[Lively whimsical music playing]
[Beeps]
Ten tiny typists tripped through the tunnel.
Ten tiny typists...
- You can't be in here. - Compliments of the house. Enjoy it.
- Sir. - It's delicious.
Tell him callbacks are next week and he'll know when he knows.
[Hector] Okay.
La-ia-ia-ia-ia!
[Man over pa] Okay, show us what you got.
Contestant 318, you are up next.
[Man] He wasn't next.
- Where's your number? - I have no time to waste.
- Magical magic. - [Guard coughing]
Wait a minute, man. [Coughing continues]
No, no, no.
Hector, we told you after last time, no more.
That was just my song-and-dance routine. My new act will blow your minds.
Prepare yourself for the dance of a thousand pigeons.
[Music crescendos]
[Music stops]
[Stage manager] That's enough.
Thank you.
Maybe...
Maybe go back to singing.
Security.
Seriously, dude?
Ditch the birds.
You gotta show them something they've never seen before.
Because whatever that was, ain't working.
[Poignant music playing]
[Music turns pensive]
Hi, I'm looking for something...
Something, uh...
Something unusual.
But cute.
Really, really cute.
Also affordable.
That I can fit under my hat,
while I am dancing.
We got a special on bird-eating spiders.
Okay, let's try this again.
Boa constrictor.
Vampire bat.
Might have a lemur in the back.
A lemur.
["I like it (like that)" Playing over speakers]
[Small voice] J” [like it like that j'
J' I like it like that j'
I like that, baby j“
j' oh, I said I like it like that j'
j' I like it like that j'
j' yeah, [like it like j'
j' stomp your feet if you think I'm neat j“
j' clap your hands if you want some more j“
j' yeah, baby j'
j' like it like it j'
j' like it like j'
j' I like it like that j'
j' yeah, [really like it like that... j'
a singing crocodile.
J' baby, I like it like that j“
[tender enchanting music playing]
"Lyle." ler.
Hector p. Valenti, star of stage and screen, at your service.
Oh! Oh.
[Laughs]
[Lively upbeat music playing]
My reptilian friend, welcome home.
We're family now.
Come.
[Tender music playing]
Okay, let's go.
[Plays chord on piano]
J la-ia-la-la-la j”
[playing melody]
J la-ia-la-la-la j”
j la-ia-la-la-la j”
come on, Lyle.
I know you don't talk, but you can sing.
[Sneezes]
[Tender pensive music playing]
J la-ia-la-la-la j”
I you can pack your bags and start skipping town I
j hang up that hat when the show shuts down j'
I but when the world says you ain't quite world-renowned j”
-j' don't count yourself out yet j' -j' la-la-la-la-la j'
j when you hit that lonely and lowest low j'
j well, up's the only way left to go j“
j you're meant to reinvent the show j“
I so ain't you glad we met? J'
I turn that dull and dusty solo j'
I to a dazzling duet j"
-j' la-la-la-ia, la-la-la-la j“ -j' la-la-la-ia, la-la-la-la j“
j maybe we started pretty small j'
I but take a look at us now I
I take a look at us now j'
j suddenly standing 10 feet tall j'
I take a look at us now j'
j though we had no way to stay afloat j'
I we were scared they'd say it was all she wrote j'
I we 're ending on a sky-high note somehow j'
j buddy, you were all it took j'
I so take a look at us now j'
[man] You already owe me for the last show.
Yes, but this one's special.
Then you pay me up-front. In cash.
Cash might be a problem.
But I have something far more valuable.
["Take a look at us now" continues]
J la-la-la-la, la-la-ia-la la-la-la-la, la-la-ia-la j'
j when that perfect plan's going off the rails j'
j a heap of trouble is on our tails j"
j it's time to Polish up those scales j'
I and give it all you got j
I if you're out of step j'
I if you're out of sync j“
I and you care too much what those critics think j
j well, when you find your missing link j'
I they don't get a second thought j'
j 'cause in the center of the spotlight j'
I we just might have found our spot j“
j trying our luck with every leap j“
I take a look at us now j'
j the road could be steady could be steep j'
I take a look at us now j'
I thought we might be sunk upon first glance j'
j well, who'd have thunk that we had a chance? I
I and life could be a song and dance somehow j'
j buddy, you were all it took j'
I so take a look at us now j'
[Man] Thirty seconds to curtain.
Got a full house out there. Break a leg.
I so even when you're terrified j”
I just smile a smile a mile wide j'
j 'cause, bud, when you and I collide j'
j standing side by side j
j we 're gonna take a great big bow j
j won't you take a look at us now j
[audience cheering]
J give us a spotlight and a crowd j
j take a look at us now j
j ready to sing our song out loud j
j take a look at us now j
Lyle.
Lyle, sing.
Sing, Lyle.
Please.
J won't you take a look at us j
j take a look at us j
[music crescendos, then stops]
[Squeaks weakly]
[Laughing]
[Man] Drop the curtain.
Come on.
[Poignant music playing]
[Thunder rumbles]
[Hector] What's that look for? Oh.
We've had a minor setback, nothing more.
I'll go on the road for a bit, and make some cash.
Oh!
Here, take this.
It's got every song you'll ever need.
The best companion there is.
Okay.
Okay, I'll be back in two shakes of a iamb's tail.
And remember, if anyone asks, tell them you are stuffed.
Okay.
[Poignant music continues]
[Door opens, then closes]
[Hopeful music playing]
- You got it? - Yeah, I'm good.
- Couple more. - Straight to the living room, brother.
Are we actually gonna be living here?
I think we are.
This is a really bad idea.
Do you realize Manhattan crime statistics have seen a year-on-year increase
of over 18 percent?
Most people move out of the city when they have kids, not into it.
Ready?
And you must be the primms.
I am so pleased to meet you. I'm Carol from Liberty day school.
We're so excited to be here.
Your new math department chair.
We are very pleased to have you.
