2
00:00:45,78 --> 00:00:47,547
Hey, hey. If you're coming
in for the morning grind...

3
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,417
...it's another brutal Monday
out there traffic-wise.

4
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,320
The 2 is slow-and-go to the 5. A Sig
Alert is bogging down the l-10.

5
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:58,391
And if you're on the 405 freeway,
you're probably already late for work.

6
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,328
If your boss gives you a hard time about
it, have him come down here and talk to...

7
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,530
... Rachel. MIKE: Oh, no.

8
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:04,731
 [ALL LAUGHING]

9
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,400
Zing! Ha, ha. Thanks, Skip.

10
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:10,70
But, hey, speaking of
bosses, after the break...

11
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,672
...we get to meet three
guys who are chasing

12
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,974
their dream of becoming
their own bosses.

13
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,176
Stay with us.

14
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:19,646
And we're out. Very good, guys.
We're back in 90 seconds.

15
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,881
 [CHATTERING]

16
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,518
Jesus Christ. Dale, you
gotta stop sweating, pal.

17
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,755
- Oh, wow, you are wet.
- "Stop sweating." How do I stop sweating?

18
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,491
This is a big deal. We got
everything riding on this.

19
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:35,328
We've quit our jobs, I have three children
to think about now. How about that?

20
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:39,165
Think about this. You do a good job now,
you're gonna make your boys very proud.

21
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,201
Girls. I have
three girls, dude.

22
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,536
Hmm? Right. You can't
even tell at that age.

23
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,105
They basically look
like potatoes with arms.

24
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,39
Don't call my kids potatoes.

25
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,41
 DALE: Respect the kids.
- Don't piss him off.

26
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,642
- They wear pink!
- Calm him down.

27
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,411
A lot of guys wear pink.

28
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:53,713
- I have a pink polo shirt that I love.
- Come on.

29
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:56,750
- Can we get a roll of paper towels?
- Can I get paper towels?!

30
00:01:56,916 --> 00:02:00,253
Why are you barking at people? He's
saying please, you're just barking.

31
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,122
- Bad manners.
- Buddy, dry your face.

32
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,90
- He's freaking out.
- It's unbelievable.

33
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:07,494
 DALE: Can you go on without me?
- Why don't you wait in the car?

34
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,996
Stop, this is gonna be easy.
You have to calm down.

35
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:14,0
Look, Nick's gonna hit them with facts and
figures, because he's the brains, right?

36
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:17,804
You talk about how you and your wife
****ed and made three potatoes with arms.

37
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,974
You're the heart. Me, I'll do my
thing, get in where I fit in.

38
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,243
- You're the soul?
- No, I'm the **** and balls.

39
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,311
- Got it.
- Why would I wanna be the soul?

40
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,882
- Just don't pass out. Just keep breathing.
- See? This will be easy.

41
00:02:29,82 --> 00:02:32,652
- All we have to do is be ourselves.
- Let's not. Ourselves is a Dumpster fire.

42
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,55
Let's be better. Let's
try to elevate a little.

43
00:02:35,88 --> 00:02:37,90
That's a good note.
Nobody be themselves.

44
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,159
All right, we're
back in 20 seconds.

45
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,127
Hey, fellas, thanks for coming.

46
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:44,364
- Nice to meet you.
- Good morning. How are you?

47
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,733
Hey, my man. There's trouble.

48
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:48,601
- Too much.
- Well, he went with it.

49
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:51,71
- Dale Arbus.
- Pleasure to meet you, man.

50
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,440
- Thanks for coming on. This will be fun.
- Yeah.

51
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,241
Does that zip all the way down?

52
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,877
And we're back in five, four...

53
00:02:58,44 --> 00:02:59,179
 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

54
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:03,450
Get up, get up, get
up, and get out

55
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,753
Ha, ha! And we're back. You know,
every week we like to highlight...

56
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,889
...local inventors and entrepreneurs
in our Big Idea Spotlight.

57
00:03:10,90 --> 00:03:11,124
That's right, Mike.

58
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,193
And today we have
three modern-day...

59
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:18,198
...Edisons who've created a new shower
gadget they hope to really clean up with.

60
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,899
 [ALL CHUCKLE]  [DALE
LAUGHS FORCEFULLY]

61
00:03:20,33 --> 00:03:23,636
Please, welcome Nick,
Kurt and Dale.

62
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:24,838
Pleasure to be here.

63
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,374
Before we get to the
product, can you tell us...

64
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:31,611
...what is it that inspired three regular
Joes to go into business for yourselves?

65
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,848
We were all working at pretty
terrible jobs for some awful bosses.

66
00:03:35,15 --> 00:03:38,752
And thought if we got a chance to be our
own bosses, we'd do things differently.

67
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,120
This might be our shot.

68
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,390
We didn't think we'd get the chance,
but Dale had an amazing idea.

69
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,624
Don't go to Dale.

70
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,694
And, uh, we started meeting together
to talk about the invention...

71
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,796
...instead of complaining
about our jobs.

72
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,297
Hey, I think that's exciting.

73
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,665
 [BOTH LAUGH]

74
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,635
Dale, you know, I just wanna know,
where did the idea come from...

75
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,637
- ...for a new showerhead?
- I have three kids.

76
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,838
 [KURT SIGHS]

77
00:03:59,5 --> 00:04:00,273
 DALE: So that's the heart.

78
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,9
 MIKE: That's a blessing.
- Yeah, well, he has triplets.

79
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,279
In all honesty, it's too many.
I'm pretty overwhelmed.

80
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,648
 NICK: Well, he's got them
on his mind, clearly.

81
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,250
 NICK: Uh, let me
answer the question.

82
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,553
Dale, uh, had just gotten back from one
of those self-service car washes...

83
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,790
- ...with the wand with the soap.
- It's got everything in one thing.

84
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,793
He thought, "Why don't they make
one of these for your body?"

85
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,696
After we had a few beers, we came
up with the, uh, Shower Buddy.

86
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:23,663
The Shower Buddy?

87
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,665
I'm sorry, that name's
not official yet.

88
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,702
- No, he's wrong. It is official.
- I wanted the "Shower Daddy."

89
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,804
"Shower Daddy" is
worse on every level.

90
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,205
I have to agree with Nick.

91
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,474
Better than having some
strange dude with you.

92
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,877
It's not some strange dude, as I've
said many times. It's your buddy.

93
00:04:38,44 --> 00:04:40,847
- Why would your buddy be in the shower?
-  [SHOUTS] Why would your dad?

94
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,350
- Uh-oh.
- Don't scream on television.

95
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,686
You know what? How about you fellas
show us how this gizmo works?

96
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,588
Right? Let's get it going.
Ha, ha.

97
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,724
Yes. Make it rain. Yes.
Work it, work it.

98
00:04:51,24 --> 00:04:52,892
Oh, this is awesome.

99
00:04:53,26 --> 00:04:56,262
Kurt's gonna turn on the shower.
You're gonna see the water come out.

100
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,798
After a bit, the shampoo's
gonna automatically

101
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,734
be triggered out of
the showerhead...

102
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,569
- No water pressure.
- The blue handle.

103
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,938
- No water pressure.
- There's a pump on the back.

104
00:05:05,71 --> 00:05:06,306
I could pump it manually.

105
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,375
Dale's gonna help out.
Thank you, buddy.

106
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,43
- Pump.
- You got it?

107
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,244
 DALE: I got it. - Yeah?

108
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,850
- Now, go ahead and shut it off.
- It's so cool. I want one.

109
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,920
You can't have this one. It's the
prototype. But we're looking for partners.

110
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,356
I'll tell you right now. I'm sold.
I wanna invest.

111
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,258
We got one. All right, Mike.

112
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,494
Now, how would I get in
touch with you guys?

113
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,964
- You go straight to Nickkurtdale.
- I'm sorry, what?

114
00:05:31,97 --> 00:05:32,932
It's our website. Nickkurtdale.
com.

115
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,36
I'm positive I'm not
hearing that right.

116
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,238
It's our names:
Nick, Kurt, Dale.

117
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,774
 [IN UNISON] Nickkurtdale.

118
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,710
Y'all gotta change that name.

119
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,714
Cannot believe we never
said it out loud before.

120
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,883
It looked so good on paper.

121
00:05:50,16 --> 00:05:52,252
It was a nice dream while
it lasted, but I think

122
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,220
it's time we all go beg
for our jobs back.

123
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:57,724
Maybe just accept the fact that we'll
always be cogs in the machine.

124
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,260
Wait. ****s in the machine.
What is that?

125
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,795
"Cogs." Guh.

126
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,664
You know what? You're right.
We're not boss material.

127
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,399
We're worker bees. We're grunts.

128
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,234
 [KATY PERRY'S "ROAR"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

129
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,71
Oh, boy. That song. I can't hear that now.
Just put it on vibrate.

130
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,272
- Will you stop?
- Please?

131
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,175
- I picked this song to inspire us.
- It's not inspiring me.

132
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,910
Look at this. Unknown caller.

133
00:06:17,77 --> 00:06:18,311
-  Just answer it. KURT: Hello?

134
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:21,381
Yup, this is one of the
Shower Buddy guys. Mm-hm.

135
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:25,185
Really? Yes. No, of course.
I know exactly who you are.

136
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,20
Look up "Boulder
Stream." Boulder Stream.

137
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,823
Uh-huh. Thank you. We're
very proud of the product.

138
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:33,126
- E-mail us the details, that'll be fine.
- Is that a real thing?

139
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,861
- Yeah, my e-mail?
- Not yours.

140
00:06:35,28 --> 00:06:37,764
Yeah, it's
phatballllz@hotmail.com.

141
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:45,305
It's P-H-A-T-B-A-L-L...
...L-L-Z...

142
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:46,673
...@hotmail.com.

143
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,241
Yeah. All right. Thank you.
Yeah.

144
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:49,609
- See you tomorrow.
- Wow.

145
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,312
Holy ***. Boulder Stream
loves the Shower Buddy.

146
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,980
Who the **** is Boulder Stream?

147
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,517
Only one of the largest catalog
retailers in North America.

148
00:07:00,20 --> 00:07:03,490
You're gonna hear me roar Nice.

149
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,693
When you're in a good mood, it's
a good song. Bad mood, bad song.

150
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,261
That's art. That's good art.

151
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,967
 DALE: Man, this place is legit.
 KURT: Yeah, it's nice.

152
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,502
Did you see the free cookies?

153
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,737
Yeah, you clearly have.
That's four of those.

154
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:21,307
- You're gonna have chocolate on your face.
 KURT: When we meet this guy...

155
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,611
...when you shake his hand, use your
other hand and touch his elbow.

156
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:27,380
- It's a classy move.
- I don't know this move. Let me see.

157
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,149
- Like that.
- Please, both sit down.

158
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,117
- That's nice.
- How about that? Not bad.

159
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,820
- That's really good.
- You got chocolate on your fingers.

160
00:07:34,20 --> 00:07:35,188
Now it's on my jacket.

161
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,191
- Put water on it.
- I don't need water. That will set it.

162
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,494
- Get the cookie away from me. DALE:
No, it's like a fire-on-fire thing.

163
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,796
No, the water will set it.

164
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,465
Ha! There they are. There
are my shower buddies.

165
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,167
How are you? In the flesh.

166
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,637
It's just like on that morning show.
You're always fighting. I love it.

167
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,238
- Yeah, it's a...
- Rex Hanson.

168
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,274
- Oh, hey. Kurt Buckman.
- Good to see you.

169
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,109
 KURT: Nice to see you.
- Classy handshake.

170
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,844
- Nick Hendricks.
- Nick, pleasure.

171
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,346
Hey, uh, Dale Arb... Uh...

172
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,115
- Shoot. I just learned it.
- We can do it whichever way you want.

173
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,416
 [ALL CHUCKLE]

174
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,919
 KURT: Right?
- To be clear, we're not racist.

175
00:08:06,52 --> 00:08:07,754
Well, that's good.
We can use that.

176
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:11,57
Why don't we grab the refreshments, coffee?
Grab some cookies.

177
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,427
Let's head upstairs. Let's talk about
this product. Is that corduroy?

178
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,964
Step inside. Dreams
do come true.

179
00:08:18,98 --> 00:08:19,699
You guys want
something to drink?

180
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:21,201
 KURT: I'll take one. DALE: Sure.

181
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,937
- No. It's very early.
- No for us. Sorry.

182
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:28,41
I'm gonna cut right to it, gentlemen.
The Shower Buddy: a home run.

183
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,577
Well, Mr. Hanson, we
couldn't be happier...

184
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,180
Mr. Hanson is my father.
It's "Rex."

185
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,250
Please, sit down. Get comfortable.
Take a seat.

186
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,586
We want you to know that
we are a company you

187
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,554
can be very proud to
be in business with.

188
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,823
Our workers are all
gonna have health care...

189
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,625
I don't really give
a *** about that.

190
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,561
Do you see this? This is Jimi
Hendrix's actual guitar.

191
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,930
Heh, yeah. The one he did
the fire and fingers

192
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,732
thing with. You like
cool *** like this?

193
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,734
- We love cool ***.
- I'm into cool ***.

194
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,404
- You like ****ing samurais?
- Samurais? Sure.

195
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,874
I knew you did. Get into business with me,
you're gonna have ****ing loads of it.

196
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,610
So you are offering to
carry our product...?

197
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,345
Wait a minute. Check this out.

198
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,714
Miss Lang, will you
come in here a moment?

199
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,182
Now what?

200
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,118
Jesus ****ing Christ.

201
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:16,890
Sweetheart, we were racking our brains.
What's a beer can made out of?

202
00:09:17,57 --> 00:09:18,491
Do you mean aluminum?

203
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,962
- That'll be all, Miss Lang. Thank you.
- Okay.

204
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,465
And where does she go now?

205
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:29,235
Now, that is the kind of cool
*** you have to look forward to.

206
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:32,472
Best part about this deal: you're
not gonna have to lift a finger.

207
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:35,342
My company will assume all
future product development...

208
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,243
...outsource manufacturing
to China...

209
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,946
...and you receive a handsome
one-time development fee.

210
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,248
I wanna dig in on the
one-time fee because...

211
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,383
You see this football?

212
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:47,487
This is the one Peyton Manning threw and
the guy caught it in his helmet. Keep it.

213
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,123
You know, Rex, the
one-time fee thing, we're

214
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,392
not looking to give up
control of the company.

215
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,694
Right. We wanna handle
all the manufacturing

216
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,129
and you guys do distribution.

217
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,865
What, you manufacture?
Here, in America?

218
00:09:59,32 --> 00:10:01,234
- That's the plan.
- The American-dream thing.

219
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,971
Boys, I hate to break it to you, but the
American dream, it's made in China.

220
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,607
Now, look, I respect
your Naïveté, uh...

221
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,977
...but I'm afraid that this
deal only happens one way.

222
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,179
I did say "handsome fee," right?

223
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,149
Can I have one minute? Just
love to talk to my partners.

224
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,985
You got it. Take your time.
I'll be over here.

225
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,522
-  Oh, boy. DALE: Man.

226
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,58
- What do you think?
- I didn't wanna say anything...

227
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,460
...but he means Eli Manning,
not Peyton Manning.

228
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,29
Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Kurt.

229
00:10:29,62 --> 00:10:31,464
I think she has an
amazing ****ing body...

230
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,701
...but that accent puts her over the top.
It's insane. That dress.

231
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,936
Agreed on both points.
How about the deal?

232
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,172
- The deal. Gotta take it.
- We should take it.

233
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,741
- Take the money and get out.
- He's got cool ***.

234
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,678
- Imagine having your own cool ***.
- But look at this place.

235
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,380
I mean, these guys make loads
of money selling stuff...

236
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,916
...and he just called our
Shower Buddy a home run.

237
00:10:50,50 --> 00:10:53,586
- Why sell a home run for a one-time fee?
- That's a good point.

238
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,556
I don't know. I could use the
money for Stacy and the girls.

239
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,159
That's a good point. That's true.
I could use money.

240
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,795
I get that. But maybe it's
not just about the money.

241
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,163
That's a good point.

242
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,266
Maybe it's about never having
to work for anybody ever again.

243
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,635
 KURT: That's right.
- Right? Being our own bosses.

244
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,570
- I say we bet on ourselves.
- Me too.

245
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:11,838
- You're right.
- I'm in.

246
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,139
I'm in. Let's do it.

247
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,608
Okay. Rex. Ahem.

248
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,544
-  Uh, no deal. DALE: Sorry.

249
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,913
- We're, uh, betting on ourselves.
- Is that right?

250
00:11:20,80 --> 00:11:23,283
Yeah. And no hard feelings. Honestly,
we really appreciate the offer.

251
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,720
 NICK: Sorry.
- Yeah. I can respect that.

252
00:11:27,20 --> 00:11:29,789
Takes some serious balls to
walk away from 3 million bucks.

253
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,225
Hang on. Three million dollars?
We'll take that.

254
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,860
Sorry. Offer's off the table.

255
00:11:34,27 --> 00:11:36,262
We'll take half. Half is fine.
Can we have half?

256
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,598
Ship's sailed. Thank you
so much for coming in.

257
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,801
Dale, I'm gonna need that ball back.
Good luck building something in America.

258
00:11:42,2 --> 00:11:43,36
 [DOOR OPENS]

259
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,804
 BERT: You know...

260
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:49,709
...I built this company from
the bottom up here in America.

261
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:53,980
- Dad, I didn't know you were back.
- What'd I tell you about using my office?

262
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,417
 REX: I know, I just thought, you know...
- Bert Hanson.

263
00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:58,985
You're the Shower Buddy guys?

264
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,720
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah. We are, sir.

265
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:05,658
I respect you gentlemen for wanting to roll
up your sleeves and build something...

266
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,861
...stake your claim.

267
00:12:08,28 --> 00:12:10,630
Now, I came to this
country with nothing.

268
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:15,802
And through risk and hard work, I
made my own American dream come true.

269
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,103
 [CHUCKLES]

270
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,674
- Good for you.
- Well, here's what I'm gonna do.

271
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:25,145
I'll refer you to my contact
at Pacific Shore National.

272
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:28,314
- That's a bank.
- They won't balk at giving you a loan...

273
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:33,853
...once they hear that Bert Hanson just has
placed an initial order of, say, um...

274
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:37,991
...100,000 units?

275
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,427
- A hundred-thousand Shower Buddies?
- Whoa. Ha!

276
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,562
You're gonna make
100,000 Shower Buddies?

277
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:43,763
 [DALE AND KURT LAUGH]

278
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,666
Dad, what are you talking about?
We never make this kind of deal.

279
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,2
I'm sorry, sir.

280
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,707
But Boulder Stream needs to
be your exclusive retailer.

281
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,709
Uh, let's think it over.
Of course.

282
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,944
We won't pick up the
phone if anyone calls.

283
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,714
- We have a deal?
- Yeah, you got a ****ing deal.

284
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,117
- Hey, all right. There it is.
- I got his elbow. Yeah.

285
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,153
- I got some chocolate on you there.
- It doesn't matter.

286
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,123
That's great. That is good news.

287
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:14,627
So it's 20,000 square feet, but
it's a minimum five-year lease.

288
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,464
Twenty thousand. That sounds
like a lot more than we need.

289
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,833
But we want something we
can grow into, right?

290
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,269
- And we have a really big order, Nick.
- Damn straight. Come on, Nick.

291
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,271
- Nick. Nick.
- I don't know.

292
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,240
You know, I say we take it.
I say we take it.

293
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:27,874
Yes.

294
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,876
- Yes, we do.
- Excellent.

295
00:13:30,76 --> 00:13:32,78
 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

296
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,880
You've got no work
experience at all.

297
00:14:07,13 --> 00:14:08,181
Is that bad?

298
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,716
Are you kidding? It's great.

299
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,552
- You're enthusiastic and you're unjaded.
- And unqualified.

300
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,854
- You know what? You're hired.
 DALE: Oops.

301
00:14:15,21 --> 00:14:18,858
- Really?
- That was unexpected and, uh, undeserving.

302
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,428
 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

303
00:14:30,36 --> 00:14:31,71
You're hired.

304
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,240
That's a yes. That's
an obvious yes.

305
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,478
 [LUPE LAUGHS AND CONTINUES
SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

306
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,947
 DALE: Well, again, uh...
- No résumé at all.

307
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,717
Don't need it. Your eyes speak.
You seem honest.

308
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,918
Hold on, pal.

309
00:14:45,51 --> 00:14:47,20
- Um, you're hired.
 WOMAN: Really?

310
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,255
- I mean, if you'll have us.
- Thank you.

311
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,790
- Becoming faster now.
- Well...

312
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,860
- Can you start on Saturday evening?
 GIRL: Absolutely.

313
00:14:54,27 --> 00:14:55,662
Okay, great, I'll
get ahold of you.

314
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,964
Says here you've been
convicted of a felony.

315
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:58,965
That was bull***.

316
00:14:59,99 --> 00:15:02,202
Word up, though, I get that, man.
Like, pfft, I had a similar thing.

317
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,472
They tried to peg me as a child ***
offender. It was total bull***.

318
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,475
Oh, yo, yo, yo. I ain't
down with no kid-****ers.

319
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,644
- I'm not down with kid *** either.
 KURT: Yeah, none of us are.

320
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,446
N-to-the-O, brother.

321
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,815
 NICK: We do not
support that at all.

322
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,485
But, you know, let's
just give the guy a job.

323
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,854
Just... Yeah. I don't
wanna upset this guy.

324
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,156
Well, tell you what, Tiffany.
You're hired.

325
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,458
- I'm hired? KURT:
Yeah, you are.

326
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,128
- There you go. There you go.
 TIFFANY: Oh, thank you.

327
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,997
We'll see you later. See you Monday.
Get out of here.

328
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,600
Kurt, you gotta stop hiring
hot unqualified women.

329
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,469
What's the point of being boss
if you can't stock the pond?

330
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,305
You realize you can't
sleep with these women?

331
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,441
- What?
- You're the boss. It's ***ual harassment.

332
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:44,511
Remember ***ual harassment? I tried
to kill my boss. Ring a bell?

333
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,780
I gotta fire them all now?
We just hired them.

334
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,16
You can't fire them because you're
not allowed to sleep with them.

335
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,251
Also ***ual harassment.

336
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,587
Why are we even
doing this, then?

337
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,657
All right, let's
talk dress code.

338
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,61
- Forget it.
- There is no dress code.

339
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,830
 NICK: Come on.
- You can dress however you want.

340
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,467
Whatever makes you feel comfortable...
Well, there goes a shirt. All right.

341
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,868
- It's a choice.
- Well...

342
00:16:09,35 --> 00:16:12,305
That's the wrong choice, though. Gotta
wear a shirt. That's the one...

343
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,709
He's walking away from me. He
might have been a bad hire.

344
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,251
Who's having fun, huh?

345
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,519
Hey, guys.

346
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,55
Everybody seems very happy.
This was a great idea.

347
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,591
Yeah, I know. This could
be an issue, though.

348
00:16:33,93 --> 00:16:36,329
 NICK: It is Bring Your Kids to Work
Day, not Put Your Kids to Work Day.

349
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,765
They're not working. They
consider this playing.

350
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,701
I tried to tell them to stop,
and they started crying.

351
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,738
- They have boxed 1200 units already.
- Unethical... 1200?

352
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,740
- Yeah.
- Well, that's productive, though.

353
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,742
- Yeah.
- And they seem happy.

354
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:52,712
- Let them play another ten minutes, maybe.
- I say we let them play through lunch.

355
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,647
Yeah. Legally I think
I'll change the sign.

356
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,281
Yeah.

357
00:16:59,52 --> 00:17:01,187
Oh, boy. This is it.

358
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,956
Here we go. Here we go.

359
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,106
- We did it. We're at 100,000.
- We did it?

