[Prince Edward] With barely enough time to recover
from my previous heroic feat,
I was on the road to a new adventure.
The people of the neighboring kingdom
turned to me for help--
a dreadful serpent took their princess.
Again, a new exciting quest only Prince Edward can take!
I arrived at the giant serpent's mountain lair.
One of the Earth's most vile creatures
did not expect that anyone
would be brave enough to challenge it.
Beware of my sword's shiny blade!
- Ha ha! - [bell tolls]
[Barbara] "With the giant serpent defeated,
the princess was free at last.
Tears sparkled in her eyes like diamonds.
'I love you, Prince Edward,'
she whispered to me passionately.
I moved a lock of auburn hair away from her face,
and said to her with a sad smile,
'Forgive me, for my heart forever belongs to another.'
Suddenly, I felt the vile breath of doom.
I turned my head and saw the frightful open mouth of the beast!"
To be continued...
♪♪
- [nanny 1] Barbara? - Barbara?
- Barbara?
She was here a moment ago.
Where could she have disappeared to?
- Oh! Oh! - Have you seen Barbara?
- What about you? - What about you?
Mister Chamberlain, sir!
The red carpet has arrived, as you requested,
except that it's green.
Then you'll just have to paint it!
Today is Princess Barbara's birthday.
Everything had better be perfect!
Theodore, is your head not screwed on right?
His head's in the workshop!
His Majesty took it off for repairs
after Theodore trimmed the top of the throne
thinking it was a hedge.
Bear with me, Theodore. We'll soon have you up and about.
Now, let's see what we have here.
Screwdriver.
Thanks, guys.
Hmm... Oh...
[all beeping and tinkling]
[whoomp]
[King Elijah chuckles]
Good morning, old boy.
Told you, you're too young to retire.
- [chattering] - Hmm?
[overtalking] Oh, this is terrible! Barbara, our dear girl!
What a disaster! She won't listen to us at all!
It's time to fit the dress, and--
What on earth is the matter? Shush! One at a time!
Gertrude, let's hear you first.
I'm Gertrude, she's Brunhilda.
I'm Brunhilda, she's Gertrude, Your Majesty.
And I'm Gretchen.
[in unison] We've lost Barbara!
How could you lose her?
What is she, a button?
What are you waiting for? Let's go.
[whispering] But quietly!
[beeping]
[sighs]
It's been ages since I got his last letter.
No, I understand, fighting injustice takes time and effort,
but he could have at least dropped me a line or two.
♪ I know I'll fall in love ♪
♪ It's what I'm dreaming of ♪
♪ The moment I feel it ♪
♪ My heart will reveal it ♪
♪ A precious blessing that comes from above ♪
♪ I was sure my fate lay in a lonely tower ♪
♪ But love has the power ♪
♪ To turn my life around ♪
♪ In a glimpse of an eye ♪
♪ Then I will reveal ♪
♪ All of my secrets to the one ♪
♪ The most special under the sun ♪
♪ I'm waiting for my love ♪
♪ Just to give me a sign ♪
♪ May the wind take away all my doubts and my sorrows ♪
♪ I hear a voice and it's calling my name ♪
♪ From far away ♪
♪ I know I'll fall in love ♪
♪ It's what I'm dreaming of ♪
♪ I look to the sky, where birds fly so high ♪
♪ And my heart is fluttering like a dove ♪
♪ Like a dove ♪
♪ Like a dove. ♪
[dove cooing]
- [King Elijah] Barbara! - [gasps]
Barbara! Are you there?!
What are you doing?!
[sneezes]
So you see, Bulbie,
the angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection.
Oh, hey, Daddy! Hi, nannies! The palace is noisy,
- so we decided to study here. - [bell tolls]
Studying is good,
but why did you choose to do it here?
Your room is perfectly comfortable--
Ow! Oof.
And most importantly, safe!
The clock tower is no place for a fragile girl like you, sweetie.
[Gertrude] Quite right!
No, no good at all! Full of spiders, dust and splinters!
She could fall and bam! Hurt herself and die!
And earlier, she was riding again!
- [gasps] Riding?! - [Gertrude] In the garden!
- [Brunhilda] Galloping! - Sweetie, are you all right?
Does it hurt anywhere? Your arms? Legs? Head?
Dad, I'm fine!
Barbara, didn't we agree that you wouldn't go horse riding?
Then why did you give me a horse?
Well... You asked for a pony, so I bought you a pony.
How was I supposed to know it would grow so big?
That's not even funny, Daddy.
I won't allow anything bad to happen to you!
And you! How could you lose sight of her?
- I told you: control! - [nannies] Control!
Control, and-- What am I going to do with you?
Why don't you put me in a glass jar? I'll definitely be safe then!
You'll take me out of the jar occasionally,
blow the dust off me and check that nothing's--
[gasps] Uh-oh.
What is that?
The Wonderless Adventures of Prince Edward.
It's "wondrous" adventures, Your Majesty.
Doesn't matter!
Steven!
Hello, I am here.
Steven, dispose of this garbage!
Dis... Dispose of what garbage?
The book! Dispose of the book!
And tell the post office to stop delivering
unsavory literature to the palace!
Tell Theodore to board up the entrance of the clock tower!
- [indistinct chatter] - [chickens clucking]
[woman] What's going on? What's the matter?
No idea, I saw people do it, so I joined in.
The post office is closed.
They said the royal postman was robbed in the forest.
- What? Again? - Yeah.
They said it was Bogey!
Huge horns! And those burning eyes...
the size of saucers!
Basil, why did you go through the forest?
You know everyone else avoids it.
I was running late, so I took a shortcut.
Basil, what about Princess Barbara's birthday presents?
I dropped everything and ran...
Ran for my life!
The letters, the packages,
and even a parcel with the King's money.
[groans]
Thank you.
[swallows loudly]
Oh! A letter!
I-I kept a letter addressed to Princess Barbara!
It's from abroad!