Oh, if you can just sign these when you get the chance.
Oh, and this is our son Josh.
Plus we haven't even talked about the widespread use of lead paint.
- New city. Little nervous. - [Carol] Sure.
Oh, can I tell you how much of a fan I am of your cookbooks?
- Right? - I can't wait to see what you do next.
You know, I'm actually scaling it back a bit work-wise,
so I could spend more time with Josh.
And this is Mr. Grumps, your downstairs neighbor.
[Mr. Primm] Hey, how's it going?
The local housing administration has established strict noise abatement rules.
- Make sure you read them. - [Mr. Primm] Yeah, of course.
- We certainly will, won't we, darling? - [Mrs. Primm] Of course.
That is the most beautiful cat I've ever seen.
Loretta is not a cat.
She's a silver shaded persian with an extremely delicate constitution.
Do not feed her or let her out of the building.
Why don't we go upstairs? Yeah, come on.
I'll be watching them. My lawyers will be watching them too.
One foot out of place, and they'll be out, and you'll be forced to sell.
Okay?
I'd say his bark's worse than his bite,
but to be honest, his bite's pretty unpleasant too.
Amazing cat, though. Can we have a pet?
Josh, allergies.
[Josh] I know.
[Whistles]
[Carol] Fyi, there's a few leftovers from a previous owner in the attic.
Hopefully they won't get in your way.
Welcome home.
[Glass shatters]
Babe, can I put this here?
You hate it.
New York City.
- Did we just move here? - I think we did.
You think Josh is gonna be okay?
Are you kidding me? He's got his own floor up there.
He's probably having the time of his life.
- [Dog barks] - [Ambulance siren chirping]
What was that?
[Electronic voice] That is an ambulance.
[Tires screeching]
What was that?
That was a car tire.
[Thumping and crashing]
What was that?
I have no idea what that was.
[Ominous music playing]
[Thumping and crashing continue]
[Dramatic sting plays]
[Josh breathing heavily]
[Pensive music playing]
"This is my crocodile. Please, take good care of him.
Cordially yours, Hector p. Valenti."
"Lyle."
[Exhales]
[Gasping]
Tofu Kale breakfast bowl.
Swiss chard chickpea scramble.
- Vegan turmeric latte. - I thought it was in...
Three different recipes from three different books.
It's perfect.
Oh, honey, this looks amazing, and healthy.
But I gotta go. I can't be late. Where's Josh?
I'm taking Josh, remember?
Right.
Grab something.
Um, have you seen my glasses?
- Thank you. - Hey.
Yeah?
You got this, okay? They're lucky to have you.
I'm lucky to have you.
- Don't forget to sign up for wrestling. - Okay.
- We gotta go. - Josh, there's time for breakfast.
No, it's an 11-minute ride on the subway from east 86th to west farms square,
plus a four-minute walk at this end and a seven-minute walk at the other.
Assuming everything goes right.
[Tense lively music playing]
Keep up, morn. All the way down to the end. Then we just cross this little Avenue.
[Siren wailing]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Man over pa] This is 86th street station.
[Man 1] Excuse me.
- [Woman] Watch it. - [Man 2] Wrong side, kid.
[Man 3] Excuse me.
[Man 4] Move, move.
[Woman over pa] Stand clear of the closing doors, please.
[School bell rings]
Don't worry, you got this.
- [Boy mockingly] "You got this." - [Students laughing]
[Pop music playing over speakers]
Seriously?
- [Music stops] - [Trudy] What are you doing?
- Do you not see us filming here? - [Boy 1] Come on, man.
- [Boy 2] Do you mind? - [Boy 3] Dude, are you serious?
[Girl] He's literally filming.
[Trudy] Let's go, guys.
Watch it on sweep like everyone else, pumpkin.
- [Girl 1] Whatever. - [Girl 2] Weirdo.
[Poignant music playing]
- Feathenneights, you're up. - [Blows]
And wrestle.
Look for the single leg.
[Boy] Come on.
[Josh grunts]
[Groaning]
[Whistle blows]
[Poignant music continues]
- [Police sirens wailing] - [Car alarm blaring]
[Floorboards creaking]
[Pop music plays on phone]
I'm Trudy, and I'm auditioning for show us what you got.
[Trudy singing indistinctly]
[Loretta meows]
Loretta.
Go ahead. That milk's for you.
Hey.
[Lyle] J hey, remember me j
[Lyle humming]
J hey, remember me j
[pensive music playing]
J you'll always remember me j
[dramatic music playing]
[Josh] Okay. Stay close.
[Suspenseful music playing]
[Loretta hisses]
[Yells, then grunts]
[Hisses]
[Dramatic music playing]
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
[Inhaler puffs]
Wait. No, you have to give her back.
[Dramatic music continues]
[Screams]
Did you see that?
[Man 2] Dude, that was crazy.
[Josh] Wait.
- [Tires screeching] - [Horn blaring]
[Man 1] Hey, watch where you're going!
[Man 2] Hey!
[Ominous music playing]
Hey, kid.
You gonna give me that phone, or am I gonna have to take it from you?
[Lyle growling]
[Roars]
[Man screaming]
That was totally awesome.
[Yowls]
Wait, you gotta show me how to get back.
Okay, last box.
Why did we even bring all this stuff?
Oh, don't eat those. They're horrible.
What? You love these things.
You used to bake with cherries. You made us put them on our wedding cake.
I know I did, but that was before I found out what's in them.
They're full of hydrogenated palm oil, and sugar, and corn syrup.
We wanna set a good example for Josh. We should throw them out.
Outside in the garbage.
[Grumps] Hey.
Those are my trash cans, not your trash cans.
Yours are in the back.
Oh, right. I'm so sorry.
Sorry is right.
Don't come around scattering suburban mediocrity all over my trash.
- I didn't know. - Someone's been feeding my cat.
I wanna know who.
Do you have any idea how dangerous irritable bowel syndrome can be
in a cat as valuable as Loretta?
