. 671 00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:27,754 [groans] 672 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,222 [♪ soft rock music plays, Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"] 673 00:26:29,222 --> 00:26:31,858 ♪ And I’d give up forever to touch you ♪ 674 00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:36,830 ♪ ’Cause I know that you feel me somehow ♪ 675 00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:38,665 [♪ song stops] 676 00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:40,800 Find him. Find him! 677 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,403 [Deadpool] And boy, did he ever. 678 00:26:43,403 --> 00:26:44,671 [grunting] 679 00:26:44,671 --> 00:26:47,107 Which brings us back to this. 680 00:26:47,874 --> 00:26:50,100 The desecration of the sacred corpse. 681 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:54,180 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - [yelling and grunting] 682 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:57,150 - Oh, my God! - [yells] 683 00:26:57,484 --> 00:27:00,587 Oh! My own ****ing arm! 684 00:27:00,587 --> 00:27:01,421 [soldier 1 yells] 685 00:27:01,421 --> 00:27:03,560 - [soldier 1 screams] - [grunting] 686 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,910 - [soldier 1 screaming] - Now we’re talkin’! 687 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:08,895 Logan was a hero. 688 00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:10,663 And the only thing worth a shit 689 00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,699 to ever come out of Canada. 690 00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:14,300 [soldier 1 cries out] 691 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,169 [soldier 2 screams] 692 00:27:19,606 --> 00:27:22,750 [Deadpool] Get my country’s name 693 00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:25,450 out of your ****in’ mouth. 694 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:27,814 And my sword. Give me that. 695 00:27:29,582 --> 00:27:30,150 [exhales] 696 00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:33,286 Oh, I gotta find me another Logan. 697 00:27:33,286 --> 00:27:34,870 An alive one. 698 00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:36,823 Don’t get up, guys. I’ll see myself out. 699 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:40,960 [♪ synth rock music playing, "The Power of Love"] 700 00:27:44,731 --> 00:27:46,166 Logan! 701 00:27:48,702 --> 00:27:51,471 I’m gonna need you to come with me. 702 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,807 Who’s asking? 703 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:54,674 [♪ music stops] 704 00:27:54,674 --> 00:27:56,810 [Deadpool] Oh, look at this little Hairy Lou Retton. 705 00:27:56,810 --> 00:27:59,746 Did you stick the landing, little guy? 706 00:27:59,746 --> 00:28:00,613 Yes, you did! 707 00:28:00,613 --> 00:28:02,315 Comic-accurate short king. 708 00:28:02,315 --> 00:28:04,684 Such a cute wittle Wolvie. 709 00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:06,190 Cue the ****in’ montage, baby. 710 00:28:06,190 --> 00:28:08,210 - [♪ synth rock music resumes] - Ahoy! 711 00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:10,590 Everything seems to be on fire. 712 00:28:10,590 --> 00:28:11,691 You have a dragon? 713 00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:14,994 Ooh, you have Anchor Being written all over-- 714 00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:17,230 [grunting] 715 00:28:17,797 --> 00:28:18,365 [growling] 716 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:22,669 ♪ Make a one man weep, make another man sing ♪ 717 00:28:22,669 --> 00:28:24,838 ♪ Change a hawk...♪ 718 00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:25,338 Patch! 719 00:28:25,338 --> 00:28:29,509 - [engine revving] - Oh, now we’re talkin’. 720 00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:30,810 Oh, yeah. 721 00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:34,800 That’s the whole goddamn package right there. 722 00:28:34,647 --> 00:28:35,148 Howdy! 723 00:28:35,148 --> 00:28:37,584 I’m just... I’m auditioning Anchor Beings. 724 00:28:37,584 --> 00:28:41,454 Oh. Yeah, that’s gonna need some coconut oil. 725 00:28:42,856 --> 00:28:43,857 [grunts] 726 00:28:43,857 --> 00:28:45,125 [crow cawing] 727 00:28:45,125 --> 00:28:47,260 What in the ****? 728 00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:49,596 [laughs] Are you okay? 729 00:28:49,596 --> 00:28:50,230 Oh, yes, yes. 730 00:28:50,230 --> 00:28:51,998 Classic John Byrne brown and tan. 731 00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:54,100 Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit. No? 732 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:56,970 - [deep growl] - [♪ song stops] 733 00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:59,105 I’m Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, 734 00:28:59,105 --> 00:28:59,839 and I will not-- [yells] 735 00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:02,442 - [Deadpool groans] - [♪ song resumes playing] 736 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,811 [grunting] 737 00:29:06,780 --> 00:29:09,490 - [thunder rumbles] - [groaning] 738 00:29:09,490 --> 00:29:13,286 It’s not you. We’re just going in a different direction. 739 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:15,822 [engine revving] 740 00:29:15,822 --> 00:29:16,589 You know, from behind, 741 00:29:16,589 --> 00:29:17,757 you look a little bit like Henry-- 742 00:29:17,757 --> 00:29:19,159 - Oh, my ****! - [♪ song stops] 743 00:29:19,159 --> 00:29:22,262 The Cavillrine. The legends are true. 744 00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:25,832 And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, 745 00:29:25,832 --> 00:29:27,567 this just feels right. 746 00:29:27,567 --> 00:29:28,968 We will treat you so much better 747 00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:30,270 than those shit ****s down the street. 748 00:29:30,270 --> 00:29:32,572 - You were just leavin’. - [Deadpool] No, sir. 749 00:29:32,572 --> 00:29:35,208 Not while the fate of my universe is at-- 750 00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:38,478 [man grunts] 751 00:29:38,478 --> 00:29:39,145 [choking] 752 00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:40,947 This one looks promising. 753 00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:42,782 Down you go. 754 00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:45,510 [Logan] Again. 755 00:29:45,510 --> 00:29:47,554 I told you. You’re not welcome here. 756 00:29:47,554 --> 00:29:48,922 You’re not welcome anywhere. 757 00:29:48,922 --> 00:29:49,889 Now get the **** out of my bar. 758 00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:52,759 Just give me one more drink and then I’ll leave. 759 00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:54,561 [bartender] That’s not how it works. 760 00:29:54,561 --> 00:29:57,364 [Deadpool] It does now. Leave the bottle. 761 00:29:57,364 --> 00:29:58,298 I know you, bub? 762 00:29:58,298 --> 00:30:00,934 Nope. But I know you. 763 00:30:00,934 --> 00:30:03,690 Everybody knows me. 764 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,138 I’m the Wolverine. 765 00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:06,840 Yes, you are. 766 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,210 And I’m gonna need you to come with me right now. 767 00:30:10,543 --> 00:30:11,945 Look, lady, I’m not interested. 768 00:30:11,945 --> 00:30:13,747 Really gettin’ into your cups here. 769 00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:15,949 Why would I go with you? 770 00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:18,284 Because, unfortunately, 771 00:30:18,284 --> 00:30:18,885 I need you, 772 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:24,124 and even more unfortunately, my entire world needs you. 773 00:30:24,124 --> 00:30:26,493 You two gonna **** or fight? 774 00:30:29,629 --> 00:30:31,197 You gonna take that from him? 775 00:30:31,197 --> 00:30:32,265 - Yep. - [scoffs] 776 00:30:32,265 --> 00:30:34,567 I can tell you have a sort of don’t-get-too-close- 777 00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:36,703 I’ll-only-break-your-heart vibe going here, 778 00:30:36,703 --> 00:30:37,671 but every other Wolverine 779 00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:38,905 would’ve really hurt me by now. 780 00:30:38,905 --> 00:30:39,973 And I’m sort of on the tick-tick. 781 00:30:39,973 --> 00:30:41,775 - So, upsy-daisy. Here we go. - Whoa, whoa. 782 00:30:41,775 --> 00:30:43,900 - Up you go. - Hey, hey! 783 00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:44,878 I got you, big guy. 784 00:30:45,779 --> 00:30:47,180 Oh. 785 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:48,715 Whiskey **** of the claws. 786 00:30:48,715 --> 00:30:50,750 It’s quite common in Wolverines over 40. 787 00:30:50,750 --> 00:30:51,484 You don’t want this. 788 00:30:51,484 --> 00:30:54,154 You’re right. I don’t. And you don’t want this. 789 00:30:54,154 --> 00:30:55,889 Unless you wanna take a deep breath 790 00:30:55,889 --> 00:30:57,190 through your ****in’ forehead, 791 00:30:57,190 --> 00:30:59,559 I suggest you reconsider. 792 00:30:59,559 --> 00:31:01,261 Let’s go, peanut. 793 00:31:03,290 --> 00:31:04,931 [laughing] 794 00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:07,734 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 795 00:31:07,734 --> 00:31:09,269 Watch this. 796 00:31:09,602 --> 00:31:12,272 All right. That-- Whoa. 797 00:31:12,272 --> 00:31:13,907 Easy. 798 00:31:16,943 --> 00:31:17,911 Good God. 799 00:31:17,911 --> 00:31:21,140 Thirsty little honey badger, aren’t ya? 800 00:31:21,247 --> 00:31:22,615 It’s okay. Keep goin’. 801 00:31:22,615 --> 00:31:25,785 Audiences are accustomed to long run times. 802 00:31:26,152 --> 00:31:29,890 [grunts, groans] 803 00:31:29,890 --> 00:31:30,290 [body thuds] 804 00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:33,260 [sighs] Guess you’ll have to do. 805 00:31:33,260 --> 00:31:34,761 Okay, here we-- 806 00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:37,764 Oh! Look at those jammies. 807 00:31:37,764 --> 00:31:41,167 That only took 20 ****ing years. 808 00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:43,670 One Anchor Being coming right up! 809 00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:45,972 On your left, baby girl. 810 00:31:45,972 --> 00:31:46,706 This Logan has the same 811 00:31:46,706 --> 00:31:48,942 he-can-do-anything- even-musicals look. 812 00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:51,144 And bonus, he’s actually wearing a costume 813 00:31:51,144 --> 00:31:52,579 like he’s not embarrassed to be 814 00:31:52,579 --> 00:31:54,147 in a superhero movie for once. 815 00:31:54,147 --> 00:31:55,648 I don’t understand. 816 00:31:55,648 --> 00:31:56,549 You said my universe is dying 817 00:31:56,549 --> 00:31:59,520 because this sack of nuts got himself killed. 818 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,621 - Well, problem solved. - My God. 819 00:32:01,621 --> 00:32:06,793 You actually think you can replace an Anchor Being 820 00:32:06,793 --> 00:32:07,927 with this? 821 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:11,640 I wouldn’t have accepted any other Wolverine, BT dubs. 822 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:12,899 But you have outdone yourself 823 00:32:12,899 --> 00:32:15,168 and brought me the worst Wolverine! 824 00:32:15,168 --> 00:32:16,870 What do you mean, the worst one? 825 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:17,804 Mr. Wilson. 826 00:32:17,804 --> 00:32:21,708 This Wolverine let down his entire world. 827 00:32:21,708 --> 00:32:24,778 He’s the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. 828 00:32:24,778 --> 00:32:26,146 And what he did, 829 00:32:26,146 --> 00:32:26,846 well, 830 00:32:26,846 --> 00:32:30,283 some things are just beyond forgiveness. 831 00:32:32,152 --> 00:32:32,652 Okay. 832 00:32:32,652 --> 00:32:35,889 How do I... How do I make this right? I’ll do anything. 833 00:32:35,889 --> 00:32:38,725 I gave you a chance at greatness. 834 00:32:38,725 --> 00:32:41,561 Because my superiors deemed you "special." 835 00:32:41,561 --> 00:32:43,363 Clearly not special in a good way. 836 00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:44,130 Apparently you have some 837 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:46,633 important future purpose to serve. 838 00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:47,767 With Thor. He holds me. 839 00:32:47,767 --> 00:32:49,135 But I did my duty. 840 00:32:49,135 --> 00:32:51,304 I gave you the opportunity to be somebody. 841 00:32:51,304 --> 00:32:53,730 And instead of accepting my offering 842 00:32:53,730 --> 00:32:56,142 with humility and gratitude, you broke my nose. 843 00:32:56,142 --> 00:32:56,876 [sighs] It looks great. 844 00:32:56,876 --> 00:32:58,878 And you decimated dozens of my men 845 00:32:58,878 --> 00:33:00,213 with the exhumed corpse of a hero. 846 00:33:00,213 --> 00:33:03,490 Dishonoring not only his remains but his memory. 847 00:33:03,490 --> 00:33:04,551 What are you, the Internet? 848 00:33:04,551 --> 00:33:06,820 Your world is dying! 849 00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:08,880 Thank you very much. 850 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,190 And there’s no stopping it. 851 00:33:11,224 --> 00:33:13,293 [muffled] The humane thing to do 852 00:33:13,293 --> 00:33:14,270 is to make it quick. 853 00:33:14,270 --> 00:33:16,329 Is the thought of vaporizing my universe 854 00:33:16,329 --> 00:33:17,630 making you peckish? 855 00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:18,365 I’m eating my feelings. 856 00:33:18,365 --> 00:33:19,799 I’m about to lose everything that I’ve ever cared about 857 00:33:19,799 --> 00:33:23,703 because that hairy thunder**** from down under**** 858 00:33:23,703 --> 00:33:24,337 finally dies, 859 00:33:24,337 --> 00:33:26,873 and he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he? 860 00:33:26,873 --> 00:33:28,875 Welcome to the MCU, by the way. 861 00:33:28,875 --> 00:33:30,977 You’re joining at a bit of a low point. 862 00:33:30,977 --> 00:33:33,113 As for you, I wanna talk to your boss. 863 00:33:33,113 --> 00:33:34,581 I want you to get him on the phone 864 00:33:34,581 --> 00:33:36,616 and you tell him, her, or them, 865 00:33:36,616 --> 00:33:39,919 that Marvel H. Christ isn’t playing. 866 00:33:44,724 --> 00:33:46,226 Holy shit. 867 00:33:46,226 --> 00:33:47,827 I just heard a symphony 868 00:33:47,827 --> 00:33:50,296 of buttholes clenching all at once. 869 00:33:50,296 --> 00:33:50,897 You’re off grid. 870 00:33:50,897 --> 00:33:52,766 Your bosses don’t know what you sick ****s 871 00:33:52,766 --> 00:33:53,733 are doing down here. 872 00:33:53,733 --> 00:33:54,667 Well, I’ll tell you what. 873 00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:56,870 I have a black belt in Karen... 874 00:33:56,870 --> 00:33:57,804 And I’m gonna go upstairs 875 00:33:57,804 --> 00:34:01,241 and I’m gonna tell ’em all about you and your-- 876 00:34:01,241 --> 00:34:03,143 Oh, silence is nice, isn’t it? 877 00:34:03,143 --> 00:34:03,977 Where the **** did he go? 878 00:34:03,977 --> 00:34:06,646 To the trash heap. You’ll fit right in. 879 00:34:06,646 --> 00:34:08,248 [growls] 880 00:34:08,248 --> 00:34:09,249 Whew. 881 00:34:09,249 --> 00:34:11,484 That was close. [chuckles] 882 00:34:13,887 --> 00:34:17,123 [muffled rhythmic thumping] 883 00:34:19,926 --> 00:34:22,929 [muffled footsteps thumping] 884 00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:28,301 [groaning] 885 00:34:31,710 --> 00:34:34,240 [Deadpool] Don’t just stand there, you ape. 886 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:35,875 Give me a hand up. 887 00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:37,544 - [claws clang] - Nope. I’m actually okay. 888 00:34:37,544 --> 00:34:41,470 - Thank you very much. [groans] - [Wolverine grunting] 889 00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:42,148 [Wolverine] Where the hell are we? 890 00:34:42,148 --> 00:34:44,651 [Deadpool] I don’t know. Looks kind of Mad Max-y. 891 00:34:44,651 --> 00:34:47,220 But that would be IP infringement, right? 892 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,121 ****ing jokes. 893 00:34:48,121 --> 00:34:50,256 - [grunts] - [Deadpool yelps] 894 00:34:50,256 --> 00:34:51,825 [bones crack] 895 00:34:51,825 --> 00:34:52,959 [Deadpool] ****! ****. 896 00:34:52,959 --> 00:34:54,194 Were you even listening back there? 897 00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:57,630 If we don’t make it back to that Mr. Paradox ***hole, 898 00:34:57,630 --> 00:34:59,165 everyone I know is gonna die. 899 00:34:59,165 --> 00:35:01,340 Not my ****in’ problem. 900 00:35:01,340 --> 00:35:02,535 Oh, is that all you got? 901 00:35:02,535 --> 00:35:05,905 Is that what you said when your world went to shit? 902 00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:08,541 [breathing heavily] Come again? 903 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:10,543 Yeah, I heard all about you. 904 00:35:10,543 --> 00:35:12,712 How you screwed up everything. 905 00:35:12,712 --> 00:35:13,546 You should be thankin’ me 906 00:35:13,546 --> 00:35:15,248 for pulling you out of that bed you shit in. 907 00:35:15,248 --> 00:35:18,251 [groans] You back-stabbing son of a *****! 908 00:35:18,251 --> 00:35:19,953 [yells] 909 00:35:22,589 --> 00:35:23,823 [shouts, groans] 910 00:35:23,823 --> 00:35:25,910 Are you ready to be calm now? 911 00:35:25,910 --> 00:35:27,961 - [grunts] - [Deadpool yelps] 912 00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:31,931 [groans] 913 00:35:32,298 --> 00:35:34,100 Rest in pieces, Fox. [grunts] 914 00:35:34,100 --> 00:35:37,737 [♪ tense song intro playing, AC/DC "Hells Bells"] 915 00:35:37,737 --> 00:35:40,730 [bird screeching] 916 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:52,850 I don’t want to fight you, peanut. 917 00:35:52,252 --> 00:35:53,887 Doesn’t matter what you did. 918 00:35:53,887 --> 00:35:56,523 - I just need your help. - [grunts] 919 00:35:57,900 --> 00:35:59,459 I don’t ****in’ care. 920 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,620 Uh... Uh-oh. 921 00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:04,130 [breathes heavily] 922 00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:10,737 ****. This is gonna hurt. 923 00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:16,900 All right. 