1 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:20,460 We are gathered here today to immortalise in song 2 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,616 the life and untimely death of a great legend. 3 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,520 -Rango. -So sit back, relax, 4 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:30,560 and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections 5 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:34,961 while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero 6 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:38,498 who has yet to enter his own story. 7 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,915 Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. 8 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,419 Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. 9 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,257 The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. 10 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:08,328 Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. 11 00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:12,932 "It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." 12 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,934 She reaches for the poisoned chalice. 13 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,371 Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne 14 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,874 while her ageing father lies gravely ill. 15 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,543 "Yes, I am gravely ill." 16 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,880 "Hark, who goes there?" 17 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,516 'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, 18 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,285 returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! 19 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,454 Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, 20 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,390 or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! 21 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,393 The sting of my... 22 00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:44,297 Dr Marx? 23 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,330 Dr Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. 24 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:51,370 People, we've talked about this. Acting is reacting. 25 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:53,640 Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. 26 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,575 Mr Timms? You were good. 27 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:58,745 Perhaps a little too good. 28 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:03,490 What's that, Victor? My character's undefined? That's absurd. 29 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:08,154 I know who I am. I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. 30 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:12,225 Every story needs a hero. I mean, who else is better qualified 31 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,995 to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? 32 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,850 The stage is waiting. 33 00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,200 The audience thirsts for adventure. 34 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,857 Who am l? 35 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,426 l could be anyone. 36 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:51,364 I could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage 37 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:53,633 to reclaim his mechanical arm! 38 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:59,272 Or I could be the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo! 39 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,107 Down, Chongo, down! 40 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,110 And if you desire romance, 41 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:08,715 I will become the greatest lover the world has ever known! 42 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:19,793 I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. 43 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,630 You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. 44 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,166 But you seem remarkably at ease. 45 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,468 Stop it. No, really. 46 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,970 Well, if you must. What are you doing? 47 00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:33,730 That tickles. Are those real? 48 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,309 That's it! Conflict. 49 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,978 Victor, you were right. I have been undefined. 50 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:44,184 People, I've had an epiphany. The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! 51 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,420 What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event 52 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:50,256 that will propel the hero into conflict! 53 00:05:46,813 --> 00:06:09,402 Mr Timms? 54 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,920 That's right! You! 55 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,462 Don't be shy. Come on. 56 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,697 It's okay. 57 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,766 That's it, a little closer. 58 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,435 Good. 59 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,738 I won't bite you. 60 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,875 I need a little help here. 61 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:50,744 Are you okay? 62 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,880 I must get to the other side. 63 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,750 The other side? You mean, just now, that was you crossing the road? 64 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,118 That's why the... 65 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,553 Why'd you do that? 66 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,757 This is my quest. He waits for me. 67 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,225 What? Who? 68 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,895 The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. 69 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:13,333 They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him. 70 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,235 What are you talking about? 71 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,672 Enlightenment. We are nothing without it. 72 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,409 Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! 73 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,944 I had an incredibly complex social network going! 74 00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:27,914 Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular! 75 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,116 Friends? I don't see no friends. 76 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,688 You are a very lonely lizard. 77 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,925 Look, I need water, hydration. My teeth are chapped. 78 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,161 I need lotion. I'm down to one layer of skin already. 79 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,996 Pretty soon, I'm going to start seeing my insides. 80 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,699 Not unlike what you've got going there. 81 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,634 Listen, I can't survive in the desert, okay? 82 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,636 I... I don't belong here. 83 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,600 That may be true, but here you are. 84 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:58,545 Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek. 85 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,147 -You will? -And perhaps more. 86 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,283 Quickly. I must get back to my quest. 87 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:07,200 -You mean you've done this before? -Yes. Many times. 88 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,623 Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. 89 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,692 The Spirit is waiting for me. 90 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:14,527 Okay, okay. 91 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,235 Okay. That's not going to work. 92 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,304 I must get to the other side. 93 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,874 Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? 94 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,642 It's not so easy as it looks. 95 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,744 What? 96 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,245 Is a metaphor. 97 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,100 There's another one! 98 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:06,913 I knew it. 99 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,260 You need a little help, amigo? 100 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,430 I think the metaphor broke my spleen. 101 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,990 The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. 102 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,350 I'm just looking for the path to water. 103 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:33,807 If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt. 104 00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,309 Dirt. 105 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,546 Destiny, she is kind to you. 106 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,549 Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. 107 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:47,153 At noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterious ritual. 108 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:52,125 A town? You mean, with real people and everything? Where? 109 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,610 A day's journey. Follow your shadow. 110 00:09:56,830 --> 00:10:00,300 You want me to just walk out into the desert? 111 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,468 That's the way. 112 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,970 Okay. So you're saying 113 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,640 there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. 114 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,242 Go on. It's okay. 115 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,910 Okay. 116 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,979 Well, then, I'm going. 117 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,416 I am leaving the road now! 118 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,986 I'm walking into the desert! 119 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,755 Alone! 120 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,424 We all have ourjourneys to make! 121 00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,761 I will see you on the other side. 122 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:45,110 Welcome, amigo 123 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:48,114 To the land without end 124 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,351 The desert and death 125 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:55,355 Are the closest of friends 126 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,358 We sing of his courage 127 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,695 ln magnificent song 128 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,631 But pay close attention 129 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,634 He won't be here long 130 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:15,410 As the birds pluck his eyes The sun bleaches his bones 131 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:20,146 See his entrails get scattered Watch him lose his cojones 132 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,550 Here in the Mojave Desert, 133 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:34,394 animals have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. 