1 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,262 Seventh-grader. 2 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,515 Sounds a lot better than sixth-grader. 3 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,187 This is a Greg thing. I don't see why I had to come. 4 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,066 Because, Rodrick, this is a family event, 5 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,527 and like it or not, you're part of the Heffley family. 6 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,989 Yeah. That and we already paid for your ticket. 7 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:27,587 I'd like to give a warm welcome to Westmore seventh-graders! 8 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,923 A new year of school starting. 9 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,593 Hi! 10 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,636 Rowley! Greg! 11 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:47,732 Alakazam! Alaka-zoo-wee Mama! 12 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,192 What are you doing? 13 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,401 It's a magic wand. 14 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,569 Do you want to see a trick? 15 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,529 Only if the trick is to make the thing disappear. 16 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,828 Just put it in your pocket! 17 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,997 You don't want to give away your best tricks in public. 18 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,249 So, how was your summer? 19 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,182 That sounds pretty rough. 20 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,226 The only good thing that happened 21 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,186 was I got rid of the Cheese Touch. 22 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,562 Who'd you give it to? 23 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,814 The new kid. Jeremy Pindle. 24 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,275 Cheese Touch! 25 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,280 Hey, guys! Anyone for pizza? 26 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,867 Hey! Thanks, Fregley. 27 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,411 You know, 28 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,415 I can't believe people leave perfectly good food just lying around. 29 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,648 I'll save that 30 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,359 for later. 31 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,864 Let's skate. 32 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,117 I'd like to give a shout out to Taylor Pringle! 33 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,368 Uh-oh, dork alert! 34 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,288 Happy birthday, Taylor! Five years young. 35 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,832 I hope your party's a blast. 36 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,376 Rowley, stop pulling me down! 37 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,838 Ho, ho, ho It's magic 38 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,424 You know 39 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,010 Who is that? 40 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,848 Her name is Holly Hills. She just moved here. 41 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,725 What grade is she in? Seventh. 42 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,268 She's an all-star soccer player, 43 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,811 has done professional modeling, 44 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,938 and was her sixth grade class president. 45 00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:54,233 She moved here from Oregon because her father got a big promotion. 46 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:56,485 They drive a hybrid SUV, 47 00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:00,114 live on the north side of town in a cul-de-sac near the park. 48 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,867 What? I googled her! 49 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,119 She's a picture of loveliness, is she not? 50 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,496 She's almost as pretty as my mom. 51 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,124 She's going to be very popular. 52 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,006 Sit here! Sit here! 53 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,676 Please, everyone, sit down. We have our seats. 54 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:30,019 It's magic, you know 55 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:36,609 Never believe it's not so 56 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,693 Excuse me. 57 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,738 What? 58 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,449 I said, excuse me. You're blocking the exit. 59 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,951 Oh, sorry. 60 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,243 That's okay. 61 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,288 I'm Chirag Gupta. And I'm single. 62 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,667 Wow. My name is... 63 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,001 We know exactly who you are. 64 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,128 Holly Hills of Four Three Two Embury Lane. 65 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,172 No, we don't know who you are. 66 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,548 We have no idea who you are. 67 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:07,515 Okay! Well, I think I'm going to go skating now. 68 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,019 Please congratulate your father on his promotion from me! 69 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:15,982 "We know exactly who you are"? You trying to scare her? 70 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,233 Does it really matter? 71 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,986 A girl like that is out of your league anyway, Gregory. 72 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,072 She's new. She isn't out of anyone's league yet. 73 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,741 She doesn't know the social pecking order. 74 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,452 If there was ever a time for me to make a move, 75 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,912 it's now. 76 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,791 Hey, Greg! 77 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,377 Can you break a leg or something so we can leave? 78 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,008 Oh! 79 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,802 That'll never happen. Not a chance. 80 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,887 There's no way that girl will ever talk to you. 81 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,057 Yeah, well, I just talked to her 82 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,892 and we'll probably skate later. 83 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,311 Really? Okay. 84 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,731 Well, you see that clock? 85 00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,443 They play a slow song at the top of every hour for couples skate. 86 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,447 If you're so confident, ask her to skate. 87 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,450 Maybe I will. 88 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,118 What you waiting for, wimp? 89 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,703 You the man! 90 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,376 Look, if we can get out to Holly 91 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,379 and be standing right next to her when the clock changes, 92 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,632 then I can ask her to skate and she'll have to say yes. 93 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,677 I don't know about that. 94 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,231 Oh, honey, hi! 95 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,567 Remember when we were young like this, 96 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,570 and we used to dance and go to parties, and things like that? 97 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,654 Whoo! 98 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,625 I'm going in. Cover me! 99 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:12,791 Girl you are to me all that a woman should be 100 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,102 And I dedicate my life... 101 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,814 All rockers and hardcore skaters off the rink, 102 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,274 unless you're looking for love. 103 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,401 It's time for couples skate. 104 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,195 I'm making my move. 105 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:36,731 Stop! Enough of that total lameness! Who's ready to rock? Yeah! 106 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,712 Come on, let's get out of here. Come on. 107 00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,393 What are we gonna do? Stay calm. 108 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,895 All we have to do is just stay here. 109 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,731 Whoa! Whoa! 110 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,317 GREG: Rowley! Hang on! 111 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,783 Greg Heffley! 112 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,786 This is your mother. 113 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,081 Everything is going to be okay. 114 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,835 Stay where you are, and your father is going to come rescue you. 115 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,755 I repeat, everything is going to be okay. 116 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,010 Okay, here he comes. Here comes Frank. I see him. He's on his way. 117 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,430 Dad! I know, I know. 118 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,225 Okay. All right, everyone, go back to skating! 119 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,310 You all right? 120 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,149 Hey, Romeo, how'd it go with the new girl? 121 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,320 Whoa! 122 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,077 You ruined my birthday! 123 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,205 You jerk! 124 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,920 Ow! Ow! That hurt! 125 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,020 Rodrick! 126 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,190 Here, catch! 127 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,116 Let me start by saying that having a brother is really overrated. 128 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,494 Rowley always says he wishes he had a brother, 129 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,913 and, boy, do I wish I could give him one of mine. 130 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,041 I've looked into it and, unfortunately, it's not legal, 131 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,252 I mean, Manny has been telling on me 132 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,170 ever since he was able to speak. 133 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,797 Bubby did it. 134 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:55,261 Bubby did it. 135 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,345 Greg! 136 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,889 And Rodrick is the king of laziness. 137 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,475 Except when it comes to torturing me. 138 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,522 My mom has started writing... 139 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,482 an advice column for the local paper. 140 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,276 She wrote an article last week... 141 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,028 about how your brothers will always be there for you. 142 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,240 Well, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. 143 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,537 Hey, Bubby. 144 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,624 Got to go, Mom. Later, Mom. 145 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,084 Yeah, see you, hon. Okay, okay, wait. 146 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,669 Hold on. Wait a second. 147 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,130 I need a moment for a family meeting. 148 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,800 Now, your father and I have been talking. 149 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,887 Things between you two have really gotten out of hand. 150 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,639 Can I just say... 151 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:41,724 You may not realize it now, 152 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:46,228 but having a brother is one of the most important relationships of your life. 153 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,731 I mean, one day you're gonna be Uncle Greg 154 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,691 and Uncle Rodrick to each other's kids. 155 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:54,403 That's important. So you need to get to know each other. 156 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,487 What? What? 157 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,990 You need to spend more time together. What? 158 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,367 So that's why I've come up with a new program 159 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:04,371 that's going to reward you for spending time together. 160 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,459 I'm calling it 161 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,210 "Mom Bucks. " 162 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,213 You're paying us with fake money? Yeah. 163 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,342 Okay, now, for every hour that you spend together without fighting, 164 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,803 for example, let's say you give Greg a drum lesson, 165 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,765 you each earn a Mom Buck, 166 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:26,185 which you can then trade in for one real dollar. 167 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,436 Oh. 168 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,106 So, to start you off, I'm giving you each five Mom Bucks. 169 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,235 Now, if you're smart, you'll save up your Mom Bucks... 170 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,112 Can I cash out now? 171 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,366 Well, Rodrick, if you save... 172 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,950 But can I cash out? 173 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,703 Yes, but... 174 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,913 I want to cash out. 175 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,456 Frank? I know. 176 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,920 Uh... Okay. Yes, you can. All right. 177 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,216 Okay. All right, great. We should get going, 178 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,301 because you don't want to be late for school. All right? 