360
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,308
- Yeah.
- Let me see.

361
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,344
 KURT: Woo-hoo-hoo!

362
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,380
 DALE: This is a great idea. KURT:
How do you think they mow this?

363
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,383
 NICK: Sure we shouldn't have called ahead?
 DALE: No. He's gonna love it.

364
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,919
Cake and balloons. Don't
think that's overdoing it?

365
00:17:33,53 --> 00:17:36,289
No. I think he's gonna be psyched
the order's done three days early.

366
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,325
I think he's gonna be flipping
out to see us out on his course.

367
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,95
I wouldn't be surprised if
he gives us a membership.

368
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,496
 DALE: Are you serious? - Yeah.

369
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,865
 DALE: Oh, my God. I want that.

370
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,2
 MAN: Yeah!

371
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,437
 DALE: Surprise. Ha, ha.

372
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,473
Sir, we finished your order and
it is ready to be shipped.

373
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,475
Excellent news.

374
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,745
We got you a little cake that says,
"Thanks for believing in us!"

375
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,181
- And some balloons of course.
- We're the "us."

376
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,817
Congratulations, boys.
What an accomplishment.

377
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,518
- Thank you.
- Thanks.

378
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,555
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to cancel that order.

379
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,989
What'd he say?

380
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,625
- Sounded like he said "cancel the order."
- What?

381
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,362
 DALE: Cancel what?
- Cancel the order.

382
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,130
Don't need it.

383
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,666
- Wait, no. That doesn't work.
- You can't do that.

384
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:22,635
- We went 500 grand in the hole.
 DALE: We were in business.

385
00:18:23,69 --> 00:18:25,271
 [WHISPERS] If you don't
buy, we are ruined.

386
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,506
It's a $500,000 order.

387
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,575
 KURT: The American dream
and all that. DALE:

388
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,210
He's gonna putt. He's
just gonna putt.

389
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,346
- He makes the putt. DALE: Can
you explain what's happening?

390
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,416
- And why you're doing this?
- Yeah, sure. Fair question.

391
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:39,352
You see, boys, in one week
your bridge loan comes due...

392
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,154
...and you won't
be able to pay it.

393
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:45,792
And your loan officer has assured
me no extension will be granted.

394
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,962
At that moment, your company
will go into foreclosure...

395
00:18:49,95 --> 00:18:52,565
...and I will buy all of those units
at auction for pennies on the dollar.

396
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,268
Cheaper than I could have
gotten them from the Chinese.

397
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,504
- Oh, my ****ing God.
- I can't believe this.

398
00:18:57,671 --> 00:19:00,407
Anyway, as an added bonus, I
will also own your patent...

399
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:04,77
...and these gentlemen here will take
over manufacturing of our new product:

400
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,578
The Shower Pal.

401
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,180
- It's a better name too.
- It is.

402
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,748
- Goddamn it.
- ****ing hell.

403
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,318
Oh, Dad, that is a hell
of a ****ing play.

404
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:16,523
We should fit these guys for crowns
because they just got ****ed royally.

405
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,724
 [GRUNTS]

406
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:23,496
Rex. No call for this MTV showboating.
They're aware of their defeat.

407
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,866
In these moments, it's more
impactful to be still.

408
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,937
What about that stuff about hard work
and starting a company in America?

409
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:33,340
- The American dream and hard work.
- All bull***?

410
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,643
You honestly think hard
work creates wealth?

411
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,111
 [CHUCKLES]

412
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,880
The only thing that
creates wealth is wealth.

413
00:19:41,14 --> 00:19:42,615
And we have it. You don't.

414
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,251
Okay. Okay. You know what?

415
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:46,453
 [KURT CLEARS THROAT]

416
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,788
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
- I got it. Hey.

417
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,625
Listen, bucko. You don't wanna
make enemies out of us, okay?

418
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,294
 [REX CHUCKLES]

419
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,130
Whoa, easy. I didn't
walk all up on you.

420
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,601
I make new enemies every day.
It's called business.

421
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:07,607
Thank you, gentlemen, for stopping by.
Have a lovely day.

422
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:08,975
Rex, get the cake.

423
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:12,812
Ow.

424
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:16,449
Rich mother****ing,
overprivileged, ****ing ********.

425
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,418
What happened to decency?

426
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,86
- I'm gonna lose my house.
- Yeah.

427
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,689
Stacy's gonna divorce me.
She's gonna marry some dude.

428
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,858
I'll have supervised
visits at McDonald's.

429
00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:25,825
****ing McDonald's.

430
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:29,129
What were we thinking? Who bets on
themselves? Why did we do that?

431
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,664
- What?
- You're the one who talked me into it.

432
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,99
I was on the fence.

433
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:37,504
We're ****ed! Our employees are ****ed.
What about them? What about Lupe?

434
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:41,474
This is just a problem. That means all
we gotta do is come up with a solution.

435
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,343
We'll put some ideas
up on the board.

436
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,246
That's what I'm talking about.
Here we go. Let's go.

437
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:49,349
- No idea's a bad idea.
- No idea's a bad idea.

438
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,184
- Who's gonna start us off?
- I got it.

439
00:20:52,18 --> 00:20:53,119
- Kurt.
- Kill these mother****ers.

440
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,355
- No, no.
- Murder! Yes.

441
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,757
- You don't need to write that down.
- Kill them.

442
00:20:57,891 --> 00:20:59,826
Let's ****ing kill them!
I want them dead!

443
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:00,460
Kill them.

444
00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:04,264
- We open up their brains and shove them...
- Then we **** the skulls!

445
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,667
- I'm getting that taste, Nick.
- They're ****ing dead!

446
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:11,137
- We're ****ing doing it again!
- That's the Chicago way!

447
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,740
- Chicago way! KURT: Cut them open.
I want his family dead.

448
00:21:13,907 --> 00:21:16,676
I want his house burned down,
and I'll get a baseball bat.

449
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,347
- Come on, man, come on.
- **** their skulls!

450
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,715
- Come on.
- Come on.

451
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,718
We'll ****ing kill them.

452
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:27,821
If we've learned one thing about
ourselves, it's that we're not murderers.

453
00:21:28,21 --> 00:21:30,724
- How does killing them get us our money?
- What do you mean?

454
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,493
You harvest their organs, sell
them on the black market.

455
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,763
Be ****ing serious. Come on. This
is not helpful. Think seriously.

456
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,466
You're right. There's other
things people have done.

457
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,67
- There's plots.
- For money.

458
00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:44,671
- The plot of the movie Speed.
- Yes, there you go. Put a bomb on a bus.

459
00:21:44,838 --> 00:21:48,308
So we'll rig a bus so that when it goes
below 50 miles an hour, it blows up.

460
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:51,111
- What the **** is that?
- You said no idea was a bad idea.

461
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:54,80
I was wrong. That idea sucks,
the movie sucks and so do you.

462
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,583
That movie introduced
us to Sandy Bullock.

463
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:59,352
**** you! I love Sandra Bullock!
I'm running hot.

464
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:02,589
I'm sorry. I'm running hot. The
whole ****ing thing's got me upset.

465
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:04,724
Give me the marker,
I'll get a better idea.

466
00:22:04,858 --> 00:22:07,394
Want the marker? Give me
$500,000, that's what we need.

467
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,63
- Gonna hold the marker ransom?
 NICK: Call it what you want.

468
00:22:10,230 --> 00:22:14,100
I need a half a million dollars. I don't
need *** ideas and a bunch of hot air.

469
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:15,835
Come on.

470
00:22:15,969 --> 00:22:17,437
Dale.

471
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,510
- Boom. Marker drop.
- "Kidnaping."

472
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:24,678
- That's "kidnapping."

473
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,780
- With one more P it is.
That's "kidnaping."

474
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,982
However the **** you spell it.
You know what

475
00:22:29,15 --> 00:22:30,850
I'm talking about. Kidnapping.
Come on.

476
00:22:30,984 --> 00:22:33,186
Wait a second. That's
a ****ing great idea.

477
00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:35,422
Think about it. First
of all, we kidnap Rex.

478
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:37,390
- We get money from Bert.
- Ransom money.

479
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:38,558
We save the business.

480
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:39,693
No one has to die.

481
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,795
- Nobody gets hurt.
- He is the kid of Bert.

482
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,463
Right, but he's not super young.

483
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:46,766
- So it's not super douchey and ***.
- It's not all molesty and ***.

484
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,969
What do you know about
executing a kidnapping?

485
00:22:50,103 --> 00:22:52,706
- What do you mean? You just...
- You get zip ties.

486
00:22:53,73 --> 00:22:54,941
You don't know ***
about kidnapping.

487
00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:58,511
Okay, we don't know a ton. But I
bet we know someone that does.

488
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:01,348
- Who?
- Mother****er Jones.

489
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:04,84
- Oh, Jesus.
- Wouldn't it be good to see him?

490
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:08,988
We're not gonna go see Mother****er Jones
because we're not gonna "kidnape" anyone.

491
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:12,125
Come on, this guy's a
master business prick.

492
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:14,994
He's at the top of his game.
We need to figure out...

493
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,632
Boy, look what we got.

494
00:23:21,0 --> 00:23:22,68
Is that a Sharpie?

495
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:25,5
- Hang on. What was a Sharpie doing there?
- You put it there.

496
00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:26,172
I did put it on there.

497
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:29,175
- You're in charge of marker distribution.
- I know I'm the marker guy.

498
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:30,944
Permanently on the board now.

499
00:23:31,111 --> 00:23:35,515
This illustrates my point, idiots. We
need to find somebody who's legitimate.

500
00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:39,152
We need to find someone who
can get us our company back.

501
00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:55,669
Hello, Nick...

502
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,404
...guy who saved my life...

503
00:23:57,971 --> 00:23:59,406
...guy who ****ed my wife.

504
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:02,475
It was a blow job. It was a blow job, only.
Didn't **** her.

505
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:03,877
You got my e-mail?

506
00:24:04,10 --> 00:24:07,13
I did. And I was
very amused by it.

507
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:10,383
I know Bert Hanson. I
like the cut of his jib.

508
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:13,19
And I admire the way he
bent you three idiots

509
00:24:13,19 --> 00:24:15,388
over a barrel and showed
you the 50 states.

510
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:18,58
- Ah. See? Told you it was a saying.
- Wow.

511
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:21,528
Now, Nick, just
tell me something.

512
00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,798
Why would you start
production...

513
00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:28,702
...without at least a guarantee
of 35 percent down...

514
00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:30,870
...to cover manufacturing costs?

515
00:24:31,37 --> 00:24:34,240
 [CHUCKLING] I mean, why
would you do that?

516
00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:36,776
- Is he telling a joke?
- Is something funny?

517
00:24:38,345 --> 00:24:41,314
Uh, we assumed that we were dealing
with somebody who was ethical...

518
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:45,452
No, that's the wrong answer.
The right answer is because...

519
00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:49,189
...you're all ****ing morons.

520
00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:53,393
Boy, he shined a light on that, didn't he?
That's true. You're absolutely right.

521
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,161
You thought I was
such a bad boss.

522
00:24:55,295 --> 00:24:58,665
But, I don't know, I think running
your own company into the ground...

523
00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:03,269
...ruining the livelihood of your employees
is maybe a bit worse. What do you think?

524
00:25:03,436 --> 00:25:04,137
That's fair.

525
00:25:04,137 --> 00:25:06,272
Should I be on the phone
if I'm taking notes?

526
00:25:06,439 --> 00:25:10,310
- I'm not getting any of what he's saying.
- It's just a lot of rhetorical questions.

527
00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:12,379
So, what do you
want from me, Nick?

528
00:25:12,946 --> 00:25:16,483
With all due respect, you know
what makes a guy like that tick.

529
00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:19,919
So if you could give us some advice
on how to get our money back...

530
00:25:20,53 --> 00:25:23,990
...I will play real nice at your next
parole hearing. How does that sound?

531
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,794
-  [WHISPERING] You would do that for me?
- Yes, I would.

532
00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:31,64
Okay. I think I can help you.

533
00:25:31,231 --> 00:25:34,134
He's gonna help? Okay, I got a notepad.
I got a notepad.

534
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:35,702
From a legal standpoint...

535
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:37,3
"Legal standpoint."

536
00:25:37,137 --> 00:25:38,705
...your options are...

537
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,640
- "Options are..."
- Legal options.

538
00:25:40,774 --> 00:25:43,143
...jack ****ing ***.

539
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:45,545
I heard "Jack Leibowitz."
Is that an attorney?

540
00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:48,214
- I'll write that down.
- Can we get his contact info?

541
00:25:48,782 --> 00:25:51,785
Even if you had the money to
fight him in the courts...

542
00:25:51,951 --> 00:25:55,221
...his lawyers are just gonna
file motions and continuances...

543
00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:59,25
...long after you three
pissant little ****ups...

544
00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:01,194
...have blown your tiny
little brains out.

545
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:02,896
You saying nothing can be done?

546
00:26:03,63 --> 00:26:05,198
No, I said there's
nothing you can do.

547
00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:08,768
There's plenty that could be
done, but you won't do it.

548
00:26:08,902 --> 00:26:11,838
- And do you wanna know why?
- No, not really.

549
00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:15,108
- Because you have no balls.
- I see.

550
00:26:15,275 --> 00:26:17,110
And your fathers had no balls.

551
00:26:17,277 --> 00:26:20,246
You are all a product of
generations of ball-less men...

552
00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:23,917
...who were too weak or too frightened
to stand up and take what was theirs.

553
00:26:24,50 --> 00:26:26,586
And one day, you will pass on...

554
00:26:26,786 --> 00:26:31,624
...your empty, shriveled sacs
to your own pitiful offspring.

555
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:34,661
- I can't hear. What is he talking about?
- Our nut sacs, mostly.

556
00:26:34,828 --> 00:26:35,829
How'd that come up?

557
00:26:35,995 --> 00:26:38,965
- Why don't you pitch him the kidnapping?
- Let the kidnapping go.

558
00:26:39,99 --> 00:26:41,768
 DALE: Pitch him the kidnapping.
- Show some balls, all right?

559
00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,436
Wanna see balls? Kidnap someone.

560
00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:46,239
You'll end up in here. You'll see
plenty of balls on your forehead.

561
00:26:46,373 --> 00:26:48,241
 KURT: Mm.
- Why are they on my forehead?

562
00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:50,543
- Was the **** on top of my head?
 KURT: Makes no sense.

563
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:51,578
Oh, I'm upside down.

564
00:26:51,578 --> 00:26:53,480
You sure are. Your
face is getting ****ed.

565
00:27:00,587 --> 00:27:01,821
Mother****er.

566
00:27:09,996 --> 00:27:15,68
Mm-hm. So y'all plan to use the
ransom to save your business.

567
00:27:15,235 --> 00:27:17,671
- Exactly, yeah. That's it.
- That's what we're hoping.

568
00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:20,707
Will you tell these idiots
how stupid that is, please?

569
00:27:21,74 --> 00:27:22,108
Ah. I like it.

570
00:27:22,275 --> 00:27:23,777
- Nice. See?
- I knew he'd like it.

571
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:26,746
You're doing what you need to
to keep your business going.

572
00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:29,349
I had a dream for a long
time to get my own business.

573
00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:30,517
Yeah.

574
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:33,186
I wanted to open
my own Pinkberry.

575
00:27:33,353 --> 00:27:35,388
 DALE: Ha, ha.
- What the **** is the chuckles about?

576
00:27:35,522 --> 00:27:37,190
Oh, I thought you were joking.

577
00:27:37,357 --> 00:27:41,127
See how many crackers line up to get that
Captain Crunch-covered freezing ***?

578
00:27:41,261 --> 00:27:43,163
I eat it three times a week.
I love Pinkberry.

579
00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:44,64
Hey, that's awesome.

580
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:46,299
- You like Pinkberry?
- I'm lactose intolerant.

581
00:27:46,466 --> 00:27:48,501
 KURT: Right.
- You got an African-American belly?

582
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:51,938
- Because black people suffer from lactose.
- Oh, okay, good, well...

583
00:27:52,105 --> 00:27:54,441
- We got some kind of kinship.
- Yeah, cool, man.

584
00:27:54,641 --> 00:27:56,309
- Stool soft?
- It can be.

585
00:27:56,476 --> 00:27:59,145
- Bottom tender.
- Yeah, bottom's fine.

586
00:27:59,312 --> 00:28:02,349
If somebody took my Pinkberry, I
wouldn't take that sitting down.

587
00:28:02,549 --> 00:28:05,452
- You would fight.
- I will cut a mother****er in half.

588
00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:09,322
You wouldn't kidnap someone because
you can't successfully pull it off.

589
00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:11,524
Name me a kidnapping movie...

590
00:28:11,658 --> 00:28:14,761
...where the kidnappers weren't
dead or incarcerated at the end.

591
00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:16,429
- 9 to 5, *******.
- 9 to 5.

592
00:28:16,596 --> 00:28:19,265
- Name me two movies, then.
- You said name one.

593
00:28:19,432 --> 00:28:22,435
- I nailed one right on you.
- 9 to 5 was this movie...

594
00:28:22,569 --> 00:28:26,272
I know what the **** 9 to 5 is. It's about
the white ***** with the big titties.

595
00:28:26,439 --> 00:28:28,541
- Yeah. JONES: She got old,
the titties stayed young.

596
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,877
I'm not gonna kidnap
someone based on 9 to 5.

597
00:28:31,11 --> 00:28:33,780
- That's because you Jane Fonda.
- You're the scaredy-cat one.

598
00:28:33,947 --> 00:28:36,750
You're always the last to man up.
You're dragging your feet.

599
00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:39,486
Why are you here if you're
not gonna participate?

600
00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:42,655
First of all, if anyone, I'm the smart one.
I'm Lily Tomlin.

601
00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:46,393
- But I won't have this conversation.
- Please, I'm Lily Tomlin, if anybody is.

602
00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:49,162
Sitting in the big chair, giving David O.
Russell ***.

603
00:28:49,329 --> 00:28:51,398
Yeah, he's got the 'tude.
You're Fonda, man.

604
00:28:51,431 --> 00:28:52,365
You're Jane Fonda.

605
00:28:52,499 --> 00:28:56,569
- That makes you Dolly Parton.
- Great. Woman's got her own theme park.

606
00:28:56,703 --> 00:28:59,105
- She's a national treasure.
- Two national treasures.

607
00:28:59,272 --> 00:29:01,574
Can I pose a question
to you colonizers?

608
00:29:02,542 --> 00:29:03,877
Happened a long time ago.

609
00:29:04,277 --> 00:29:07,313
How do you kidnap somebody
without them knowing...

610
00:29:07,614 --> 00:29:09,315
...they've been kidnapped?

611
00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:12,986
- Okay.
- You smarten up, and you don't even do it.

612
00:29:13,153 --> 00:29:15,955
- He's a black sphinx. I like it.
- He threw a riddle our way.

613
00:29:16,289 --> 00:29:18,558
- How do you...?
- Voodoo. Voodoo?

614
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,660
I can give you the answers.

615
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:24,30
- Fifty thousand.
- No.

616
00:29:24,197 --> 00:29:25,632
- We can't.
- Six hundred?

617
00:29:26,66 --> 00:29:27,901
You should not run a Pinkberry.
Sorry.

618
00:29:28,68 --> 00:29:30,603
- The weirdest negotiating style.
- We don't have money.

619
00:29:30,737 --> 00:29:34,374
You know, we're here because we
have zero dollars. We're broke.

620
00:29:34,708 --> 00:29:35,942
**** it. Give me the watch.

621
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,444
- Nope.
- Give him your watch.

622
00:29:37,577 --> 00:29:39,813
I'm not giving him this.
This is a Tag Heuer.

623
00:29:39,813 --> 00:29:41,448
This is a wrist
without a watch.

624
00:29:41,581 --> 00:29:44,417
Come on. It's just material things.
Can't take it with you.

625
00:29:44,584 --> 00:29:47,53
You can borrow it while you
tell us a ***ty plan.

626
00:29:48,421 --> 00:29:49,589
All right.

627
00:29:50,223 --> 00:29:51,458
 [JONES CLEARS THROAT]

628
00:29:52,292 --> 00:29:54,761
Slip him a mickey.

629
00:29:54,894 --> 00:29:56,896
Give me the watch back.

630
00:29:57,63 --> 00:29:58,598
You sneak into his
crib at night.

631
00:29:58,798 --> 00:30:01,835
Find out whatever his beverage of
choice is before he goes to bed.

632
00:30:02,2 --> 00:30:05,505
You slip the mickey in the beverage.
Knock him out nice and easy.

633
00:30:05,672 --> 00:30:08,742
And you keep that *****
sedated until Daddy pays up.

634
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:11,544
It's not a crazy idea, but
it's not worth a Swiss watch.

635
00:30:11,711 --> 00:30:12,479
That could work.

636
00:30:12,512 --> 00:30:14,547
Hmm. That's great.
That makes total sense.

637
00:30:14,714 --> 00:30:18,18
- He doesn't see our faces. KURT:
We're ghosts. We don't even exist.

638
00:30:18,218 --> 00:30:22,22
- When you say "mickey... "?
- A date-rape drug. Where do you get those?

639
00:30:22,222 --> 00:30:24,424
- Where do I get them?
- Uh... Yeah.

640
00:30:24,591 --> 00:30:27,761
Because of the hue of my skin I
know where to get date-rape drugs?

641
00:30:27,961 --> 00:30:30,997
- You brought up the date-raping.
- You got N word in your eyes.

642
00:30:31,131 --> 00:30:33,500
- Why are your eyes saying the N word?
- Klan eyes.

643
00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:36,2
- You've got Klan eyes. JONES:
You ever take a eye test?

644
00:30:36,136 --> 00:30:37,837
- Yes.
- All you pick out is the K.

645
00:30:37,971 --> 00:30:39,839
- I see every letter.
- He does have Klan eyes.

646
00:30:39,973 --> 00:30:42,142
You can see them poking
out behind that sheet.

647
00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:44,744
It's just ridic... I can't...
It's so upsetting.

648
00:30:44,744 --> 00:30:46,146
Let me ask you a question.

649
00:30:46,312 --> 00:30:49,916
When you got raped by Julia, what did
she use to knock you out? Laughing gas?

650
00:30:50,50 --> 00:30:51,217
- Oh, right.
- That'll work.

651
00:30:51,418 --> 00:30:53,720
 NICK: That's interesting.
- You have keys to the office?

652
00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:55,355
- No, but I know the code.
- Yes.

653
00:30:55,955 --> 00:30:57,590
 DALE: Okay. You did it again.

654
00:30:57,757 --> 00:31:00,527
- For the record, I am not racist.
- You're the best. Thanks.

655
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,429
- Let's go. See you.
- Good to see you.

656
00:31:02,595 --> 00:31:05,498
Surprisingly helpful. Any way
I can get the watch back?

657
00:31:05,665 --> 00:31:08,1
**** out of here, Jane Fonda.

658
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:15,909
 KURT: That's a tough one. And you
can't **** all three, right?

659
00:31:16,76 --> 00:31:17,911
 NICK: You cannot.
- Not the game. Okay.

660
00:31:18,78 --> 00:31:21,915
Well, then I would marry Peter,
kill Bobby, and **** Greg.

661
00:31:22,82 --> 00:31:23,483
- That's what I'd do too.
- Yeah?

662
00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:26,386
- I think that's the only way to play it.
- It makes sense.

663
00:31:26,586 --> 00:31:28,154
- How'd you do?
- I did great.

664
00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:31,424
I got extra supplies. I think we
gotta be more careful this time.

665
00:31:31,591 --> 00:31:32,559
Absolutely. So smart.

666
00:31:32,592 --> 00:31:34,627
I got a magazine to
cut up the ransom note.

667
00:31:34,794 --> 00:31:36,529
- Can't be writing it by hand.
- Smart.