924 00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:16,843 **** it. 925 00:36:16,843 --> 00:36:18,812 Let’s give the people what they came for. 926 00:36:18,812 --> 00:36:22,682 - [♪ song stops] - Let’s ****in’ go. 927 00:36:22,682 --> 00:36:25,151 Get your special sock out, nerds. 928 00:36:25,151 --> 00:36:27,887 It’s gonna get good. 929 00:36:28,540 --> 00:36:29,789 [grunts] 930 00:36:33,727 --> 00:36:36,296 [♪ hard rock music playing, AC/DC "Hells Bells"] 931 00:36:36,296 --> 00:36:37,964 [growls] 932 00:36:38,665 --> 00:36:40,467 [gunshots] 933 00:36:48,308 --> 00:36:50,443 [both grunting] 934 00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,470 [groans] 935 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:00,787 [screams] 936 00:37:00,787 --> 00:37:03,390 ♪ Hell’s bells ♪ 937 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:07,127 ♪ I’ll give you black sensations ♪ 938 00:37:07,127 --> 00:37:09,562 ♪ Up and down your spine ♪ 939 00:37:09,562 --> 00:37:13,660 ♪ If you’re into evil, you’re a friend of mine ♪ 940 00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:16,836 ♪ See my white light flashing as I split the night ♪ 941 00:37:16,836 --> 00:37:19,839 - [grunts, growls] - [Deadpool chuckles] Ew. 942 00:37:20,273 --> 00:37:20,740 Gotcha! 943 00:37:20,740 --> 00:37:24,511 ♪ I got my bell, I’m gonna take you to hell ♪ 944 00:37:24,511 --> 00:37:27,514 ♪ I’m gonna get you, Satan get you ♪ 945 00:37:27,514 --> 00:37:29,916 - Baby Knife! - [groans] 946 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,187 - [screams] - Let’s see you grow 947 00:37:34,187 --> 00:37:34,921 your ****in’ head back. 948 00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:36,856 Wait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it. 949 00:37:36,856 --> 00:37:40,930 - Fix what? - Whatever it is that you did. 950 00:37:40,930 --> 00:37:42,195 Whatever made you so bad. 951 00:37:42,195 --> 00:37:43,196 Those... Those 952 00:37:43,196 --> 00:37:46,633 pricks in the TVA. You heard him. 953 00:37:46,633 --> 00:37:47,834 They have the power to end my universe, 954 00:37:47,834 --> 00:37:52,372 but they also have the power to change yours. 955 00:37:52,739 --> 00:37:56,710 We get back there, and we can fix your world. 956 00:37:56,710 --> 00:37:58,378 Together. 957 00:37:59,145 --> 00:38:00,914 I promise. 958 00:38:01,781 --> 00:38:03,516 They can fix it. 959 00:38:04,117 --> 00:38:05,118 [man] Hey! 960 00:38:05,118 --> 00:38:07,253 We fight each other, we lose. 961 00:38:07,253 --> 00:38:08,621 [Deadpool] Dear God, it’s him. 962 00:38:08,621 --> 00:38:10,690 - Who? - [Deadpool] The one. 963 00:38:10,690 --> 00:38:13,626 The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or Molly. 964 00:38:13,626 --> 00:38:16,830 White guys’ answer to all the disappointments. 965 00:38:16,830 --> 00:38:18,198 And another A-lister. 966 00:38:18,198 --> 00:38:18,965 Fair warning, gorgeous. 967 00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:21,101 You’re going to encounter some indelicate language, 968 00:38:21,101 --> 00:38:24,104 a smidge of *** play, but we’ve been prohibited 969 00:38:24,104 --> 00:38:25,638 from using cocaine. On camera. 970 00:38:25,638 --> 00:38:27,774 - [man] They’re coming. - [Deadpool] Who’s "they"? 971 00:38:27,774 --> 00:38:31,478 - [engines revving] - [♪ menacing music playing] 972 00:38:34,981 --> 00:38:37,283 Oh, they’re driving angry. 973 00:38:41,855 --> 00:38:42,322 [grunts] 974 00:38:42,322 --> 00:38:44,900 Now that’s a superhero landing. 975 00:38:44,900 --> 00:38:47,227 [♪ menacing music continues] 976 00:38:50,630 --> 00:38:51,631 [♪ music stops] 977 00:38:51,631 --> 00:38:52,499 I got this. 978 00:38:52,499 --> 00:38:55,402 [♪ menacing music resumes] 979 00:38:59,305 --> 00:39:00,907 [sniffs] 980 00:39:05,110 --> 00:39:07,800 [engines revving] 981 00:39:16,556 --> 00:39:17,557 Stay close. 982 00:39:17,557 --> 00:39:19,492 [Deadpool] Aye, aye, Cap’n. 983 00:39:20,226 --> 00:39:21,995 You got this. 984 00:39:22,629 --> 00:39:27,801 Cassandra is gonna be giddy when she sees what we caught. 985 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:29,350 You can’t run. 986 00:39:29,350 --> 00:39:29,969 Everybody knows that. 987 00:39:29,969 --> 00:39:33,106 You see anyone runnin’, **** for brains? 988 00:39:33,106 --> 00:39:34,607 You’re not gonna love what happens next. 989 00:39:34,607 --> 00:39:36,976 - [Deadpool] Oh. Oh, my God. - [♪ rousing music playing] 990 00:39:36,976 --> 00:39:39,646 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he’s gonna say it. 991 00:39:39,646 --> 00:39:40,714 - Ah! ****. - [Deadpool] Ha! 992 00:39:40,714 --> 00:39:42,115 Oh, my God! He’s gonna say it! 993 00:39:42,115 --> 00:39:43,883 - Say what? - Avengers, assemble... 994 00:39:43,883 --> 00:39:46,319 - Flame on! - I’m sorry, what now? 995 00:39:47,954 --> 00:39:50,924 [♪ epic music playing] 996 00:40:01,801 --> 00:40:04,237 [groans, panting] 997 00:40:05,238 --> 00:40:07,607 [screaming in distance] 998 00:40:07,607 --> 00:40:09,209 - [clang] - Ohh! 999 00:40:09,209 --> 00:40:10,577 ****! 1000 00:40:10,577 --> 00:40:12,120 Ahhh! 1001 00:40:12,178 --> 00:40:13,646 [grunts] 1002 00:40:13,646 --> 00:40:16,750 - We don’t know that guy. - [Deadpool] We thought we did. 1003 00:40:16,750 --> 00:40:18,218 I know you. 1004 00:40:18,218 --> 00:40:21,421 - [Deadpool] Holy sh-- - [Sabretooth snarls] 1005 00:40:21,654 --> 00:40:22,589 [growls] 1006 00:40:22,589 --> 00:40:23,990 Sabretooth. 1007 00:40:23,990 --> 00:40:25,759 Your brother. 1008 00:40:25,925 --> 00:40:27,270 Ready to die? 1009 00:40:27,270 --> 00:40:30,897 [Deadpool] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time! 1010 00:40:30,897 --> 00:40:32,980 You look ridiculous. 1011 00:40:32,980 --> 00:40:34,868 People have waited decades for this fight. 1012 00:40:34,868 --> 00:40:36,770 It’s not gonna be easy. Baby Knife. 1013 00:40:36,770 --> 00:40:38,872 Shoot the double, you take him down. 1014 00:40:38,872 --> 00:40:41,174 Side control, then full mount, 1015 00:40:41,174 --> 00:40:42,108 and you ground and pound 1016 00:40:42,108 --> 00:40:43,843 till he makes no sound because he’s dead. 1017 00:40:43,843 --> 00:40:46,120 - Shut the **** up! - [Deadpool] Oh, my God! 1018 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,748 Okay. Good luck. I’m a huge fan. 1019 00:40:48,748 --> 00:40:50,917 [breathing heavily] 1020 00:40:52,180 --> 00:40:53,453 [laughs] 1021 00:40:54,154 --> 00:40:57,424 [roars] 1022 00:41:00,260 --> 00:41:01,695 - [gurgling] - [Deadpool] What is it, girl? 1023 00:41:01,695 --> 00:41:04,898 - Is there trouble at the well? - [flesh squelching] 1024 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,400 [laughs] Big trouble. 1025 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:12,172 Behold! 1026 00:41:12,172 --> 00:41:15,942 The head of your precious queen, 1027 00:41:15,942 --> 00:41:17,344 Furiosa! 1028 00:41:17,777 --> 00:41:19,679 I have the Wolverine! 1029 00:41:19,679 --> 00:41:23,160 I alone control her! 1030 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,251 You come for me, 1031 00:41:25,251 --> 00:41:28,388 you come for her. 1032 00:41:28,855 --> 00:41:30,790 So sorry. I know it’s pronounced "him." 1033 00:41:30,790 --> 00:41:33,293 I’m gender blind. It’s my cross to bear. 1034 00:41:33,293 --> 00:41:34,627 Who’s next? 1035 00:41:34,627 --> 00:41:35,962 - Toad! - [snarls] 1036 00:41:35,962 --> 00:41:37,764 You’re up. 1037 00:41:39,966 --> 00:41:41,134 [yells] 1038 00:41:41,134 --> 00:41:42,836 [both grunt] 1039 00:41:44,104 --> 00:41:45,500 [Deadpool] Uh-oh. 1040 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:46,773 - Oh, holy sh-- - ****. 1041 00:41:46,773 --> 00:41:48,208 [thud] 1042 00:41:48,908 --> 00:41:51,511 [creatures squeaking] 1043 00:41:55,148 --> 00:41:57,751 [Deadpool groans, mumbles] 1044 00:41:57,751 --> 00:42:00,200 [Deadpool] God of Thunder. 1045 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,756 [Deadpool grunts] 1046 00:42:03,123 --> 00:42:04,624 How long was I asleep? 1047 00:42:04,624 --> 00:42:06,590 Not all of you was asleep. 1048 00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:07,994 - [Deadpool grunts] - Don’t bother. 1049 00:42:07,994 --> 00:42:09,929 They’re very thorough. 1050 00:42:09,929 --> 00:42:13,166 If you know where we are, start talking. 1051 00:42:13,166 --> 00:42:14,768 You’re in The Void. 1052 00:42:14,768 --> 00:42:16,603 Think of it as purgatory. 1053 00:42:16,603 --> 00:42:19,205 Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard. 1054 00:42:19,205 --> 00:42:20,573 Where anything useless goes 1055 00:42:20,573 --> 00:42:22,575 before it gets annihilated forever. 1056 00:42:22,575 --> 00:42:25,712 And where the TVA sends people that don’t play nice 1057 00:42:25,712 --> 00:42:27,147 with the rest of the multiverse. 1058 00:42:27,147 --> 00:42:28,548 - Like you? - And you. 1059 00:42:28,548 --> 00:42:31,151 [Deadpool] What does the annihilating? 1060 00:42:31,151 --> 00:42:31,718 Alioth. 1061 00:42:31,718 --> 00:42:33,119 [Deadpool] Alioth is in this thing? 1062 00:42:33,119 --> 00:42:35,121 From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5? 1063 00:42:35,121 --> 00:42:38,291 Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. 1064 00:42:38,291 --> 00:42:39,826 Most don’t make it. 1065 00:42:39,826 --> 00:42:41,594 There’s a resistance, though. 1066 00:42:41,594 --> 00:42:44,698 Other people like us that managed to survive. 1067 00:42:44,698 --> 00:42:46,660 They’re hidin’ out in the borderlands, 1068 00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:49,200 trying to find a way the **** outta here. 1069 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,270 Then that’s where we go. 1070 00:42:50,270 --> 00:42:52,105 [Deadpool] "We"? Us? A team? 1071 00:42:52,105 --> 00:42:55,410 The answer is yes. Shake on it. 1072 00:42:55,410 --> 00:42:55,809 ****! You nicked it. 1073 00:42:55,809 --> 00:42:57,811 Just got the tip with your little steak knife. 1074 00:42:57,811 --> 00:43:00,580 These "others" can help us get back to the TVA. 1075 00:43:00,580 --> 00:43:01,614 Make ’em fix things. 1076 00:43:01,614 --> 00:43:03,817 [laughs sardonically] 1077 00:43:03,817 --> 00:43:04,918 Something funny, bub? 1078 00:43:04,918 --> 00:43:07,287 She might have somethin’ to say about that. 1079 00:43:07,287 --> 00:43:09,890 Who’s "she"? 1080 00:43:09,823 --> 00:43:10,757 In The Void, 1081 00:43:10,757 --> 00:43:13,293 you’re either food for Alioth 1082 00:43:13,293 --> 00:43:15,128 or you work for her. 1083 00:43:15,128 --> 00:43:18,231 [♪ stirring music playing] 1084 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:29,175 [engine roars] 1085 00:43:37,830 --> 00:43:38,985 [metal creaking] 1086 00:43:39,850 --> 00:43:41,221 [heavy metallic thud] 1087 00:43:48,128 --> 00:43:50,330 [engine roaring] 1088 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,777 [♪ tense music playing] 1089 00:44:12,352 --> 00:44:13,720 [grunts] 1090 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:15,422 [growls quietly] 1091 00:44:15,822 --> 00:44:17,223 [grunts] 1092 00:44:27,267 --> 00:44:30,303 [Deadpool] Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged. 1093 00:44:30,303 --> 00:44:31,971 Oh, you must be this year’s Juggernaut. 1094 00:44:31,971 --> 00:44:34,740 - Thank you. - I’d keep your voices down. 1095 00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:35,608 She don’t like the chatter. 1096 00:44:35,608 --> 00:44:37,510 She’s gonna love you. 1097 00:44:37,844 --> 00:44:41,114 [♪ slow dramatic music building] 1098 00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:54,594 [Deadpool] Is it... Is that Charles? 1099 00:44:54,594 --> 00:44:57,300 Hey... Hey, Chuck! It’s us! 1100 00:44:57,300 --> 00:44:58,531 That’s not Chuck. 1101 00:44:58,531 --> 00:45:00,233 Ah, shit. 1102 00:45:00,767 --> 00:45:01,801 [Deadpool] Oh, ableism. Great. 1103 00:45:01,801 --> 00:45:05,105 That’s not gonna go over well with the woke mob. 1104 00:45:05,105 --> 00:45:06,706 A Wolverine. 1105 00:45:06,706 --> 00:45:10,760 I wondered when I’d get one of you. 1106 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:10,877 You’re one of Xavier’s. 1107 00:45:10,877 --> 00:45:13,179 [Deadpool] You-You know him? You know Chuck? 1108 00:45:13,179 --> 00:45:14,581 Oh, I knew him. 1109 00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:15,515 We shared a womb. 1110 00:45:15,515 --> 00:45:18,184 Tried to strangle the sly little fellow 1111 00:45:18,184 --> 00:45:18,918 with my umbilical cord. 1112 00:45:18,918 --> 00:45:22,989 [Deadpool] Amen. I’ve never loved roommates. Mine’s blind. 1113 00:45:22,989 --> 00:45:24,824 Except she can see cocaine. 1114 00:45:24,824 --> 00:45:25,625 For some... reason. 1115 00:45:25,625 --> 00:45:29,596 You want to chime in, Your Majesty? I’m dying here. 1116 00:45:29,596 --> 00:45:30,196 Who are you? 1117 00:45:30,196 --> 00:45:33,199 Charles Xavier’s twin, Cassandra Nova. 1118 00:45:35,135 --> 00:45:37,570 Hmm. You two are cute. 1119 00:45:37,570 --> 00:45:40,140 I have a good feeling about this. 1120 00:45:42,142 --> 00:45:43,276 And I’ve been trying to catch 1121 00:45:43,276 --> 00:45:46,179 this little firefly for years. 1122 00:45:46,179 --> 00:45:47,247 Haven’t I, Johnny? 1123 00:45:47,247 --> 00:45:50,784 Aw... You picked the wrong time to make new friends. 1124 00:45:50,784 --> 00:45:53,186 [Deadpool] Oh, Johnny told us all about you. 1125 00:45:53,186 --> 00:45:54,921 - Maybe shut up now. - Yeah, maybe don’t-- 1126 00:45:54,921 --> 00:45:56,322 [Deadpool] We’re just talkin’ here. 1127 00:45:56,322 --> 00:45:57,570 Yeah, Johnny told us 1128 00:45:57,570 --> 00:45:58,892 you’re a psychotic megalomaniacal ***hole. 1129 00:45:58,892 --> 00:46:03,997 His words, not mine. Hellbent on domination and pain. 1130 00:46:04,164 --> 00:46:05,932 You said all that about me? 1131 00:46:05,932 --> 00:46:06,933 No! No! I don’t... 1132 00:46:06,933 --> 00:46:10,503 - I didn’t say any of that! - Sticks and stones, Johnny! 1133 00:46:11,171 --> 00:46:13,390 Don’t let her intimidate you. 1134 00:46:13,390 --> 00:46:14,941 It’s like you said in the convoy. 1135 00:46:14,941 --> 00:46:16,776 This finger-lickin’ dead-inside 1136 00:46:16,776 --> 00:46:19,779 pixie slab of third rate dime-store nut-milk 1137 00:46:19,779 --> 00:46:21,648 can eat your delicious cinnamon ring 1138 00:46:21,648 --> 00:46:23,750 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 1139 00:46:23,750 --> 00:46:25,685 Okay. I have never said any of those words 1140 00:46:25,685 --> 00:46:28,154 - in my entire life! - [Deadpool] Ha! The modesty. 1141 00:46:28,154 --> 00:46:30,623 People think I’m a shit talker. 1142 00:46:30,623 --> 00:46:31,591 But this guy... 1143 00:46:31,591 --> 00:46:32,759 [smooches] Next level. 1144 00:46:32,759 --> 00:46:34,494 What? This... I... We... 1145 00:46:34,494 --> 00:46:35,829 I don’t even know what half of that means! 1146 00:46:35,829 --> 00:46:37,964 - This... I... - My hat’s off to you, sir. 1147 00:46:37,964 --> 00:46:38,832 - Truly. - What? This... 1148 00:46:38,832 --> 00:46:41,234 I didn’t... He’s... That’s... I... 1149 00:46:41,234 --> 00:46:42,502 I... I don’t-- 1150 00:46:42,502 --> 00:46:45,338 - [Deadpool gasps] - [heart beats] 1151 00:46:47,474 --> 00:46:48,842 [Deadpool] Not my favorite Chris. 1152 00:46:48,842 --> 00:46:50,760 You stupid piece of shit. 1153 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:51,111 You just got him ****ing killed! 1154 00:46:51,111 --> 00:46:52,746 [Deadpool] Hey! We’re all grieving! 1155 00:46:52,746 --> 00:46:55,815 PS, do you know what he was doing to the budget? 1156 00:46:55,815 --> 00:46:57,517 [shushing] 1157 00:46:58,184 --> 00:47:00,253 Alioth is hungry. 1158 00:47:00,253 --> 00:47:02,880 [Deadpool] There’s been some kind of mistake. 1159 00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:03,957 Big yellow is a back-up Anchor Being, 1160 00:47:03,957 --> 00:47:07,270 and I’m Marvel Jesus. MJ, if you’re nasty. 1161 00:47:07,270 --> 00:47:07,861 This may be hard to hear, 1162 00:47:07,861 --> 00:47:09,596 but there’s another British villain 1163 00:47:09,596 --> 00:47:11,640 who’s gonna destroy my universe, 1164 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:11,831 and I’m gonna stop him. 1165 00:47:11,831 --> 00:47:13,666 Oh, honey, you don’t really strike me 1166 00:47:13,666 --> 00:47:16,360 as the world-saving type. 1167 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,804 [thunder rumbling in distance] 1168 00:47:17,804 --> 00:47:19,105 Did I hit a nerve? 1169 00:47:19,105 --> 00:47:22,800 [Deadpool] I didn’t want it to come to this. 1170 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:22,709 Either you help us 1171 00:47:22,709 --> 00:47:23,977 or my friend here is gonna sing 1172 00:47:23,977 --> 00:47:26,279 the entire second act of Music Man 1173 00:47:26,279 --> 00:47:28,810 with zero warm-up. 1174 00:47:28,810 --> 00:47:29,115 Where’d you get the chair? 1175 00:47:29,115 --> 00:47:30,216 [Cassandra Nova] Well, once in a while, 1176 00:47:30,216 --> 00:47:32,619 I do get a Charles through here. 1177 00:47:32,619 --> 00:47:33,887 Never mine, though. 1178 00:47:33,887 --> 00:47:36,690 No. He didn’t care to find me. 1179 00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:40,930 [Deadpool groans] Gen Z and their trauma-bragging! 1180 00:47:40,930 --> 00:47:43,663 Can’t you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment 1181 00:47:43,663 --> 00:47:45,265 or cancer like the rest of us? 1182 00:47:45,265 --> 00:47:47,200 But I’m not like the rest of you. 1183 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,802 Except maybe the Wolverine. 1184 00:47:48,802 --> 00:47:51,938 Now, we could be truly terrifying together. 1185 00:47:51,938 --> 00:47:53,106 You’re that scary, huh? 1186 00:47:53,106 --> 00:47:55,175 The TVA certainly thought so. 1187 00:47:55,175 --> 00:47:57,911 They sent me here before I could walk. 1188 00:47:57,911 --> 00:47:59,679 And you know, it’s the best thing 1189 00:47:59,679 --> 00:48:01,715 that ever happened to me. 1190 00:48:01,715 --> 00:48:02,315 I love it here. 1191 00:48:02,315 --> 00:48:03,483 [Deadpool] You live in a garbage dump. 1192 00:48:03,483 --> 00:48:07,253 I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. 1193 00:48:07,253 --> 00:48:08,722 The Void is a paradise. 1194 00:48:08,722 --> 00:48:12,826 I can wield my power here without shame. 1195 00:48:12,826 --> 00:48:15,261 Unfortunately I had no Charles Xavier 1196 00:48:15,261 --> 00:48:17,263 to teach me temperance. 