179 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,136 Yeah, gotta go. Let's go. Okay, all right. 180 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,265 This Mom Bucks thing is a gold mine, muchacho. 181 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,267 You better not ruin it for me. 182 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,603 Most kids hate it when summer ends, 183 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:14,191 but I have to say, right now, school is starting to look pretty good. 184 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:31,291 Welcome back. 185 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,210 It's nice not to be the new kids this year. 186 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,378 I agree. 187 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,797 I know. Look at all the tiny sixth-graders. 188 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,174 I'm so glad that's not me this year. 189 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,843 Just a little higher. Just a little higher. 190 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,890 Whoa! Greg! Look who's in our class. 191 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,146 This was my chance. If I could sit next to Holly, 192 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,064 I'd have the whole year to show her how great I am. 193 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,692 No way, Greg Heffley. 194 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,403 This is my seat. 195 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,029 No, it's not. I was here first. 196 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,783 It's mine! 197 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,951 Let go! 198 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,162 You know I'm stronger than you, Greg Heffley. 199 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,956 Don't make me beat you up again! 200 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,207 Let's get something straight. 201 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,710 I was sick that day and I had something in my eye. 202 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,545 Well! 203 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,757 I've never had students so eager to start the school year. 204 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:21,967 What's going on? 205 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,427 This is my seat! This is my seat! 206 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,514 Okay, let's start again. What are your names? 207 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,227 Patty Farrell, two R's, two L's. 208 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,568 Greg Heffley. 209 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:44,072 Would you be related to Rodrick Heffley? 210 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,554 I've got my eye on you, Heffley. 211 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,019 There's no way to escape. 212 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:21,777 It's unbelievable! Even at school, Rodrick is ruining my life. 213 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,070 Shh! 214 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:24,780 He might hear you. 215 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,824 Nah. Watch. 216 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,662 Holy cow! 217 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,956 He once slept through an entire day. 218 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,500 Do you have an amazing talent that you'd like to share? 219 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,380 Today, Plainview City Council announced a brand-new local contest: 220 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,048 Plainview's Most Talented. 221 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,133 Hey! Greg! Maybe we should... 222 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,593 Can it, Chunky Cheese! 223 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:50,097 Westmore is absolutely packed to the roof with talent. 224 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,683 The top prize is 1,000 dollars and of course, 225 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,726 the admiration of your friends and neighbors. 226 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:58,230 This is huge. I gotta call the band. We gotta practice. 227 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,565 This is gonna be our big break! 228 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,816 Uh-uh-uh. Wait a second. 229 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,235 Aren't you forgetting something? What? 230 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,070 I showered yesterday. Smell. 231 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,822 Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. 232 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,825 We agreed that you'd give a drum lesson to Greg. 233 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,618 You were serious? 234 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,744 Who knows? 235 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,663 Maybe you guys will really like it 236 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,248 and we can form a family band. 237 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,378 Hello, world, here's a song that we're singing 238 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,797 Come on get happy 239 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:29,636 A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringing 240 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,555 We'll make you happy 241 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,022 Rodrick says he's a professional musician, 242 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,733 but as far as I know the only money he's made, 243 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,736 is when Dad gave him five bucks once to stop playing. 244 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,988 When do we get to play the real drums? 245 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,032 Like I'd ever let you touch them! 246 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,076 Watch and learn, earthworm! 247 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,539 Hey, I was thinking we should enter the talent show. 248 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,292 I could do my magic act and you could be my assistant. 249 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,793 Assistant? No way. 250 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,296 Doing magic tricks is bad enough. 251 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,590 Assisting the guy doing the tricks? 252 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,176 I'd never make it to eighth grade. 253 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,939 What? 254 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,399 Hey, a cookie. 255 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,109 Manny, what have you done? 256 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,819 I'm only three. 257 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,072 What's going on? What did you do to him? 258 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,074 Nothing! He ruined my video game. 259 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,494 Oh! He didn't do anything on purpose. Did you, honey? 260 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:38,705 No, I didn't. No, he didn't. He's only three. 261 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,749 I'm only three! 262 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,710 Okay, let's go, sweetie. You want another cookie? 263 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,128 It's so unfair. 264 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,381 I have Rodrick making my life a misery on one side, 265 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,007 and Manny attacking me from the other. 266 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:52,803 And I'm the only one who seems to get blamed for anything. 267 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,264 I wonder what it'd be like to have a family that actually loves me. 268 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,599 Little boy! 269 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,561 We're a very rich couple with no children and so much love to share. 270 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,272 Won't you come be part of our family? 271 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,276 Finally! Someone I can leave my billions to. 272 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,240 India? Why would you go there? 273 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:17,494 India is fascinating. It's the jewel of Southeast Asia. 274 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,538 My father has business to take care of, 275 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:21,498 so he's taking the whole family. 276 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,166 Can you bring me back a cobra? 277 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,669 I want to teach it to dance! 278 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,719 Wake up! What are you guys doing over there? 279 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,513 Get the ball! Get the ball, kick it! 280 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,558 Kick it! 281 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:40,642 Kick it! 282 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,313 Patty Farrell, you are the man! 283 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,778 Nice running, Heffley. Just have to work on the direction. 284 00:17:55,658 --> 00:18:00,203 Wow. Holly Hills is better than Bryce. And he's an all-star! 285 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,080 Well, I'm sure your soccer skills 286 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,999 made a great impression on her. 287 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,917 Go strike while the iron is hot. 288 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,043 You'll see. 289 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,962 When you come back from India, 290 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,881 she'll be hanging out with me. 291 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,801 I would love for that to be true, Gregory. 292 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,721 It would provide hope for smaller boys everywhere, 293 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,933 but girls like that just don't hang out with guys like us. 294 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:30,525 So, listen, you don't have to worry about being in my magic show anymore, 295 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,737 'cause I got Scotty from my karate class to be my assistant. 296 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,114 Scotty? Isn't he like eight? 297 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,533 He'll be eight. 298 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,039 Get in. Why? 299 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,373 What are you doing here? 300 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,625 Mom said she'll pay Mom Bucks 301 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,251 if I drive you home from school. 302 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:50,712 We'd rather walk. 303 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,381 Get in! Now! 304 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,302 What happened to the seats? 305 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,888 I needed the room for my new equipment. 306 00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:03,308 How'd you have the money for that? 307 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,560 You know, Mom Bucks. 308 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,731 There's no way. He only earned like five. 309 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,114 We gottao figure out what song we're playing at the talent contest. 310 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,491 Easy. Devil's Diper. 311 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:23,203 A ballad? Really, dude? We got to lift them out of their seats! 312 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,496 I got it. 313 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,582 Löded Diper! Löded Diper! 314 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,044 Slow down, guys! Slow down! 315 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,380 GREG: Whoa! 316 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,523 This Mom Bucks thing isn't working out. 317 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,860 Now Rodrick can get paid for beating me up. 318 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,237 Oh... 319 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,825 Mom, why are you writing about me again? 320 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:02,909 It's embarrassing. 321 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:07,080 What? You know how important honesty is to me. 322 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,790 And, Rowley, good news. 323 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,750 I called your mom and she gave her permission 324 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,295 for you to come with us to Rockin' Rapids next weekend. 325 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,881 Two days on the biggest water slides in the world! 326 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:16,923 It's gonna be great! 327 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,469 Thank you, Mrs. Heffley, 328 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,056 but I think I'd like to stay home and practice my magic act. 329 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,314 I just want to perfect my art. 330 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,693 Come on, let's go upstairs. 331 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,695 Mom, can I use your computer for homework? 332 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,448 For homework, right? 333 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,867 Yeah. Definitely. Homework only. 334 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,036 I'm sorry, Bubby. 335 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,039 What's this? 336 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,207 It's a gift from Manny. 337 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,752 He made it for you because he wanted to say he was sorry 338 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:57,130 for breaking your video game. Isn't that cute? 339 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,883 It looks dangerous. What if I sat on that thing? 340 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,719 Greg! What are you doing? 341 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,473 Tell Manny you love his gift. 342 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,522 You're so lucky you don't have any brothers. 343 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,775 You're kind of like my brother. 344 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,526 And shouldn't we be looking up things 345 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,362 for your "hundred years ago" assignment? 346 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,200 She looks like she was born 100 years ago. 347 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,410 Ahhh! 348 00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:34,793 Oh, I hope she's okay. She sounded pretty hurt. 349 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,503 Are you kidding me? She's famous, 350 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,129 and I heard she's a millionaire. 