Go take it to the palace, then.
[choking] Me? How will I dare to look at the King again?
[sobbing]
Ahem.
Timothy, will you go?
Me? No, no, no, no, no.
Something is telling me, dear colleagues...
that Basil here is taking us all for big idiots.
Mind your own business, will you,
junior mail sorter?
I have a name, you know?
Oh! It's from that prince again.
Well, since y'all scared to go, I will.
[laughing] Joyce?
Yep. Plus, I need to take care of business.
I'll borrow your clunker, boss. [giggles]
- Hey, hey, stop! - [motorcycle starts]
- Joyce, no! - [engine revs]
[Gertrude] Oh, Barbara, sweetie! Oh, how it suits you!
Quite the blushing bride!
Bride? You moron! She's not getting married!
I said the dress was pretty and you're calling me a moron.
- You're a moron yourself. - What are you talking about?
[Brunhilda] You said "bride" and that was ridiculous!
Pedro, the dress fits perfectly!
The guests will be overjoyed!
I'm the only one who's not allowed to be overjoyed.
It's too dangerous! I could explode if I get overjoyed!
This stupid dress is from the last century.
Who am I supposed to be impersonating?
His Majesty insisted on this particular dress.
Well, in that case, let him wear it!
Your Highness, such behavior is unacceptable.
I shall have to report this to His Majesty.
Oh!
Ugh... What a nightmare.
- [motorcycle approaching] - What's that noise?
"Motrosickle" it's called. I read about it in a magazine.
[servant] The royal mail has arrived!
[gasps] The mail! At last!
No mail for you! Those are His Majesty's orders!
Your Highness, I demand that you--
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
At last! At last! At last!
Woo-hoo!
Hi, Basil! Did you bring me a new book?
Howdy.
Oh... Hello.
Are you doing Basil's shift?
Sure. And here's a letter for you, Your Highness.
From some prince...
Prince Edward?!
Ahem, Prince Edward?
You look even better in real life than in pictures.
That's a very inappropriate thing to say.
Anyways, I can't pay for your services now.
I'm all dressed up, you see?
You can't possibly buy my silence with your money.
- Excuse me? - I know everything.
- What? - Everything a junior mail sorter
can possibly know.
"Oh, Prince Edward, save me from this claustrophobic prison,
and from my father, who doesn't let me breathe!"
Have you been reading my letters?!
"Dear Barbara, I can't wait to see you.
I long to embrace you
- and whisper sweet love in your ear." - [gasps]
You don't want your royal daddy
to find out about all of this, do you?
What? What do you want from me?!
Well, let's start with a royal kiss.
[smooches]
How dare you?! You--
You know what you are? You're a weasel!
If Prince Edward was here, he'd beat you to a pulp!
Get out of here, now!
- [gasps] - There you are! Caught red-handed!
No mail for you! Your Highness...
Oh, this simply will not do! Oh, no!
Come back, please! Your Highness!
Your Highness...
No, no. You won't get rid of me that easily.
[malevolent chuckle]
Your Highness! Stop! Please!
You... [yelps]
Your Highness! [stammers]
We need to talk-- It's not--
- Oh, no! - Oh, no!
Oh!
♪♪
[grunts]
Ahem... Good day.
Let's see... "Dear Barbara, I can't wait to..."
- What's this all about? - Look, look!
He wants to embrace the princess and whisper in her ear!
Never heard anything like it before!
- [Gretchen] Neither have I! - [Brunhilda] Well, I have.
As if anyone ever whispered in your ear!
- Well, maybe someone did! - [King Elijah] Good grief!
"Yours truly, Edward." Who's Edward?!
The wonderless one, Your Majesty.
It's "wondrous," you moron.
- You're a moron yourself! - What?!
Your Highness?!
Off to your room, now!
Oh, boy...
But, Daddy, it's serious!
- We're in love! - [chokes]
In what? In love? But you're just a child!
Of course,
and you married my mother when you were 400 years old!
No! I mean... But that's your mother,
- and this is some sort of-- - He's not "some sort" of anything!
- He's one of a kind. - That's it, I've had enough!
The reception starts in two hours.
Don't be late.
And please, make yourself look respectable!
And don't so much as think about that wonderless prince!
It's "wondrous"!
Hmm...
I'll make myself look respectable, Daddy.
Just you wait. Everyone will be in awe.
♪♪
Hmm. A palace...
with a leaky roof?
But they've got money for stuff like this?
Oh!
Hmm?
Hey, mister! Mister! Mister!
Where does the main man hang out?
[chuckles]
I see you're the employee of the month here.
♪♪
Wow!
Look what we have here!
Is this where he prints his money?
[chuckles] These are cool.
Well... let's see...
[straining] here...
[screaming]
Turn it off! Off! Off! Off!
[coughs] Hmm?
♪♪
What... what are you doing here?!
[screams]
[indistinct chatter]
[beeping]
[groaning] You... Who are you?
How did you get in here?
[malevolent laugh]
Back in the orphanage,
I learned that only valuables are kept in safes.
Only the most valuable things.
Put the Spark back where you found it right now!
Oh! You think I'll just hand it over?
Just like that?
You want your firecracker back? Then where's the money?
Money? You idiot!
You've no idea what you're holding there!
Give it to me!
[grunting with effort]
Hand it over, or I'll call the guards!
[gasps]
Why aren't you calling them already, huh?
Are you worried I'll break this thing?
What if I do?
No! Stop!
Please...
How much do you want?
Look, I'll give you anything you want. Anything!
Anything I want, you say?
Hmm...
♪♪
- [meowing] - [barking]
[yelps]
It's like a madhouse in here!
♪♪
[distant barking]
- [cat screams] - [barking continues]
- [laughter, indistinct chatter] - [distant honking]
[car door closes]
- [music playing] - [indistinct chatter]
[Steven] His Great Imperial Majesty,
King Elijah the First!
[mic feedbacks]
And now, the birthday girl herself,
Her Royal Highness, Princess Barbara!