If I catch you, or your wife, or your horrible son
so much as looking at Loretta, my lawyers will be all over you.
Do I make myself clear?
Now, hold on a minute.
- Yes or no? - Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes. - Great.
Oh, please, use more of the hot water. Help yourself.
- There's plenty to go around. - What? Hot water?
Hey, hi.
You awake yet?
- Um... here. - [Whimsical music playing]
This is my plus four strength card.
It's the most valuable card in my deck, and I want you to have it.
[Mrs. Primm] Josh, where are you?
Okay, uh, I gotta go.
And I'll be back after 3, okay?
An actual pet.
Hey, Josh, let's go.
Taking a shortcut.
[Mrs. Primm] What?
[Lively music playing]
Wait.
Josh?
[Josh] This way.
[Beeping]
Hey.
What's up?
Don't worry. I got this.
[Lilting music playing]
[Cell phone chimes]
[Mrs. Primm on phone] J I wanna stop j
j and thank you, baby j
j I just wanna stop j
j and thank you, baby j
j oh, yes j
j how sweet it is to be loved by you j
j it's just like sugar sometimes j
j how sweet it is j
[Mr. Primm] Oh, your book.
It's beautiful.
That cake's gonna make you famous.
[Guests cheering on phone]
[Poignant music playing]
- That was a modest bite. - Wait, wait. No, no, no.
How about another taste?
[Guests] J and thank you, baby j
j I just wanna stop j
j and thank you, baby j
[School bell rings]
Hey, animal planet.
What's with all the books?
You won't believe me.
I, uh, kind of have a...
Pet crocodile.
Nobody has a pet crocodile.
Told you.
And absolutely nobody has a pet crocodile in the city.
My dad had to do free dental work for the mayor
just to get my pet rattlesnake allowed in our building.
I, uh, saw you on sweep.
I mean, like, not...
I didn't... it was...
You're kind of a weirdo, aren't you?
[School bell rings]
[Cell phone chimes]
I've always approached our life like one of my recipes.
When things get hard, we stick with the ingredients that work.
But now it's all different, and I still feel bad.
About what?
Josh growing up.
Oh, honey.
I know that I should feel happy, but...
[Sighs]
I wish I just didn't feel so left out.
Hey.
You're a huge part of Josh's life, and an amazing mother.
All right?
Hey.
We were lost until you found us.
[Lively upbeat music playing]
What...?
- You want me to...? - [Tail thumps]
Okay, okay. See, the thing is I've never dumpster dived before, so...
- [Tail thumps] - Okay.
Okay.
What...?
Ugh.
So gross.
[Loretta purring]
Let's see.
You like noodles?
Ugh!
[Music stops]
[Clanking]
[Lively upbeat music resumes]
[Laughing] Oh, my god.
[Music fades]
No, that's okay.
I have sort of quite a specific diet,
which is mostly bagel bites, so I'm...
I'm not sure if that's gonna taste...
Wow, that's actually amazing.
I've never had anything like that before.
Where are you from?
My mom's family is from Taiwan.
Well, she's actually my stepmom.
My mom died when I was 2.
[Poignant music playing]
My dad says I got her nose.
I can do this really, like, crazy thing with my knuckles
where if I, like, go like that, I can, like, crack them all.
Do you have knuckles?
What is that?
You don't talk, do you?
J in the shadow of the city j
j when the days have disappeared j
j some might say it's sort of gritty j
j full of faces to be feared j
j but there are wonders that are waiting j
j underneath the midnight sky j
j we got the stars illuminating j
j it's a place for you and I j
j a little space for you and I j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j where no one ever has to hide j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j you're sitting safe and starry-eyed j
j there is treasure you can find j
j in something someone left behind j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j it can stay this way j
j at least until the morning light j
["top of the world" playing]
J through the dark there's someone singing j
j like an old familiar song j
j like you fell into a melody that's bringing j
j you right here where you can belong j
j and there are wonders that are waiting j
j underneath the midnight sky j
j and by the stars we 're navigating j
j to a place for you and I j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j where no one ever has to hide j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j you're sitting safe and starry-eyed j
j there is treasure you can find j
j in something someone left behind j
j at the top of the world tonight j
j it can stay this way j
j at least until the morning light j
J at the top of the world j
j the top of the world j
j the top of the world tonight j
- Whoo-hoo! - [Roars]
[Josh laughs]
[Lilting ominous music playing]
[Grumps] Yes, it's an emergency.
The city must do something about these double-wide strollers.
You know, just because somebody made the mistake of having a second child
doesn't mean that I should be forced off the sidewalk,
into the...
Streets.
[Loretta groans]
- Mumsykins? - [Farting]
[Defecating wetly]
[Loretta meows, then farts]
[Mr. Primm] Have a great day.
You too, honey.
Josh, time to wake up.
Come on.
Josh?
[Suspenseful music playing]
[Snoring]
All right, Josh, come on.
Let's go.
[Screaming]
Mom, no, hold on.
Oh, my god.
He's safe.
[Dramatic music playing]
- No, mom, it's okay. - [Yells]
- [Music stops] - [Mrs. Primm panting]
J I wanna stop j
j and thank you, baby j
j I just wanna stop j
j and thank you, baby j
j oh, yeah j
j how sweet it is to be loved by you j
j oh, yeah j
j how sweet it is to be loved by you j
[tender pensive music playing]
Mom, I swear, he's not dangerous.
- He's a crocodile. - Okay, yes, crocodiles are dangerous.
They bite through bone and have a taste for human flesh.
But he's not like that. He wears a scarf.
I have to tell your father.
- No, he'll have him taken away. - [Line dialing]
- I'll agree with him. - No.
[Mr. Primm on recording] Thanks for calling. Leave a message.
Lyle is a good crocodile. He's just lonely, like I was.
And he cares about me.
Do you realize how different things have been since I met him?
I made a friend.
Mom, I feel like I belong here, because of Lyle.