351 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,883 I would love to be her! 352 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,301 You do know she was faking it? 353 00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,469 Really? 354 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:45,720 Of course. 355 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,722 Anyone can be an Internet sensation. 356 00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,808 We could. I'm listening. 357 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726 You just have to work with what you got. 358 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,312 Wake up in the morning... 359 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,647 feeling like P. Diddy... 360 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:59,651 Grab my glasses on, I'm out the door I'm gonna hit this city... 361 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,738 Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack... 362 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:07,659 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back... 363 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,495 I'm talking, playing our favorite CD's... 364 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,497 Pulling up to the parties... 365 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,917 Trying to get a little bit tipsy... 366 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,670 Okay, three, two, one, fall. 367 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:23,133 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 368 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,429 It looks fake. It has to look real. 369 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,515 But how do I fake it if I'm actually falling backwards? 370 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,892 Maybe you need a gimmick, so people notice you. 371 00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,103 Oh. 372 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,647 Wear this on your head. 373 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:41,860 Now, do it again. 374 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,529 Why can't you be the one that falls backwards in the chair? 375 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,949 Because I'm not the one wearing the underwear on my head. 376 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,703 Tick tock, on the clock But the party don't stop, no 377 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,538 Remember when I broke my arm? 378 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,081 That didn't feel good at... 379 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,089 I can't believe you sat on the tinfoil ball! We're going to be rich! 380 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,382 Okay, Rowley. 381 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,052 Hold still. Oy! 382 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,238 My computer was supposed to be for homework only. 383 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,991 You lied to me. You know how I feel about that. 384 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:33,495 Mom, from now on, I'll be 100% honest. 385 00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:35,413 Well, that lasted about a week. 386 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,750 Mom somehow didn't appreciate the completely honest version of me. 387 00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,545 Happy birthday, Grandpa! 388 00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:45,423 Next year, I want a chocolate cake. 389 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,884 That is, if you're alive next year. 390 00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:49,803 Greg! 391 00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:51,012 Honesty, Mom! 392 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,100 Mom, it's Mrs. Gillman from the PTA. 393 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,644 Tell her I'm not here! 394 00:23:57,728 --> 00:23:59,521 But that would be lying... 395 00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:02,023 and I don't do that anymore. 396 00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:08,029 I'm sorry, Mrs. Gillman, but my mom isn't in the house right now. 397 00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:16,871 On weekends, I try to stay as far away from my brothers as possible. 398 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,708 But on Sunday morning, I have no choice. 399 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,212 Poopy! 400 00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:26,840 Huh? 401 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,717 Greg! It looks like he has a candy bar on there. 402 00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,344 Manny! 403 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,472 Frank, you're gonna have to do something. 404 00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:35,890 Yeah, I'll get a rag. 405 00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:40,937 Dad, stop it! 406 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,063 Hold still! 407 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,399 All right, let me see. 408 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,651 You're fine. Can't even tell. 409 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,494 I'm not going in with a poop stain on my pants. 410 00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,872 Okay, well, you can't skip church. 411 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,207 No, I'm not going in like this. 412 00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,960 Fine. 413 00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,882 He made them every one 414 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:09,966 Go. 415 00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:16,181 All things bright and beautiful 416 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:21,352 All creatures great and small 417 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:23,938 All things wise and wonderful 418 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,982 What are you doing? Go! 419 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:30,570 The Lord God made them all 420 00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:32,780 Please be seated. 421 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:38,161 Let me just say how gratifying it is 422 00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:41,039 to see so many smiling faces here today. 423 00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:44,125 Mothers and fathers... 424 00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,633 Okay, we're up. 425 00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,801 Come on! We're up! 426 00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:56,596 But everyone will see the sweater. 427 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,723 People are looking, okay? 428 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,350 So come on. Let's go. 429 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:01,809 Come on. 430 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,580 Poop! 431 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,041 He's pooped his pants! 432 00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:28,378 No, it isn't what it looks like! 433 00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,463 It isn't. It's chocolate! 434 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,132 Chocolate. See? 435 00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:56,447 What did I say about being civil to one another? 436 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,449 That's all I asked of you! 437 00:26:58,534 --> 00:27:00,243 Well, you have blown it big time! 438 00:27:00,411 --> 00:27:02,120 Never been more embarrassed! 439 00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:03,913 Everyone we know was there! 440 00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:07,041 I have no idea how I'm gonna write my column this week. 441 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,085 I feel like a complete fraud! 442 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,170 Well, you brought this on yourselves. 443 00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,214 You can kiss Rockin' Rapids good-bye! 444 00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:16,884 You two will stay here all weekend and work out your differences. 445 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,470 And if you don't, I will. 446 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,473 And trust me, you don't want any part of that. 447 00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,059 Do you understand? 448 00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:27,478 Yes. Yes. Yes. 449 00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:30,606 All right, let's go. 450 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,242 And don't have anybody over this weekend. 451 00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:43,077 Got it? 452 00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:14,776 Snacks in the bowls, ice in the freezer, cups on the table. 453 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,361 Your party better be good. 454 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:17,904 Our party, little bro. 455 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:22,950 Wait! Whoa, whoa! We need chairs from the basement. 456 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:24,702 For what? 457 00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:27,372 In case we wanna play musical chairs. 458 00:28:27,498 --> 00:28:30,166 I haven't played musical chairs since the second grade. 459 00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:33,628 Well, it comes back when you hit high school. 460 00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,505 Wait! You get the chairs. 461 00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:37,590 I don't want anyone to be disappointed. All right? 462 00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:39,092 Okay. All right. 463 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,621 Rodrick, help! The door's closed! 464 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,123 Yeah, and it's staying closed. 465 00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:12,083 I don't need a middle-schooler ruining my party. 466 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,918 What? I thought it was our party! 467 00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:17,088 It's my party. Now keep quiet or I'll lock you in the dryer! 468 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:18,589 Rodrick! 469 00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:20,758 Greg! 470 00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,354 And that's magic! 471 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,444 Jefferson residence. Rowley speaking. 472 00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,613 Rowley, I need your help! Now! 473 00:30:28,911 --> 00:30:30,578 Holy pepperoni! 474 00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,084 Get inside. Open the door and let me out! 475 00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:47,178 Yes! You did it! 476 00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:50,932 It's a really nice try, Greggy. 477 00:30:51,225 --> 00:30:55,436 But whatever you thought, I already thinked it. 478 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:05,905 When our band is huge, we'll have parties every night! 479 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,242 But they'll be backstage parties! 480 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,702 Sweet! We'll get to go backstage. 481 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,875 You, don't touch that phone! 482 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,253 Music off! Everybody freeze! 483 00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:21,963 Freeze. 484 00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:26,884 If anyone makes a sound, the party is over 485 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:30,137 and I am a dead man. So... Shh! 486 00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:34,308 Quiet, man! 487 00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,354 Get back! 488 00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:41,732 Shh! 489 00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:43,693 Hello? Rodrick, it's Mom. 490 00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:46,612 Is everything okay? It took a long time for you to answer. 491 00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:49,615 Yeah, everything's fine. I was just washing dishes. 492 00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:52,743 Okay, honey. Well, I just wanted to check in and say I love you, 493 00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:54,412 and I'm sorry I was so harsh earlier. 494 00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:55,621 No problem. Bye. 495 00:31:55,706 --> 00:31:57,373 Now let me say good night to Greg. 496 00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,416 Greg? 497 00:31:58,500 --> 00:31:59,834 Oh, uh... 498 00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:02,545 He can't. He's asleep. I don't want to wake him. 499 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,673 No, I'm not. I'm right here. Hi, Mom. 500 00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:07,842 Hey, Rodrick. 501 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,844 Hi, sweetie, is everything okay? 502 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,637 Why were you sleeping so early? 503 00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:15,975 Well, actually, I wasn't sleeping. I'm down in the basement. 504 00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,270 The basement? What the heck are you doing down there? 505 00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:21,314 Wouldn't you rather be up here hanging with me? 506 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,401 Yeah, I would, Rodrick. Why don't you come down and get me? 507 00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:26,611 Now. 508 00:32:26,737 --> 00:32:28,446 I think they're trying to get along. 509 00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,781 Huh? That's good. Good, honey. 510 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:34,452 Okay. Everything is cool here, right, Greg? 511 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:38,331 Yeah, Mom. And I have your number if I need you. 512 00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:42,293 Okay, sweeties. Well, we'll see you tomorrow. Good night. 513 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:47,882 Listen up. 514 00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:52,928 If you do anything that embarrasses me, anything at all, 515 00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,805 I will... 516 00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:56,182 You'll what? 517 00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:01,437 Just stay out of my way, 518 00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:04,065 nerds. 519 00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,447 I think we should go upstairs. 520 00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:13,115 Are you kidding me? 521 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,827 We might not get to go to another high school party for five more years. 522 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,329 We have an opportunity here, 523 00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:22,083 to see things no other kid in our grade has ever seen before. 524 00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:23,584 Like what? 525 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,002 Teenage things. 526 00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:28,339 Just follow my lead, and we'll be fine. 527 00:33:39,101 --> 00:33:42,019 Hey, watch the elbows, popcorn dude. Not cool. 528 00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,317 That was a close one. 529 00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:57,660 I didn't know you could get up there. 