[crowd murmurs, gasps]
♪♪
How do you like your dress now, Daddy?
Am I respectable enough for you?
It was your mother's dress!
So, um... I'm glad to welcome you all...
at this b-b-ball...
in honor of my daughter Barbara's... wedding.
- [all gasp] - What?
Allow me to-to present the groom.
It's... He's...
- a jolly fine fellow... - [bell dings]
...a man of numerous merits...
- Junior mail sorter, Bundy Joyce! - [crowd reacts]
Please give him a big hand.
Daddy? Is this because of the dress?
Howdy, bourgeoisie!
Don't you go anywhere!
We'll have the wedding ceremony right here and now,
and then dessert and dancing,
so stick around!
[laughs]
Let's waltz, Highness.
Um, Daddy?!
Fireball. Fireball!
What fireball?
- It's her pony. - Pony?!
Fireball!
- [whinnying] - [crowd clamoring]
♪♪
[yelps, groans]
That's a pony?!
- [whinnying] - Darling!
Forgive me, sweetie!
Did someone say, "Fire in the hole"?
- Bolt the doors! - [crowd screaming]
[neighing]
Everybody stay calm!
Nobody gets away from the royal mail.
[whinnying]
[engine revs]
Out of my way!
[engine revs]
♪♪
[Joyce exclaiming]
[whinnying]
[Joyce groaning]
Um...
King's daughter, eight letters.
Princess! Princess!
That fits! Next one's a bit harder, though.
Carrier of written communications.
Seven letters.
Postman!
You've a clear mind, buddy!
You should be in artillery,
cleaning cannons!
♪♪
[gasps]
[yells, groans]
[panting, gasps]
- [whinnying] - [galloping away]
[insects chirping]
[beeps twice]
Edward...
Yep, the one and only.
♪♪
♪ Most people say ♪
♪ That fortune's determined by the random hand of fate ♪
♪ But I say ♪
♪ Your lucky break doesn't come every day ♪
♪ So grab on before it is too late ♪
- ♪ And tell me why shouldn't I ♪ - [beaver screaming]
♪ Take my chance at the big time ♪
♪ When I can hardly wait? ♪
♪ A lucky break's never caused any harm ♪
♪ This lucky break could be my lucky charm ♪
♪ I won't pass up opportunities ♪
♪ I'm wide awake ♪
♪ Gonna take all that I can take ♪
♪ My lucky break. ♪
[whistle blowing]
[Rabbit] Hey, you!
This is our forest, not yours!
Drop the sack, now!
Say what? This is mine!
[tsks] Bad idea. You know Bogey?
You gonna know him real soon!
- [inhales deeply] - [blowing whistle]
[roaring]
[thumping]
[groans] This sack is mine! Mine! Mine!
[Bogey] Here, everything is mine!
- Bogey?! - Get out of this forest!
- [roaring] - [birds cawing]
[whining]
[low growling]
[whining, yelling]
[grunting]
[whining]
[laughing]
- [power surges] - [yelps, grunts]
Wh-what-- what-- what happened?
No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! No!
My arm... My arm! Oh...
[groans] Huh?
♪♪
[birds chirping]
[chittering angrily]
[high-pitched beep]
♪♪
[Barbara grunts]
No... [sneezes]
Hey, Bulbie! Where are we?
Oh, wow! This looks like some forest robbers' hideout!
D'you remember Edward's 15th book?
Ew, yuck!
Oh, an apple!
What is it, Bulbie?
Hmm...
Bulbie! That's our book!
- [grunting] Oh! - [tiara clatters]
[gasps]
[moans lightly]
- [gasps] - [low growling]
[gasps]
[yelps]
[yelling]
Huh? What?
What's going on?!
Huh? Uh?
Bogey?
[grunts] Who are you?
- I'm... - Where did you come from?
Who, me? From the sack.
- But I'm leaving now. - Huh? Huh?!
And I swear, I didn't touch anything.
Oh! [groans]
Hmm. This motorcycle looks familiar!
And I have absolutely nothing against robbers.
We're not robbers.
We're keepers!
Ooh! And a talking bunny! Uh, pleased to meet you.
I am Princess Barbara.
I've got problems and I need to find Prince Edward.
Could you please tell me the way to his palace?
No? I'll find it myself, then. Bye!
[grunts]
- [gate rattles, thuds] - [gasps]
You're Princess Barbara?
You mean, you're the-- King Elijah's daughter?
Um, yes, indeed I am.
Brother, how much can we get for a princess?
[gasps] Let's hold her for ransom!
Today's your lucky day, human!
We'll sell you back to the p-palace!
What? To the palace?
♪♪
Come on, a royal kiss...
[shudders]
Ugh! Not to my dad's palace.
I'm going to Prince Edward's palace!
[malevolent laugh]
Take me there. [yelps] Please!
[grunts]
- Ooh! [groans] - [tiara tinkles]
Nobody will go into the forest, Your Majesty!
They're all scared!
We need to put Barbara's comb under a pillow.
Then we will see everything in a dream!
- Good idea! - Well, I think
- we should put a notice in the paper! - Yeah! Yeah!
"Missing princess! Long blond hair, blue eyes..."
No, dullard! She's got short hair now!
And everyone knows what she looks like!
Put a notice in the newspaper, Steven.
It will be done, Your Majesty!
[barking]
[gasps] Joyce?!
[barking]
Joyce! Where's Barbara? Did you find her?
[chuckling] Oh, yes, I found her.
She's been kidnapped!
[gasps] By whom?
Who terrorizes your forest and gets away with it?
Who's-who's terrorizing?
You know who!
- Bogey! - [nannies yelp]
Wh-what are we to do?
First thing I want to know is how this sparkly thing works.
The Spark?
It's water that brings everything to life,
animate and inanimate things.
It brings things to life, you say?
From where did you get it?
- [grunts] - It was 16 years ago.
Barbara was born a very weak baby.