134 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,731 But the lizard? He is going to die. 135 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:41,501 "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..." 136 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,670 -Don't move. -What? 137 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,578 -Don't move! -Not moving. 138 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:52,746 Not moving. 139 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,150 Try to blend in. 140 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,683 Blend in? What do you mean? 141 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,688 Blend in. 142 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,523 What are you saying? 143 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,926 -Too late. -No, no. It's not too late! 144 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,262 I'm blending! I'm a blender! 145 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,464 Hey, calm down! What are you doing? 146 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,902 Stop moving! 147 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,238 Try not to look conspicuous. 148 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,282 -What are you doing? -I'm blending. 149 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,217 -Go blend somewhere else. -Don't distract me. 150 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,119 -No room at the inn. -It's an art, not a science. 151 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,155 -Find your own hiding place. -No, this is good. 152 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,957 Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! 153 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,828 -What? I thought you said, "Don't move." -That was before. Now, you run. 154 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,211 Oh, hey. Proboscis. 155 00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:32,946 Testy. 156 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:49,796 Please, no, please. I have vertigo! My glands are swelling! 157 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,465 Please, no. 158 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,411 You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! 159 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,413 Get out of there. I'm going to strangle your huevos! 160 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,314 Big bird! Big bird! 161 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,885 No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! 162 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,887 -Come on, we're friends, right? -I don't know you! 163 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,755 -Lizards, frogs... -Find your own hiding place! 164 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,524 -We're practically related! -No room at the inn! 165 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,250 -Come on, move over! -You're not my friend! 166 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,227 I'll let you kiss my sister! 167 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,871 You son of a... 168 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,829 Where are your friends now, amigo? 169 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,161 Get your slimy-webbed phalanges off my boots! 170 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,296 Sorry. 171 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:06,633 I got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow 172 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,168 lessen you want to spend the better part 173 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,136 of the afternoon putting your face back together! 174 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,939 -No, ma'am, I don't. -Who are you? 175 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,342 -Who am I? -I'm asking the questions here! 176 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,877 Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of a drought. 177 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,713 Now someone's dumping water in the desert! 178 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,948 It's a puzzle of undeterminable size and dimension, 179 00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,851 but I intend to find out what role you playing in all this. 180 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:27,554 -Role? -What are you involved in? 181 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,190 Well, I'm glad you asked. 182 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:33,393 I've got two one-acts, a mystery and a musical I've been gestating. 183 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,629 I got the words, I'm just working on the melody right now. It's like a... 184 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,330 I think it's gonna be a western. 185 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,736 A monkey got a cracker His mother was a slapper 186 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,473 She'll be coming 'round the mountain in the rain 187 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,643 You ain't from around here, are you? 188 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,980 I'm still working on it. 189 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,883 So, what's your name? 190 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,519 -Beans. -That's a funny kind of name. 191 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,555 What can I say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans. 192 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,391 Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus. 193 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,692 What are you saying? 194 00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:07,861 I mean, I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself, 195 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,230 but I'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker. 196 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:14,934 My daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes. 197 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,570 -Spicy. -You're eating his ashes! 198 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,106 You carry his remains? 199 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,510 No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body. 200 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,578 Well, I'm sure he had his reasons. 201 00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:27,681 -What are you implying? -Nothing. 202 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,749 My daddy was never near that mine shaft. 203 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,418 He'd been sober for over a month! 204 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,454 And for you to insinuate that he would abandon his parental responsibilities 205 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,525 at a delicate time in my personal development is an affront to my sense... 206 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,563 Miss Beans? 207 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,800 Miss Beans? Hello? 208 00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,869 Hello? 209 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,987 And until the people ofAndromeda Five 210 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,257 return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch! 211 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,961 -What... What are you doing? -What are you doing? 212 00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:16,930 -What am I doing? -You're cuddling me. 213 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,431 -You were frozen. -I was not. 214 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,433 Yes, you were. You stopped talking. 215 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,803 It's a defence mechanism. Actually, lots of lizards have it. 216 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,105 You're making that up. 217 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,141 So, you gonna die out here, or you want a ride into town? 218 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:32,178 No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please. Thank you. Sorry. 219 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:36,160 Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it. 220 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,251 So who are you, really? 221 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,860 Well, I'm a man of many epithets. 222 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,522 There's my stage name, my pen name, my avatar. 223 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,158 I had a pseudonym once, but I had it legally changed. 224 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:49,262 And so the stranger, seeking companionship, 225 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:53,666 finds the woman, much like the sirens of ancient times 226 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:58,380 luring him to his certain demise. 227 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,440 ...nom de plume, I have a CB handle. 228 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,208 I'm actually one of the few men with a maiden name. 229 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,978 Whoa! Well, here we are. 230 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,486 Right. 231 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,156 Well, I sure do appreciate this, Miss Beans, 232 00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,992 -and if there's ever anything that I... -Get on up! 233 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,127 Okay, then! 234 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,630 See you, Beans. 235 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,414 You heading out, Jim? 236 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,651 Well, we gave it our best shot. We had to sell out. 237 00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:47,587 Can't grow no crops without no water. 238 00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,690 Bye, now! 239 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,930 What is it? 240 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,267 What was that for? 241 00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:03,690 You're funny looking. 242 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,839 Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too. 243 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,274 -That's a funny-looking shirt. -That's a funny-looking dress. 244 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,777 -You got funny-looking eyes! -You got a funny-looking face! 245 00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:15,849 You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here. 246 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,351 Here's your beans, Beans. 247 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,453 I'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie. 248 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,591 Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. I can't give you more credit. 249 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,960 But I'll have what I owe you at noon. 250 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,298 You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack down at the bank. He cut off all credit. 251 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,601 Hey, Beans! Beans! 252 00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:36,803 You know that there fella? 253 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,438 Hey, Beans! Miss Beans! 254 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,473 Nope. 255 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,775 Hey, Beans! 256 00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:43,430 Hey. 257 00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:47,781 Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in. 258 00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:20,807 I'd like a glass of water. 259 00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,211 He wants a glass of water! 260 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:27,580 Make it a double! 