530 00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:00,204 You should hear my band. 531 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,873 We play so loud, we actually make people's eardrums bleed. 532 00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,542 Ew. I mean, not really. 533 00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:07,795 I think your brother likes her! 534 00:34:14,136 --> 00:34:15,678 I have to go find my friend. 535 00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:17,930 Yeah, yeah, I know. 536 00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:23,769 Reminder! You can't call if you're dead. 537 00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:36,031 Dude, this party is dying. Look, the girls aren't into it. 538 00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:37,825 Look, they want to dance. 539 00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,744 You don't ask them to dance, they're gonna leave, 540 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:41,078 then you're just gonna be that guy 541 00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:42,830 who threw the lame party with no girls. 542 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,498 Go ask the girls to dance! 543 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,584 You ask them. 544 00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:49,962 No, man. You go ask the girls to dance. 545 00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:51,172 You almost did it. 546 00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:53,132 I'm not going to do it! I've seen you dance! 547 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,216 I'm not doing it... 548 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,344 Did somebody say "dance"? Break it down! 549 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,180 Rowley, no! Don't! 550 00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:02,266 That kid's dead. No, wait, man. What are you, new? 551 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,686 You can't mess with a chubby kid, the girls'll freak out! 552 00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:12,151 I won't call Mom. You can kill me. 553 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,653 Conga! 554 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:19,074 What is he doing? 555 00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,994 Who cares? I'm going to go squeeze in 556 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,288 next to Rachel Lewis and Amy Ramirez! 557 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:27,291 Shake, shake, shake, Senora, Shake your body line 558 00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:31,629 Shake, shake, shake, Senora, Shake it all the time 559 00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:33,672 My girl's name is Senora 560 00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:35,800 I tell you, friends, I adore her 561 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:37,802 And when she dances, oh, brother! 562 00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:40,262 She's a hurricane in all kinds of weather 563 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:42,389 Jump in the line, Rock your body 564 00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:43,974 This is great! 565 00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,477 I know! I wish my mom was here. 566 00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:49,313 Your parents are so cool to let you have this party. 567 00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:53,442 Yeah, really cool. And they can never know. 568 00:35:53,527 --> 00:35:55,402 You can talk about Cha Cha 569 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,321 Tango, Waltz, or the Rumba 570 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,448 Senora's dance has no title 571 00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:02,076 You jump in the saddle Hold on to the bridle! 572 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,703 Jump in the line, Rock your body in time 573 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:06,288 Whoa! 574 00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:11,585 Shake, shake, shake, Senora, Shake it all the time 575 00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:37,194 Hi. You've reached the Heffley residence. Please leave a message. 576 00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:40,865 Hey, guys. Manny's sick. We're on our way home. 577 00:36:40,991 --> 00:36:42,408 See you in an hour. 578 00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:44,577 Holy... Moly! 579 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,624 You are in so much trouble. 580 00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:55,337 Me? You lied to Mom, just as much as I did. 581 00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:58,424 You know how she feels about lying! She's gonna kill both of us! 582 00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:06,640 You do the living room, I'll start the kitchen. Go! 583 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:11,812 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 584 00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:14,815 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 585 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:20,446 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 586 00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:23,407 I'd rather you didn't than did 587 00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,285 I'd rather you didn't get rid 588 00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,996 Of me at that age Such a young awkward stage 589 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,124 That is not what you do to a kid 590 00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:34,960 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 591 00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,088 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 592 00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:40,591 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 593 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:43,594 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 594 00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,430 If this is the case Let us cut to the chase 595 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:49,475 I'm so sorry I never let go 596 00:37:49,559 --> 00:37:52,436 I went to the doctor the kind that you talk to 597 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,522 And he said the process is slow 598 00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:00,986 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 599 00:38:01,071 --> 00:38:03,280 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 600 00:38:03,365 --> 00:38:06,408 Down, down, down! All right, let's go. 601 00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:09,787 I'd rather you hadn't than had 602 00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,581 If you hadn't I wouldn't be mad 603 00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:15,459 At what I'd been handed Despite it I've landed 604 00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,920 On both feet so don't worry, Dad 605 00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,296 It looks good. 606 00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,090 Too good. 607 00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:24,259 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 608 00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,386 Let's get the kitchen. 609 00:38:27,097 --> 00:38:29,390 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 610 00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:35,896 Maybe we can paint over it. 611 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,731 I don't know how to make paint! 612 00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:39,316 I got it! 613 00:38:39,401 --> 00:38:41,235 See? It's a good thing I locked you down here. 614 00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:42,319 Now let's go! 615 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:46,281 We're not gonna make it! 616 00:38:46,366 --> 00:38:47,408 We're gonna make it. 617 00:38:49,911 --> 00:38:51,578 Trash mine if you'd like to 618 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:53,038 I'm sure you'd be psyched to 619 00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:55,290 Remember our name is the same 620 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,334 See? Told you it would work. 621 00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:01,839 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 622 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:07,011 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah 623 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,097 Rodrick! 624 00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:12,850 The bathroom door! The door doesn't have a lock on it. 625 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,310 The other door had a lock on it and this doesn't. We're dead. 626 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,353 And if they find out... 627 00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,693 - Greg? - Hey, guys! 628 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:25,821 Hi. Hey, Mom, Dad. 629 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,490 Hey, how's Manny? Is he feeling better? Poor little guy. 630 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,368 Yeah. He's doing okay. 631 00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:33,829 Wow. The house looks pretty good. 632 00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:35,914 I was expecting a real mess. 633 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,499 Oh... 634 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,084 Who ate pretzels on the rug? 635 00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:42,379 So... 636 00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:45,716 Who came over this weekend? 637 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,385 What? Nobody. 638 00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,597 You said nobody, Dad. No means no, right? 639 00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,141 Yeah, yeah. Good boy. 640 00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:01,857 So, 641 00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:06,153 you guys just hung out? 642 00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:07,905 Had a good time together, huh? 643 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,740 Yeah, actually. 644 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,950 You know, I never thought I'd admit this, 645 00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:13,994 but we had a pretty good time together. 646 00:40:15,205 --> 00:40:16,371 Really? 647 00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:18,665 Yeah. Surprised me, too. 648 00:40:18,792 --> 00:40:22,795 So you just worked it all out by yourselves? 649 00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:26,256 Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Mom, don't make a big deal about it. 650 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:27,633 Please, just... Okay. Okay. 651 00:40:27,717 --> 00:40:30,177 But nothing... Nothing makes me happier 652 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:31,762 than to see you two being friends. 653 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:32,971 Right, Frank? 654 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,181 Hmm? Yeah. 655 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,059 Yeah. 656 00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:40,854 Okay, let's go upstairs. 657 00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:44,274 Time for a nappy. 658 00:40:47,195 --> 00:40:49,196 Hey! What the... 659 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:54,451 You guys got something you want to tell me? 660 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:56,703 No. 661 00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:02,501 What was General Grant doing on the thermostat? 662 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:04,962 I have no idea. 663 00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:06,380 No idea. 664 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,382 No idea, huh? 665 00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:15,389 Don't... These... These are off limits! No touch! 666 00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:19,476 They are not toys. They're figurines! 667 00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:21,812 I can't... 668 00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,024 We have to keep them away from the bathroom. 669 00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:27,568 For the next 10 years? 670 00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,153 Listen to me. 671 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:33,157 No matter what they ask you, no matter how hard they push, 672 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,200 deny, deny, deny. 673 00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:40,080 Even if they figure it out, never ever admit to anything. 674 00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:43,542 Deny, deny, deny. Got it? 675 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:47,504 Got it. Deny, deny, deny. 676 00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:51,425 It sounds to me like, "Lie, lie, lie. " 677 00:41:51,718 --> 00:41:54,136 I kind of wish you hadn't told me. 678 00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:58,974 Don't you understand? Rodrick isn't beating me up anymore. 679 00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:02,227 But how are they not going to notice that the lock's gone? 680 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,271 Please. They're like 40. 681 00:42:04,814 --> 00:42:06,982 They can barely remember our names. 682 00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:14,781 Hi, Greg! I've returned from halfway around the world. 683 00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:19,620 And I see that you're even further than that from Holly Hills. 684 00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:22,915 I guess your unappealing older brother was right about you. 685 00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:24,541 You have no game. 686 00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:26,460 You know what? 687 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:30,088 I liked Chirag a whole lot better when he was in India. 688 00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:32,382 Man, I sure do miss Chirag. 689 00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:33,759 I wonder when he's coming back. 690 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,638 It's almost like I can feel his presence. 691 00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:40,641 What are you talking about? Here I am! 692 00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:43,644 Did you just hear something? 693 00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:46,021 No. Nothing. 694 00:42:46,356 --> 00:42:49,983 Well, better get to class. Chirag would've wanted it that way. 695 00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:51,318 Good one, Greg. 696 00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:54,529 You may be able to dominate me physically, Greg Heffley, 697 00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:57,324 but mentally, I am the more muscular! 698 00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,910 It is officially on. 699 00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:09,795 Hey, Rowley. 700 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,088 Hey. 701 00:43:14,968 --> 00:43:16,426 Does he know about the D-O-R-E? 702 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,512 Huh? 703 00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:19,846 The door! 704 00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:24,476 Yeah. Don't worry. I already told him, deny, deny, deny. 705 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,520 Hi, Rowley! What's new, huh? 706 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:35,779 Okay. 707 00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:43,745 Hey, wasn't there a lock on this door? 708 00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:48,333 I must be losing my marbles. 