1197 00:48:17,263 --> 00:48:19,265 What about your Charles? 1198 00:48:19,265 --> 00:48:21,101 Did he protect you? 1199 00:48:21,101 --> 00:48:23,103 Did he make you feel safe? 1200 00:48:23,103 --> 00:48:25,710 We’re mutants. We’re never safe. 1201 00:48:25,710 --> 00:48:28,241 - [roars] - [Cassandra whoops] 1202 00:48:28,241 --> 00:48:29,909 [chuckles] 1203 00:48:29,909 --> 00:48:31,378 [whoops] 1204 00:48:32,946 --> 00:48:34,180 [Deadpool] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1205 00:48:34,180 --> 00:48:35,982 I don’t... I don’t want the smoke. 1206 00:48:35,982 --> 00:48:37,150 I don’t have any beef with you. 1207 00:48:37,150 --> 00:48:38,985 I just want to save my friends. 1208 00:48:38,985 --> 00:48:39,919 I just... I want to go home. 1209 00:48:39,919 --> 00:48:42,880 Well, the thing is, I could get you home. 1210 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,790 - Good. - But I don’t want to. 1211 00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:47,270 [Deadpool] Not good. [groaning] 1212 00:48:48,595 --> 00:48:50,697 What do you want, Wade Wilson? 1213 00:48:50,697 --> 00:48:53,833 [Deadpool straining] Your... fingers are inside me, 1214 00:48:53,833 --> 00:48:54,601 but not in a good way. 1215 00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:57,937 My brother could enter one’s mind with a thought. 1216 00:48:57,937 --> 00:49:00,106 I have to get my hands dirty. 1217 00:49:00,106 --> 00:49:03,410 - [Deadpool groaning] - [shushing] 1218 00:49:03,576 --> 00:49:05,412 I’ve got you. 1219 00:49:06,913 --> 00:49:09,149 [whispers] I’ve got you... 1220 00:49:10,517 --> 00:49:12,786 [Wade, muffled] What do you mean? 1221 00:49:13,186 --> 00:49:16,756 I can’t... I can’t reach you. You’re not here. 1222 00:49:16,756 --> 00:49:17,791 I’m right here. 1223 00:49:17,791 --> 00:49:20,960 - No, you’re not. I can’t... - I’m right here. 1224 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,197 Then show me. You got to do something. 1225 00:49:24,864 --> 00:49:25,632 Show you what? 1226 00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:29,436 Show me you care about something bigger than you. 1227 00:49:29,436 --> 00:49:34,674 Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee. 1228 00:49:34,674 --> 00:49:37,444 Baby, you never got back up. 1229 00:49:38,578 --> 00:49:40,680 I know you’re going through something. 1230 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,949 Let me go through it with you. 1231 00:49:42,949 --> 00:49:46,820 - Your crazy matches my crazy. - Your crazy matches my crazy. 1232 00:49:49,389 --> 00:49:51,191 Where’d you go? 1233 00:49:51,191 --> 00:49:53,293 [Wade] Oh, my God. 1234 00:49:53,727 --> 00:49:55,595 [♪ melancholy music playing] 1235 00:49:55,595 --> 00:49:57,964 You just say it. Okay? 1236 00:49:57,964 --> 00:49:58,998 Say, "I don’t want you. 1237 00:49:58,998 --> 00:50:00,934 "I don’t want to be with you." 1238 00:50:00,934 --> 00:50:02,702 Go ahead. Say it. Say... Say, "I don’t..." 1239 00:50:02,702 --> 00:50:04,370 Say it. You don’t wanna be with me. 1240 00:50:04,370 --> 00:50:05,872 Tell me that and I’ll walk away. 1241 00:50:05,872 --> 00:50:06,773 Say, "I don’t want you." 1242 00:50:06,773 --> 00:50:10,430 [♪ melancholy music continues] 1243 00:50:13,346 --> 00:50:14,781 [sighs] ****... 1244 00:50:14,781 --> 00:50:18,218 You’ll never ****ing matter. 1245 00:50:21,688 --> 00:50:22,756 What? 1246 00:50:22,756 --> 00:50:25,859 - You’ll never ****ing matter. - ****ing matter. 1247 00:50:25,859 --> 00:50:29,162 [♪ melancholy music continues] 1248 00:50:31,698 --> 00:50:33,566 - never... - never... 1249 00:50:33,566 --> 00:50:34,868 - ****ing... - ****ing... 1250 00:50:34,868 --> 00:50:38,538 - matter. - matter... 1251 00:50:39,606 --> 00:50:41,107 [Deadpool] She never said that. 1252 00:50:41,107 --> 00:50:42,800 - [Cassandra] No. - [groans] 1253 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,377 [in mocking tone] But I bet she thought it. 1254 00:50:44,377 --> 00:50:45,111 [Deadpool splutters] 1255 00:50:45,111 --> 00:50:47,847 [Deadpool groans] You are so mean! 1256 00:50:47,847 --> 00:50:49,282 My brain could taste your fingers, 1257 00:50:49,282 --> 00:50:50,950 and they tasted like hate! 1258 00:50:50,950 --> 00:50:54,154 And where in God’s name is the intimacy coordinator? 1259 00:50:54,154 --> 00:50:56,956 You’re so lost, Mr. Wilson. 1260 00:50:56,956 --> 00:51:00,193 And long before you came here. 1261 00:51:00,927 --> 00:51:01,661 This is Baby Knife. 1262 00:51:01,661 --> 00:51:03,296 She’s gonna **** you in the face now. 1263 00:51:03,296 --> 00:51:04,640 If you want to kill me, 1264 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,332 it’s going to take more than a little blade. 1265 00:51:06,332 --> 00:51:07,867 [Deadpool] How about six? 1266 00:51:07,867 --> 00:51:12,380 [laughs mockingly] My boy’s wicked strong. 1267 00:51:12,380 --> 00:51:13,773 That’s my big boy. 1268 00:51:13,773 --> 00:51:15,442 Yes, you are. 1269 00:51:15,442 --> 00:51:17,110 [groans] 1270 00:51:17,377 --> 00:51:18,978 [laughs] 1271 00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:22,182 [Cassandra] Well, this has been fun. 1272 00:51:22,182 --> 00:51:24,784 But the big guy needs to eat, and the rent is due. 1273 00:51:24,784 --> 00:51:27,520 - [eerie roar] - [thunder roaring] 1274 00:51:28,655 --> 00:51:29,723 By the way, 1275 00:51:29,723 --> 00:51:31,224 you’re the rent. 1276 00:51:31,224 --> 00:51:33,927 [rumbling] 1277 00:51:41,234 --> 00:51:42,969 [roars] 1278 00:51:45,638 --> 00:51:47,340 [henchmen screaming] 1279 00:51:49,843 --> 00:51:52,712 - [electrical whine] - Come on! ****! 1280 00:51:52,712 --> 00:51:54,280 - [engine starts] - You comin’ or what? 1281 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,116 [Deadpool] Coming! 1282 00:52:05,358 --> 00:52:08,528 [engine sputtering in distance] 1283 00:52:10,196 --> 00:52:12,866 - [distant scream] - [engine bursts] 1284 00:52:12,866 --> 00:52:14,200 [grunting] 1285 00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,402 [both groan] 1286 00:52:15,402 --> 00:52:16,169 What you thinkin’ ’bout? 1287 00:52:16,169 --> 00:52:17,771 - Get the **** off of me! - Shh, shh, shh. 1288 00:52:17,771 --> 00:52:19,906 - [strains] Almost done. - Almost done what? 1289 00:52:19,906 --> 00:52:22,108 Getting my knife out of your buttocks, 1290 00:52:22,108 --> 00:52:23,877 - pervert! - Aah! ****! 1291 00:52:23,877 --> 00:52:25,612 Get your mind out of my pants! 1292 00:52:25,612 --> 00:52:28,782 - I’m telling Blake. - New rules. 1293 00:52:28,782 --> 00:52:29,382 I talk now. 1294 00:52:29,382 --> 00:52:31,151 That’s gonna be very hard on the audience. 1295 00:52:31,151 --> 00:52:33,720 Shut the **** up! 1296 00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:34,487 Let me ****in’ think. 1297 00:52:34,487 --> 00:52:37,524 Now we gotta get back to Paradox, right? 1298 00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:39,793 Right? 1299 00:52:39,793 --> 00:52:42,696 Je m’excuse. Am I allowed to speak now or-- 1300 00:52:42,696 --> 00:52:45,598 Just nod, ***hole. 1301 00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:47,333 Right. 1302 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:48,668 Then we find the others that poor kid, Johnny, 1303 00:52:48,668 --> 00:52:50,103 was talking about before you got him killed! 1304 00:52:50,103 --> 00:52:52,500 [Deadpool] "Poor kid." He’s, like, 50! 1305 00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:53,390 Yeah, if there’s a chance they know 1306 00:52:53,390 --> 00:52:54,607 how to get out of here, we find ’em. 1307 00:52:54,607 --> 00:52:56,943 And make those TVA ****ers fix my shit 1308 00:52:56,943 --> 00:52:58,278 like you ****ing promised! 1309 00:52:58,278 --> 00:53:00,460 [Deadpool] I smell quest. 1310 00:53:00,460 --> 00:53:02,480 [sniffing] 1311 00:53:02,749 --> 00:53:04,317 I smell food. 1312 00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:11,124 So what made you finally wear an honest-to-God costume? 1313 00:53:11,591 --> 00:53:13,626 Mine’s red so they can’t see me bleed. 1314 00:53:13,626 --> 00:53:16,763 But I could see how yellow would be useful too. 1315 00:53:16,763 --> 00:53:18,998 Have you been checked for ADHD? 1316 00:53:18,998 --> 00:53:19,966 Mm-mm. 1317 00:53:19,966 --> 00:53:21,901 But I’ve had several STDs, 1318 00:53:21,901 --> 00:53:24,637 which were probably caused by ADHD. 1319 00:53:24,637 --> 00:53:26,139 ****! 1320 00:53:26,272 --> 00:53:28,208 What are you looking for? 1321 00:53:28,208 --> 00:53:30,176 Oh. Thank ****. 1322 00:53:30,176 --> 00:53:32,145 No, no, no, no, no. That’s rubbing alcohol. 1323 00:53:32,145 --> 00:53:33,913 You don’t want to drink-- Oh, yeah. 1324 00:53:33,913 --> 00:53:36,490 There you go. **** that liver. 1325 00:53:36,490 --> 00:53:36,883 [exhales] 1326 00:53:36,883 --> 00:53:39,486 - Good. Okay. - [sighs] 1327 00:53:39,853 --> 00:53:41,621 What the **** are those? 1328 00:53:41,855 --> 00:53:42,322 Oh. 1329 00:53:42,322 --> 00:53:44,324 Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee, 1330 00:53:44,324 --> 00:53:46,359 but nobody knows. [chuckles] 1331 00:53:46,359 --> 00:53:48,128 [laughing] 1332 00:53:48,728 --> 00:53:50,864 Everybody knows. 1333 00:53:52,298 --> 00:53:53,666 Wanna talk about what’s haunting you, 1334 00:53:53,666 --> 00:53:56,469 or should we wait for a third act flashback? 1335 00:53:56,469 --> 00:53:59,239 Ah... Go **** yourself. 1336 00:54:01,975 --> 00:54:03,510 You know... 1337 00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,414 in my world, you’re... [clears throat] 1338 00:54:07,947 --> 00:54:09,215 You’re well regarded. 1339 00:54:09,215 --> 00:54:11,484 Yeah, well, not in mine. 1340 00:54:11,484 --> 00:54:13,887 They don’t like me much in mine either. 1341 00:54:13,887 --> 00:54:14,821 You don’t say. 1342 00:54:14,821 --> 00:54:17,891 I wanted to be something, you know. I... 1343 00:54:17,891 --> 00:54:19,759 Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger. 1344 00:54:19,759 --> 00:54:21,695 - **** the Avengers. - Yeah. 1345 00:54:21,695 --> 00:54:25,298 I didn’t make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men... 1346 00:54:26,366 --> 00:54:27,233 When my girlfriend left me, 1347 00:54:27,233 --> 00:54:29,803 - and I just-- - You had a girlfriend? 1348 00:54:29,803 --> 00:54:31,271 Yeah. 1349 00:54:31,271 --> 00:54:32,238 Vanessa. 1350 00:54:32,238 --> 00:54:34,607 When we met, she was a dancer. 1351 00:54:35,108 --> 00:54:36,976 We had a whole life. 1352 00:54:37,677 --> 00:54:39,120 It was good. 1353 00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,480 But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah. 1354 00:54:42,415 --> 00:54:44,918 ****ed that right up. 1355 00:54:45,218 --> 00:54:46,152 But you, 1356 00:54:46,152 --> 00:54:47,870 you were an X-Man. 1357 00:54:47,870 --> 00:54:50,223 **** that. You were the X-Man. You... 1358 00:54:51,391 --> 00:54:53,293 The Wolverine. 1359 00:54:54,828 --> 00:54:57,230 He was a hero in my world. 1360 00:54:58,431 --> 00:55:00,166 Yeah, well... 1361 00:55:00,633 --> 00:55:02,469 he ain’t shit in mine. 1362 00:55:06,773 --> 00:55:10,510 You said, "Logan was a hero." What happened? 1363 00:55:11,110 --> 00:55:12,412 He died. 1364 00:55:12,679 --> 00:55:13,146 How? 1365 00:55:13,146 --> 00:55:16,820 Well, technically, you were chest-****ed by a tree, but, 1366 00:55:16,820 --> 00:55:17,984 really, you just ran out of batteries 1367 00:55:17,984 --> 00:55:20,860 - trying to save someone. - Who? 1368 00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:22,288 The shitheels that grew her in a lab 1369 00:55:22,288 --> 00:55:24,591 called her "X-23." But... 1370 00:55:24,724 --> 00:55:25,825 she was just a kid. 1371 00:55:25,825 --> 00:55:29,996 A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. 1372 00:55:29,996 --> 00:55:31,965 You died trying to save her. 1373 00:55:31,965 --> 00:55:32,932 It was beautiful. 1374 00:55:32,932 --> 00:55:35,869 Look, mijo, I know you’re hurtin’. 1375 00:55:35,869 --> 00:55:38,138 My blind, elderly, African-American roommate, 1376 00:55:38,138 --> 00:55:41,641 Blind Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are. 1377 00:55:41,641 --> 00:55:43,677 Sometimes we need to listen to that pain 1378 00:55:43,677 --> 00:55:44,577 instead of running from it. 1379 00:55:44,577 --> 00:55:45,945 - Holy shit. - Yeah, she’s wise. 1380 00:55:45,945 --> 00:55:49,215 No, no, no. That’s her name? You call her "Blind Al"? 1381 00:55:49,215 --> 00:55:50,917 Well, she’s blind. 1382 00:55:50,917 --> 00:55:51,551 [dog barking] 1383 00:55:51,551 --> 00:55:55,855 [♪ ballad music plays, Chris de Burgh "The Lady in Red"] 1384 00:56:01,127 --> 00:56:05,765 ♪ I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight ♪ 1385 00:56:05,765 --> 00:56:13,600 ♪ I’ve never seen you shine so bright, mm-hmm, hmm ♪ 1386 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:17,610 ♪ The lady in red ♪ 1387 00:56:18,945 --> 00:56:22,849 ♪ Is dancing with me ♪ 1388 00:56:23,149 --> 00:56:25,118 ♪ Cheek to cheek ♪ 1389 00:56:25,118 --> 00:56:28,210 ♪ There’s nobody here...♪ 1390 00:56:28,210 --> 00:56:29,189 Look at you! 1391 00:56:29,189 --> 00:56:29,956 She’s coming with us. 1392 00:56:29,956 --> 00:56:32,920 - No, she’s not. **** no! - Oh, yes, she is. 1393 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:33,259 - Oh, yes-- - [man] Sorry! 1394 00:56:33,259 --> 00:56:36,329 - [♪ song stops] - Sorry about that! 1395 00:56:36,329 --> 00:56:38,865 Come here, girl! [chuckles] 1396 00:56:38,865 --> 00:56:40,330 Who are you? 1397 00:56:40,330 --> 00:56:41,340 Oh, I’m Deadpool. 1398 00:56:41,340 --> 00:56:42,669 And I guess you’re Deadpool too. 1399 00:56:42,669 --> 00:56:44,738 But in here, everybody calls me "Nicepool." 1400 00:56:44,738 --> 00:56:47,107 Oh, my goodness. Wait till you see Ladypool. 1401 00:56:47,107 --> 00:56:47,874 She is gorgeous. 1402 00:56:47,874 --> 00:56:50,677 She just had a baby too. And... [blows sharply] 1403 00:56:50,677 --> 00:56:51,277 Can’t even tell. 1404 00:56:51,277 --> 00:56:53,146 I don’t think you’re supposed to say that. 1405 00:56:53,146 --> 00:56:54,381 That’s okay. 1406 00:56:54,381 --> 00:56:56,349 I identify as a feminist. 1407 00:56:56,349 --> 00:56:57,984 Right. 1408 00:56:58,918 --> 00:56:59,953 Are those gold-plated, 1409 00:56:59,953 --> 00:57:02,722 ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros? 1410 00:57:02,722 --> 00:57:03,490 ’Course. 1411 00:57:03,490 --> 00:57:04,991 To match my ear huggie. 1412 00:57:04,991 --> 00:57:06,590 Can I have ’em? 1413 00:57:06,590 --> 00:57:08,940 [laughs] Over my dead body. 1414 00:57:08,940 --> 00:57:08,862 [chuckles] You’re fun. 1415 00:57:08,862 --> 00:57:12,320 And I guess you’ve already met Mary Puppins. 1416 00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:13,266 AKA Dogpool. 1417 00:57:13,266 --> 00:57:14,367 Careful where you put your hands. 1418 00:57:14,367 --> 00:57:17,370 She’s ninety percent g-spot, and she’ll let you know it. 1419 00:57:17,370 --> 00:57:21,174 You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second 1420 00:57:21,174 --> 00:57:23,343 and she starts shopping for a new papa. 1421 00:57:23,343 --> 00:57:25,245 If you can’t be a responsible pet owner, 1422 00:57:25,245 --> 00:57:28,281 then maybe you don’t deserve this little unicorn. 1423 00:57:28,281 --> 00:57:30,917 Guilty on all charges, Your Honor. 1424 00:57:30,917 --> 00:57:31,985 Shan’t happen again. 1425 00:57:31,985 --> 00:57:33,153 Why are you so nice? 1426 00:57:33,153 --> 00:57:34,754 Oh, it costs nothing to be kind. 1427 00:57:34,754 --> 00:57:36,723 Shutting the **** up is also free. 1428 00:57:36,723 --> 00:57:38,425 - Caliente. - This is Logan. 1429 00:57:38,425 --> 00:57:39,159 He’s usually shirtless, 1430 00:57:39,159 --> 00:57:42,162 but he’s let himself go since the divorce. 1431 00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:45,650 Where’s your mask? 1432 00:57:47,330 --> 00:57:47,867 Come on, guys. 1433 00:57:47,867 --> 00:57:49,636 [bird screeches in distance] 1434 00:57:49,636 --> 00:57:50,270 Ugh, this guy. 1435 00:57:50,270 --> 00:57:52,720 We’re looking for a group of survivors. 1436 00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:52,906 Oh, they’re out there. 1437 00:57:52,906 --> 00:57:54,607 Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope 1438 00:57:54,607 --> 00:57:56,843 that you don’t run into the Deadpool corps. 1439 00:57:56,843 --> 00:57:57,577 Yeah, they’re crazy. 1440 00:57:57,577 --> 00:57:59,245 They will chop you up into a thousand pieces 1441 00:57:59,245 --> 00:58:00,280 and hide you all over The Void. 1442 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,315 If they could only process their childhood trauma, 1443 00:58:02,315 --> 00:58:04,284 they’d go on one heck of a healing journey. 1444 00:58:04,284 --> 00:58:05,985 Look, we’re headed for the borderlands. 1445 00:58:05,985 --> 00:58:06,853 You know where it is? 1446 00:58:06,853 --> 00:58:09,789 Yeah, that... that’s 12 klicks due west. 1447 00:58:09,789 --> 00:58:11,424 I can lend you my ride, if you like. 1448 00:58:11,424 --> 00:58:14,194 It would be my honor. 1449 00:58:16,290 --> 00:58:16,629 [birds chirping] 1450 00:58:16,629 --> 00:58:18,965 [Deadpool] Oh, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. 1451 00:58:18,965 --> 00:58:21,234 Uh-uh. What the... No! No! 1452 00:58:21,234 --> 00:58:22,335 Just get in the car. 1453 00:58:22,335 --> 00:58:23,303 This isn’t a car. 1454 00:58:23,303 --> 00:58:25,672 This is a Honda ****in’ Odyssey. 1455 00:58:25,672 --> 00:58:27,941 Throttle response sucks a ****. 1456 00:58:27,941 --> 00:58:28,908 Dated infotainment system. 1457 00:58:28,908 --> 00:58:31,110 When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia 1458 00:58:31,110 --> 00:58:31,778 was makin’ a comeback, 1459 00:58:31,778 --> 00:58:34,981 they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. 1460 00:58:34,981 --> 00:58:37,784 Get in the ****ing car. 1461 00:58:37,784 --> 00:58:40,530 She’ll get you there safe and sound. 1462 00:58:40,530 --> 00:58:41,755 Old Betsy always does. 1463 00:58:41,755 --> 00:58:44,691 You’re gonna have to give me my dog back, though. 1464 00:58:44,691 --> 00:58:45,825 [Deadpool] I know. Listen. 1465 00:58:45,825 --> 00:58:46,926 - [Dogpool whimpers] - Yes, child. 1466 00:58:46,926 --> 00:58:49,662 If you ever wanna give her up, or if she needs a new home, 1467 00:58:49,662 --> 00:58:52,650 or if something should happen to you, 1468 00:58:52,650 --> 00:58:52,799 I’d love to be her papa. 1469 00:58:52,799 --> 00:58:55,602 [laughs] What would ever happen to me? 1470 00:58:55,602 --> 00:58:57,504 [Deadpool] Lots of stuff. 