668
00:31:36,663 --> 00:31:37,731
Bride Again Magazine?

669
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:39,966
To throw the cops off
if they start snooping

670
00:31:39,966 --> 00:31:41,968
to figure out where the
letters came from.

671
00:31:42,102 --> 00:31:44,237
- Dora the Explorer walkie-talkies?
 KURT: Awesome.

672
00:31:44,371 --> 00:31:46,673
It's not a spy store.
It's a convenience store.

673
00:31:46,706 --> 00:31:48,341
Didn't wanna just
use our phones?

674
00:31:48,508 --> 00:31:52,212
Let's use our phones. They make a record
of everything that we say and do.

675
00:31:52,379 --> 00:31:54,381
- Do you watch the news?
- My apologies.

676
00:31:54,547 --> 00:31:56,683
Hey, Obama. I'm breaking
into my old office.

677
00:31:56,850 --> 00:31:59,486
It's just the three of us doing
this, not us and the NSA.

678
00:31:59,619 --> 00:32:01,287
- I'm trying to help us out.
 KURT: Heh.

679
00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:03,423
- Did you get scissors?
 DALE: I got some scissors.

680
00:32:03,590 --> 00:32:07,193
- I don't see any latex gloves in here.
- They're, like, super expensive.

681
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,695
- How much?
- Nine bucks a pair.

682
00:32:08,862 --> 00:32:10,96
- That's ridiculous.
- Right?

683
00:32:10,263 --> 00:32:12,399
It's the only thing you
went in there to buy.

684
00:32:12,399 --> 00:32:14,300
She's got a ton of
gloves in her office.

685
00:32:14,501 --> 00:32:15,568
We'll just use those.

686
00:32:15,702 --> 00:32:18,471
You need them to get inside, so
we don't leave fingerprints.

687
00:32:18,638 --> 00:32:20,940
That's right. You dummy.
Don't you know that?

688
00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:23,877
Know what we can do? We can
use my golf gloves in my bag.

689
00:32:24,10 --> 00:32:25,612
He's got gloves in his golf bag.

690
00:32:25,745 --> 00:32:28,348
Don't poke holes in everything.
I'm trying to help out.

691
00:32:28,515 --> 00:32:30,583
- Guys, the team's back together.
 DALE: Ha, ha! Whoo!

692
00:32:30,650 --> 00:32:31,785
I call lookout.

693
00:32:31,985 --> 00:32:34,387
And I will let you
know if I see Swiper.

694
00:32:37,857 --> 00:32:38,925
 [LOCK CLICKS]

695
00:32:39,59 --> 00:32:41,61
Nice. Let's go.

696
00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:47,133
NICK  [OVER RADIO]: How
we doing in there, guys?

697
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:48,668
I got it. I got it. I got it.

698
00:32:48,835 --> 00:32:50,837
All good. How are
things out there, Nick?

699
00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:54,674
Things are good. Hey, can you not
say my name over the radio, please?

700
00:32:55,175 --> 00:32:58,178
 KURT: Why not?
- Could be somebody on the frequency.

701
00:32:58,511 --> 00:33:00,380
 KURT: Oh, yeah. It's a good point.
Very smart.

702
00:33:00,547 --> 00:33:02,916
There you go. That's using
the old Hendricks brain.

703
00:33:03,49 --> 00:33:04,818
And there's the last name.

704
00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:07,420
- We should come up with code names.
- Absolutely.

705
00:33:07,587 --> 00:33:11,791
- Nick, where you landing on code names?
- I'd love it if you'd stop saying my name.

706
00:33:11,958 --> 00:33:14,327
- Just get the gas and get out here.
 DALE: Roger that.

707
00:33:16,629 --> 00:33:18,665
The Blade has
acquired the target.

708
00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:21,468
- Was that "The Blade"? KURT: Mm-hm.
That's my code name, Nick.

709
00:33:21,801 --> 00:33:24,537
We don't need code names.
Everybody knows who's talking.

710
00:33:24,738 --> 00:33:27,674
 DALE: They're sounding pretty cool,
so let's try to land on a couple.

711
00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:30,510
I'm gonna think up one real
quick and lay it on you.

712
00:33:30,977 --> 00:33:35,515
Uh, I'm coming in at you with The Majestic
Lion. I'm gonna be The Majestic Lion.

713
00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:36,783
 KURT: Now we're talking.

714
00:33:36,950 --> 00:33:38,918
Not gonna call you that.

715
00:33:39,52 --> 00:33:42,22
 DALE: That's a bummer there. I'm
gonna need a reason as to why.

716
00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:45,158
Because you're not a jungle
cat, and it's stupid as ***.

717
00:33:45,358 --> 00:33:46,626
- Fair point.
- Good catch.

718
00:33:46,793 --> 00:33:48,461
Uh, we should come
up with one for him.

719
00:33:48,628 --> 00:33:51,865
 KURT: How about St. Nick?
- You've said my name four ****ing times.

720
00:33:52,65 --> 00:33:54,501
If you could come back out
to the car, we can go home.

721
00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:56,503
 DALE: You know what? What
if I drop the "Lion"?

722
00:33:56,670 --> 00:33:57,704
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

723
00:33:57,871 --> 00:34:00,240
- Somebody's here. Somebody's here.
 DALE: Just The Majestic?

724
00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:02,242
I love that. I like that.

725
00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:07,547
Shut up about the code names. A bunch of
people just pulled up into the parking lot.

726
00:34:08,81 --> 00:34:10,750
Hello. Get your thumb
off the butt...

727
00:34:15,789 --> 00:34:17,524
Oh, my God.

728
00:34:19,693 --> 00:34:23,663
Real hot chick just pulled
into Julia's parking spot.

729
00:34:24,597 --> 00:34:26,633
I think Julia's headed
into the building.

730
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,636
If you'd get your thumb off
the ****ing button and...

731
00:34:29,769 --> 00:34:32,105
Ah, ****. ****ing idiots.

732
00:34:32,272 --> 00:34:35,909
Well, you know what? It's not my fault.
It's not my goddamn fault.

733
00:34:36,109 --> 00:34:38,878
I haven't done a thing illegal.
I can just drive out of here.

734
00:34:39,79 --> 00:34:41,514
I can just drive right home.

735
00:34:42,615 --> 00:34:44,918
No, I can't do that.
I can't do that.

736
00:34:45,51 --> 00:34:47,354
They'll just ****ing tell on me.

737
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,191
All right, we're on our way to you.
Chickens have left the pot. My God, my God.

738
00:34:51,358 --> 00:34:52,492
- The coop, I think.
- What?

739
00:34:52,692 --> 00:34:54,794
The "my God, my God" does
sounds like a thing.

740
00:34:54,961 --> 00:34:56,629
 KURT: Oh, ***.

741
00:35:04,738 --> 00:35:06,506
 [CHATTERING]

742
00:35:07,941 --> 00:35:11,644
Why don't you set the food up over there?
And we'll circle these chairs around.

743
00:35:17,350 --> 00:35:18,918
Dale?

744
00:35:19,853 --> 00:35:21,554
Kurt.

745
00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:25,625
 [MIMICS BIRD CAWING]

746
00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:28,795
 ALL: God, grant us...

747
00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:30,997
Oh, ***. It's a cult.
It's a ****ing cult.

748
00:35:31,131 --> 00:35:33,466
 ALL:... about our *** addiction
that we cannot change...

749
00:35:33,666 --> 00:35:36,2
- *** addiction.
- It's a *** addiction. Yeah.

750
00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:37,137
Neat.

751
00:35:41,708 --> 00:35:44,310
So proud of you, every one of
you, for being here today.

752
00:35:44,511 --> 00:35:45,845
***.

753
00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:48,314
 [SIGHS]

754
00:35:56,423 --> 00:35:57,824
How's it going?

755
00:35:57,991 --> 00:36:00,393
Hi. It's going, uh...

756
00:36:01,361 --> 00:36:02,495
Whew, you know.

757
00:36:05,131 --> 00:36:06,199
I'm in trouble.

758
00:36:07,33 --> 00:36:09,436
- Save it.
- Okay.

759
00:36:09,969 --> 00:36:11,738
...Something that happened
to them this week.

760
00:36:11,871 --> 00:36:13,206
 [DOOR OPENS]

761
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:16,276
Found this gentleman
loitering out in your hall.

762
00:36:16,409 --> 00:36:18,78
Oh, ***. Nick got busted.

763
00:36:18,211 --> 00:36:20,313
 COP: Says he knows
he's in trouble.

764
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,350
- Yeah.
- We're all in trouble.

765
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:26,953
You don't have to be afraid.
You're safe here.

766
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,388
Okay.

767
00:36:28,555 --> 00:36:30,724
Sorry I'm late.
What's up, brother?

768
00:36:30,857 --> 00:36:31,858
 [MAN CLEARS THROAT]

769
00:36:32,25 --> 00:36:35,762
Toby, why don't you grab a chair and bring
it in so this young man can join us?

770
00:36:35,895 --> 00:36:37,864
Yeah, um...

771
00:36:38,798 --> 00:36:41,67
- Boy, uh...
- What's your name, honey?

772
00:36:42,102 --> 00:36:44,404
I am, um...

773
00:36:48,675 --> 00:36:50,443
I am Blanston.

774
00:36:50,777 --> 00:36:53,513
 ALL: Hi, Blanston. - Hi.

775
00:36:53,713 --> 00:36:55,148
For a guy not into code names...

776
00:36:55,315 --> 00:36:56,416
- Big swing.
- Bold choice.

777
00:36:56,616 --> 00:36:57,717
- And I love it.
- Yeah.

778
00:36:57,851 --> 00:37:01,154
It's nice to have fresh
blood in the group.

779
00:37:01,187 --> 00:37:02,389
Appreciate it.

780
00:37:02,622 --> 00:37:04,624
- Fresh, cute blood.
- Hey.

781
00:37:04,791 --> 00:37:09,462
Easy, Julia. Blanston, would you like to
share with us what's led you into recovery?

782
00:37:09,629 --> 00:37:15,402
Ah. Well, okay. I do
have a very big problem.

783
00:37:18,438 --> 00:37:20,674
- I have to piss. I'm nervous. I'm sorry.
- Shh.

784
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,176
- Go, go, just pee.
- It's gonna make too much noise.

785
00:37:23,309 --> 00:37:26,46
No, no, just dip your
**** into the toilet.

786
00:37:26,212 --> 00:37:28,615
- Oh, sit down and do it? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

787
00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:29,749
 [DALE UNZIPS FLY]

788
00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:31,518
 DALE: It doesn't reach. - What?

789
00:37:31,685 --> 00:37:33,853
 DALE: It doesn't reach.
Should it reach?

790
00:37:34,20 --> 00:37:36,656
I mean, I don't know if
it's about "should," but...

791
00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:38,958
 DALE: I'll put the seat up.
- Yeah, put the seat up...

792
00:37:39,159 --> 00:37:41,94
...and just dip your butt in the bowl.
 DALE: Oh, my God.

793
00:37:41,227 --> 00:37:42,662
 [DALE URINATING]

794
00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:43,863
There we go.

795
00:37:44,30 --> 00:37:45,98
 [TOILET FLUSHES]

796
00:37:45,231 --> 00:37:46,299
Shh! Shh! Shh!

797
00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:48,1
- Oh, ***, sorry.
- Shh! It's okay.

798
00:37:48,168 --> 00:37:50,3
- Sorry, I always flush.
- It's all right.

799
00:37:50,170 --> 00:37:51,705
Okay, I'm just gonna
wash my hands.

800
00:37:51,871 --> 00:37:53,740
- No. Why are you gonna wash your hands?
- Huh?

801
00:37:53,873 --> 00:37:55,175
- Why?
- I always wash my hands.

802
00:37:55,308 --> 00:37:57,444
- You have gloves on.
- Stuff gets under there.

803
00:37:57,644 --> 00:38:01,314
- Fine, just be quiet. Okay, okay.
- Let me just wash them. I'll feel better.

804
00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:02,549
 [WATER RUNNING]

805
00:38:02,716 --> 00:38:03,783
Shh.

806
00:38:03,917 --> 00:38:05,85
 [PAPER TOWELS RUSTLING]

807
00:38:05,285 --> 00:38:06,619
Oh, my God, Dale, stop.

808
00:38:06,753 --> 00:38:09,656
There's literally no element of
sneak in anything you're doing.

809
00:38:09,789 --> 00:38:11,758
 DALE: It's gross not to.
 KURT: I gotta go now too.

810
00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:13,893
- You gotta go?
- Yeah.

811
00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:18,331
 [KURT URINATING]

812
00:38:18,498 --> 00:38:19,499
 [KURT WHISTLING]

813
00:38:19,632 --> 00:38:21,201
Do you golf with
the other hand...?

814
00:38:21,368 --> 00:38:22,268
Don't whistle.

815
00:38:22,268 --> 00:38:25,5
I have to. The only way
to get this train going.

816
00:38:25,205 --> 00:38:26,706
 [WHISTLING CONTINUES]

817
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,909
Shh, Shh, Shh!

818
00:38:32,245 --> 00:38:33,246
 [TOILET FLUSHES]

819
00:38:33,413 --> 00:38:34,814
 KURT: Listen...
- Why did you flush?

820
00:38:34,881 --> 00:38:35,882
- It just happens.
- Why?

821
00:38:36,49 --> 00:38:38,351
- It's a good habit.
- ***.

822
00:38:38,518 --> 00:38:39,886
 [WATER RUNNING]

823
00:38:40,53 --> 00:38:41,921
 [PAPER TOWELS RUSTLING]

824
00:38:42,88 --> 00:38:43,656
Shh!

825
00:38:44,357 --> 00:38:45,692
 [CLANGS]

826
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,295
- What is...?
- ***. She's coming. Hide.

827
00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:51,865
But there was once, though.
There was once...

828
00:38:51,998 --> 00:38:57,203
Oh, boy. If this is safe in here, I'd
love to shake this out and share it.

829
00:38:57,370 --> 00:38:59,406
Something must've happened.
Don't fall on me.

830
00:38:59,572 --> 00:39:02,375
 KURT: Don't worry. I took a parkour
class at the community center.

831
00:39:05,945 --> 00:39:08,481
Mm. Let's get you prepped
for a fill-n-drill.

832
00:39:08,515 --> 00:39:09,349
Let's do it.

833
00:39:09,516 --> 00:39:12,419
- Ever done it in a dentist's chair?
- I always wanted to nail my dentist.

834
00:39:12,519 --> 00:39:15,355
- He's a man.
- I'll make you forget all about him.

835
00:39:15,522 --> 00:39:19,526
Why don't you go get the chair ready? I'm
gonna visit the men's room real quick.

836
00:39:19,726 --> 00:39:21,27
Oh, you can do that on me.

837
00:39:21,194 --> 00:39:24,164
Oh. Uh, well, it's a...

838
00:39:25,165 --> 00:39:26,199
And...?

839
00:39:26,366 --> 00:39:30,337
Hmm. Well, uh, first time on the slopes,
so I'm gonna stay off the black diamond.

840
00:39:30,937 --> 00:39:32,372
Either way.

841
00:39:34,74 --> 00:39:37,744
- You guys are so noisy. Let's go.
 KURT: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

842
00:39:37,911 --> 00:39:40,46
Congrats. I'm so proud
of you for coming out.

843
00:39:40,213 --> 00:39:42,582
- I'm not gay. I'll be right out, okay?
- Come on.

844
00:39:42,749 --> 00:39:46,720
I think it'll be a little suspicious if I
disappear. Gonna complete the diversion.

845
00:39:46,853 --> 00:39:48,521
- We gotta go.
- Thought you were gay.

846
00:39:48,655 --> 00:39:50,790
I'm not gay. Go on, go on.
I'll be right out.

847
00:39:51,191 --> 00:39:53,393
Oh. I get it. You're bi.

848
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,961
I'm not bi.

849
00:39:55,95 --> 00:39:56,363
Not bi?

850
00:39:57,30 --> 00:40:00,367
 DALE: Do you have, uh, an S?
I need an S. KURT: S, yes.

851
00:40:00,734 --> 00:40:03,236
- How's that?
- Uh, do you have a scarier S than that?

852
00:40:03,403 --> 00:40:06,906
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, here. This is
from an article about bridezillas.

853
00:40:07,73 --> 00:40:10,443
Yeah, that'll do it. Okay, can I
read you what I got right now?

854
00:40:10,643 --> 00:40:12,712
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- Okay.

855
00:40:12,879 --> 00:40:14,714
 [IN SINISTER VOICE]
"Give us the $500,000..

856
00:40:14,881 --> 00:40:16,383
...or the little boy dies.

857
00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:17,617
 [KURT CHUCKLES]

858
00:40:17,784 --> 00:40:21,121
You have 24 hours."

859
00:40:21,454 --> 00:40:24,224
I wish you were there to read it.
Sounds scary in that voice.

860
00:40:24,391 --> 00:40:25,959
That's why I wanted
scary letters.

861
00:40:26,159 --> 00:40:28,728
Hopefully he's hearing a voice
like that when he reads.

862
00:40:28,862 --> 00:40:30,830
But why "little boy"?
Makes him sound 6.

863
00:40:30,864 --> 00:40:33,66
Don't wanna be like,
"Or the grown man dies."

864
00:40:33,233 --> 00:40:35,602
- You're right. No, absolutely.
- It's not even...

865
00:40:35,735 --> 00:40:38,104
All right, glue stick, and
I'm gonna lock this in.

866
00:40:38,104 --> 00:40:38,972
Oh, great, yeah.

867
00:40:39,105 --> 00:40:41,875
- First draft, final draft, right?
 KURT: How about that? Nice job.

868
00:40:42,42 --> 00:40:43,443
God, I tell you what.

869
00:40:43,643 --> 00:40:47,914
I hope this doesn't sound ****y. I
think we're really good at this.

870
00:40:48,81 --> 00:40:49,315
We're extremely good at it.

871
00:40:49,482 --> 00:40:53,219
I didn't wanna say anything,
but way better than murder.

872
00:40:53,586 --> 00:40:54,587
- A lot better than murder.
- We found our groove.

873
00:40:54,754 --> 00:40:56,122
- This is fun.
- It is kind of fun.

874
00:40:56,156 --> 00:40:57,190
 [DOOR OPENS]

875
00:40:57,390 --> 00:40:59,759
- Nobody gets hurt.
- I always wanted to make a ransom note.

876
00:40:59,859 --> 00:41:01,761
- All here. Let's go.
- Ah!

877
00:41:01,895 --> 00:41:05,65
Son of a *****. I knew I should've
been gluing them as I went along.

878
00:41:05,265 --> 00:41:06,433
 NICK: Ah. KURT: Oy, oy, oy.

879
00:41:06,599 --> 00:41:09,402
Hey. Hey. Talk to me.
How was it?

880
00:41:09,536 --> 00:41:11,838
It was like something I've
just never encountered.

881
00:41:12,38 --> 00:41:13,73
What, uh, a woman?

882
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:14,274
 [KURT CHUCKLES]

883
00:41:14,441 --> 00:41:17,677
I mean, she's so free. She's
so eloquent with her body.

884
00:41:17,844 --> 00:41:20,480
I mean, all of that
***ual energy...

885
00:41:20,613 --> 00:41:24,384
...it flows from this place
of deep tenderness, you know?

886
00:41:24,551 --> 00:41:26,19
It's called her ******, Nick.

887
00:41:26,19 --> 00:41:28,455
Please don't talk like that.
Come on, let's go.

888
00:41:28,621 --> 00:41:30,156
Listen. He's being
so protective.

889
00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:34,227
You're talking like you fell in love with
her. What, are you in love with her, Nick?

890
00:41:35,462 --> 00:41:36,529
No, Dale.

891
00:41:36,663 --> 00:41:39,966
- That was a real long pause right there.
- That was a moment of silence.

892
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:41,868
I'm not in love with her.
That's ridiculous.

893
00:41:42,1 --> 00:41:45,305
She gave me a very rich
and positive experience.

894
00:41:45,472 --> 00:41:47,640
 KURT: Oh, yeah? Better
than wrestling camp?

895
00:41:57,117 --> 00:41:59,419
 NICK: Oh, boy. Nice house.

896
00:41:59,586 --> 00:42:01,955
Well, he's doing well.

897
00:42:02,122 --> 00:42:03,223
Good for him.

898
00:42:03,390 --> 00:42:05,992
- All right, let's discuss our options.
- Breathe, and go.

899
00:42:06,159 --> 00:42:10,30
Hey, whoa. Guys, you can't just park
right in front of the guy's house.

900
00:42:10,196 --> 00:42:12,632
You wanna carry an unconscious
dude down the street?

901
00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:14,634
He's gonna be way too heavy.
Let's move.

902
00:42:14,801 --> 00:42:16,369
That's a good point. Good point.

903
00:42:17,604 --> 00:42:20,440
Wait, whoa. You can't just walk
up to the guy's front door.

904
00:42:20,573 --> 00:42:23,610
- Will you calm down? We have a plan.
- We have a plan. Just relax.

905
00:42:23,743 --> 00:42:27,480
 NICK: Oh, do you? That's great.
That makes me feel a lot better.

906
00:42:27,981 --> 00:42:29,816
- Okay, you ready?
 KURT: Yeah, I'm ready.

907
00:42:29,983 --> 00:42:31,751
Watch this. Go.

908
00:42:32,318 --> 00:42:33,586
- Ah, ****.
- ****.

909
00:42:33,753 --> 00:42:35,321
- It's a bust.
- It's locked.

910
00:42:36,556 --> 00:42:38,725
The plan did not account
for a locked door?

911
00:42:38,725 --> 00:42:40,694
Fifty-fifty chance
it's gonna be open.

912
00:42:41,494 --> 00:42:43,897
- How do you figure that?
- Either locked or unlocked.

913
00:42:44,64 --> 00:42:44,964
Fifty-fifty, yeah.

914
00:42:44,964 --> 00:42:47,167
It's basic math. What's
up with you tonight?

915
00:42:47,300 --> 00:42:49,2
- Give me your credit card.
- Good.

916
00:42:49,135 --> 00:42:51,137
- Plan B's got a credit card in it?
 DALE: Come on.

917
00:42:51,304 --> 00:42:52,972
- Your plan sucks.
 DALE: Your math sucks.

918
00:42:53,106 --> 00:42:54,207
That's what's going on.

919
00:42:54,341 --> 00:42:56,343
- Wait. What if he's in there?
- Oh, yeah.

920
00:42:56,543 --> 00:42:59,45
- How do we make sure?
- Why don't you ring the doorbell?

921
00:42:59,179 --> 00:43:00,847
- I love it. Smart.
- Don't. Kurt.

922
00:43:00,980 --> 00:43:02,48
Oh, ***. Are you kidding?

923
00:43:02,182 --> 00:43:03,850
 [DOORBELL RINGS MUSICAL TUNE]

924
00:43:04,718 --> 00:43:07,153
- It's dark. Don't think anybody's here.
- Don't hit it again.

925
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,888
 [DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING]

926
00:43:09,389 --> 00:43:10,990
 KURT: You hear that?
- I know that song.

927
00:43:11,191 --> 00:43:13,59
 DALE: What is that?
- It's a song, right? Is it:

928
00:43:13,193 --> 00:43:14,794
 [SINGING] No matter what you do

929
00:43:14,961 --> 00:43:16,162
No, no.

930
00:43:16,296 --> 00:43:17,530
 BOTH: I will always be with you

931
00:43:17,664 --> 00:43:19,32
- Who sings that?
- Badfinger.

932
00:43:19,199 --> 00:43:20,700
Doesn't matter what you do, girl

933
00:43:20,867 --> 00:43:22,1
Quiet.

934
00:43:22,135 --> 00:43:25,638
Ooh, girl, with you
 You nailed it.