261 00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,490 Give him the spittoon! 262 00:22:33,987 --> 00:22:37,691 Cactus juice. That's what we got. 263 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,249 Hey, there, fruit cup. 264 00:23:03,350 --> 00:23:07,387 You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? 265 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,230 Who exactly are you? 266 00:23:14,361 --> 00:23:15,695 Who am l? 267 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,531 I could be anyone. 268 00:23:22,369 --> 00:23:26,573 What's the matter? You missing your mommy's mangos? 269 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:29,876 As a matter of fact, I am. 270 00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:32,879 But not as much as your daddy's cooking! 271 00:23:35,115 --> 00:23:38,284 Exactly where did you say you were from? 272 00:23:38,385 --> 00:23:41,721 Me? I'm from the West. 273 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:45,580 Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. 274 00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:47,727 The Far West. 275 00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:51,398 Yeah, that's right, hombres. 276 00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:54,234 The place I come from, we kill a man before breakfast 277 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,469 just to work up an appetite. 278 00:23:57,137 --> 00:23:59,272 Then we salt him, and we pepper him. 279 00:23:59,406 --> 00:24:03,510 Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him. 280 00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:05,645 -You eat him? -That's what I said! 281 00:24:05,745 --> 00:24:09,849 Hell, I seen things make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! 282 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:13,153 You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices. 283 00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:16,122 It'll change a man. Oh, yeah. 284 00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:23,960 Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. Just the way I like it. 285 00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:28,101 So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, I am not from around these parts. 286 00:24:28,168 --> 00:24:30,503 You might say I'm from everywhere there's trouble brewing 287 00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:32,872 and hell waiting to be raised. 288 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,443 You might say I'm what hell's already raised up. 289 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,279 Name's 290 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:44,284 Rango. 291 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,121 Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers? 292 00:24:49,289 --> 00:24:51,558 Killed them with one bullet. 293 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:53,460 Don't get no deader. 294 00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:55,628 All seven of them? 295 00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:58,131 That's right. 296 00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:00,467 All seven of them. 297 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,671 Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango? 298 00:25:07,207 --> 00:25:09,420 You know, I'm glad you asked me that. 299 00:25:09,142 --> 00:25:13,146 And I will be happy to tell you how. But you're all gonna have to listen up! 300 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,649 Because this is where it gets 301 00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,190 complicated. 302 00:25:21,154 --> 00:25:24,240 That'll close out your account, Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig. 303 00:25:24,157 --> 00:25:27,394 Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left of your college education! 304 00:25:29,829 --> 00:25:32,650 I don't rightly have no other choice, Beans. 305 00:25:32,165 --> 00:25:36,336 Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit. 306 00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:39,673 But this here is a bank. This is where you keep the water. 307 00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:47,180 Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy 308 00:25:48,682 --> 00:25:52,218 did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. 309 00:25:52,352 --> 00:25:56,856 I've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. 310 00:25:56,923 --> 00:25:58,925 But that... Well... 311 00:25:59,526 --> 00:26:01,227 -Mr Merrimack? -Realities are bearing down. 312 00:26:01,361 --> 00:26:02,862 Mr Merrimack! 313 00:26:03,697 --> 00:26:04,898 Are you all right? 314 00:26:05,532 --> 00:26:09,350 Beans, I need to show you something. 315 00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:20,213 -That's all that's left? -And this here is the reserve! 316 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,948 I don't know if you've noticed, 317 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,552 but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more! 318 00:26:25,618 --> 00:26:29,890 Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some water, I'm gonna lose my ranch 319 00:26:29,222 --> 00:26:31,558 and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? 320 00:26:31,624 --> 00:26:34,794 Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. 321 00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:38,898 Someone is dumping water in the desert. 322 00:26:39,566 --> 00:26:42,302 I seen it with my own eyes. 323 00:26:44,104 --> 00:26:46,600 Water in the desert? 324 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:49,142 Was this during one of your special times? 325 00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,477 No. 326 00:26:50,577 --> 00:26:54,647 Well, we can all dream, but this is the reality. 327 00:26:54,748 --> 00:26:58,351 Why do you think so many people are selling out? They just can't make it. 328 00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,920 Well, what am I supposed to do? 329 00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:04,240 Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. 330 00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:07,293 I hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis. 331 00:27:07,427 --> 00:27:08,495 The Mayor? 332 00:27:08,595 --> 00:27:11,297 He may be our only hope. 333 00:27:11,431 --> 00:27:14,334 Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, 334 00:27:14,434 --> 00:27:15,802 and that's when the roof caved in, 335 00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:18,400 igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol 336 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:21,941 instantly vapourising his bodily form, leaving nothing but a charcoal statue 337 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,144 and a high-pitched squeal. 338 00:27:29,949 --> 00:27:33,853 Hold on, there. That's only six. What happened to number seven? 339 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:36,456 Number seven? 340 00:27:36,523 --> 00:27:38,858 Hell, he died of infection. 341 00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:44,164 -Seven men! -One bullet! 342 00:27:44,297 --> 00:27:46,299 Drinks all around! 343 00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:51,171 Dance for me, Sod Buster! 344 00:27:51,304 --> 00:27:54,700 -Yes, dance like a chicken! -That's right! Dance! 345 00:27:55,475 --> 00:27:57,644 You got corn in your ears, mate? 346 00:27:57,711 --> 00:28:00,680 You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land! 347 00:28:00,814 --> 00:28:03,850 -That's basic real estate law, my friend. -Quid pro quo! 348 00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:07,200 If I see your face in this town again, 349 00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:11,524 I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables. 350 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:13,393 Mind the beak. 351 00:28:14,561 --> 00:28:17,163 And don't come back! 352 00:28:18,998 --> 00:28:21,701 What are you all gawping at? 353 00:28:25,238 --> 00:28:28,842 Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I got to tell you! 354 00:28:33,413 --> 00:28:34,714 What is this? 355 00:28:34,848 --> 00:28:38,852 You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango! 356 00:28:38,918 --> 00:28:42,756 Yeah, he ain't afraid of you! He ain't afraid of none of you. 357 00:28:42,856 --> 00:28:44,290 Killed them Jenkins brothers. 358 00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:47,360 -Done it with one bullet, Bill. -All seven of them! 359 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:49,896 Is that right? 360 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,903 Let me get that before you... 361 00:29:34,307 --> 00:29:36,760 No. Oh, I know. Here. 362 00:29:39,913 --> 00:29:42,449 Just take care of that for you. 363 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:45,452 There. All better. 364 00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:12,445 T.O. T.O. Just a second. 365 00:30:14,781 --> 00:30:16,149 All right, now listen! 366 00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:19,486 I'm going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider! 367 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:27,227 And if you don't want to reconsider 368 00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:30,463 I might consider reconsidering myself. 369 00:30:41,808 --> 00:30:45,178 Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. 370 00:30:45,311 --> 00:30:46,880 All right, now listen up! 371 00:30:46,980 --> 00:30:50,160 Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town. 372 00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:53,186 Got some new rules! I want my shoes shined every morning, 373 00:30:53,319 --> 00:30:55,188 my coffee hot, Danish on the side. 374 00:30:55,321 --> 00:30:57,524 Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye. 375 00:30:57,657 --> 00:31:00,930 Stay out of my peripheral vision! 376 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,162 -It's Rango. -What's he up to? 377 00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:05,398 He ain't afraid of nobody. He's telling that bird what's for! 378 00:31:05,498 --> 00:31:07,333 And when you see me coming, stand aside. 379 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,370 I take large steps and I don't want none of you hayseeds 380 00:31:10,503 --> 00:31:13,173 getting your bodily fluids on my boots! 381 00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:17,844 Of course, there is no need for violence, 382 00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:20,880 as long as we stick together, work as a team. 383 00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:24,384 So I want you all to come outside now and line up single file 384 00:31:24,517 --> 00:31:25,952 while I take a brief intermission! 385 00:31:28,855 --> 00:31:30,623 What's he doing now? 386 00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:32,359 I think it's a number two. 387 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,882 Never mind. 388 00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:18,471 Take a look-see over here! 389 00:32:18,571 --> 00:32:19,806 Well, look at him now! 390 00:32:19,906 --> 00:32:21,775 He's chasing after that hawk! 391 00:32:21,908 --> 00:32:52,872 Give him hell, Rango! 392 00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:20,930 -Did you see that? -He killed that thing! 393 00:34:20,193 --> 00:34:21,861 What do you think, Doc? 394 00:34:22,562 --> 00:34:25,298 This hawk is dead! 395 00:34:25,899 --> 00:34:28,368 Shoot, I say we cook that right up. 396 00:34:28,468 --> 00:34:30,136 He did it with one bullet! 397 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:31,771 Just like he said! 398 00:34:31,871 --> 00:34:33,606 It's about time we had a hero around here. 399 00:34:33,707 --> 00:34:35,975 One who ain't in a pine box. 400 00:34:36,643 --> 00:34:39,479 I think it's time he met the Mayor. 401 00:34:39,579 --> 00:34:42,549 You hear that, Rango? You're going to meet the Mayor! 402 00:34:42,649 --> 00:34:44,984 Let's hear it for Rango! 403 00:34:48,321 --> 00:34:50,757 And so the stranger basks 404 00:34:50,890 --> 00:34:54,227 in the adulation of his new friends, 405 00:34:54,327 --> 00:34:59,499 sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception. 406 00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:01,267 When is he going to die? 407 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:03,837 Soon, compadre. Soon. 408 00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:22,422 My land is not for sale! 409 00:35:23,590 --> 00:35:26,920 I came here to save my land, not sell it! 410 00:35:26,192 --> 00:35:29,863 I'm sure there's something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him! 411 00:35:31,264 --> 00:35:33,330 Beans! Where are you going? Beans? 