- Josh. - You won't even see him. He's nocturnal.
And he can sing.
- It's, like, how he talks. - [Cell phone ringing]
Just don't do anything until I get home tonight.
That's all I'm asking. Please.
- [Mrs. Primm] Hey. - Hey, honey, sorry.
Did you call?
[Suspenseful music playing]
I just...
Wanted to wish you a great day.
Oh, thanks.
I could use that. These city kids have a lot of energy.
I'll see you at home. I love you.
[Tender music playing]
I can't believe I just did that.
[Lively music playing]
- [Students chattering] - Everyone. Yeah, that's nice.
Can we sit down, though, please?
Hey, guys, let's not throw stuff.
Can we just settle down? Just a little bit, okay?
[Suspenseful music playing]
["Sir Duke" playing]
[Suspenseful music continues]
J just because a record has a groove don't make it in the groove j
j come on j
j when the people start to move j
j they can feel it all over j
j people, yeah j
j over j
j people... j
[both scream]
[Music stops]
[Dramatic music playing]
This isn't happening. Crocodiles don't belong in houses.
["Rip up the recipe" playing]
J when you're cooking something up j
j and only trying the tried-and-true j
j you stick to the predictable you've known j
j measure out the same amounts j
j every teaspoon every ounce j
j no surprises when the rules are set in stone j
j but when the sugar hits the fan j
j you make a mess of your perfect plan j
j and you're facing the face of something strange and new j
j if it's not what you had prepared j
j in the scramble you can't get scared j
j let something wild and wonderful break through j
j start ripping up the recipe j
j let go of how it has to be j
j you forget about right and wrong when you lose yourself in this song j
j it's perfect unexpectedly j
j when you rip up the recipe j
j do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do-do j
j living life inside the lines j
j safe and simple by the book j
j you keep sweeping the uncertainty aside j
j but an unfamiliar spice j
j might bring something extra nice j
j something twice as good j
j as what you would've tried j
j 'cause when the sugar hits the fan j
j you make a mess of your perfect plan j
j and you're facing the face of something strange and new j
j something's ready to wreck your day j
j you can pray that it goes away j
j or let something wild and wonderful break through j
j start ripping up the recipe j
j let go of how it has to be j
j no, you can't plan it in advance j
j gotta lose yourself in the dance j
j it's perfect unexpectedly j
mom?
J when you rip up the recipe j
j do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do-do j
J start ripping up the recipe j
j and make a little mess with me j
j you forget about right and wrong j
j when you lose yourself in this song j
j it's perfect unexpectedly j
j when you rip up the recipe j
j do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do-do j
j do-do-do do-do-do-do-do j
j when you rip up the recipe j
- [Mrs. Primm] Lyle? - [Josh] Lyle, all right.
Three cameras, all mounted on the roofs perimeter.
No one's getting in or out without you knowing about it.
Perfect. I know they're up to something.
No one's ever putting anything nasty in mummy's tummy ever again.
Are they, mumsykins?
That's how we spell "no, no, no."
I'm just gonna...
[Mrs. Primm] Mmm!
Try that.
Really?
- [Footsteps approaching] - We should save some for Lyle.
- [Mr. Primm] Hey, guys. - [Mrs. Primm gasps]
Good morning, sweetheart.
[Josh] Hey, dad.
Pizza. For breakfast.
And where'd you get caviar?
Can I have a...? [Burps]
- [Mrs. Primm] No. - Sorry.
- Sorry. Excuse me. - It's more like... [burps]
[Josh & Mrs. Primm laughing]
- See you. - Let's not get any food...
[Mrs. Primm humming "rip up the recipe"]
Honey?
Yeah?
I've, um, noticed that you've been, um...
Happy, uh, recently.
Which is great.
And I wondered if that,
you know, hasn't been because of me.
I mean, is...?
Is there something I need to know?
Oh, sweet pea.
I mean, is there...
Someone else?
Not exactly.
It's time to tell your father.
Tell me what?
[Toilet flushes]
- [Whistle blows] - [Lively music playing]
- [Mr. Primm] Go, go, go... - Hey, dad, wait, it's fine.
It's not what you think.
All right, this way.
Hide in here.
Dad, it's okay.
It is not okay.
There's a crocodile in the house.
That's what I thought too, but he's not a normal crocodile.
What are you talking about? [Screams]
Everybody, get out of here!
[Mr. Primm screams]
[Whistles]
Follow me! Let's go!
There's a crocodile...
May I wish you good day, sir.
- Hector p. Valenti, at your service. - [Mr. Primm] What?
[Hector] Where should I put my bags?
Uh... I'm not sure I...
Oh, dear. You didn't know I was coming?
No worries.
While you call the school authorities, I'll make myself at home.
[Mr. Primm] But you're... i'm...
Please, please, be my guest.
It's been a very long and difficult trip.
I'd hate to put my back out in a moment of...
Oh, my.
Oh, Lyle.
Look at the size of you.
Lyle.
[Tender poignant music playing]
[Music turns upbeat]
[Gasping] I missed you too.
Lyle.
Oh, no, no, no. We had no idea. Nobody told us anything.
Okay, yeah.
Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Bye.
What did they say?
Well, this was his family's brownstone,
but he somehow lost it in some kind of a business deal.
He's figuring out some kind of new show,
and there's a clause that says somehow he can stay here 15 days out of the year.
What?
[Groans]
This cannot be happening.
We have a crocodile, and now David Copperfield, living in our attic.
This is definitely not okay.
And can you please stop drawing him?
It's weird.
[Funk music blaring over speakers]
- [Music continues blaring] - [Hector laughing]
[Cow bell clanging rhythmically]
[Cymbals crashing]
[Glass shatters]
[Hector laughs]
[Cowbell clanging]
[Hector speaking indistinctly]
- I hate you. - [Hector laughs]
I hate them so much.