We were afraid that she wouldn't make it.
I really needed to find a little of this "water of life."
We've found it, Your Majesty!
This is the source.
♪♪
[shimmers]
So... it's real.
[birds cawing]
The legend says nobody dare take this water.
I'm the King.
I dare do anything.
What, did you really say that?
"I'm the King. I dare do anything!"
I really like that. [chuckles]
So? Then what?
So I...
I took some of that water.
[whinnying]
♪♪
[low-tone shimmering]
- Run, Your Majesty! - [whinnying]
Run! Save yourselves!
Run! Run!
Come here, Dumpling!
[whinnies]
[choral music playing]
[whinnies]
[King Elijah] The road got blocked with boulders.
So that's how I got the Spark.
Hmm, what an intriguing story.
Now tell me, Majesty,
can your great engineers knock together
some more of these dummies?
Let's say, a dozen soldiers...
with claws?
Oh, of course!
Splendid. Bogey won't stand a chance.
[Barbara] Please let me go.
Please!
Hey! You'll be sorry for treating me like this!
And you, Rabbit, careful with my book!
Your book is garbage! Total garbage!
Only one picture
and it's of some dunderheaded idiot, standing there,
all pleased with himself, in a metal suit, sniffing flowers!
What's there to be pleased about?
His metal shirt will rust!
[yelps]
That's a suit of armor, you silly rabbit.
He's got a very sharp sword, I'll have you know!
He kills monsters with it,
chops their heads clean off!
Hey, stop doing that!
You know, Bogey, you're an ideal candidate for some head-chopping.
Prince Edward has beheaded scarier monsters than you!
- Ow-- - Quit your squawking!
Yuck! Bogey, you need to brush your teeth!
And learn some manners! I'm a princess, you know?
And I will not allow you to-- [continues, muffled]
You're not a princess in our forest, missy.
- [grunts] - [Bogey yelling]
[whiny yelping]
[gasps]
[screaming]
Brother! Brother! Hang in there, brother!
Try moving your arms up and down!
No, no! Not like that!
No! Hold onto me, brother!
- [grunts] - [Rabbit groans]
What's wrong? Can't he swim?!
[Bogey screaming]
Some king of the forest! Bulbie, follow me!
♪♪
- [Bogey yelling] - Brother, help me! I'm drowning!
Hey! Take the deepest breath you can!
[inhaling deeply]
♪♪
My Dad's an expert engineer. You can breathe out now.
[both exhaling, panting]
Well, now that I've saved you two, we're even.
And you know what, Bogey? You look much better after a wash.
Let's go, Bulbie. We'll have to find our own way.
Hey, where are you going?
Stop! Who's gonna pay your ransom? Stop, I said!
What makes you think you can give me orders in my own forest, little bunny?
No way it's yours! Brother, you tell her!
[low growling]
Let me remind you that I am the princess here,
and you are my subjects.
This forest belongs to the state!
To me, that is.
- No way it's yours! - Mine, mine, mine!
This forest is not yours!
- Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine! - It is not!
Mine! Everything here is mine!
- I own this land! - [growls]
[Barbara screaming]
That's it, you bulby fly. Your princess is done.
Stop! Put me back down!
Let go!
How dare you?!
[Barbara screaming]
[continues screaming]
Get your paws off me, you monster!
Humans! Hiding there in your little world of concrete,
thinking you know everything!
You think you rule here, princess, but you don't!
She's been here a thousand princesses before you, Barbara,
and she'll still be here many thousand after you're gone.
Who's "she"?
Mother Nature, the source of all life!
This land is hers alone.
- [choral music playing] - [shimmer]
Now do you understand who you are?
I'm... a speckle of dust.
[shimmers]
Dear, kind Bogey, if you don't help me,
I'm done!
Save me! Please!
[sobbing]
♪♪
[machinery whirring]
Hey, ladies, I asked for a coffee!
Where's my coffee?
Theodore is rushing to make it.
Rushing, rushing. Oh...
[laughing] That's the employee of the month!
- Done. - [arm whirring]
Wow! Ha! Huh.
Can I have spikes coming out of this thing?
Or claws, like the birdie does?
Yes, you can have claws.
That's a nice-looking birdie you made.
I'll call it... how about Steel Eye?
Hmm. Do you think it'll fly?
There are no crystals left, Joyce,
so no, the bird won't fly.
Hmm...
Here you are, runner.
Whoa!
Hey, you, clueless kettlehead,
take his crystal right now!
Did you hear what I said?
Take the stone out of this thing.
His name is Theodore!
And I follow only His Majesty's orders!
Joyce, that's just... wrong.
Hmm... Do you want your daughter back
or is this metal dummy more important?
We won't find her without this bird.
[whirring]
Do it.
But... Your Majesty!
Oh, come on, let's just get it over!
- [powers down] - [evil laugh]
Always ask for more, that's my motto!
What will happen if people keep asking for more and more and more?
We'll all be doomed.
- [low growling] - My puppies...
Go and find Bogey and rip him to pieces!
[dogs clanking]
Steel Eye, show them the way!
[whirring]
Oh! Oh!
Oops! That's my bad!
♪♪
B-b-brother, how did we end up like this?
One minute we're on our way to get a ransom for the human,
and everything's fine, and the next, wham!
We're off to the other side of the forest to see...
[stammering] What's his name?
His name is Prince Edward!
And Bogey is helping me because he has a kind heart!
Blind star! Hey, can you stop turning your head?
I'm trying to be mean to the human.
Why do you need to see this prince anyway?
Does he owe you money or something?
[Barbara laughs]
No, bunny. We're in love!
- What's "love"? - I know, it's a disease!
- A crushing disease! - [Barbara laughs]
Don't be silly, bunny!
Love is the most wonderful feeling ever!
- It's probably catching. - [Barbara scoffs]
You're so mean, bunny! Come on, let's keep moving.
All this idle talk is exasperating!
Exa-what-spare-thing?
