1 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:22,489 In 3 world where only 0315 were living 2 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:25,925 where the heroes ran in short supply 3 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,429 to a land so harsh and unforgiving 4 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:33,667 rode a hero, the blaz/ng samurai 5 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,271 when one town was found to be in danger 6 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:41,908 from the evildoers dropping by 7 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,211 who appeared? That brave and mighty stranger 8 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:49,749 to save the day came the blazing samurai 9 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:54,387 sent by the shogun with arrows and blowgun 10 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,624 his nunchucks could poke out an eye 11 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:03,229 trained in bushido, the samurai's credo he mastered a/kido 12 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:06,466 he really was one awesome guy 13 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,703 he was legend with his sword a-s wing/ng 14 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:13,606 I/illains feared his fearsome battle cry 15 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,776 conquered hate with justice he was bringing 16 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:20,547 he took a stand to save the land 17 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:26,319 praise the blazing samurai 18 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,459 where did that come from? 19 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,960 The title department. 20 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,905 That blue should be more blue blue. 21 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,441 That's wrong. 22 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:51,444 You can't climb those. Start again. 23 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,980 You like these? 24 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,952 How's everything coming along? 25 00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:01,955 The shogun is coming to visit in one week. 26 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:04,691 Everyone knows he's trying to decide who his successor will be. 27 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,260 And if I have anything to do with it, it'll be me. 28 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:11,531 I've spared no expense making this the grandest palace in the land. 29 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,667 Imported mice to chase. 30 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,635 Fine couches to ruin. 31 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,672 And the crown Jewel of the palace, 32 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,207 my state-of-the-art bathroom. 33 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,877 Behold, the future! 34 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,713 I call it the super bowl. 35 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,182 Because that's what it is, a super bowl. 36 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,550 Impressive. 37 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,352 I hope the shogun thinks so. 38 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,488 The only thing left to solve is our little problem. 39 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,624 - Kakamucho? - Precisely. 40 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:41,895 What do you do when you're a landlord, and you have tenants you really hate? 41 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,530 You evict them. 42 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,332 But the town's been there for thousands of years. 43 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,336 I give you an order, and you give me facts. Really? 44 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:50,904 The only fact I'm interested in 45 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,410 is that that hair ball of a town is ruining my magnificent view. 46 00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:59,145 We've got to wipe them off the map to make this palace absolutely perfect. 47 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:02,148 But what about the samurai that's there to protect them? 48 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,885 Just get rid of their samurai! The fraidy-cats will follow. 49 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:09,220 But make sure it can't be traced back to me. 50 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:34,581 Bandits! 51 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,754 You warn the others. I'll get the samurai. 52 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,570 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 53 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,798 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 54 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,102 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 55 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,113 Mr. Samurai! Mr. Samurai! 56 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,985 Bad cats are coming! We need your help! 57 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:15,789 I've got this. I know exactly what to do. 58 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,220 Samurai, we're coming for you! 59 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,591 Bring it on, bandits! 60 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:30,463 Oh, no! 61 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,682 I know these events look dire, 62 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:52,218 but we must stand on our own four legs and fight. 63 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,354 This is our home. 64 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:57,857 It is the sacred place where our kittens were born 65 00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:01,294 and where we will one day join our ancestors 66 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,663 in a shoebox buried behind the garage. 67 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,135 Dr. Katz, you have something to say? 68 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,237 No, I just got a hair ball. 69 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,741 What we need is a samurai. 70 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:18,545 We still can't find the last one. We even put up posters. 71 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:24,317 What we need is a new samurai. 72 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,419 Not it! 73 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:27,954 No! Think. 74 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,156 Where did we get our old samurai? 75 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,624 Samurais "r" us? 76 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,294 No, from the shogun! 77 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,130 So why don't we ask the shogun to send us a new one? 78 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,533 Okay, I've got it. 79 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,603 Why don't we ask the shogun to send us a new one? 80 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,952 Work, work, work. Let's see, what's on the agenda today? 81 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,754 Catfights on the western front. 82 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,490 Cat-scratch fever breaking out in the east. 83 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:08,361 What's this? Our sacred soil has been soiled by a dog who crossed the border? 84 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,996 Probably a border collie. 85 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,766 Fortunately, he's been apprehended. 86 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,934 Oh, well. You break the law, you pay the price. 87 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,270 It's not personal, it's just business. 88 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,605 And you know what they say, 89 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,341 "there's no business like shogun business!" 90 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,110 I've got an urgent message! 91 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,813 I've got an urgent message! 92 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,581 From the cats of kakamucho! 93 00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,383 Well, spit it out. 94 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,654 An urgent tweet from kakamucho? 95 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,993 "Bandits ravaging village, stop. We need a new samurai, stop. 96 00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:42,662 This reign of terror has to stop, stop." 97 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,765 Okay, tell them I'll send someone right away. 98 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,638 Marmalade! I need to make a call. 99 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,106 Get me what's-his-name. 100 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,241 I have ika chu on line two. 101 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,943 Good, very good, yes. 102 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,379 Pikachu, how's it going? 103 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,281 - Pikachu, how's it going? - Peek-a-boo, how's it going? 104 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,415 Peek-a-who... peek-a-you... 105 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,625 Koo koo roo... Scooby-doo... toodle-oo... 106 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,664 Pikachu, how's it going? 107 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,533 It's ika chu, my divine fabulousness. 108 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,404 I'm so excited and grateful that you will honor me with your presence 109 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,539 for the unveiling of my latest creation. 110 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,742 I promise to amaze you. 111 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:32,512 Listen, I gave you a call because I just got this urgent appeal 112 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,247 from the town of kakamucho. 113 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,283 Seems they've been set upon by bandits! 114 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,987 Can't have ordinary law-abiding cats terrorized, can we? 115 00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:43,823 Of course we can't, your worshipfulness. 