935
00:43:25,839 --> 00:43:27,40
Knock down the old gray wall

936
00:43:27,173 --> 00:43:28,475
Shut the **** up.

937
00:43:28,641 --> 00:43:30,577
- Hey, you're yelling.
- Shh! Shh! You're yelling.

938
00:43:30,744 --> 00:43:32,178
Do me a favor. Hurry up.

939
00:43:32,345 --> 00:43:35,882
Fail to open up the front door so
we can get the **** out of here.

940
00:43:37,83 --> 00:43:38,84
-  Ah, ****. DALE: Ooh.

941
00:43:38,218 --> 00:43:40,687
- What's "****"? What happened?
- We got a problem.

942
00:43:40,820 --> 00:43:42,922
- Yeah, see? Right there?
- Goddamn it.

943
00:43:43,56 --> 00:43:45,425
 KURT: There it is. Staring back at us.
 NICK: Okay, what now?

944
00:43:45,592 --> 00:43:48,28
I guess we follow your idea
and we get out of here.

945
00:43:48,194 --> 00:43:50,764
- Yeah, we gotta go.
- No. Hey. My credit card's in there.

946
00:43:50,897 --> 00:43:54,200
- Call them and cancel.
- They'll send you a new one overnight.

947
00:43:54,334 --> 00:43:57,604
When they find the card, they'll know
we were here. It's pretty simple.

948
00:43:57,904 --> 00:43:59,906
- Oh, ***.
- They're gonna know you were here.

949
00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:02,442
Go, go. Car. Car.

950
00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:15,288
 [WHISPERS] What do you got going there?
- Finger-flage.

951
00:44:16,523 --> 00:44:18,91
Is that his wife?

952
00:44:18,224 --> 00:44:20,760
No, that's a '93 Civic and
she's carrying dry cleaning.

953
00:44:20,894 --> 00:44:22,62
I'm gonna go with a maid.

954
00:44:22,228 --> 00:44:24,631
He married his maid?

955
00:44:32,238 --> 00:44:34,974
Mr. Rex, are you home?

956
00:44:35,575 --> 00:44:37,744
It me, Kim Song.

957
00:44:37,977 --> 00:44:41,214
I pick up your dry cleaning.

958
00:44:45,552 --> 00:44:46,986
 [SIGHS]

959
00:44:52,992 --> 00:44:54,561
 NICK: Okay, I got it. - Wow.

960
00:44:55,95 --> 00:44:56,429
He's got good taste.

961
00:44:56,796 --> 00:44:57,997
It's bent, goddamn it.

962
00:44:58,164 --> 00:45:01,134
- Nice, clean lines, little pops of color.
- Let's go.

963
00:45:01,267 --> 00:45:02,268
- Go?
- What?

964
00:45:02,435 --> 00:45:04,70
We just got inside. Let's stay.

965
00:45:04,237 --> 00:45:06,139
So did she. Let's get
the **** out of here.

966
00:45:06,139 --> 00:45:07,474
Are you quitting on the plan?

967
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:08,641
 [CAR APPROACHING]

968
00:45:08,775 --> 00:45:09,843
 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

969
00:45:09,976 --> 00:45:11,945
- Back in. Back in. He's here.
- Why? Who's here?

970
00:45:12,112 --> 00:45:14,881
- Mr. Rex.
- Oh, ***.

971
00:45:15,81 --> 00:45:16,282
 [DOOR OPENS]

972
00:45:16,416 --> 00:45:18,952
 REX: Kim? You here?

973
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,522
 [HUMMING]

974
00:45:22,655 --> 00:45:23,790
Kim, you grab my shirts?

975
00:45:23,990 --> 00:45:26,593
- Yes, Mr. Rex. I go hang up now.
- Great.

976
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,695
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kim. Kimbo.

977
00:45:29,562 --> 00:45:32,399
- Take a look at this. Tell
me what you see. KIM: Uh...

978
00:45:32,565 --> 00:45:35,368
Are you gonna leave this mess
in the bottom of my sink?

979
00:45:36,2 --> 00:45:37,337
The water?

980
00:45:37,470 --> 00:45:40,874
Yes, the little water droplets
all over the bottom of my sink.

981
00:45:41,41 --> 00:45:44,244
I don't know what thatched hut you
grew up in, but this is disgusting.

982
00:45:44,377 --> 00:45:46,246
But it just water.

983
00:45:46,379 --> 00:45:48,748
Okay. Okay.

984
00:45:48,915 --> 00:45:50,684
 [IN KOREAN ACCENT]
Then you just fire.

985
00:45:51,985 --> 00:45:54,654
You lose your job.
Too bad for you.

986
00:45:54,788 --> 00:45:56,823
Bye-bye.

987
00:45:59,159 --> 00:46:02,595
Ha, ha! Look at you.
I got you again.

988
00:46:03,96 --> 00:46:05,98
Look at that little chubby face.

989
00:46:05,265 --> 00:46:08,68
You think I was gonna fire you
on your ****ing birthday?

990
00:46:08,234 --> 00:46:11,237
Are you out of your mind, Mrs.
Miyagi? Get over here.

991
00:46:11,538 --> 00:46:13,606
Come here, you. Happy birthday.

992
00:46:13,773 --> 00:46:15,75
I got you something.

993
00:46:22,782 --> 00:46:24,17
That's a good one.

994
00:46:24,184 --> 00:46:27,120
That's top of the line. That's
like the Cadillac of plungers.

995
00:46:27,754 --> 00:46:29,356
That's just for
here, though, okay?

996
00:46:29,556 --> 00:46:31,24
- No taking it home.
- No.

997
00:46:31,191 --> 00:46:33,126
Yeah, what's up, man?

998
00:46:33,326 --> 00:46:38,398
Yeah, no, I'm not busy at all. I'm just
making my maid's day. It's her birthday.

999
00:46:39,65 --> 00:46:42,502
Hey, Kim, seriously, though. Can we
keep a dry sink from here on in?

1000
00:46:42,669 --> 00:46:43,970
Yes, Mr. Rex.

1001
00:46:44,871 --> 00:46:46,72
What's up?

1002
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:47,707
No, **** that, man.

1003
00:46:47,874 --> 00:46:49,476
Kim.

1004
00:46:51,544 --> 00:46:52,879
Oh.

1005
00:47:34,654 --> 00:47:37,724
Dude, I'm trying. My dad is being
a total **** about the money.

1006
00:47:38,191 --> 00:47:39,225
 NICK: What's she doing?

1007
00:47:43,797 --> 00:47:45,865
Kimchi.

1008
00:47:48,935 --> 00:47:50,570
 NICK: There he is.
 KURT: Okay. Shh.

1009
00:47:50,937 --> 00:47:53,39
 NICK: Oh, no. He's gonna brush his teeth.
 KURT: He is.

1010
00:47:53,206 --> 00:47:54,941
- He's gonna do it.
- Here he goes.

1011
00:47:55,75 --> 00:47:56,676
 DALE: Do it. NICK: Do it.

1012
00:47:56,843 --> 00:47:59,245
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

1013
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,350
Yeah, get them nice and
clean, you son of a *****.

1014
00:48:03,516 --> 00:48:04,751
So satisfying.

1015
00:48:04,918 --> 00:48:08,722
Wait, guys. Okay. Now what, though?
What are we doing? What do we do now?

1016
00:48:08,888 --> 00:48:11,891
We wait for him to go to bed. Dale starts
the gas. I've got the ransom note.

1017
00:48:11,991 --> 00:48:13,93
 [GAS HISSING]

1018
00:48:13,226 --> 00:48:14,961
- Not now.
- He said, "Dale, start the gas."

1019
00:48:15,28 --> 00:48:16,229
I said, "Dale starts the gas."

1020
00:48:16,363 --> 00:48:19,199
Later, you idiot. Turn that off.
We can't have the gas in here.

1021
00:48:19,366 --> 00:48:20,633
Okay. I'll put this on the...

1022
00:48:20,834 --> 00:48:23,436
- Turn it off.
- I'm trying to. It's broken or something.

1023
00:48:23,603 --> 00:48:25,605
Are you kidding me?
Turn it the other way.

1024
00:48:25,805 --> 00:48:29,42
We dropped it like a million times.
I think we broke it. No, see?

1025
00:48:29,209 --> 00:48:31,77
- It's not doing anything.
- Let's get out.

1026
00:48:31,244 --> 00:48:32,979
- What? He's right outside.
 NICK: Shh.

1027
00:48:33,113 --> 00:48:35,215
***. He's right there. Then
get the can out of here.

1028
00:48:35,348 --> 00:48:36,416
 [KURT LAUGHING]

1029
00:48:36,616 --> 00:48:38,451
Don't start laughing.
What is funny about this?

1030
00:48:38,618 --> 00:48:40,320
Look at your face. Look at his face.
Ha, ha.

1031
00:48:40,487 --> 00:48:41,721
- Oh, no.
- Dude, your face...

1032
00:48:41,888 --> 00:48:43,923
The gas. Is this the gas?

1033
00:48:44,90 --> 00:48:46,526
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1034
00:48:46,693 --> 00:48:48,828
Hey. Listen. Keep it together.

1035
00:48:48,995 --> 00:48:50,63
Yes, it's the gas.

1036
00:48:50,230 --> 00:48:51,364
 [ALL LAUGHING]

1037
00:48:51,531 --> 00:48:53,633
- It's pretty good.
- You keep it together.

1038
00:48:56,436 --> 00:48:58,138
I was trying to hit him.

1039
00:48:58,672 --> 00:49:01,808
- Guys.
- No, no, no.

1040
00:49:02,8 --> 00:49:04,644
Okay. I'm good. I'm good.
Let's...

1041
00:49:14,688 --> 00:49:16,923
 [KATY PERRY'S "ROAR"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

1042
00:49:18,525 --> 00:49:21,828
***. Kurt. Kurt, your phone.

1043
00:49:21,995 --> 00:49:23,396
Your phone. Answer your phone.

1044
00:49:23,563 --> 00:49:25,732
- I got it. I got it. I got it.
- Where are we?

1045
00:49:25,865 --> 00:49:28,535
- Shut it off.
- Why is your wife calling me?

1046
00:49:28,668 --> 00:49:32,605
Oh, ***. Oh, ***. She's probably freaking
out. I didn't come home last night.

1047
00:49:32,772 --> 00:49:33,807
 NICK: Quiet.

1048
00:49:33,973 --> 00:49:36,242
Dude, get your ****ing
head out of my crotch.

1049
00:49:42,449 --> 00:49:45,685
Will you look at this ****ing view
during the daytime? You kidding me?

1050
00:49:45,885 --> 00:49:47,287
- He seems gone.
- Unbelievable.

1051
00:49:47,454 --> 00:49:49,289
- Bed's made.
- I can't believe this.

1052
00:49:49,456 --> 00:49:50,724
We should maybe just check.

1053
00:49:50,890 --> 00:49:52,92
- Hey! Rex!
- Hey.

1054
00:49:52,258 --> 00:49:54,694
Rex! Rex!

1055
00:49:54,828 --> 00:49:56,563
Dale.

1056
00:49:57,30 --> 00:49:59,399
Did you have a plan
if he responded?

1057
00:50:00,266 --> 00:50:03,937
- I didn't think that far ahead.
- You get even dumber in the mornings.

1058
00:50:04,70 --> 00:50:05,572
- Why are you worried?
- Let's go.

1059
00:50:05,705 --> 00:50:08,308
- You know, fifty-fifty chance he was here.
- Yeah.

1060
00:50:08,775 --> 00:50:11,878
You know, Stacy's just gonna
completely flip out when I get home.

1061
00:50:12,45 --> 00:50:14,614
- What kind of dad doesn't come home?
- Shut that down.

1062
00:50:14,748 --> 00:50:18,551
If the worst thing that happens from this
cluster**** is your domestic problems...

1063
00:50:18,718 --> 00:50:22,255
...we can consider ourselves lucky. We
just dodged a huge bullet back there.

1064
00:50:22,389 --> 00:50:24,924
We almost made the worst
decision of our lives.

1065
00:50:25,91 --> 00:50:27,394
That's true. Know why?
If he opens that closet

1066
00:50:27,427 --> 00:50:29,396
and sees us, we're
in prison right now.

1067
00:50:29,562 --> 00:50:33,933
That's right. So we're very, very lucky.
What the **** is the matter with us?

1068
00:50:34,67 --> 00:50:38,4
I tell you what. If a couple tiny things
went our way, we could've pulled that off.

1069
00:50:38,171 --> 00:50:41,341
We're not criminals. We suck at crime.
We're nice, normal guys.

1070
00:50:41,508 --> 00:50:44,144
- I like baseball. I wear pants.
 KURT: Yup.

1071
00:50:44,277 --> 00:50:46,813
- Back to being cogs in the machine.
- Cogs. Cogs, dude.

1072
00:50:46,946 --> 00:50:48,81
 KURT: Cogs are good.

1073
00:50:48,548 --> 00:50:49,783
 DALE: It's a relief, you know?

1074
00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:52,919
It's like a weight lifted off your...
What is it, shoulders?

1075
00:50:53,86 --> 00:50:56,256
- It's a fresh start where everything's...
- I'll call you guys later.

1076
00:50:56,656 --> 00:50:58,525
- Please don't kill me.
- ****!

1077
00:50:58,692 --> 00:51:00,493
- Oh, ****.
- What the **** is that?

1078
00:51:00,627 --> 00:51:04,998
What the **** is that? What did we do? We
kidnap him while we're high on nitrous?

1079
00:51:05,165 --> 00:51:07,400
Then went back into the
closet and went to sleep?

1080
00:51:07,567 --> 00:51:09,335
- Why would we do that?
- Shh. Shh. What?

1081
00:51:09,469 --> 00:51:10,603
 [REX CRYING]

1082
00:51:10,804 --> 00:51:12,339
Is he crying?

1083
00:51:13,573 --> 00:51:15,141
 [REX LAUGHING]

1084
00:51:16,509 --> 00:51:19,646
Oh, my God. The best.

1085
00:51:20,213 --> 00:51:23,116
That was so good.

1086
00:51:23,483 --> 00:51:24,851
Help me out.

1087
00:51:25,18 --> 00:51:26,853
 [CONTINUES LAUGHING]

1088
00:51:26,986 --> 00:51:30,490
The look on your...
Look at this.

1089
00:51:30,657 --> 00:51:33,493
 [KURT CHUCKLES THEN LAUGHS]

1090
00:51:34,594 --> 00:51:38,131
I really couldn’t...
Your ****ing face.

1091
00:51:38,498 --> 00:51:42,235
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, man. Yeah. Whoo-whee.

1092
00:51:42,402 --> 00:51:44,4
Ah! You had us.

1093
00:51:44,170 --> 00:51:45,171
 [ALL LAUGHING]

1094
00:51:45,338 --> 00:51:46,740
 DALE: Oh! Oh!

1095
00:51:49,309 --> 00:51:50,810
- What's happening?
- I don't know.

1096
00:51:50,977 --> 00:51:53,79
- What's happening?
- Oh, boy.

1097
00:51:53,413 --> 00:51:55,415
 [LAUGHING]

1098
00:51:55,548 --> 00:51:58,685
Oh, my God, you guys. Thank you.

1099
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,156
I have not laughed like
that in a long time.

1100
00:52:03,323 --> 00:52:05,925
Oh, my God. Goddamn, that was great.
Food for the soul.

1101
00:52:06,92 --> 00:52:08,128
Good, well, we were just
trying to be funny.

1102
00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:10,797
- You know, no harm, no foul, right?
- Yeah, yeah.

1103
00:52:10,964 --> 00:52:12,766
Guys, I completely
underestimated you.

1104
00:52:12,932 --> 00:52:16,569
You ****ers have some low-hanging balls.
I mean it. I'm impressed.

1105
00:52:17,237 --> 00:52:19,572
I mean, I wake up, I find
you three in my closet...

1106
00:52:19,706 --> 00:52:22,409
...along with a ransom note,
a big old bottle of nitrous.

1107
00:52:22,575 --> 00:52:26,46
I'm like, "Holy ***. These
****ers were gonna gas me."

1108
00:52:26,212 --> 00:52:28,782
I'm about to call the cops
when I think, "Hold up a sec.

1109
00:52:28,948 --> 00:52:30,917
These guys may be
onto something."

1110
00:52:32,85 --> 00:52:34,87
I wanna partner
up on this thing.

1111
00:52:34,254 --> 00:52:37,457
- What thing? What are you talking about?
- I'm not sure what you mean.

1112
00:52:37,590 --> 00:52:39,926
- This thing. My kidnapping.
 KURT: Oh.

1113
00:52:40,226 --> 00:52:43,96
Truth be told, Pop and I...

1114
00:52:43,430 --> 00:52:46,833
...we've hit a rough patch. He's
refusing to cover some of my expenses.

1115
00:52:47,0 --> 00:52:51,71
Long story. Anyway, your timing could not
have been better. Is this a ****ing marlin?

1116
00:52:51,237 --> 00:52:54,607
Rex, this is, uh, cool and all,
but we decided, like, we're out.

1117
00:52:54,774 --> 00:52:56,576
- We're not doing crime.
- Not our thing.

1118
00:52:56,710 --> 00:52:59,679
Yeah, no, he's right. No, the
kidnapping is off, actually.

1119
00:52:59,846 --> 00:53:02,15
- Huh? No, no, no, it's on.
- No, it's off.

1120
00:53:02,215 --> 00:53:04,684
No, it's totally on. I sent
the ransom note to my dad.

1121
00:53:04,851 --> 00:53:06,219
- You what?
- You did what?

1122
00:53:06,353 --> 00:53:09,689
It's brilliant. Who came up with that
thing about me being a little boy?

1123
00:53:10,290 --> 00:53:12,58
- Beautiful.
- Thanks.

1124
00:53:12,192 --> 00:53:13,993
I was a little insulted
you only asked for

1125
00:53:14,27 --> 00:53:15,929
$500,000 for me. Is that
all I'm worth? Hmm?

1126
00:53:16,563 --> 00:53:18,898
No sweat. I tacked
on another zero.

1127
00:53:19,232 --> 00:53:22,202
- Five-hundred million?
- Wow, that's a ton.

1128
00:53:22,602 --> 00:53:24,204
- Five million, guys.
- Five million.

1129
00:53:24,371 --> 00:53:25,872
- Five million.
- Five. Right.

1130
00:53:26,39 --> 00:53:30,210
Yeah, 5 million. One million dollars
for you guys, and 4 for me.

1131
00:53:30,377 --> 00:53:31,978
Why don't we make
that ransom call?

1132
00:53:32,278 --> 00:53:33,847
Yeah, Rex, let's not.

1133
00:53:34,14 --> 00:53:39,119
We appreciate the offer, and thank you for
not calling the cops, but we're gonna pass.

1134
00:53:39,319 --> 00:53:40,353
-  No. KURT: Yeah.

1135
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,289
Guys. Guys, how's this
anything but great news?

1136
00:53:43,456 --> 00:53:47,560
All I'm asking you to do is finish your
own plan but for double the money.

1137
00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:50,897
Plus, it got a thousand times easier
because now I'm your inside man.

1138
00:53:51,97 --> 00:53:52,565
I can make sure Dad pays up.

1139
00:53:52,732 --> 00:53:54,401
And then when you,
uh, "set me free"...

1140
00:53:54,567 --> 00:53:57,537
...I tell the cops it was three
other morons that went that way.

1141
00:53:57,671 --> 00:54:00,173
Oh. Wow. That's not the
worst idea I've ever heard.

1142
00:54:00,306 --> 00:54:02,676
- It's better than our original idea.
 KURT: A lot better.

1143
00:54:02,842 --> 00:54:04,344
Give us one second.

1144
00:54:04,477 --> 00:54:05,545
****ing what?

1145
00:54:05,712 --> 00:54:08,248
- We can't trust this guy.
- You can trust me.

1146
00:54:08,415 --> 00:54:12,85
No, you're right. They burned us once
already. We're not gonna get burned again.

1147
00:54:12,252 --> 00:54:14,454
- Nice try. DALE:
Thanks but no thanks.

1148
00:54:14,587 --> 00:54:17,724
- That's a Nick-Kurt-Dale no from us.
- Nick, Kurt and Dale.

1149
00:54:17,891 --> 00:54:20,860
- So, uh, thank you, but adios.
- Yeah. Heh.

1150
00:54:20,994 --> 00:54:22,562
-  Okay. NICK: You need a ride?

1151
00:54:22,729 --> 00:54:24,864
No. I think I'll hang out here.

1152
00:54:24,998 --> 00:54:27,434
You know, escape from
your clutches...

1153
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,235
...and call the police.

1154
00:54:29,402 --> 00:54:31,604
Go ahead. Call them. We
never kidnapped you.

1155
00:54:31,771 --> 00:54:33,239
- Yeah, you did.
- We didn't.

1156
00:54:33,406 --> 00:54:35,208
- Yeah, you abducted me.
- We did not.

1157
00:54:35,375 --> 00:54:37,43
Yeah, you brought me back here.

1158
00:54:37,210 --> 00:54:40,113
- There was a struggle.
- Oh, ***. Come on, man.

1159
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,948
Things got broken.

1160
00:54:42,515 --> 00:54:43,583
 DALE: What the...?

1161
00:54:44,351 --> 00:54:46,286
And then, you assaulted me.

1162
00:54:46,453 --> 00:54:47,954
- Oh, ***.
- What?

1163
00:54:48,121 --> 00:54:49,556
This guy's ****ing nuts.

1164
00:54:49,723 --> 00:54:51,491
Hey, Rex? It's off, pal.

1165
00:54:51,658 --> 00:54:55,95
Oh, and then you beat me.
Mercilessly.

1166
00:54:55,228 --> 00:54:56,763
 [GRUNTING]

1167
00:54:56,930 --> 00:54:59,799
Holy ***. He's Fight Clubbing himself.
We got a Fight Clubber.

1168
00:54:59,966 --> 00:55:02,902
And then I found my way up
here and I found this phone.

1169
00:55:03,570 --> 00:55:05,438
- I picked up the receiver...
- Oh, no.

1170
00:55:05,605 --> 00:55:06,940
...and I dialed 9...

1171
00:55:07,107 --> 00:55:09,342
- Don't, don't, don't.
- Come on. Joke's over.

1172
00:55:09,476 --> 00:55:11,478
- ...1...
- Don't you hit the second 1.

1173
00:55:11,644 --> 00:55:13,13
- Don't do it. Aah!
- Don't hit it.

1174
00:55:15,615 --> 00:55:18,852
I don't know where I'm going. I don't
know where you find pay phones.

1175
00:55:18,985 --> 00:55:21,287
- There's some pay phones at the park here.
- Okay.

1176
00:55:21,454 --> 00:55:25,492
Boys, we are doing this. The
adventure begins. Who's fired up?

1177
00:55:25,825 --> 00:55:27,127
 KURT: Hmm.

1178
00:55:27,694 --> 00:55:31,97
Such a negative energy. This is killing me.
Guys, come on.

1179
00:55:31,231 --> 00:55:35,101
- Can you scoot over just a smidge?
- Huh? No, I sit in the middle.

1180
00:55:35,235 --> 00:55:37,203
- That's his seat.
- It's a whole thing, Rex.

1181
00:55:37,404 --> 00:55:40,173
 REX: I know. Just you're crowding me.
- I'm crowding this guy now?

1182
00:55:40,373 --> 00:55:42,409
He's forcing us to kidnap
him, and I'm crowding him?

1183
00:55:42,509 --> 00:55:46,579
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. Simmer down.
Kidnapping was your idea, remember?

1184
00:55:46,713 --> 00:55:49,282
- But then we had the idea to not do it.
- Yeah, exactly.

1185
00:55:49,449 --> 00:55:51,184
- I sit in the middle!
- Hey, hey.