1471 00:59:00,340 --> 00:59:01,675 - Jesus. - [Deadpool] No! 1472 00:59:01,675 --> 00:59:02,909 We’re running away. [grunts] 1473 00:59:02,909 --> 00:59:05,111 - [Wolverine] Give me that. - The corn was too dense, girl! 1474 00:59:05,111 --> 00:59:06,179 - [Wolverine] There. - Come here! 1475 00:59:06,179 --> 00:59:08,615 - [Deadpool] ****! - [Nicepool] Hello! 1476 00:59:09,716 --> 00:59:10,550 - [engine starts] - Bye. 1477 00:59:10,550 --> 00:59:13,887 [♪ Avril Lavigne "I’m With You" plays on car stereo] 1478 00:59:13,887 --> 00:59:14,354 [sighs] 1479 00:59:14,354 --> 00:59:18,191 ♪ It’s a damn cold night ♪ 1480 00:59:18,191 --> 00:59:22,996 ♪ Trying to figure out this life ♪ 1481 00:59:22,996 --> 00:59:25,965 ♪ Won’t you take me by the hand?♪ 1482 00:59:25,965 --> 00:59:28,100 ♪ Take me somewhere new ♪ 1483 00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:33,106 ♪ I don’t know who you are But I ♪ 1484 00:59:33,106 --> 00:59:36,309 ♪ I’m with you...♪ 1485 00:59:36,309 --> 00:59:38,278 [Deadpool] Okay, I’m just gonna ask... 1486 00:59:38,278 --> 00:59:39,145 What’s with the suit? 1487 00:59:39,145 --> 00:59:40,947 First thing I did when I flamed out, 1488 00:59:40,947 --> 00:59:42,148 - I took mine off. - Drop it. 1489 00:59:42,148 --> 00:59:43,490 [Deadpool] It’s not that ugly. 1490 00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:45,118 - Stop talking about my suit. - Did you make it yourself? 1491 00:59:45,118 --> 00:59:46,520 - Been there. - Quit. Now. 1492 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,322 The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of ****in’ *****es. 1493 00:59:49,322 --> 00:59:50,924 They are not your friends, I’ll tell you that. 1494 00:59:50,924 --> 00:59:53,660 Friends don’t let friends leave the house lookin’ like 1495 00:59:53,660 --> 00:59:55,829 they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams. 1496 00:59:55,829 --> 00:59:56,763 Shut the **** up about this, or-- 1497 00:59:56,763 --> 00:59:59,132 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your frown lines, angel baby. 1498 00:59:59,132 --> 01:00:00,233 I’m just trying to bond a little bit. 1499 01:00:00,233 --> 01:00:02,635 Yeah, well, then talk about somethin’ else. 1500 01:00:02,635 --> 01:00:04,700 Fine. 1501 01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,142 Pshew. Pshew, pshew. 1502 01:00:09,142 --> 01:00:10,760 Pshew! 1503 01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:12,145 - Stop it. - Pshew. 1504 01:00:12,145 --> 01:00:13,947 If they can fix your world, what’s the first thing 1505 01:00:13,947 --> 01:00:15,281 you’re gonna do when you get out of here? 1506 01:00:15,281 --> 01:00:16,883 Get some rubbing alcohol shots, 1507 01:00:16,883 --> 01:00:18,184 maybe a wiper fluid chaser? 1508 01:00:18,184 --> 01:00:20,153 - What did you say? - I said when you get back, 1509 01:00:20,153 --> 01:00:21,788 what’s the first thing you’re gonna do? 1510 01:00:21,788 --> 01:00:24,240 No, no, no. Before that. 1511 01:00:24,190 --> 01:00:26,960 If... they can fix your world? 1512 01:00:27,227 --> 01:00:28,628 [grunts] 1513 01:00:30,196 --> 01:00:32,198 What do you mean, "if"? 1514 01:00:32,198 --> 01:00:33,233 - I mean-- - You lied to me. 1515 01:00:33,233 --> 01:00:34,134 You don’t have a ****ing clue 1516 01:00:34,134 --> 01:00:36,436 if they can help me fix things, do you? 1517 01:00:36,436 --> 01:00:37,871 No. I mean-- Ow! 1518 01:00:37,871 --> 01:00:40,173 ****! ****! I didn’t lie! 1519 01:00:40,173 --> 01:00:44,344 - You lied! - No! I made an educated wish! 1520 01:00:45,378 --> 01:00:47,514 Because I need you. 1521 01:00:47,647 --> 01:00:51,151 This. This is why. Right here. 1522 01:00:51,151 --> 01:00:53,860 ’Cause if we don’t do something, they die. 1523 01:00:53,860 --> 01:00:55,755 I don’t know anything about saving worlds. 1524 01:00:55,755 --> 01:00:56,790 And why would I even care? 1525 01:00:56,790 --> 01:01:00,894 Because my entire world is right here in this picture. 1526 01:01:00,894 --> 01:01:02,295 It’s only nine people, 1527 01:01:02,295 --> 01:01:05,565 and I have no idea how to save it alone. 1528 01:01:05,565 --> 01:01:08,268 I know how to **** people up for money. But you, 1529 01:01:08,268 --> 01:01:10,904 you know how to save ’em! 1530 01:01:11,370 --> 01:01:12,138 At least the other Wolverine did. 1531 01:01:12,138 --> 01:01:13,206 - [flesh squelching] - [groans] 1532 01:01:13,206 --> 01:01:16,643 ****! I guess I’m stuck with the worst one. 1533 01:01:16,643 --> 01:01:18,712 Did you say you made 1534 01:01:18,712 --> 01:01:21,748 an educated ****ing wish? 1535 01:01:21,748 --> 01:01:24,117 They call me "The Merc with the Mouth." 1536 01:01:24,117 --> 01:01:26,186 They don’t call me "Truthful Timmy, 1537 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,855 [grunts in pain] 1538 01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:31,658 One more word. 1539 01:01:31,658 --> 01:01:35,695 Please give me one. [breathing heavily] 1540 01:01:37,464 --> 01:01:38,565 Gubernatorial. 1541 01:01:38,565 --> 01:01:40,967 [yelps] Oh, ****! 1542 01:01:41,401 --> 01:01:44,400 You know what? You’re a ****ing joke. 1543 01:01:44,604 --> 01:01:45,939 No wonder the Avengers didn’t take you. 1544 01:01:45,939 --> 01:01:49,476 Or the X-Men. And they’ll take ****ing anyone. 1545 01:01:49,476 --> 01:01:50,443 I mean, you are 1546 01:01:50,443 --> 01:01:55,480 a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. 1547 01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:56,983 I have never met 1548 01:01:56,983 --> 01:01:57,684 a sadder, 1549 01:01:57,684 --> 01:02:00,787 more attention-starved, jabbering little prick 1550 01:02:00,787 --> 01:02:01,621 in my entire life. 1551 01:02:01,621 --> 01:02:03,890 And that says a lot, ’cause I’ve been alive 1552 01:02:03,890 --> 01:02:06,960 for more than 200 ****in’ years, 1553 01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:07,794 and I’ll tell ya, 1554 01:02:07,794 --> 01:02:09,863 that bald chick was right about one thing. 1555 01:02:09,863 --> 01:02:12,298 You will never save the world! 1556 01:02:12,298 --> 01:02:15,435 You couldn’t even save a relationship 1557 01:02:15,435 --> 01:02:16,669 with a goddamn stripper! 1558 01:02:16,669 --> 01:02:19,305 And mother****er, I wish I could say you’d die alone, 1559 01:02:19,305 --> 01:02:22,909 but it’s one of God’s best jokes that you can’t die, 1560 01:02:22,909 --> 01:02:25,311 except that’s on all of us! 1561 01:02:28,415 --> 01:02:31,151 Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth? 1562 01:02:31,151 --> 01:02:33,119 [breathing heavily] 1563 01:02:39,526 --> 01:02:41,861 [Deadpool] I’m gonna fight you now. 1564 01:02:41,861 --> 01:02:43,463 [laughs] 1565 01:02:43,463 --> 01:02:45,765 [snorts] Oh, are you? 1566 01:02:48,468 --> 01:02:50,403 [song plays on radio, song changing] 1567 01:02:50,403 --> 01:02:54,400 [♪ upbeat pop music plays, "You’re the One That I Want"] 1568 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:54,674 [grunting] 1569 01:02:54,674 --> 01:02:57,310 - [groaning] - Mm. Not talkin’ now, are ya? 1570 01:02:57,310 --> 01:02:59,546 ♪ And I’m losing control ♪ 1571 01:02:59,546 --> 01:03:03,917 ♪ ’Cause the power you’re supplying ♪ 1572 01:03:03,917 --> 01:03:06,119 [Deadpool] Oh, you dirty *****. 1573 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:08,688 [growls] 1574 01:03:08,688 --> 01:03:11,391 - [yelling] - ♪ You better shape up ♪ 1575 01:03:11,391 --> 01:03:13,526 ♪ ’Cause I need a man ♪ 1576 01:03:13,526 --> 01:03:14,694 [both grunting] 1577 01:03:14,694 --> 01:03:17,931 ♪ And my heart is set on you ♪ 1578 01:03:17,931 --> 01:03:20,333 ♪ You better shape up ♪ 1579 01:03:20,333 --> 01:03:22,702 - [laughs] - [Deadpool] Whoo! 1580 01:03:22,902 --> 01:03:23,370 [grunts] 1581 01:03:23,370 --> 01:03:25,538 ♪ To my heart, I must be true ♪ 1582 01:03:25,538 --> 01:03:29,676 ♪ Nothing left, nothing left for me to do ♪ 1583 01:03:29,676 --> 01:03:32,445 ♪ You’re the one that I want ♪ 1584 01:03:32,445 --> 01:03:34,414 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1585 01:03:34,414 --> 01:03:36,883 ♪ The one that I want ♪ 1586 01:03:36,883 --> 01:03:38,180 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1587 01:03:38,180 --> 01:03:40,530 - [straining] - No, no, no! [screams] 1588 01:03:40,530 --> 01:03:40,987 [screams in high pitch] 1589 01:03:40,987 --> 01:03:42,455 - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ - [bones crack] 1590 01:03:42,455 --> 01:03:47,927 ♪ The one I need Oh, yes, indeed...♪ 1591 01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:51,931 [choking] 1592 01:03:55,135 --> 01:03:56,970 [yells] 1593 01:03:58,405 --> 01:04:00,807 - Baby Knife! - [screams] 1594 01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:02,709 [♪ song stops] 1595 01:04:02,709 --> 01:04:06,346 I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey ****s hard. 1596 01:04:06,346 --> 01:04:07,714 Too bad you don’t, needle ****. 1597 01:04:07,714 --> 01:04:08,948 Oh, we’re just gettin’ started, bub. 1598 01:04:08,948 --> 01:04:11,785 - [yells] - [♪ song resumes playing] 1599 01:04:11,785 --> 01:04:13,820 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪ 1600 01:04:14,754 --> 01:04:16,956 [leaves rustling] 1601 01:04:19,259 --> 01:04:22,362 [♪ ominous music playing] 1602 01:04:23,830 --> 01:04:25,765 [car door opens and closes] 1603 01:04:25,765 --> 01:04:27,434 [engine starts] 1604 01:04:38,712 --> 01:04:41,881 [♪ cryptic music playing] 1605 01:04:41,881 --> 01:04:43,950 [water dripping] 1606 01:04:53,193 --> 01:04:55,280 [Deadpool] Thor! 1607 01:04:57,263 --> 01:04:58,310 Where are we? 1608 01:04:58,310 --> 01:05:01,101 No clue, but... I like it here. 1609 01:05:01,101 --> 01:05:05,380 - [door opens] - [♪ cryptic music intensifies] 1610 01:05:07,273 --> 01:05:08,708 [grunting] 1611 01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:11,770 [Deadpool] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1612 01:05:11,770 --> 01:05:14,247 [♪ sentimental music playing] 1613 01:05:19,886 --> 01:05:21,788 - [♪ music pauses] - [low growl] 1614 01:05:21,788 --> 01:05:25,325 [♪ dramatic electronic music playing] 1615 01:05:34,234 --> 01:05:36,870 [electrical humming] 1616 01:05:41,708 --> 01:05:43,243 [cat meows] 1617 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:00,600 [♪ music fades out] 1618 01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:01,261 Okay. 1619 01:06:01,261 --> 01:06:05,465 Look at you... all. You must be the others. 1620 01:06:05,598 --> 01:06:06,366 Terrific. 1621 01:06:06,366 --> 01:06:09,669 So just to refresh, you are 1622 01:06:09,669 --> 01:06:10,537 - Wonder-- - Elektra. 1623 01:06:10,537 --> 01:06:12,806 [Deadpool] Elektra? Yes. Who could forget? 1624 01:06:12,806 --> 01:06:16,276 And you. I was not expecting to see you here. 1625 01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:18,178 I thought you were, you know, 1626 01:06:18,178 --> 01:06:20,380 retired. [chuckles] 1627 01:06:20,580 --> 01:06:22,820 Retarded? 1628 01:06:22,782 --> 01:06:23,850 [Deadpool] "Retired." 1629 01:06:23,850 --> 01:06:24,584 I’m already in The Void. 1630 01:06:24,584 --> 01:06:25,719 I’m not trying to get canceled again. 1631 01:06:25,719 --> 01:06:28,855 - I don’t like you. - [Deadpool] You never did. 1632 01:06:29,222 --> 01:06:32,580 And who’s this succulent reminder 1633 01:06:32,580 --> 01:06:33,793 of my own inadequacies? 1634 01:06:33,793 --> 01:06:34,661 Look at you. 1635 01:06:34,661 --> 01:06:37,564 You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye. 1636 01:06:37,564 --> 01:06:41,101 The name’s Remy LeBeau, Le Diable Blanc. 1637 01:06:41,101 --> 01:06:42,168 But you can call me the Gambit. 1638 01:06:42,168 --> 01:06:44,804 [Deadpool] It’s been a while since I’ve seen Sling Blade. 1639 01:06:44,804 --> 01:06:46,373 Hit me again. 1640 01:06:46,373 --> 01:06:47,173 They call me the Gambit. 1641 01:06:47,173 --> 01:06:48,641 [Deadpool] Do they? Are you sure you didn’t 1642 01:06:48,641 --> 01:06:50,430 just really, really want them to, 1643 01:06:50,430 --> 01:06:52,245 but it never quite worked out? 1644 01:06:52,679 --> 01:06:53,780 [speaks indistinctly] 1645 01:06:53,780 --> 01:06:57,250 You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here. 1646 01:06:57,250 --> 01:06:58,180 But I can tell you now, 1647 01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,919 it’s just a common courtesy to ask 1648 01:06:59,919 --> 01:07:01,654 before you drink up all of my liquor. 1649 01:07:01,654 --> 01:07:04,224 Well, it’s a good thing I don’t give a ****. 1650 01:07:04,224 --> 01:07:07,293 [laughs, speaks indistinctly] 1651 01:07:07,927 --> 01:07:09,362 ****. 1652 01:07:10,597 --> 01:07:13,466 - [bottle smashes] - [Deadpool] So embarrassing. 1653 01:07:13,967 --> 01:07:14,634 Boo, boo, boo. 1654 01:07:14,634 --> 01:07:15,702 Well, now that that’s settled, look, 1655 01:07:15,702 --> 01:07:16,936 we came a long way to find you three. 1656 01:07:16,936 --> 01:07:19,205 - There’s four of us. - [Deadpool] There’s four... 1657 01:07:19,205 --> 01:07:20,840 Hey, wait. Is it Magneto? 1658 01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:23,143 Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto, 1659 01:07:23,143 --> 01:07:24,210 - because with him-- - He’s dead. 1660 01:07:24,210 --> 01:07:26,790 [Deadpool] ****! Now Disney gets cheap? 1661 01:07:26,790 --> 01:07:28,181 It’s like Pinocchio jammed his face in my *** 1662 01:07:28,181 --> 01:07:30,183 - and started lying like crazy. - Ooh, you nasty! 1663 01:07:30,183 --> 01:07:32,819 Mon petit rouge. Laissez les bons temps rouler, huh? 1664 01:07:32,819 --> 01:07:35,855 [Deadpool] Not a single word. What do you do exactly? 1665 01:07:35,855 --> 01:07:38,358 Charge the playing cards and make ’em go boom! 1666 01:07:38,358 --> 01:07:40,994 [Deadpool] Your power’s close-up magic. That’s good. 1667 01:07:40,994 --> 01:07:42,929 We’re not totally ****ed at all. 1668 01:07:42,929 --> 01:07:44,230 So who brought us here? 1669 01:07:44,230 --> 01:07:46,266 [Voice] That would be me. 1670 01:07:47,801 --> 01:07:51,104 [♪ pensive music playing] 1671 01:07:55,875 --> 01:07:57,811 Don’t make me regret it. 1672 01:07:58,144 --> 01:08:01,948 [Deadpool] Holy shit. Logan. That’s her. That’s X-23. 1673 01:08:01,948 --> 01:08:04,517 She’s the one I told you about. 1674 01:08:07,787 --> 01:08:10,323 Hey, how did you all get stuck in The Void? 1675 01:08:10,323 --> 01:08:11,858 There was a knock at the door. 1676 01:08:11,858 --> 01:08:14,600 - TVA sent me here. - Me, too. 1677 01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:14,928 Well, maybe I was born here. 1678 01:08:14,928 --> 01:08:16,262 It’s... It’s hard to know for sure. 1679 01:08:16,262 --> 01:08:19,632 TVA decided our universe was dying. 1680 01:08:19,632 --> 01:08:22,969 And I never even got a chance to fight for it. 1681 01:08:24,537 --> 01:08:26,840 [Elektra] People like us don’t go quietly. 1682 01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:29,900 TVA knows that, so they took us out. 1683 01:08:29,900 --> 01:08:31,544 [smooches] The answer is yes. I’m in. 1684 01:08:31,544 --> 01:08:33,313 - In what? - [Deadpool] A team. 1685 01:08:33,313 --> 01:08:35,648 Me, you, you, and me. All of us together. 1686 01:08:35,648 --> 01:08:36,950 Let’s get the **** out of this place. 1687 01:08:36,950 --> 01:08:38,918 Don’t listen to him. He’s a ****ing liar! 1688 01:08:38,918 --> 01:08:40,887 [Deadpool] It was an educated wish! 1689 01:08:40,887 --> 01:08:43,323 - Ha! - [Deadpool] Look. 1690 01:08:43,690 --> 01:08:45,625 We’ve been inside Cassandra’s lair. 1691 01:08:45,625 --> 01:08:48,228 The only way out of The Void is through her. 1692 01:08:48,228 --> 01:08:50,196 She can get us home. She told us. 1693 01:08:50,196 --> 01:08:52,632 Wait a minute, you’ve been inside? 1694 01:08:52,632 --> 01:08:54,267 - And you made it out alive? - Bullshit. 1695 01:08:54,267 --> 01:08:56,169 - Nobody’s ever done that. - [Deadpool] We did. 1696 01:08:56,169 --> 01:08:59,739 Every time one of us has gone up against her, 1697 01:08:59,739 --> 01:09:00,306 they die. 1698 01:09:00,306 --> 01:09:03,900 The Punisher, the Quicksilver, the Daredevil. 1699 01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:04,811 [Deadpool] Daredevil? I’m so sorry. 1700 01:09:04,811 --> 01:09:07,180 - It’s fine. - [Deadpool] Okay. 1701 01:09:07,981 --> 01:09:11,685 Even that sweet, baby angel, Johnny Storm. 1702 01:09:11,685 --> 01:09:13,286 He up and gone missing like, 1703 01:09:13,286 --> 01:09:15,880 what, two days ago? 1704 01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:16,956 [Deadpool] Ugh. That’s so sad. 1705 01:09:16,956 --> 01:09:20,360 Wherever this Johnny fella is, I’m sure he’s thriving. 1706 01:09:20,360 --> 01:09:21,940 [Wolverine chuckles] 1707 01:09:21,940 --> 01:09:23,930 Look, there’s... there’s strength in numbers. 1708 01:09:23,930 --> 01:09:24,597 All right? Us... 1709 01:09:24,597 --> 01:09:25,665 plus, you guys. We can put Cassandra 1710 01:09:25,665 --> 01:09:28,134 over our knee and force her to let us out of The Void. 1711 01:09:28,134 --> 01:09:29,903 I know what it means to feel self-doubt. 1712 01:09:29,903 --> 01:09:31,137 - I don’t feel that at all. - I’m good. 1713 01:09:31,137 --> 01:09:33,540 [Deadpool] Gnawing at your gut like a coked-up tapeworm. 1714 01:09:33,540 --> 01:09:35,208 It’s like you’re holding up a mirror to my soul. 1715 01:09:35,208 --> 01:09:37,770 [Deadpool] You guys may not have been able 1716 01:09:37,770 --> 01:09:38,845 to save your universes. 1717 01:09:38,845 --> 01:09:40,747 But you can avenge them. 1718 01:09:40,747 --> 01:09:42,349 It’s what Johnny would have wanted. 1719 01:09:42,349 --> 01:09:46,520 Wait. You knew Johnny? 1720 01:09:46,186 --> 01:09:47,120 [chuckles] Oh, yeah. 1721 01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:48,755 ****head here talked him into a team-up, 1722 01:09:48,755 --> 01:09:51,591 and Johnny came down with a little case of the deads. 1723 01:09:51,591 --> 01:09:52,826 [Deadpool] No, no, no. We don’t know that. 1724 01:09:52,826 --> 01:09:55,195 It was just a flesh wound. He may have survived. 1725 01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:57,997 If he survived that, he is prayin’ for death. 1726 01:09:57,997 --> 01:09:59,666 [Deadpool] Thank you, Doctor Wolverine! 1727 01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:02,680 - Spill it! - What’d you do to Johnny, huh? 1728 01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:03,136 Talk or I’m gonna start dealin’. 1729 01:10:03,136 --> 01:10:05,872 [Deadpool] Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 1730 01:10:05,872 --> 01:10:06,439 Look. 1731 01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:08,842 He ran his fat-*** mouth about Cassandra. 