116 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,920 I promised them we'd send a new samurai 117 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,595 and I'm putting you in charge of it, Nike shoe. 118 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:52,465 - Oh, sir, I'm so excited and grateful. - Good, good. 119 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,435 And don't forget, I'll be there next week to see my new palace. 120 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,104 Looking foward to you knocking my socks off. 121 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,407 Hey, I'm gonna have to put you on hold. 122 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,708 Here, hold this. 123 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:08,140 No, no, no! This could ruin everything. 124 00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:12,619 "Send a new samurai to kakamucho." I just got rid of the last one! 125 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,854 I have to do what the shogun says 126 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:19,225 but in a way that will benefit me. 127 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,661 Yes, that's it! I need a new plan. 128 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,431 But what can that plan be? 129 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,633 Why am I asking you? 130 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,440 All right, get up. 131 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,507 It's time. 132 00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:36,776 Here, this is for you. 133 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,780 What's that for? 134 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,480 Oh, that. That's for your execution. 135 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,615 What? But I haven't done anything. 136 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:43,683 I don't understand. 137 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,253 You came to this country illegally. It's strictly no dogs allowed. 138 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,422 Didn't you know? Cats hate dogs. 139 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,491 But dogs are lovable. How could you hate a dog? 140 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,760 My dad hated dogs and that's good enough for me. 141 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,628 It's not really based on logic. 142 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,965 - It just feels right to hate, you know? - Yeah, makes sense to me. 143 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,801 Now severing number one. 144 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,536 Number one? 145 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,600 Number one. 146 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,641 - I don't want to. - What? 147 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,910 I don't want to do that. I don't want to go up there. 148 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,513 - Okay, then. You don't have to. - Really? Thank you. 149 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,983 Of course. I mean, what are we, barbarians? 150 00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:18,451 Archers! 151 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,721 Hey! I'm trying to think up here! 152 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,824 I know you got a lot of prisoners to kill, but please, can you keep it down? 153 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,926 - Sorry! - Yeah? Thank you. 154 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,000 There he goes. 155 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,271 - Get him! - Come on, move! 156 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,881 Hey, can't we just talk this out? 157 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,749 - I don't speak dog. - But wait. 158 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,352 - We're communicating right now. - No, we're not. 159 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,421 - You just understood me. - No, I didn't. 160 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,158 You should've never come here, dog! You don't belong. 161 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,194 There he is! 162 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,144 Doggone it! 163 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,680 Plan, plan... 164 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,350 What I need... yes! 165 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:28,540 I'll send the worst samurai in the entire world, 166 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,522 and they do a terrible job. 167 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,459 But where do you look for something truly bad? 168 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,863 Wait, please! I only came to your country to learn to be a samurai. 169 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,233 As if a dog could ever become a samurai. 170 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,802 Never! A dog. 171 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,804 A dog! 172 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,239 Hold your fire! 173 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,460 - Nice save. - Always happy to lend a hand. 174 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,583 Hi there. Who's a good dog? 175 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,252 Yeah, who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? 176 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,920 Does this mean you're not gonna kill me? 177 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:05,825 On the contrary! Let's talk about what you can do for me. 178 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,796 I am offering to make you the new samurai of kakamucho. 179 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,132 - Kakamucho? What's that? - In the way. 180 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:16,836 But that's not as important as you are at this lucky, lucky moment. 181 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,406 Are you sure I'm ready to defend an entire town? 182 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,808 Maybe I should start out as a mall samurai. 183 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:22,909 What? 184 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,512 No, no. 185 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,448 Time to get my new samurai to kakamucho, 186 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,750 so you can hurry up and die-i-ive... 187 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,452 Dive right in. 188 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,323 Whoa, uh... 189 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,961 So, do I get a badge or a certificate or a... 190 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,164 You know, something official-like? 191 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:55,108 There you go. Makes it all official. 192 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,143 Wow. A samurai cup. 193 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,713 Yes, they've all got one. Just show that around. 194 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:03,183 "Wow, he's got a cup. He's a samurai. We'd better do what he says." 195 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,986 Well, better get going. That town isn't gonna samurai itself. 196 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,823 But I don't know where I'm going! 197 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:13,159 Don't worry, the horse knows. He's got GPS. 198 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,995 Giddy-up, uh, positioning system. 199 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,299 Why are you sending the dog to defend kakamucho? 200 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,734 They will kill him. 201 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,470 And the orphanage said you would never speak. 202 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,338 Yes, they will kill him. 203 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:29,209 And killing an official samurai... Why, that's against the law! 204 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,770 I would have to arrest all of them. 205 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:36,182 And that would leave no one in the town where I want no one. 206 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,880 You did know where we were going. 207 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,693 It's the latest thing. It's called a "gun." 208 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,994 Is it dangerous? 209 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:52,532 Don't be silly, guns don't kill cats. Cars and curiosity kill cats. 210 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:53,600 What's a car? 211 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,535 Careful. You're being curious. 212 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,270 He's coming, he's coming! 213 00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:15,210 There he is! The new samurai! 214 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,431 The new samurai's a dog. 215 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,965 He's a what? 216 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:29,350 The new samurai is a dog! 217 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,705 The new samurai is a dong? 218 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,109 "Welcome to kakamucho." 219 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,879 Okay. Here goes nothing. 220 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,590 Welcoming committee? 221 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,891 Maybe this won't be so bad. 222 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,994 Okay, first day on the job. Make eye contact, smile... 223 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,652 - It's a dog! - He's gonna ruin everything! 224 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,988 Let's kill him before the new samurai arrives. 225 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,289 Sic him! 226 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,128 Kill him! Tear him up! 227 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,400 Sit! 228 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,143 Now that's what I call wokking the dog. 229 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,147 Yeah, because she hit that dog with a wok! 230 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,684 Is he dead? 231 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,186 Hey, see if he has any snacks in his pockets. 