412 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,435 The Mayor will see you now. 413 00:35:40,874 --> 00:35:44,144 Water, Mr Rango, water. 414 00:35:44,611 --> 00:35:47,947 Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. 415 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,552 But with water there's life. 416 00:35:54,454 --> 00:35:59,459 Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. 417 00:36:00,126 --> 00:36:02,195 That's the immutable law of the desert. 418 00:36:04,130 --> 00:36:08,334 Control the water and you control everything. 419 00:36:08,568 --> 00:36:12,906 But I don't have to tell you that being a true man of the West, as you are. 420 00:36:13,173 --> 00:36:17,410 Oh, yeah. The West is the best. 421 00:36:17,577 --> 00:36:19,746 This is from my private stock. 422 00:36:19,846 --> 00:36:22,982 Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. 423 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,554 Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, I'm not that old. 424 00:36:30,323 --> 00:36:32,692 I guess power has its privileges. 425 00:36:33,259 --> 00:36:34,761 You make a good point, son. 426 00:36:35,929 --> 00:36:38,865 But with privilege comes responsibility. 427 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:43,436 Hell, I was mayor here before there was a Dirt! 428 00:36:43,536 --> 00:36:46,873 And I may be just a sentimental old turtle 429 00:36:47,700 --> 00:36:52,120 but I think there's a future for this town. And I hope you'll be part of it. 430 00:36:54,114 --> 00:36:56,616 -To Dirt! -To Dirt. 431 00:36:59,686 --> 00:37:03,189 You see them, Mr Rango? All my friends and neighbours? 432 00:37:04,190 --> 00:37:07,527 It's a hard life here. Very hard. 433 00:37:08,461 --> 00:37:12,320 Do you know how they make it through each and every day? 434 00:37:12,132 --> 00:37:13,199 They believe. 435 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,703 They believe it's going to be better. 436 00:37:16,803 --> 00:37:20,140 They believe that the water will come. 437 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,742 They believe against all odds and all evidence 438 00:37:22,876 --> 00:37:25,450 that tomorrow will be better than today. 439 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:29,649 People have to believe in something. 440 00:37:30,550 --> 00:37:33,586 Right now, they believe in you. 441 00:37:35,822 --> 00:37:40,600 Pick it up, Mr Rango. Your destiny awaits. 442 00:37:43,563 --> 00:37:47,000 People have to believe in something. 443 00:37:53,406 --> 00:37:55,642 It's almost noon. Is everything ready? 444 00:37:55,742 --> 00:37:58,578 Yeah. But he might be a problem. 445 00:37:58,645 --> 00:38:02,820 He's not a problem, William. He's a solution. 446 00:38:05,418 --> 00:38:06,753 It just don't make no sense. 447 00:38:06,986 --> 00:38:08,421 This whole town is drying up, 448 00:38:08,488 --> 00:38:11,910 and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. 449 00:38:11,191 --> 00:38:13,193 Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? 450 00:38:13,326 --> 00:38:16,496 And what about that water I saw out in the desert? 451 00:38:16,596 --> 00:38:20,934 All right! No need to incite anxiety. I'll inquire about the Mayor. 452 00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:24,771 But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, 453 00:38:24,838 --> 00:38:27,874 I suggest you take it up with the new sheriff. 454 00:38:29,175 --> 00:38:32,212 This is going to be good. Hey! Watch that needle there. 455 00:38:32,312 --> 00:38:34,280 Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker! 456 00:38:34,347 --> 00:38:35,382 That's good. 457 00:38:35,482 --> 00:38:37,170 Oh, easy there, tiger. 458 00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,685 -A little up and back? -I don't think so. 459 00:38:38,785 --> 00:38:39,819 Have you got French cuffs with that? 460 00:38:39,886 --> 00:38:41,554 Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I want to talk to you. 461 00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:43,156 Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? 462 00:38:43,223 --> 00:38:45,225 I got a 10-gallon hat marked down from 15. 463 00:38:45,325 --> 00:38:46,893 -That's nice. -Have you met Angelique? 464 00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:48,828 -Hello, Beans. -Hello, Angelique. 465 00:38:48,895 --> 00:38:49,963 -Tart. -Floozy. 466 00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:52,232 -Trollop. -Excuse me, Mr Rango. 467 00:38:52,332 --> 00:38:53,967 I will blow that ugly right off your face! 468 00:38:54,234 --> 00:38:56,236 I was just thinking that... 469 00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:58,705 You want the old John Hancock, do you? 470 00:38:58,805 --> 00:39:00,907 -Well, here. Hold this. -Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call. 471 00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:02,709 There's a bullet in there. 472 00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:04,344 I know about the shindig this afternoon. 473 00:39:04,411 --> 00:39:06,913 -I ordered myself some right fancy duds. -Sheriff, I'd like to file a... 474 00:39:07,130 --> 00:39:08,748 -Mr Rango! -Oh, you, too? No problem. 475 00:39:08,848 --> 00:39:10,483 -Here, let me just... -I need you to investigate... 476 00:39:10,550 --> 00:39:13,420 You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it. 477 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:14,721 -What? -Now, remember, son, 478 00:39:14,821 --> 00:39:17,357 stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare. 479 00:39:17,424 --> 00:39:19,590 -Who's Shakespeare? -Sheriff Rango, 480 00:39:19,526 --> 00:39:21,261 if that is your real name. 481 00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:23,563 I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, 482 00:39:23,663 --> 00:39:25,732 which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown 483 00:39:25,832 --> 00:39:28,735 while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop! 484 00:39:30,937 --> 00:39:34,274 Sad, really. Such a drab little thing. 485 00:39:34,941 --> 00:39:36,109 Why does she do that? 486 00:39:36,209 --> 00:39:39,446 -It's a survival reflex. -Her switch is just broken. 487 00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:41,140 Well, that's an inconvenience. 488 00:39:41,810 --> 00:39:43,717 It is not a rash! It is a birthmark! 489 00:39:45,385 --> 00:39:46,686 I did it again, didn't I? 490 00:39:46,753 --> 00:39:48,210 Did what? 491 00:39:48,388 --> 00:39:49,956 Let me ask you something. 492 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,127 Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff? 493 00:40:33,466 --> 00:40:37,837 Pardon, but may I ask you... Excuse me, may I ask you... 494 00:40:37,937 --> 00:40:41,775 The last sheriff... Pardon me. Where is everybody going? 495 00:40:42,308 --> 00:40:45,278 What exactly happened to the... 496 00:40:49,616 --> 00:40:51,184 All day 497 00:40:51,284 --> 00:40:55,288 l've faced the barren waste 498 00:40:55,789 --> 00:40:59,659 Without the taste of water 499 00:41:03,530 --> 00:41:07,330 Cool water 500 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,306 Old Dan and l 501 00:41:13,373 --> 00:41:15,375 With throats burned dry 502 00:41:15,942 --> 00:41:20,146 And souls that cry 503 00:41:20,213 --> 00:41:22,816 For water 504 00:41:25,885 --> 00:41:27,187 Cool 505 00:41:29,122 --> 00:41:30,557 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 506 00:41:30,657 --> 00:41:33,126 Clear water 507 00:41:41,134 --> 00:41:42,869 This is a heck of a hoedown you got going. 508 00:41:42,969 --> 00:41:44,738 Still working out those steps. 509 00:41:44,838 --> 00:41:48,708 So, is this considered normal civic behaviour? 510 00:41:48,808 --> 00:41:51,311 Every Wednesday, just like clockwork. 511 00:41:51,378 --> 00:41:53,146 You kill bird. 512 00:41:53,213 --> 00:41:56,820 Yeah. Matter of fact, I did. 513 00:41:56,182 --> 00:41:58,718 Bird dead. Snake come. 514 00:41:58,985 --> 00:41:59,986 Snake? 515 00:42:00,530 --> 00:42:01,855 He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango. 516 00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:04,190 He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that hawk. 517 00:42:04,257 --> 00:42:05,558 But he might come now. 518 00:42:05,658 --> 00:42:07,227 Can I have your boots when you're dead? 519 00:42:07,327 --> 00:42:08,395 No! 520 00:42:08,495 --> 00:42:10,864 And I ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake. 521 00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:12,599 That's just what Amos said. 522 00:42:12,866 --> 00:42:14,834 Amos? 523 00:42:18,171 --> 00:42:20,507 You got any gold fillings? 524 00:42:38,758 --> 00:42:41,361 My fellow Dirtonians. 525 00:42:41,428 --> 00:42:46,433 I welcome you to our great day of deliverance. Hallelujah. 526 00:42:46,533 --> 00:42:48,101 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 527 00:42:48,201 --> 00:42:51,738 Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot! 528 00:43:02,315 --> 00:43:05,652 We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. 529 00:43:05,752 --> 00:43:08,488 A man l think needs little introduction to you 530 00:43:08,588 --> 00:43:12,759 so bold has been his entry into our fair society. 531 00:43:12,826 --> 00:43:16,960 Mr Rango, would you step forward? 532 00:43:21,935 --> 00:43:26,272 The time has come, my friends. The time that was foretold! 533 00:43:26,339 --> 00:43:28,800 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 534 00:43:28,108 --> 00:43:29,509 The sacred time! 535 00:43:29,609 --> 00:43:31,411 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 536 00:43:31,478 --> 00:43:33,847 The time of destiny! 537 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:35,515 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 538 00:43:35,615 --> 00:43:38,118 The time of deliverance! 539 00:43:38,184 --> 00:43:39,252 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 540 00:43:39,319 --> 00:43:43,456 It is the time of hydration! 541 00:43:58,972 --> 00:44:01,374 -It's his fault! -It's the newcomer! 542 00:44:01,474 --> 00:44:03,176 -Burn him! -He's a witch! 543 00:44:03,276 --> 00:44:04,377 I get his boots! 544 00:44:04,477 --> 00:44:08,715 My friends, my friends! Temper your frustrations. 545 00:44:08,815 --> 00:44:13,887 Times will be tough from now on. Sacrifices will have to be made. 546 00:44:13,987 --> 00:44:17,657 But if I can help in any way, please know that my door is always... 547 00:44:17,724 --> 00:44:19,359 Hold it, hold it! 548 00:44:19,459 --> 00:44:22,228 Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. 549 00:44:22,328 --> 00:44:24,831 First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot? 550 00:44:24,898 --> 00:44:25,965 The bank's run dry? 551 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,735 -What's she talking about? -She said there's no water in the bank! 552 00:44:34,700 --> 00:44:37,177 This is all we have! We can't give it all out! 553 00:44:37,243 --> 00:44:39,479 That was my rehydration account! 554 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,884 None of that civil disobedience in my town, thank you very much. 555 00:44:47,487 --> 00:44:50,757 Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. Things were getting out of hand. 556 00:44:50,857 --> 00:44:52,726 Come right in. 557 00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:56,863 Let me have a gander at the source of the societal discontentment here. 558 00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:01,670 Mercy. 559 00:45:01,167 --> 00:45:03,870 All right, listen up! I've been thinking 560 00:45:03,937 --> 00:45:06,740 and I believe I've figured something out. 561 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,275 You folks have a water problem! 562 00:45:11,277 --> 00:45:13,913 Nowjust pay attention, everybody. I'm trying to make a point here. 563 00:45:14,140 --> 00:45:16,783 Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. 564 00:45:16,883 --> 00:45:19,686 Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? 565 00:45:22,856 --> 00:45:24,240 And you! 566 00:45:24,357 --> 00:45:27,930 You're just as dried up and parched as a jackrabbit in July. 567 00:45:27,193 --> 00:45:30,263 So you belly on up and take you a double shot! 568 00:45:31,464 --> 00:45:33,366 Stay with me. 569 00:45:34,234 --> 00:45:38,104 What do you think happens then? Why we'd all be drinking! 570 00:45:38,805 --> 00:45:41,741 And before you know it, there wouldn't be any more water. 571 00:45:41,808 --> 00:45:43,810 And then where would we be? 572 00:45:45,145 --> 00:45:46,913 We'd be thirsty. 573 00:45:47,447 --> 00:45:49,149 Real thirsty. 