[Showering running]
["Express yourself" playing on radio]
[Hector laughing]
J express yourself j
[Hector] J express yourself j
j express yourself j
[yeldsi
good morning, sir. Good morning.
If there's any breakfast, I'll take eggs.
Any way you wanna make them. But not scrambled. Or fried.
Thank you.
J whatever you do j
[Lyle] J do it good j
j whatever you do j
j do, do, do, do, yeah j
j express yourself j
j oh, yeah j
j oh, do it j
j do it to it, yeah j
j oh, yeah, yeah, yeah j
okay, family day. What do you think, history museum?
- Go there? - Sure.
There he is.
I'm just gonna...
So, dad's not coming.
Dad needs to let off a little steam.
He doesn't like Hector, does he?
Oh, well, Hector is a very colorful character.
I don't know about you, but I could eat a horse if you spread butter on it.
- You're a gators fan? - Don't be ridiculous.
Smoke and mirrors, my friend. Smoke and mirrors.
How else do you think Lyle can join us?
[Lively upbeat music playing]
[Mrs. Primm] Whoo!
[Hector] Shall we?
- Are you sure this is safe? - Who wants to be safe?
No, "safe" is a repellent little word. Expunge it from your mind.
We are here to live, yes?
And living is a dangerous business.
You're not worried that some people might think he's a real crocodile?
Ah! Nothing could be of less importance than what other people think.
Let people stare.
For once in their dreary lives, they have something wonderful to look at.
- Look, look. - ["We made it" playing]
J hey, we made it we 're here j
j time to j
here it is.
J get this party started right we 're right on time j
j hey, we made it... j
- brain freeze. - Another one.
J ain't no other party getting high j
j we 're shining bright j
j they say what goes up, yeah must come down... j
[man] Oh, no, you're going down!
- You're going down! - Yeah!
- [Whooping] Let's go, dawgs! - [Barking]
- [Man] What the...? - [Growls]
[Whimpers]
J just one little word from you and we're coming through j
j you already know j
j hey, we made it we 're here j
j time to get this party started right we 're right on time j
j like ia-la-ia-la la-la-ia-ia-la-ia-ia, hey! J
j la-la-la-ia la-la-la-ia-la-ia-ia j
j like ia-la-ia-la la-la-ia-ia-la-ia-ia, hey! J
j la-la-la-ia la-la-la-ia-la-ia-ia j
j hey, we made it! J
oh, perfect timing. You could be on my team.
- Hey. - Oh, uh, I'm okay.
I'm exhausted. I'll go upstairs and take a shower.
Hector thinks the hot water might be out.
[Hector] My bad.
[Mrs. Primm] Okay, right hand, red.
[Mr. Primm sighs]
{gasps} -[Ominous music playing]
Lyle.
I was, uh, just checking the boiler.
Because it's cold, right?
Ow! Ow.
Where'd you get that at?
Lyle, why would you do that?
[Lilting pensive music playing]
[Whistles]
[Imaginary crowd cheering]
[Lively drum music playing]
[Yells]
Oh, no.
Not today. [Yells]
One, two, three.
Yeah! [Laughing]
[Whooping] All-league champion!
I'm back, I'm back!
I still got it.
Twenty years. State champs, '99.
- [Whoops, then laughs hysterically] - [Whimsical music playing]
[Mr. Primm] Come on, one more round.
[Thumping and thudding]
[Mr. Primm grunting]
Stay down.
[Students chattering and laughing]
Good morning.
[Laughing and chattering continue]
[Blows loudly]
Let's try that again.
[In unison] Good morning, Mr. Primm.
Dad, you have to come see this.
- Is that a white rabbit? - [Hector] We can start the show of magic.
Can you please pass me those?
- [Mrs. Primm] This? - Thank you. Yes, I need those.
Thank you very much.
Now, now that we have the bunny, we can start our magic show.
Front row for you, sir.
Behold, the power of illusion.
Okay? Nothing here, nothing over there.
Follow the card carefully.
- [Upbeat music playing] - [Mrs. Primm gasps]
[Primms] Wow!
Magical magic.
Where are they? Here they are.
You have a nine, and you have a two.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
[Mr. Primm] Hey, play us one of your songs.
[Josh] Yeah, play something.
[Mrs. Primm] That would be amazing. Please?
[Hector] Hm...
[Clears throat]
J maybe we started pretty small j
j take a look at us now j
j suddenly standing 10 feet tall j
j take a look at us now j
j though we had no way to stay afloat j
j we were scared they'd say it was all she wrote j
j we 're ending on a sky-high note j
j somehow j
j buddy, you were all it took j
j 80 take a look at us now j
[primms cheering and applauding]
Don't you see what that means, Lyle?
That was an audience,
and you performed.
You performed, Lyle.
Lyle. Lyle?
We can do it.
We can take our show on the road.
You and me, like we always planned.
J 80 I made a couple mistakes j
j got a few things wrong j
j we can claw right back j
j to where we belong j
j it's just us two j
j and a soaring song j
j redoing our debut j
j we get to finish what we started j
j it's a brand-new me and you j
j a brand-new me and you j
j thought we might be sunk j
j upon first glance j
j well, who'd have thunk? Here's a second chance j
j and life could be a song and dance somehow j
j 80 take a look at us now j
let's go. Let's go.
Where are you going? Why is he all dressed up?
When the world sees Lyle sing and dance, we're gonna be rich.
- Rich. - What?
But he doesn't need money. He needs a family and a home.
This is the business of show, Josh.
Because Lyle is not just a crocodile.
He's a showman.
Does he even want that?
Josh, tonight is our big night.
[Josh] The night for what?
The preview for potential investors in our new show.
Evangelyne will get us there just in time.
Who's evangelyne?
Hector?
[Engine rumbles]
Take a look at us now.
[Poignant music playing]
[Door opens, then closes]
[Josh] Hey, how'd it go?
Uh, the stage can be a cruel mistress.
I thought Lyle had changed, but he hasn't.