It means I'm fed up with you, you're tiring me out,
you're frustrating, annoying, and irritating me!
You're ex-as-per-a-ting!
What?! [stammers] What?!
You ought to read books. That'll enrich your vocabulary.
Come on, catch up!
♪ I was sure my fate lay in a lonely tower ♪
♪ But love has the power ♪
♪ To turn my life around ♪
♪ In a glimpse of an eye ♪
♪ Then I will reveal ♪
♪ All of my secrets to the one ♪
♪ The most special under the sun ♪
♪ I'm waiting for my love ♪
♪ Just to give me a sign ♪
♪ May the wind take away all my doubts and my sorrows ♪
♪ I hear a voice and it's calling my name ♪
♪ From far away ♪
♪ I know I'll fall in love ♪
♪ It's what I'm dreaming of ♪
♪ I look to the sky, where birds fly so high ♪
♪ And my heart is fluttering like a dove ♪
♪ Like a dove ♪
♪ Like a dove. ♪
Brother, something tells me she'll lead us to this prince
and he'll run us through with that sword of his,
or maybe even cut something important off.
But I'm telling you, brother, she's evil,
like all the rest of them humans!
No, brother, she's a speckle.
♪♪
I'm flapping my arms,
but they're not arms!
They're what? They're wings!
[laughing]
You couldn't have made it more obvious, you silly!
- You're a bird! - [groans]
My turn now!
Five little ducks went out one day,
over the hills and far away.
Mother Duck said, "Quack, quack, quack, quack,"
but only four little ducks came back.
Hey.
Hey, show your face!
Wh-- Hmm? Hmm?
Oh, no! Anything but that!
Have you got a crush on her?
Hey! Hey!
Forget it, she's not your kind!
What do you see in her? She got no horns, no fur...
Arrrgh! Boo!
Boo! This forest is mine!
No one's allowed to step in it!
Anyone who trespasses will be eaten, guts and all!
- [Rabbit laughing] - Get out of my forest!
Boooo! Arrrgh!
[continues laughing]
Well, can you guess who this is?
I don't know. What is it?
I'm not a robber!
- I'm just big and scary! - Maybe you guessed it?
- I did. - Fear me!
Boo! Arrgh! Boo!
Argh... [gasps]
Do you think I upset him?
Eh, just let him be.
Being alone helps him sometimes.
Bunny, tell me how you two met.
Well... it's a funny story.
I found him when he was just this small!
- [wind blowing] - He got lost in the forest.
The boy didn't know where his parents were.
Wait, so he was a human?
[Rabbit] Yeah, a small one.
Alone, he would've perished.
But Mother Nature saved his life....
[shimmering]
[thunderclap]
[warbling]
[choral music playing]
...and sent him on a noble mission!
[Barbara] What kind of mission?
[Rabbit] Protecting the forest, what else?
From people who cut down trees and scare animals.
[yips]
♪ The woods are safe as long as I am here ♪
♪ I keep the taiga far from any danger ♪
♪ No creature, big or small, has much to fear ♪
♪ So why does my own soul feel like a stranger? ♪
♪ My forest home, expansive as the sky ♪
♪ Is nature at its finest, matched by no one ♪
♪ If everything is perfect here, then why ♪
♪ Do I still end up longing for someone? ♪
[sighs]
Mother Nature gave Bogey the strength of ten bears,
and he's been protecting her ever since.
I mean, we've been protecting her.
Uh, to be more precise, I'm in charge of security and he does what I say.
But why do you rob people?
We just don't let them into the forest. They leave their junk behind.
Hmm, so you don't care about money?
Are you kidding? We love money!
Watch!
Mm...
[gasps]
[sighs] See how lovely it burns?
- [chuckles] - It's a shame that was the last of it.
[growling]
Hey, did you say your Edward is rich?
Don't you worry, bunny. When we find him,
he'll give you a hundred bags of money.
No way! I'm beginning to like this prince of yours!
[Rabbit yawns]
[birds chirping]
[Rabbit moaning, muttering]
Hey...
[screams] Keep away from my money!
[karate yelling]
Who's there?
I think Bogey's gone missing.
♪♪
Bogey!
No need to shout. I know how to find him.
[blowing whistle]
[whistle echoes]
[gasps]
- Bunny... - What?
[gasps]
Where did that iron rat come from?
I think I know.
[snorts]
It can't see us. Let's pretend we're stones.
- Don't move. - I wasn't going to.
- [foot squishes] - [growls]
Move now! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!
- [barking] - Move! Move! Move!
[Barbara panting]
- [both yelping] - [barking continues]
[grunting]
- [snarling] - [panting]
[breathing heavily, grunting]
- [exclaims] - [panting]
[panting]
[crying]
Would you-- [scoffs]
Look at that! It kicked the bucket!
I miss my daddy...
B-b-but he made this [stammering] thing!
Your daddy is a mean and nasty man!
The worst of all humans!
Not true! Don't say that about him!
You don't know him!
That's what you think! I do know him.
How many talking rabbits have you ever seen, huh, Barbara?
I was all torn up by foxes when he found me.
He took me to his... laboratory,
and, well...
[sighs]
[tinkling]
Oh, bunny, but you...
I was-- I was basically a f-f-freak show exhibit!
"Oh, look, a talking rabbit!"
- But he saved your life. - No, he didn't, he took it!
My children... they were scared of me!
I'm just like this... thing.
I'm a thing!
You're not a thing, bunny. You have a soul.
[whines]
[galloping approaches]
[horses whinnying]
[animals screaming]
[low growling]
[angry chittering]
[squeaks]
[snarling]
[mechanical whirring]
[gasps]
[growls]
- [chittering] - [barking]
[whirring, trilling]
Look at yourself, Joyce, so handsome!
Such fancy gloves! The belt, too!
And the boots-- so fashionable!
And would you look at his hat?
Simply majestic! Oh, and the buttons, so shiny!
Your title should be Your Splendidness!
You can address me as... Lord Commander.