574 00:45:49,582 --> 00:45:52,850 We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals! 575 00:45:54,721 --> 00:45:59,592 Now look here. We have got six days of water. 576 00:46:04,597 --> 00:46:07,300 We have got five days... 577 00:46:08,668 --> 00:46:12,439 As long as we've got water, we've got ourselves a town. 578 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,575 Sheriff Rango is right. 579 00:46:15,642 --> 00:46:19,279 As long as we have this water, we have some hope. 580 00:46:19,346 --> 00:46:21,147 And you can all take it from me. 581 00:46:21,247 --> 00:46:24,684 My 1 00% full-time employment from this moment on 582 00:46:24,784 --> 00:46:28,755 will be to protect our precious natural resource. 583 00:46:28,822 --> 00:46:32,659 Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango. 584 00:46:45,538 --> 00:46:46,806 Evening, ladies. 585 00:46:46,873 --> 00:46:48,675 Evening, Sheriff. 586 00:46:48,775 --> 00:46:50,877 And don't you come back! 587 00:46:50,977 --> 00:46:54,547 Hold on there, Gordy. You get back in there and you assert yourself, 588 00:46:54,647 --> 00:46:57,884 and I think you'll find the people of this here town to be surprisingly hospitable. 589 00:46:57,984 --> 00:46:59,285 Thank you, Sheriff. 590 00:46:59,352 --> 00:47:01,221 What? Not you again! 591 00:47:02,689 --> 00:47:04,491 I stand corrected. 592 00:47:10,563 --> 00:47:13,133 -This ain't the bank. -I told you, Jedidiah! 593 00:47:13,199 --> 00:47:14,501 Hold it right there! 594 00:47:14,567 --> 00:47:15,869 -Who's that? -It's the Sheriff! 595 00:47:15,969 --> 00:47:17,637 Get them hands up where I can see them! 596 00:47:18,338 --> 00:47:20,407 Just as I suspected. 597 00:47:20,507 --> 00:47:23,243 Prospecting without the authorised equipment. Don't move a muscle. 598 00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:25,545 Prospecting? 599 00:47:29,649 --> 00:47:32,385 Now, you got your shovel, pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah, 600 00:47:32,485 --> 00:47:35,722 assorted snacks, some puzzle books and you're gonna need a permit. 601 00:47:35,822 --> 00:47:37,524 -Loofah. -Ezekiel, Jedidiah! 602 00:47:37,590 --> 00:47:39,859 What the Sam Hill's going on up there? 603 00:47:39,926 --> 00:47:43,530 I've had polyps removed smarter than the two of you! 604 00:47:43,997 --> 00:47:46,199 Hell's fire, this ain't the bank! 605 00:47:46,332 --> 00:47:49,903 Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here, helping us out. 606 00:47:50,300 --> 00:47:52,739 Gonna give us a permit for prospecting. 607 00:47:52,839 --> 00:47:55,408 That's right, sir. Just doing my duty. 608 00:47:56,176 --> 00:47:58,244 The lonely constable on his rounds, 609 00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:00,680 keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance. 610 00:48:01,214 --> 00:48:03,216 Does he look like he sounds? 611 00:48:04,684 --> 00:48:08,455 Well, Sheriff, if we was to hit the mother lode, 612 00:48:08,555 --> 00:48:10,690 being prospectors and such, 613 00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:13,927 where would we deposit said annuity? 614 00:48:14,270 --> 00:48:15,962 Here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have 615 00:48:16,620 --> 00:48:18,898 the finest financial institution this side of the Missouri. 616 00:48:20,633 --> 00:48:23,236 Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. 617 00:48:24,971 --> 00:48:26,973 Much obliged. 618 00:48:27,207 --> 00:48:30,760 The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! 619 00:48:30,143 --> 00:48:32,612 Good Lord, the bank's been robbed! 620 00:48:32,712 --> 00:48:34,114 What's going on? 621 00:48:34,214 --> 00:48:36,416 -It's gone! The water's all gone! -What'd he say? 622 00:48:36,483 --> 00:48:37,784 He said the bank's been robbed! 623 00:48:38,718 --> 00:48:41,554 Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me! 624 00:48:42,155 --> 00:48:46,793 The bank's been robbed, the town is dry "We'll die of thirst," the people cry 625 00:48:46,893 --> 00:48:51,431 He promised to protect the vault The water's gone, it's all his fault 626 00:48:52,980 --> 00:48:54,670 All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. 627 00:48:54,134 --> 00:48:55,468 This is a crime scene now. 628 00:48:55,568 --> 00:48:58,672 Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibres, scan for DNA. 629 00:48:58,772 --> 00:49:01,474 I want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. 630 00:49:01,574 --> 00:49:02,909 And don't mix up the two. 631 00:49:02,976 --> 00:49:04,144 What's this? 632 00:49:04,244 --> 00:49:05,912 "Prospecting Permit." 633 00:49:05,979 --> 00:49:07,781 I'll take that. Material evidence. 634 00:49:07,847 --> 00:49:09,416 What are we gonna do now, Sheriff? 635 00:49:09,482 --> 00:49:12,185 -We need that water. -We're all going to die! 636 00:49:12,285 --> 00:49:15,922 My friends, we all know what we have to do now. 637 00:49:15,989 --> 00:49:19,793 That's right. We all know what we have to do now. 638 00:49:19,859 --> 00:49:21,928 -And that would be? -Form a posse. 639 00:49:21,995 --> 00:49:23,863 Form a possum! 640 00:49:26,132 --> 00:49:27,634 A posse. 641 00:49:29,350 --> 00:49:32,138 Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. 642 00:49:32,706 --> 00:49:37,644 First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind? 643 00:49:40,113 --> 00:49:41,715 All right, then. 644 00:49:41,815 --> 00:49:43,350 What do we do now, Sheriff? 645 00:49:43,450 --> 00:49:46,152 Now we ride! 646 00:49:59,132 --> 00:50:01,534 Where are we going? 647 00:50:01,634 --> 00:50:02,869 What? 648 00:50:02,969 --> 00:50:04,804 Where are we going? 649 00:50:12,145 --> 00:50:15,982 Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, 650 00:50:16,490 --> 00:50:18,885 utilising your well-developed Injun-uity, no offence taken. 651 00:50:18,985 --> 00:50:20,220 So which way do you think they went? 652 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,889 You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something? 653 00:50:26,593 --> 00:50:28,495 Oh, you're good. 654 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:32,766 I'm depending on you, Spoons. 655 00:50:32,866 --> 00:50:35,535 You got a little tobaccy in the beard there. 656 00:50:35,602 --> 00:50:38,571 Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. 657 00:50:38,672 --> 00:50:41,408 Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother? 658 00:50:41,508 --> 00:50:42,776 I'm an amphibian. 659 00:50:42,876 --> 00:50:44,411 Ain't no shame in that. 660 00:50:47,681 --> 00:50:50,183 You sure you're fit for duty there, soldier? 661 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:53,887 Well, you got a little something in your eye there. 662 00:50:54,621 --> 00:50:58,425 Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary. 663 00:50:59,426 --> 00:51:02,362 Well, I'm glad to hear it's not contagious. 664 00:51:03,290 --> 00:51:06,700 Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute! A posse ain't no place for a... 665 00:51:07,434 --> 00:51:08,768 Never mind. 666 00:51:08,868 --> 00:51:10,804 Hold on there, little sister. 667 00:51:10,904 --> 00:51:13,606 Someone's gonna have to look after the town while I'm gone. 668 00:51:15,442 --> 00:51:16,876 Can I gut-shoot someone? 669 00:51:18,211 --> 00:51:20,246 Let's put a pin in that. 670 00:51:20,747 --> 00:51:23,717 Sheriff, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you? 671 00:51:24,584 --> 00:51:26,860 Count on it, little sister. 672 00:51:29,155 --> 00:51:32,392 -Which way do we go, Sheriff? -There's tunnels everywhere. 673 00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:34,600 Whole town's perforated with them. 674 00:51:34,127 --> 00:51:37,664 She got more holes in her than a painted lady on a porcupine. 675 00:51:37,797 --> 00:51:40,734 Hey, my daddy took me to her place. 676 00:51:41,401 --> 00:51:43,103 Not what I expected. 677 00:51:43,937 --> 00:51:46,840 How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway? 678 00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:49,750 Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here. 679 00:51:49,142 --> 00:51:51,678 Sheriff! Over here! 680 00:51:55,150 --> 00:51:56,750 -Would you look at that? -Like seeing the face of God. 681 00:51:58,118 --> 00:51:59,586 Amen, brother. 682 00:51:59,652 --> 00:52:02,522 I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday. 683 00:52:02,622 --> 00:52:04,624 Those were the halcyon days. 684 00:52:04,691 --> 00:52:06,960 Must be a reason she quit on us. 685 00:52:07,260 --> 00:52:10,797 Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water. 686 00:52:10,864 --> 00:52:12,665 What do you say, Sheriff? 687 00:52:13,666 --> 00:52:16,670 Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. 688 00:52:16,770 --> 00:52:19,172 I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin 689 00:52:19,272 --> 00:52:21,775 and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum. 690 00:52:21,841 --> 00:52:24,177 -What'd he say? -I think he said follow the pipe. 691 00:52:24,277 --> 00:52:26,680 -He said follow the pipe. -He said follow the pipe. 692 00:52:31,217 --> 00:52:33,153 Sure is humid down here. 693 00:52:33,219 --> 00:52:36,289 Yeah, it's activating my piles. 694 00:52:36,356 --> 00:52:38,124 I had a goitre removed once. 695 00:52:38,191 --> 00:52:41,327 Looked like Tony Bennett stepping out of the shower. 696 00:52:41,394 --> 00:52:44,230 Shoot, I put that on a tortilla. 697 00:52:55,508 --> 00:52:59,846 Whatever you do, do not look down. 698 00:53:02,349 --> 00:53:05,485 -What is this place? -It's an aquifer. 699 00:53:07,354 --> 00:53:08,855 What's an aquifer? 700 00:53:08,922 --> 00:53:10,924 Well, it's for aqua. 701 00:53:11,925 --> 00:53:13,827 Well, it's empty now. 702 00:53:32,712 --> 00:53:34,681 That's a big one. 703 00:53:37,283 --> 00:53:39,919 -It's the end of the line. -Don't go no further. 704 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:43,790 Well, now that there is a pipe. It's got to be connected to something. 705 00:53:43,890 --> 00:53:46,526 You talk too much. Why don't you put a cork in it? 706 00:53:46,593 --> 00:53:48,962 Why don't you put a cork... Tell you where the sun don't shine. 707 00:53:49,620 --> 00:53:50,563 Your mama did. I'll cook her right up. 708 00:53:50,630 --> 00:53:52,198 You two just don't get it, do you? 709 00:53:52,265 --> 00:53:55,935 Someone or something is messing with our hydration 710 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,971 and that pipe has got something to do with it. 711 00:53:58,710 --> 00:53:59,906 I thought we was following bank robbers! 712 00:53:59,973 --> 00:54:02,275 We're experiencing a paradigm shift. 713 00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:04,978 I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't shut up! 714 00:54:05,780 --> 00:54:06,379 Go ahead and try! 715 00:54:08,248 --> 00:54:11,510 Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling. You're affecting my cogitation. 716 00:54:13,420 --> 00:54:16,423 Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches. 717 00:54:22,162 --> 00:54:23,229 Sure enough. 718 00:54:23,797 --> 00:54:25,565 Smart thinking there, feller. 719 00:54:25,632 --> 00:54:28,334 -Start climbing. -Get your foot out of my face! 720 00:54:28,435 --> 00:54:29,969 Not bad, huh, Beans? 721 00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:32,472 You keep thinking like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire. 722 00:54:32,572 --> 00:54:35,800 Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... 723 00:54:35,842 --> 00:54:37,177 Hot, hot! Burn. 724 00:54:48,588 --> 00:54:51,958 Poor things. All they wanted was a little water. 725 00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:55,495 Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well. 726 00:54:55,595 --> 00:54:57,297 -Hey, look what I found! -What you got there? 727 00:54:57,364 --> 00:55:00,300 -I saw that first! -Hey, that's mine! 728 00:55:00,367 --> 00:55:01,968 Give me that! 729 00:55:02,350 --> 00:55:04,370 It's empty anyway. 730 00:55:04,137 --> 00:55:05,605 I knew that. 731 00:55:05,672 --> 00:55:06,973 Where'd you find that? 732 00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,876 Sheriff! You're going to want to see this! 733 00:55:13,546 --> 00:55:15,281 It's Mr Merrimack from the bank. 734 00:55:15,348 --> 00:55:16,783 What's he doing here? 735 00:55:16,850 --> 00:55:18,385 -Everybody stand back. -All right, let me see. 736 00:55:18,485 --> 00:55:20,987 Looks like them varmints shot him in the back. 737 00:55:21,540 --> 00:55:25,225 No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned! 738 00:55:25,325 --> 00:55:27,994 -Drowned? -In the middle of the desert? 739 00:55:28,610 --> 00:55:29,829 What a way to go. 740 00:55:31,498 --> 00:55:35,235 Well, now, whose boot prints are those? 