232 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,191 Oh, it's a trick! He's playing dead. 233 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,492 - Bad doggy! - Dang it. 234 00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,695 - Sic him! - Wait, can we just talk for one minute? 235 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,796 Shut up, dog! 236 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,732 I am the new samurai, I am! Look, here's my cup. 237 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,368 Let him have it! 238 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,371 Stop! He is the new samurai. 239 00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:16,209 It says he's been appointed by the shogun himself. 240 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,913 Well, that is... wow. I did not see that coming. 241 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:23,249 Give me that! You must be confused, little girl. 242 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,887 Well, this is certainly disappointing. 243 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,550 What is? 244 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,156 I can't read. 245 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,393 She is right. It's official. 246 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,395 So we cannot kill him? 247 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,496 Yeah, no. 248 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,566 Yeah, I know, I know. We're all disappointed. 249 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,101 But we can still hate him, right? 250 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,535 Absolutely! 251 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,730 You are, number one, not a cat. 252 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,543 Number two, you are a dog, so that goes back to you not being a cat. 253 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,847 And three, you are definitely not a samurai 254 00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,616 because you are a dog, and that goes back to you not being a cat. 255 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,850 Go back where you came from, car chaser! 256 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,421 Again, what's a car? 257 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,857 Stop being curious. You'll kill us all. 258 00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,265 Are you really a dog? 259 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,634 - Yes, I am a dog. - Told you. 260 00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,710 I didn't know dogs could be samurai. 261 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,939 Well, they can, and I... 262 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,208 - Wait, why not? - Your sword's on backwards. 263 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,144 No, it's not, actually. Is it? 264 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,915 - Do you know how this is supposed to go? - I know a few things about samurai-ing. 265 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:32,252 Fair enough. How about I deputize you as my official assistant? 266 00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:34,220 Bad dog! 267 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,288 Don't talk to him. 268 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,158 Did you touch him? Time to use our hand sanitizers. 269 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,928 No, no, no! 270 00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,663 Doggamn it! 271 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,298 What kind of a world do we live in 272 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,667 where good and upright citizens can't be counted on 273 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,836 to kill someone just because they look different? 274 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,339 We could try beating them up again. 275 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,575 Only problem is they still have a samurai. 276 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,178 You're kidding me, right? He's a labradork. 277 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,147 Put his tail between his legs and let's finish this! 278 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,240 Okay. Here goes nothing. 279 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,541 Wow. 280 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,782 Excellent. 281 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,886 That's right. I'm a samurai now! 282 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:43,189 Take that! Take that! Oh, yeah! 283 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,804 How 'bout a little nip? 284 00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,839 A little catnip. 285 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,209 - I don't think I'm... - More for me. 286 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,345 Who are you? 287 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,714 My friends call me jimbo. 288 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,750 And since I have no friends, 289 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,920 I guess you can call me jimbo too. 290 00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:16,690 I guess it works either way. 291 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,592 Well, jimbo, I'm Hank, 292 00:19:19,693 --> 00:19:20,894 and I'm the new samurai. 293 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,530 New samurai, huh? 294 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,832 You know, your sword's on backwards. 295 00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,768 Oh, and I suppose you know everything because you're a samurai. 296 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,236 I know you're not. 297 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,273 - Why, because I'm a dog? - No, because you're an idiot. 298 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,943 No real samurai would be caught dead wearing that. 299 00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:39,913 Is that a bathrobe? You get that from a hotel? 300 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:42,449 You're not a samurai, are you? 301 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,618 I know. Right. I'm not. 302 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,550 I came here to learn to be a samurai, and then I got this job, 303 00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:51,624 but I don't have the slightest idea what I'm doing. 304 00:19:51,725 --> 00:19:52,926 Is there a book? 305 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,562 You know, an instruction manual, like how to be a samurai? 306 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,896 You mean samurai for dummies? 307 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,198 -Yes! 308 00:19:58,264 --> 00:19:59,899 That would be dumb. 309 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,208 Ow! Okay, that hurts. 310 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,210 Okay, ow! Oh, that's... agh! 311 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,991 You'd better get out there. 312 00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:26,993 It's samurai time. 313 00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:28,895 You're the samurai, right? 314 00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:33,333 - It looks a little dangerous out there. - Oh, yeah, dangerous. 315 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,103 That's n.W.A. Out there. Ninjas with attitude. 316 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:41,307 But you go ahead, it'll be great! You are the samurai. 317 00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:46,446 - Look at that. It's that mean old lady. - Yes, it is. 318 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:49,150 - Now I have to... - Yes, you do. 319 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,651 Maybe I could just go talk to them. You know, work this out. 320 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,190 - You should do that. - I will. 321 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,587 You go reason with them. 322 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,861 Uh, excuse me? 323 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,532 Excuse me, please. 324 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,867 Excuse me! 325 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,673 Get lost, dog. This is cat business! 326 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,344 Don't listen to him. You guys are doing a great job. 327 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,216 Sword's still on the wrong side. 328 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,559 My eyes are up here. 329 00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:37,964 Right in the eye. 330 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:44,370 Interesting choice, using your face to block those punches. 331 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,538 I wouldn't have considered that. 332 00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,209 - Yeah, well, what do you know? - Enough not to get my butt kicked. 333 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,211 I got to get some samurai training. 334 00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,179 I don't think training can help you. 335 00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:55,215 Couldn't hurt. What am I supposed to do? 336 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,251 If I were you, I would consider going home. 337 00:21:58,351 --> 00:21:59,719 Maybe being a lapdog. 338 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,588 - I can't leave. - Sure you can. 339 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:05,258 I've got nowhere else to go! It took everything I had to come here. 340 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:09,620 Then it's, "hey, get shot full of arrows or take this job," so here I am. 341 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:12,532 I've got to make this samurai thing work. I have to. But first I need to learn. 342 00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,234 Sounds like you need a mentor. 343 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,200 Dog breath? 344 00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:19,739 Not mentos. Mentor! A teacher. 345 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:23,543 To take you under his wing, teach you all he knows. That kind of thing. 