Wonderful!
Simply wonderful!
Lord Commander General!
[laughing]
- [bird calling] - Hmm? Huh!
♪♪
[screeching]
- [inhales sharply] - Run!
[beaver screaming]
- Hurry! - [Rabbit yelping]
Stop!
[growling]
[inquisitive grunt]
[both yelping and groaning]
[grunting]
♪♪
[yells]
Well, what have you got there?
Nothing yet.
[screaming, grunting]
[everybody screaming]
[breathing hard]
[grunts]
[all breathing hard]
[panting]
[Bogey grunting]
- [Barbara yells] - [grunting]
[Barbara groans]
[chitters]
[panting]
[gasps] Barbara!
Huh?
Let me see it.
Bogey! My dear Bogey!
I was beginning to think
I'd have to find a new [stammers] monster!
Bogey is a real knight.
No, no way is he real.
A moment.
Bogey, kneel before me.
For saving the life of Princess Barbara,
mine, that is,
I dub thee Sir Bogey!
[epic music playing]
Thank you, Sir.
And thank you, too.
- [angry chittering] - [laughing]
♪♪
Bogey... hmm.
And what is that? Hmm...
[shimmers]
What is that?!
[stammering] Doesn't matter. We found Barbara!
- Ow! - Hands off the controls!
So have you been keeping it a secret from me?
Oh, you naughty Majesty!
But Joyce, look! Barbara is safe!
We no longer need our magic robot army!
My magic army.
Guards, take this pathetic wimp and lock him up.
But... but what about Barbara?!
Fine, whatever, I'll marry her.
There isn't much of the Spark left.
But there it is! Coming out of the ground!
In tons!
There's enough of it there for me to take over the world!
- [fingers snapping] - ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
- [fingers snapping] - ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-- ♪
♪ Ready or not, 'cause here I come ♪
♪ Outta my way, get under my thumb ♪
♪ Starting today, I'm done thinking small ♪
♪ 'Cause I want it all ♪
♪ I'm gonna live it up ♪
♪ I'm gonna live it ay, ay, ay, up ♪
♪ I'm gonna live it up ♪
♪ This time there's no going back ♪
♪ Keep up, 'cause I'm on the winning track ♪
♪ Turns out being bad's more fun than being good ♪
♪ I'm in, wouldn't change it if I could ♪
♪ I may seem ambitious ♪
♪ But wealth and power taste so delicious ♪
♪ The world respects you more when you're vicious ♪
♪ Why should I worry about loyalty? ♪
♪ When I am royalty, you'll love me ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ I'm gonna live it up. ♪
[marching footsteps]
[Bogey, Rabbit and Barbara] ♪ We're headed on a journey ♪
♪ Through field and mountainside ♪
♪ The path may be trying ♪
♪ But we've no plans to hide ♪
♪ We'll keep marching forward with our enemies at bay ♪
♪ A rabbit, a beast ♪
♪ And a princess runaway ♪
♪ If we stick together ♪
♪ There's nothing we can't win ♪
♪ We'll brave any storm the three of us ♪
♪ Through thick and thin ♪
[Rabbit] ♪ And though we've just met ♪
♪ I think our trio's here to stay ♪
♪ A rabbit, a beast ♪
♪ And a princess runaway ♪
♪ A rabbit, a beast ♪
♪ And a princess runaway! ♪
Bogey, hey, tell me, who wrote this song?
Nobody wrote this song. That's how all the best songs happen.
When your words feel too big for talking,
- that's when you need a song! - [Rabbit] That's so true!
[Barbara] ♪ We'll brave every challenge ♪
♪ Our path is tried and true ♪
♪ This trek would be boring ♪
♪ If not for both of you ♪
[Bogey] ♪ The sky is the limit ♪
♪ There's nothing in our way ♪
♪ A rabbit, a beast ♪
♪ And a princess runaway! Hey! ♪
Question-- how come I don't get... final billing...
- in the song? - [giggling]
I'm important!
It's so the timing works. [chuckles]
Ah, that makes sense!
[all] ♪ The sky is the limit ♪
♪ There's nothing in our way ♪
♪ A rabbit, a beast ♪
♪ And a princess... ♪
Well, guess that's it. We're here.
[gasps]
♪♪
[sighs]
Barbara, you have to go alone now.
Go towards your dream...
[sniffles]
...and be happy.
Ah, well, so long, human!
Don't go!
You don't need that Edward!
Stay with us and-and we'll scare people together!
We'll be a team!
I'm sorry, bunny, but I must save my daddy.
- [Rabbit crying] - I can't do it without Edward.
Oh, can I take your whistle as a memory gift?
No. You can't.
- I'll make you a new one. - Hmm?
[groans, grunts]
Well...
Thank you.
[Bogey stammers]
[sighs]
[sniffles]
Oh, brother...
- [whistle blowing] - Huh?
- Speckle! - My sweet Bogey!
I'll never forget you!
You're the kindest and loveliest monster in the world!
[sniffles]
So please don't forget me either!
♪♪
[mechanical whirring]
Fire.
[choral music playing]
[Barbara] ♪ Walking through this city and it's all so new ♪
♪ Don't know where I am or where I'm heading to ♪
♪ Being truly lost never felt so free ♪
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ Breathing in the magic of a brand new place ♪
♪ Every time I turn, I see your handsome face ♪
♪ It feels like all of these glittering lights ♪
♪ Are for me ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm flying on air ♪
♪ Soaring to new heights ♪
♪ On every corner, there's breathtaking new sights ♪
♪ But none as amazing as the one I'll find ♪
♪ Now's the time to meet you at last ♪
♪ Didn't know that a heartbeat could go this fast ♪
♪ And our love will be the kind ♪
♪ Poets will write about ♪
♪ I want to shout it ♪
♪ From the highest tower this city has ♪
♪ Just like the one I'm searching for you ♪
♪ I have dreamed our love is the kind that lasts ♪
♪ And I know it's about to come true ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ Come true. ♪
Prince Edward?!