1186
00:55:51,317 --> 00:55:53,853
 KURT: Dale, just do what he says.
- Ah, for chrissake.

1187
00:55:55,288 --> 00:55:56,623
Oh, God. That is nice.

1188
00:55:57,157 --> 00:55:58,692
This is way better.

1189
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,896
This is bull***, by the way.

1190
00:56:07,801 --> 00:56:12,405
Excuse me, Dr. Harris. Was someone
in the office last night?

1191
00:56:12,605 --> 00:56:15,508
Uh, my ***-addiction
group met here at 8.

1192
00:56:15,642 --> 00:56:19,579
Oh. Yes. But, doctor, the keypad
logged an earlier entrance.

1193
00:56:19,713 --> 00:56:21,47
Really?

1194
00:56:21,414 --> 00:56:23,216
Let's check our fancy
new camera system.

1195
00:56:24,284 --> 00:56:27,20
- It's so weird. JULIA: Yeah,
that's what I thought.

1196
00:56:27,287 --> 00:56:29,723
Is that Dale?

1197
00:56:29,889 --> 00:56:32,525
What's he doing with
Kurt and Blanston?

1198
00:56:32,692 --> 00:56:34,494
- Should we call the police?
 JULIA: No.

1199
00:56:34,928 --> 00:56:36,62
No.

1200
00:56:42,902 --> 00:56:43,937
 [PHONE DIALING]

1201
00:56:44,104 --> 00:56:45,238
All right, it's ringing.

1202
00:56:45,438 --> 00:56:49,909
Remember, you guys hold all the cards.
Game faces. You are going to crush this.

1203
00:56:50,76 --> 00:56:52,979
Hold on. He knows what we sound like.
We gotta use an accent.

1204
00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:56,182
- No accents. That's ridiculous.
- That's a great idea, Kurty.

1205
00:56:56,716 --> 00:56:57,751
Boulder Stream.

1206
00:56:57,917 --> 00:57:00,153
- Who is this? The secretary?
 REX: Accent. Yeah.

1207
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:03,590
 [IN LATINO ACCENT] Hey, homey.
Let me speak to Mr. Bert Hanson.

1208
00:57:03,957 --> 00:57:07,394
No, I don't mind holding. I just barely
even called you right now already.

1209
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:09,562
- That's incredibly racist.
- Super racist.

1210
00:57:09,729 --> 00:57:10,964
Just do a Southern accent.

1211
00:57:11,97 --> 00:57:13,433
Southern? Southern I got.
Southern. No problem.

1212
00:57:13,633 --> 00:57:15,135
 [PHONE RINGS]

1213
00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:17,103
Hanson.

1214
00:57:17,270 --> 00:57:19,406
 [IN OLD SOUTH ACCENT] Well,
howdy there, partner.

1215
00:57:19,572 --> 00:57:22,542
Uh, this here's the gents what
got your young'un and all.

1216
00:57:22,709 --> 00:57:25,278
And, well, we got some
talking to do and...

1217
00:57:25,478 --> 00:57:28,348
- Southern, not old prospector.
- I thought that was pretty good.

1218
00:57:28,515 --> 00:57:33,219
Listen, you lowlife bottom-feeder, I don't
have time for this little ****-around.

1219
00:57:33,386 --> 00:57:36,589
Either this ends right now, or it
ends with bullets in your skulls.

1220
00:57:36,756 --> 00:57:40,160
 [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Now, you hush. You
don't scare us one bit. We got your boy.

1221
00:57:40,293 --> 00:57:42,629
I bet that tears you
up something fierce.

1222
00:57:42,662 --> 00:57:44,798
How do I know you
 really have my boy?

1223
00:57:46,433 --> 00:57:47,467
Dad.

1224
00:57:47,934 --> 00:57:50,837
Dad, is that you? Please.
They're crazy.

1225
00:57:50,970 --> 00:57:53,340
They told me if you call the
police, they'd kill me.

1226
00:57:53,506 --> 00:57:56,443
 [WHIMPERING] Please. Please, do whatever
they say. I don't wanna die, Dad.

1227
00:57:56,609 --> 00:57:58,378
No police. Aah!

1228
00:57:58,578 --> 00:58:00,880
- God!
- Rex? Rex? Where are you?

1229
00:58:01,14 --> 00:58:03,850
 [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Now, you listen.
Y'all gonna have to rassle up...

1230
00:58:03,983 --> 00:58:06,920
...that 5 million bucks in cash.

1231
00:58:07,53 --> 00:58:08,621
We're looking at all 100s.

1232
00:58:08,788 --> 00:58:09,823
 NICK: Unmarked. - Unmarked.

1233
00:58:09,989 --> 00:58:12,826
 NICK: No tracers.
- No tracers and no dye packs neither.

1234
00:58:12,992 --> 00:58:15,495
Otherwise, we gonna
take your boy...

1235
00:58:15,662 --> 00:58:19,132
...and string him up by
his pretty little neck...

1236
00:58:19,299 --> 00:58:23,737
...with the roughest, coarsest
piece of rope we got...

1237
00:58:23,937 --> 00:58:26,272
...in our rope inventory.

1238
00:58:26,439 --> 00:58:29,342
You understand? You got
24 hours before he dead.

1239
00:58:30,877 --> 00:58:32,145
- Yes.
- That is how it's done.

1240
00:58:32,312 --> 00:58:33,380
Let's go. All right.

1241
00:58:33,747 --> 00:58:36,349
Guys, that was great.

1242
00:58:36,750 --> 00:58:38,18
That was so much fun.

1243
00:58:38,184 --> 00:58:39,853
- Absolutely. REX:
You were incredible.

1244
00:58:40,20 --> 00:58:42,689
- Thanks for getting us snacks, dude.
- You earned it.

1245
00:58:42,822 --> 00:58:44,157
So now what? What do we do?

1246
00:58:44,290 --> 00:58:45,358
- Okay.
- What's the plan?

1247
00:58:45,558 --> 00:58:47,761
- I say we go back to the office.
 KURT: Mm-hm.

1248
00:58:47,894 --> 00:58:49,462
Okay? Lay low for
a little while.

1249
00:58:49,629 --> 00:58:51,598
And we wait for that
money train to roll in.

1250
00:58:51,731 --> 00:58:52,899
 [ALL LAUGHING]

1251
00:58:53,66 --> 00:58:54,634
- Choo-choo!
- Choo-choo, baby!

1252
00:58:54,768 --> 00:58:56,269
 [KATY PERRY'S "ROAR"
PLAYING ON RADIO]

1253
00:58:56,436 --> 00:58:59,139
- Oh! Turn up this song. I love this one.
- We're doing this thing.

1254
00:58:59,305 --> 00:59:01,307
I hate to break up the
car party, but, Rex,

1255
00:59:01,307 --> 00:59:03,376
you don't have a plan
for the ransom drop...

1256
00:59:03,543 --> 00:59:05,412
...and that is the part
where people get caught.

1257
00:59:05,545 --> 00:59:10,16
Wow. The ransom drop is only
hard if the police are involved.

1258
00:59:10,183 --> 00:59:14,154
Yeah. But what if he does call the police?
Because that wouldn't be good.

1259
00:59:14,287 --> 00:59:18,158
He's a billionaire. He's not gonna
risk my life over $5 million.

1260
00:59:18,291 --> 00:59:21,795
After Kurt's little performance, there's
no way he's gonna call the cops.

1261
00:59:21,928 --> 00:59:24,764
My performance? What about yours?
You were so in the moment.

1262
00:59:24,898 --> 00:59:27,0
- You think so?
- You were great! And you were!

1263
00:59:27,133 --> 00:59:29,302
Get your mouths off
his ****, okay?

1264
00:59:29,502 --> 00:59:31,971
- Everyone was doing pretty good.
- Whoa. Take it down a notch.

1265
00:59:32,72 --> 00:59:33,73
 [CELL PHONE RINGS]

1266
00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:35,75
Wait. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
This is Stacy.

1267
00:59:35,275 --> 00:59:37,410
Oh, my God. I forgot to call her.
Uh, hi, honey.

1268
00:59:37,577 --> 00:59:40,347
- Where have you been all night?
 DALE: Here's what happened.

1269
00:59:40,513 --> 00:59:42,315
I fell asleep at
the office, and...

1270
00:59:42,449 --> 00:59:45,518
Really? Because Find My iPhone
said you weren't at the office.

1271
00:59:45,652 --> 00:59:47,587
Heh. What, are you
cheating on me, Dale?

1272
00:59:47,754 --> 00:59:49,422
- Look, you're upset and...
- Oh, ***.

1273
00:59:49,589 --> 00:59:52,425
 NICK: Oh, God. Goddamn it.
- He called the cops.

1274
00:59:52,592 --> 00:59:55,562
- Oh, we're busted.
- Busted? Oh, my God.

1275
00:59:55,729 --> 00:59:57,263
- I'm not busted.
- Drive.

1276
00:59:57,430 --> 00:59:59,699
 DALE: No one is busted in
a bad sense of the word.

1277
00:59:59,866 --> 01:00:02,936
- Too late. Lupe's got us. Pull in.
 DALE: Put your head in my lap.

1278
01:00:03,103 --> 01:00:05,138
Honey, no one's head's
going in my lap. It's

1279
01:00:05,138 --> 01:00:07,173
something guys are saying now.
I can't talk.

1280
01:00:07,340 --> 01:00:09,75
 NICK: Hide, hide, hide.
 DALE: I am ****ed.

1281
01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:11,378
- Let's just go in. Be calm and be cool.
 NICK: ***.

1282
01:00:11,544 --> 01:00:13,513
- Hi.
- Gentlemen.

1283
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,915
- You own this establishment?
 NICK: This place here?

1284
01:00:16,49 --> 01:00:18,752
I don't know. Do you really own
anything in this lifetime?

1285
01:00:18,918 --> 01:00:20,53
We're currently renting.

1286
01:00:20,53 --> 01:00:22,155
It's all just material.
Electrons, protons.

1287
01:00:22,288 --> 01:00:23,623
- Yeah. We do.
- Technically.

1288
01:00:24,90 --> 01:00:28,628
Let me ask you, has your company done
business recently with a Mr. Bert Hanson?

1289
01:00:29,195 --> 01:00:33,433
- Barb Fanson? Doesn't ring a bell.
 NICK: Not really ringing a bell.

1290
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,602
- I don't think that we have.
- Not our guy.

1291
01:00:35,769 --> 01:00:38,638
That's interesting. The way I
hear it, you're working with him.

1292
01:00:38,838 --> 01:00:41,675
And things didn't shake out
too well for you boys.

1293
01:00:41,808 --> 01:00:43,109
- Oh, Bert.
- Oh. Bert Hanson.

1294
01:00:43,276 --> 01:00:44,611
- Yeah.
- Is that what he said?

1295
01:00:44,744 --> 01:00:46,980
 KURT: Bert Hanson? Oh, yeah. We know him.
 NICK: That guy.

1296
01:00:47,147 --> 01:00:48,715
 DALE: We had a
business disagreement.

1297
01:00:49,15 --> 01:00:50,517
 KURT: Big whoop.
 DALE: No big deal.

1298
01:00:50,650 --> 01:00:53,753
 NICK: Water under the bridge.
- We're super friendly with the guy.

1299
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:54,921
You're very forgiving.

1300
01:00:55,55 --> 01:00:58,358
Because almost everyone I've
talked to thinks he's an *******.

1301
01:00:58,491 --> 01:01:00,326
- Do they think that?
- I could see that.

1302
01:01:00,460 --> 01:01:02,562
Strong word. I don't
know if I'd use it.

1303
01:01:02,696 --> 01:01:06,166
We like the guy. Definitely don't think
his son deserves to be kidnapped.

1304
01:01:06,299 --> 01:01:07,867
 HATCHER: Kidnapped?

1305
01:01:08,234 --> 01:01:10,236
Who said anything
about kidnapping?

1306
01:01:12,138 --> 01:01:13,139
 DALE: Uh...

1307
01:01:13,773 --> 01:01:15,108
- I wanna say you did.
- I didn't.

1308
01:01:15,809 --> 01:01:17,310
- I heard you say it.
- I didn't.

1309
01:01:17,477 --> 01:01:19,212
- I feel like you did.
- I'm sure I did.

1310
01:01:19,379 --> 01:01:21,948
You said "kidnapping." I was
like, "What a weird word."

1311
01:01:22,115 --> 01:01:25,385
- Should be more "kidnabbing."
- No, I did not. Did I say that?

1312
01:01:27,187 --> 01:01:29,89
- I think you might have, sir.
- You sure?

1313
01:01:29,489 --> 01:01:32,559
Well, I got a little lost with all
their yammering, but pretty sure.

1314
01:01:35,729 --> 01:01:36,896
All right, maybe I did.

1315
01:01:37,63 --> 01:01:39,32
- Hey. HATCHER: It's
been a long week.

1316
01:01:39,432 --> 01:01:40,467
We'll be in touch.

1317
01:01:40,633 --> 01:01:42,669
Yeah. Anytime you want.
Don't worry, because

1318
01:01:42,669 --> 01:01:44,404
the main thing is
that you said it...

1319
01:01:44,537 --> 01:01:45,905
Stop talking. Stop talking.

1320
01:01:46,106 --> 01:01:48,575
You've done plenty,
plenty of talking.

1321
01:01:48,742 --> 01:01:51,711
Where you going? Come back here. Come
over here. We're going this way.

1322
01:01:52,78 --> 01:01:53,279
 [KURT WHISTLES]

1323
01:01:53,413 --> 01:01:56,416
 NICK: I don't want you to thank me.
Just go home and enjoy your family.

1324
01:01:56,583 --> 01:01:59,219
Enjoy the rest of the day off, everyone.
You've earned it.

1325
01:01:59,386 --> 01:02:00,587
 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

1326
01:02:00,787 --> 01:02:03,23
 NICK: Ah. Ugh.

1327
01:02:03,590 --> 01:02:06,793
The police were just checking. Making
sure we're locking up at night.

1328
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:10,63
You know, they're keeping the
neighborhood safe. They're heroes.

1329
01:02:10,230 --> 01:02:12,899
- Okay, all taken care of.
- Shh.

1330
01:02:13,66 --> 01:02:14,801
- No, everyone's gone.
- No, no, he...

1331
01:02:14,934 --> 01:02:16,169
He's spinning out.

1332
01:02:16,369 --> 01:02:19,939
I was really clear my
life was in danger.

1333
01:02:21,775 --> 01:02:23,743
He called the police anyway.

1334
01:02:25,178 --> 01:02:27,180
Yeah, and since he did...

1335
01:02:27,347 --> 01:02:30,917
...it's pretty clear that we're not gonna
be able to continue with the scam...

1336
01:02:31,117 --> 01:02:33,853
Five million dollars
is nothing to him.

1337
01:02:34,854 --> 01:02:36,990
But I guess it's worth
more to him than my life.

1338
01:02:37,157 --> 01:02:38,391
 KURT: Ooh. DALE: Aw.

1339
01:02:38,558 --> 01:02:41,428
-  [SOBBING] I'm his son, for chrissake.
- Oh, boy. We got a crier.

1340
01:02:41,594 --> 01:02:43,863
Look how blue his eyes
get when he's crying.

1341
01:02:43,897 --> 01:02:46,132
I'm sorry. This is so
****ing embarrassing.

1342
01:02:46,299 --> 01:02:47,634
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- No.

1343
01:02:47,767 --> 01:02:49,736
Toilet paper here. You
can blow your nose.

1344
01:02:49,903 --> 01:02:53,840
Just because your dad called the cops
doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

1345
01:02:53,973 --> 01:02:57,677
No, of course not. Oh, my gosh. I'm
sure it was just his first reaction.

1346
01:02:57,811 --> 01:03:00,580
- He's scared, confused.
- It's natural. I mean, Dale's a dad.

1347
01:03:00,747 --> 01:03:01,948
I'm a dad.

1348
01:03:02,115 --> 01:03:04,84
Can you imagine if someone
stole one of them?

1349
01:03:04,250 --> 01:03:06,219
- I can't imagine.
- You would call the cops.

1350
01:03:06,386 --> 01:03:09,122
No, I don't think I'd call the cops.
I couldn't take that risk.

1351
01:03:09,255 --> 01:03:10,824
 [SOBBING]

1352
01:03:10,990 --> 01:03:12,158
- Different situation.
- ***, I'm sorry.

1353
01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:13,460
Bad example.

1354
01:03:13,626 --> 01:03:15,562
Maybe some alone time
would be helpful.

1355
01:03:15,695 --> 01:03:17,797
Why don't we step outside,
give him a minute?

1356
01:03:17,997 --> 01:03:20,100
We'll come back, don't
do anything rash.

1357
01:03:20,266 --> 01:03:22,369
Get the loose rope. I
don't want him to...

1358
01:03:22,369 --> 01:03:23,303
We can only hope.

1359
01:03:23,470 --> 01:03:25,205
 NICK: Can I talk to
you outside, please?

1360
01:03:25,538 --> 01:03:28,108
 KURT: Oh, boy.
- Man, I feel terrible for that guy.

1361
01:03:28,274 --> 01:03:31,111
I know. Are you kidding me?
Poor, poor guy.

1362
01:03:31,277 --> 01:03:34,414
- I mean, that is rough. Rough.
- Are you guys ***ting me in there?

1363
01:03:34,614 --> 01:03:37,350
His dad sold him out for... It
was probably nothing to him.

1364
01:03:37,550 --> 01:03:39,19
 KURT: Pennies to him.
 DALE: The guy's rich.

1365
01:03:39,185 --> 01:03:42,188
That would rock me to my core.
Have a little empathy. Please?

1366
01:03:42,389 --> 01:03:46,359
Know what's going on? You're holding a
grudge right now. Yes, you do that.

1367
01:03:46,493 --> 01:03:48,428
You get all tight.
You're gonna get cancer.

1368
01:03:48,428 --> 01:03:49,62
You do.

1369
01:03:49,262 --> 01:03:51,664
- I don't want that. DALE:
Let the past be the past.

1370
01:03:51,831 --> 01:03:56,336
We're not in the ****ing past. We're in
the goddamn present. And you guys...

1371
01:03:56,503 --> 01:03:59,973
What are you talking about? You're
acting like you have Stockholm Syndrome.

1372
01:04:00,140 --> 01:04:01,141
What is that?

1373
01:04:01,307 --> 01:04:02,475
- What, like jet lag?
- No.

1374
01:04:02,609 --> 01:04:04,477
 DALE: Do I look tired to you?
- You don't. No.

1375
01:04:04,611 --> 01:04:06,146
- You don't look tired.
- I'm fine.

1376
01:04:06,312 --> 01:04:08,782
Stockholm Syndrome's when
you bond with your captors.

1377
01:04:08,948 --> 01:04:11,685
Oh, okay. Well, then hold on a second.
He's the hostage.

1378
01:04:11,818 --> 01:04:14,54
So this would be reverse
Stockholm Syndrome.

1379
01:04:14,421 --> 01:04:16,823
Yeah, and we don't
have that, okay?

1380
01:04:16,990 --> 01:04:20,627
He's just a really, really, really
likable guy. I like him a lot.

1381
01:04:20,794 --> 01:04:22,696
- He's really likable.
- The guy's a winner.

1382
01:04:22,862 --> 01:04:24,431
It's nice to be around a winner.

1383
01:04:24,597 --> 01:04:28,268
- Oh, boy. It feels right, Nick. Come on.
- Here's what we're gonna do.

1384
01:04:28,435 --> 01:04:31,404
We're gonna go in, tell him cops
were never part of this plan...

1385
01:04:31,538 --> 01:04:34,140
...and the *** ends now.
Let's do it.

1386
01:04:35,342 --> 01:04:38,878
- Okay, but hear us out about festering.
- Like you can't have a conversation.

1387
01:04:39,79 --> 01:04:42,582
It was a wonderful idea.
Didn't work out.

1388
01:04:42,749 --> 01:04:45,485
So I think the best thing to
do is just to pull the plug...

1389
01:04:45,618 --> 01:04:49,155
...and you tell the police that the
guys who got you chickened out...

1390
01:04:49,289 --> 01:04:51,24
...let you go,
they're long gone.

1391
01:04:51,191 --> 01:04:55,95
- They didn't all chicken out.
- Now's not the time to back off, boys.

1392
01:04:55,261 --> 01:04:58,498
I say we chop off a toe, mail it
to him and double the ransom.

1393
01:04:58,665 --> 01:05:01,234
- Now you're talking. Chop, chop, chop.
- Yes! Wait, whose toe?

1394
01:05:01,434 --> 01:05:03,703
- Not it. Not it. Not my toe.
 NICK: No one's toe.

1395
01:05:03,870 --> 01:05:05,872
Keep your toes. Time
to call it off.

1396
01:05:06,39 --> 01:05:07,707
Nick. Nick. Come on.

1397
01:05:07,874 --> 01:05:09,876
-  Nick, look at me. NICK: Oy.

1398
01:05:10,877 --> 01:05:12,846
Look, man, if we give up now,
I'll be just fine, you know?

1399
01:05:12,979 --> 01:05:15,48
But you guys, your
employees, for God's sake.

1400
01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:17,217
- Dale's little boys.
- Girls, Kurt.

1401
01:05:17,384 --> 01:05:19,819
- Hey, thanks. Yes.
- Yeah. You're all ****ed.

1402
01:05:20,53 --> 01:05:21,421
 DALE: Nick, come on.
 KURT: Come on.

1403
01:05:21,588 --> 01:05:24,457
You can't roll over and die when
your back's against the wall.

1404
01:05:24,624 --> 01:05:26,860
- Don't roll over and die.
- You gotta be careful.

1405
01:05:27,27 --> 01:05:28,928
- You have to take what's yours.
 DALE: Take it!

1406
01:05:29,62 --> 01:05:32,98
Put your name on it. Write your
name on it and say, "That's mine."

1407
01:05:32,265 --> 01:05:33,400
And take it.

1408
01:05:33,533 --> 01:05:35,301
I think I'll take
it from here, okay?

1409
01:05:35,468 --> 01:05:37,604
- He's got it.
- He's got it. Listen right here.

1410
01:05:37,737 --> 01:05:40,40
- This is where you want it to come from.
 DALE: Not us.

1411
01:05:40,173 --> 01:05:42,575
- I got it!
- Sorry, Rex. Sorry.

1412
01:05:42,742 --> 01:05:44,577
- He's got it.
 REX: Come on, man.

1413
01:05:45,412 --> 01:05:47,714
Help me help you get revenge
on my ******* dad...

1414
01:05:47,847 --> 01:05:50,750
...and get you paid a million bucks cash.
- Yes.

1415
01:05:50,917 --> 01:05:54,954
Boy, it sounds awesome, but
there's no way to get it done.

1416
01:05:55,155 --> 01:05:56,589
That's not true. How about this?

1417
01:05:56,756 --> 01:05:59,893
How about if we just put our heads
together? We brainstorm a little.

1418
01:06:00,93 --> 01:06:04,297
If we don't come up with a ransom
plan that you love, we pull the plug.

1419
01:06:04,464 --> 01:06:06,700
- Then you'd let us walk?
- You have my word.

1420
01:06:07,133 --> 01:06:10,36
But if we do come up with
something really inspired...

1421
01:06:10,170 --> 01:06:12,172
...then we're in it to win it.

1422
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:17,444
Well, I can't stop anybody
from brainstorming.

1423
01:06:19,779 --> 01:06:21,214
 [REX CHUCKLES]

1424
01:06:21,614 --> 01:06:22,949
 REX: You're the best.

1425
01:06:23,116 --> 01:06:25,352
- All right.
- I'll see you upstairs, man.

1426
01:06:27,887 --> 01:06:29,422
 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

1427
01:07:15,869 --> 01:07:18,271
Is "******" with a G or a J?