346 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,378 That's exactly what I need. 347 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:29,382 Perhaps a once-great samurai who has fallen on hard times 348 00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:31,618 and maybe could use some help himself. 349 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,860 But where could I find one? 350 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,224 Hey! It's you! 351 00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:41,394 What? Get out of here! Who even made that? 352 00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:42,762 Don't believe everything you read. 353 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:46,733 This is traditionally the place in a movie where the hero meets his big opportunity. 354 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,968 You're my guy. Come on, train me. 355 00:22:49,690 --> 00:22:51,271 - But you're a dog. - Is that what's bothering you? 356 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:54,307 There's a lot about you that's bothering me. 357 00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,420 Like, for instance, how you got here. 358 00:22:56,109 --> 00:22:58,144 It wasn't easy, that's for sure. 359 00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,781 I had to cross impassable seas, unclimbable mountains 360 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,951 and really nasty midtown trafl'ic. 361 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,254 But why do you want to be a samurai? 362 00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:11,825 I was always the runt. Everybody always picked on me. 363 00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:16,429 Ilived in a bad neighborhood in a bad part of town full of bad dogs. 364 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,491 But this day, someth/ng awesome happened. 365 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,327 He moved almost faster than your eye could see. 366 00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,522 And then he was gone. 367 00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:19,359 A samurai in a strange land took the time to help... 368 00:24:22,362 --> 00:24:25,532 That's why I came here. To learn to be just like him. 369 00:24:26,232 --> 00:24:27,534 I even kept his sword. 370 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:31,371 I've been wondering where that went. Thank you! 371 00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:36,676 Wait a minute. 372 00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:38,912 That's your sword? 373 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,880 Then that means you're... 374 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,716 I don't want to talk about it. 375 00:24:44,351 --> 00:24:47,200 But will you train me? 376 00:24:47,870 --> 00:24:48,755 - Nope. - Why? 377 00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:52,258 - Because you're so busy? - No, because you're so brainless. 378 00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:55,950 I showed you my movie, the whole flashback thing. 379 00:24:55,195 --> 00:24:56,196 I don't believe it! 380 00:24:56,262 --> 00:24:57,530 I'm out of here. 381 00:24:59,766 --> 00:25:01,735 And I never want to see you again. 382 00:25:12,545 --> 00:25:13,546 You. 383 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,448 How much did you hear? 384 00:25:16,490 --> 00:25:18,118 Samurai Hank needs your help. 385 00:25:18,218 --> 00:25:20,787 Are you not bound by your samurai oath to help him? 386 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:23,456 You mean the one that says I can't turn my back on those in need? 387 00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,258 Yeah, that one. 388 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:29,129 Well, maybe. 389 00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:31,297 That's not what... 390 00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:36,136 Stupid oath! 391 00:25:36,236 --> 00:25:38,972 The cuteness is strong with this one. 392 00:25:42,242 --> 00:25:44,210 - What's this? - It is a contract 393 00:25:44,277 --> 00:25:47,814 between a student, you, and a teacher, me. 394 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:49,949 Uh, why do we need a contract? 395 00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:53,420 Because at this moment it would be so nice if I weren't here. 396 00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:56,156 And if you break this contract, I won't be. 397 00:25:56,256 --> 00:25:58,291 Besides, it's very straightfon/vard. 398 00:25:58,391 --> 00:26:01,227 You swear to be brave, honorable, protect those in need, not seek glory, 399 00:26:01,294 --> 00:26:04,831 finish what you start and always obey your master. 400 00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:07,000 - The samurai oath! - Yes. 401 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:11,304 And if you break it, our contract is broken. And you go home. 402 00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:13,273 Should I have my attorney look at that first? 403 00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:16,242 We don't have that kind of time. Now, sign here. 404 00:26:34,361 --> 00:26:35,362 Defend yourself! 405 00:26:36,329 --> 00:26:38,331 What am I supposed to do with a stick? 406 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:39,466 Lesson one. 407 00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:43,937 It is not so important what you do as it is important that you do something. 408 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,972 A warrior has catlike reflexes. 409 00:26:46,390 --> 00:26:48,108 - I'm not a cat, I'm a dog! - Nobody's perfect. 410 00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:55,715 Wait. That music. 411 00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:58,180 Hey, this is the training montage, isn't it? 412 00:26:58,118 --> 00:27:00,286 Can't we just skip ahead to the part where I'm good? 413 00:27:00,353 --> 00:27:03,990 No. This is my favorite part. The part where you suffer. 414 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,703 Cross the river! Any way you can! 415 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:30,984 To a cat, nothing is unclimbable! 416 00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:33,586 Did I mention I wasn't a cat? 417 00:27:33,687 --> 00:27:37,891 Just make it to the other side of the wall. Then you will be ready. 418 00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,960 Want to give me a hand? 419 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,333 Very funny! 420 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,235 Don't forget to land on your... 421 00:27:50,904 --> 00:27:51,905 Feet. 422 00:28:07,387 --> 00:28:08,588 Nope. 423 00:28:11,558 --> 00:28:12,559 Nope. 424 00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:20,633 Uh-uh. Nope. 425 00:28:43,256 --> 00:28:45,592 I'm starting to think you don't know what you're doing. 426 00:28:45,658 --> 00:28:47,327 I know exactly what I'm doing. 427 00:28:47,427 --> 00:28:50,797 I'm talking about training. You said you could make me a samurai. 428 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:55,935 I can make you a pizza. But I cannot make you into anything. 429 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,104 That power's only within yourself. 430 00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,740 You said you would help me, not just whack me with stuff. 431 00:29:01,141 --> 00:29:03,743 I've been whacked my whole life. That's why I came here. 432 00:29:03,810 --> 00:29:05,278 To learn to be a samurai. 433 00:29:08,815 --> 00:29:12,252 You want glory. You know nothing of being a true samurai. 434 00:29:12,318 --> 00:29:13,753 I'm starting to think you don't either. 435 00:29:13,787 --> 00:29:16,956 And you know what? I don't even believe you are a real samurai. 436 00:29:38,645 --> 00:29:39,979 So what happened to you? 437 00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:41,648 How did you go from being a samurai 438 00:29:41,715 --> 00:29:44,651 to a washed-up loser who drinks too much catnip, 439 00:29:44,718 --> 00:29:46,686 has an obvious weight problem, 440 00:29:46,786 --> 00:29:49,189 no real friends to speak of, is prediabetic... 441 00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:50,490 That's enough! 442 00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:54,794 There was a time I was chief bodyguard 443 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:58,798 of a very important official named toshiro tyfune. 444 00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:02,502 He was a real cool cat. With greatness ahead of him. 445 00:30:02,569 --> 00:30:04,270 - Is this gonna be a flashback? - Don't interrupt me. 446 00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:07,107 If it's a flashback, you should project it. It really brings it to life. 447 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:09,576 I don't need the projector. It's an old-fashioned remembering. 448 00:30:09,642 --> 00:30:11,770 Now stop interrupting. 449 00:30:13,713 --> 00:30:15,882 We'd been summoned to a meeting late one night. 450 00:30:17,717 --> 00:30:20,860 It was all very mysterious. 451 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,256 Just didn't feel right. 452 00:30:50,116 --> 00:30:51,851 It's an ambush! Get down! 453 00:31:07,934 --> 00:31:09,369 "Happy birthday"? 454 00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:15,809 I not only rumed 455 00:31:16,376 --> 00:31:20,213 the biggest night of his life, I spayed and neutered his in-laws. 456 00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:23,116 I broke my samurai oath. 457 00:31:24,150 --> 00:31:25,318 I was shamed. 458 00:31:26,860 --> 00:31:27,420 That's why I left. 459 00:31:31,424 --> 00:31:32,659 I'll make you a deal. 460 00:31:33,293 --> 00:31:34,627 We'll help each other. 461 00:31:38,732 --> 00:31:40,660 Not helpful. 462 00:32:07,827 --> 00:32:11,970 Today we begin something new. 463 00:32:11,598 --> 00:32:15,135 I learned I cannot teach a dog to be a cat. 464 00:32:15,635 --> 00:32:19,706 What I must do is teach a dog to be a better dog. 465 00:32:20,807 --> 00:32:21,808 What's that? 466 00:32:21,875 --> 00:32:24,100 The blindfold is to help you focus. 467 00:32:25,178 --> 00:32:27,380 Now listen. Tell me what you hear. 468 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,649 I hear you talking and moving. 469 00:32:29,716 --> 00:32:31,484 - Good. - I hear a bird. 470 00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:34,554 - That's it. - I smell flowers actually. 471 00:32:34,654 --> 00:32:37,457 Dogs have a keen sense of smell and excellent hearing. 472 00:32:37,524 --> 00:32:38,658 I hear a dragonfly. 473 00:32:41,294 --> 00:32:42,962 I smell wood burning. 474 00:32:43,290 --> 00:32:44,297 I smell tea brewing. 475 00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:51,371 Hey, are you making nachos? 'Cause someone just cut the cheese. 