[typing noises]
Oh! Uh...
Oh, a fan...
I wonder what the security guards are up to.
Sweetheart, what happened? Why are you such a mess?
I... Um... I'm sorry... I was in the forest.
So what do you want?
A postcard? An autograph?
You can choose from 20 messages for the regular price of one coin,
or get a personalized message!
"Kisses, Edward" for two coins,
"To my best friend, from Edward" for three coins,
or "Thank you for the magical night" for 19 coins.
Uh... thanks, but definitely not the "magical night" one.
Too bad.
In that case, it'll be the usual--
"To my devoted fan."
What's your name?
Um... Barbara.
Um, excuse me, but where's Prince Edward?
Can I see Prince Edward right now?
[snorts, giggles]
Prince Edward... He must be--
He's your brother, right? I'm here to see him.
Can you tell him I'm here?
I'm Barbara, he knows who I am.
We've been writing to each other for a long time, we--
Why are you looking at me like that?
Don't you believe me?
Look, here's a letter from him!
Sweetie, how do I explain this?
I am Prince Edward.
Or to be more precise, I made him up.
What do you mean, "made him up"?
I-I don't get it. What for?
Nobody bought The Adventures of Princess Edwardina.
But what about all the daring feats?
The noble deeds? The love?
Of course, sweetie. That all sells wonderfully.
For our millions of dedicated fans, just like you,
my team and I come up with our storylines.
It's very sweet that you believe our stories,
I'm genuinely touched.
But I'm afraid it is an auto-reply letter
that we send out to all our female subscribers.
♪♪
Oh, sweetie, this must be a terrible disenchantment for you.
That's a good word, someone write it down.
Excellent! Excellent word, boss!
Boss, take a look at this! You're going to love it!
You say your name is Barbara?
People are looking for you, Barbara.
It says here you ran away from your own wedding
and upset your father.
It wasn't a wedding! I mean... Princess Edwardina,
an evil postman named Joyce cast a spell on my daddy!
I ran away to find Prince Edward.
I want to marry him and only him!
Bogey and the talking rabbit helped me get here!
You want to marry Edward, postman cast a spell...
I see.
A talking rabbit, you say? A bougie?
Bogey!
Indeed.
Sweetie, I bet you're really tired.
Eric, arrange dinner and a room for our guest.
And you lot, get back to work!
Show's over.
♪♪
[barking]
[barking continues]
That is for Theodore!
- [Gertrude] Well done, Steven! - [Brunhilda] Well done, Steven!
- Come on, let's go! - [barking]
[door unlocks]
Thank you, Princess Edwardina, this is very kind of you.
Not at all, not at all.
What an amazing story you told me.
So much adventure! I could write a book about it.
Now you get some sleep, Barbara.
You need to get your strength back.
By the way, Eric ordered you a new dress.
It will arrive in the morning
and you'll head off home to your daddy.
What? How? But you said-- You promised!
Princess Edwardina, I can't marry that horrid man!
Please, that's not fair!
You can't! I don't love him!
My dear girl... Love... Fairness...
Barbara, those are just words.
They were made up to keep the masses happy.
They don't really mean anything.
Eric, our dear guest needs to rest now.
You'll have to grow up one day, sweetie.
Right now is as good a time as any to start.
Your daddy offered a very good reward.
A seven-figure sum! I'm impressed!
- [chuckles] - [turns key]
♪♪
Right... I need a screwdriver.
Uh-uh.
- [buzzing] - Soldering iron.
Thank you.
Like so.
Well, that's it.
Done.
[crackling]
[coughing]
[gasps]
Theodore's alive!
Your Majesty!
Steven! Gertrude!
I'm Brunhilda. She's Gertrude!
I'm Gertrude and that's Brunhilda, Your Majesty.
I'm so glad to see you!
Quick, we don't have much time.
We have to act fast!
- Come on, Theodore! Come on! - [mechanical rattling]
[Gertrude] Come on! Come on! Come on!
[Brunhilda] Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Just a little bit faster! - [Brunhilda] Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Come on! - [Gertrude] Come on, Theodore!
- [Brunhilda] Come on! - [Gertrude] Just a little bit faster.
[Gretchen] Come on, Theodore.
♪♪
Bulbie!
Bulbie, I'm in big trouble. What do I do now?
Of course!
[whistle blows]
[trains rattling]
Bogey!
[whistle blows]
[gasps]
Oh, no...
Bulbie, where are you going?
[beeping]
- [sighs] - [distant traffic noises]
[Rabbit muttering]
[gasps]
What about the money?!
We forgot to get the money from the Edward guy!
My old one was made of copper.
Let's test this one.
[whistle blowing]
Wh-what's that?
People!
They ought to be [spits] whipped!
Ouch!
[Bulbie beeping]
Hey! Hey, what was that for?! That hurt!
Something's happened to Barbara!
[beeping]
What? I don't get it.
Barbara's in trouble!
Hey, no, no, no! We have to go back home!
We can't-- Look, Barbara's a human!
Humans have their own business.
Let them sort it out!
Brother, she's our Speckle!
♪♪
[sobbing]
[people screaming]
[cars screeching]
[honking]
[weeping]
♪♪
[screams]
[beeping]
[grunting]
[screaming]
[gasps]
[both laughing]
Mm.
[grunts]
[growling]
Your Highness,
did you think we would just let you walk out of here?
[growls] Out of my way!
- Ooh! - [growling continues]
Oh! It can really speak!
It will be a shame to put a hole in such a magnificent fur...
[roars]
But you leave me no choice!
[low growling]
[Edwardina] Lower your guns!
What? Why?
Let them pass.
- [growls] - [whimpers]
Thank you.
But, ma'am, what about the money?
- You know, seven figures! - So dumb.
Today we were lucky to be part of a real-life fairytale.
And that's worth all the money in the world.
No bonuses for you this month.