709 00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:53,380 Oh. I can't take this pressure. I'm leaving. 710 00:43:53,798 --> 00:43:55,549 Okay, everybody, dinnertime! 711 00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:58,302 Actually, Mom, I have to skip dinner. 712 00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:00,137 Why? 713 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,472 I've got the most important meeting of my life tonight. 714 00:44:02,598 --> 00:44:04,308 Did you say you have a meeting? Yeah. 715 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:07,519 Like, for like a job? Yeah. Kind of. 716 00:44:07,729 --> 00:44:10,230 I'm meeting with the best guitarist in Plainview. 717 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,150 Now he's in between bands, and if I can get him into Löded Diper, 718 00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:15,360 then winning the talent show is a lock. 719 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,613 I mean, you'd like him, Dad. He's a real professional, like you. 720 00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:20,115 Mmm-hmm. Be supportive. 721 00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:23,327 That's him. I'll get that! 722 00:44:23,745 --> 00:44:27,289 Oh, man, I barely made it here. 723 00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:29,458 Your address has so many numbers! 724 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,002 All right, Bill, we should... Whoa! 725 00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:36,048 Do I smell pot roast? 726 00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:45,932 Oh! Mmm. 727 00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,354 Bill got voted "Most Likely to Be a Rock Star"... 728 00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:51,563 when he was in high school. 729 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:54,024 You suck! 730 00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:57,277 That hasn't really worked out. 731 00:44:57,487 --> 00:44:58,612 We should be going... 732 00:44:58,696 --> 00:44:59,780 Sit. 733 00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,117 So, Bill, 734 00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,038 Rodrick tells me that you're a professional musician. 735 00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:11,625 So that means that you earn enough to make a living? 736 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,960 Oh, yeah! Yeah. 737 00:45:14,629 --> 00:45:18,090 Well, enough if you live in your parents' basement. 738 00:45:18,633 --> 00:45:20,717 My parents are really supportive. 739 00:45:20,802 --> 00:45:23,762 Respect your parents, boys! 740 00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,555 Hey! That's what Joshie says! 741 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,765 Shh! 742 00:45:26,849 --> 00:45:27,849 So... 743 00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:31,061 It doesn't sound like a cakewalk, right? No. 744 00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:32,312 Why don't you tell Rodrick? 745 00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:35,399 Give him a picture of just how challenging it can really be. 746 00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:37,484 No, it's really hard. 747 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,862 First of all, there's no home-cooked meals like this. 748 00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:43,198 What? Really? 749 00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:47,536 Yeah, yeah! No, on the road, it's all 750 00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:51,456 burgers and fries and pizza. 751 00:45:51,541 --> 00:45:54,668 Then you got to deal with the fans, especially the girls. 752 00:45:55,795 --> 00:45:59,464 No, it's definitely not for everyone. 753 00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:01,466 But... 754 00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:08,348 If you like rocking deep into the night and partying hard all day 755 00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:11,935 then it might be the life for you. It's definitely for me. 756 00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:13,562 It does sound fun. 757 00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:16,523 But what if you don't play a musical instrument? 758 00:46:17,525 --> 00:46:19,734 Löded Diper always needs roadies. 759 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,362 So... you're joining the band? 760 00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:23,947 Yeah, brother! 761 00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:26,032 I'm in. Let's rock! Yeah! 762 00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:40,672 I think I might have brought too much stuff. 763 00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,341 Let's see how many views our video's got. 764 00:46:43,426 --> 00:46:45,218 It's got to be thousands. 765 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,845 Maybe millions! 766 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:51,641 Four? We only got four lousy hits? 767 00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:56,229 Greg, I can't lie to your parents about the party. I never lie. 768 00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:58,148 Joshie says a lie hurts everyone. 769 00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:02,903 Guess who wanted to join the big boy sleepover! 770 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,154 Bubby, Rowley! 771 00:47:04,238 --> 00:47:05,363 Mom, no, he'll ruin it! 772 00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:08,074 He just wanted to come in and say hi to Rowley. All right? 773 00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:11,328 And Rowley's mother brought over some healthy snacks 774 00:47:11,412 --> 00:47:14,289 and DVDs that she thought were appropriate. 775 00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:18,418 Enjoy your granola bars, boys. 776 00:47:23,466 --> 00:47:27,010 Andy's Magic Cushion. Let's start with that. 777 00:47:28,804 --> 00:47:32,057 Or should we watch The Foot? 778 00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:37,979 What if she comes back in and asks about the party? 779 00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:39,731 You need to relax. 780 00:47:41,275 --> 00:47:42,609 How about a healthy snack? 781 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,543 We shouldn't be here. 782 00:47:59,627 --> 00:48:02,087 We can't just let ourselves into a stranger's home. 783 00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:05,465 The place is empty. Nobody's going to mind. 784 00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:08,510 Oh. 785 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,845 Look at his face. 786 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,933 What happened to his foot? 787 00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,692 It sounded like someone was hopping. 788 00:48:23,776 --> 00:48:25,735 I'm telling you, it's nothing. 789 00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:27,737 It's just your imagination. 790 00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:32,075 Did you just kick me? 791 00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:51,595 You know, you really need to cut your toenails. 792 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,597 What was that? 793 00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,900 Turn it off! Turn it off! 794 00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:08,028 Okay. Only 'cause you're scared. 795 00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:12,699 Let's just go to sleep. 796 00:49:14,577 --> 00:49:17,537 I wish we had watched Andy's Magic Cushion. 797 00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:29,841 I love this movie, Frank. Don't you just love this movie? 798 00:49:32,053 --> 00:49:35,055 He picked the housekeeper over the supermodel? 799 00:49:36,515 --> 00:49:38,058 I know. 800 00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:43,313 It's got me! The foot has got me! 801 00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:04,959 Greg, is there something you want to say to Rowley and his father? 802 00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:09,839 I'm sorry for choosing an inappropriate movie for the sleepover. 803 00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:13,009 At least nobody got hurt this time. 804 00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:15,845 I'm a little birdy. I'm a little birdy! 805 00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:19,641 My knee bone. 806 00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:26,523 What? 807 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:36,616 Mommy, look. 808 00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:40,328 Mommy is looking. Mommy's looked a thousand times! 809 00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:44,290 Mommy just needs to go to the potty for one minute, okay? 810 00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:47,127 No! No! 811 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,466 What the heck? Where's the lock? 812 00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:55,468 Wait. 813 00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:11,317 Rodrick, could you come here, please? 814 00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:13,945 What happened to the lock? 815 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:15,905 I don't know what you're talking about. 816 00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,991 There was a lock on this door. 817 00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:19,951 Um... 818 00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:21,661 I don't think so. 819 00:51:21,746 --> 00:51:24,330 Rodrick, I've lived in this house for 10 years. 820 00:51:24,415 --> 00:51:26,249 I've locked that door 10,000 times 821 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:30,128 because sometimes it's my only moment of privacy of the day. 822 00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:31,254 I know there was a lock on that door. 823 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:32,422 There wasn't. Trust me. 824 00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,674 Greg has walked in on me a million times. 825 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:37,177 And if there was a lock, I would use it. 826 00:51:38,262 --> 00:51:40,847 In fact, maybe you should put one on. 827 00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:43,600 So that's your story. 828 00:51:43,684 --> 00:51:46,811 There was never a lock and you have no idea what I'm talking about. 829 00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:49,606 Yes. 830 00:51:50,858 --> 00:51:54,110 Fine. I'll just go ask your brother the same thing. 831 00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,498 Greg? Two words. 832 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:11,211 Bathroom door. 833 00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,552 It was Rodrick! He made me! It was his idea. 834 00:52:19,637 --> 00:52:22,055 He had the party! Someone wrote on the door, so we had to change it! 835 00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:23,932 I knew it. I knew it. 836 00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:26,100 No, Mom, wait! I was exaggerating a little bit. 837 00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,186 It wasn't a party. It was a band rehearsal 838 00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:29,646 for the talent show. That's all it was. 839 00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:32,649 We said nobody could come over. He knew the rules. 840 00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,651 Yeah, but, Mom, if you punish him, 841 00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,152 Rodrick's gonna know I told on him. 842 00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:39,823 We really had a good time this weekend. But if you do this, 843 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:42,492 Rodrick and I will never, ever be friends again. 844 00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:47,539 The idea that one day my kids won't get to know their Uncle Rodrick? 845 00:52:47,623 --> 00:52:49,666 Or have any family holidays? 846 00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:52,919 You two really have been getting along better this week, haven't you? 847 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:55,547 Yeah. We really have. 848 00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:03,096 Okay, if... 849 00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:07,100 If I let this slide, 850 00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:12,689 and be our little secret for the sake of the family, 851 00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:14,524 and for your relationship with your brother, 852 00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:18,611 do you swear to be on your best behavior and get along? 853 00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:21,364 I swear. I swear. 854 00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:31,165 Okay. 855 00:53:45,931 --> 00:53:48,474 You didn't buckle. 856 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:50,977 Deny, deny, deny, right? 857 00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,482 You know... 858 00:53:57,985 --> 00:54:02,655 You may not be half as lame as I thought you were. 859 00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:07,660 I couldn't believe it! 860 00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:10,288 Rodrick was actually trying to be nice to me. 861 00:54:15,544 --> 00:54:19,422 Wow! You're a Mom Bucks millionaire! 862 00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,424 - Where'd you get these? - Thrift shops. 863 00:54:21,508 --> 00:54:24,594 There's enough in here to last me until I'm 30. 864 00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:32,560 It's about time, little bro, that you learn the secrets to an easy life. 865 00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:35,146 Rule number one, 866 00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:37,231 don't be good at something you don't want to do. 867 00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:47,116 Guys! Use clean rags, not... 868 00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:51,496 Just give me that! I'll do it myself. 869 00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:57,377 Rule number two, always lower Mom and Dad's expectations. 870 00:55:02,132 --> 00:55:04,717 Hey, I took a math test today 871 00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:06,469 and I'm pretty sure I flunked it. 872 00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:07,720 Oh, Greg! 873 00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,974 But I got it back, and look! 874 00:55:11,058 --> 00:55:12,642 I got a C minus. 875 00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:16,187 Well, at least you didn't fail. 876 00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,067 Rule number three, never do something 877 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:23,444 when someone else can do it for you. 878 00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,199 "100 Years Ago. " I remember that assignment. 879 00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,660 Why write a new one 880 00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:32,620 when there's a perfectly good paper 881 00:55:32,705 --> 00:55:34,914 already written by your brother? 882 00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:38,835 Isn't that cheating? 883 00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,878 Isn't Mr. Draybick cheating 884 00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:44,674 by handing out the same assignment every year? 885 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:50,596 New binder. Teachers dig binders. 