1732 01:10:08,842 --> 01:10:10,210 Then she zip-zapped his skin, 1733 01:10:10,210 --> 01:10:12,178 leaving his organs to splash crudely onto the ground 1734 01:10:12,178 --> 01:10:15,815 while the soil greedily drank his blood. It was horrible. 1735 01:10:15,815 --> 01:10:16,950 He was like a brother to me. 1736 01:10:16,950 --> 01:10:20,487 Look, he died before he could make a difference. But... 1737 01:10:20,487 --> 01:10:21,955 - [laughs] - Look, maybe you couldn’t 1738 01:10:21,955 --> 01:10:23,890 save your worlds, but... 1739 01:10:23,890 --> 01:10:25,692 but Jesus Christ, you can save mine! 1740 01:10:25,692 --> 01:10:27,961 I don’t give a shit about your world, but 1741 01:10:27,961 --> 01:10:31,264 if these two made it out of there alive, maybe together, 1742 01:10:31,264 --> 01:10:32,966 we can get back in and take her down. 1743 01:10:32,966 --> 01:10:36,360 Where I come from, we call that suicide, Chere. 1744 01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:38,304 [Deadpool] If we can block her psychic powers, 1745 01:10:38,304 --> 01:10:40,373 we can get a leg up. I know it. 1746 01:10:40,373 --> 01:10:42,108 Now, I know Magneto’s dead. 1747 01:10:42,108 --> 01:10:44,511 But I’d venture to guess that his helmet is lying 1748 01:10:44,511 --> 01:10:46,813 - around here somewhere-- - Cassandra melted the helmet. 1749 01:10:46,813 --> 01:10:48,114 - [Deadpool] ****! - After she killed him. 1750 01:10:48,114 --> 01:10:49,983 - [Deadpool] ****! - She don’t play. 1751 01:10:49,983 --> 01:10:51,551 She knows that helmet was the only way 1752 01:10:51,551 --> 01:10:53,190 to protect anyone from her powers. 1753 01:10:53,190 --> 01:10:55,355 The only other helmet that strong is Juggernaut’s, 1754 01:10:55,355 --> 01:10:56,222 but he works for Cassandra. 1755 01:10:56,222 --> 01:10:57,590 [Deadpool] Juggernaut’s helmet. That’s it. 1756 01:10:57,590 --> 01:10:59,526 Yeah, and we done be knowing that lid ain’t comin’ off 1757 01:10:59,526 --> 01:11:01,127 without that dome gonna come off wit’it. 1758 01:11:01,127 --> 01:11:02,629 [Deadpool] I’m so sorry, beautiful. 1759 01:11:02,629 --> 01:11:03,463 I want this to be gentle. 1760 01:11:03,463 --> 01:11:05,331 Who is your dialect coach? The Minions? 1761 01:11:05,331 --> 01:11:09,869 I feel like we are missing critical exposition here. 1762 01:11:09,869 --> 01:11:13,973 I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of hiding. 1763 01:11:13,973 --> 01:11:16,376 Let’s face it, our worlds forgot about us. 1764 01:11:16,376 --> 01:11:18,311 Or never learned about us. 1765 01:11:18,311 --> 01:11:19,913 The heroes we were. 1766 01:11:19,913 --> 01:11:21,147 Lives we saved. 1767 01:11:21,147 --> 01:11:22,315 Or wanted to save. 1768 01:11:22,315 --> 01:11:24,718 Maybe these two are our chance. 1769 01:11:24,718 --> 01:11:25,919 [gurgling] 1770 01:11:25,919 --> 01:11:27,654 To be remembered. 1771 01:11:27,654 --> 01:11:29,389 The way we deserve. 1772 01:11:29,989 --> 01:11:31,124 [Deadpool] Yes. 1773 01:11:31,124 --> 01:11:32,726 An ending. 1774 01:11:32,726 --> 01:11:34,270 - Legacy. - [Deadpool] Yes! 1775 01:11:34,270 --> 01:11:35,228 Yes! Let this man cook. 1776 01:11:35,228 --> 01:11:36,763 This is what I’m talking about. 1777 01:11:36,763 --> 01:11:38,932 Big slow-motion fights, sad music. 1778 01:11:38,932 --> 01:11:39,799 Everybody working together. 1779 01:11:39,799 --> 01:11:41,835 Who knows if you live or die? That sorta thing. 1780 01:11:41,835 --> 01:11:44,270 - Who’s ready? - I was born ready. 1781 01:11:44,270 --> 01:11:45,605 [Deadpool] Yes! Gambit? 1782 01:11:45,605 --> 01:11:46,373 I ain’t know my daddy, 1783 01:11:46,373 --> 01:11:48,274 but I’m sure I shot out of his **** ready. 1784 01:11:48,274 --> 01:11:49,909 [Deadpool] Jesus Christ, that is graphic. 1785 01:11:49,909 --> 01:11:51,878 Yeah. He was layin’ them buttery nuts all up in my mama 1786 01:11:51,878 --> 01:11:53,980 and I shot out there and I said, "What’s up, Doc?" 1787 01:11:53,980 --> 01:11:56,883 [Deadpool laughs] Johnny must have loved you. 1788 01:11:56,883 --> 01:11:59,319 X-23, what’s it gonna be? 1789 01:11:59,319 --> 01:12:00,200 The name’s Laura. 1790 01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:03,223 - Let’s ****ing go. - [Deadpool] Let’s ****ing go! 1791 01:12:03,223 --> 01:12:04,324 It’s on like chicken and corn. 1792 01:12:04,324 --> 01:12:06,192 - [Deadpool] Yeah! - We’re doing this. 1793 01:12:06,192 --> 01:12:06,960 You’re all ****in’ dead. 1794 01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:10,296 [Deadpool] My God! Read the room. 1795 01:12:13,330 --> 01:12:15,435 [crickets chirping] 1796 01:12:18,905 --> 01:12:19,739 [exhales] 1797 01:12:19,739 --> 01:12:24,277 Hey, hey. I’m not lookin’ for company. Get out of here. 1798 01:12:25,745 --> 01:12:27,280 You remind me of him. 1799 01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:28,648 Angry. Drunk. Mean... 1800 01:12:28,648 --> 01:12:31,985 - Sounds like a great guy-- - Wasn’t finished. 1801 01:12:32,786 --> 01:12:35,388 Showed up when it mattered the most. 1802 01:12:36,990 --> 01:12:39,292 Couldn’t help it. 1803 01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:41,795 [sighs] 1804 01:12:41,795 --> 01:12:43,963 You might not know it, but... 1805 01:12:44,970 --> 01:12:45,832 you’re a good man, Logan. 1806 01:12:45,832 --> 01:12:47,300 [chuckles] 1807 01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:49,369 You might not know it, but apparently, 1808 01:12:49,369 --> 01:12:51,438 I’m the worst Logan. 1809 01:12:52,272 --> 01:12:55,175 I got to have a life because of you. 1810 01:12:57,143 --> 01:12:59,813 I got to grow up because of you. 1811 01:13:01,181 --> 01:13:02,248 A lot of kids did. 1812 01:13:02,248 --> 01:13:05,518 A lot of kids didn’t grow up because of me. 1813 01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:09,322 Trust me, kid, I’m no hero. 1814 01:13:09,889 --> 01:13:11,858 That suit says different. 1815 01:13:11,858 --> 01:13:14,894 - Yeah. Do you like it? - Mm. 1816 01:13:15,762 --> 01:13:18,465 Scott used to beg me to wear it. 1817 01:13:19,966 --> 01:13:23,336 So did Jean, Storm, Beast. 1818 01:13:24,871 --> 01:13:26,106 All of them. 1819 01:13:26,106 --> 01:13:29,976 They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn’t. 1820 01:13:29,976 --> 01:13:34,547 Told ’em they all look ****ing ridiculous. I mean... 1821 01:13:35,810 --> 01:13:39,119 I couldn’t have ’em thinkin’ I wanted to be there. 1822 01:13:43,590 --> 01:13:46,226 And then one day, while I was off on my own, 1823 01:13:46,226 --> 01:13:48,280 the humans came... 1824 01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:50,130 and went mutant hunting. 1825 01:13:50,697 --> 01:13:51,965 I can guess the rest. 1826 01:13:51,965 --> 01:13:53,800 No, no, let me... 1827 01:13:54,367 --> 01:13:56,236 Let me say it. I... 1828 01:13:58,204 --> 01:14:00,400 I need to say it. 1829 01:14:01,241 --> 01:14:04,678 By the time I stumbled home shitfaced from the bar, 1830 01:14:04,678 --> 01:14:06,513 it was too late. 1831 01:14:09,282 --> 01:14:11,985 They were dead. Every... [stifling sob] 1832 01:14:13,553 --> 01:14:16,456 [♪ mournful music playing] 1833 01:14:16,723 --> 01:14:21,227 This suit’s all I got to remind me of who they were. 1834 01:14:22,696 --> 01:14:24,264 And what I did. 1835 01:14:31,604 --> 01:14:33,106 [sniffles] 1836 01:14:36,142 --> 01:14:39,450 We’re headed to Cassandra’s at sunup. 1837 01:14:39,179 --> 01:14:41,881 Have fun. Not my fight. 1838 01:14:44,170 --> 01:14:46,820 We won’t pull this off without you. 1839 01:14:52,292 --> 01:14:57,970 Hey. Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1840 01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,534 You were always the wrong guy. 1841 01:15:07,700 --> 01:15:10,210 [♪ mournful music continues] 1842 01:15:24,591 --> 01:15:26,826 [cell phone ringing] 1843 01:15:26,826 --> 01:15:27,327 What? 1844 01:15:27,327 --> 01:15:29,162 Alioth didn’t get them. [sniffs] 1845 01:15:29,162 --> 01:15:32,599 Cassandra wanted to play with them herself first. 1846 01:15:32,599 --> 01:15:33,233 They got away. 1847 01:15:33,233 --> 01:15:35,100 - Did they find the others? - No. 1848 01:15:35,100 --> 01:15:36,360 Good. All right. Phew. 1849 01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:38,204 - The others found them. - Oh, very cute. 1850 01:15:38,204 --> 01:15:39,873 Well done, Pyro. Classic bait and switch. 1851 01:15:39,873 --> 01:15:42,542 - You really got me there. - Relax. 1852 01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:45,110 If they come after Nova, she’ll handle it. 1853 01:15:45,110 --> 01:15:46,813 Cassandra is a lunatic wild card. 1854 01:15:46,813 --> 01:15:49,820 Why do you think we put her there in the first place? 1855 01:15:49,820 --> 01:15:51,184 Thank God she’s never chosen to leave The Void. 1856 01:15:51,184 --> 01:15:54,621 The Time Ripper is hours away from completion. 1857 01:15:54,621 --> 01:15:55,989 I cannot take any chances. 1858 01:15:55,989 --> 01:15:57,123 Well, maybe not. 1859 01:15:57,123 --> 01:15:58,625 But I can. 1860 01:15:58,625 --> 01:15:59,225 For a price. 1861 01:15:59,225 --> 01:16:01,127 Why do you have to say it in that silly voice? 1862 01:16:01,127 --> 01:16:01,761 It’s so icky. 1863 01:16:01,761 --> 01:16:04,264 - You want it done or not? - All right. Your price. 1864 01:16:04,264 --> 01:16:06,366 Take her out. 1865 01:16:06,366 --> 01:16:07,801 Ugh. Mutants. 1866 01:16:07,801 --> 01:16:09,169 [♪ hip-hop music plays, T.I. "Bring ’Em Out"] 1867 01:16:09,169 --> 01:16:11,905 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1868 01:16:11,905 --> 01:16:13,707 ♪ It’s hard to yell when the bar-rel’s in your mouth ♪ 1869 01:16:13,707 --> 01:16:15,175 - ♪ Come on ♪ - ♪ Swizzy! ♪ 1870 01:16:15,175 --> 01:16:18,978 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1871 01:16:18,978 --> 01:16:20,814 ♪ T-I-P, coming live from the V.I.P.♪ 1872 01:16:20,814 --> 01:16:23,160 ♪ Heard the nightlife lost life without me ♪ 1873 01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:25,685 ♪ Both the feds and the state wanna see ’bout me ♪ 1874 01:16:25,685 --> 01:16:30,900 ♪ The whole city got biz-zerk, he got three...♪ 1875 01:16:30,900 --> 01:16:30,824 Ooh! Look at that there! 1876 01:16:30,824 --> 01:16:32,250 You see them biggum hands come closed. 1877 01:16:32,250 --> 01:16:33,560 Ain’t not a wonna gettin’ up inside there. 1878 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:34,861 [Deadpool] I think what Gambit’s trying to say is 1879 01:16:34,861 --> 01:16:37,997 getting Juggernaut’s helmet ain’t gonna be easy. 1880 01:16:37,997 --> 01:16:39,766 I’m just making stuff up at this... 1881 01:16:39,766 --> 01:16:40,800 - Yeah. Tilt up to Blade. - Gun! 1882 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:43,200 ♪ Mississippi to Philly, Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪ 1883 01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:46,390 ♪ If I hit you in the face, you gon’ be suing and shit ♪ 1884 01:16:46,390 --> 01:16:48,308 [Deadpool] Where’d he get that little beauty? 1885 01:16:48,308 --> 01:16:49,809 That’s Punisher’s AT4. 1886 01:16:49,809 --> 01:16:52,746 Which Punisher? There’s been, like, five of them. 1887 01:16:52,746 --> 01:16:54,800 There’s only been one Blade, 1888 01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:55,515 and there’s only ever gonna be one Blade. 1889 01:16:55,515 --> 01:16:57,717 ♪ Who got a flow and a live show better than mine? ♪ 1890 01:16:57,717 --> 01:17:00,887 ♪ I got a packed house yellin’♪ 1891 01:17:00,887 --> 01:17:02,122 Incoming! 1892 01:17:02,122 --> 01:17:03,890 Ahhh! 1893 01:17:03,890 --> 01:17:05,258 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1894 01:17:05,258 --> 01:17:06,626 ♪ Ayy, from the back, they yellin ♪ 1895 01:17:06,626 --> 01:17:07,994 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1896 01:17:07,994 --> 01:17:09,462 ♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin’ ♪ 1897 01:17:09,462 --> 01:17:10,830 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1898 01:17:10,830 --> 01:17:12,165 ♪ Ayy, from the back, they yellin ♪ 1899 01:17:12,165 --> 01:17:14,234 - [♪ song stops] - [fire roaring] 1900 01:17:16,669 --> 01:17:18,805 [tires screeching] 1901 01:17:19,739 --> 01:17:21,408 ♪ Mic check, one-two, one-two ♪ 1902 01:17:21,408 --> 01:17:22,942 ♪ You wanna beef with the King?♪ 1903 01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:24,100 ♪ What is you gon’ do?♪ 1904 01:17:24,100 --> 01:17:25,879 ♪ Will you show up on the scene with two guns drew?♪ 1905 01:17:25,879 --> 01:17:28,815 ♪ Or you and your friend and play a little two-on-two?♪ 1906 01:17:28,815 --> 01:17:30,283 ♪ If you knew half of what I knew ♪ 1907 01:17:30,283 --> 01:17:31,751 ♪ Then you’d be hitting the deck ♪ 1908 01:17:31,751 --> 01:17:33,530 ♪ I got a tool and a vest ♪ 1909 01:17:33,530 --> 01:17:34,154 ♪ I can get some respect ♪ 1910 01:17:34,154 --> 01:17:35,955 ♪ Yeah, what other Southern rapper hood-er than this? ♪ 1911 01:17:35,955 --> 01:17:38,358 ♪ I got rich, and I’m still on some hooligan shit ♪ 1912 01:17:38,358 --> 01:17:39,959 ♪ Standing in your front yard yellin’♪ 1913 01:17:39,959 --> 01:17:41,327 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1914 01:17:41,327 --> 01:17:42,729 ♪ Ayy, all my hot girls yellin’ ♪ 1915 01:17:42,729 --> 01:17:44,970 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1916 01:17:44,970 --> 01:17:45,565 ♪ Ayy, all the dope boys yellin’ ♪ 1917 01:17:45,565 --> 01:17:47,267 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1918 01:17:47,267 --> 01:17:49,202 [♪ song stops] 1919 01:17:51,871 --> 01:17:52,806 [♪ song resumes] 1920 01:17:52,806 --> 01:17:56,509 ♪ Hands in the air now! ♪ 1921 01:17:56,509 --> 01:17:59,579 ♪ Hands-hands in the- in the air-air now! ♪ 1922 01:17:59,579 --> 01:18:00,580 ♪ I can’t hear you! ♪ 1923 01:18:00,580 --> 01:18:05,585 ♪ Bring ’em out, bring ’em out ♪ 1924 01:18:05,585 --> 01:18:07,287 [♪ song ends] 1925 01:18:08,288 --> 01:18:10,123 Ooh, this is gonna be good. 1926 01:18:10,123 --> 01:18:12,759 You know how long I’ve been waiting for this? 1927 01:18:12,759 --> 01:18:14,994 Whoo! I’m about to make a name for myself here. 1928 01:18:14,994 --> 01:18:16,763 I don’t think you guys walk away from this. 1929 01:18:16,763 --> 01:18:18,732 You just make sure people know what happened here today. 1930 01:18:18,732 --> 01:18:21,401 And when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah? 1931 01:18:21,401 --> 01:18:23,903 You just stay on our six and get inside. 1932 01:18:23,903 --> 01:18:26,773 We’ll make sure you get the package. 1933 01:18:26,773 --> 01:18:27,874 And we’ll get our ending. 1934 01:18:27,874 --> 01:18:31,311 [♪ thrilling music playing] 1935 01:18:44,190 --> 01:18:46,292 [♪ music fades out] 1936 01:18:48,762 --> 01:18:50,797 [all yelling] 1937 01:18:55,350 --> 01:18:58,338 [♪ epic music playing] 1938 01:18:59,739 --> 01:19:01,474 [all grunting] 1939 01:19:23,830 --> 01:19:24,698 [groans] 1940 01:19:24,698 --> 01:19:26,733 [electrical roar and hum] 1941 01:19:26,733 --> 01:19:28,501 [crackling] 1942 01:19:38,578 --> 01:19:39,379 And boom! 1943 01:19:39,379 --> 01:19:41,481 [all grunting] 1944 01:19:41,681 --> 01:19:43,516 [laughs, grunts] 1945 01:20:08,908 --> 01:20:09,876 [♪ music stops] 1946 01:20:09,876 --> 01:20:13,179 Heh. Some mother****ers still trying to ice skate uphill. 1947 01:20:13,179 --> 01:20:15,181 [henchmen yelling] 1948 01:20:17,417 --> 01:20:18,985 [slurps] 1949 01:20:18,985 --> 01:20:19,786 [footsteps] 1950 01:20:19,786 --> 01:20:22,222 You two escaping, I could live with. 1951 01:20:22,222 --> 01:20:25,959 But coming back? Willingly? 1952 01:20:26,826 --> 01:20:28,228 Boys are so silly. 1953 01:20:28,228 --> 01:20:29,262 [Deadpool] I just need to get home. 1954 01:20:29,262 --> 01:20:31,731 Well, that’s not on the menu, I’m afraid. 1955 01:20:31,731 --> 01:20:35,668 It’s death or enslavement. A la carte, of course. 1956 01:20:35,668 --> 01:20:38,710 - Upsy-daisy. - [grunting] 1957 01:20:42,876 --> 01:20:43,343 Finally, 1958 01:20:43,343 --> 01:20:45,812 it’s nice to give someone else a chance to talk. 1959 01:20:45,812 --> 01:20:47,681 Not my strong suit. 1960 01:20:47,681 --> 01:20:50,116 [groaning and grunting] 1961 01:20:51,751 --> 01:20:53,787 [straining] 1962 01:21:02,620 --> 01:21:03,530 [yells] 1963 01:21:04,664 --> 01:21:05,231 [exhales] 1964 01:21:05,231 --> 01:21:07,400 You shouldn’t have done that. 1965 01:21:08,768 --> 01:21:09,736 [grunts] 1966 01:21:09,736 --> 01:21:12,380 [groaning] 1967 01:21:13,273 --> 01:21:15,175 [grunting] 1968 01:21:19,779 --> 01:21:21,381 [yells] 1969 01:21:21,748 --> 01:21:23,216 [growls] 1970 01:21:25,318 --> 01:21:26,586 [screams] 1971 01:21:26,586 --> 01:21:28,421 Adios, pendejo. 1972 01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:29,723 [yells] 1973 01:21:29,723 --> 01:21:32,592 You are an interesting one, aren’t you? 1974 01:21:32,592 --> 01:21:36,363 I do feel like you get lost behind all of his... 1975 01:21:36,363 --> 01:21:38,865 [imitates yapping] 1976 01:21:38,865 --> 01:21:42,902 Deadpools are a dime a dozen here in The Void. 1977 01:21:43,169 --> 01:21:44,904 But you... 1978 01:21:44,904 --> 01:21:48,575 What’s going on in here? 1979 01:21:48,908 --> 01:21:50,977 [groaning] 1980 01:21:51,745 --> 01:21:54,140 [screaming] 1981 01:21:54,948 --> 01:21:57,217 - [screaming stops] - [leaves rustling] 1982 01:21:57,217 --> 01:21:59,486 [distant female voice] Logan! 1983 01:22:01,221 --> 01:22:03,289 [Cassandra] Interesting... 1984 01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,326 Not what I expected back here. 1985 01:22:06,793 --> 01:22:08,795 Behind the anger. 1986 01:22:12,650 --> 01:22:13,166 You’re hiding. 1987 01:22:13,166 --> 01:22:14,934 - From them. - [sighs] 1988 01:22:14,934 --> 01:22:17,871 From all the ones you let down. 1989 01:22:19,839 --> 01:22:21,574 So much pain. 1990 01:22:23,677 --> 01:22:25,645 I walked away. 1991 01:22:25,645 --> 01:22:27,681 They called after me and I... 1992 01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:29,382 I walked away. 1993 01:22:29,949 --> 01:22:30,750 I always do. 1994 01:22:30,750 --> 01:22:32,852 - [child] Logan! - I know. 1995 01:22:34,254 --> 01:22:36,423 That’s not all you did. 1996 01:22:36,756 --> 01:22:37,257 Is it? 1997 01:22:37,257 --> 01:22:39,893 - [groans] - [flesh squelches] 1998 01:22:40,927 --> 01:22:42,962 You found them. 1999 01:22:43,263 --> 01:22:44,964 The X-Men. 2000 01:22:48,134 --> 01:22:49,869 [distant screaming] 2001 01:22:49,869 --> 01:22:50,370 Dead. 2002 01:22:50,370 --> 01:22:53,373 [♪ mournful music playing] 2003 01:22:53,373 --> 01:22:55,275 Piled like wood. 2004 01:22:55,975 --> 01:22:58,244 [Cassandra] What did you do? 2005 01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:01,614 I started killing. 