476 00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:53,640 Lesson over. 477 00:32:54,474 --> 00:32:55,475 Well done. 478 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:01,915 In battle as in life, 479 00:33:02,882 --> 00:33:05,418 a samurai strives to maintain his balance. 480 00:33:08,210 --> 00:33:11,991 And always defeats strength with smart. 481 00:33:23,236 --> 00:33:24,704 I can dig it! 482 00:33:25,872 --> 00:33:29,676 You must control your fear, or fear will control you. 483 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:40,587 It is a dance in which a samurai controls his space and his body. 484 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:56,302 What are you learning? 485 00:33:56,403 --> 00:33:58,872 I don't like sticks as much as I used to? 486 00:33:58,938 --> 00:34:00,707 What are you learning in here? 487 00:34:00,774 --> 00:34:04,444 It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in... 488 00:34:04,544 --> 00:34:08,648 No! It is the size of the dog in the fight. 489 00:34:08,748 --> 00:34:11,384 A big dog has fewer problems. Let me demonstrate. 490 00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:13,119 Hold this. 491 00:34:15,555 --> 00:34:16,556 See? 492 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:18,958 That wouldn't happen to a big dog. 493 00:34:23,630 --> 00:34:25,298 We're still behind schedule. 494 00:34:25,799 --> 00:34:28,301 The shogun will be here in three days! 495 00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:35,275 Oops. 496 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:44,250 I'm surrounded by imbeciles! Complete morons! 497 00:34:44,317 --> 00:34:48,488 It must be so hard for you. The Patience and kindness that you show. 498 00:34:48,588 --> 00:34:51,424 Ohga, don't take this the wrong way, okay? 499 00:34:51,491 --> 00:34:56,262 But you are a total failure and a major disappointment. No offense. 500 00:34:56,329 --> 00:34:59,199 None taken. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 501 00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:04,370 I didn't expect much of you, and you still disappointed me. 502 00:35:04,137 --> 00:35:05,205 Listen. 503 00:35:05,305 --> 00:35:09,476 The cats of kakamucho are no closer to leaving than when we started. 504 00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:14,114 If you can't get the job done, perhaps it's time for a real professional. 505 00:35:14,714 --> 00:35:16,483 Send in the beast. 506 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:24,457 Now get out. 507 00:37:02,922 --> 00:37:06,292 Do you mind? You're harshing my mellow. 508 00:37:06,393 --> 00:37:07,961 Oh. Sorry. 509 00:37:08,610 --> 00:37:10,663 - Teach me something. - How about Patience? 510 00:37:10,764 --> 00:37:12,565 Come on, teach me anything. 511 00:37:12,632 --> 00:37:15,135 Seriously, let's do this. I'm ready for it. 512 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,571 - How about these? - You're not ready for those. 513 00:37:18,638 --> 00:37:19,773 How hard can it be? 514 00:37:24,511 --> 00:37:25,679 Samurai Hank! 515 00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:27,781 Sumo is in town! 516 00:37:27,847 --> 00:37:30,183 - What's a sumo? - He's a giant! 517 00:37:30,283 --> 00:37:32,652 Samurai Hank, you have to do something! 518 00:37:33,787 --> 00:37:35,188 - Right. - Oh, no! 519 00:37:35,288 --> 00:37:37,757 No, no, no, no, no. 520 00:37:37,824 --> 00:37:40,927 No way! You are not ready. Not even close. 521 00:37:40,994 --> 00:37:42,862 - Okay, then we'll go together. - No, no, no. 522 00:37:42,962 --> 00:37:46,800 Not my job. Not my fight. And you are not prepared. 523 00:37:46,866 --> 00:37:48,935 So is someone going to do something? 524 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,173 - Yeah, is someone gonna do something? - No, someone's not. 525 00:38:10,690 --> 00:38:12,459 You know she's gonna go over there. 526 00:38:12,525 --> 00:38:14,160 Not my student. 527 00:38:14,227 --> 00:38:15,829 Not my problem. 528 00:38:29,976 --> 00:38:30,977 Sword! 529 00:39:08,715 --> 00:39:11,384 What are you doing? I had him! 530 00:39:11,451 --> 00:39:13,586 I know you did, but this is kind of my job. 531 00:39:13,687 --> 00:39:15,789 I could totally take that guy! 532 00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:24,764 You should know that I am a highly trained... mostly trained... warrior 533 00:39:24,864 --> 00:39:27,767 skilled in the ways of karate and swordplay. 534 00:39:27,867 --> 00:39:29,536 As well as musical theater. 535 00:39:29,602 --> 00:39:31,805 In your own best interest, you should surrender. 536 00:39:31,905 --> 00:39:33,390 You're under arrest! 537 00:39:40,613 --> 00:39:41,614 Wait! 538 00:39:41,715 --> 00:39:43,116 You've got something on your... 539 00:39:52,559 --> 00:39:55,395 Sumo have edamame bean on face. 540 00:39:55,462 --> 00:39:57,597 Sumo very allergic. 541 00:39:57,664 --> 00:40:00,100 So, we're all good then? 542 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:02,902 Jimbo? 543 00:40:02,969 --> 00:40:05,805 Is your plan to let him hit you until he gets tired? 544 00:40:05,905 --> 00:40:07,807 - Maybe. - Bold plan. 545 00:40:10,276 --> 00:40:11,444 Here he comes! 546 00:40:25,191 --> 00:40:27,494 You wanted to be a samurai. Fun, isn't it? 547 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:28,595 Now go get him! 548 00:40:29,295 --> 00:40:30,697 You can do it, Hank! 549 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,989 He has told you his weakness. Remember, you defeat strength with smart. 550 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,624 Now get back out there. 551 00:41:02,862 --> 00:41:04,297 Head in the game, Hank! 552 00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:45,380 Yeah! That just happened! 553 00:41:45,105 --> 00:41:46,940 I'm a bad dog. 554 00:41:49,376 --> 00:41:51,845 Did you see what I just did there? It was beautiful. 555 00:41:52,412 --> 00:41:53,947 And I would say "congratulations," 556 00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:56,282 but since you're already doing that yourself, 557 00:41:56,383 --> 00:41:57,550 let's get him to a doctor. 558 00:41:57,617 --> 00:41:59,686 Oh, yeah, absolutely. Got to do that. 559 00:41:59,753 --> 00:42:02,220 I might've really hurt him. I mean, look at him. 560 00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:21,740 Did that hurt? 561 00:42:21,808 --> 00:42:22,976 Didn't feel a thing. 562 00:42:26,479 --> 00:42:27,981 What about that? 563 00:42:28,810 --> 00:42:29,215 Nope. 564 00:42:34,387 --> 00:42:36,723 Listen, sorry I had to do all this to you. 565 00:42:36,790 --> 00:42:38,958 Sometimes I'm surprised by my own strength. 566 00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,727 There's a new sheriff in town, all right? 567 00:42:40,794 --> 00:42:43,396 Better not let me catch you breaking the law again, you feel me? 568 00:42:46,433 --> 00:42:47,434 You're free to go. 569 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:50,700 No one ever beat sumo before. 570 00:42:50,737 --> 00:42:55,408 No one ever nice before. Now have feelings for Hank. 571 00:42:56,676 --> 00:43:00,347 Sumo want to live in kakamucho with Hank. 572 00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:03,917 Well, who doesn't? Safe town like this one with great law enforcement. 573 00:43:04,651 --> 00:43:06,190 Psst! It's for you. 574 00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:13,493 I wanted to say thank you for defeating sumo. 575 00:43:13,593 --> 00:43:14,594 And you are welcome. 576 00:43:14,661 --> 00:43:17,964 Only one thing. We can never talk on the street or anything like that. 577 00:43:18,310 --> 00:43:20,967 It just wouldn't look right, you being a... you know. 578 00:43:21,340 --> 00:43:22,335 Yeah, I got you. 579 00:43:22,435 --> 00:43:23,436 Here. 580 00:43:26,539 --> 00:43:28,675 Thank you. You're Chuck, right? 581 00:43:28,775 --> 00:43:30,977 - Mmm, no. - Chuck! 582 00:43:31,711 --> 00:43:33,780 - We have to go. - I have to go. 583 00:43:38,184 --> 00:43:39,686 Samurai Hank? 584 00:43:39,786 --> 00:43:41,955 We wanted to give you something. 585 00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:43,230 "We"? 586 00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:47,600 So your mom wanted to throw me a bone? 587 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,162 No, my mom said to hand it to you. 588 00:43:49,229 --> 00:43:50,296 Why would she do that? 589 00:43:50,363 --> 00:43:53,900 Well, if I threw it, it might get on the ground, all dirty and icky. 590 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,503 No, I meant why would she want to give me something? 591 00:43:56,569 --> 00:43:58,471 To thank you for saving our town. 592 00:43:58,538 --> 00:44:01,474 You are the best dog samurai I have ever seen. 593 00:44:01,541 --> 00:44:03,677 I am the only dog samurai you have ever seen. 594 00:44:03,743 --> 00:44:05,679 But I got to say, you're kind of right. 595 00:44:05,745 --> 00:44:08,515 I am mighty impressive as far as samurais go. 596 00:44:11,251 --> 00:44:12,719 Are you all finished? 597 00:44:12,819 --> 00:44:15,855 'Cause it's getting late, and a samurai needs his sleep. 598 00:44:28,935 --> 00:44:31,671 Really looks like things are turning around for me, eh? 599 00:44:31,738 --> 00:44:33,940 You got lucky, kid. Don't let it go to your head. 600 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,542 Luck? Please. 601 00:44:35,608 --> 00:44:37,711 I should be registered as a lethal weapon. 602 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,682 Pride goeth before a fall. 603 00:44:43,783 --> 00:44:45,618 What do you mean, your ninjas are afraid? 604 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:49,689 Since the dog defeated sumo, none of my cats want... 605 00:44:49,756 --> 00:44:53,393 The shogun will be here in two days! I don't care if your ninja are afraid. 606 00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:57,197 Take them down to that roadblock of a town and really just... 607 00:45:00,330 --> 00:45:02,902 - You know what I've done? - Your hair and a catty-pedi? 608 00:45:02,969 --> 00:45:04,270 Yes. But no. 609 00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:08,410 I've outsmarted my own self by employing that dog. 610 00:45:09,750 --> 00:45:10,443 Oh, nice. 611 00:45:11,411 --> 00:45:12,412 Me likey. 612 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,782 The problem with the good citizens of kakamucho 613 00:45:15,882 --> 00:45:18,318 is there are too many good citizens in kakamucho. 614 00:45:18,418 --> 00:45:21,621 It's time to take care of this mutt myself 615 00:45:21,721 --> 00:45:23,490 with the ultimate weapon. 616 00:45:31,798 --> 00:45:35,680 Sumo, like butterfly that was once caterpillar, 617 00:45:35,135 --> 00:45:37,103 fly like dandelion. 618 00:45:37,671 --> 00:45:39,773 It's a hat. And this one's a boat. 619 00:45:39,839 --> 00:45:41,107 That is really good. 620 00:45:46,813 --> 00:45:48,248 Oops. That was the hat. 621 00:45:48,915 --> 00:45:50,850 - What did you make? - A swan. 622 00:45:52,152 --> 00:45:53,420 And some other stuff. 623 00:45:55,755 --> 00:45:57,624 Oh, wow. That's amazing. 624 00:45:58,158 --> 00:46:00,660 You can make anything out of folded paper. 