886 00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:53,641 The thing was, 887 00:55:53,726 --> 00:55:55,685 Rodrick had managed to get my dad to do... 888 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,979 all his homework for the past five years. 889 00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:00,690 Which one's the space bar again? 890 00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,651 - Just let me do it, okay? - Okay. 891 00:56:03,736 --> 00:56:07,071 I would never actually hand in a paper Rodrick wrote. 892 00:56:07,156 --> 00:56:09,866 But my dad? That's a different story. 893 00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:12,827 So that's just three of the things Rodrick has taught me. 894 00:56:12,911 --> 00:56:14,454 He has a lotta cool tips. 895 00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:17,582 I'm not sure Rodrick's tips are really that cool. 896 00:56:20,002 --> 00:56:22,795 Okay, so the invisible Chirag joke is still going, 897 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,922 and the whole school is in on it. 898 00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:27,550 But it looks like Chirag's discovered our weakness. 899 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:29,469 Hello, Greg, Rowley. 900 00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:31,804 Still pretending I'm invisible, I presume. 901 00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:33,431 I don't know if I can do this. 902 00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:36,726 Stay strong. 903 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:38,811 What is this? A corn dog. 904 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:42,106 Rowley's all-time favorite lunch delicacy. 905 00:56:42,191 --> 00:56:46,402 If you say you can see me, Rowley, it is all yours. 906 00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:51,282 Mmm. Smell that buttermilk batter. 907 00:56:51,366 --> 00:56:52,867 You got him, Chirag. 908 00:56:52,951 --> 00:56:53,993 Resist it. 909 00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,078 Don't do it, Rowley. 910 00:56:56,205 --> 00:56:58,956 Hey, everyone, look! There's a floating corn dog. 911 00:57:07,091 --> 00:57:09,092 I don't want to get ahead of myself or anything, 912 00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:12,762 but I think I may have Class Clown in the bag for dreaming this one up. 913 00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:17,934 In conclusion, without last century's technological advances, 914 00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:23,523 there would be no computers, cell phones, or modern medical miracles. 915 00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:27,652 And so for that, we salute and thank our ancestors 916 00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:29,195 from 100 years ago. 917 00:57:36,995 --> 00:57:39,789 Thank you, Holly. That was excellent work. 918 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:42,416 I think we have time for one more. 919 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:46,337 I have to say that when I read this paper 920 00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:48,464 I was a bit surprised by its content. 921 00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:54,387 But more than any other, this one deserves to be read out loud. 922 00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:57,348 Greg? 923 00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,352 Yay, Greg! 924 00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,658 Just read it, Greg. All of it. 925 00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:19,829 Okay. 926 00:58:21,165 --> 00:58:25,334 "Sometimes I sit and wonder about stuff I do not know... 927 00:58:25,419 --> 00:58:29,505 "Like, what the Earth was, like 100 years ago... 928 00:58:29,590 --> 00:58:35,094 "Did cavemen ride on dinosaurs? Did flowers even grow? 929 00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:40,057 "Did spiders rule the Earth? Were deserts filled with snow? 930 00:58:40,142 --> 00:58:43,811 "There were no books or humans, so how were we to know... 931 00:58:43,896 --> 00:58:46,939 "What life was like 100 years ago?" 932 00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:51,277 Loser. 933 00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:58,326 Now, Greg, when we talk about how important it is to recycle, 934 00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:01,245 we don't mean turning in your brother's old papers. 935 00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,046 I thought Dad helped you with this paper. 936 00:59:10,130 --> 00:59:12,048 Well, actually, 937 00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,634 Dad started writing my papers because of that paper. 938 00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:16,093 I looked like an idiot! 939 00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:19,931 And the girl from the roller rink? She laughed at me. 940 00:59:20,599 --> 00:59:21,724 Ouch! 941 00:59:21,934 --> 00:59:24,977 Just do something that changes her opinion of you. 942 00:59:25,062 --> 00:59:27,939 Like, set a firecracker off in the classroom. Boom! 943 00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:29,398 Chicks dig bad boys. 944 00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:33,236 Well, actually I was thinking about writing her a note. 945 00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,571 You mean like one with words on it? 946 00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:37,198 I've got it all figured out. 947 00:59:37,282 --> 00:59:40,493 I'm gonna pass her a note with a question on it, but it'll be anonymous. 948 00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,745 She'll be like, "I have to know who wrote this. " 949 00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:44,497 Then later, I'll walk up to her 950 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,874 and ask her the exact same question. 951 00:59:46,959 --> 00:59:48,542 It'll blow her mind. 952 00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:50,253 A note? 953 00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:52,088 Do you want me to spell check it? 954 00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:54,006 Just pass it to Holly. 955 00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:56,509 To Holly. 956 01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:10,356 Thank you. 957 01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:16,112 It's from Greg. 958 01:00:25,956 --> 01:00:27,123 What's going on? 959 01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:29,834 Greg Heffley is passing me notes! 960 01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:31,544 No, I wasn't. 961 01:00:33,505 --> 01:00:36,424 "How do you get your hair to smell so beautiful?" 962 01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:57,820 Okay. The note was a minor setback, 963 01:00:57,904 --> 01:01:00,573 but at least things are still going well with Rodrick. 964 01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:02,992 It's amazing but I'm actually enjoying... 965 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:05,536 watching Löded Diper rehearse for the talent show. 966 01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:08,039 Bill's taken the band to a whole new level. 967 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,915 Somebody farted. 968 01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:16,464 I got one. I got one. I got a good one. I got a good one. 969 01:01:17,549 --> 01:01:18,883 Somebody farted. 970 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:27,183 My dad should be happy that I'm hanging out with Rodrick. 971 01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:29,685 But I don't think he really likes Bill. 972 01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:32,855 I think what he's worried about is I'll turn out like Rodrick, 973 01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:36,859 Manny'll turn out like me, and, eventually, we'll all turn out like Bill. 974 01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,527 Rock and roll! 975 01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:40,863 Rock on. Yeah. 976 01:02:04,513 --> 01:02:07,556 Dear Greg, meet me in the art room before lunch. 977 01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:10,893 There's something I want to ask you. Kiss, kiss. Holly. 978 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:30,079 Hi, Holly! I was glad to get your note. 979 01:02:30,163 --> 01:02:32,164 I've been wanting a chance to talk to you. 980 01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:37,670 And, hey, you like to paint. I'm kind of an artist myself. 981 01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:41,257 Holly? 982 01:02:45,387 --> 01:02:46,387 Ha! 983 01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:48,097 Chirag? 984 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:53,519 You see me now, don't you? Game, set and match to Chirag Gupta! 985 01:03:09,870 --> 01:03:11,579 Hi, Holly. Hi, Fregley. 986 01:03:13,206 --> 01:03:14,457 She thinks I'm Fregley? 987 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,875 That's got to hurt. 988 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,049 Want to see my secret freckle? 989 01:03:24,468 --> 01:03:25,676 Ew! 990 01:03:29,598 --> 01:03:32,725 So the note to the girl didn't work out? 991 01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:39,482 All right. Let's go. Little bro, I am taking you out. 992 01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,360 And here are my other men. 993 01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:45,488 Greg, Rodrick, I'd like you to meet my editors, 994 01:03:45,572 --> 01:03:46,989 Mr. Salz and Mrs. Kohan. 995 01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:49,492 Hey. Hello. Nice to meet you. Hello. 996 01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:51,118 Where you boys off to? 997 01:03:51,203 --> 01:03:52,703 Just taking the little brother out... 998 01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:54,830 for the evening. He could use a good time. 999 01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:57,750 Okay, well, be safe. And be home by 9:00. 1000 01:03:59,085 --> 01:04:01,128 Yeah. See you! 1001 01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:04,006 - Bye. - Bye. Have fun! 1002 01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:05,341 Good night. 1003 01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:08,260 Now that is impressive. 1004 01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:11,597 My older boy wants nothing to do with his younger brothers. 1005 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:14,058 You certainly practice what you preach. 1006 01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:16,393 I think every mother in town should read your column. 1007 01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:18,812 Thanks. 1008 01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:32,034 Mom would kill us if she saw us eating this. 1009 01:04:42,921 --> 01:04:45,464 Brain freeze! Brain freeze! 1010 01:04:45,549 --> 01:04:49,385 All I can say is, get ready to have your mind blown. 1011 01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:51,929 We are going to have an epic night. 1012 01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:56,934 Are you okay? 1013 01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:03,190 Fake vomit. You can't beat the classics. 1014 01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:04,692 Yeah. 1015 01:05:06,987 --> 01:05:10,155 Here we go. Here we go. Here he comes. 1016 01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:20,416 Okay. Very funny! Very funny. 1017 01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,129 This is sweet! 1018 01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:26,505 I told you. 1019 01:05:43,481 --> 01:05:47,735 So, you know that girl who I sent the note to? 1020 01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:49,486 Yeah? 1021 01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:52,031 She thinks I'm Fregley. 1022 01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,366 Oh, man! 1023 01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:58,287 I mean, hey, don't take it hard. 1024 01:05:58,371 --> 01:06:01,123 Girls act like they're not into you when they really are. 1025 01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:06,629 I mean, tons of girls act like they're not into me, but they are. 1026 01:06:06,713 --> 01:06:09,632 I know they are. I bet she really likes you. 1027 01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:14,053 Check it out. Check it out. 1028 01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:16,597 Whoa! 1029 01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,439 Who's out there? 1030 01:06:26,733 --> 01:06:27,941 No way. 1031 01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:29,318 Coach Malone? 1032 01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,820 Real funny, yeah? Oh, yeah! 1033 01:06:31,905 --> 01:06:35,616 Well, you just messed with the wrong athlete! 1034 01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:36,909 Move. Move! 1035 01:06:38,453 --> 01:06:40,371 Show yourself! Go, go! 1036 01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:44,750 You want to take me on? Yeah? You want to take me on? 1037 01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,711 You better bring your A game, 'cause I am a competitor! 1038 01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:49,421 - Come on! - You will come out! 1039 01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:51,674 You know I'm gonna find you! 1040 01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:52,800 Help! 1041 01:06:52,884 --> 01:06:53,926 Come on. 1042 01:06:55,095 --> 01:06:56,762 Something tickles. 1043 01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,561 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1044 01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:12,444 You can't outrun me! I'm a superstar! 1045 01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:13,862 RODRICK: Go, go, go, go! 1046 01:07:13,947 --> 01:07:16,073 Everywhere you go, it's me! 1047 01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:21,328 Stupid carbs! 1048 01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:23,831 There's the mall! Come on. 1049 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:25,582 I can't go much further! 1050 01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:44,059 Got you! 1051 01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,355 Coach Malone? 1052 01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:05,456 "You can't outrun me! I'm a superstar!" 1053 01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:07,374 "Everywhere you go, it's me!" 1054 01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:08,667 Come on. 1055 01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:15,132 Oh, you boys are five minutes early. Did you have a good time? 1056 01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:16,467 A great time. 1057 01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:18,260 That is so sweet. 1058 01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:20,471 I just can't get over how well your boys get along. 1059 01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:23,766 Well, Larry, we run a pretty tight ship around here. 1060 01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:25,934 It's all about boundaries, rules. 1061 01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:29,146 Anyway, let me show you some of those Civil War re-enactment photos 1062 01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:30,439 I was telling you about. 1063 01:08:30,523 --> 01:08:32,107 So, what did you boys do? 1064 01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:35,652 Just hung out at the mall. 1065 01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:39,948 And talked about life. Nothing special. 1066 01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:41,033 Oh, my God. 1067 01:08:44,913 --> 01:08:46,330 Rodrick? 1068 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:48,832 Can you explain what you're doing in this photo? 