1428
01:07:18,438 --> 01:07:21,174
 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

1429
01:07:31,384 --> 01:07:32,552
All right.

1430
01:07:33,653 --> 01:07:35,588
Let's run it down from the top.

1431
01:07:35,789 --> 01:07:39,259
Okay. First we tie up Rex in one of
those abandoned warehouses off 3rd.

1432
01:07:46,399 --> 01:07:50,36
Then we call Bert on a dark phone.
It's prepaid and untraceable.

1433
01:07:53,373 --> 01:07:56,443
Go to the bench on the 4th
Street Bridge to make the drop.

1434
01:07:57,744 --> 01:07:59,479
Not long enough to
trace the call.

1435
01:07:59,612 --> 01:08:01,548
Goddamn it.

1436
01:08:02,15 --> 01:08:03,750
These guys are pros.

1437
01:08:03,917 --> 01:08:06,119
I want a tracer put in that bag.

1438
01:08:07,387 --> 01:08:10,790
The police are sending everyone
they've got to watch the bridge.

1439
01:08:10,990 --> 01:08:12,392
 SWAT 1: Weapons tight. Eyes on.

1440
01:08:12,559 --> 01:08:15,128
SWAT 2  [OVER RADIO]: All right,
tactical command, red team.

1441
01:08:18,131 --> 01:08:19,566
 [BEEPING]

1442
01:08:21,267 --> 01:08:22,902
Here we go.

1443
01:08:25,572 --> 01:08:26,673
 [HORNS HONKING]

1444
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:28,341
 KURT: But when he gets there...

1445
01:08:28,541 --> 01:08:30,744
...he finds the dark phone
that I planted ahead of time.

1446
01:08:30,877 --> 01:08:32,479
 [CELL PHONE RINGING]

1447
01:08:34,447 --> 01:08:38,84
 DALE: Then we call him from the second dark
phone, and tell him to proceed downtown.

1448
01:08:38,251 --> 01:08:39,352
Hello.

1449
01:08:40,620 --> 01:08:45,592
You'll wanna pull into the garage under the
Mandrake Hotel and park in Space 4421.

1450
01:08:45,759 --> 01:08:47,227
There, you will find a red bag.

1451
01:08:47,394 --> 01:08:49,562
You will transfer the
money into this bag, then

1452
01:08:49,562 --> 01:08:51,664
drive out and await the
location of the drop.

1453
01:08:51,831 --> 01:08:55,35
And we tell him if anyone follows
him in, his son's a ****ing corpse.

1454
01:08:55,168 --> 01:08:56,403
 [MIMICS GUNSHOT]

1455
01:09:02,676 --> 01:09:04,711
 DALE: And when Bert drives
that far underground...

1456
01:09:04,878 --> 01:09:07,147
...the police will lose
the signal from his wire.

1457
01:09:10,984 --> 01:09:14,54
 REX: But when he arrives, instead of
finding a bag he finds you three.

1458
01:09:14,220 --> 01:09:16,423
Disguised. Armed. Dangerous.

1459
01:09:16,589 --> 01:09:20,593
- Yeah, but the gun's not loaded, right?
- Of course not. Nobody gets hurt, come on.

1460
01:09:21,61 --> 01:09:23,663
I then tell him to give
me his jacket and tie.

1461
01:09:30,837 --> 01:09:33,440
So just as the cops are
starting to sweat...

1462
01:09:33,573 --> 01:09:36,643
...Dad pulls out with the new red
bag, just as he was instructed.

1463
01:09:36,810 --> 01:09:39,646
- Sir, we have the signal back.
- Thank God.

1464
01:09:40,513 --> 01:09:44,184
 REX: Only it won't be my father driving.
It'll be our ringer.

1465
01:09:44,951 --> 01:09:47,354
- We're back on him, sir.
- How do you know it's him?

1466
01:09:47,554 --> 01:09:51,257
BERT  [ON RECORDING]: I still have the
cash and I'm heading to the drop.

1467
01:09:51,458 --> 01:09:53,893
I guess it's him. Stay with him.

1468
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:56,96
 KURT: So I drive to
the Staples Center.

1469
01:09:56,262 --> 01:09:59,432
Kings have Vancouver. Great matchup.
Place will be packed.

1470
01:10:02,135 --> 01:10:05,638
 REX: Cops will stay with the money, wait
for the kidnappers to receive the drop.

1471
01:10:05,772 --> 01:10:08,108
Hanson made the drop,
stay on the money.

1472
01:10:13,413 --> 01:10:15,615
We got our man. Take him down.

1473
01:10:16,649 --> 01:10:18,618
 [MAN GRUNTS AND PEOPLE GASP]

1474
01:10:20,220 --> 01:10:21,354
 COP: Stay down.

1475
01:10:24,290 --> 01:10:26,459
Son of a *****.

1476
01:10:27,60 --> 01:10:29,162
 REX: By the time the cops
know they've been had...

1477
01:10:32,699 --> 01:10:34,434
...Kurt's a ghost.

1478
01:10:35,135 --> 01:10:38,38
 KURT: And Nick and Dale
disappear with the cash.

1479
01:10:40,507 --> 01:10:42,8
 [MUMBLING]

1480
01:10:43,777 --> 01:10:48,281
 REX: And, finally, I am rescued
from my hellish captivity.

1481
01:10:48,415 --> 01:10:50,83
Thank you. Where's my dad?

1482
01:10:50,450 --> 01:10:51,718
Dad!

1483
01:10:53,453 --> 01:10:56,56
 KURT: A week later, once
the smoke clears, we'll

1484
01:10:56,89 --> 01:10:58,425
be sitting poolside,
splitting up the cash.

1485
01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:02,262
It's raining. Who wants it?
There's enough to share.

1486
01:11:02,429 --> 01:11:03,863
 [ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING]

1487
01:11:05,398 --> 01:11:07,467
Look what came. Who
wants some tequila?

1488
01:11:07,667 --> 01:11:08,835
- It's cash.
- Thanks, babe.

1489
01:11:08,968 --> 01:11:10,36
 KURT: Hey, whoa, Dale.

1490
01:11:10,437 --> 01:11:12,739
Get your goddamn kids
out of the fantasy.

1491
01:11:12,906 --> 01:11:15,41
Let them enjoy the pool,
let me enjoy the money.

1492
01:11:15,175 --> 01:11:18,278
- They're not even allowed at this pool.
- I can't turn my mind off.

1493
01:11:18,478 --> 01:11:20,146
- Guys. Guys. Guys.
 NICK: Will you stop it?

1494
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:24,918
Come on. Let's not argue, okay?
We came up with an awesome plan.

1495
01:11:25,51 --> 01:11:27,53
It is smart. It is mad creative.

1496
01:11:27,253 --> 01:11:29,723
You know, you boys
continue to impress me.

1497
01:11:29,989 --> 01:11:31,758
- I'm proud of you.
- Thanks, man.

1498
01:11:31,891 --> 01:11:34,227
- You came up with most of it, though.
 REX: I did not.

1499
01:11:34,394 --> 01:11:36,496
- You did.
- That is a lie. It was a team effort.

1500
01:11:36,663 --> 01:11:39,332
You came up with going into the
garage, losing the signal.

1501
01:11:39,499 --> 01:11:42,569
That was brilliant. Kurty came
up with the dark-phone business.

1502
01:11:42,702 --> 01:11:44,738
That's from "Grand
Theft Auto." I took it.

1503
01:11:44,738 --> 01:11:45,739
Genius. Dale, uh...

1504
01:11:45,905 --> 01:11:49,743
I had the thing where you go on the zip
line to the trampoline to the skateboard.

1505
01:11:49,909 --> 01:11:53,279
- Nick shot that down, if you remember.
- Yeah. It wasn't a good idea.

1506
01:11:53,413 --> 01:11:54,981
It was a bad idea,
it really was.

1507
01:11:55,148 --> 01:11:58,785
You had a lot of bad ideas though that
led to good ideas. And that is value.

1508
01:11:59,152 --> 01:12:00,587
Thanks, man.

1509
01:12:01,54 --> 01:12:03,957
All right, Nick. Look,
my word is still good.

1510
01:12:04,157 --> 01:12:07,227
You know, if you don't think
it can work, we call it off.

1511
01:12:07,894 --> 01:12:09,662
It's up to you, buddy.

1512
01:12:11,664 --> 01:12:13,466
Where do we get
untraceable phones?

1513
01:12:13,633 --> 01:12:15,835
 ALL: Ha, ha! DALE: There we go.
That's our guy.

1514
01:12:16,36 --> 01:12:18,605
- This guy.
- There we go.

1515
01:12:22,308 --> 01:12:24,310
Prepaid with bitcoins.

1516
01:12:24,477 --> 01:12:25,979
Jailbroken.

1517
01:12:26,146 --> 01:12:27,647
A hundred percent untraceable.

1518
01:12:27,814 --> 01:12:30,216
- We got it.
- Thanks. Solid. Thank you, Mother****er.

1519
01:12:30,383 --> 01:12:31,451
Good luck out there, boys.

1520
01:12:31,651 --> 01:12:33,119
 [CHUCKLES]

1521
01:12:33,853 --> 01:12:36,322
- What's that laugh about?
- I just said good luck.

1522
01:12:36,489 --> 01:12:39,492
- That was a sinister giggle.
- You said it with a sinister giggle.

1523
01:12:39,659 --> 01:12:42,629
I'm just saying that maybe you
guys might want a little advice.

1524
01:12:42,796 --> 01:12:45,632
- Boy, that was predictable. No, thanks.
- We're good.

1525
01:12:45,799 --> 01:12:49,302
- You know what, then? Get the **** on.
- That's what I said. Get the **** on.

1526
01:12:49,469 --> 01:12:51,37
- Wait a minute.
- I don't like this.

1527
01:12:51,237 --> 01:12:53,840
- I wanna hear what he has to say.
- Now you wanna hear?

1528
01:12:53,973 --> 01:12:55,208
You got one on the hook.

1529
01:12:55,208 --> 01:12:57,510
It'll cost 51 percent
share of your company.

1530
01:12:58,278 --> 01:12:59,779
You're out of your ****ing mind.

1531
01:12:59,979 --> 01:13:02,682
It's gonna cost you 2 percent
share of your company.

1532
01:13:02,849 --> 01:13:04,150
So weird how you negotiate.

1533
01:13:04,150 --> 01:13:06,319
It won't be in existence.
You can have that.

1534
01:13:06,453 --> 01:13:09,622
- There's a middle ground.
- Here's the advice, young men.

1535
01:13:11,491 --> 01:13:13,326
Y'all criminals.

1536
01:13:13,860 --> 01:13:16,162
- It's never good advice.
- I can't find the advice.

1537
01:13:16,296 --> 01:13:19,532
It's not even true, actually.
We're not criminals. All right?

1538
01:13:19,699 --> 01:13:21,368
 DALE: We got clicked into this.
- Shut up.

1539
01:13:21,534 --> 01:13:24,37
See, you can't have
this both ways.

1540
01:13:24,170 --> 01:13:28,41
Every time you guys come here, you're like,
"We're a bunch of happy-go-lucky guys.

1541
01:13:28,174 --> 01:13:31,344
Through no fault of our own, we
found ourselves in another pickle.

1542
01:13:31,511 --> 01:13:34,314
We can't get our fingers out
of our asses." **** that.

1543
01:13:34,547 --> 01:13:37,317
You're ****ing criminals. You've
tried to kill your bosses.

1544
01:13:37,450 --> 01:13:41,988
One of them ended up dead. And now
you want to perpetrate a kidnapping?

1545
01:13:42,155 --> 01:13:46,559
You three are the craziest mother****ing
criminals I've ever seen in my life.

1546
01:13:46,993 --> 01:13:48,328
You wanna pull this *** off?

1547
01:13:49,629 --> 01:13:50,897
You gotta act like it.

1548
01:13:52,65 --> 01:13:53,66
Word.

1549
01:14:03,943 --> 01:14:05,512
Oh. That was embarrassing.

1550
01:14:05,679 --> 01:14:07,747
We're trying to do a
super cool slow-mo walk.

1551
01:14:07,914 --> 01:14:09,416
- Come on, man.
-  [IN SLOW VOICE] Easy.

1552
01:14:09,516 --> 01:14:11,284
- It's over. Let's go.
- Where you going?

1553
01:14:11,418 --> 01:14:14,387
- Moronic idea. I am mortified.
- Come on, man. Let's do the walk.

1554
01:14:14,554 --> 01:14:16,22
You gotta stick with it.

1555
01:14:19,859 --> 01:14:22,228
What do you think? Should
I beat myself up more?

1556
01:14:22,395 --> 01:14:26,199
No, you don't need to hit yourself anymore.
I think we should just make the call.

1557
01:14:26,332 --> 01:14:29,436
Hold on. Before we kick this thing
off, can I just say something?

1558
01:14:29,903 --> 01:14:34,374
I'm not really, ugh, good at this
kind of thing, you know? Um...

1559
01:14:34,541 --> 01:14:37,577
My mom died when I
was 4, and, um...

1560
01:14:38,678 --> 01:14:41,281
You know, when you're
raised by Bert Hanson...

1561
01:14:41,614 --> 01:14:43,383
...most of your friends
are ***heads.

1562
01:14:43,983 --> 01:14:45,618
Um...

1563
01:14:45,785 --> 01:14:48,922
Yeah. I know I dragged you guys
into this, but I'm not sorry.

1564
01:14:50,23 --> 01:14:51,424
Because...

1565
01:14:52,258 --> 01:14:54,327
...I'm really glad
I met you guys.

1566
01:14:54,461 --> 01:14:57,63
Anyway, I want you
guys to have this.

1567
01:14:57,297 --> 01:14:59,466
- What is it?
- It's an actual fang from Predator.

1568
01:14:59,632 --> 01:15:01,67
-  Predator the movie? REX: Yep.

1569
01:15:02,369 --> 01:15:03,436
I want you to have it.

1570
01:15:03,570 --> 01:15:04,804
 DALE: For real? - Swear to God.

1571
01:15:05,372 --> 01:15:06,473
 REX: Do you like Predator?

1572
01:15:07,507 --> 01:15:08,775
Yeah, I like Predator.

1573
01:15:08,975 --> 01:15:12,145
 REX: Kurty?
- Yeah. Yeah, I like Predator too.

1574
01:15:12,312 --> 01:15:15,281
I mean "also," not the sequel.

1575
01:15:15,415 --> 01:15:16,883
- Nick?
- Oh, well...

1576
01:15:17,17 --> 01:15:20,320
...I didn't like Predator
when I first saw it...

1577
01:15:20,453 --> 01:15:23,323
...but it grew on
me quite a bit.

1578
01:15:24,391 --> 01:15:26,159
I like Predator a great deal.

1579
01:15:28,495 --> 01:15:31,664
Are we talking about him or Predator?
I'm terrible with metaphors.

1580
01:15:31,831 --> 01:15:34,34
- Let's make the phone call.
- It was lost on me.

1581
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,268
Most things are.

1582
01:15:35,435 --> 01:15:37,470
 [CHATTERING ON RADIOS]

1583
01:15:38,138 --> 01:15:39,839
 [CELL PHONE RINGING]

1584
01:15:40,907 --> 01:15:41,941
Yeah.

1585
01:15:42,142 --> 01:15:43,476
 [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]
You got that cash?

1586
01:15:43,610 --> 01:15:45,345
-  Yeah, I got it. NICK: Yeah.

1587
01:15:45,512 --> 01:15:48,114
Now, I want you to sashay up
to the 4th Street Bridge.

1588
01:15:48,248 --> 01:15:51,184
You're gonna find a bench about
halfway up, take a load off.

1589
01:15:51,351 --> 01:15:54,521
And you bring the amount that we
agreed upon and you come alone.

1590
01:15:54,654 --> 01:15:57,991
And if you do, you will find your son
returned home lickety-splickety.

1591
01:16:00,193 --> 01:16:03,96
Fourth Street Bridge, he's gonna
have him drop it over the side.

1592
01:16:03,263 --> 01:16:07,200
Now, I want every inch covered, but
everyone holds a safe distance.

1593
01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:09,502
Yeah, but not too safe a distance.
Understand?

1594
01:16:09,669 --> 01:16:12,205
This bag is your number
****ing one priority.

1595
01:16:12,539 --> 01:16:15,375
No, actually, your son's life
is our number one priority.

1596
01:16:15,542 --> 01:16:16,876
Yeah, you know what I mean.

1597
01:16:17,677 --> 01:16:20,714
Yeah, I think I do.

1598
01:16:32,559 --> 01:16:34,194
Does anybody have a visual?

1599
01:16:35,328 --> 01:16:36,930
Bridge is still clear, chief.

1600
01:16:37,63 --> 01:16:39,499
Hanson approaching.
ETA, two minutes.

1601
01:16:43,36 --> 01:16:44,604
The Blade is in position.

1602
01:16:45,438 --> 01:16:47,540
Majestic, in position.

1603
01:16:48,8 --> 01:16:50,310
I am in...

1604
01:16:51,378 --> 01:16:53,546
Kill Shot is in position.

1605
01:16:53,813 --> 01:16:56,282
- Whoa, "Kill Shot"?
- Yeah, I wanna be Kill Shot.

1606
01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:59,819
- Then you are Kill Shot. I love it.
- Pretty sweet name there, Nick.

1607
01:16:59,986 --> 01:17:02,922
Ooh. We don't wanna use real names
if we're using code names, Dale.

1608
01:17:03,89 --> 01:17:04,290
Don't say my name, Kurt.

1609
01:17:04,290 --> 01:17:06,426
Mine was an accident.
Yours was on purpose.

1610
01:17:06,593 --> 01:17:08,595
- I don't think yours was an accident.
- What?

1611
01:17:08,728 --> 01:17:10,864
Why are we on walkie-talkies
in the same room?

1612
01:17:11,64 --> 01:17:12,399
We're checking the equipment.

1613
01:17:12,532 --> 01:17:14,934
We don't need to. He's
on a TV remote control.

1614
01:17:15,101 --> 01:17:17,337
I was trying to participate.
I didn't have anything to...

1615
01:17:17,437 --> 01:17:21,107
 KURT: Hey. Hold up. The Blade's got
a visual. He's here. He's here.

1616
01:17:21,274 --> 01:17:22,542
 DALE: Here we go.
 NICK: Oh, ***.

1617
01:17:22,709 --> 01:17:25,712
- All right. Kill Shot, make the call.
- I'm dialing. Here we go.

1618
01:17:25,879 --> 01:17:26,913
 DALE: Oh, my God.

1619
01:17:27,80 --> 01:17:28,581
 [CELL PHONE RINGING]

1620
01:17:28,748 --> 01:17:30,350
Hey, what's that?
Who's calling you?

1621
01:17:30,917 --> 01:17:32,619
- I don't know. It's blocked.
- Oh, no.

1622
01:17:33,186 --> 01:17:34,587
- Hello.

1623
01:17:34,754 --> 01:17:37,123
- Who is this?
- It's me, ****less.

1624
01:17:37,290 --> 01:17:39,192
You're supposed to
call the dark phone.

1625
01:17:39,392 --> 01:17:42,28
It's in your hand. You were
to tape that under the bench.

1626
01:17:42,228 --> 01:17:44,297
No, that's not... Oh, wait.

1627
01:17:57,210 --> 01:17:58,645
 KURT: Oh.

1628
01:17:58,812 --> 01:18:00,980
Oh, ***. So, what
phone does he have?

1629
01:18:01,147 --> 01:18:04,384
Bert has Kurt's phone with our
contact information on it.

1630
01:18:04,551 --> 01:18:07,120
And the pictures of us from
when we used to be friends?

1631
01:18:07,253 --> 01:18:09,389
Knock it off. Look,
this is no big deal.

1632
01:18:09,589 --> 01:18:12,892
We'll do it tomorrow. As long as we
don't call, he'll never find it.

1633
01:18:13,59 --> 01:18:14,60
 NICK: He found it.

1634
01:18:14,427 --> 01:18:15,695
- He what? How?
- We are screwed.

1635
01:18:15,862 --> 01:18:16,529
***.

1636
01:18:16,529 --> 01:18:18,531
Wait, wait, wait. I got an idea.
I got an idea.

1637
01:18:18,665 --> 01:18:21,668
Call your phone. If he's talking,
he's not gonna look through it.

1638
01:18:21,835 --> 01:18:23,403
- What's your number?
- You don't know?

1639
01:18:23,536 --> 01:18:26,272
 DALE: I don't know my number.
- I don't know. I never call myself.

1640
01:18:26,439 --> 01:18:28,174
I know both of your numbers.
323...

1641
01:18:28,341 --> 01:18:30,243
That's all I need. I got there.
Here we go.

1642
01:18:30,276 --> 01:18:30,910
Okay, yes.

1643
01:18:31,111 --> 01:18:33,313
- Here we go. Okay. All right. Ahem.
- Right, okay.

1644
01:18:34,80 --> 01:18:35,782
 [KATY PERRY'S "ROAR"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

1645
01:18:35,982 --> 01:18:39,419
Call coming in.
"Roar" by Katy Perry.

1646
01:18:39,819 --> 01:18:41,821
These guys are confident.

1647
01:18:42,288 --> 01:18:43,456
 BERT: Yeah, hello.

1648
01:18:43,623 --> 01:18:45,392
 [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Look like
the grasshopper found himself...

1649
01:18:45,558 --> 01:18:48,161
...a blade of grass to sit upon.
- Too much.

1650
01:18:48,294 --> 01:18:51,364
-  [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Hello.
- Let's get this over with, pretend cowboy.

1651
01:18:51,531 --> 01:18:54,100
Now, listen, I need you to
proceed to the Mandrake Hotel.

1652
01:18:54,267 --> 01:18:58,238
I need you to go underground into parking.
I need you to get to Spot 4421.

1653
01:18:58,438 --> 01:19:00,840
You're gonna see a big old bag there.
Fill it up.

1654
01:19:00,974 --> 01:19:05,345
And then I need you to proceed north onto
Figueroa and await further instructions.

1655
01:19:05,512 --> 01:19:06,546
Wait, wait.

1656
01:19:06,713 --> 01:19:10,850
And don't think we don't know you got the
law with you. That's something we do know.

1657
01:19:10,984 --> 01:19:14,187
All right? So if any of them cavalry
follow you down in the garage...

1658
01:19:14,354 --> 01:19:17,590
...I'm personally gonna stick a hot
poker so far up your son's ass...

1659
01:19:17,757 --> 01:19:21,461
...I'm gonna pop his
teeth like popcorn!

1660
01:19:22,295 --> 01:19:23,596
See? We're back on track.

1661
01:19:24,464 --> 01:19:26,700
I gotta get that phone back.
So many **** pics.

1662
01:19:26,866 --> 01:19:28,635
- Really?
- Yeah, not all mine, though.

1663
01:19:29,135 --> 01:19:32,839
With game-time traffic, he could be here
in less than 10 minutes. How we doing?

1664
01:19:32,972 --> 01:19:35,75
 KURT: Almost done.
- Where are the bellhop costumes?

1665
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:36,409
 NICK: What? - Bellhop costumes.

1666
01:19:36,543 --> 01:19:39,479
Aren't we dressed as bellhops
when we escape with the money?

1667
01:19:39,612 --> 01:19:41,147
This place doesn't
have bellhops.

1668
01:19:41,348 --> 01:19:42,382
- It doesn't?
- No.

1669
01:19:42,549 --> 01:19:45,18
I thought there was supposed
to be some sweet-ass...

1670
01:19:45,218 --> 01:19:47,387
- What the **** are these?
- It's not Halloween.

1671
01:19:47,554 --> 01:19:49,823
- Best I could do on short notice.
- It's not scary.