625 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,362 All right, make me a sandwich. 626 00:46:02,462 --> 00:46:06,132 It's not a sandwich, but here, I made you something. 627 00:46:06,833 --> 00:46:07,967 For good luck. 628 00:46:08,935 --> 00:46:09,936 Looks like me. 629 00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:12,472 It will always remind you of who you are. 630 00:46:12,972 --> 00:46:16,376 Who you are? Let's concentrate on who you are not. 631 00:46:16,476 --> 00:46:18,345 And that would be a samurai. 632 00:46:18,445 --> 00:46:21,381 Come on, jimbo, we're just enjoying a beautiful day. 633 00:46:21,481 --> 00:46:23,717 The sun is shining, birds are singing. 634 00:46:24,284 --> 00:46:27,120 And besides, I deserve a break for taking care of sumo. 635 00:46:27,187 --> 00:46:28,355 I mean, just look at him. 636 00:46:28,455 --> 00:46:30,457 Butterfly, oh... 637 00:46:30,523 --> 00:46:32,158 That's just the point. 638 00:46:32,225 --> 00:46:36,396 You have one little, itsy-bitsy, tiny weeny bite of success... 639 00:46:36,496 --> 00:46:38,198 - I'm sorry, tiny what? - "Tiny what" what? 640 00:46:38,298 --> 00:46:39,299 - What? - What? 641 00:46:41,634 --> 00:46:44,904 The point is, this is no time for celebrating. 642 00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,541 It's time to double your efforts and train even harder. Now get to it. 643 00:47:02,889 --> 00:47:04,240 Hank! 644 00:47:04,900 --> 00:47:06,226 My brawling, battling hero. 645 00:47:06,326 --> 00:47:08,695 Sorry, I hope I'm not bothering you. Am I? 646 00:47:08,762 --> 00:47:10,830 No, I was just getting a workout in. 647 00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:11,931 Sure. 648 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:16,360 Very impressive, you defeating sumo. Oh, wow! 649 00:47:16,102 --> 00:47:17,537 It was nothing. 650 00:47:17,604 --> 00:47:19,673 I'm sure it was... nothing. 651 00:47:19,739 --> 00:47:23,710 Anyway, I came here to invite you out on the town to celebrate. 652 00:47:23,777 --> 00:47:27,747 Tonight, I'm taking you to the most exclusive club in the country. 653 00:47:27,847 --> 00:47:30,116 Even the members aren't allowed in. 654 00:47:30,216 --> 00:47:32,452 Wow, thank you, but I can't go. 655 00:47:32,552 --> 00:47:35,522 I promised my teacher I'd stay focused on my training. 656 00:47:35,588 --> 00:47:39,250 Right. Sounds like your teacher is someone who's unhappy 657 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,628 and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. 658 00:47:41,728 --> 00:47:43,963 Do you like fun? You like fun, don't you? 659 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,966 - Of course I like fun! Fun is so fun! - Fun is fun, isn't it? 660 00:47:47,670 --> 00:47:48,768 The clue is in the word. 661 00:47:48,868 --> 00:47:51,738 Drive. Bye! See you later! We'll have fun. 662 00:47:54,874 --> 00:47:57,310 It's just one night. It's not a big deal. 663 00:47:57,410 --> 00:48:00,213 It is a big deal. It's the only deal. 664 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,383 You committed to me to go to the end, and I did the same for you. 665 00:48:03,450 --> 00:48:06,486 You are breaking your word. 666 00:48:06,586 --> 00:48:09,622 I am not breaking my word. We can start training again tomorrow. 667 00:48:09,723 --> 00:48:12,325 But tonight I'm gonna have some fun with my boss. 668 00:48:12,425 --> 00:48:13,993 I am your boss. 669 00:48:14,940 --> 00:48:17,430 - What? - I am your boss! 670 00:48:17,497 --> 00:48:21,000 - My boss? - I tell you what to do, and you do it. 671 00:48:21,101 --> 00:48:22,569 I thought you were my friend. 672 00:48:22,635 --> 00:48:25,772 I am your teacher. Your mentor. 673 00:48:25,839 --> 00:48:29,900 As I told you when we met, I am not yourfriend. 674 00:48:29,109 --> 00:48:32,645 A samurai has only duty, not friends. 675 00:48:32,746 --> 00:48:35,150 Not my friend. Well, that just sounds sad. 676 00:48:35,115 --> 00:48:38,952 Like someone who is unhappy and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. 677 00:48:39,190 --> 00:48:41,788 Well, I don't want to be unhappy. I'm gonna go have some fun. 678 00:48:42,789 --> 00:48:46,260 I hope you succeed in having fun 679 00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:48,461 because you have failed in everything else. 680 00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:51,865 You know a lot about failure, don't you? 681 00:48:51,965 --> 00:48:55,502 I defeated the unbeatable sumo in battle and saved the town. 682 00:48:55,602 --> 00:48:58,138 You can't even get a birthday party right. 683 00:48:58,638 --> 00:48:59,673 Don't wait up. 684 00:49:32,839 --> 00:49:35,709 Bow and wow. This place is awesome! 685 00:49:36,309 --> 00:49:37,477 Where are you going? 686 00:49:37,544 --> 00:49:39,846 - End of the line? - Are you kidding? 687 00:49:39,913 --> 00:49:43,316 Hank, don't you get it? There are no lines for you. 688 00:49:43,383 --> 00:49:47,870 You are samurai Hank, the hero of kakamucho! 689 00:49:47,187 --> 00:49:51,157 Oh, my gosh! That's samurai Hank, the hero of kakamucho! 690 00:49:52,726 --> 00:49:54,494 "Vip." what's that mean? 691 00:49:54,561 --> 00:49:57,197 V.i.p. Very important pooch. 692 00:49:57,697 --> 00:50:00,660 - After you. - I don't have any ID. 693 00:50:00,166 --> 00:50:04,437 You have something better than ID. You have celebrity. 694 00:50:04,537 --> 00:50:05,538 Wait! 695 00:50:05,605 --> 00:50:08,608 - Can I have your autograph, Hank? - Um, sure. 696 00:50:10,944 --> 00:50:14,714 Now this is what being a top dog is all about. 697 00:50:25,625 --> 00:50:29,763 Private table, Hank? Dog treat, Hank? Scratch behind your ears, Hank? 698 00:50:29,863 --> 00:50:32,320 Oh, my gosh! Can we take a picture with you? 699 00:50:32,980 --> 00:50:34,670 - You look hot. - Who licks your hair? 700 00:50:36,269 --> 00:50:37,537 Thank you, Hank! 701 00:50:38,380 --> 00:50:40,373 You're my favorite samurai! 702 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:44,611 Is it everything I promised? 703 00:50:44,711 --> 00:50:47,914 Don't get me wrong, this is all so fantastic. It's just... 704 00:50:47,981 --> 00:50:50,450 You don't think that I'm being a glory seeker, do you? 705 00:50:50,550 --> 00:50:53,953 Hank, never miss an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. 706 00:51:00,293 --> 00:51:04,330 And there's no other place I would rather you be tonight. 707 00:51:06,299 --> 00:51:08,935 You ready? Let's do this! 708 00:52:04,224 --> 00:52:08,661 The ninjas are here! Samurai Hank! The ninjas are... 709 00:52:08,728 --> 00:52:10,630 Right here! 710 00:52:23,176 --> 00:52:25,145 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 711 00:52:25,211 --> 00:52:26,713 Good job. Well done. 712 00:52:26,813 --> 00:52:29,416 Autograph, lovely touch there. Little bonus for you. 713 00:52:29,516 --> 00:52:32,185 Thank you. Thank you. Good job. Well done. 714 00:53:07,954 --> 00:53:09,890 Jimbo. 715 00:53:09,723 --> 00:53:11,391 Yo, jimbo! Jimbo. 716 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:14,361 You're okay? What happened here? 717 00:53:14,427 --> 00:53:16,863 The ninjas showed up again last night. 718 00:53:16,930 --> 00:53:20,300 And where were you? Having fun with your boss. 719 00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:24,700 - What about you? - I failed my oath for the last time. 720 00:53:24,938 --> 00:53:26,239 Where's my sword? 721 00:53:26,873 --> 00:53:27,874 Right. 722 00:53:27,941 --> 00:53:29,976 They've taken sumo to the fortress dungeon. 723 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:31,978 Now I'm going to get him back. 724 00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:34,447 I'll go with you. We're both samurai and... 725 00:53:34,547 --> 00:53:38,451 You are not samurai! You were a selfish idiot. 726 00:53:38,952 --> 00:53:41,588 Today, you are nothing. 727 00:53:41,654 --> 00:53:43,923 You just don't want to admit that I beat sumo. 728 00:53:44,491 --> 00:53:46,993 - You never... - You really believe that? 729 00:53:47,930 --> 00:53:50,163 Edamame was responsible for your greatest victory. 730 00:53:50,263 --> 00:53:51,564 Edamame? What does that have to do... 731 00:53:51,598 --> 00:53:54,901 I failed to teach, and you failed to learn. 732 00:53:54,968 --> 00:53:56,469 I've learned a lot from you. 733 00:53:56,569 --> 00:53:59,839 Like when things get tough, you can hide in the bottom of a bottle. 734 00:54:01,808 --> 00:54:04,444 I'm sorry, jimbo. I didn't mean that. 735 00:54:05,110 --> 00:54:06,913 You're on the horse backwards. 736 00:54:09,482 --> 00:54:10,817 Goodbye, dog. 737 00:54:13,987 --> 00:54:15,288 See ya, cat! 738 00:54:16,923 --> 00:54:19,459 Where were you, "great samurai"? 739 00:54:19,526 --> 00:54:21,461 Thanks for nothing! 740 00:54:21,528 --> 00:54:24,698 'Cause guess what? You did nothing! 741 00:54:24,798 --> 00:54:27,801 And I'm thanking you sarcastically! 742 00:54:28,635 --> 00:54:29,836 Good, I'm out of here. 743 00:54:30,870 --> 00:54:32,639 Gonna get on the first boat and get home and... 744 00:54:32,672 --> 00:54:33,807 That's right. Go. 745 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:36,376 - Emiko. - Go back home. 746 00:54:37,177 --> 00:54:38,678 Maybe my mom was right. 747 00:54:38,778 --> 00:54:40,980 Maybe dogs can't be samurai! 748 00:56:52,245 --> 00:56:54,848 It will always remind you of who you are. 749 00:57:21,975 --> 00:57:23,143 What are you doing here? 750 00:57:23,209 --> 00:57:26,713 I couldn't help myself. I'm a dog. That makes me loyal. 751 00:57:26,813 --> 00:57:28,314 So I'm here to make things right. 752 00:57:28,381 --> 00:57:30,817 You really think you can just come back here, 753 00:57:30,884 --> 00:57:32,218 and that makes everything okay? 754 00:57:32,318 --> 00:57:35,655 As a matter of fact, I do. I'm back! You should be happy. 755 00:57:35,722 --> 00:57:36,723 Well, I'm not. 756 00:57:36,823 --> 00:57:39,526 You might as well turn around and go back where you came from. 757 00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:40,860 I'm not going anywhere. 758 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,663 Sumo is in there, and I'm not leaving until we get him out. 759 00:57:43,730 --> 00:57:45,565 We can resolve our differences later. 760 00:57:47,701 --> 00:57:48,968 What now? 761 00:57:49,350 --> 00:57:52,872 You defeat strength with smart. Somebody taught me that. 762 00:57:54,174 --> 00:57:55,642 Do you have any ideas? 763 00:57:58,712 --> 00:58:00,146 This is smart? 764 00:58:09,856 --> 00:58:11,224 Watch your back! 765 00:58:11,324 --> 00:58:14,694 - You do care. - Only about saving sumo. 766 00:58:15,328 --> 00:58:17,330 You I could do without. 