He froze.
Stage fright.
He still won't sing for an audience.
Just so you know,
I don't care if you sing or not.
Either way, I think you're awesome.
Just give him a little time, okay?
He's gonna be okay.
J thought we would make a perfect pairj
j take a look at us now j
j thought there was a spotlight we could share j
j take a look at us now j
I won't pretend this isn't something of a blow, my old friend.
One or two loans will now require
a radical renegotiation, you know?
But nothing I can't smooth over with a little valenti charm.
[Laughs]
J take a look at us j
[Carol] It's the school's brownstone, not yours.
I'm done. I did not sign up for this.
Mr. Primm, for you.
Oh, good, it's the man of the hour.
You're a member of the neighborhood? Time to earn your spot.
Okay, great.
- [Tires screech] - [Horn honks]
- [Grunting] - [Man] Get the money.
[Groans]
Show business.
Oh, please, sit.
Come in.
I don't wanna be unneighborly.
Really, I don't.
And no one loves music and singing and dancing more than me, you know.
Just not at 3:00 in the morning.
So if you could find it in your hearts
to sign the petition,
and override the school's power to allow awful families like this...
- Okay, now hold on just a second... - [Thudding]
- No. - [Metal creaking]
- Well... - [Mr. Primm] That's just Josh.
- Practicing wrestling. - Trampoline.
On a trampoline.
He wrestles on a trampoline that we'll get rid of.
Sure, but if it's not that, and it's something else,
something that you're hiding from us,
something that you think you'll get in trouble for,
well, I believe now is the time to share it.
[Knocking on door]
Do you mind if I join you?
- Valenti. - Alistair grumps.
Alistair grumps.
How in the world are you?
[Whimsical pensive music playing]
Ay-yay-yay-yay-yay! Wait, is that the same sofa?
You literally have not changed a thing.
You see, alistair and I grew up together.
- Have you been drinking? - Yes, I have.
I always feel like the world looks better with a glass of champagne.
A glass of champagne.
Get out. This is none of your business.
It is, it is, because if the primms are the problem,
then I, as their houseguest, I'm part of the problem too, am I not?
A large part.
With your permission, I'd like to be part of the solution as well.
Would you mind, please?
Thank you.
- Delicious. - Per usual, Hector, you're overstepping.
[Hector] We are not the only ones who overstepped the Mark.
We, for instance, haven't mounted security cameras
throughout the neighborhood,
filming other residents without their consent.
[Indistinct chatter]
No permission asked?
None.
- No. - No. Were releases signed?
- No. - [Hector] No.
Well, if it was me, I'd go straight to the police.
Out, all of you.
Everyone, get out of here.
Come on.
This meeting will be reconvened at a later date.
Thank you so much for coming.
Excuse me.
Not you.
I can assure you, alistair, we have absolutely nothing to talk about.
Why don't we see about that?
[Mr. Primm] Hector had this whole performance.
[Mrs. Primm] Even marjory was miffed.
- She was so upset. - Mr. Grumps's jaw was...
- Hector. - Hector.
Oh, thank you.
- Thank you so much. - That was incredible.
No, no, no. You have all been extraordinary.
It was the least I could do.
Thank you, really.
So I have to make myself presentable.
I'll be back in two shakes of a iamb's tail, okay?
[Ominous music playing]
[Truck rumbling]
[Sirens wailing]
Stay here.
[Tense music playing]
Hector, Hector.
[Man] Where is he?
[Woman] I'm gonna look around back. Just in case. Could be a big one.
- [Lyle roars] - [Man] Stay back, stay back.
- No, no. - Josh.
[Josh] He won't hurt you.
[Whimpers]
Lyle.
You have to sing.
[Mr. Primm] No.
[Mrs. Primm] No.
[Dramatic music playing]
- Watch your step there. - Easy.
[Officer] You're clear.
- Josh. - I'll talk to him.
I knew it.
I knew you were up to no good.
Hiding a crocodile. You've broken so many rules.
Wait till I tell your school. They'll throw you out of the city.
You'll be gone, all of you, by Thanksgiving.
[Ominous music playing]
[Crocodiles snoring]
[Growling]
[Farts]
Lyle.
Hey, hey, buddy.
Hey, are you okay?
I came as soon as it opened.
- Lyle. - Hey, buddy.
Hey, no hands through the bars.
Thank you.
You, get back.
[Poignant music playing]
We have to do something. He must hate it here.
Look, Josh, they understand crocodiles. They're gonna look after him.
Then why aren't they giving him pork-and-Rosemary vol-au-vents,
or chicken milanese with a dash of salsa verde?
He's a crocodile, sweetheart.
He's a very special crocodile, but he is still a crocodile.
He has to learn to live with the other crocodiles.
- No, no. We can break him out. - [Mrs. Primm] Josh.
It's not a bank. It's a zoo. How hard can it be?
[Mr. Primm] Josh, stop.
Okay? We'll come visit Lyle every day, I promise.
We'll speak to the zoo, and ask them to let us bring Lyle his favorite treats.
There's only so much we can do.
Not all problems have a solution, Josh.
No, you don't get to decide that.
Not for me. Not anymore.
My whole life, I've been scared,
because you've been scared.
But I'm not scared anymore.
Because of Lyle.
He changed everything for me.
And not just for me.
For you too. So...
I'm not gonna leave here.
I'm not just gonna leave here without...
- Leave here without... - Josh?
- Wait, Josh, Josh, Josh. - Oh, my god.
Josh, are you okay?
- Josh. Get his inhaler. - It's in his jacket.
Call 911.
He had a panic attack that triggered his asthma.
It's good he had his inhaler.
He's gonna be fine. You got nothing to worry about.
Thank you, sir.
- You okay, bud? - Yeah.
- You sure? - Yeah.