2006 01:23:01,614 --> 01:23:05,318 And I couldn’t stop. I didn’t wanna stop. 2007 01:23:05,652 --> 01:23:08,922 [Cassandra] All those bad men. 2008 01:23:08,922 --> 01:23:10,390 [groans] 2009 01:23:12,225 --> 01:23:14,894 It’s not just the bad ones. 2010 01:23:15,795 --> 01:23:17,564 My little animal. 2011 01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:23,169 And I turned the whole world against the X-Men. 2012 01:23:23,169 --> 01:23:24,804 Blade! 2013 01:23:29,743 --> 01:23:31,444 Just once... 2014 01:23:31,978 --> 01:23:36,490 I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was. 2015 01:23:36,816 --> 01:23:38,284 Logan... 2016 01:23:38,752 --> 01:23:43,490 in The Void, you can be what you are. 2017 01:23:45,125 --> 01:23:47,360 I just wanna be free. 2018 01:23:47,360 --> 01:23:49,696 I can set you free. 2019 01:23:49,696 --> 01:23:51,498 [panting] 2020 01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:56,690 [yelps] 2021 01:24:00,106 --> 01:24:05,912 I can silence all those voices. 2022 01:24:05,912 --> 01:24:07,881 [silence falls] 2023 01:24:09,949 --> 01:24:11,518 [exhales] 2024 01:24:12,686 --> 01:24:14,254 I’ve got you. 2025 01:24:16,189 --> 01:24:17,957 I’ve got you. 2026 01:24:18,124 --> 01:24:19,526 No. 2027 01:24:20,293 --> 01:24:22,280 I got you. 2028 01:24:22,328 --> 01:24:23,797 [indistinct whining] 2029 01:24:23,797 --> 01:24:25,765 [grunting in pain] 2030 01:24:25,765 --> 01:24:26,900 [gasps] 2031 01:24:26,900 --> 01:24:28,968 [yelling] 2032 01:24:28,968 --> 01:24:31,137 [Cassandra grunts] Get it off! 2033 01:24:31,137 --> 01:24:32,572 [Deadpool] You’re gonna send us home, 2034 01:24:32,572 --> 01:24:34,274 or I’m gonna twist your ****ing head off. 2035 01:24:34,274 --> 01:24:36,743 - [laughs] - Why are you laughing? 2036 01:24:36,743 --> 01:24:37,644 I can’t send you home 2037 01:24:37,644 --> 01:24:40,947 unless you get this thing off my head. 2038 01:24:40,947 --> 01:24:41,815 And as soon as you do that, 2039 01:24:41,815 --> 01:24:44,584 I’m going to boil your brains on an atomic level 2040 01:24:44,584 --> 01:24:47,787 whilst flicking my bean to the Enya box set. 2041 01:24:47,787 --> 01:24:49,322 [Deadpool] There’s an Enya box set? 2042 01:24:49,322 --> 01:24:50,924 Either you kill me 2043 01:24:50,924 --> 01:24:52,792 or I kill you. 2044 01:24:52,992 --> 01:24:54,694 Both wonderful options. 2045 01:24:54,694 --> 01:24:56,396 [Deadpool] You want me to do it? 2046 01:24:56,396 --> 01:24:56,996 No, I’ll do it. 2047 01:24:56,996 --> 01:24:58,231 [Deadpool] I have her neck right here. 2048 01:24:58,231 --> 01:25:00,100 - It’s really no problem. - You’ll screw it up. 2049 01:25:00,100 --> 01:25:02,100 [Deadpool] Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13, 2050 01:25:02,100 --> 01:25:02,869 except the last one! 2051 01:25:02,869 --> 01:25:05,872 - [gunshots] - What the ****? 2052 01:25:05,972 --> 01:25:08,842 - [gasping] - [chuckles] You have no idea 2053 01:25:08,842 --> 01:25:09,576 what it’s like! 2054 01:25:09,576 --> 01:25:12,912 Day after day. Shovel the shit. 2055 01:25:12,912 --> 01:25:14,314 Fetch the meats. 2056 01:25:14,314 --> 01:25:18,118 I have spent my entire exis-- 2057 01:25:19,850 --> 01:25:20,553 Not everyone gets a speech. 2058 01:25:20,553 --> 01:25:23,560 - [groaning] - She’s gonna die. 2059 01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:24,991 [Deadpool] Okay. Hey, hey. If I take this helmet off, 2060 01:25:24,991 --> 01:25:26,860 do you promise you won’t kill us? 2061 01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,161 - ****! - [Cassandra] I promise... 2062 01:25:28,161 --> 01:25:29,596 I will kill you first thing. 2063 01:25:29,596 --> 01:25:31,998 [Deadpool] Oh! Why are you like this? 2064 01:25:31,998 --> 01:25:32,899 I wish I knew. 2065 01:25:32,899 --> 01:25:34,234 - Take it off. - [Deadpool] What? 2066 01:25:34,234 --> 01:25:35,268 - Take it off. - [Deadpool] Why? 2067 01:25:35,268 --> 01:25:36,836 - Just take it off. - This is our only chance 2068 01:25:36,836 --> 01:25:39,973 - to fix our shit! - Take it off! 2069 01:25:41,410 --> 01:25:42,742 I am wearing this suit. 2070 01:25:42,742 --> 01:25:46,379 And that means a lot of things, but most of all... 2071 01:25:47,800 --> 01:25:49,820 it means I’m an X-Man. 2072 01:25:49,315 --> 01:25:51,484 And I know your brother. 2073 01:25:52,652 --> 01:25:53,920 As much as I want to ****ing kill you, 2074 01:25:53,920 --> 01:25:56,756 every bone in my body wants to ****ing kill you, 2075 01:25:56,756 --> 01:26:01,227 he would not let me stand here and watch you die! 2076 01:26:02,929 --> 01:26:04,964 Take your hands off. 2077 01:26:05,965 --> 01:26:07,901 This is for him. 2078 01:26:08,968 --> 01:26:11,370 This is for Charles. 2079 01:26:12,772 --> 01:26:14,974 [Cassandra panting] 2080 01:26:17,944 --> 01:26:19,679 [exhales deeply] 2081 01:26:19,679 --> 01:26:21,581 - [grunts] - [Deadpool] Hey, no, no, no! 2082 01:26:21,581 --> 01:26:24,184 Don’t you dare do me like Johnny! 2083 01:26:29,789 --> 01:26:31,558 My brother loved you. 2084 01:26:32,792 --> 01:26:34,527 He loved all of us. 2085 01:26:34,828 --> 01:26:36,229 Hmm. 2086 01:26:37,300 --> 01:26:38,865 Must be nice. 2087 01:26:38,965 --> 01:26:41,201 He would’ve loved you, too. 2088 01:26:43,236 --> 01:26:45,238 If he knew about you... 2089 01:26:46,106 --> 01:26:47,173 if he knew where you were, 2090 01:26:47,173 --> 01:26:49,976 he would’ve torn a hole in the ****ing universe 2091 01:26:49,976 --> 01:26:51,845 to bring you home. 2092 01:26:54,981 --> 01:26:56,583 This is my home. 2093 01:26:56,583 --> 01:27:00,200 Well, then at least let us save his. 2094 01:27:03,890 --> 01:27:05,558 You want to hear something crazy? 2095 01:27:05,992 --> 01:27:10,430 An amateur magician rolled through here a while back. 2096 01:27:10,697 --> 01:27:12,265 I killed him, of course. 2097 01:27:12,265 --> 01:27:15,902 Wore his skin around for four days. 2098 01:27:16,169 --> 01:27:17,103 But 2099 01:27:17,103 --> 01:27:18,838 I found this 2100 01:27:18,838 --> 01:27:20,707 little trinket 2101 01:27:20,707 --> 01:27:22,976 on his lovely fingers. 2102 01:27:22,976 --> 01:27:24,978 [Deadpool] Strange! 2103 01:27:25,979 --> 01:27:26,613 [Deadpool gasps] 2104 01:27:26,613 --> 01:27:30,150 - Marvel sparkle circle. - [Wolverine] What is that? 2105 01:27:30,150 --> 01:27:31,918 This is your way home. 2106 01:27:31,918 --> 01:27:34,200 I do owe you for saving my life. 2107 01:27:34,200 --> 01:27:35,655 But let’s keep things interesting. 2108 01:27:35,655 --> 01:27:37,757 I’d say you have about four seconds 2109 01:27:37,757 --> 01:27:40,600 before you’re Alioth’s food. 2110 01:27:40,226 --> 01:27:42,429 [Alioth growling] 2111 01:27:43,296 --> 01:27:45,398 [Deadpool chuckles] Race ya. 2112 01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:49,769 [♪ slow jazz plays, Jimmy Durante "I’ll Be Seeing You"] 2113 01:27:49,769 --> 01:27:53,373 ♪ I’ll be seeing you ♪ 2114 01:27:53,373 --> 01:27:58,812 ♪ In all the old familiar places ♪ 2115 01:27:58,812 --> 01:28:04,484 ♪ That this heart of mine embraces ♪ 2116 01:28:04,484 --> 01:28:07,320 ♪ All day through ♪ 2117 01:28:09,789 --> 01:28:14,394 ♪ In that small cafe ♪ 2118 01:28:14,561 --> 01:28:19,199 - ♪ The park across the way ♪ - [screaming] 2119 01:28:20,330 --> 01:28:24,437 ♪ The children’s carousel ♪ 2120 01:28:24,437 --> 01:28:30,810 ♪ The chestnut trees, the wishing well ♪ 2121 01:28:31,711 --> 01:28:35,315 ♪ I’ll be seeing you ♪ 2122 01:28:35,315 --> 01:28:39,719 ♪ In every lovely summer’s day ♪ 2123 01:28:39,719 --> 01:28:40,286 [screams] 2124 01:28:40,286 --> 01:28:45,125 ♪ I’ll find you in the morning sun ♪ 2125 01:28:45,125 --> 01:28:50,430 ♪ And when the night is new ♪ 2126 01:28:51,898 --> 01:28:58,471 ♪ I’ll be looking at the moon ♪ 2127 01:28:58,938 --> 01:29:05,110 ♪ But I’ll be seeing you ♪ 2128 01:29:05,110 --> 01:29:07,130 [Alioth snarls] 2129 01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:10,183 [Peter] And as I said, we’ve got a standard three-year 2130 01:29:10,183 --> 01:29:11,584 bumper to bumper warranty. 2131 01:29:11,584 --> 01:29:13,153 Glad you gave us a second chance. 2132 01:29:13,153 --> 01:29:14,788 And don’t worry. Wade and I are a team, 2133 01:29:14,788 --> 01:29:17,457 so I’ll see he gets half the commission-- 2134 01:29:17,590 --> 01:29:18,291 [all gasp] 2135 01:29:18,291 --> 01:29:19,292 - [Deadpool groans] - Whoa. 2136 01:29:19,292 --> 01:29:21,294 [Deadpool] That feels like a Kia. 2137 01:29:21,294 --> 01:29:25,231 It’s a ****ing Kia Carnival, isn’t it? [groans] 2138 01:29:25,598 --> 01:29:28,702 Holy shit. That’s Deadpool. 2139 01:29:28,702 --> 01:29:29,536 And that’s Wolverine. 2140 01:29:29,536 --> 01:29:31,204 [Deadpool] You’re damn straight it is. 2141 01:29:31,204 --> 01:29:32,138 Fox killed him. 2142 01:29:32,138 --> 01:29:32,872 Disney brought him back. 2143 01:29:32,872 --> 01:29:35,542 They’re going to make him do this till he’s 90. 2144 01:29:35,675 --> 01:29:36,976 Let’s go. 2145 01:29:36,976 --> 01:29:38,678 [Peter] I’ll clock you out! 2146 01:29:38,678 --> 01:29:40,513 [Deadpool] Forever! 2147 01:29:40,880 --> 01:29:42,382 Forever. 2148 01:29:49,550 --> 01:29:49,756 Wakey-wakey. 2149 01:29:49,756 --> 01:29:52,425 - [snorts] God? - [chuckles] 2150 01:29:52,525 --> 01:29:56,229 Now, you put all these bullets in my belly, 2151 01:29:56,229 --> 01:29:58,865 and I’m gonna find out why. 2152 01:29:58,865 --> 01:30:00,467 Whoa, whoa! 2153 01:30:00,567 --> 01:30:01,935 I’ll just say it. 2154 01:30:01,935 --> 01:30:04,170 You don’t have to stick your fingers in me. 2155 01:30:04,170 --> 01:30:07,307 Jesus, just ask sometimes. 2156 01:30:07,307 --> 01:30:08,975 Fine. 2157 01:30:09,743 --> 01:30:11,440 Really? 2158 01:30:11,440 --> 01:30:12,245 Hands in pockets. 2159 01:30:12,245 --> 01:30:13,880 [breathing heavily] 2160 01:30:13,880 --> 01:30:15,515 Guy named Paradox. 2161 01:30:15,515 --> 01:30:16,750 He said he’d get me out of The Void. 2162 01:30:16,750 --> 01:30:19,652 All I know is he works for the TVA. 2163 01:30:19,652 --> 01:30:20,320 The TVA. 2164 01:30:20,320 --> 01:30:21,621 We had an agreement. 2165 01:30:21,621 --> 01:30:23,823 I don’t think this guy cares. 2166 01:30:23,823 --> 01:30:26,226 Huh. He will. 2167 01:30:26,226 --> 01:30:26,826 Hey, people! 2168 01:30:26,826 --> 01:30:29,229 How much longer before the Time Ripper is active? 2169 01:30:29,229 --> 01:30:30,697 We’re running the final safety checks. 2170 01:30:30,697 --> 01:30:33,800 Oh, okay. All right. Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph. 2171 01:30:33,800 --> 01:30:35,335 - Take your time. - Really? 2172 01:30:35,335 --> 01:30:37,103 No, you drooling boob! 2173 01:30:37,103 --> 01:30:37,871 No! We have company. 2174 01:30:37,871 --> 01:30:41,808 Cancel the safety checks. We need to be live now! 2175 01:30:41,808 --> 01:30:44,110 Oh, I hate you so much. 2176 01:30:45,679 --> 01:30:46,279 No! Stop! 2177 01:30:46,279 --> 01:30:47,747 Piss off! You’re too late. 2178 01:30:47,747 --> 01:30:50,500 - You’re ****in’ done. - Why was Thor crying? 2179 01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:50,950 [Mr. Paradox] How dare you! 2180 01:30:50,950 --> 01:30:53,653 No one comes back from The Void. 2181 01:30:53,653 --> 01:30:56,220 Tell that to Cassandra Nova. 2182 01:30:56,156 --> 01:30:59,225 [♪ choral music playing] 2183 01:31:03,897 --> 01:31:06,833 Paradox. We have a problem. 2184 01:31:07,670 --> 01:31:08,802 [bones snap] 2185 01:31:08,935 --> 01:31:10,970 [Cassandra] Paradox. 2186 01:31:11,771 --> 01:31:15,410 Well, you are doughier than you looked in Pyro’s head. 2187 01:31:15,410 --> 01:31:16,343 You tried to kill me. 2188 01:31:16,343 --> 01:31:17,944 I literally have no i-- 2189 01:31:17,944 --> 01:31:20,130 [Cassandra] You come for the king, 2190 01:31:20,130 --> 01:31:22,820 you better kill the king. 2191 01:31:22,820 --> 01:31:22,816 [Deadpool] Oh-ho-ho! 2192 01:31:22,816 --> 01:31:25,510 Welcome to the skull **** club, Paradox. 2193 01:31:25,510 --> 01:31:27,787 You know she doesn’t wash that hand. 2194 01:31:27,787 --> 01:31:29,622 - Oh. - [grunting strainfully] 2195 01:31:29,622 --> 01:31:31,257 What’s this? 2196 01:31:31,958 --> 01:31:33,226 A Time Ripper? 2197 01:31:33,226 --> 01:31:33,860 Naughty boy. 2198 01:31:33,860 --> 01:31:34,894 [Deadpool] Oh, no. We’re on it. 2199 01:31:34,894 --> 01:31:36,363 We’re gonna head down and dismantle that thing now. 2200 01:31:36,363 --> 01:31:39,232 We got ya, boo. You just keep playing those keys. 2201 01:31:39,232 --> 01:31:41,735 I don’t want to destroy it. 2202 01:31:41,735 --> 01:31:42,736 I want to use it. 2203 01:31:42,736 --> 01:31:46,339 Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. 2204 01:31:46,339 --> 01:31:48,441 [both yelling] 2205 01:31:51,878 --> 01:31:52,612 [groans] 2206 01:31:52,612 --> 01:31:54,748 You know, the funny thing is, 2207 01:31:54,748 --> 01:31:56,249 I was happy in The Void. 2208 01:31:56,249 --> 01:32:00,186 You sent your trash to me. Alioth and I cleaned it up. 2209 01:32:00,186 --> 01:32:02,550 Everyone was happy. 2210 01:32:02,550 --> 01:32:05,925 And then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. 2211 01:32:05,925 --> 01:32:08,828 And so now the fence must come down. 2212 01:32:08,828 --> 01:32:10,797 I’m going to use your little Time Ripper. 2213 01:32:10,797 --> 01:32:13,533 And I’m going to destroy this universe 2214 01:32:13,533 --> 01:32:16,302 and the next and the next and the next 2215 01:32:16,302 --> 01:32:20,340 until all that’s left is The Void. 2216 01:32:20,340 --> 01:32:22,642 And I get to play God. 2217 01:32:22,642 --> 01:32:24,210 - Come on. - [Mr. Paradox groans] 2218 01:32:24,210 --> 01:32:25,111 Now you’re going to show me 2219 01:32:25,111 --> 01:32:26,913 how to use this fancy gadget of yours. 2220 01:32:26,913 --> 01:32:28,915 And don’t worry, I’ve called some friends 2221 01:32:28,915 --> 01:32:31,518 to make sure we’re not disturbed. 2222 01:32:33,653 --> 01:32:34,854 - [knock at door] - Sorry to bother, madam, 2223 01:32:34,854 --> 01:32:36,623 but there’s something you need to see. 2224 01:32:36,623 --> 01:32:39,726 We’re getting indications of an unsanctioned Time Ripper 2225 01:32:39,726 --> 01:32:42,829 activating on Earth-10005. 2226 01:32:43,797 --> 01:32:45,832 Whose district is that? 2227 01:32:46,320 --> 01:32:47,434 Paradox. 2228 01:32:54,941 --> 01:32:57,777 [Mr. Paradox gasps, exhales] 2229 01:32:57,777 --> 01:33:00,180 Well, thank you so much for your help, darling. 2230 01:33:00,180 --> 01:33:02,816 God. Good to get out of that head. 2231 01:33:02,816 --> 01:33:05,485 Whew! What a mess! 2232 01:33:06,860 --> 01:33:08,188 [both groaning] 2233 01:33:12,392 --> 01:33:12,992 [Deadpool] Stop! 2234 01:33:12,992 --> 01:33:15,128 Let’s give it a beat for the extras to clear. 2235 01:33:15,128 --> 01:33:18,365 Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, my God! 2236 01:33:22,268 --> 01:33:25,772 - Oh. My. God. - ****. 2237 01:33:25,772 --> 01:33:30,430 [♪ classic rock music plays, "Make Me Lose Control"] 2238 01:33:32,879 --> 01:33:35,115 [Deadpool] It’s her! 2239 01:33:35,115 --> 01:33:38,118 - Come on, girl! - [Dogpool barks] 2240 01:33:38,818 --> 01:33:39,285 [barks] 2241 01:33:39,285 --> 01:33:40,954 ♪ Was love always this good ♪ 2242 01:33:40,954 --> 01:33:44,900 ♪ Or could this be just the start? ♪ 2243 01:33:44,900 --> 01:33:46,260 Come on, girl! 2244 01:33:46,260 --> 01:33:47,460 ♪ Baby, baby ♪ 2245 01:33:47,460 --> 01:33:52,599 ♪ Turn the radio up for that sweet sound ♪ 2246 01:33:52,599 --> 01:33:56,970 ♪ Hold me close, never let me go ♪ 2247 01:33:56,970 --> 01:33:59,873 ♪ Keep this feelin’ alive... ♪ 2248 01:33:59,873 --> 01:34:00,874 That’s my girl! 2249 01:34:00,874 --> 01:34:02,175 We don’t have to be apart 2250 01:34:02,175 --> 01:34:04,310 ever, ever again. Never, ever... 2251 01:34:04,310 --> 01:34:05,912 - Sorry! - [Deadpool] ****! 2252 01:34:05,912 --> 01:34:06,613 [♪ song stops] 2253 01:34:06,613 --> 01:34:08,248 What’s Cafe Gratitude doing here? 2254 01:34:08,248 --> 01:34:09,783 - Sorry about that. - [Dogpool whimpering] 2255 01:34:09,783 --> 01:34:12,218 [Deadpool] Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins. 2256 01:34:12,218 --> 01:34:13,987 [whispers] I’ll handle him. 2257 01:34:13,987 --> 01:34:14,921 Come here, girl. Papa’s here. 2258 01:34:14,921 --> 01:34:18,224 [Deadpool] Hey, do not insult this animal’s autonomy. 2259 01:34:18,224 --> 01:34:20,660 She can decide who her papa is. 2260 01:34:20,660 --> 01:34:21,661 What’s it gonna be, girl, huh? 2261 01:34:21,661 --> 01:34:23,797 Original recipe or Van Milder here? 2262 01:34:23,797 --> 01:34:28,635 Ah, that’s funny. I can gently tap the fourth wall too. 2263 01:34:28,635 --> 01:34:30,403 The Proposal. 2264 01:34:31,370 --> 01:34:32,500 [Deadpool] The **** was that? 2265 01:34:32,500 --> 01:34:34,400 *****, you think that’s what I do? 2266 01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:35,800 Both of you shut up. 2267 01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:37,344 - [sniffs] - You smell somethin’? 2268 01:34:37,344 --> 01:34:38,440 Yeah, you. 2269 01:34:38,440 --> 01:34:40,213 - [sniffs] - A lot of you. 2270 01:34:40,213 --> 01:34:43,950 [♪ dramatic mysterious music playing] 2271 01:34:54,728 --> 01:34:55,228 [tink] 2272 01:34:55,228 --> 01:34:57,864 Told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there. 2273 01:34:57,864 --> 01:35:01,000 [♪ dramatic music continues] 2274 01:35:09,709 --> 01:35:11,544 [Deadpool] That’s bad. 2275 01:35:29,129 --> 01:35:31,310 [neck cracks] 2276 01:35:31,998 --> 01:35:32,932 [♪ music fades out] 2277 01:35:32,932 --> 01:35:34,701 I take it they’re not friendly. 2278 01:35:34,701 --> 01:35:35,435 [Nicepool] Goodness, no. 2279 01:35:35,435 --> 01:35:37,103 Sorry about this, boys. Mission over. 2280 01:35:37,103 --> 01:35:40,907 Cause of death, one hundred kill-thirsty Deadpools. 2281 01:35:40,907 --> 01:35:41,541 They’re dumb. 2282 01:35:41,541 --> 01:35:42,776 But they can fight. Not me, though. 2283 01:35:42,776 --> 01:35:45,912 Would love to get in the mix, but I have low bone density 2284 01:35:45,912 --> 01:35:47,781 and I have to keep my face safe. 2285 01:35:47,781 --> 01:35:49,150 [Deadpool smooches] Hold, please. 2286 01:35:49,150 --> 01:35:51,985 - Oh, God. - [Deadpool] All right. Look. 2287 01:35:51,985 --> 01:35:53,486 Guys! 2288 01:35:53,987 --> 01:35:55,255 Deadpool Prime here. 2289 01:35:55,255 --> 01:35:57,223 - Our fight isn’t with you-- - [kid] Hey! 2290 01:35:57,223 --> 01:35:58,258 When I want your opinion, 2291 01:35:58,258 --> 01:36:00,827 I’ll take Wolverine’s **** out of your mouth. 