1672
01:19:49,989 --> 01:19:52,58
- Hey, how do I look?
- Who the hell are you?

1673
01:19:52,225 --> 01:19:53,860
- It's me, Kurt.
- I know that part.

1674
01:19:54,60 --> 01:19:56,863
Terrible. You don't look like
Bert, you look like Mark Twain.

1675
01:19:57,63 --> 01:20:00,734
None of this is like I pictured when we
were planning it. Everything was cooler.

1676
01:20:00,934 --> 01:20:03,136
He just has to look
good from a distance.

1677
01:20:03,303 --> 01:20:05,372
- Here we go. Let's do it.
- Let's roll.

1678
01:20:09,709 --> 01:20:11,177
What? She's making us **** her.

1679
01:20:11,344 --> 01:20:13,146
- I'm not gonna **** anyone.
- Thank you.

1680
01:20:13,279 --> 01:20:15,682
I'm willing to make love to
her, if that's required.

1681
01:20:15,849 --> 01:20:18,18
 DALE: Are you serious?
- Uh, can I borrow this razor?

1682
01:20:18,485 --> 01:20:19,619
Yeah. Go nuts.

1683
01:20:19,786 --> 01:20:21,921
Any requests? Landing strip?
Dinner roll?

1684
01:20:22,88 --> 01:20:24,391
Uh, whatever's there. We're in a rush.
Thanks.

1685
01:20:28,661 --> 01:20:30,930
 STACY: Ha. - All right?

1686
01:20:32,165 --> 01:20:33,233
- Stacy.
- Oh, no.

1687
01:20:33,366 --> 01:20:35,301
- How did you find me?
- Been there a while?

1688
01:20:35,668 --> 01:20:37,270
Find My iPhone.

1689
01:20:37,971 --> 01:20:40,106
- I knew you were cheating on me.
 DALE: No, I'm not.

1690
01:20:40,240 --> 01:20:42,275
He's not. We're trying
to stay out of prison.

1691
01:20:42,308 --> 01:20:42,976
Prison?

1692
01:20:43,143 --> 01:20:44,344
No one's going to prison.

1693
01:20:44,477 --> 01:20:47,447
- Because we were gonna kidnap someone.
- Kidnapping?

1694
01:20:47,614 --> 01:20:50,50
- No. First, the man kidnapped himself.
- That's right.

1695
01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:52,252
 DALE: He forced us...
- Dale wouldn't even do puss.

1696
01:20:52,419 --> 01:20:55,155
- I didn't even wanna do the puss.
- I chose ass both times.

1697
01:20:55,288 --> 01:20:59,25
I said puss will make me the most guilty.
You're not helping me! Shut up!

1698
01:20:59,159 --> 01:21:01,127
Look, uh, this is such
a stupid thing, honey.

1699
01:21:01,294 --> 01:21:03,730
And easy, and nothing ***ual
is even happening here.

1700
01:21:03,930 --> 01:21:06,866
Come on, Dale, this *****
isn't gonna eat itself.

1701
01:21:08,168 --> 01:21:09,169
- Julia?
- Stacy.

1702
01:21:09,335 --> 01:21:10,537
And the babies.

1703
01:21:10,737 --> 01:21:13,773
Look at those babies. Oh, Dale,
they look just like you.

1704
01:21:13,940 --> 01:21:15,442
- Listen to me.
- You are sick.

1705
01:21:15,642 --> 01:21:19,245
 DALE: I'm not sick. Please. Can I just...?
- Do not follow me. Do not follow me.

1706
01:21:19,579 --> 01:21:20,780
You ****ing *****.

1707
01:21:26,586 --> 01:21:28,888
Is that what you want?
Nice and wet in here.

1708
01:21:29,89 --> 01:21:30,123
 [JULIA SHRIEKS]

1709
01:21:30,290 --> 01:21:31,524
 [BANGING ON DOOR]

1710
01:21:31,691 --> 01:21:34,661
- I can't save my marriage from prison.
- No, you can't.

1711
01:21:34,828 --> 01:21:36,496
- Great, Dale.
- Let's roll.

1712
01:21:42,569 --> 01:21:44,371
- We lost the wire.
- ***.

1713
01:21:44,537 --> 01:21:46,539
Should we send in an unmarked?

1714
01:21:46,740 --> 01:21:48,908
We can't risk it.
We'll hold here.

1715
01:22:03,923 --> 01:22:05,992
NICK  [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Hello.
Howdy-do.

1716
01:22:06,159 --> 01:22:07,660
 DALE: You go on this side.
 KURT: Stop.

1717
01:22:07,761 --> 01:22:09,195
 NICK: Hey.

1718
01:22:09,329 --> 01:22:10,630
What the **** is this?

1719
01:22:10,764 --> 01:22:13,99
I do not need that sass-mouth.
What I need

1720
01:22:13,99 --> 01:22:15,535
is that sack of cash.
Now, get it over here.

1721
01:22:16,36 --> 01:22:18,705
Don't you throw it at me. You slide it.
Do it again.

1722
01:22:18,905 --> 01:22:20,640
- No, we'll keep it here.
 KURT: Check it.

1723
01:22:23,810 --> 01:22:25,745
 DALE: Holy ***.
 KURT: Lookie there.

1724
01:22:25,879 --> 01:22:27,881
 DALE: We did it. NICK:
There's a pretty bag.

1725
01:22:28,48 --> 01:22:30,417
Okay. All right. Hey.
I'll also take that

1726
01:22:30,450 --> 01:22:33,53
phone you took from the
bottom of that bench.

1727
01:22:33,219 --> 01:22:34,387
What?

1728
01:22:34,587 --> 01:22:37,590
- The cell phone. Give me the cell phone.
 NICK: Throw the phone to him.

1729
01:22:37,724 --> 01:22:40,493
Now that fancy jacket
and that snappy tie.

1730
01:22:40,660 --> 01:22:42,495
- Get them off. Get them over.
- No.

1731
01:22:42,662 --> 01:22:44,264
- He say "no"? DALE:
I think he said no.

1732
01:22:44,397 --> 01:22:45,398
But we got this.

1733
01:22:45,565 --> 01:22:48,334
- Don't make me use this six-shooter.
 DALE: Man's got a shooter.

1734
01:22:48,802 --> 01:22:50,270
You make me sick.

1735
01:22:50,403 --> 01:22:53,373
You're what's wrong with America.
Everyone just wants a handout.

1736
01:22:53,540 --> 01:22:56,743
Take, take, take from the people
who earn their money honestly.

1737
01:22:56,943 --> 01:22:59,746
 DALE: All right, let's not chitchat now.
The man does have a gun.

1738
01:22:59,946 --> 01:23:02,649
 NICK: You got a real lip on you.
I will shoot you in the chest.

1739
01:23:02,849 --> 01:23:04,851
Well, go ahead. Shoot me.

1740
01:23:05,18 --> 01:23:08,321
- You don't have the balls.
- Yeah, he does. He got big old balls.

1741
01:23:08,488 --> 01:23:10,457
Big mouth. Nothing behind it.

1742
01:23:13,259 --> 01:23:14,361
 DALE: Dude. NICK: Oh, my God.

1743
01:23:14,527 --> 01:23:15,762
- What the ****?
- Oh, my God.

1744
01:23:15,929 --> 01:23:16,996
What did you do?

1745
01:23:17,163 --> 01:23:18,598
- You shot him.
- No, I didn't.

1746
01:23:18,732 --> 01:23:20,867
- You did.
- That was not supposed to be loaded.

1747
01:23:21,0 --> 01:23:23,103
 KURT: What do you mean?
 NICK: That's not my fault.

1748
01:23:23,303 --> 01:23:24,437
- Oh, my God.
- Wait, hold...

1749
01:23:24,604 --> 01:23:26,339
 [REX LAUGHING]

1750
01:23:34,614 --> 01:23:38,151
Man. You should've seen
your faces right now...

1751
01:23:38,284 --> 01:23:39,986
...when you started
blaming each other.

1752
01:23:40,120 --> 01:23:42,22
 [CONTINUES LAUGHING]

1753
01:23:42,355 --> 01:23:43,623
What's happening right now?

1754
01:23:44,224 --> 01:23:45,692
I'm ****ing you over.

1755
01:23:45,892 --> 01:23:49,662
- No, no. But we're all friends now.
- We are, but what a great twist, right?

1756
01:23:49,796 --> 01:23:53,767
At first I was just gonna take all the
money and throw you guys under the bus.

1757
01:23:53,933 --> 01:23:55,301
I mean, come on. Duh.

1758
01:23:55,435 --> 01:23:59,739
But then when Dad called the cops and
proved he doesn't give a **** about me...

1759
01:24:00,306 --> 01:24:02,575
...I realized, why take a
few of his millions...

1760
01:24:02,742 --> 01:24:05,779
...when I can inherit all of them
and you guys can take the fall?

1761
01:24:05,945 --> 01:24:08,114
In minutes, the police
will be down here and

1762
01:24:08,148 --> 01:24:10,250
discover that you killed
my poor father...

1763
01:24:10,417 --> 01:24:13,86
...with a gun you stole from
my room when you abducted me.

1764
01:24:13,253 --> 01:24:14,788
That is a lie!

1765
01:24:16,322 --> 01:24:18,858
- He knows.
- He knows. He knows.

1766
01:24:19,59 --> 01:24:22,662
Don't worry, guys- I'll
take it from here.

1767
01:24:22,862 --> 01:24:24,497
Sorry, Rex.

1768
01:24:24,864 --> 01:24:25,865
But we got you.

1769
01:24:25,999 --> 01:24:28,101
REX  [ON RECORDING]: Why take
 a few of his millions...

1770
01:24:28,268 --> 01:24:30,837
...when I can inherit all of them
and you guys can take the fall?

1771
01:24:30,970 --> 01:24:32,639
Ooh. Checkmate, *****.

1772
01:24:32,806 --> 01:24:34,708
 [KURT AND DALE CHUCKLING]

1773
01:24:36,543 --> 01:24:39,12
- All right, here. Let's have that.
- Yeah. Yeah.

1774
01:24:39,179 --> 01:24:41,181
- No, I... Right. Sorry.
 REX: Thanks, man.

1775
01:24:41,681 --> 01:24:44,384
Didn't wanna hold onto
that for two more minutes?

1776
01:24:44,584 --> 01:24:46,486
 KURT: No, that was a gift.

1777
01:24:47,187 --> 01:24:49,989
- Did you park the Prius in the back alley?
- I sure did.

1778
01:24:50,123 --> 01:24:52,258
- Do you have the keys?
- Here you go.

1779
01:24:53,226 --> 01:24:54,527
 [SIGHS]

1780
01:24:55,729 --> 01:24:57,931
I'm really proud of you guys.

1781
01:24:58,465 --> 01:25:01,968
Seriously. You pulled together. You
worked like a team. Just like we planned.

1782
01:25:02,302 --> 01:25:04,337
Dale, we had a lot of laughs.

1783
01:25:04,504 --> 01:25:07,73
I really appreciate it. I
mean, you made me smile.

1784
01:25:08,641 --> 01:25:11,978
Nick, I want you to smile more. You know?
Look at those frown lines.

1785
01:25:12,579 --> 01:25:14,647
Take a vacation. Lighten up.

1786
01:25:15,415 --> 01:25:17,384
Kurt, I think I'm gonna
miss you the most.

1787
01:25:17,384 --> 01:25:18,51
Why?

1788
01:25:18,218 --> 01:25:19,886
Okay.

1789
01:25:20,53 --> 01:25:21,187
Bye.

1790
01:25:21,321 --> 01:25:22,389
Catch.

1791
01:25:22,555 --> 01:25:23,723
- Don't...
- Goddamn it.

1792
01:25:23,890 --> 01:25:26,526
Sorry. I just have good hands.
****. Hang on a second.

1793
01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,61
Hey, freeze. Freeze.

1794
01:25:28,228 --> 01:25:31,64
Ha, ha. Dale, come on. You think
I'd give you a loaded gun?

1795
01:25:31,264 --> 01:25:32,298
 [GUN CLICKS]

1796
01:25:32,465 --> 01:25:33,566
Ah, ***.

1797
01:25:34,200 --> 01:25:37,904
I gotta get going. Gotta wait to be saved
at the warehouse by the cops. See you.

1798
01:25:39,739 --> 01:25:43,576
Oh, ***. Good luck talking to the cops.
You have your dad's blood all over... Oh!

1799
01:25:43,743 --> 01:25:47,414
- Can we not keep anything to ourselves?
- **** me. I'm so sorry.

1800
01:25:47,580 --> 01:25:49,683
That's worse than what I did.
What did I do?

1801
01:25:49,716 --> 01:25:51,785
You're friends with him.
You introduced me.

1802
01:25:51,918 --> 01:25:54,854
We're not gonna be afraid of an
unloaded gun, Rex, you dip***.

1803
01:25:55,21 --> 01:25:58,625
 DALE: He's got bullets. He's got bullets.
 KURT: He's got bullets? ****ing hell.

1804
01:25:59,25 --> 01:26:00,694
Kurt, what are you? A 32 waist?

1805
01:26:00,860 --> 01:26:03,363
- Oh, dear God. He's gonna rape us.
- No.

1806
01:26:03,563 --> 01:26:06,99
- Oh, you just want my...
- He just wants the pants.

1807
01:26:09,202 --> 01:26:10,670
 [CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

1808
01:26:12,605 --> 01:26:16,609
All-time ***tiest idea you guys ever had.
Can't believe you talked me into this.

1809
01:26:16,776 --> 01:26:18,912
- This guy's dead now.
 DALE: I know that.

1810
01:26:19,79 --> 01:26:21,81
- He's dead.
- We should've stayed cogs.

1811
01:26:21,247 --> 01:26:24,17
This is taking too damn long.

1812
01:26:24,718 --> 01:26:25,952
***.

1813
01:26:26,286 --> 01:26:28,588
This isn't about the bag.

1814
01:26:28,722 --> 01:26:30,590
This is the goddamn drop.

1815
01:26:30,724 --> 01:26:33,827
Move in. Everybody move in now.

1816
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,829
 [SIRENS WAILING]

1817
01:26:35,962 --> 01:26:38,932
- Take off the incriminating pants.
- Run around in my underwear?

1818
01:26:39,99 --> 01:26:41,468
Why not throw the body in the trunk?
We got 5 million bucks.

1819
01:26:41,601 --> 01:26:43,737
There's police everywhere.
We're not gonna get away.

1820
01:26:43,903 --> 01:26:45,105
 [TIRES SCREECHING]

1821
01:26:45,238 --> 01:26:46,806
Oh, ***.

1822
01:26:50,477 --> 01:26:53,346
- Grab the bag. Get the **** in.
- Why?

1823
01:26:53,480 --> 01:26:56,149
Lead the cops to that warehouse
before your boy gets there.

1824
01:26:57,83 --> 01:27:01,287
If they see him out walking free, they
just might believe your ass. Let's go.

1825
01:27:02,322 --> 01:27:03,323
Get the money.

1826
01:27:08,962 --> 01:27:10,697
 [ALL YELLING]

1827
01:27:18,38 --> 01:27:19,806
Hey. Hey, guys-

1828
01:27:19,973 --> 01:27:22,8
Goddamn it. It's those idiots.

1829
01:27:22,175 --> 01:27:25,245
I knew I never said
anything about kidnapping.

1830
01:27:25,412 --> 01:27:26,479
Come on. Let's go.

1831
01:27:26,479 --> 01:27:29,82
Following us is already
a part of their plan.

1832
01:27:29,249 --> 01:27:32,452
 KURT: You never know. Wanna make sure.
 DALE: What is the seat-belt situation?

1833
01:27:32,619 --> 01:27:34,354
- I got mine.
- We should put them on.

1834
01:27:34,487 --> 01:27:36,923
- Can I get under yours?
- Hold on to the dashboard.

1835
01:27:39,59 --> 01:27:40,460
 DALE: ***.
- This is the wrong way.

1836
01:27:40,627 --> 01:27:43,96
This is the wrong way. Turn around.
Stop the car.

1837
01:27:44,297 --> 01:27:45,765
- Who you texting?
- My lady.

1838
01:27:45,932 --> 01:27:49,69
 NICK: Put it down.
- If I don't check in, she goes crazy.

1839
01:27:53,807 --> 01:27:56,76
By the way, what the
hell were you doing back

1840
01:27:56,76 --> 01:27:58,111
there in that garage
in the first place?

1841
01:27:59,612 --> 01:28:01,47
What's that, now?

1842
01:28:01,214 --> 01:28:02,482
- Holy ***.
- What's going on?

1843
01:28:02,682 --> 01:28:04,918
You were down there to
steal the ransom money.

1844
01:28:05,85 --> 01:28:06,619
Listen, I hustle, I don't steal.

1845
01:28:06,786 --> 01:28:09,456
What the **** does that...? What
were you doing in the garage?

1846
01:28:09,622 --> 01:28:10,990
 [TIRES SCREECH]

1847
01:28:11,124 --> 01:28:12,826
 JONES: I was thinking
there was a chance...

1848
01:28:12,959 --> 01:28:15,662
...the drop might go south, and
that guy would kill y'all.

1849
01:28:15,795 --> 01:28:18,765
And in such a scenario, you'd
rather me have the cash than him.

1850
01:28:18,932 --> 01:28:21,468
- He was betting against us.
- You mother****er.

1851
01:28:21,601 --> 01:28:25,238
- I was honoring your potential death.
 DALE: Honoring us?

1852
01:28:25,405 --> 01:28:26,473
What are we, samurai?

1853
01:28:26,606 --> 01:28:28,608
Wait, hold on. Oh, hey. Train.

1854
01:28:28,775 --> 01:28:30,810
- Train! Train! Train!
- Train!

1855
01:28:33,680 --> 01:28:34,848
 [TRAIN HORN WAILING]

1856
01:28:37,584 --> 01:28:38,985
 DALE: Nice! Woo-hoo!
 NICK: Damn it.

1857
01:28:39,119 --> 01:28:40,687
That's how you lose the cops.

1858
01:28:40,854 --> 01:28:43,656
- We're not supposed to lose the cops.
- Don't lose the cops.

1859
01:28:45,458 --> 01:28:46,860
 DALE: That's the whole idea.

1860
01:28:47,27 --> 01:28:49,329
- It was a good thought.
- Going back. This is great.

1861
01:28:49,529 --> 01:28:51,865
 NICK: I wish you'd slow down.
You wouldn't make mistakes.

1862
01:28:51,998 --> 01:28:54,634
 DALE: Don't criticize the man.
He's doing the best he can.

1863
01:28:56,36 --> 01:28:58,4
Here, I'll let them know.
Hold on.

1864
01:28:58,371 --> 01:29:00,840
Hey. We're back.
We'll stay here...

1865
01:29:01,408 --> 01:29:03,243
...till all this *** goes by.

1866
01:29:03,410 --> 01:29:04,711
Then we'll all roll.

1867
01:29:05,211 --> 01:29:07,847
What the **** are
these ******** doing?

1868
01:29:08,48 --> 01:29:10,183
- They get that?
- Yeah, I think so.

1869
01:29:10,316 --> 01:29:12,686
- What's that you're carrying around?
 KURT: What is that?

1870
01:29:12,852 --> 01:29:14,187
It's for my kitties.

1871
01:29:14,320 --> 01:29:15,755
- You got kittens?
- Surprising.

1872
01:29:15,922 --> 01:29:18,792
- I can't have kittens?
- Why you always jumping on everything?

1873
01:29:18,925 --> 01:29:21,194
It's weird you're hauling
around a cat stand.

1874
01:29:21,227 --> 01:29:21,995
I love *****.

1875
01:29:22,295 --> 01:29:25,131
- Hey, can I hop out and piss?
- No. We're in a car chase.

1876
01:29:25,298 --> 01:29:27,500
Super long train. I
feel I could get it done.

1877
01:29:27,500 --> 01:29:28,702
It is a lot of freight.

1878
01:29:28,835 --> 01:29:30,570
 [CROSSING BELL RINGING]

1879
01:29:32,639 --> 01:29:35,308
 [TOTO'S "HOLD THE LINE"
PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]

1880
01:29:36,643 --> 01:29:40,347
Hold the line It
probably needs...

1881
01:29:40,480 --> 01:29:43,83
Love isn't always
on time  [GRUNTING]

1882
01:29:45,885 --> 01:29:46,886
 [COUGHS THEN LAUGHS]

1883
01:29:47,87 --> 01:29:48,655
Hold the line

1884
01:29:48,822 --> 01:29:51,424
It's just too goddamn easy.

1885
01:30:28,128 --> 01:30:31,297
- I feel like I could have pissed by now.
- Let him go. Open the door.

1886
01:30:31,464 --> 01:30:33,299
- Caboose coming.
- Ah, ***.

1887
01:30:35,769 --> 01:30:37,370
 [SIRENS WAILING]

1888
01:30:48,615 --> 01:30:50,283
Oh, ***. Cops.

1889
01:30:51,785 --> 01:30:53,86
- Cops. Cops.
- ***.

1890
01:30:55,955 --> 01:30:57,691
 JONES: What happened?
- You lost your stuff.

1891
01:30:57,824 --> 01:31:00,60
- What? Damn it.
- Yeah, you lost your cat stuff.

1892
01:31:01,428 --> 01:31:03,730
 NICK: Okay, there's a man there.
Watch out for him.

1893
01:31:03,897 --> 01:31:04,931
Hey! Hey! Hey!

1894
01:31:06,800 --> 01:31:08,902
- Hey, we're boxed in here.
- Not for long.

1895
01:31:09,35 --> 01:31:11,805
 NICK: No, no, no.
- I've always wanted to do this.

1896
01:31:11,971 --> 01:31:14,274
 [OMD'S "lF YOU LEAVE"
PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]

1897
01:31:14,407 --> 01:31:16,376
Gotta make it last

1898
01:31:16,543 --> 01:31:18,345
 [SINGING] I touch you once

1899
01:31:18,478 --> 01:31:20,580
I touch you twice

1900
01:31:33,927 --> 01:31:35,128
***.

1901
01:31:42,402 --> 01:31:43,770
What?

1902
01:31:47,941 --> 01:31:49,9
So where is this place?

1903
01:31:49,209 --> 01:31:51,411
It's up here. Under the bridge.

1904
01:31:52,178 --> 01:31:55,81
 NICK: What are you doing?
- You're supposed to go under the bridge.

1905
01:31:55,248 --> 01:31:57,183
 JONES: Relax.

1906
01:32:01,388 --> 01:32:03,390
- The wheels are locked.
 NICK: Pump the brakes.

1907
01:32:03,523 --> 01:32:05,25
 DALE: Shift down.
- Put it in park.

1908
01:32:05,158 --> 01:32:06,226
 JONES: I can't think.

1909
01:32:07,27 --> 01:32:09,496
 [ALL SHOUTING AND YELLING]

1910
01:32:19,739 --> 01:32:21,241
 JONES: Bet y'all
loving this fence now.

1911
01:32:21,408 --> 01:32:23,9
 KURT: I've come around to
the whole fence thing.

1912
01:32:23,209 --> 01:32:25,178
 DALE: I would've loved
a seat belt too.

1913
01:32:25,378 --> 01:32:27,847
 NICK: Well, what's the next
part of the plan, Mother****er?

1914
01:32:32,686 --> 01:32:33,687
 [KURT GRUNTS]

1915
01:32:34,654 --> 01:32:35,889
 NICK: Ow.

1916
01:32:36,89 --> 01:32:37,924
 [SIRENS WAILING NEARBY]

1917
01:32:41,728 --> 01:32:43,163
There. There. There.

1918
01:32:54,607 --> 01:32:56,309
 [ALL GROAN]

1919
01:32:56,443 --> 01:32:58,611
- Hey. Hey, he's not here.
We beat him. KURT: What?