1069 01:08:51,211 --> 01:08:52,252 That's not me. 1070 01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:56,215 That's not you? 1071 01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:57,382 Nope. 1072 01:08:57,759 --> 01:09:00,344 Okay. How about these? 1073 01:09:16,611 --> 01:09:19,321 I can't believe that you had a party! 1074 01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:23,075 Greg, you told me it was a couple of kids, a band rehearsal! 1075 01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,577 Wait, Susan, you knew about this? 1076 01:09:26,246 --> 01:09:27,287 Yes. 1077 01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:28,497 Yes, I knew. 1078 01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:29,748 You told Mom? 1079 01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:31,333 I knew they had a party! 1080 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:33,335 It slipped out, but I took it back! 1081 01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:34,962 My instincts told me you weren't being honest! 1082 01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:36,588 - I should've trusted my instincts. - Wait! 1083 01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,841 You knew about this, but you didn't tell me about it? 1084 01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:40,509 I still protected you! 1085 01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:41,927 I threw Mom off your scent! 1086 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:44,096 Great job. She has no idea! 1087 01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:47,349 We are supposed to be a team against them! 1088 01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:48,851 They were getting along so well 1089 01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:50,352 I let it blind me to the truth! 1090 01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:52,187 Why were you taking pictures? 1091 01:09:52,272 --> 01:09:55,357 It was so crazy that morning, I forgot we took the pictures. 1092 01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:59,152 So I let it slide. And I am so sorry. 1093 01:09:59,237 --> 01:10:01,321 Oh, God. It feels so good to get that out. 1094 01:10:01,406 --> 01:10:05,367 I haven't been able to look at that bathroom door for two weeks! 1095 01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:07,619 I knew that door had a lock on it! 1096 01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:11,081 And everybody was trying to make me feel like I was losing my mind! 1097 01:10:11,165 --> 01:10:13,250 We're just gonna let ourselves out. 1098 01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:15,460 I wouldn't write a column about this. 1099 01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:22,885 I'm going upstairs! 1100 01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:25,178 To a bathroom that has a lock on it 1101 01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:28,515 and no one can tell me that it doesn't. 1102 01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:33,186 I have to go talk to your father. 1103 01:10:35,356 --> 01:10:37,691 I will deal with you boys later. 1104 01:10:41,195 --> 01:10:43,447 Rodrick, I really didn't tell her! 1105 01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:47,284 I mean maybe, sort of, but I made a deal with her, 1106 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:50,495 and we had a really good time, and... 1107 01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,497 You're my brother, 1108 01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:55,417 but you'll never be my friend. 1109 01:11:17,357 --> 01:11:19,942 Your father and I have talked and we've decided on your punishment. 1110 01:11:20,026 --> 01:11:23,612 Greg, you're grounded for two weeks. 1111 01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:26,740 Also, no video games for two weeks. 1112 01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:31,745 Rodrick, you may only drive to and from school for the next month. 1113 01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:35,707 As the ringleader, you are also grounded for a month. 1114 01:11:36,167 --> 01:11:39,795 Mom, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again. 1115 01:11:39,879 --> 01:11:41,505 I know you won't. 1116 01:11:43,091 --> 01:11:44,716 And to make sure 1117 01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:48,762 we're also not allowing you to perform in the talent show. 1118 01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:54,101 What? No. You can't do that. 1119 01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:56,311 Ground me for a year, I don't care, 1120 01:11:56,604 --> 01:11:58,605 but you have to let me play in that show. 1121 01:11:58,690 --> 01:12:00,691 This could be my big break. I'm sorry. 1122 01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:04,653 Dad? Come on. This isn't fair. I just got Bill in the band! 1123 01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:07,698 Actually, Rodrick, that doesn't help your case. 1124 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,116 Bill's kind of a jerk. 1125 01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:12,869 Our decision is final. 1126 01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:22,587 You are so dead! 1127 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,386 Things have never been worse. 1128 01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:31,013 Our parents are super mad at us, 1129 01:12:31,097 --> 01:12:32,639 so we have to spend the weekend... 1130 01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:35,851 at my grandpa's boring retirement community. 1131 01:12:35,935 --> 01:12:38,270 Holly Hills thinks I'm Fregley, 1132 01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:41,148 and my relationship with Rodrick is at an all-time low. 1133 01:12:41,232 --> 01:12:43,942 So he's made it his mission to ruin my life. 1134 01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:46,903 Quit it! 1135 01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:50,115 Why don't you tell Mom? You're good at that. 1136 01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:52,200 Grandpa doesn't like TV. 1137 01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:56,038 Instead, he prefers to watch the lobby on the security channel. 1138 01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,540 I should be rehearsing right now. 1139 01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:03,837 Please, Grandpa. Please, can we watch a real TV show now? 1140 01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,882 TV is just a bunch of fakers. 1141 01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,259 This is real life. 1142 01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,386 It's real life. You can't beat it. 1143 01:13:15,141 --> 01:13:17,809 How's about we all go down to the games room? 1144 01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:20,103 You boys like games, don't you? 1145 01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:23,648 The games room sounds fun... 1146 01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:28,403 until you realize that all the games in there are from, like, the 1800s. 1147 01:13:28,488 --> 01:13:32,616 My grandpa's favorite is a really old board game called Gutbusters. 1148 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:36,661 Now, remember, the object of the game is to read the joke card... 1149 01:13:36,746 --> 01:13:39,831 and all the other players have to try not to laugh. 1150 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:44,169 Good luck! There is some real rib-ticklers in there! 1151 01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:46,046 Yeah. 1152 01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:47,464 You go first. 1153 01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:52,803 "Putting economic policy before fiscal responsibility... 1154 01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,847 "is like putting the cart before the horse"... 1155 01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:05,941 That is hilarious, Grandpa! Read another one, Greg. 1156 01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:09,194 I'm going to go change my shirt. 1157 01:14:15,118 --> 01:14:16,201 Hi! 1158 01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:21,957 Oh, hi, Holly. What are you doing here? 1159 01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:24,501 I'm visiting my grandma. She just moved here. 1160 01:14:24,585 --> 01:14:27,045 I'm on Grandpa duty. 1161 01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:30,882 Listen, Greg, I'm really sorry for calling you Fregley the other day. 1162 01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,217 I don't know what happened. 1163 01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:35,679 I think it's the Greg and Freg part, my brain just flipped. 1164 01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:39,975 You called me Fregley? I had no idea. 1165 01:14:40,059 --> 01:14:41,393 Really? 1166 01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:42,853 Not really. 1167 01:14:42,937 --> 01:14:45,772 I heard it. It was pretty rough. 1168 01:14:45,857 --> 01:14:48,900 But don't worry, I have the rest of middle school to get over it. 1169 01:14:50,444 --> 01:14:52,028 What happened to your shirt? 1170 01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:55,407 Oh, my brother spit milk on me. 1171 01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:58,034 Let me guess, he was pretending to laugh 1172 01:14:58,119 --> 01:15:00,162 at something that wasn't actually funny. 1173 01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,621 How did you know? 1174 01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:03,498 It's in the Older Sibling Handbook. 1175 01:15:03,583 --> 01:15:07,085 Last week, my older sister put hair remover in my shampoo. 1176 01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:09,796 If I hadn't smelled something, I'd be completely bald by now! 1177 01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:11,548 Why would she do that? 1178 01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:13,675 Duh! 'Cause she's my sister. 1179 01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:17,429 It's part of the deal. You fight and then you get over it. 1180 01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:20,473 Not my brother. He hates me 1181 01:15:20,558 --> 01:15:22,184 and he'll never get over it. 1182 01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:25,020 Of course he will. He has to. He's your brother. 1183 01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:30,192 I also have a little sister who's spoiled rotten. 1184 01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:32,777 Tell me about it! My little brother ruins all my stuff, 1185 01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:35,322 and somehow I'm the one who ends up getting in trouble for it. 1186 01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:36,990 Doesn't that drive you nuts? 1187 01:15:38,242 --> 01:15:39,242 Holly! Time for dinner! 1188 01:15:39,327 --> 01:15:41,995 I got to go. It was cool hanging out with you. 1189 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,873 I'll look for you tomorrow, Greg. 1190 01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:47,542 See you later, Fregley. 1191 01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:50,170 I thought being at Grandpa's was a punishment... 1192 01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:54,341 but, really, it was destiny that Holly was here, too. 1193 01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:56,468 My luck had finally changed. 1194 01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:18,448 "I never believed in fate, or destiny, 1195 01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:20,158 "or whatever, until now. 1196 01:16:20,243 --> 01:16:22,744 "Things are finally starting to go my way!" 1197 01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:26,122 Rodrick, be quiet. Talk on the phone someplace else. 1198 01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:28,583 "I thought being at Grandpa's was a punishment... 1199 01:16:28,668 --> 01:16:32,420 "but, really, it was destiny that Holly was here, too. 1200 01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:35,215 "My luck had finally changed. " 1201 01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:37,842 Aww! 1202 01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,096 Give it back, Rodrick! 1203 01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:43,807 This stuff is priceless! No way. 1204 01:16:43,891 --> 01:16:45,350 Come on. Give it back! 1205 01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:47,269 You know what? I will give it back. 1206 01:16:47,353 --> 01:16:49,854 To Holly! Wait till she reads this garbage! 1207 01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:55,026 I don't even want to go 1208 01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:56,653 "I can't believe my luck! 1209 01:16:56,737 --> 01:16:59,030 "I finally got Holly all to myself 1210 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:01,324 "without Chirag, or anyone else!" 1211 01:17:03,286 --> 01:17:04,995 Give it back, Rodrick! Give it back. 1212 01:17:05,079 --> 01:17:06,788 No way. 1213 01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:13,670 Always stuck in a daydream 1214 01:17:13,754 --> 01:17:15,839 Can't focus on the other team 1215 01:17:15,923 --> 01:17:18,174 Hunted you all day and night 1216 01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:19,801 Now I'm ready for a fight 1217 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,553 This is war 1218 01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:24,222 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1219 01:17:24,307 --> 01:17:28,977 This is war 1220 01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:31,313 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1221 01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,897 This is war 1222 01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,695 'Cause I got to knock you out 1223 01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:42,198 Whoop! 1224 01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:47,996 Oh! 1225 01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:59,758 They say that you're the best 1226 01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:01,426 You gotta follow all the rest 1227 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,219 This is war 1228 01:18:03,971 --> 01:18:06,056 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1229 01:18:06,432 --> 01:18:08,183 Record, record, record. 1230 01:18:08,517 --> 01:18:10,435 This is war 1231 01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,854 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1232 01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,856 This is war 1233 01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:17,400 I can't be your friend 1234 01:18:17,485 --> 01:18:19,903 'Cause I gotta knock you out 1235 01:18:36,003 --> 01:18:37,670 I'm in the ladies'? 1236 01:18:56,816 --> 01:19:04,280 Peeping Tom! There's a Peeping Tom in there! 1237 01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:06,282 Let's get him! 1238 01:19:06,367 --> 01:19:11,746 What do you think you're doing in there? We'll come in and get you! 1239 01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:13,373 Take that, you Peeping Tom! 1240 01:19:13,457 --> 01:19:14,958 Let's get him! 1241 01:19:15,042 --> 01:19:17,168 Get out of here! 1242 01:19:17,294 --> 01:19:19,379 Stop that pervert! 1243 01:19:19,463 --> 01:19:22,090 The little whippersnapper! 1244 01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:24,968 I've got him! I've got him! 1245 01:19:25,052 --> 01:19:26,553 Shame on you! 1246 01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:28,680 I've got him in a headlock! 1247 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,892 I'm not the Peeping Tom! 1248 01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:33,977 Where'd he go? 1249 01:19:38,774 --> 01:19:40,650 Did he just come out of the ladies' room? 1250 01:19:48,159 --> 01:19:49,617 Hey, Greg! 1251 01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:52,495 What's new? Huh? 1252 01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:57,667 Well, my life is officially over. 1253 01:19:57,751 --> 01:19:59,502 Now that Rodrick has that tape of me... 1254 01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,463 running around in my underwear, 1255 01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:03,465 he basically owns me. 1256 01:20:05,509 --> 01:20:07,385 The day of the talent show came around... 