741 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:42,542 That's interesting. The ground's still wet. 742 00:55:42,809 --> 00:55:44,644 I suppose we should bury him. 743 00:55:44,711 --> 00:55:47,313 I don't know. Birds got to eat, too. 744 00:55:47,380 --> 00:55:48,682 Circle of life! 745 00:55:48,748 --> 00:55:49,816 Sheriff. 746 00:55:49,883 --> 00:55:51,418 Will you say a few words? 747 00:55:52,819 --> 00:55:54,721 Yeah. Yeah. 748 00:55:57,190 --> 00:55:58,491 Dearly beloved. 749 00:55:58,558 --> 00:56:03,329 We are gathered here today to honour this man. 750 00:56:03,930 --> 00:56:05,165 Mr Merrimack, 751 00:56:05,565 --> 00:56:07,167 you have the right to remain silent. 752 00:56:07,367 --> 00:56:09,569 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 753 00:56:09,669 --> 00:56:10,704 Amen. 754 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:12,380 -Amen. -Amen. 755 00:56:12,238 --> 00:56:15,750 Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing? 756 00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,715 I see you're consulting with the spirits. 757 00:56:21,781 --> 00:56:25,118 No, I'm moulting. Means I'm ready to mate. 758 00:56:26,619 --> 00:56:28,188 I'll keep that in mind. 759 00:56:28,855 --> 00:56:29,956 Cactus fruit. 760 00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,859 Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. 761 00:56:32,926 --> 00:56:34,728 I believe your people use it as seasoning 762 00:56:34,794 --> 00:56:36,262 when preparing your native dishes. 763 00:56:36,363 --> 00:56:38,198 Also natural laxative. 764 00:56:39,866 --> 00:56:40,934 Pick up trail. 765 00:56:41,340 --> 00:56:44,471 Three men heading west. One blind, one with 766 00:56:46,106 --> 00:56:48,541 enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle. 767 00:56:48,608 --> 00:56:51,911 -What did he say? -They're riding sidesaddle. 768 00:56:51,978 --> 00:56:53,413 -We're whispering. -What'd he say? 769 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:54,614 Someone's got a bad valve. 770 00:56:54,714 --> 00:56:57,650 All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up? 771 00:56:58,618 --> 00:56:59,753 Awkward. 772 00:57:01,870 --> 00:57:04,391 What exactly are we going to do now? 773 00:57:04,991 --> 00:57:07,394 Now we ride! 774 00:57:12,232 --> 00:57:15,935 That means we're riding now! This moment. 775 00:57:58,945 --> 00:58:01,348 Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. 776 00:58:01,448 --> 00:58:03,616 I could eat them all night long. 777 00:58:05,385 --> 00:58:08,621 Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast. 778 00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:13,460 This one time, I coughed up an entire Dalmatian. 779 00:58:13,526 --> 00:58:17,364 That ain't nothing. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. 780 00:58:18,365 --> 00:58:20,333 They started looking at me weird. 781 00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:23,703 I remember them. They was quite friendly. 782 00:58:23,803 --> 00:58:27,340 I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. 783 00:58:30,410 --> 00:58:33,130 You might want to get that looked at. 784 00:58:34,347 --> 00:58:36,249 Pass the beans, Beans. 785 00:58:36,349 --> 00:58:38,510 -Sheriff? -No, thanks. 786 00:58:38,151 --> 00:58:42,555 Mr Rango? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West? 787 00:58:43,356 --> 00:58:46,493 -Yeah, tell us about that. -Is it true what they say? 788 00:58:46,559 --> 00:58:50,230 Yes, the Spirit of the West! 789 00:58:50,330 --> 00:58:52,732 The eternally unattainable ideal. 790 00:58:53,166 --> 00:58:55,769 They say he rides in an alabaster carriage 791 00:58:55,869 --> 00:58:57,437 with golden guardians to protect him. 792 00:58:58,571 --> 00:59:01,508 But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest! 793 00:59:02,242 --> 00:59:03,677 And have made it 794 00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:06,120 to the other side. 795 00:59:10,283 --> 00:59:11,551 The other side of what? 796 00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:13,586 It's a metaphor. 797 00:59:13,687 --> 00:59:14,721 My eye! 798 00:59:14,788 --> 00:59:16,356 That's gonna heal right up. 799 00:59:16,423 --> 00:59:20,427 Sheriff? What are you going to do about Rattlesnake Jake? 800 00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:22,280 What? Where? 801 00:59:23,763 --> 00:59:27,734 Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice. 802 00:59:28,768 --> 00:59:30,103 Yeah. 803 00:59:30,203 --> 00:59:32,205 Jake. You mean my brother. 804 00:59:32,272 --> 00:59:34,140 -Your brother? -That's what I said! 805 00:59:34,941 --> 00:59:37,544 But he's a snake and you're a lizard. 806 00:59:37,944 --> 00:59:40,413 Well, Momma had an active social life. 807 00:59:41,815 --> 00:59:42,949 Did he ever bite you? 808 00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:46,453 Sure enough did. Look at that baby. Go ahead, you can touch it. 809 00:59:46,553 --> 00:59:50,457 That's interesting. That there's a belly button. 810 00:59:50,590 --> 00:59:52,125 Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. 811 00:59:52,225 --> 00:59:54,127 Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang. 812 00:59:54,227 --> 00:59:56,162 Is it true he's only scared of them hawks? 813 00:59:56,262 --> 00:59:59,899 Them's what we call his natural predator. 814 01:00:01,634 --> 01:00:04,804 All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge! 815 01:00:04,904 --> 01:00:06,906 I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir. 816 01:00:06,973 --> 01:00:10,143 Don't you all worry about a thing. Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water 817 01:00:10,243 --> 01:00:12,245 and return to a hero's welcome. 818 01:00:13,346 --> 01:00:15,915 Friends, before we bunk down 819 01:00:15,982 --> 01:00:18,451 I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, 820 01:00:18,518 --> 01:00:21,287 say a few words to the Spirit of the West. 821 01:00:21,354 --> 01:00:22,989 That's a good idea. 822 01:00:25,125 --> 01:00:28,128 Ain't always spoken rightly to you, Spirit of the West. 823 01:00:28,495 --> 01:00:34,134 But tonight I want to thank you for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. 824 01:00:35,350 --> 01:00:36,803 It's a hard life we got. 825 01:00:36,870 --> 01:00:39,806 Sometimes I don't know how we're gonna make it. 826 01:00:40,273 --> 01:00:43,710 But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. 827 01:00:44,711 --> 01:00:47,614 We needed a brave man and you sent us one. 828 01:00:48,715 --> 01:00:51,785 Nice to have someone to believe in again. 829 01:00:51,851 --> 01:00:55,488 Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. 830 01:00:56,456 --> 01:00:58,324 -Amen. -Amen. 831 01:01:30,156 --> 01:01:31,991 Just checking. 832 01:01:34,561 --> 01:01:37,330 -It's a little cold tonight. -Thank you. 833 01:01:39,833 --> 01:01:42,669 You ever feel like those things are looking at you? 834 01:01:42,836 --> 01:01:44,504 That's a Spanish dagger. 835 01:01:44,604 --> 01:01:47,407 But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus. 836 01:01:47,507 --> 01:01:48,575 Walking? 837 01:01:48,675 --> 01:01:52,579 There's an old legend they actually walk across the desert to find water. 838 01:01:52,679 --> 01:01:56,416 When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. 839 01:01:56,516 --> 01:02:00,587 I thought if I could follow them, they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. 840 01:02:00,687 --> 01:02:04,357 Someplace with enough water for everyone. 841 01:02:05,258 --> 01:02:09,796 Night after night, I watched them. I never saw them move. 842 01:02:10,697 --> 01:02:11,798 But you're still watching. 843 01:02:12,365 --> 01:02:14,934 Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful? 844 01:02:15,702 --> 01:02:18,705 We'll find the water, Beans. I promise you. 845 01:02:22,108 --> 01:02:24,477 That's such a lonely sound. 846 01:02:25,311 --> 01:02:27,280 You ever get lonely? 847 01:02:27,380 --> 01:02:28,782 Sometimes. 848 01:02:28,882 --> 01:02:33,386 I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. 849 01:02:33,887 --> 01:02:36,890 -I never made friends easy like that. -No? 850 01:02:37,657 --> 01:02:40,126 No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, 851 01:02:40,226 --> 01:02:42,962 sort of like being sealed up in a little box. 852 01:02:43,630 --> 01:02:46,466 Don't really see a lot of folks. 853 01:02:46,566 --> 01:02:48,802 I wouldn't know what that's like. 854 01:02:49,569 --> 01:02:52,172 There someone special in your life, Rango? 855 01:02:52,739 --> 01:02:55,642 There used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. 856 01:02:55,742 --> 01:02:57,744 Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. 857 01:02:57,844 --> 01:03:00,914 You know, it's an awful solitary existence out there on the prairie. 858 01:03:01,140 --> 01:03:03,249 Riding the ranges and the suchlike. 859 01:03:04,984 --> 01:03:09,155 Beans? 860 01:03:26,272 --> 01:03:30,343 I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna whup you like a red-headed stepchild! 861 01:03:30,443 --> 01:03:31,778 Choleric varmints, ain't they? 862 01:03:31,878 --> 01:03:34,848 Dysfunctional family. Need intervention. 863 01:03:35,949 --> 01:03:37,384 What's that coming? 864 01:03:39,452 --> 01:03:40,887 It's the water. 865 01:03:42,956 --> 01:03:46,793 I have a plan, and each and every one of you has a part to play. 866 01:03:46,893 --> 01:03:48,128 What do I do? 867 01:03:48,228 --> 01:03:50,300 Spoons, you got the most important job of all. 868 01:03:50,296 --> 01:03:52,365 You stay up here on the ridge, and if anything goes wrong, 869 01:03:52,465 --> 01:03:55,301 you give the signal. 870 01:04:06,312 --> 01:04:09,649 Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing? 871 01:04:09,749 --> 01:04:12,385 -He got it! -Hallelujah! 872 01:04:12,485 --> 01:04:14,154 -He found the water! -You did it, son. 873 01:04:14,254 --> 01:04:15,321 Well, actually... 874 01:04:15,388 --> 01:04:18,224 Why can't you be all brainy like your brother? 875 01:04:18,324 --> 01:04:20,727 Pappy, about that water. There's something I gots to tell you. 876 01:04:20,827 --> 01:04:22,662 Hush up, now. Somebody's coming. 877 01:04:25,980 --> 01:04:28,501 Good sirs, gracious good afternoon to thee and thee and thee. 878 01:04:28,601 --> 01:04:30,837 May I present Madame Lupone's 879 01:04:30,904 --> 01:04:33,340 Terpsichorean Troupe of Travelling Thespians! 880 01:04:35,175 --> 01:04:37,344 -What is that? -I think they's thespians. 881 01:04:37,410 --> 01:04:40,513 Thespians? That's illegal in seven states! 882 01:04:40,613 --> 01:04:44,417 The stage is set. The princess prepares to take her own life. 883 01:04:44,517 --> 01:04:46,119 I yearn for love. 884 01:04:47,870 --> 01:04:49,122 Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate. 885 01:04:51,191 --> 01:04:52,926 Stands watch at the castle gate... 886 01:04:54,940 --> 01:04:56,960 Hark! Who goes there? 887 01:04:56,196 --> 01:04:58,310 This plot is highly predictable. 888 01:04:58,980 --> 01:04:59,432 Quiet! This is my favourite part. 889 01:04:59,532 --> 01:05:02,202 Arriving to great fanfare 'twas her aged father, 890 01:05:05,772 --> 01:05:07,640 strucketh by Cupid. 891 01:05:08,942 --> 01:05:12,450 Prithee, unhand my fair daughter 892 01:05:12,145 --> 01:05:13,813 and reach for the... 893 01:05:16,449 --> 01:05:17,984 -Line? -"Reach for the sky!" 894 01:05:20,553 --> 01:05:22,122 What was that? 895 01:05:22,222 --> 01:05:24,224 Must be that immersive theatre. 896 01:05:24,324 --> 01:05:25,558 We got you surrounded! 897 01:05:25,658 --> 01:05:29,562 You and your entire family get your hands up where I can see them. 898 01:05:29,629 --> 01:05:32,650 My entire family? 899 01:05:36,736 --> 01:05:40,974 Grits and spit and collard greens 900 01:05:41,740 --> 01:05:45,478 Waffle chitlins, monkey brains 901 01:05:45,578 --> 01:05:49,416 Refried bones and booger blood 902 01:05:49,482 --> 01:05:52,852 Pickled eggs and flaps of mud 903 01:05:56,189 --> 01:05:58,324 It's a full house. 904 01:05:58,425 --> 01:06:01,695 Looks like we're gonna have ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. 905 01:06:02,595 --> 01:06:06,599 I'll have you know, you're not looking at our entire contingent. 906 01:06:13,173 --> 01:06:15,608 What's that supposed to be? 907 01:06:15,709 --> 01:06:17,110 That's the signal. 908 01:06:17,210 --> 01:06:20,847 That's the signal! Something must have gone wrong! 909 01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:28,621 So something's supposed to happen? 910 01:06:28,722 --> 01:06:32,192 I am open to suggestions. 911 01:06:40,660 --> 01:06:41,634 Run! 912 01:06:47,807 --> 01:06:49,420 Get on the wagon! 913 01:06:55,810 --> 01:06:57,817 Should we have ourselves some sport, chill'ens? 914 01:06:58,752 --> 01:07:00,720 I likes it when they run. 915 01:07:00,820 --> 01:07:03,823 Maybelle, give the holler! 916 01:07:10,430 --> 01:07:11,731 Looks like we made it! 917 01:07:11,831 --> 01:07:13,333 That audience was quite responsive. 