2292 01:36:00,827 --> 01:36:02,662 That’s Kidpool. She’s the dirtiest. 2293 01:36:02,662 --> 01:36:03,697 [Deadpool] Can we just be done? 2294 01:36:03,697 --> 01:36:05,899 [Ladypool] Ooh, we’re just getting started. 2295 01:36:05,899 --> 01:36:06,866 [Deadpool] No, no, no, no, no. 2296 01:36:06,866 --> 01:36:10,270 With the whole multiverse thing. 2297 01:36:10,670 --> 01:36:11,905 It’s not great. 2298 01:36:11,905 --> 01:36:13,773 It’s just been miss 2299 01:36:13,773 --> 01:36:15,275 after miss 2300 01:36:15,275 --> 01:36:16,609 after miss. 2301 01:36:16,609 --> 01:36:19,790 Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, 2302 01:36:22,749 --> 01:36:25,552 I think it’s been steadily great since Endgame. 2303 01:36:25,552 --> 01:36:27,587 [Ladypool] What are you talking about? 2304 01:36:27,587 --> 01:36:28,822 The multiverse is over. 2305 01:36:28,822 --> 01:36:30,323 [Cowboypool] Cassandy gonna destroy 2306 01:36:30,323 --> 01:36:31,925 the **** outta every timeline. 2307 01:36:31,925 --> 01:36:33,560 Heh. Y’all can’t do shit about it. 2308 01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:34,461 [Deadpool] Do you not get it? 2309 01:36:34,461 --> 01:36:35,829 If we don’t go down to the subway 2310 01:36:35,829 --> 01:36:36,696 and stop her, we all die. 2311 01:36:36,696 --> 01:36:37,997 [Cowboypool] Say, the boss lady 2312 01:36:37,997 --> 01:36:38,998 don’t want no disturbances. 2313 01:36:38,998 --> 01:36:41,134 You wanna get down to the subway, 2314 01:36:41,134 --> 01:36:42,569 you gotta go through us. 2315 01:36:42,569 --> 01:36:43,603 Uzi time, baby. 2316 01:36:43,603 --> 01:36:44,738 [Ladypool] Uzi time, baby. 2317 01:36:44,738 --> 01:36:46,740 [Deadpool] Look alive! 2318 01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:48,641 [Headpool yells] 2319 01:36:54,647 --> 01:36:55,115 [grunts] 2320 01:36:55,115 --> 01:36:57,830 - I think I’m hit. - [Wolverine] No shit. 2321 01:36:57,830 --> 01:36:57,851 You did that on purpose. 2322 01:36:57,851 --> 01:36:59,919 [Deadpool] I did no such thing! 2323 01:36:59,919 --> 01:37:00,653 Listen to me, gorgeous. 2324 01:37:00,653 --> 01:37:02,722 How long does it take for you to regenerate? 2325 01:37:02,722 --> 01:37:04,657 Regenerate? 2326 01:37:05,592 --> 01:37:08,695 - [crow caws] - [Dogpool grunts] 2327 01:37:08,695 --> 01:37:09,362 [retches] 2328 01:37:09,362 --> 01:37:11,531 You really are God’s perfect idiot, aren’t you? 2329 01:37:11,531 --> 01:37:13,166 - I’m okay. - [Deadpool] How dare you! 2330 01:37:13,166 --> 01:37:14,834 You insensitive son of a *****! 2331 01:37:14,834 --> 01:37:17,537 How was I supposed to know he doesn’t regenerate? 2332 01:37:17,537 --> 01:37:18,538 I’m not a medicine woman. 2333 01:37:18,538 --> 01:37:21,341 Look. A donut cart. They’re practically hospitals. 2334 01:37:21,341 --> 01:37:22,275 - What? - [Deadpool] They sell 2335 01:37:22,275 --> 01:37:23,476 - portable triage units. - They don’t. 2336 01:37:23,476 --> 01:37:24,778 [Deadpool] I’m gonna get you to safety. 2337 01:37:24,778 --> 01:37:27,681 - He’s not. - [Deadpool] Deep breath. 2338 01:37:34,387 --> 01:37:34,988 [panting] 2339 01:37:34,988 --> 01:37:36,790 Hey, why are we stopping? 2340 01:37:36,790 --> 01:37:37,957 [Deadpool] I’m just catching my breath. 2341 01:37:37,957 --> 01:37:41,361 What, are your legs on vacation? You’re dead weight! 2342 01:37:41,361 --> 01:37:42,429 That’s because I’m paralyzed. 2343 01:37:42,429 --> 01:37:45,498 [Deadpool] We all have problems. Listen to me. 2344 01:37:45,498 --> 01:37:47,133 You’re gonna live. 2345 01:37:47,534 --> 01:37:48,802 Look at me, Nicepool. 2346 01:37:48,802 --> 01:37:51,370 [gunfire continues] 2347 01:37:52,772 --> 01:37:54,741 You’re gonna live. 2348 01:37:54,908 --> 01:37:56,609 Say it! 2349 01:37:56,609 --> 01:37:57,744 I’m gonna live. 2350 01:37:57,744 --> 01:38:00,460 Say it with me. You’re gonna live. 2351 01:38:00,460 --> 01:38:01,948 [fumbling] I’m gonna live! 2352 01:38:01,948 --> 01:38:06,190 [Deadpool] Ha-hah! Say it louder! 2353 01:38:06,190 --> 01:38:07,887 I’m gonna live-- 2354 01:38:10,490 --> 01:38:12,125 [gunfire] 2355 01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:18,164 Hold your fire! 2356 01:38:19,432 --> 01:38:21,534 Sweet little puppy. 2357 01:38:30,543 --> 01:38:32,450 [Deadpool grunting] God damn it! 2358 01:38:32,450 --> 01:38:34,547 I don’t think he’s gonna make it. 2359 01:38:34,547 --> 01:38:36,490 God, he loved his face. 2360 01:38:36,490 --> 01:38:38,885 I can taste his final thought. 2361 01:38:38,885 --> 01:38:40,520 He was so afraid. 2362 01:38:40,520 --> 01:38:41,354 But he died a hero. 2363 01:38:41,354 --> 01:38:43,256 He died from murder, you dumb ****. 2364 01:38:43,256 --> 01:38:46,292 [Deadpool] And all I have to remember him by 2365 01:38:46,459 --> 01:38:47,994 are these two gold-plated, 2366 01:38:47,994 --> 01:38:50,764 ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros. 2367 01:38:50,764 --> 01:38:52,298 This is for him. 2368 01:38:52,432 --> 01:38:53,767 Are you ready? 2369 01:38:53,767 --> 01:38:55,835 I get to kill a hundred yous? 2370 01:38:55,835 --> 01:38:57,670 **** yeah, I’m ready. 2371 01:38:57,670 --> 01:38:59,506 Hey, you don’t want to see this, bub. 2372 01:38:59,506 --> 01:39:00,407 [Deadpool] That’s a good girl. 2373 01:39:00,407 --> 01:39:04,544 [♪ ’80s pop music plays, Madonna "Like a Prayer"] 2374 01:39:04,911 --> 01:39:09,249 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2375 01:39:09,249 --> 01:39:13,520 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2376 01:39:13,520 --> 01:39:18,525 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2377 01:39:18,525 --> 01:39:23,263 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2378 01:39:23,263 --> 01:39:26,660 ♪ Home... ♪ 2379 01:39:37,644 --> 01:39:38,845 [Deadpool] Holy shit. 2380 01:39:38,845 --> 01:39:41,781 You save the good stuff for special occasions? 2381 01:39:41,781 --> 01:39:42,582 Killing, mostly. 2382 01:39:42,582 --> 01:39:44,500 [Deadpool] What’s the wind resistance 2383 01:39:44,500 --> 01:39:44,984 on those blowjob handles? 2384 01:39:44,984 --> 01:39:46,886 - [grunts] - [laughs] I’m sorry. 2385 01:39:46,886 --> 01:39:49,923 I’m just a catty ***** when I’m jealous. 2386 01:39:49,923 --> 01:39:51,858 All right, let’s do this. 2387 01:39:51,858 --> 01:39:53,760 Maximum effort. 2388 01:39:55,729 --> 01:39:57,597 [♪ song pauses] 2389 01:40:00,500 --> 01:40:02,635 [Deadpools yelling] 2390 01:40:02,736 --> 01:40:04,300 - [♪ song resumes playing] - [all grunting] 2391 01:40:04,300 --> 01:40:07,440 ♪ When you call my name It’s like a little prayer ♪ 2392 01:40:07,440 --> 01:40:11,678 ♪ I’m down on my knees I want to take you there ♪ 2393 01:40:11,678 --> 01:40:15,815 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2394 01:40:15,815 --> 01:40:20,820 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I’ll take you there ♪ 2395 01:40:20,820 --> 01:40:24,691 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2396 01:40:24,691 --> 01:40:28,828 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2397 01:40:28,828 --> 01:40:32,766 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2398 01:40:32,766 --> 01:40:33,633 You’re dead. 2399 01:40:33,633 --> 01:40:38,571 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2400 01:40:39,639 --> 01:40:40,807 [Deadpools yelling] 2401 01:40:40,807 --> 01:40:42,609 ♪ Let the choir sing ♪ 2402 01:40:42,609 --> 01:40:46,713 ♪ When you call my name It’s like a little prayer ♪ 2403 01:40:46,713 --> 01:40:51,840 ♪ I’m down on my knees I wanna take you there ♪ 2404 01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:55,188 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2405 01:40:55,188 --> 01:40:59,693 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I’ll take you there ♪ 2406 01:40:59,693 --> 01:41:01,661 Mother****er. 2407 01:41:01,661 --> 01:41:02,896 I wish I were deaf. 2408 01:41:02,896 --> 01:41:03,997 ♪ I’ll take you there ♪ 2409 01:41:03,997 --> 01:41:05,532 ♪ It’s like a dream to me ♪ 2410 01:41:05,532 --> 01:41:07,634 ♪ Oh oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ 2411 01:41:07,634 --> 01:41:10,737 ♪ Just like a prayer, I’ll take you there ♪ 2412 01:41:10,737 --> 01:41:12,238 ♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪ 2413 01:41:12,238 --> 01:41:14,841 ♪ It’s like a dream to me ♪ 2414 01:41:14,841 --> 01:41:17,711 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 2415 01:41:17,711 --> 01:41:22,182 ♪ It’s like a prayer... ♪ 2416 01:41:22,415 --> 01:41:25,352 [crying Deadpool] I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna die. 2417 01:41:25,352 --> 01:41:26,986 I don’t wanna... 2418 01:41:33,793 --> 01:41:36,796 [♪ outro music playing] 2419 01:41:37,931 --> 01:41:39,866 - [♪ song ends] - [Deadpool grunts] 2420 01:41:39,866 --> 01:41:41,401 [Deadpool] Come on. 2421 01:41:41,401 --> 01:41:42,350 Oh, I blew it. 2422 01:41:42,350 --> 01:41:44,437 After all that, the only thing they’re gonna remember 2423 01:41:44,437 --> 01:41:47,730 is that God-awful dismount! 2424 01:41:47,507 --> 01:41:49,542 [giggling] 2425 01:41:50,610 --> 01:41:52,846 What you laughing at, you little ****er? 2426 01:41:52,846 --> 01:41:54,800 [Babypool] Uh-oh. 2427 01:41:54,800 --> 01:41:55,382 [Deadpool] Uh-oh. 2428 01:41:55,382 --> 01:41:57,484 [Babypool cooing] 2429 01:41:57,484 --> 01:41:59,386 [Babypool giggling] 2430 01:41:59,386 --> 01:42:01,888 I guess these ones regenerate. 2431 01:42:02,789 --> 01:42:05,792 Come on. We don’t have time for this. 2432 01:42:05,792 --> 01:42:06,960 [Peter] Deadpools! 2433 01:42:06,960 --> 01:42:08,862 Stand down. 2434 01:42:08,995 --> 01:42:12,650 [♪ heroic music playing] 2435 01:42:18,605 --> 01:42:20,730 This Deadpool’s with me. 2436 01:42:20,730 --> 01:42:21,508 [Deadpool] Oh, no. 2437 01:42:21,508 --> 01:42:22,609 [Ladypool] Holy shit. 2438 01:42:22,609 --> 01:42:24,544 [Kidpool] That’s ****in’ Peter! 2439 01:42:24,544 --> 01:42:26,780 [Deadpools cheering] 2440 01:42:26,946 --> 01:42:28,548 [Deadpool] Wait, you... You guys know Peter? 2441 01:42:28,548 --> 01:42:30,950 [Ladypool] You kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter. 2442 01:42:30,950 --> 01:42:33,720 [Cowboypool] Shit. Peter’s a goddamn legend 2443 01:42:33,720 --> 01:42:35,455 in every Deadpool’s world. 2444 01:42:35,455 --> 01:42:37,757 Peter- san. Hai. 2445 01:42:37,757 --> 01:42:40,600 [Deadpools cheering] 2446 01:42:43,897 --> 01:42:44,531 [Peter laughs] 2447 01:42:44,531 --> 01:42:46,499 [Deadpools chanting] Peter. Peter. Peter. 2448 01:42:46,499 --> 01:42:49,803 Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. 2449 01:42:49,803 --> 01:42:52,872 - Peter. Peter. Peter. - [Peter laughing] 2450 01:42:52,872 --> 01:42:55,208 [Deadpool] Enjoy my Peter. 2451 01:42:55,208 --> 01:42:59,813 - [♪ tense music playing] - [Time Ripper thrumming] 2452 01:43:14,594 --> 01:43:16,863 [Time Ripper whirring] 2453 01:43:22,100 --> 01:43:22,736 Oh, now you’re here. 2454 01:43:22,736 --> 01:43:24,671 Oh, well, you’re too late. It’s all over. 2455 01:43:24,671 --> 01:43:25,372 Not yet, it’s not. 2456 01:43:25,372 --> 01:43:27,440 [Deadpool] Whoa. No, no, no. We’re very close. 2457 01:43:27,440 --> 01:43:28,842 Homestretch, folks. Promise. 2458 01:43:28,842 --> 01:43:30,243 Quick, let’s up the stakes. 2459 01:43:30,243 --> 01:43:31,444 If she steals the Time Ripper’s energy, 2460 01:43:31,444 --> 01:43:34,280 she has the power to shred the fabric of all realities 2461 01:43:34,280 --> 01:43:36,549 until there is nothing left but The Void. 2462 01:43:36,549 --> 01:43:37,917 How do we shut it down? 2463 01:43:37,917 --> 01:43:39,190 I don’t know. 2464 01:43:39,190 --> 01:43:40,553 [Mr. Paradox grunts] 2465 01:43:40,553 --> 01:43:41,388 [Wolverine] How about now? 2466 01:43:41,388 --> 01:43:42,722 [Deadpool] The mask is really intimidating, huh? 2467 01:43:42,722 --> 01:43:45,492 It’s like Batman, except he can move his neck. 2468 01:43:45,492 --> 01:43:47,627 Okay, look, look, look. 2469 01:43:47,627 --> 01:43:50,263 The Ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground. 2470 01:43:50,263 --> 01:43:53,733 It is powered by twin matter and anti-matter feeds 2471 01:43:53,733 --> 01:43:55,368 converging inside the device. 2472 01:43:55,368 --> 01:43:56,169 Now, Cassandra Nova 2473 01:43:56,169 --> 01:43:57,370 is redirecting the Ripper’s power 2474 01:43:57,370 --> 01:43:59,673 to eliminate all timelines, starting with this one. 2475 01:43:59,673 --> 01:44:00,740 Theoretically, you could stop her 2476 01:44:00,740 --> 01:44:02,642 by short-circuiting the feeds in the chamber below. 2477 01:44:02,642 --> 01:44:05,478 One of you were to create a circuit between the two feeds, 2478 01:44:05,478 --> 01:44:08,748 then the released power would destroy the machine. 2479 01:44:08,748 --> 01:44:10,717 - But, well... But-- - [Deadpool] Come on, man. 2480 01:44:10,717 --> 01:44:12,719 If you’re not gonna swallow, spit it out. 2481 01:44:12,719 --> 01:44:16,690 Whoever formed the bridge would be annihilated. 2482 01:44:16,690 --> 01:44:17,424 I could live with that. 2483 01:44:17,424 --> 01:44:18,892 [Deadpool] Yeah, I could live with that, too, actually. 2484 01:44:18,892 --> 01:44:20,293 You know, we survive anything. We’re like cockroaches. 2485 01:44:20,293 --> 01:44:21,661 - [Deadpool chuckles] - [Mr. Paradox] Not this time. 2486 01:44:21,661 --> 01:44:23,863 This is matter and anti-matter. 2487 01:44:23,863 --> 01:44:25,699 They do not play nicely with each other. 2488 01:44:25,699 --> 01:44:29,302 When they mix in your body, you will be atomized. 2489 01:44:29,302 --> 01:44:31,304 Trust the laws of physics if you don’t trust me. 2490 01:44:31,304 --> 01:44:34,107 Even if you lived long enough to make the circuit, 2491 01:44:34,107 --> 01:44:37,610 you will die down there. 2492 01:44:42,582 --> 01:44:44,250 [crackling] 2493 01:44:50,757 --> 01:44:53,760 [♪ dramatic choral music playing] 2494 01:44:53,760 --> 01:44:55,662 [moaning] 2495 01:45:01,901 --> 01:45:03,303 [Wolverine] Hold off. Hold. 2496 01:45:03,303 --> 01:45:04,537 You heard that asshole upstairs. 2497 01:45:04,537 --> 01:45:09,509 Even if we pull this off, we’re dead. Permanently. 2498 01:45:09,509 --> 01:45:12,812 - That’s why it’s got to be me. - What? 2499 01:45:15,815 --> 01:45:17,684 Look, man... [panting] 2500 01:45:17,684 --> 01:45:20,420 you didn’t ask for any of this. 2501 01:45:20,420 --> 01:45:21,921 You were right. 2502 01:45:21,921 --> 01:45:23,456 I lied. 2503 01:45:23,456 --> 01:45:24,791 I lied right to your face 2504 01:45:24,791 --> 01:45:28,280 just to get you to help me. And you did. 2505 01:45:28,428 --> 01:45:30,530 You didn’t lie. 2506 01:45:31,564 --> 01:45:33,833 You made an educated wish. 2507 01:45:36,503 --> 01:45:37,904 Come on. 2508 01:45:37,904 --> 01:45:40,907 You got a whole world to go back to. 2509 01:45:41,841 --> 01:45:43,610 I got nothin’. 2510 01:45:44,978 --> 01:45:46,746 I got nothin’. 2511 01:45:51,170 --> 01:45:52,786 Give me this. 2512 01:45:59,426 --> 01:46:00,994 Hey. 2513 01:46:04,297 --> 01:46:07,267 I waited a long time for this team-up. 2514 01:46:08,835 --> 01:46:10,770 You know something? 2515 01:46:11,705 --> 01:46:13,907 You were the best Wolverine. 2516 01:46:13,907 --> 01:46:17,770 [♪ sentimental music playing] 2517 01:46:21,948 --> 01:46:24,818 Say hi to your friends for me. 2518 01:46:32,859 --> 01:46:34,761 [Wolverine grunts] 2519 01:46:36,596 --> 01:46:37,497 No! 2520 01:46:37,497 --> 01:46:38,131 Open the door! 2521 01:46:38,131 --> 01:46:40,834 [Deadpool] I can’t hear you over all the noble sacrifice. 2522 01:46:40,834 --> 01:46:42,402 Why are you ****ing doing this? 2523 01:46:42,402 --> 01:46:46,573 [Deadpool] Because I’m Marvel Jesus. 2524 01:46:47,640 --> 01:46:49,142 Or Spock. 2525 01:46:49,809 --> 01:46:50,877 Hard to say. 2526 01:46:50,877 --> 01:46:52,746 [glass squeaks] 2527 01:46:53,513 --> 01:46:55,115 [smooches] 2528 01:46:55,415 --> 01:46:56,850 [Wolverine] Wade! 2529 01:46:56,850 --> 01:46:59,652 You ****ing idiot! 2530 01:47:02,322 --> 01:47:05,358 [Deadpool laughs] Sorry, I’m just stalling. 2531 01:47:05,358 --> 01:47:08,261 I think I’m nervous about dying. 2532 01:47:08,495 --> 01:47:09,562 This should be me. 2533 01:47:09,562 --> 01:47:11,998 [Deadpool] Say hi to my friends for me, peanut. 2534 01:47:11,998 --> 01:47:12,699 [Wolverine] Wade! 2535 01:47:12,699 --> 01:47:14,834 You want to be an annoying prick, do it this side! 2536 01:47:14,834 --> 01:47:17,570 You’re gonna die in there, you dumb ****! 2537 01:47:17,570 --> 01:47:19,739 [breathing heavily] 2538 01:47:23,977 --> 01:47:25,845 Hey! You don’t need to do this. 2539 01:47:25,845 --> 01:47:28,915 [Deadpool] I’m not doing it ’cause I need it. 2540 01:47:28,915 --> 01:47:31,718 I’m doing it because they do. 2541 01:47:31,718 --> 01:47:33,253 [grunts] 2542 01:47:34,988 --> 01:47:37,290 [straining] 2543 01:47:42,562 --> 01:47:44,164 No! 2544 01:47:44,597 --> 01:47:46,232 [grunting] 2545 01:47:47,834 --> 01:47:49,936 [straining] 2546 01:47:57,444 --> 01:47:58,878 [grunts] 2547 01:48:00,130 --> 01:48:02,148 [straining] 2548 01:48:08,540 --> 01:48:09,923 [exhales] 2549 01:48:09,923 --> 01:48:11,958 [continues straining] 2550 01:48:12,759 --> 01:48:15,280 He’s not gonna make it. 2551 01:48:17,931 --> 01:48:19,799 [strains] 2552 01:48:23,103 --> 01:48:24,871 It’s over. 2553 01:48:26,139 --> 01:48:27,741 [grunts] 2554 01:48:27,907 --> 01:48:29,776 [straining] 2555 01:48:32,345 --> 01:48:34,614 [continues straining] 2556 01:48:36,916 --> 01:48:37,517 [screaming] 2557 01:48:37,517 --> 01:48:38,852 [choir] ♪ When you call my name ♪ 2558 01:48:38,852 --> 01:48:40,620 ♪ It’s like a little prayer ♪ 2559 01:48:40,620 --> 01:48:42,655 ♪ I’m down on my knees ♪ 2560 01:48:42,655 --> 01:48:44,424 ♪ I want to take you there ♪ 2561 01:48:44,424 --> 01:48:48,328 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2562 01:48:48,328 --> 01:48:52,732 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I’ll take you there ♪ 2563 01:48:52,732 --> 01:48:53,466 [grunting] 2564 01:48:53,466 --> 01:48:55,402 ♪ Take you there ♪ 2565 01:48:55,402 --> 01:48:59,372 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2566 01:48:59,372 --> 01:49:02,842 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2567 01:49:02,842 --> 01:49:03,743 [straining] 2568 01:49:03,743 --> 01:49:07,480 - ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ - [grunting] 2569 01:49:07,480 --> 01:49:10,817 - ♪ And it feels like ♪ - [straining] 2570 01:49:11,718 --> 01:49:16,690 - ♪ And it feels like home ♪ - [straining] 2571 01:49:16,690 --> 01:49:18,692 [rumbling] 2572 01:49:24,798 --> 01:49:26,800 [yelling] 2573 01:49:26,800 --> 01:49:28,935 [screaming] 2574 01:49:30,336 --> 01:49:31,438 [♪ music fades] 2575 01:49:31,438 --> 01:49:33,707 [Deadpool] The Wolverine. 