1257 01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,929 and Mom and Dad made us both go. 1258 01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:13,391 Something about supporting the community, or whatever. 1259 01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,101 Scotty! 1260 01:20:16,228 --> 01:20:17,645 Come on! 1261 01:20:18,606 --> 01:20:20,148 Scotty! Come on! 1262 01:20:20,232 --> 01:20:22,442 You don't wanna let the magic fans down, do you? 1263 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:23,651 Go away! 1264 01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:25,445 Rowley, what's wrong? 1265 01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:27,989 My assistant, Scotty, got stage fright... 1266 01:20:28,073 --> 01:20:29,657 and now he doesn't wanna do the show. 1267 01:20:29,742 --> 01:20:33,161 Maybe Greg would help out. He can be your assistant. 1268 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,872 What? No way! 1269 01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:38,249 What? Rowley is your best friend. 1270 01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,918 This is important to him. You need to do this. 1271 01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,086 It's okay, Mrs. Heffley. 1272 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:44,881 Greg is just afraid that Holly Hills will think less of him. 1273 01:20:44,965 --> 01:20:46,341 Rowley. 1274 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:49,844 Mom, can we talk in private? Sure. 1275 01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,596 Scotty, please. 1276 01:20:53,724 --> 01:20:55,975 Look... Who's this Holly Hills? 1277 01:20:56,101 --> 01:20:57,185 Is she your girlfriend? No! 1278 01:20:57,269 --> 01:20:59,812 She's just some girl who happens to be a friend 1279 01:20:59,897 --> 01:21:01,856 who I don't want to be humiliated in front of. 1280 01:21:01,941 --> 01:21:04,067 I see your point. 1281 01:21:04,151 --> 01:21:05,360 So is this Holly in your class? 1282 01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:06,528 Mom! 1283 01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:07,904 Okay. 1284 01:21:08,697 --> 01:21:09,864 Here we go. 1285 01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:12,116 So, are you going to make me do it? 1286 01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:14,744 Please, Scotty. 1287 01:21:14,828 --> 01:21:17,664 No. No, I get it. I get it. 1288 01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:20,250 Can you at least point her out to me? 1289 01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,378 Okay, okay, I'll stop. 1290 01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:33,638 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 1291 01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:37,642 welcome to Plainview's Most Talented! 1292 01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:44,399 And without further ado, Ms. Patty Farrell! 1293 01:21:55,828 --> 01:22:01,817 Memory All alone in the moonlight 1294 01:22:02,501 --> 01:22:06,546 I can smile at the old days 1295 01:22:06,672 --> 01:22:10,550 I was beautiful then 1296 01:22:10,634 --> 01:22:12,093 Wow, she's really good. 1297 01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:15,013 I remember the time 1298 01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:19,767 I knew what happiness was 1299 01:22:19,852 --> 01:22:25,774 Let the memory live again 1300 01:22:27,526 --> 01:22:30,153 Touch me 1301 01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:34,115 It's so easy to leave me 1302 01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:38,077 All alone with the memory 1303 01:22:38,162 --> 01:22:41,873 Of my days in the sun 1304 01:22:42,541 --> 01:22:45,877 If you touch me... 1305 01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:48,421 Greg, she's cute. 1306 01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:49,797 She's super cute. 1307 01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:51,174 Mom! 1308 01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:56,471 Look, a new day 1309 01:22:56,555 --> 01:23:02,268 Has begun 1310 01:23:07,316 --> 01:23:08,733 Oh, thank you! 1311 01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:18,368 Say hello to the boys and girls, Freggers. 1312 01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:21,663 Hello, boys and girls! I love you. 1313 01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:25,541 And tonight, when you are all fast asleep 1314 01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:31,339 I'm going to crawl through your window and give you all a big hug! 1315 01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:48,523 Hey, you could do that. Right? 1316 01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:49,774 Yeah. 1317 01:23:53,404 --> 01:23:57,615 A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam 1318 01:23:57,700 --> 01:24:01,285 I was born on the 4th of July 1319 01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:05,456 I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart 1320 01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:09,335 She's my Yankee Doodle joy 1321 01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:11,504 Yankee doodle came to... 1322 01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:16,718 You can't go on without me. I started Löded Diper. I'm the backbone! 1323 01:24:16,802 --> 01:24:20,430 Well, we got a new backbone now, dude. 1324 01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:22,515 This guy. 1325 01:24:22,599 --> 01:24:25,059 That's rock and roll, bro. 1326 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:31,482 Did you guys see the audience? Oh, man! It's huge. 1327 01:24:36,238 --> 01:24:39,157 This roller-skating kid is really good! 1328 01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:41,743 Don't you think... 1329 01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,752 Greg! Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. 1330 01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,130 Mom, you need to let Rodrick play in the talent show tonight. 1331 01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:57,216 Greg, we've been over this. He needs to learn a lesson. 1332 01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:59,927 His band is playing without him, and it's not fair. 1333 01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:01,596 And I'm sure that's very hard on him, 1334 01:25:01,680 --> 01:25:03,681 but I can't go back on the punishment. 1335 01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:06,559 Mom. Yes? 1336 01:25:08,854 --> 01:25:12,106 You let Rodrick play in the talent show, 1337 01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:14,400 I'll... 1338 01:25:16,278 --> 01:25:17,945 ...do the magic thing with Rowley. 1339 01:25:19,782 --> 01:25:23,201 Really? You'd do that? 1340 01:25:25,704 --> 01:25:27,413 You'll be Rowley's partner, even though you said 1341 01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:30,833 it's totally embarrassing and humiliating? 1342 01:25:31,710 --> 01:25:34,545 You're willing to do that just so your brother can play? 1343 01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:39,008 Yes. 1344 01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,263 Come here. 1345 01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:53,064 I mean, how bad can it be? 1346 01:26:03,826 --> 01:26:05,117 Scotty was right. 1347 01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:06,619 There's a lot of people out there. 1348 01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:10,665 Just start with your opening trick, like you rehearsed at home. 1349 01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:13,918 Forget about all the people. Go. 1350 01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,844 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1351 01:26:22,928 --> 01:26:28,474 I am the Remarkable Rowley, master of illusion. 1352 01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:35,439 And joining me onstage is my faithful assistant, Scotty. 1353 01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:36,983 Greg! 1354 01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:39,318 Greg. 1355 01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:44,365 Who looks a little cold. Maybe he needs a scarf. 1356 01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:56,836 Ew! Don't put them on me! They're still wet! 1357 01:27:01,341 --> 01:27:04,135 Sorry, Greg. Here's a peace offering. 1358 01:27:10,642 --> 01:27:14,437 Fly. Fly away. Be free, little friend. 1359 01:27:16,148 --> 01:27:17,148 Oh. Oh. 1360 01:27:19,651 --> 01:27:21,235 That thing's dead. 1361 01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:23,738 I think I had him in my pocket too long. 1362 01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:27,742 No hard feelings? 1363 01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:48,512 Keep going. We're a hit! 1364 01:27:48,639 --> 01:27:52,934 And now, for my grand finale, 1365 01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:56,145 the saw-the-lady-in-half trick! 1366 01:27:58,649 --> 01:28:00,024 If you will. 1367 01:28:04,696 --> 01:28:06,530 Push out the feet. Okay. 1368 01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:12,286 No trap doors. No chance of escape. 1369 01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:17,333 I will now miraculously saw Greg in half. 1370 01:28:18,335 --> 01:28:20,544 Wait. Forget it! I want out! 1371 01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:24,131 What are you doing? 1372 01:28:24,216 --> 01:28:25,299 This is the showstopper! 1373 01:28:25,384 --> 01:28:27,218 Good, then stop! 1374 01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:31,681 Ow! Ow! Ow! 1375 01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:36,769 Ladies and gentlemen, the Remarkable Rowley! 1376 01:28:38,355 --> 01:28:40,898 And Greg the Great! 1377 01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:45,528 That should have been me! 1378 01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:55,830 We killed. And I didn't have to die! 1379 01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:58,416 It was even better than it was in the rehearsals. 1380 01:28:58,500 --> 01:28:59,583 Hi. Can I have your autograph? 1381 01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:00,710 Sure. Sure. 1382 01:29:00,794 --> 01:29:03,421 Your performance was pathetic, Greg Heffley! 1383 01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:06,382 Only a moron would find humor in bird poop! 1384 01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,220 You stupid bird! 1385 01:29:13,432 --> 01:29:17,226 Oh, my gosh. You guys did great. That was really funny. 1386 01:29:17,310 --> 01:29:19,186 The unitard or the performance? 1387 01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:20,479 Both. 1388 01:29:20,564 --> 01:29:22,982 Thank you, thank you! Thank you. 1389 01:29:23,066 --> 01:29:24,817 Just do your best, honey. 1390 01:29:24,901 --> 01:29:25,985 Oh, um... 1391 01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:29,196 Can I borrow your eyeliner? 1392 01:29:30,157 --> 01:29:31,532 Yeah. 1393 01:29:36,455 --> 01:29:38,039 Looks like you guys made up. 1394 01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:41,500 We're brothers. 1395 01:29:41,585 --> 01:29:43,294 Please welcome to the stage... 1396 01:29:44,129 --> 01:29:47,923 Löded Diper! Oh, yeah! 1397 01:29:48,008 --> 01:29:50,092 Mom, go! Get off the stage! 1398 01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:55,765 We are Löded Diper! 1399 01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:07,568 You told us we were losers 1400 01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:10,404 And we can't do nothing right 1401 01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:12,364 You said we'd never make it 1402 01:30:12,449 --> 01:30:17,620 But just look at us tonight 1403 01:30:20,624 --> 01:30:22,416 All over the place! 1404 01:30:22,501 --> 01:30:25,419 Exploded Diper 1405 01:30:25,504 --> 01:30:27,213 In your face 1406 01:30:27,297 --> 01:30:30,174 Exploded Diper 1407 01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,176 We can't be stopped 1408 01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,512 Exploded Diper 1409 01:30:34,596 --> 01:30:36,931 Your head is gonna pop 1410 01:30:37,015 --> 01:30:39,600 Exploded Diper 1411 01:30:39,684 --> 01:30:42,019 You can't keep us down 1412 01:30:42,104 --> 01:30:44,396 We're gonna hit the fan 1413 01:30:44,481 --> 01:30:46,816 And rock this sleepy town 1414 01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:54,406 Get up, all you haters! 1415 01:30:54,491 --> 01:30:57,576 Dude, they love us! 1416 01:30:57,661 --> 01:30:59,703 No hard feelings, right, bro? 1417 01:30:59,788 --> 01:31:01,956 Hey, Bill, you know what? 1418 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,126 When we're done tonight, you're out of the band. 1419 01:31:05,210 --> 01:31:06,293 What? 1420 01:31:06,378 --> 01:31:08,712 That's rock and roll, bro. 1421 01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:09,880 Löded... 1422 01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:11,006 Diper... 1423 01:31:11,091 --> 01:31:12,258 Löded... 1424 01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:13,425 Diper... 1425 01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:14,510 Löded... 1426 01:31:14,594 --> 01:31:15,636 Diper 1427 01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:17,346 Come here. Look. 1428 01:31:18,056 --> 01:31:19,431 Dad? Are we gonna tell them... 1429 01:31:19,516 --> 01:31:23,269 that the audience went crazy for Mom's weird dancing? 1430 01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:27,356 He's happy. She's happy. 1431 01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:30,484 I say we keep this one between the two of us, okay? 1432 01:31:30,569 --> 01:31:32,736 Exploded Diper 1433 01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:35,239 It's us, the Diper And yes, we rock 1434 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:41,254 Exploded Diper 1435 01:31:50,422 --> 01:31:53,257 So, I just wanted to say that 1436 01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:57,094 you getting Mom to let me play last night was really cool. 1437 01:31:57,179 --> 01:31:59,221 Yeah, well, I kind of owed you. 1438 01:32:01,016 --> 01:32:03,184 Oh, and here. 1439 01:32:07,606 --> 01:32:11,192 The tape? You're giving it to me? Hey! 1440 01:32:12,110 --> 01:32:16,322 Don't make a big deal about it or I'll post it on YouTube, okay? 1441 01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:28,792 Now get out. 1442 01:32:30,003 --> 01:32:31,170 Doofus. 1443 01:32:32,672 --> 01:32:33,881 Okay. 1444 01:32:34,925 --> 01:32:36,217 Later. 1445 01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:38,469 Butt-brain! 1446 01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:55,236 You know, I guess having a big brother isn't all that bad. 1447 01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,196 Maybe we don't always get along, 1448 01:32:57,280 --> 01:32:59,365 but I know he's gonna be there for me. 1449 01:32:59,449 --> 01:33:03,369 Hey, I just spilled grape juice on the couch and kind of blamed it on you. 1450 01:33:03,453 --> 01:33:04,662 Later. 1451 01:33:09,793 --> 01:33:11,252 I'll get him back. 1452 01:33:12,170 --> 01:33:13,420 Action! 1453 01:34:52,354 --> 01:34:55,356 Exploded Diper 1454 01:34:55,440 --> 01:34:57,316 All over the place! 1455 01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:58,692 Exploded Diper 1456 01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:00,778 Okay, it's uploaded. 1457 01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:01,987 In your face 1458 01:35:02,072 --> 01:35:04,615 Exploded Diper 1459 01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:05,949 Holy cow. 1460 01:35:07,494 --> 01:35:09,870 This is huge! We're an Internet sensation! 1461 01:35:09,954 --> 01:35:12,998 Greg! You are so dead! 1462 01:35:13,333 --> 01:35:16,210 Exploded Diper