767 00:58:21,401 --> 00:58:22,736 Now what? 768 00:58:22,836 --> 00:58:24,838 We have to figure out a way in. 769 00:58:31,378 --> 00:58:33,380 - Pretty good idea, huh? - Stop wagging your tail. 770 00:58:33,446 --> 00:58:36,182 I didn't say it was a good idea, I just said it doesn't suck. 771 00:58:43,890 --> 00:58:44,257 All right, genius, which way? 772 00:58:45,525 --> 00:58:46,526 To the left. 773 00:58:50,263 --> 00:58:51,264 What do you got? 774 00:58:51,364 --> 00:58:54,734 Got a d-o-g who's d-o-a. Want to get him out of sight, p-d-o. 775 00:58:54,801 --> 00:58:57,370 A-s-a-p, huh? Okay. 776 00:59:03,476 --> 00:59:06,112 I'm not even a full-time security guard! I'm just a temp! 777 00:59:09,482 --> 00:59:10,650 Let's roll, fido. 778 00:59:12,252 --> 00:59:15,550 Okay. Now, this could be difficult and might take a while, 779 00:59:15,121 --> 00:59:16,322 so let's split up. 780 00:59:16,823 --> 00:59:19,959 I'll take the areas to the north and west. You go south and east. 781 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:21,828 Let's try to be methodical about this. 782 00:59:21,928 --> 00:59:26,132 There could be thousands of cells here, and this could take hours, maybe days. 783 00:59:26,232 --> 00:59:27,934 He's right over here. 784 00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:30,103 Hey, sumo, we're here to save you. 785 00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:34,474 Guess we should've stolen some keys. 786 00:59:34,574 --> 00:59:35,575 Stand back. 787 00:59:40,847 --> 00:59:42,115 Well, at least you tried. 788 00:59:46,286 --> 00:59:47,320 Doggy door. 789 00:59:50,123 --> 00:59:52,692 Uh, complication in the "saving him" department. 790 00:59:52,792 --> 00:59:54,828 Hank no need to save sumo. 791 00:59:55,628 --> 00:59:58,164 Sumo just prawn in ocean of life. 792 00:59:58,264 --> 01:00:00,700 Of course we have to save you. You're our friend. 793 01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:01,935 Fiends? 794 01:00:02,669 --> 01:00:05,305 Sumo overcome with emotion. 795 01:00:07,374 --> 01:00:11,344 While I appreciate the bro-fest, we should probably get out of here. 796 01:00:11,978 --> 01:00:14,114 Wait a second. I've got to Mark my territory. 797 01:00:14,180 --> 01:00:15,515 We don't have time for that. 798 01:00:15,615 --> 01:00:18,318 But it's a dog thing. I want them to know I was here. 799 01:00:18,385 --> 01:00:19,719 I even had asparagus last night. 800 01:00:19,819 --> 01:00:20,987 We don't have time! 801 01:00:21,688 --> 01:00:24,891 - We have to get back to kakamucho. - When we get there, what's the plan? 802 01:00:24,991 --> 01:00:27,293 At this moment, it is not so important what we do 803 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,796 as it is important that we do something. 804 01:00:29,863 --> 01:00:31,631 Not sure yet what that something is. 805 01:00:56,256 --> 01:01:00,226 Remember! Fear is only in your mind. 806 01:01:00,326 --> 01:01:02,280 And a little bit in my kimono. 807 01:01:24,284 --> 01:01:25,618 Jimbo! 808 01:01:29,550 --> 01:01:31,240 - Jimbo, no! - Both of you get out of here. 809 01:01:31,910 --> 01:01:33,126 - What about you? - Don't worry about me! 810 01:01:33,226 --> 01:01:34,961 You have to get back to kakamucho. 811 01:01:35,610 --> 01:01:36,529 But we're a team. 812 01:01:36,596 --> 01:01:41,801 No, I have to do this. And there is no team in I. 813 01:01:42,869 --> 01:01:44,270 But there is an I 814 01:01:44,871 --> 01:01:46,139 in samurai. 815 01:01:54,314 --> 01:01:57,500 You can't die! Our issues aren't resolved yet! 816 01:02:33,353 --> 01:02:34,821 Heimlich maneuver. 817 01:02:37,657 --> 01:02:39,926 You saved my life! But you touched me. 818 01:02:41,261 --> 01:02:44,300 If that ever happens again, let me die, okay? 819 01:02:44,130 --> 01:02:45,465 Now, what is it? 820 01:02:45,532 --> 01:02:47,367 The prisoner escaped. 821 01:02:48,201 --> 01:02:50,437 You let the big cat out of the bag, didn't you? 822 01:02:50,503 --> 01:02:52,500 Of course you did. 823 01:02:52,105 --> 01:02:56,276 Right. Okay. Now, someone is going to pay for this. 824 01:02:56,343 --> 01:03:00,513 I'm not saying who, but probably someone very, very stupid. 825 01:03:00,613 --> 01:03:03,149 Do you know what a scapegoat is, ohga? 826 01:03:03,216 --> 01:03:07,153 No, but if there's a goat around here, I will have him arrested immediately. 827 01:03:07,220 --> 01:03:09,489 Ah, brainless. Absolute... 828 01:03:09,556 --> 01:03:11,358 And that goes for all of you. 829 01:03:11,458 --> 01:03:16,196 Anyway, never mind. I already have another plan progressing nicely. 830 01:03:16,296 --> 01:03:19,966 A much bigger plan with even more deadly consequences. 831 01:03:21,468 --> 01:03:23,370 My lord, pardon the intrusion. 832 01:03:23,470 --> 01:03:25,238 - What is it? - It's the super bowl. 833 01:03:25,338 --> 01:03:26,673 It's overflowing! 834 01:03:26,740 --> 01:03:29,976 Jiggle the handle! Jiggle the handle! 835 01:03:43,356 --> 01:03:44,691 Where's everyone going? 836 01:03:45,658 --> 01:03:47,527 Emiko, what's going on? 837 01:03:48,928 --> 01:03:49,929 Emiko? 838 01:03:50,697 --> 01:03:52,599 - Emiko! - Look at this! Have you read this? 839 01:03:52,699 --> 01:03:55,201 - No. - Well, would you read it to me? 840 01:03:55,268 --> 01:03:58,605 "Help wanted: Vicious killers for the destruction of kakamucho. 841 01:03:58,705 --> 01:04:01,241 Prior criminal record a must. An equal-opportunity employer." 842 01:04:01,341 --> 01:04:03,877 Can't you see this is just the last act of a desperate cat? 843 01:04:03,943 --> 01:04:06,346 We don't care if it's the first act of mamma Mia! 844 01:04:06,413 --> 01:04:09,150 We're leaving before that army gets here. 845 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:30,236 Right. How are we doing? Let's see. 846 01:04:31,710 --> 01:04:34,708 Cutthroats, good. Bounty hunters, desperados, biker gangs, excellent. 847 01:04:34,774 --> 01:04:38,645 Mugs, thugs, nitwits, dimwits, mobsters, muggers, bushwhackers. 848 01:04:38,745 --> 01:04:41,470 Hornswogglers, serial killers... 849 01:04:41,114 --> 01:04:42,649 Studio executives? 850 01:04:42,749 --> 01:04:45,151 Wow, it looks like everyone's here. Great! 851 01:04:45,251 --> 01:04:46,486 What about him? 852 01:04:46,986 --> 01:04:48,880 Well, yes, 853 01:04:48,154 --> 01:04:50,890 he is scary, but in the wrong way. 854 01:04:50,957 --> 01:04:51,991 Arrest him. 855 01:04:58,431 --> 01:05:00,967 Wait, wait! Please, hear me out. 856 01:05:01,468 --> 01:05:03,169 You all need to know something. 857 01:05:03,670 --> 01:05:08,675 In an heroic effort to protect your town, today we lost jimbo. 858 01:05:08,775 --> 01:05:11,745 No, no, not jimbo! 859 01:05:11,811 --> 01:05:13,613 - Who's jimbo? - I don't know. 860 01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:16,249 - Didn't he date your sister? - No, that was gumbo. 861 01:05:16,316 --> 01:05:18,180 Why did you even come back? 862 01:05:18,685 --> 01:05:20,153 We're leaving, Hank. 863 01:05:20,253 --> 01:05:22,822 We're all gonna start new lives somewhere else. 864 01:05:23,857 --> 01:05:25,191 Sure. Go. 865 01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:29,629 After all, you're cats. You've got nine lives, right? 866 01:05:30,196 --> 01:05:33,330 But I'm a dog. I have one life. 867 01:05:33,133 --> 01:05:36,369 And the best thing that happened to me in this one life 868 01:05:36,970 --> 01:05:38,304 is this town. 869 01:05:38,371 --> 01:05:40,940 You had faith in me. You trusted me. 870 01:05:41,608 --> 01:05:44,644 And I want to earn that trust back so bad, 871 01:05:44,711 --> 01:05:48,181 I'm willing to lay my one life down for your, uh... 872 01:05:49,150 --> 01:05:53,820 Let's see, 247 times 9, um, and then carry the 5... 873 01:05:53,887 --> 01:05:55,955 2,223. 874 01:05:56,220 --> 01:05:58,191 - 2,000? - 223. 875 01:05:58,291 --> 01:06:00,160 Right. Now what do you say? 876 01:06:00,694 --> 01:06:02,620 Life is short, 877 01:06:02,162 --> 01:06:05,465 and this movie is only 85 minutes long, not including end credits. 878 01:06:05,532 --> 01:06:06,900 So we have to hurry. 879 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,201 If we're gonna save this town, 880 01:06:08,301 --> 01:06:11,471 we have to find a way beyond judging each other strictly on 881 01:06:12,138 --> 01:06:14,507 labels like "dog" and "cat." 882 01:06:15,410 --> 01:06:16,976 Together, we can get past all that. 883 01:06:17,644 --> 01:06:19,312 We can all be better 884 01:06:20,246 --> 01:06:21,581 together! 885 01:06:27,153 --> 01:06:30,657 It's a metaphor, saying we are all the same. 886 01:06:30,724 --> 01:06:35,395 Look different on the outside, but we can choose for ourselves 887 01:06:35,495 --> 01:06:38,164 what our insides look like. 888 01:06:38,765 --> 01:06:41,501 See now, the big guy makes a lot of sense. 889 01:06:41,568 --> 01:06:43,870 Right? So, sumo, what do we do now? 890 01:06:43,937 --> 01:06:45,205 So what do we do? 891 01:06:45,271 --> 01:06:46,873 Well, step one, 892 01:06:47,374 --> 01:06:49,542 we need to destroy their lines of communication. 893 01:06:51,244 --> 01:06:53,790 I've cut the telephone line! 894 01:06:53,179 --> 01:06:54,347 Step two, 895 01:06:54,414 --> 01:06:58,351 someone taught me that we can make anything out of folded paper. 896 01:07:03,356 --> 01:07:06,192 How's everyone doing? Feeling evil? Yeah? 897 01:07:06,259 --> 01:07:08,862 Don't be stingy with the poison on those arrows. 898 01:07:08,928 --> 01:07:10,397 Everyone get plenty to eat? 899 01:07:10,463 --> 01:07:13,767 You can't crush the innocent on an empty stomach, can you? 900 01:07:13,867 --> 01:07:17,637 Enjoy the entrée because dessert is death and destruction. 901 01:07:20,740 --> 01:07:24,377 Who knew an evil army could go through so many beans? 902 01:07:24,444 --> 01:07:26,780 Right. Assemble the troops! 903 01:07:58,578 --> 01:08:01,748 Ah, the smell of victory in the air. 904 01:08:03,516 --> 01:08:05,585 Go, my terrible army! 905 01:08:05,652 --> 01:08:09,622 Go to kakamucho and do your worst! 906 01:08:10,190 --> 01:08:11,991 Oh, and don't forget, 907 01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:14,861 save your receipts! 908 01:08:29,642 --> 01:08:31,378 The signal. They're coming! 909 01:08:31,978 --> 01:08:33,113 They're coming! 910 01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,160 It's showtime. All right, everyone knows what to do. 911 01:08:47,270 --> 01:08:48,661 This is the best bit, isn't it? 912 01:08:48,728 --> 01:08:51,640 Waiting for the death and destruct... 913 01:08:51,164 --> 01:08:53,166 Nah, the best bit is the death and destruct... 914 01:08:53,233 --> 01:08:54,834 This is the second best bit. 915 01:08:54,901 --> 01:08:59,239 Kakamucho is going out of business. Everything must go! 916 01:09:02,409 --> 01:09:04,177 Ah, yes! 917 01:09:04,244 --> 01:09:05,812 Go, team, go! 918 01:09:14,654 --> 01:09:17,257 They're falling for it! They're falling for it! 919 01:09:18,158 --> 01:09:20,600 - Ichiro! - I'm right here. 920 01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:21,161 You're up. 921 01:09:25,165 --> 01:09:28,568 One, you got to account for elevation and wind. And two... 922 01:09:30,503 --> 01:09:32,339 - Got to watch for birds. - Whoops. 923 01:09:32,405 --> 01:09:34,674 - Bird got in the way. - Just try again. 924 01:09:34,741 --> 01:09:36,509 I only had the one bullet. 925 01:09:36,576 --> 01:09:37,577 What are we gonna do? 926 01:09:37,610 --> 01:09:40,800 They'll find out any minute that we folded them a fake town. 927 01:09:57,630 --> 01:09:58,798 We've been tricked! 928 01:10:08,241 --> 01:10:10,977 Oh, my. 929 01:10:18,318 --> 01:10:19,953 Time to clean up this town. 930 01:10:20,553 --> 01:10:21,621 Let's go get 'em! 931 01:11:11,805 --> 01:11:14,307 Way to go, emiko! Woo-woo! 932 01:11:14,374 --> 01:11:16,343 Mom, you're embarrassing me. 933 01:11:22,615 --> 01:11:23,817 Sit! 934 01:11:31,124 --> 01:11:33,893 It's the shogun! 