918 01:07:13,433 --> 01:07:16,269 Yeah, well, I think that chromosome pool is about dried up. 919 01:07:43,530 --> 01:07:44,931 We got bats! 920 01:07:45,865 --> 01:07:47,634 Here! You drive. 921 01:07:55,642 --> 01:07:58,440 Looks like there's gonna be soup tonight! 922 01:07:58,478 --> 01:08:00,613 Come on, let's get some! 923 01:08:09,956 --> 01:08:13,226 What in tarnation? Don't shoot the water! 924 01:08:13,326 --> 01:08:16,796 Jedidiah! It's time for the Alabama squeeze box! 925 01:08:16,896 --> 01:08:18,331 Okay, Pa! 926 01:08:25,305 --> 01:08:27,240 I am sensing hostility. 927 01:08:27,307 --> 01:08:28,508 Incoming! 928 01:08:34,314 --> 01:08:35,582 Hello! 929 01:08:35,648 --> 01:08:36,850 Goodbye! 930 01:08:46,659 --> 01:08:49,290 Lasso that swine! 931 01:09:09,382 --> 01:09:11,284 I suggest we take evasive action! 932 01:09:11,351 --> 01:09:13,286 I suggest you shut up and shoot! 933 01:09:13,386 --> 01:09:15,955 -What happened to the Sheriff? -He had a previous engagement! 934 01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,725 Boseefus, give them some gumbo now! 935 01:09:25,398 --> 01:09:28,680 What was that? Go check it out! 936 01:09:29,369 --> 01:09:31,710 What is it? Is there a problem? 937 01:09:33,473 --> 01:09:34,908 You could call it that. 938 01:10:23,356 --> 01:10:24,457 Headache. 939 01:10:27,127 --> 01:10:29,262 Is that all you got? 940 01:10:47,147 --> 01:10:49,382 That wasn't altogether unpleasant! 941 01:10:50,984 --> 01:10:52,520 Eat lead! 942 01:11:02,729 --> 01:11:04,297 Here, hold these. 943 01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:16,843 Get your hands off me! 944 01:11:21,915 --> 01:11:23,350 Oh, I'm sorry. 945 01:11:32,158 --> 01:11:33,259 Jump! 946 01:11:56,149 --> 01:11:57,717 It's impossible. 947 01:11:58,151 --> 01:12:01,540 It can't be. It's empty. 948 01:12:01,154 --> 01:12:02,856 There's no water! 949 01:12:02,956 --> 01:12:06,393 No water? Then what the hell we been fighting for? 950 01:12:06,493 --> 01:12:10,730 Sir, you have defiled and desecrated the very sustenance of our livelihood! 951 01:12:10,830 --> 01:12:13,466 I think that there fella in the purty dress is the Sheriff. 952 01:12:13,566 --> 01:12:16,136 That's the same fellow what give us a prospecting permit? 953 01:12:16,236 --> 01:12:19,720 -A what? -Irrelevant! Obfuscation. 954 01:12:19,172 --> 01:12:21,174 You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery 955 01:12:21,307 --> 01:12:23,309 and the murder of our beloved financial advisor 956 01:12:23,410 --> 01:12:26,880 Johannes Merrimack the Third, AKA, Fluffy Joe. 957 01:12:26,980 --> 01:12:28,548 Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. 958 01:12:28,648 --> 01:12:31,170 We done tunnelled into that vault, but there weren't nothing in it. 959 01:12:31,151 --> 01:12:33,530 Somebody done robbed that bank before we robbed it. 960 01:12:33,153 --> 01:12:34,888 Then where'd you get this here jug? 961 01:12:34,988 --> 01:12:36,990 That's what I been trying to tell you, Pappy. 962 01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:38,258 I found it in the desert. 963 01:12:38,358 --> 01:12:41,594 Then why in tarnation did you bring it here? 964 01:12:41,695 --> 01:12:45,665 Hold on! You're saying this here jug was empty when you found it? 965 01:12:45,765 --> 01:12:47,000 That's right. 966 01:12:47,100 --> 01:12:48,401 I don't believe a word of it. 967 01:12:48,501 --> 01:12:50,360 -Let's hang them, Sheriff! -String them up! 968 01:12:50,170 --> 01:12:51,604 Who'd dump water in the desert? 969 01:12:52,172 --> 01:12:53,773 Wouldn't be the first time. 970 01:12:54,274 --> 01:12:57,430 It's a puzzle! It's like a big old mammogram! 971 01:12:57,177 --> 01:12:59,120 What's going on, Sheriff? 972 01:12:59,112 --> 01:13:00,447 I don't know. 973 01:13:00,547 --> 01:13:04,584 But I'm going to strip away this mystery and expose its private parts. 974 01:13:04,684 --> 01:13:06,953 You and your kin are coming with me. 975 01:13:11,458 --> 01:13:12,692 They're coming! 976 01:13:12,792 --> 01:13:14,527 Here they come! 977 01:13:15,729 --> 01:13:18,198 Looks like they got them robbers. 978 01:13:40,720 --> 01:13:42,155 Where's the water? 979 01:13:45,225 --> 01:13:47,160 There weren't no water. 980 01:14:01,274 --> 01:14:03,900 Where is he going? 981 01:14:04,770 --> 01:14:06,579 He's going to see the Mayor. 982 01:14:08,682 --> 01:14:10,650 He's got to be pleased with that. 983 01:14:10,750 --> 01:14:12,585 That's a good one, boss! 984 01:14:22,362 --> 01:14:23,463 That's interesting. 985 01:14:23,596 --> 01:14:26,433 I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango, 986 01:14:26,533 --> 01:14:29,836 but there's a certain protocol to this game, you understand. 987 01:14:29,936 --> 01:14:32,272 I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol. 988 01:14:32,372 --> 01:14:35,308 Well, that's good, 'cause you got a few questions to answer 989 01:14:35,442 --> 01:14:37,711 and I've got my own protocol. 990 01:14:41,715 --> 01:14:44,617 But why would anyone dump water in the blooming desert? 991 01:14:44,718 --> 01:14:48,722 It does seem a bit naïve, taking the word of admitted bank robbers. 992 01:14:48,822 --> 01:14:52,459 Besides, once they hang, yourjob is done. 993 01:14:52,559 --> 01:14:54,270 -Bravo! -Job well done. 994 01:14:54,127 --> 01:14:57,630 But what if somebody did rob the bank before they got there? 995 01:14:57,163 --> 01:14:59,332 And who would do that, Mr Rango? 996 01:14:59,466 --> 01:15:01,668 I was hoping you could tell me. 997 01:15:01,801 --> 01:15:04,738 That sounds marginally near to an accusation. 998 01:15:04,838 --> 01:15:06,840 Take it any way you like. 999 01:15:12,178 --> 01:15:15,815 Something you said keeps rattling around in my frontal lobe. 1000 01:15:15,915 --> 01:15:17,830 What's that? 1001 01:15:17,751 --> 01:15:21,488 "Control the water and you control everything." 1002 01:15:22,880 --> 01:15:24,157 Come now, Mr Rango. 1003 01:15:24,257 --> 01:15:27,160 You attribute divine power to me. 1004 01:15:27,260 --> 01:15:30,430 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1005 01:15:32,932 --> 01:15:36,360 You've obviously mastered this game. 1006 01:15:36,169 --> 01:15:39,572 Well, I've been playing it for many years, sir. 1007 01:15:39,673 --> 01:15:42,842 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1008 01:15:42,942 --> 01:15:45,578 I watched the march of progress, 1009 01:15:45,679 --> 01:15:48,181 and I learned a thing or two. 1010 01:15:48,682 --> 01:15:51,851 Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, 1011 01:15:51,951 --> 01:15:55,789 begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. 1012 01:15:56,456 --> 01:15:57,957 Look out there, son. 1013 01:15:58,892 --> 01:16:01,294 You can almost see time passing. 1014 01:16:04,564 --> 01:16:06,599 What are you building out here? 1015 01:16:06,700 --> 01:16:10,360 The future, Mr Rango, the future. 1016 01:16:10,136 --> 01:16:13,807 One day soon, all this is going to fade into myth, 1017 01:16:13,907 --> 01:16:16,743 the frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. 1018 01:16:16,876 --> 01:16:19,245 There's just no place for them any more. 1019 01:16:19,379 --> 01:16:22,649 -We're civilised now. -That's right, civilised. 1020 01:16:23,483 --> 01:16:25,850 That's what the future holds. 1021 01:16:25,218 --> 01:16:28,555 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1022 01:16:28,922 --> 01:16:32,792 Is that what happened to Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind? 1023 01:16:32,892 --> 01:16:37,564 Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget you're just one little lizard. 1024 01:16:37,897 --> 01:16:41,735 You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts. 1025 01:16:44,404 --> 01:16:47,474 Our new sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, 1026 01:16:47,574 --> 01:16:49,976 he's actually starting to believe it. 1027 01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:52,512 Call in Rattlesnake Jake. 1028 01:16:52,612 --> 01:16:55,281 But Jake's the Grim Reaper. 1029 01:16:55,415 --> 01:16:57,751 He never leaves without taking a blooming soul. 1030 01:16:57,851 --> 01:16:59,850 Do it! 1031 01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:17,804 Now be still. You gotta look presentable to meet your maker. 1032 01:17:23,610 --> 01:17:26,980 Death has arrived 1033 01:17:31,451 --> 01:17:35,822 How will the hero survive? 1034 01:17:39,626 --> 01:17:42,729 The Mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, 1035 01:17:42,829 --> 01:17:44,698 except for your ranch, Miss Beans. 1036 01:17:44,798 --> 01:17:48,635 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1037 01:17:48,735 --> 01:17:51,538 Unless he controls the water. 1038 01:17:51,638 --> 01:17:53,506 Like a monkey's bladder! 1039 01:17:53,640 --> 01:17:55,875 Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land. 1040 01:17:56,142 --> 01:17:58,780 But how does he control the water? 1041 01:17:59,412 --> 01:18:02,549 Well, you gotta spend some time and train them. 1042 01:18:02,649 --> 01:18:05,752 'Cause you know monkeys, when they do go, you rub their nose in it. 1043 01:18:05,985 --> 01:18:07,987 Sheriff, we got a problem. 1044 01:18:14,694 --> 01:18:18,980 Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary. 1045 01:18:21,668 --> 01:18:24,871 -Hang him till his head turns blue! -Give us them robbers! 1046 01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:27,407 Hold on! Calm down, everyone! Let me talk! 1047 01:18:27,507 --> 01:18:29,776 -Nail them to the courthouse! -Now, calm down, everybody. 1048 01:18:29,876 --> 01:18:32,545 Get them out here so we can cut off their giblets! 1049 01:18:33,179 --> 01:18:34,748 You, too, Spoons? 1050 01:18:34,848 --> 01:18:38,218 They done taken that water. They taken everything we got! 1051 01:18:38,351 --> 01:18:41,287 No one's stringing anyone up. Not while I'm sheriff. 1052 01:18:41,388 --> 01:18:42,622 But this is all his fault! 1053 01:18:42,722 --> 01:18:45,910 You said you's gonna bring the water back. 1054 01:18:45,191 --> 01:18:47,727 It's just, we got no hope without that water. 1055 01:18:47,861 --> 01:18:49,729 We got nothing left to believe in. 1056 01:18:50,397 --> 01:18:51,965 You see that sign up there? 1057 01:18:52,699 --> 01:18:54,901 As long as that sign says "Sheriff," 1058 01:18:55,350 --> 01:18:57,370 you can believe that there's law and order in this town. 1059 01:18:57,470 --> 01:19:01,541 But without law and order, ruminate on that. Oh, yeah. 1060 01:19:01,641 --> 01:19:04,811 Starts out slow, like a fungus. 1061 01:19:04,911 --> 01:19:07,580 Somebody says a cross word. Accusations start flying. 1062 01:19:07,714 --> 01:19:10,483 Neighbour turns on neighbour. Pretty soon, we're eating our children! 1063 01:19:10,583 --> 01:19:11,985 And then dogs and cats are getting together 1064 01:19:12,850 --> 01:19:14,754 to create all sorts of unnatural mutant aberrations! 1065 01:19:15,755 --> 01:19:19,392 So, you want something to believe in, Spoons? 1066 01:19:19,759 --> 01:19:21,610 Believe in me. 1067 01:19:22,595 --> 01:19:24,597 Believe in that there sign. 1068 01:19:25,565 --> 01:19:29,690 For as long as it hangs there, we got hope. 1069 01:19:54,461 --> 01:19:56,930 Hello, brother. 1070 01:19:57,197 --> 01:19:59,990 Thirsty? 1071 01:20:09,809 --> 01:20:14,314 Long time, brother. How you been keeping? 1072 01:20:14,814 --> 01:20:16,483 Well, you know... 1073 01:20:18,952 --> 01:20:23,223 I hear you been telling about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. 1074 01:20:23,323 --> 01:20:25,992 With one bullet, wasn't it? 1075 01:20:26,126 --> 01:20:27,994 Isn't that right? 1076 01:20:28,128 --> 01:20:32,332 All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? 1077 01:20:32,499 --> 01:20:36,236 Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? 1078 01:20:36,336 --> 01:20:39,572 Seems these folks trust you. 1079 01:20:39,673 --> 01:20:42,742 They think you're gonna save their little town. 1080 01:20:42,842 --> 01:20:46,346 They think you're gonna save their little souls! 1081 01:20:50,350 --> 01:20:53,920 But we know better, don't we? 1082 01:20:59,492 --> 01:21:03,960 So why don't you show your friends here what you're made of? 1083 01:21:03,196 --> 01:21:06,320 Show them who you really are. 1084 01:21:06,166 --> 01:21:09,169 Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? 1085 01:21:09,269 --> 01:21:12,172 But, of course, you won't need all these. 1086 01:21:12,272 --> 01:21:14,207 Just one, right? 1087 01:21:16,509 --> 01:21:19,946 Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger. 1088 01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:25,385 You got killer in your eyes, son? 1089 01:21:27,687 --> 01:21:28,855 I don't see it. 1090 01:21:32,580 --> 01:21:35,362 You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? 