2576 01:49:33,707 --> 01:49:36,609 He’s a hero in my world. 2577 01:49:37,444 --> 01:49:39,112 [Wolverine] Whoever you think I am, 2578 01:49:39,112 --> 01:49:41,247 you got the wrong guy. 2579 01:49:41,481 --> 01:49:44,651 [Laura] You were always the wrong guy... 2580 01:49:45,385 --> 01:49:46,219 till you weren’t. 2581 01:49:46,219 --> 01:49:48,888 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪ 2582 01:49:48,888 --> 01:49:49,989 [Mr. Paradox] Wade. 2583 01:49:49,989 --> 01:49:51,925 ♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪ 2584 01:49:51,925 --> 01:49:56,529 Wade. You can finally, finally matter. 2585 01:49:56,529 --> 01:49:58,865 ♪ I hear you call my name ♪ 2586 01:49:58,865 --> 01:50:04,204 ♪ And it feels like ♪ 2587 01:50:04,371 --> 01:50:08,475 ♪ Home ♪ 2588 01:50:08,475 --> 01:50:09,409 [straining] 2589 01:50:09,409 --> 01:50:13,130 ♪ I hear your voice ♪ 2590 01:50:13,130 --> 01:50:13,713 Vanessa. 2591 01:50:13,713 --> 01:50:16,483 ♪ It’s like an angel sighing ♪ 2592 01:50:16,483 --> 01:50:17,283 I wanna see Vanessa. 2593 01:50:17,283 --> 01:50:21,955 ♪ I have no choice I hear your voice ♪ 2594 01:50:21,955 --> 01:50:23,656 ♪ Feels like flying ♪ 2595 01:50:23,656 --> 01:50:29,696 For the first time in my life, I am proud to wear this suit. 2596 01:50:29,963 --> 01:50:32,599 It means I’m an X-Man. 2597 01:50:34,467 --> 01:50:35,435 I am the X-Man. 2598 01:50:35,435 --> 01:50:36,803 ♪ I can feel your power ♪ 2599 01:50:36,803 --> 01:50:41,641 ♪ Just like a prayer You know I’ll take you there ♪ 2600 01:50:41,641 --> 01:50:42,242 [screaming] 2601 01:50:42,242 --> 01:50:45,712 ♪ When you call my name It’s like a little prayer ♪ 2602 01:50:45,712 --> 01:50:48,748 ♪ I’m down on my knees ♪ 2603 01:50:48,748 --> 01:50:49,349 [screaming] 2604 01:50:49,349 --> 01:50:53,887 ♪ In the midnight hour I can feel your power ♪ 2605 01:50:53,887 --> 01:50:54,888 ♪ Just like a prayer ♪ 2606 01:50:54,888 --> 01:51:00,293 ♪ You know I’ll take you, take you, take you ♪ 2607 01:51:01,861 --> 01:51:03,930 [♪ song fades out] 2608 01:51:10,303 --> 01:51:13,173 [♪ solemn music playing] 2609 01:51:19,979 --> 01:51:22,148 [woman] Paradox. 2610 01:51:23,350 --> 01:51:24,684 You’ve been busy. 2611 01:51:24,684 --> 01:51:25,518 Well, somebody had to be. 2612 01:51:25,518 --> 01:51:27,687 We had some strange readings from this location. 2613 01:51:27,687 --> 01:51:28,755 You wouldn’t know anything about 2614 01:51:28,755 --> 01:51:31,391 an unsanctioned Time Ripper, would you? 2615 01:51:31,391 --> 01:51:32,992 Uh, no. No. I wouldn’t know anything 2616 01:51:32,992 --> 01:51:34,728 about an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2617 01:51:34,728 --> 01:51:36,763 Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova. 2618 01:51:36,763 --> 01:51:37,530 Because I was assured 2619 01:51:37,530 --> 01:51:39,933 that she was safely held in The Void. But no, 2620 01:51:39,933 --> 01:51:41,868 she was here. And she fondled my brain. 2621 01:51:41,868 --> 01:51:44,604 - How did you let this happen? - You weren’t involved at all? 2622 01:51:44,604 --> 01:51:47,674 In stopping her, yes! Yes, I was. 2623 01:51:47,674 --> 01:51:48,608 But not nearly enough. 2624 01:51:48,608 --> 01:51:52,312 Not as much as the men who went down there after her. 2625 01:51:52,645 --> 01:51:54,114 My men. 2626 01:51:54,381 --> 01:51:55,915 My friends. 2627 01:51:56,649 --> 01:51:57,283 I warned them. 2628 01:51:57,283 --> 01:51:59,850 That they would be completely obliterated if they went. 2629 01:51:59,850 --> 01:52:01,654 But they went anyway. Like... 2630 01:52:02,756 --> 01:52:03,857 Like heroes. 2631 01:52:03,857 --> 01:52:05,625 [♪ somber music playing] 2632 01:52:05,625 --> 01:52:08,194 Because that’s who they were. 2633 01:52:09,863 --> 01:52:12,632 They just did what they had to do. 2634 01:52:12,732 --> 01:52:15,635 With no concern for their own safety. 2635 01:52:17,804 --> 01:52:21,574 The fact that we are all still standing here 2636 01:52:21,574 --> 01:52:25,311 is a testament to their heroism. 2637 01:52:27,881 --> 01:52:29,649 Anyway, there’s nothing you or I can do 2638 01:52:29,649 --> 01:52:31,551 to bring them back now. 2639 01:52:32,520 --> 01:52:34,721 [Deadpool] He has risen, baby girl. 2640 01:52:34,721 --> 01:52:35,221 ****! 2641 01:52:35,221 --> 01:52:39,192 ♪ And I don’t want the world to see me ♪ 2642 01:52:39,192 --> 01:52:44,197 ♪ ’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand ♪ 2643 01:52:44,197 --> 01:52:48,368 ♪ When everything’s made to be broken ♪ 2644 01:52:48,368 --> 01:52:54,507 ♪ I just want you to know who I am ♪ 2645 01:52:54,507 --> 01:52:55,675 [Deadpool] Found your new Anchor Being. 2646 01:52:55,675 --> 01:52:58,445 And we’re doing just fine, you piece of shit. 2647 01:52:58,445 --> 01:53:00,714 - [female TVA agent] Mm. - [male TVA agent] Mm-hmm. 2648 01:53:00,714 --> 01:53:01,481 Fine indeed. 2649 01:53:01,481 --> 01:53:05,180 [Deadpool] All right. Put your greasy **** away, 2650 01:53:05,180 --> 01:53:05,885 you preening ****. 2651 01:53:05,885 --> 01:53:08,455 - [sighs] - I don’t understand. 2652 01:53:08,455 --> 01:53:09,322 How are you two still alive? 2653 01:53:09,322 --> 01:53:11,691 [Deadpool] You were right. One of us would have been killed. 2654 01:53:11,691 --> 01:53:13,693 - [gasps] - But you put a Deadpool 2655 01:53:13,693 --> 01:53:14,527 and a Wolverine together, 2656 01:53:14,527 --> 01:53:17,397 make ’em hold hands while listening to Madonna... 2657 01:53:17,397 --> 01:53:19,466 indestructible, mother****er. 2658 01:53:19,466 --> 01:53:21,801 Let’s get this Deadpool Variant back to The Void. 2659 01:53:21,801 --> 01:53:23,370 [Deadpool] Wait, hold on. What? 2660 01:53:23,370 --> 01:53:24,371 [Peter] Nope. Actually... 2661 01:53:24,371 --> 01:53:26,439 This one’s homegrown, like me. 2662 01:53:26,439 --> 01:53:27,774 He belongs here. 2663 01:53:27,774 --> 01:53:28,375 And you are? 2664 01:53:28,375 --> 01:53:32,112 Peterpool. But you can call me Peter. 2665 01:53:32,946 --> 01:53:34,914 And I hope that you do. 2666 01:53:40,200 --> 01:53:41,988 What the **** is happening here? 2667 01:53:41,988 --> 01:53:43,390 You are under judgment 2668 01:53:43,390 --> 01:53:45,592 for operating an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 2669 01:53:45,592 --> 01:53:46,960 - Take him. - I was just doing what 2670 01:53:46,960 --> 01:53:48,762 you don’t have the guts to do. 2671 01:53:48,762 --> 01:53:49,496 [Deadpool smooches] 2672 01:53:49,496 --> 01:53:53,299 Get your insolent hands off me! Get off! 2673 01:53:53,833 --> 01:53:56,236 I’m grateful, gentlemen. 2674 01:53:56,436 --> 01:53:57,170 Let’s hold the bows. 2675 01:53:57,170 --> 01:53:59,706 You led an Omega-level mutant to this timeline. 2676 01:53:59,706 --> 01:54:01,374 - [Deadpool] You’re welcome. - And you 2677 01:54:01,374 --> 01:54:02,942 shouldn’t even be near this timeline. 2678 01:54:02,942 --> 01:54:05,478 - [Deadpool] He’s welcome. - And you 2679 01:54:05,478 --> 01:54:07,580 look damn good in that suit. 2680 01:54:07,580 --> 01:54:09,249 I’m so sorry. 2681 01:54:09,482 --> 01:54:11,117 [device beeping] 2682 01:54:12,819 --> 01:54:15,255 I wanna show you something. 2683 01:54:15,789 --> 01:54:16,389 Something huge. 2684 01:54:16,389 --> 01:54:19,592 [Deadpool] That’s what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say. 2685 01:54:20,560 --> 01:54:21,861 Do you see that? 2686 01:54:21,861 --> 01:54:24,564 Your universe is regenerating. 2687 01:54:24,731 --> 01:54:26,399 Whatever you did here, 2688 01:54:26,399 --> 01:54:28,568 you not only saved your world. 2689 01:54:28,568 --> 01:54:32,720 You spared your timeline from extinction. 2690 01:54:33,406 --> 01:54:34,700 I’d rest up. 2691 01:54:34,700 --> 01:54:36,609 I have a feeling your work is only just getting started. 2692 01:54:36,609 --> 01:54:39,446 [Deadpool whispers] Till you’re 90. 2693 01:54:39,446 --> 01:54:40,313 Wait! Um... 2694 01:54:40,313 --> 01:54:44,184 We couldn’t have made it out of The Void without some help 2695 01:54:44,184 --> 01:54:47,787 from some people that the world kind of... 2696 01:54:47,787 --> 01:54:48,388 kind of forgot. 2697 01:54:48,388 --> 01:54:51,624 Is there any way that you could maybe find a way 2698 01:54:51,624 --> 01:54:53,626 to bring them home? 2699 01:54:54,561 --> 01:54:55,362 I’ll see what I can do. 2700 01:54:55,362 --> 01:54:58,310 [Deadpool] And, um, I promised my friend here 2701 01:54:58,310 --> 01:55:01,401 that the TVA could undo some pretty awful shit 2702 01:55:01,401 --> 01:55:02,350 in his timeline. 2703 01:55:02,350 --> 01:55:03,803 What would you say to that? 2704 01:55:03,803 --> 01:55:04,738 Change the past? 2705 01:55:04,738 --> 01:55:07,700 [Deadpool] Well, he did help me save the world. 2706 01:55:07,700 --> 01:55:10,643 And his past made him the man who did it. 2707 01:55:10,643 --> 01:55:14,470 There’s nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson. 2708 01:55:14,981 --> 01:55:16,649 Logan. 2709 01:55:18,818 --> 01:55:21,855 - [Deadpool] Shawarma? Yeah. - I could eat. 2710 01:55:30,363 --> 01:55:33,967 You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma. 2711 01:55:33,967 --> 01:55:36,669 They’d be lucky to have you. 2712 01:55:39,706 --> 01:55:42,750 [dog barking] 2713 01:55:43,900 --> 01:55:45,612 - Oh. - Oh, come on. 2714 01:55:45,612 --> 01:55:47,147 **** off! 2715 01:55:47,447 --> 01:55:48,748 Come here, my little cunchkin. 2716 01:55:48,748 --> 01:55:50,617 - [Dogpool barks] - Yes, it’s you. 2717 01:55:50,617 --> 01:55:52,852 You’re a survivor. 2718 01:55:52,852 --> 01:55:53,520 Mwah. 2719 01:55:53,520 --> 01:55:56,189 Oh, all is right in the world. 2720 01:55:56,890 --> 01:55:58,625 Yes, it is. 2721 01:55:59,426 --> 01:56:01,594 So what are you gonna do next? 2722 01:56:01,895 --> 01:56:05,980 I’ll figure it out. I always do. 2723 01:56:05,398 --> 01:56:07,000 All right. 2724 01:56:07,000 --> 01:56:08,301 So I’ll probably see you around? 2725 01:56:08,301 --> 01:56:12,205 [♪ soul music playing, "You’re All I Need to Get By"] 2726 01:56:13,773 --> 01:56:15,542 Probably not. 2727 01:56:18,440 --> 01:56:19,813 See you, bub. 2728 01:56:28,722 --> 01:56:30,557 [Wade] Logan. 2729 01:56:36,396 --> 01:56:38,631 Al. I’m back. 2730 01:56:38,631 --> 01:56:39,466 About damn time. 2731 01:56:39,466 --> 01:56:42,502 You holdin’? I’m all outta devil’s dandruff, 2732 01:56:42,502 --> 01:56:44,804 and I’m shaking like an angry vibrator. 2733 01:56:44,804 --> 01:56:47,607 Thank you, Al. We have company. 2734 01:56:47,607 --> 01:56:49,909 Althea, this is... 2735 01:56:49,909 --> 01:56:50,610 This is Logan. 2736 01:56:50,610 --> 01:56:52,479 - Nice to meet you, Logan. - Nice to meet you, too. 2737 01:56:52,479 --> 01:56:56,449 And this little ancient **** shit-knot is Mary Puppins. 2738 01:56:56,449 --> 01:56:58,718 Or as I like to call her, Dogpool. 2739 01:56:58,718 --> 01:57:01,821 You want to treat yourself to a little stroke? 2740 01:57:01,821 --> 01:57:04,991 - Get the tongue. There it is. - Oh, my God! Mother****er! 2741 01:57:04,991 --> 01:57:09,429 Right? It’s like an armadillo ****ed a gremlin, angrily, 2742 01:57:09,429 --> 01:57:10,997 - in a bed of gonorrhea... - Wow. 2743 01:57:10,997 --> 01:57:14,567 ...and didn’t stop till the sun came up. [chuckles] 2744 01:57:14,768 --> 01:57:16,436 Everyone wants to matter. 2745 01:57:16,436 --> 01:57:20,400 Turns out that you don’t need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. 2746 01:57:20,400 --> 01:57:23,810 You just need to open your eyes and look around. 2747 01:57:23,810 --> 01:57:25,712 And if you’re lucky, 2748 01:57:25,712 --> 01:57:27,847 you’ll find a few friends. 2749 01:57:27,847 --> 01:57:29,749 Old friends, 2750 01:57:29,749 --> 01:57:32,285 and some new ones too. 2751 01:57:33,453 --> 01:57:35,880 [laughter] 2752 01:57:35,755 --> 01:57:39,250 Give me the ****ing dog. Talk to the girl. 2753 01:57:43,290 --> 01:57:45,165 [indistinct chatter] 2754 01:57:49,200 --> 01:57:49,869 Oh, hi. 2755 01:57:49,869 --> 01:57:52,105 - Hi. - [both laugh] 2756 01:57:52,105 --> 01:57:53,740 [Wade clears throat] 2757 01:57:53,740 --> 01:57:55,575 You’ve been busy. 2758 01:57:57,811 --> 01:58:00,460 I did it for you. 2759 01:58:00,547 --> 01:58:04,517 And even if you don’t want me, I... I did it for you. 2760 01:58:13,590 --> 01:58:14,527 Turns out, 2761 01:58:14,527 --> 01:58:16,296 I am the world-saving type. 2762 01:58:16,296 --> 01:58:19,866 Just look around this table if you want proof. 2763 01:58:19,966 --> 01:58:21,701 And the best part? 2764 01:58:21,701 --> 01:58:24,604 Sometimes the people we save, 2765 01:58:24,604 --> 01:58:26,500 they save us right back. 2766 01:58:26,500 --> 01:58:27,574 [♪ "You’re All I Need to Get By" continues playing] 2767 01:58:27,574 --> 01:58:31,411 ♪ We’ve got the right foundation ♪ 2768 01:58:31,411 --> 01:58:36,282 ♪ And with the love and determination ♪ 2769 01:58:36,282 --> 01:58:46,259 ♪ You’re all, you’re all I need ♪ 2770 01:58:47,594 --> 01:58:49,129 ♪ You’re all ♪ 2771 01:58:49,129 --> 01:58:55,168 ♪ You’re all I need to get by ♪ 2772 01:58:57,704 --> 01:59:00,674 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 2773 01:59:00,674 --> 01:59:05,211 [♪ alt. rock music plays, Green Day "Time of Your Life"] 2774 01:59:05,812 --> 01:59:08,715 [Charles] You’re not the only one with gifts. 2775 01:59:08,715 --> 01:59:10,684 What is this place? 2776 01:59:19,920 --> 01:59:24,130 ♪ Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road ♪ 2777 01:59:24,130 --> 01:59:29,736 ♪ Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go ♪ 2778 01:59:29,736 --> 01:59:30,203 [groans] 2779 01:59:30,203 --> 01:59:33,840 ♪ So make the best of this test and don’t ask why ♪ 2780 01:59:33,840 --> 01:59:38,545 ♪ It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time ♪ 2781 01:59:38,545 --> 01:59:40,146 - Nice suit. - Zip it, Stan Lee. 2782 01:59:40,146 --> 01:59:41,614 ♪ It’s something unpredictable ♪ 2783 01:59:41,614 --> 01:59:43,717 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2784 01:59:43,717 --> 01:59:48,621 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪ 2785 01:59:48,621 --> 01:59:49,189 [laughter] 2786 01:59:49,189 --> 01:59:51,257 I really like the, uh... the art in the Deadpool comics. 2787 01:59:51,257 --> 01:59:53,626 You know, I just always felt a kind of a kinship to him. 2788 01:59:53,626 --> 01:59:56,329 And I just thought, I’d like to play that guy someday. 2789 01:59:56,329 --> 02:00:01,701 ♪ So take the photographs and still frames in your mind ♪ 2790 02:00:01,701 --> 02:00:06,706 ♪ Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time ♪ 2791 02:00:06,706 --> 02:00:11,845 ♪ Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial ♪ 2792 02:00:11,845 --> 02:00:14,814 ♪ For what it’s worth, it was worth ♪ 2793 02:00:14,814 --> 02:00:17,751 - ♪ All the while ♪ - [applause] 2794 02:00:17,751 --> 02:00:18,318 [cheering] 2795 02:00:18,318 --> 02:00:19,686 ♪ It’s something unpredictable ♪ 2796 02:00:19,686 --> 02:00:21,287 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2797 02:00:21,287 --> 02:00:25,250 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life... ♪ 2798 02:00:25,250 --> 02:00:28,928 I was there for three weeks before I shot a single thing. 2799 02:00:28,928 --> 02:00:31,331 At our first day of shooting, 2800 02:00:31,331 --> 02:00:32,665 I was so nervous, man. 2801 02:00:32,665 --> 02:00:34,868 Everyone was sort of going, "Who’s this guy?" 2802 02:00:34,868 --> 02:00:36,836 You know, there was a lot of that and, 2803 02:00:36,836 --> 02:00:38,605 you know, "Is he gonna deliver or not?" 2804 02:00:38,605 --> 02:00:41,708 You can feel all that kind of pressure. 2805 02:00:41,708 --> 02:00:46,279 It’s always the suit’s fault. Never the actor. 2806 02:00:53,386 --> 02:00:53,987 [screaming] 2807 02:00:53,987 --> 02:00:55,188 - This is... - The only way. 2808 02:00:55,188 --> 02:00:57,891 ♪ It’s something unpredictable ♪ 2809 02:00:57,891 --> 02:00:59,626 ♪ But in the end is right ♪ 2810 02:00:59,626 --> 02:01:04,664 ♪ I hope you had the time of your life ♪ 2811 02:01:04,664 --> 02:01:07,934 Ah, so this is what it feels like. 2812 02:01:09,703 --> 02:01:11,504 And there’s the lights. 2813 02:01:11,504 --> 02:01:12,772 For medical research. 2814 02:01:12,772 --> 02:01:15,342 - Bye-bye, video. [smooches] - [man] Bye. 2815 02:01:15,342 --> 02:01:17,430 [♪ song ends] 2816 02:01:20,547 --> 02:01:23,683 [♪ instrumental music playing] 2817 02:05:28,395 --> 02:05:31,698 [Deadpool] I’m tired of these absolutely vile rumors 2818 02:05:31,698 --> 02:05:33,767 that I got Johnny killed. 2819 02:05:33,967 --> 02:05:35,869 Let’s look at the tape. 2820 02:05:36,469 --> 02:05:37,437 In The Void, 2821 02:05:37,437 --> 02:05:39,639 you’re either food for Alioth 2822 02:05:39,639 --> 02:05:41,608 or you work for her. 2823 02:05:43,777 --> 02:05:44,911 [Deadpool] Go on, Johnny. 2824 02:05:44,911 --> 02:05:47,470 And I’ll tell you who "her" is. 2825 02:05:47,470 --> 02:05:47,647 Cassandra Nova. 2826 02:05:47,647 --> 02:05:49,849 A megalomaniacal, psychotic ***hole. 2827 02:05:49,849 --> 02:05:51,484 A finger licking dead-inside pixie slab 2828 02:05:51,484 --> 02:05:53,887 of third rate dime-store nut-milk. And I’ll tell you 2829 02:05:53,887 --> 02:05:55,422 - what she can do. - [Deadpool] I’m listening. 2830 02:05:55,422 --> 02:05:57,390 She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean 2831 02:05:57,390 --> 02:05:58,758 and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 2832 02:05:58,758 --> 02:06:01,361 In fact, I don’t give a shit if she removes all my skin 2833 02:06:01,361 --> 02:06:03,963 and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon. 2834 02:06:03,963 --> 02:06:04,731 If the last thing I do 2835 02:06:04,731 --> 02:06:06,866 in this godforsaken cum-gutter existence 2836 02:06:06,866 --> 02:06:08,802 is light that ****-box on fire, 2837 02:06:08,802 --> 02:06:09,536 I still won’t die happy. 2838 02:06:09,536 --> 02:06:10,837 [Deadpool laughs] Holy shit, girl. You crazy. 2839 02:06:10,837 --> 02:06:14,740 That’s right, Wade. I won’t be happy until I’ve urinated 2840 02:06:14,740 --> 02:06:15,575 on her freshly barbecued corpse 2841 02:06:15,575 --> 02:06:17,377 and husk-****ed the charred remains 2842 02:06:17,377 --> 02:06:19,312 while gargling Juggernaut’s juggernuts. 2843 02:06:19,312 --> 02:06:21,448 - [Deadpool] Wow! - And you can quote me. 2844 02:06:21,448 --> 02:06:22,816 [Deadpool] ’Kay. 2845 02:06:22,816 --> 02:06:24,851 Got you, ****face.