935 01:11:39,566 --> 01:11:40,633 What was that? 936 01:11:40,700 --> 01:11:42,235 Now that's a car. 937 01:11:44,471 --> 01:11:45,839 My magnificence. 938 01:11:45,905 --> 01:11:48,641 What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? 939 01:11:48,708 --> 01:11:51,544 That's him! The troublemaking dog that started all this. 940 01:11:51,644 --> 01:11:53,790 Arrest that dog! 941 01:11:53,179 --> 01:11:55,181 - Arrest the dog. - Yes! 942 01:11:59,652 --> 01:12:00,887 Ouch. Oh, come on. 943 01:12:00,987 --> 01:12:02,756 Ohga, take care of him! 944 01:12:02,856 --> 01:12:03,990 Is he sick? 945 01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:07,600 No, you simpleminded twit! Finish him! 946 01:12:17,937 --> 01:12:19,539 Jimbo, you're alive! 947 01:12:21,410 --> 01:12:24,511 - So that's jimbo! - See? He did date your sister. 948 01:12:25,178 --> 01:12:28,248 Okay, okay, that's enough. 949 01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:29,549 Down, boy! 950 01:12:29,616 --> 01:12:31,351 Jimbo, is that you? 951 01:12:31,418 --> 01:12:32,552 Toshi? 952 01:12:33,753 --> 01:12:35,388 You are the shogun? 953 01:12:35,455 --> 01:12:36,556 Yeah, sure. 954 01:12:36,623 --> 01:12:40,894 It took years to work my way up through the ranks, but look at me now. 955 01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:42,295 What happened to you? 956 01:12:42,395 --> 01:12:46,366 I was shamed, my lord. I am so, so sorry. 957 01:12:46,866 --> 01:12:49,269 - I ruined your birthday. - Are you kidding? 958 01:12:49,369 --> 01:12:51,538 Best birthday party I ever had! 959 01:12:51,604 --> 01:12:54,207 Most surprise parties are so boring. 960 01:12:54,274 --> 01:12:57,277 But that year, that was a real surprise. 961 01:12:57,377 --> 01:13:00,480 I tell that story all the time. Always brings the house down. 962 01:13:00,580 --> 01:13:02,582 And the stuff with your in-laws? 963 01:13:02,649 --> 01:13:05,485 My in-laws, oh! Please, don't get me started. 964 01:13:05,985 --> 01:13:08,488 In-laws you don't pick. Friends you choose. 965 01:13:08,588 --> 01:13:11,491 And you, jimbo, are my friend. 966 01:13:11,591 --> 01:13:13,930 So you forgive me? 967 01:13:13,159 --> 01:13:15,328 Forgiven. Forgotten. No biggie. 968 01:13:15,428 --> 01:13:17,997 Hey, life's short. Like me. Let's move on. 969 01:13:19,466 --> 01:13:21,401 So, what's up with the dog? 970 01:13:21,468 --> 01:13:24,604 That "dog" was defending kakamucho. 971 01:13:24,671 --> 01:13:27,841 A dog defending the town? Why? 972 01:13:27,941 --> 01:13:30,577 Because lord ika here was trying to get rid of it. 973 01:13:30,643 --> 01:13:33,513 Don't believe him! I was just trying to get rid of that dog! 974 01:13:33,613 --> 01:13:36,483 You see? Nike shoe was only trying to get rid of the dog. 975 01:13:36,583 --> 01:13:39,185 But, sir, that dog isn't what you think he is. 976 01:13:39,285 --> 01:13:40,286 He isn't? 977 01:13:40,353 --> 01:13:43,590 I'm not following you. Can someone else explain this? 978 01:13:43,656 --> 01:13:44,824 Allow me. 979 01:13:44,924 --> 01:13:46,760 Ika chu wanted to get rid of the dog 980 01:13:46,826 --> 01:13:48,595 because he was getting in the way of his plan 981 01:13:48,661 --> 01:13:50,363 to frighten the cats of kakamucho 982 01:13:50,463 --> 01:13:52,599 so that he could wipe their town off the map 983 01:13:52,665 --> 01:13:55,835 in order to make his palace absolutely perfect. 984 01:13:55,935 --> 01:13:57,270 Wha...? 985 01:13:57,871 --> 01:13:59,873 Did I leave anything out? 986 01:14:00,607 --> 01:14:01,608 Brains? 987 01:14:01,675 --> 01:14:04,811 Well, peek-a-boo, what do you got to say for yourself? 988 01:14:04,878 --> 01:14:06,312 You want an explanation? 989 01:14:07,347 --> 01:14:08,815 You're gonna get one. 990 01:14:08,882 --> 01:14:10,950 I am... 991 01:14:11,685 --> 01:14:12,952 Running away! 992 01:14:13,820 --> 01:14:16,389 Looks like we got a little more samurai-ing to do. 993 01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:34,868 Oh, you... 994 01:15:44,911 --> 01:15:46,813 Wait, wait, stop, stop! 995 01:15:47,614 --> 01:15:48,615 Right. 996 01:15:49,282 --> 01:15:52,385 I have something very important to tell you, Hank. 997 01:15:52,452 --> 01:15:53,620 What is it? 998 01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:55,422 I am your father. 999 01:15:55,488 --> 01:15:57,257 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. 1000 01:16:01,728 --> 01:16:03,596 I distracted you! 1001 01:16:03,663 --> 01:16:07,767 I'm certainly not about to get outwitted by a stupid dog 1002 01:16:07,834 --> 01:16:10,737 who's not even a real samurai. 1003 01:16:11,504 --> 01:16:14,808 Oh, but you're wrong. I am a real samurai. 1004 01:16:14,908 --> 01:16:17,310 I got a cup right here that says so! 1005 01:16:24,117 --> 01:16:25,151 Grab on! 1006 01:16:27,253 --> 01:16:29,422 No! No, see... ohga! 1007 01:16:29,489 --> 01:16:31,524 You don't understand this concept, do you? 1008 01:16:32,692 --> 01:16:34,361 I will save you! 1009 01:16:39,466 --> 01:16:41,768 Oh, my. 1010 01:16:44,804 --> 01:16:46,373 What the flush? 1011 01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:49,309 Ohga! Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 1012 01:16:49,376 --> 01:16:50,377 I am, sir. 1013 01:16:52,278 --> 01:16:54,514 Thar she blows! 1014 01:17:07,794 --> 01:17:09,462 This palace is gonna blow. 1015 01:17:09,529 --> 01:17:12,165 And when it does, all this water is going straight down to... 1016 01:17:12,832 --> 01:17:14,167 Kakamucho! 1017 01:17:14,234 --> 01:17:16,403 - What can we do? - We don't have much time. 1018 01:17:16,503 --> 01:17:18,380 We've got to do something. 1019 01:17:33,486 --> 01:17:34,521 One, please. 1020 01:17:44,531 --> 01:17:48,401 Guys, you got to help me! The giant toilet is overflowing! 1021 01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:51,104 Have you tried to jiggle the handle? 1022 01:17:51,204 --> 01:17:53,673 Too late for that. But I have an idea. 1023 01:17:58,178 --> 01:17:59,379 We're listening. 1024 01:17:59,446 --> 01:18:00,914 But you better make it snappy! 1025 01:18:01,140 --> 01:18:02,820 We've had our differences, 1026 01:18:02,182 --> 01:18:04,884 but the times we've actually worked together we've accomplished a lot. 1027 01:18:04,918 --> 01:18:07,253 So if you trust me, I think we can save the town. 1028 01:18:07,854 --> 01:18:09,189 That was pretty snappy. 1029 01:18:09,255 --> 01:18:10,690 What do you want us to do? 1030 01:18:11,257 --> 01:18:12,392 Dig! 1031 01:18:12,959 --> 01:18:14,294 But cats don't dig. 1032 01:18:14,394 --> 01:18:16,596 Okay, so you don't dig. Can you swim? 1033 01:18:31,778 --> 01:18:33,446 You heard him. Dig! 1034 01:19:08,148 --> 01:19:09,582 Hurry up! 1035 01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:22,595 Where are they? 1036 01:19:24,197 --> 01:19:25,498 Help! Help! 1037 01:19:28,935 --> 01:19:29,936 Help! 1038 01:19:41,648 --> 01:19:42,716 Emiko! 1039 01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:24,570 I've got you. 1040 01:20:45,578 --> 01:20:48,140 Well, that pretty much wraps things up. 1041 01:20:48,810 --> 01:20:50,884 Almost 85 minutes exactly. 1042 01:20:50,950 --> 01:20:55,355 All that's left is appointing a new samurai for kakamucho. 1043 01:20:55,922 --> 01:20:57,757 What do you say, jimbo? 1044 01:20:57,857 --> 01:20:59,225 Me, my lord? 1045 01:20:59,292 --> 01:21:02,696 Why not? I can't think of anyone better, can you? 1046 01:21:04,397 --> 01:21:08,401 I can. Kakamucho already has a samurai. 1047 01:21:08,468 --> 01:21:09,602 The dog? 1048 01:21:09,703 --> 01:21:13,730 He can't be a samurai. He can't be anywhere. It's the law. 1049 01:21:13,139 --> 01:21:14,941 You know the rules: "No dogs allowed." 1050 01:21:15,410 --> 01:21:17,277 It's not personal, it's just business. 1051 01:21:17,777 --> 01:21:20,213 And you know what they say: There's no business... 1052 01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:22,449 Like shogun business! 1053 01:21:22,549 --> 01:21:24,117 Exactally! 1054 01:21:24,217 --> 01:21:26,386 But he's not a dog. 1055 01:21:29,155 --> 01:21:30,457 He's my friend. 1056 01:21:30,557 --> 01:21:33,560 And more than that, he's our samurai. 1057 01:21:33,626 --> 01:21:36,663 - He is? - That's what I was trying to tell you. 1058 01:21:36,763 --> 01:21:40,433 Wow. You live nine lives, you get to see everything. 1059 01:21:40,500 --> 01:21:42,569 Who knew? A dog samurai. 1060 01:21:42,635 --> 01:21:44,838 Hank is not a dog samurai. 1061 01:21:44,938 --> 01:21:47,340 Hank is a great samurai! 1062 01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:49,943 A truly great samurai! 1063 01:21:50,100 --> 01:21:52,612 Woof, woof, woof, woof! 1064 01:21:52,679 --> 01:21:57,784 Then I dub thee town samurai of kakamucho. 1065 01:21:58,952 --> 01:22:02,880 Actually, you already officially appointed him. 1066 01:22:02,155 --> 01:22:03,456 - I did? - Yeah. 1067 01:22:03,523 --> 01:22:05,458 I had an official samurai cup and everything. 1068 01:22:05,525 --> 01:22:07,927 Oh, well, if you had an official cup and everything... 1069 01:22:07,994 --> 01:22:09,963 And I don't know what that means... 1070 01:22:10,300 --> 01:22:13,266 But I bet you don't have an official sword. 1071 01:22:19,706 --> 01:22:21,141 Wait. Please wait. 1072 01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:25,450 Thank you. But I can't accept this honor. 1073 01:22:25,645 --> 01:22:27,847 - Why not? - Yeah, why not? 1074 01:22:29,349 --> 01:22:31,518 I have a contract with my teacher 1075 01:22:31,618 --> 01:22:33,553 that says I haven't yet finished my training. 1076 01:22:38,224 --> 01:22:41,528 But there is someone else that's most deserving of this honor. 1077 01:22:43,163 --> 01:22:44,164 Emiko. 1078 01:22:44,898 --> 01:22:46,833 You are a true samurai. 1079 01:22:49,690 --> 01:22:50,136 The little one? 1080 01:22:50,203 --> 01:22:53,239 Yes, my lord. She's always defended the town. 1081 01:22:53,340 --> 01:22:55,508 I will carry it with honor. 1082 01:22:55,575 --> 01:22:57,100 I know you will. 1083 01:23:10,757 --> 01:23:13,493 So how does it feel to be a real samurai? 1084 01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:17,263 Good. But not as good as it will feel someday when I'm the shogun. 1085 01:23:17,364 --> 01:23:19,532 The shogun? You? 1086 01:23:21,534 --> 01:23:22,769 You know something? 1087 01:23:22,869 --> 01:23:25,372 That ain't such a bad idea. Sure, why not? 1088 01:23:25,438 --> 01:23:26,873 And I got to tell you, 1089 01:23:27,440 --> 01:23:29,209 it's good to be the shogun. 1090 01:23:39,886 --> 01:23:41,888 Milk's on me! 1091 01:23:44,924 --> 01:23:46,793 Kind of warms your heart, doesn't it? 1092 01:23:49,295 --> 01:23:51,197 - What's that for? - Defend yourself! 1093 01:23:52,432 --> 01:23:55,902 - Wait, wait, stop! Time-out. Stop. - No. 1094 01:23:56,636 --> 01:23:58,271 - That hurts. - Got you again! 1095 01:23:59,372 --> 01:24:01,374 How does that feel? This is my favorite part. 1096 01:24:01,441 --> 01:24:02,976 The part where you suffer. 1097 01:36:10,360 --> 01:36:14,207 Doggone it. Still, at least I don't have to do the sequel.