["Carried away" playing]
J we had nights of endless music j
j we were dizzy dancing till the dawn j
j we were free singing sweet harmonies with the city j
j but maybe that was someone else's song j
j back to earth again j
j you knew where this was headed and honestly you're better off j
j better here where you belong j
j you got caught up in the colors j
j you got wrapped up in the ride j
j you thought the feeling was foreverj
j and the stars were on your side j
j it was lovely while it lasted j
j but it wasn't meant to stay j
j still you let yourself get carried away j
j I guess I let myself get carried away j
j we got carried away j
j carried away j
j got carried away j
j carried away j
j 80 we got mixed up in the madness j
j but wasn't it a perfect mess we made? J
j well, you live and you learn j
j you return to the safe and the simple j
j and behind our walls we fall back into place j
j back to earth again j
j you're through with pretending 'cause this is how the ending goes j
j now you're here where you belong j
j we got caught up in the colors j
j we got wrapped up in the ride j
j we thought the feeling was foreverj
j and the stars were on our side j
j it was lovely while it lasted j
j but it wasn't meant to stay j
j we just let ourselves get carried away j
j we got carried away j
j carried away j
j got carried away j
j carried away j
j lost in a fantasy j
j of all we were gonna be j
j carried away j
j it was lovely while it lasted j
j it was never meant to stay j
j but we let ourselves get carried away j
j I guess I let myself get carried away j
[Students chattering and laughing]
Hey.
Can you believe it?
I still can't believe it. We're gonna be on show us what you got.
That's great.
You deserve it.
Listen.
Don't give up.
When Malfoy escaped, I thought I'd never see him again either.
Malfoy? The pet rattlesnake my crazy uncle Ernie gave me?
He was gone for six weeks. We all thought he was dead.
Until the neighbors found him in the back of their toaster oven.
Miracles do happen, Josh.
[Hopeful music playing]
There he goes.
[School bell rings]
Mom, I'm fine.
I know you're fine. I'm gonna make sure you stay that way.
Come on.
[Poignant music playing]
[Mr. Primm] Where you going?
- Taking the trash out. - Okay.
- Be careful. - Be careful.
How could you do it?
I've asked myself the same question over and over, Josh.
But, you see, I've got nothing.
No family, no friends.
Then why do you keep leaving him?
When Lyle choked,
I had to go back and make it on my own.
Again. Yes.
But I couldn't, because no one's interested in...
And I owe a lot of people a lot of money.
A lot of money.
So when alistair grumps offered me that cash, I had to take it.
Out of need, out of fear, out of weakness.
And I've hated myself for doing it.
Good, because I hate you too.
But this is not about me, or about you. It's about Lyle.
You know as well as I do, we can't leave him in that zoo.
So if you have the stomach for it,
if you have the fire in your belly I know you have,
you have,
you, young man, are going to help me break that crocodile out of the zoo.
Yes, because we have magic on our side.
The power of illusion.
Magical magic.
There is no magic, Hector.
I'll be at the east gate at 4 am.
Four A.M. be there.
[Suspenseful music playing]
Join us live tomorrow, right here in New York City.
We 're crowning the world's next superstar on the finale of show us what you got.
Oh, no...
- What do we got here? - [Hector] My dear fellow.
May I have some assistance, please?
I thought I had this trick down, but I've got myself in a bit of a pickle.
-Please.
- Okay. Some sort of handcuff trick? - Thank you.
This looks crazy. Maybe if you move that way...
Hey.
Hey, hey.
Magical magic.
Let me out of here.
This won't take long. I promise.
No, you can't go in there. You can't go in there.
Come back here. Come back here.
Lyle.
[Growls]
Not Lyle.
[Tense music playing]
Not good.
This was seriously your plan?
I knew you'd come.
Yes. Climb up there, and catch my rope, please.
You have to get me out of here.
Josh?
- Come on. Josh. - Lyle.
Lyle.
Help me. Help me.
Lyle.
- [Growling continues] - No, no, no.
Josh?
You have to talk to him. Tell him to help me.
It's not me that has to talk to him, Hector.
It's you.
I realize I may not have always acted in the best way possible, Lyle.
But I showed you the world.
I introduced you to white truffle oil.
- I taught you the moonwalk. - [Roars]
Okay, fine, fine.
I apologize. My behavior was unforgivable.
I used you, and I abandoned you.
And it's my fault you're here.
But, please, come back with me.
Come back to where you belong.
Back to...
[Pensive music playing]
Back to Josh.
To your family.
[Roars]
- [Roars] - [Hector] Oh!
[Hector sighs]
We gotta get you out of here.
[Josh] Tell me the second part of your plan is better.
Not better. It's perfect.
I've got evangelyne parked up by the gates.
We can outrun anyone on her.
But Lyle can't just keep running.
Of course he can. You'd be amazed what you can outrun.
- Ex-wives. - Hands up.
- [Sirens wailing] - Creditors.
[Ominous music playing]
Park rangers.
No, no, this is not a life.
We have to show people what Lyle can do.
That they don't have to be scared of him.
We gotta show them...
[Bus rumbling]
[Hopeful music playing]
Go, take Lyle. I've got this.
[Laughs] Ah, sorry, not this one.
Uh... [speaks in foreign language]
[In English] Give me a minute. Give me a minute.
Prepare to have your flabber truly gasted.
[Dramatic music playing]
[Sirens wailing]
No, we have no one to drive it.
[Engine rumbles]
[Hector] Go, go, go.
Go. Come on, Josh.
- Come on. - [Man on radio] They're leaving the park.
- Call the police. - Copy.
Sorry.
[Dramatic music playing]
How much further?
Lyle.
All units, we got a crocodile on a motorcycle,
entering the theater district.
[Man] You got a what?
[People scream]
Where's Josh? He's not in his room. I looked everywhere.
[Beeping]
What's he doing in Times Square?
[Josh] Hey, hey.
I'm on the steps.
Yeah, I need your help. Where is it?
I'm at the backstage door.
[Audience screaming and cheering]
[Hip-hop music blaring over speakers]
What are you doing here?