1920
01:32:58,778 --> 01:32:59,946
- We beat him.
- Hey.

1921
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:01,581
 DALE: Ha, ha! - Hey, nice job...

1922
01:33:01,748 --> 01:33:04,884
- Where's Mother****er?
- I don't know.

1923
01:33:05,652 --> 01:33:06,720
 NICK: Cops. Cops.

1924
01:33:11,91 --> 01:33:12,525
Hey-

1925
01:33:15,28 --> 01:33:16,363
- Get out of the car.
 KURT: Easy.

1926
01:33:16,529 --> 01:33:19,532
 HATCHER: Hands up. NICK: Relax.
Please, put your guns down.

1927
01:33:19,699 --> 01:33:21,935
We didn't kill anybody.
I swear to God.

1928
01:33:22,102 --> 01:33:24,270
I don't give a goddamn.
Tell it to the judge.

1929
01:33:24,270 --> 01:33:25,538
We didn't kidnap anybody.

1930
01:33:25,705 --> 01:33:28,8
He kidnapped himself. He'll
sneak in any second.

1931
01:33:28,174 --> 01:33:30,310
He was supposed to be
tied up to that chair.

1932
01:33:30,343 --> 01:33:31,244
Right behind you.

1933
01:33:31,611 --> 01:33:33,680
Who? Him?

1934
01:33:34,547 --> 01:33:35,749
 DALE: Yeah.

1935
01:33:35,882 --> 01:33:37,684
Aw, that looks bad.
That looks bad.

1936
01:33:37,851 --> 01:33:40,186
- This ****ing guy. KURT:
You gotta believe us.

1937
01:33:40,320 --> 01:33:44,190
That's them. Those three, they tortured me,
then said they were gonna kill my dad.

1938
01:33:44,324 --> 01:33:46,493
- Oh, don't listen to that.
- That's garbage.

1939
01:33:46,860 --> 01:33:49,429
Tell me he's okay. Please.

1940
01:33:49,562 --> 01:33:51,898
- I'm sorry, son.
-  [WHIMPERING] No.

1941
01:33:53,199 --> 01:33:55,368
- No. DALE: He
killed his father.

1942
01:33:55,535 --> 01:33:58,171
- He's a very strong actor. Bravo.
- Don't buy it.

1943
01:33:58,338 --> 01:34:00,240
 HATCHER: Get on the ground.
- We're getting down.

1944
01:34:00,340 --> 01:34:03,777
I can't believe you're buying that acting.
I mean, it's good, but...

1945
01:34:03,977 --> 01:34:06,279
You have the right to
remain silent, ********.

1946
01:34:06,780 --> 01:34:09,749
You have the right to an
attorney, *******. You have...

1947
01:34:09,916 --> 01:34:12,18
 [KATY PERRY'S "ROAR"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

1948
01:34:14,187 --> 01:34:16,189
Hey. Hey, that's my phone.
He has my phone.

1949
01:34:16,322 --> 01:34:18,792
- The phone Bert had on the bench.
 NICK: Check that phone.

1950
01:34:18,925 --> 01:34:22,762
If he was tied up here the whole time,
how could Rex have the same phone?

1951
01:34:22,929 --> 01:34:25,165
- They switched pants!
- Yeah. They got it.

1952
01:34:25,331 --> 01:34:27,300
- Check it.
- It's the same ringtone, sir.

1953
01:34:27,767 --> 01:34:29,703
Yeah. That's my phone.

1954
01:34:29,836 --> 01:34:32,505
I have the same ringtone.
It's an inspiring ringtone.

1955
01:34:32,806 --> 01:34:35,41
You were here this whole
time with a cell phone...

1956
01:34:35,241 --> 01:34:37,143
...and didn't bother
to call the police?

1957
01:34:37,277 --> 01:34:39,346
 DALE: Ah! Ah, ha, ha! - Yes.

1958
01:34:39,479 --> 01:34:41,314
Shut the **** up.

1959
01:34:42,682 --> 01:34:43,683
Let me see it.

1960
01:34:43,850 --> 01:34:45,852
I said let me see it.

1961
01:34:46,519 --> 01:34:48,54
Okay.

1962
01:34:49,956 --> 01:34:53,259
- Everybody move the **** off.
- Yeah, he looks pretty guilty now, right?

1963
01:34:53,426 --> 01:34:55,528
He's definitely suspect.

1964
01:34:55,729 --> 01:34:57,63
Drop your ****ing guns.

1965
01:34:57,197 --> 01:34:59,899
You shoot this prick. You
shoot this prick right now.

1966
01:35:00,66 --> 01:35:03,570
You drop your guns or I'll blow his
****ing head off. You hear me? Move.

1967
01:35:03,737 --> 01:35:04,904
Move.

1968
01:35:06,706 --> 01:35:08,208
He's gonna get away with this.

1969
01:35:08,408 --> 01:35:10,877
- This guy doesn't quit.
- He's incredibly resilient.

1970
01:35:11,44 --> 01:35:14,47
- You. Keys in the car?
- Keys are in the car.

1971
01:35:14,247 --> 01:35:16,383
- This ****ing guy.
- Calm down.

1972
01:35:16,516 --> 01:35:19,819
This ****ing guy took everything from me.
"Calm down, Dale"? No.

1973
01:35:19,986 --> 01:35:22,889
- **** this ****ing guy. He took my wife.
 REX: All right, step away.

1974
01:35:23,89 --> 01:35:26,559
- He took my kids. I'm gonna do something.
- Easy. What are you gonna do?

1975
01:35:26,726 --> 01:35:29,929
- Look who's the predator now, *****.
- Wait, Dale. What are you doing?

1976
01:35:32,198 --> 01:35:34,100
 [YELLING]

1977
01:35:35,635 --> 01:35:37,303
- Dale.
- Oh, I'm shot.

1978
01:35:38,938 --> 01:35:40,440
 COP: Get in there. Get him.

1979
01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:45,245
Cuff this crazy *******. And beat the
*** out of him while you're at it.

1980
01:35:45,412 --> 01:35:47,313
- Oh, ***. NICK: Dale,
buddy, you okay? Hey.

1981
01:35:47,480 --> 01:35:48,548
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, wow.

1982
01:35:48,682 --> 01:35:50,216
-  Oh, ***. KURT: What was that?

1983
01:35:50,417 --> 01:35:53,86
Dale, let's put this down.
What was the plan here, buddy?

1984
01:35:53,253 --> 01:35:56,456
- I overreacted. It's not even sharp.
- Adrenaline.

1985
01:35:56,623 --> 01:35:57,957
Did it just graze me, or...?

1986
01:35:58,91 --> 01:36:00,927
No, you got hit right in the
square of the ****ing chest.

1987
01:36:01,127 --> 01:36:03,229
- Went straight through.
- You're gonna be fine.

1988
01:36:03,363 --> 01:36:05,732
No, I don't know about that.
That's a lot of blood.

1989
01:36:05,899 --> 01:36:07,634
Don't listen to him.
You're gonna make it.

1990
01:36:07,634 --> 01:36:08,201
Ah, ****.

1991
01:36:08,368 --> 01:36:10,303
Hey, if you want
hope, listen to him.

1992
01:36:10,437 --> 01:36:13,840
If you want the truth, I'm your ****ing
guy, all right? This is bad news.

1993
01:36:14,7 --> 01:36:15,342
Can we get some help here?

1994
01:36:15,342 --> 01:36:17,544
Don't worry. We're
gonna get you fixed up.

1995
01:36:17,744 --> 01:36:19,879
- Oh, Jesus Christ. DALE: Is it bad?
Is it bad?

1996
01:36:20,280 --> 01:36:21,781
- That's a big ****ing hole.
- Yeah.

1997
01:36:21,948 --> 01:36:25,418
- I'm gonna go to this light right here.
 KURT: If you've gotta go, you gotta go.

1998
01:36:25,618 --> 01:36:27,354
- Please don't let me
die with him talking.

1999
01:36:27,387 --> 01:36:29,189
 KURT: I'll take care of
Stacy and your boys.

2000
01:36:30,924 --> 01:36:32,459
 [EKG FLATLINING]

2001
01:36:32,625 --> 01:36:34,861
 [KURT MIMICKING EKG FLATLINING]

2002
01:36:36,796 --> 01:36:39,766
- That couldn't be more annoying.
- I'm not trying to be annoying.

2003
01:36:39,933 --> 01:36:41,768
- I'm trying to have fun.
- It's annoying.

2004
01:36:41,935 --> 01:36:44,938
- It worked though. Look at that.
 NICK: Look who's talking. You okay?

2005
01:36:45,138 --> 01:36:47,874
You've been drifting in and out.
Nice to hear you talking.

2006
01:36:48,41 --> 01:36:50,143
So, what do the doctors say?
Am I gonna die?

2007
01:36:50,276 --> 01:36:51,444
- Yes.
- Yes?

2008
01:36:51,778 --> 01:36:53,546
- No.
- We're all gonna die.

2009
01:36:53,680 --> 01:36:56,16
It's been touch-and-go,
but you're gonna be fine.

2010
01:36:56,182 --> 01:36:57,550
Doctors are gonna let you out.

2011
01:36:57,684 --> 01:37:00,286
- That's good.
- They did have to give you a bird's heart.

2012
01:37:00,453 --> 01:37:01,821
- Oh, God.
- You okay with that?

2013
01:37:01,988 --> 01:37:03,123
- No.
- He's kidding.

2014
01:37:03,289 --> 01:37:05,959
- We're kidding.
- That heart would've been too old for me.

2015
01:37:06,92 --> 01:37:07,93
How long was I out?

2016
01:37:07,260 --> 01:37:08,595
- Two years.
- Really?

2017
01:37:08,728 --> 01:37:09,929
- Four days.
- That's better.

2018
01:37:10,96 --> 01:37:12,732
Why didn't you play? Thought
we were gonna say two years.

2019
01:37:12,899 --> 01:37:14,300
We've got a woman president.

2020
01:37:14,501 --> 01:37:15,902
 [ALL CHUCKLE THEN DALE COUGHS]

2021
01:37:16,102 --> 01:37:17,137
***.

2022
01:37:17,337 --> 01:37:19,372
 NICK: Look who's here.
- Oh, my gosh. He's talking.

2023
01:37:19,539 --> 01:37:21,741
- You're talking. Hi.
- We'll leave you alone.

2024
01:37:21,908 --> 01:37:25,812
Please. Let me explain everything to you,
there are so many misunderstandings.

2025
01:37:25,979 --> 01:37:29,849
- It's okay. Julia explained everything.
- Don't talk to her. She's crazy.

2026
01:37:30,50 --> 01:37:33,286
She told me everything she put you
through because of her affliction.

2027
01:37:33,453 --> 01:37:34,721
"Her affliction"?

2028
01:37:34,921 --> 01:37:36,923
It's heartbreaking what
she's been through.

2029
01:37:37,90 --> 01:37:39,492
- Hi.
- She also told me that my husband...

2030
01:37:39,659 --> 01:37:42,328
...is the only one that
ever resisted her.

2031
01:37:42,762 --> 01:37:45,865
- Okay.
- Dale, you are one lucky man.

2032
01:37:45,999 --> 01:37:48,601
Your wife is so
understanding and caring.

2033
01:37:48,768 --> 01:37:51,671
- Right.
- So beautiful.

2034
01:37:51,805 --> 01:37:54,607
She has been so supportive with the babies.
And helpful.

2035
01:37:54,774 --> 01:37:57,844
Oh. Please, it's the least I can do
to make amends for my bad behavior.

2036
01:37:58,11 --> 01:37:59,45
Okay.

2037
01:37:59,212 --> 01:38:01,514
I'm gonna find Dr. Mike,
tell him you're talking.

2038
01:38:01,648 --> 01:38:05,218
Okay, good. Go get the doctor
because I'm feeling a little...

2039
01:38:05,385 --> 01:38:06,686
What is going on here?

2040
01:38:06,853 --> 01:38:10,690
What's up? I'm off the hook? No more
white-whale business? Or any of that?

2041
01:38:10,857 --> 01:38:13,393
- Mm-hm. No more. You're off the hook.
- Really?

2042
01:38:14,861 --> 01:38:19,165
Did you know that when men are in a
coma they can still get an erection?

2043
01:38:19,332 --> 01:38:21,901
It's true, Dale. Coma boners.

2044
01:38:22,35 --> 01:38:23,870
"Coma boner"? What?

2045
01:38:24,3 --> 01:38:29,142
Lots and lots of coma boners.

2046
01:38:29,275 --> 01:38:31,244
Think about it.

2047
01:38:31,411 --> 01:38:33,346
- Oh, ***.
- All right, well, I better go.

2048
01:38:33,546 --> 01:38:36,49
I'm booking a spa day
for me and Stacy.

2049
01:38:39,185 --> 01:38:41,421
- I'm gonna **** your wife, Dale.
- No, no.

2050
01:38:41,588 --> 01:38:44,824
No. Uh, no, you're not.
Hang on. Hang on. No.

2051
01:38:44,958 --> 01:38:46,926
 NICK: Hey, there she is. - Boys.

2052
01:38:47,127 --> 01:38:51,431
You look fantastic. You know, I've been
sending you a lot of unanswered texts.

2053
01:38:51,564 --> 01:38:53,66
That's not how you catch them.

2054
01:38:53,66 --> 01:38:55,201
I think she said she's
gonna **** my wife.

2055
01:38:55,368 --> 01:38:58,204
- Thought she already did.
- That horse may have left the barn.

2056
01:38:58,371 --> 01:39:00,407
I figured those guys
have been bumping tacos.

2057
01:39:00,573 --> 01:39:03,643
 NICK: Super touchy-feely lately.
- I can't process this. This is too much.

2058
01:39:03,843 --> 01:39:06,46
Anyway, so, what's
even going on?

2059
01:39:06,212 --> 01:39:08,348
Did we get in trouble
with the police, or...?

2060
01:39:08,348 --> 01:39:09,49
We did, yeah.

2061
01:39:09,215 --> 01:39:09,883
Yeah. A lot.

2062
01:39:09,883 --> 01:39:11,951
We got arrested for a
long list of felonies.

2063
01:39:14,421 --> 01:39:17,657
But because you took a bullet for the
detective, DA got rid of the biggies.

2064
01:39:17,824 --> 01:39:20,827
- Dropped some charges? Nice.
- You're like a little Kevin Costner.

2065
01:39:20,960 --> 01:39:22,162
You're our bodyguard.

2066
01:39:22,495 --> 01:39:25,432
Ha, ha. Pretty sweet. All right, so
I'm guessing we saved the business.

2067
01:39:25,565 --> 01:39:26,966
- Nope. We did not.
- We did not.

2068
01:39:27,333 --> 01:39:29,35
 NICK: The bank foreclosed
 a couple days ago.

2069
01:39:30,437 --> 01:39:34,941
Going once, going twice, sold.
To D.H. Commercial Trust.

2070
01:39:35,141 --> 01:39:36,876
 KURT: But there's good news.
The guy who

2071
01:39:36,910 --> 01:39:38,945
bought the company is
keeping us on to run it.

2072
01:39:40,747 --> 01:39:43,149
If we bring that down
to $300, you've got...

2073
01:39:43,149 --> 01:39:44,117
Lupe. All right.

2074
01:39:44,284 --> 01:39:45,418
Hola, Lupe.

2075
01:39:45,585 --> 01:39:47,287
 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

2076
01:39:49,55 --> 01:39:50,990
- Uh, SkyMall?
- Sí, SkyMall.

2077
01:39:51,624 --> 01:39:52,759
Great. That's great news.

2078
01:39:52,926 --> 01:39:54,561
Uh, SkyMall order
is ready to ship.

2079
01:39:54,561 --> 01:39:55,895
The boss is gonna love that.

2080
01:39:56,62 --> 01:39:58,264
Yes. Let's go show him
these great numbers too.

2081
01:40:02,35 --> 01:40:03,670
Are we happy with these numbers?

2082
01:40:04,704 --> 01:40:05,839
They're pretty good.

2083
01:40:06,6 --> 01:40:07,941
- Room for improvement.
 DALE: We can do better.

2084
01:40:08,108 --> 01:40:09,209
Oh, my God.

2085
01:40:09,376 --> 01:40:12,579
I just realized. You actually thought
you were bringing me good news.

2086
01:40:12,746 --> 01:40:16,282
The three of you walked in with smiles
on your ****ing pathetic faces.

2087
01:40:16,850 --> 01:40:19,319
Why were you born? Why were
the three of you born?

2088
01:40:19,486 --> 01:40:22,922
Looking at you is like looking out
over the Grand Canyon of ineptitude.

2089
01:40:23,89 --> 01:40:25,291
It's a wonder your parents
didn't smother you...

2090
01:40:25,458 --> 01:40:27,127
- Where you going? DALE:
See you next week.

2091
01:40:27,293 --> 01:40:29,529
I have an idea. Why don't
you try a suicide pact?

2092
01:40:29,729 --> 01:40:33,767
And I'm not talking about throwing yourself
off a building or some sleeping-pills ***.

2093
01:40:33,933 --> 01:40:36,2
I'm talking about, you
**** each other to death.

2094
01:40:36,336 --> 01:40:39,5
Where the **** do you think you're going?
I own you!

2095
01:40:45,745 --> 01:40:50,784
Well, we have several franchise
opportunities available in your area.

2096
01:40:50,917 --> 01:40:53,687
But, uh, purchasing
a store requires...

2097
01:40:53,853 --> 01:40:56,823
...a significant
up-front investment.

2098
01:40:56,956 --> 01:40:59,826
Well, in that case...

2099
01:41:04,698 --> 01:41:06,666
...start me off with
three locations.

2100
01:41:06,866 --> 01:41:10,3
I'm sure that we can
accommodate you, Mr. Jones.

2101
01:41:10,170 --> 01:41:11,204
 [JONES CHUCKLES]

2102
01:41:11,371 --> 01:41:14,341
Please. Mr. Jones?
That's my daddy.

2103
01:41:14,507 --> 01:41:16,142
Call me Mother****er.

2104
01:41:21,381 --> 01:41:23,183
Every... This guy.

2105
01:41:25,719 --> 01:41:29,889
Okay. First we tie up Rex in one of
those abandoned warehouses off 3rd.

2106
01:41:30,56 --> 01:41:31,725
 [ALL LAUGHING]

2107
01:41:32,492 --> 01:41:34,160
First we're gonna tie up Rex...

2108
01:41:35,61 --> 01:41:37,564
First we're gonna tie up Rex...
**** off, everyone.

2109
01:41:37,731 --> 01:41:42,102
As soon as Bert's car is
underground, heh, the police lose...

2110
01:41:42,235 --> 01:41:44,337
Bert's car goes
underground, right?

2111
01:41:44,504 --> 01:41:46,873
Police lose the
signal from the wire.

2112
01:41:49,843 --> 01:41:53,146
Do you guys validate parking? Not you
personally, obviously, that'd be racist.

2113
01:41:53,279 --> 01:41:54,848
 [LAUGHING]

2114
01:41:55,849 --> 01:41:58,84
 [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] You're
gonna pull into Space 4421...

2115
01:42:00,787 --> 01:42:01,788
I gotta call you back.

2116
01:42:01,921 --> 01:42:03,123
 [ALL LAUGHING]

2117
01:42:03,289 --> 01:42:04,858
The bank foreclosed
two days ago.

2118
01:42:05,25 --> 01:42:06,59
 [DALE SIGHS]

2119
01:42:06,226 --> 01:42:08,128
- Hey, but there is good news.
- Really?

2120
01:42:08,328 --> 01:42:09,929
 [ALL LAUGHING]

2121
01:42:10,897 --> 01:42:11,931
"Really?"

2122
01:42:12,98 --> 01:42:13,933
We need to talk to
somebody legitimate.

2123
01:42:14,100 --> 01:42:18,104
We need to find someone who
can get us our company back.

2124
01:42:19,806 --> 01:42:22,375
I can't take you to the next scene
any better than that. I can't.

2125
01:42:22,542 --> 01:42:23,576
 [CREW LAUGHS]

2126
01:42:23,743 --> 01:42:26,46
Well, then I would
marry Daniel Craig...

2127
01:42:26,212 --> 01:42:28,448
...I'd **** Sean Connery
and kill Timothy Dalton.

2128
01:42:28,615 --> 01:42:32,218
I would marry Ed Helms, **** Bradley
Cooper and kill Zach Galifianakis.

2129
01:42:32,385 --> 01:42:36,790
Marry Crackle, **** Snap, kill Pop.
Right?

2130
01:42:36,923 --> 01:42:38,692
Oh, my God. Do you know
what this looks like?

2131
01:42:38,825 --> 01:42:40,93
What?

2132
01:42:40,727 --> 01:42:42,529
It looks like we don't
know what we're doing.

2133
01:42:42,696 --> 01:42:43,863
 [BOTH LAUGH]

2134
01:42:43,997 --> 01:42:45,865
Boy, I'd love it if you'd
stop saying my name.

2135
01:42:45,965 --> 01:42:47,634
 [LAUGHING]

2136
01:42:49,369 --> 01:42:51,337
Hang on a second. Hey, freeze.

2137
01:42:51,504 --> 01:42:53,640
Guess who's got the gun now.

2138
01:42:55,742 --> 01:42:56,976
Oh, but I'm thirsty.

2139
01:42:57,143 --> 01:42:58,511
Save me a shake.

2140
01:42:58,645 --> 01:42:59,713
 [SNICKERS]

2141
01:42:59,913 --> 01:43:01,481
I just can't say it.

2142
01:43:03,650 --> 01:43:07,53
So you wanna use the ransom...
What is it?

2143
01:43:07,220 --> 01:43:10,890
 WOMAN: "Y'all plan to use the
ransom to save y'all business."

2144
01:43:11,57 --> 01:43:12,425
I just like to hear you say it.

2145
01:43:12,625 --> 01:43:14,127
 [CREW LAUGHING]

2146
01:43:15,228 --> 01:43:16,262
Come on, man.

2147
01:43:16,463 --> 01:43:18,865
Help me help you get
revenge on my *******...

2148
01:43:19,32 --> 01:43:20,367
 [KURT MUMBLING]

2149
01:43:20,734 --> 01:43:22,836
- My *******...
- ******* dad.

2150
01:43:24,104 --> 01:43:25,305
 [ALL CHUCKLE]

2151
01:43:25,472 --> 01:43:29,9
You have to take what's yours in this...
In this...

2152
01:43:29,209 --> 01:43:30,577
 [LAUGHS]

2153
01:43:30,744 --> 01:43:32,612
- I mean, you have to...
- You have to...

2154
01:43:32,779 --> 01:43:35,215
- ...take what's yours in this life.
- Take it.

2155
01:43:35,382 --> 01:43:36,616
Grab it!

2156
01:43:38,418 --> 01:43:41,888
You will pass your empty,
sac-less ball sacs...

2157
01:43:42,55 --> 01:43:44,657
 [CHUCKLING] No, that's...
 [ALL CHUCKLING]

2158
01:43:44,858 --> 01:43:48,862
"Empty shriveled sacs." They're shriveled.
I should know that just looking at you.

2159
01:43:53,867 --> 01:43:56,102
 [CREW CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

2160
01:43:56,269 --> 01:43:58,738
 MAN: That's your credit
picture right there.

2161
01:43:58,905 --> 01:44:00,373
 [CREW LAUGHING]

2162
01:44:02,108 --> 01:44:04,210
- Here comes the heavy.
- I smell dog ***.

2163
01:44:04,411 --> 01:44:05,879
- Do you really?
- Yeah.

2164
01:44:07,13 --> 01:44:08,548
It might be your acting.

2165
01:44:08,682 --> 01:44:10,350
 [LAUGHING]

2166
01:44:10,383 --> 01:44:40,380
 [ENGLISH - US - SDH - BOZXPHD]