[gasps]
♪♪
[whistle blowing]
Brother!
[whistle blowing continues]
I hear you, brother! I'm coming!
[Barbara grunting]
Bogey! No!
[Joyce laughs]
[whistle blows]
[mockingly] "Brother, help me!"
[groans lightly]
[growls]
[yelps]
No!
- [crackling continues] - [exhales]
Cut his horns off!
I'll nail them to the town gates.
People will love it!
[saws buzzing]
No! Don't!
Stop, Joyce! I--
I will marry you. But let him go!
Hmm.
[grunting]
Of course you'll marry me.
It's not like you have a choice!
Start pumping!
[King Elijah] Stop right there, Joyce!
You still have a chance to fix everything
and redeem yourself!
Daddy!
Hmm... How does it go?
"I'm the King. I dare to do everything!"
You can't stop me! All this is mine!
I'll take as much magic water as I want!
[King Elijah] You fool!
You can't escape the wrath of Mother Nature!
You're starting to get on my nerves, old man!
Steel Eye, get him!
And you, what are you waiting for? Kill him!
No! Tell them to stop! No!
- [Rabbit protesting] - Don't kill him!
Get away from him!
[buzzing]
- [warbling] - [powering down]
Did you really think that I would make you a super army
without making myself a super button?
- Ha! - [machine powers down]
♪♪
Hey! Hey! Get up, you!
Bogey! Hold on, I'll help you!
[Rabbit grunting]
[breathing hard]
[grunting]
[breathy laugh]
[groans]
[vial clatters]
- [banging] - [Rabbit grunting]
[Barbara and Rabbit grunting]
[gasps] Hey, look!
I stand by my motto! Always ask for more!
[malevolent laugh]
[groaning]
♪♪
[deeper voice] How funny!
I wanted to be a king!
What a modest ambition that was!
Sometimes,
in order to realize your ambitions are small,
you have to get big!
[metal straining]
Real big!
[grunting, groaning]
Bogey!
Hmm...
Well, Mother Nature...
Where is your crown?
I want to try it on!
[chuckles]
Bow to your new master!
Because from now on,
I will rule the world!
Bow!
[thunder rolling]
Bow!
♪♪
[yelling] Noooo!
Ha! Take that!
Bogey!
- [Barbara grunts, screams] - Huh?
- Bogey! - Speckle!
[grunting]
♪♪
[whimpering]
Sweetie!
- [screaming] - Speckle!
Ha!
You're still alive?
- [grunts] - [screaming]
Barbara!
[Barbara screaming]
Bogey! Bogey!
♪♪
- [Rabbit panting] - [beeps]
[whistle blowing]
[beeping]
[Barbara yelps]
[yelling]
[continues yelling]
[grunting]
[screaming]
[yelps]
- My dear Bogey. - [beeping]
Hey, Bulbie!
Hmm?
- Daddy! - Barbara! Sweetie!
- Oh, Daddy... - Thank goodness you're safe!
♪♪
Hey, wh-what do you want?
[buzzing]
Take this!
[laughs] We did it! We won!
[warbling]
Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Ow! Oh... [groans]
My... little heart... [exhales]
Brother!
[gasps, pants]
[machinery grinding]
- [gasps] - Sweetie!
- [heart beating] - Huh? Huh?
What's happening, Daddy?
I'm not real, am I?
Am I a robot?
Oh, no, sweetheart.
You're real! The most real thing in the whole world.
It's just that, you and your mom--
Look, when you were born, you were very ill.
I had to make you a new heart,
but I was too late to save your mom.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I ran away to the ends of the Earth to look for my prince.
- Where else could you find one? - [breathing heavily]
Well, did you?
[sniffling] I found him.
[breathing hard, sniffs]
But I--
ruined Mommy's dress.
[exhales]
[sobbing]
My sweet daughter...
- [sobbing] - Huh.
My sweet daughter...
♪♪
[grunting]
[roaring]
Hear me, o Mother Nature!
I have been your faithful servant
as long as I remember!
I beg you, let her live!
If you must...
If you must take someone,
take me!
Spare them and take me!
♪♪
[warbling]
♪♪
[gasps]
[wind blowing]
[trotting echoes]
♪♪
[horse neighs]
♪ Icy winds have frozen ♪
♪ All the happiness we shared ♪
♪ And hope is somewhere buried under snow ♪
♪ It's wrong to wish for miracles ♪
♪ I know I'm unprepared ♪
♪ But my heart has nowhere else to go ♪
♪ I will show you ♪
♪ I'll come back for you ♪
♪ Before the winter melts away ♪
♪ I will go through ♪
♪ Anything I have to ♪
♪ I'm not giving up ♪
♪ Not today ♪
♪ Princesses in storybooks get rescued by a kiss ♪
♪ But magic spells won't come to save us here ♪
♪ Real life is not a fairytale ♪
♪ There's no rewriting this ♪
♪ And I can't wish you back to me, I fear ♪
♪ I will show you ♪
♪ I'll come back for you ♪
♪ Before the winter's frost is gone ♪
♪ I will go through ♪
♪ Anything I have to ♪
♪ Don't give up, I won't be long. ♪
[sobbing]
[all sobbing]
There, there, sweetie. You have to move on and...
you should stop coming here.
[Barbara sobbing]
[whip cracks]
[wind blowing]
♪♪
Huh?
- [shimmer] - [gasps] What?
- [whistle blowing] - [both gasp]
[warbling]
♪♪
Oh!
Bogey?
[gasps, exhales sharply]
[shimmers]
Speckle!
Oh, Bogey! My valiant knight!
[Barbara giggling]
I never lost hope! I never lost hope!
- Speckle! - [laughing]
Speckle!
- Uh... - [quiet cheering]
Oh...
[shimmering]
Thank you, Mother Nature.
Yes, thank you.
♪♪
[sighs]
[groans]
Even the strength of ten bears is gone for good.
You spoiled such a perfectly good monster!
[laughs]
[woman vocalizing]