Yes, and we need to show people what he can do.
We need your help.
Trudy.
Follow me.
Whoa, hey.
Kaysha from kingsport, check. Where's kaysha from...?
Security?
[Hosfl yet another unbelievable performance.
Text your vote to the long number on the bottom of your screens.
- [Audience applauding] - Once again, Tamia and talullah.
And if you thought the talent stopped there,
oh, boy, are...
[Audience gasps]
[Dramatic poignant music playing]
- What is happening? - What is going on?
Wait, is that a real crocodile?
- [Man on radio] Do you have him? - Got him, sir. Copy.
You're just gonna have to trust me now.
Lyle, you have to sing.
It's okay.
We'll, uh, do it together.
[Feedback squeals]
[Pitchy] J maybe we started pretty small j
j but take a look at us now j
j take a look at us now j
j suddenly standing 10 feet tall j
j take a look at us now j
j buddy, you were all it took j
j 80 take a look at us j
you have to show them.
J take a look at us j
j take a look at us now j
[band playing "take a look at us now"]
J oh, yeah j
j when that perfect plan's going off the rails j
j a heap of trouble is on our tails j
j it's time to Polish up those scales j
j and give it all we've got j
j 'cause in the center of the spotlight j
j we just might have found our spot j
[crowd cheering and screaming]
- Come on. - Come on, let's go.
J give us a spotlight and a crowd j
j take a look at us now j
j ready to sing our song out loud j
j take a look at us now j
j the big shebang j
j our grand debut j
j now we got the hang of the me plus you j
j seems our dreams just might come through somehow j
j buddy, you were all it took j
-j take a look at us now j -j take a look at us now j
j yeah, yeah j
j yeah j
j take a look at us now j
[Audience cheering and applauding]
All right.
[Booing]
The point I'm making, your honor, is that nothing has changed.
So the crocodile sang.
So what?
- It wasn't even that good. - [People grumbling]
Oh, you're just impressed because it was a crocodile.
It was still broken out of the zoo.
And according to every single one of the city's very own regulations,
it cannot be kept in a domestic residence.
[Booing]
- [Judge] Order, order. - It's okay.
[Gavel pounding]
I'm afraid the plaintiff is right.
- [People] Aw! - [Door opens]
[Hector] But who wants to be merely right
when you can be fabulously triumphant instead?
Good morning, your honor. Excuse me.
I have some documents here that were stolen from me
which I think are of vital importance to this case.
What documents?
The original deeds to the house on east 88th street.
How'd you get those? Those were under my bed.
I was led to them by a new friend. Meow.
[Lilting mischievous music playing]
Why?
- [Judge] Let me see that. - Of course.
Those papers date from the time of my maternal grandmother,
Evelyn t. Valenti.
Not just the woman who built the house on east 88th street,
but the woman who was the founder of the New York zoo.
- [Grumps] This is nonsense. - What?
This is a special deed granted by the city of New York.
In acknowledgment to my grandmother's contributions to the city,
and to accommodate her fascination for the animals.
[Judge] “The house on east 88th street is hereby granted
a special waiver to house any exotic creature as a pet."
[People exclaiming]
Certainly your honor cannot be stupid enough to consider this.
Approved.
- Yes. - [All cheering]
[Upbeat music playing]
Your honor, this is ridiculous.
I demand a mistrial.
This is absurd.
Wait a second. Loretta?
- Hey. - Loretta?
Keep your filthy hands off of my Loretta!
[Blows whistle]
All right, everybody, let's go.
- Relax, we got time. - Ooh!
I'm gonna get the sunscreen.
Wait, wait. What's all of this? Where...?
[Mr. Primm] Hector, good morning.
- Where are you going? - Get in the car, guys.
Hold on. I've already got Lyle over 200 bookings.
Two hundred bookings in New York alone.
Once we roll out a national tour, we're gonna be swimming in cash.
We're not going on a national tour. We're going on vacation.
Have you ever even been on vacation before, Lyle?
I got you a floatie.
[Tender upbeat music playing]
That's cute.
[Hector] Okay, okay. Fine, fine.
We'll do a stadium tour instead.
Fewer dates,
but we'll pack in just as many people.
- Bye. - [Car starts]
Uh... Hector?
Yes?
[Malfoy hisses]
I'm sorry, kid, but... [groans]
Do it, Malfoy.
[Malfoy humming and beat-boxing]
Does he have an agent?
He does now.
- [Hisses] - Oh!
He's got an attitude.
Let's go.
[Mrs. Primm] And we're off.
[Radio turns on]
[Rap music playing]
[Mr. Primm] How about...?
[Soft jazz playing over radio]
- Play Lyle's music. - Oh!
["Crocodile rock" playing]
[Lyle] J la-la-ia-la-la j
j la-la-la-ia-la j
j but the biggest kick I ever got j
j was doing a thing called the crocodile rock j
j while the other kids were rocking 'round the clock j
hey, Loretta.
J we were hopping and bopping to the crocodile rock, yeah j
j croc rocking is something shocking j
j when your feet just can't keep still j
j I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will j
j oh, lordy, mama those Friday nights j
j when susie wore her dresses tight j
j crocodile rocking was out of sight j
- [all laughing] - ["Heartbeat" playing]
J heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j twenty minutes 'til I'm home j
j and tell me all the ways you wanna make this go j
j I can't get enough now, it's official j
j if you want a lot and not a little j
j if we keep it us, it's so simple j
j wherever you are, wherever you are j
j heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week all week, yeah, yeah j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na, yeah j
j na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na wherever you are, wherever j
j na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na, yeah j
j na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na wherever you are, wherever you are j
j heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j heartbeat it speeds up whenever you want me j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j I need that j
j I wanna be wherever you are wherever you are j
j heartbeat what you got, I want it like all week j
j what you got, I want it like all week j
j wherever you are, wherever you are j
[tender upbeat music playing]
[Lively upbeat music playing]