1091 01:21:35,462 --> 01:21:39,466 You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers. You ain't even from the West! 1092 01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:40,734 Are you? 1093 01:21:41,534 --> 01:21:44,137 -Say it! -No. 1094 01:21:44,237 --> 01:21:48,375 Speak up. I don't think your friends here heard you. 1095 01:21:49,976 --> 01:21:51,440 No. 1096 01:21:51,144 --> 01:21:53,646 All you've done is lie to these good people. 1097 01:21:53,747 --> 01:21:57,984 You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Isn't that right? 1098 01:21:58,251 --> 01:21:59,419 Yes. 1099 01:21:59,552 --> 01:22:01,254 -Louder! -Yes. 1100 01:22:05,725 --> 01:22:08,895 Listen close, you pathetic fraud. 1101 01:22:08,995 --> 01:22:11,998 This is my town now. 1102 01:22:12,980 --> 01:22:16,569 If I ever see you again, I will take your soul straight down to hell! 1103 01:22:33,453 --> 01:22:35,880 Who are you? 1104 01:24:31,738 --> 01:24:33,206 Who am I? 1105 01:24:35,375 --> 01:24:37,770 I'm nobody. 1106 01:26:31,324 --> 01:26:33,259 Golden guardians. 1107 01:26:35,195 --> 01:26:36,830 The alabaster carriage. 1108 01:26:41,835 --> 01:26:44,337 The Spirit of the West. 1109 01:26:48,775 --> 01:26:52,679 Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir? 1110 01:26:55,181 --> 01:27:00,186 There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to dig deep to find what you're looking for. 1111 01:27:01,855 --> 01:27:03,223 So you made it. 1112 01:27:04,190 --> 01:27:05,425 Is this heaven? 1113 01:27:05,525 --> 01:27:09,362 If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak. 1114 01:27:09,562 --> 01:27:10,797 Yeah. 1115 01:27:10,964 --> 01:27:14,134 No kidding. What are you doing out here? 1116 01:27:14,534 --> 01:27:16,536 Searching, same as you. 1117 01:27:17,470 --> 01:27:20,774 I don't even know what I'm looking for any more. 1118 01:27:20,874 --> 01:27:22,809 I don't even know who I am. 1119 01:27:23,376 --> 01:27:25,879 They used to call you the Man with No Name. 1120 01:27:27,213 --> 01:27:31,117 These days they got a name forjust about everything. 1121 01:27:31,217 --> 01:27:35,488 Doesn't matter what they call you. It's the deeds make the man. 1122 01:27:35,588 --> 01:27:39,392 Yeah, but my deeds just made things worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney! 1123 01:27:39,492 --> 01:27:43,396 My friends believed in me, but they need some kind of hero. 1124 01:27:43,496 --> 01:27:45,165 Then be a hero. 1125 01:27:45,265 --> 01:27:49,169 No. No, no, you don't understand. I'm not even supposed to be here. 1126 01:27:49,269 --> 01:27:53,506 That's right. You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. 1127 01:27:54,574 --> 01:27:57,277 Don't you see? It's not about you. 1128 01:27:58,278 --> 01:27:59,846 It's about them. 1129 01:28:02,782 --> 01:28:04,184 But I can't go back. 1130 01:28:04,284 --> 01:28:06,686 Don't know that you got a choice, son. 1131 01:28:10,523 --> 01:28:13,293 No man can walk out on his own story. 1132 01:28:25,772 --> 01:28:27,474 So you made it. 1133 01:28:28,875 --> 01:28:32,779 That's right, amigo. The other side of the road. 1134 01:28:35,215 --> 01:28:37,484 Did you just see that? 1135 01:28:37,884 --> 01:28:40,787 We each see what we need to see. 1136 01:28:41,788 --> 01:28:43,790 Beautiful, isn't it? 1137 01:28:55,802 --> 01:28:56,903 Yeah. 1138 01:28:58,400 --> 01:28:59,406 It is. 1139 01:28:59,973 --> 01:29:03,810 Come, my friend. I want to show you something. 1140 01:29:06,813 --> 01:29:12,850 Many years ago, this entire valley was covered in agua. 1141 01:29:12,185 --> 01:29:16,156 Now only one question remains. 1142 01:29:17,357 --> 01:29:18,925 Where did it go? 1143 01:29:53,893 --> 01:29:55,962 They follow the water. 1144 01:29:56,620 --> 01:29:59,199 They follow the water! Come on! 1145 01:30:34,670 --> 01:30:38,671 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1146 01:30:39,406 --> 01:30:41,341 What are you building out here? 1147 01:30:41,441 --> 01:30:43,343 The future, Mr Rango. 1148 01:30:43,443 --> 01:30:48,140 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1149 01:30:50,417 --> 01:30:53,286 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1150 01:30:56,356 --> 01:30:58,958 I watched the march of progress 1151 01:30:59,920 --> 01:31:01,327 and I learned a thing or two. 1152 01:31:06,633 --> 01:31:08,802 Control the water 1153 01:31:08,935 --> 01:31:11,304 and you control everything. 1154 01:31:18,144 --> 01:31:20,380 Come now, Mr Rango. 1155 01:31:20,480 --> 01:31:22,315 You attribute divine power to me. 1156 01:31:22,449 --> 01:31:24,984 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1157 01:32:01,888 --> 01:32:03,890 What now, amigo? 1158 01:32:11,531 --> 01:32:14,567 No man can walk out on his own story. 1159 01:32:16,169 --> 01:32:17,570 I'm going back. 1160 01:32:19,390 --> 01:32:20,407 But why? 1161 01:32:21,541 --> 01:32:23,543 Because that's who I am. 1162 01:32:35,689 --> 01:32:40,360 You got a lot of nerve showing up here, lawman. What is it you want? 1163 01:32:41,394 --> 01:32:45,650 Your pappy and them boys are about to hang for something they didn't do. 1164 01:32:46,533 --> 01:32:48,201 But I've got a plan. 1165 01:33:16,262 --> 01:33:19,990 I appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans. 1166 01:33:19,232 --> 01:33:22,168 But you're making a practical decision. 1167 01:33:22,268 --> 01:33:25,400 Decisions, decisions. 1168 01:33:25,105 --> 01:33:28,274 There's no need for any more suffering. 1169 01:33:34,781 --> 01:33:38,284 Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. 1170 01:33:38,818 --> 01:33:43,590 Sign the deed and relieve yourself of your father's burden. 1171 01:33:45,625 --> 01:33:48,461 My daddy was not a burden! 1172 01:33:48,595 --> 01:33:50,964 Keep your blood money and I'll keep my land! 1173 01:33:57,103 --> 01:34:00,273 Do what he says or, by all the fires of the black pit, 1174 01:34:00,340 --> 01:34:03,777 I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes out of your skull! 1175 01:34:04,511 --> 01:34:06,713 Now, hold on, Jake. There's no need to... 1176 01:34:06,813 --> 01:34:09,149 Let me do my job! You brought me in. 1177 01:34:09,282 --> 01:34:11,818 Now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! 1178 01:34:12,619 --> 01:34:15,121 Sign the damn paper, woman! 1179 01:34:15,321 --> 01:34:17,123 Go to hell! 1180 01:34:17,290 --> 01:34:19,626 Where do you think I come from? 1181 01:34:20,193 --> 01:34:22,529 Look into my eyes. 1182 01:34:22,629 --> 01:34:24,998 I want to see you die. 1183 01:34:30,136 --> 01:34:31,337 Jake! 1184 01:34:34,674 --> 01:34:36,676 I'm calling you out! 1185 01:34:38,978 --> 01:34:40,480 Jake! 1186 01:34:40,814 --> 01:34:45,185 This day just got a little more interesting. 1187 01:35:12,412 --> 01:35:13,613 Put her down. 1188 01:35:13,713 --> 01:35:17,350 Or what, little man? You going to kill me? 1189 01:35:17,417 --> 01:35:19,352 That's just about the size of it. 1190 01:35:22,220 --> 01:35:24,624 -Get your filthy paws off me! -Shut your gob! 1191 01:35:24,724 --> 01:35:27,894 All right, Sheriff, make your move. 1192 01:37:00,153 --> 01:37:01,654 Now, amigos! 1193 01:37:06,192 --> 01:37:08,862 -Heave! Heave! -Heave! Heave! 1194 01:37:26,813 --> 01:37:29,490 That was a bad idea. 1195 01:37:33,486 --> 01:37:34,521 Thirsty, brother? 1196 01:37:38,224 --> 01:37:40,360 Here it comes! 1197 01:37:42,162 --> 01:37:43,196 No. No! 1198 01:37:47,567 --> 01:37:48,835 It's a miracle! 1199 01:37:49,200 --> 01:37:50,370 Look out! 1200 01:37:57,510 --> 01:37:59,179 -Lookee there! -What is that? 1201 01:38:01,810 --> 01:38:02,515 It's our salvation, Pa! 1202 01:38:02,582 --> 01:38:05,719 It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out! 1203 01:38:15,929 --> 01:38:20,330 I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts'll be leaking lead! 1204 01:38:20,100 --> 01:38:22,869 Well, then it's a good thing I brought some backup. 1205 01:38:34,114 --> 01:38:35,215 What? 1206 01:38:38,952 --> 01:38:40,820 Ain't no hawk. 1207 01:38:40,920 --> 01:38:43,390 Ain't nothing but bats! 1208 01:38:45,558 --> 01:38:49,796 Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed that devil dry! 1209 01:39:01,241 --> 01:39:03,410 It only takes one bullet. 1210 01:39:03,476 --> 01:39:05,612 You ain't got the nerve. 1211 01:39:06,780 --> 01:39:08,248 Try me. 1212 01:39:12,585 --> 01:39:14,254 Oh, Mr Rango. 1213 01:39:14,921 --> 01:39:16,589 Aren't you forgetting something? 1214 01:39:21,828 --> 01:39:23,797 Hand me your gun, Sheriff. 1215 01:39:26,666 --> 01:39:28,468 Now, Mr Rango. 1216 01:39:40,613 --> 01:39:42,949 Beans! Hold on. Don't worry, I got a plan. 1217 01:39:43,850 --> 01:39:45,985 Help! 1218 01:39:46,119 --> 01:39:48,455 Open the door! 1219 01:39:49,220 --> 01:39:50,523 Okay, plan B. 1220 01:39:51,691 --> 01:39:52,826 Beans, you're mumbling. 1221 01:39:53,360 --> 01:39:57,530 All my problems taken care of except for one. 1222 01:39:58,198 --> 01:39:59,332 It's a new West, Jake. 1223 01:39:59,466 --> 01:40:03,803 There's no room for gunslingers any more. We're businessmen now. 1224 01:40:03,870 --> 01:40:05,638 Yeah, we got new hats. 1225 01:40:05,705 --> 01:40:09,342 Where I come from, we call this improvisation. 1226 01:40:10,710 --> 01:40:12,479 You came back. 1227 01:40:20,687 --> 01:40:21,888 What was that? 1228 01:40:21,988 --> 01:40:24,557 No need to panic, but I think you just swallowed plan B. 1229 01:40:24,691 --> 01:40:25,825 What? 1230 01:40:27,394 --> 01:40:28,928 Okay, panic time. 1231 01:40:29,290 --> 01:40:31,998 You and the Sheriff are more alike than you think. 1232 01:40:32,650 --> 01:40:33,900 You're nothing but legends. 1233 01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:37,737 Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. 1234 01:40:41,700 --> 01:40:43,576 One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. 1235 01:40:45,912 --> 01:40:47,681 How fitting. 1236 01:41:21,915 --> 01:41:24,840 Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together, 1237 01:41:24,217 --> 01:41:28,321 we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation. 1238 01:41:28,421 --> 01:41:30,724 You better take it up with him. 1239 01:41:41,935 --> 01:41:43,737 One bullet. 1240 01:41:45,105 --> 01:41:47,440 I tip my hat to you, 1241 01:41:47,574 --> 01:41:50,443 one legend to another. 1242 01:41:52,278 --> 01:41:54,481 What was that you said? 1243 01:41:54,581 --> 01:41:59,285 "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." 1244 01:41:59,452 --> 01:42:01,588 No, Jake! No! 1245 01:42:13,933 --> 01:42:15,301 Rango! 1246 01:42:16,770 --> 01:42:20,540 You brought the water back, just like you promised. 1247 01:42:20,640 --> 01:42:22,308 You really are a hero. 1248 01:42:23,610 --> 01:42:26,780 Well, the thing about heroes is, whenever you... 1249 01:42:26,846 --> 01:42:28,648 Don't spoil it. 1250 01:42:28,782 --> 01:42:29,983 Right. 1251 01:42:30,483 --> 01:42:33,787 Well, I don't know about you all, but I could sure go for a dip. 1252 01:42:37,290 --> 01:42:40,193 And so the lizard completes his journey 1253 01:42:40,293 --> 01:42:44,330 from humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. 1254 01:42:44,464 --> 01:42:49,135 And although he is certain to die, perhaps from a household accident, 1255 01:42:49,202 --> 01:42:52,238 which account for 65% of all unnatural deaths, 1256 01:42:52,338 --> 01:42:55,809 the people of the village will honour his memory 1257 01:42:55,975 --> 01:42:59,145 even as they abandon their dignity. 1258 01:43:06,686 --> 01:43:09,550 -I'm going in. -How about a cold one, there? 1259 01:43:09,155 --> 01:43:11,191 Water ain't money. Money is money. 1260 01:43:11,324 --> 01:43:13,893 -Well, I ain't got no... -We're talking hard cash. 1261 01:43:14,527 --> 01:43:15,762 We have a problem. 1262 01:43:15,862 --> 01:43:18,531 Who let Snuggles in the pool again? 1263 01:43:18,665 --> 01:43:21,670 I really think you complete me. 1264 01:43:21,167 --> 01:43:23,370 Prithee, unhand my fair maiden. 1265 01:43:23,503 --> 01:43:26,573 -Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five. -How can you keep missing your mark? 1266 01:43:26,673 --> 01:43:27,707 What's my motivation? 1267 01:43:29,542 --> 01:43:31,440 Oh, you kids. 1268 01:43:31,177 --> 01:43:33,130 What did you do that for? 1269 01:43:33,790 --> 01:43:35,548 I was just checking. I hear if you get too sunburnt, 1270 01:43:35,682 --> 01:43:37,417 you can peel a man's face right off. 1271 01:43:37,517 --> 01:43:39,850 -What is it? -That there's some human spleen. 1272 01:43:39,185 --> 01:43:40,253 Don't touch it. 1273 01:43:40,353 --> 01:43:41,921 That's the second time that's happened to me. 1274 01:43:42,220 --> 01:43:43,590 This water thing's great. 1275 01:43:43,690 --> 01:43:45,191 I'm urinating right now. 1276 01:43:45,258 --> 01:43:48,395 Adult swim, next five minutes. 1277 01:43:48,528 --> 01:43:50,864 Stay between the buoys. 1278 01:43:50,930 --> 01:43:52,265 I packed your lunch. Danish is in there 1279 01:43:52,365 --> 01:43:54,670 and I picked the raisins out just the way you like it. 1280 01:43:54,200 --> 01:43:56,202 Don't forget, your nasal spray is in your saddle-bag... 1281 01:43:56,269 --> 01:43:57,904 -Beans! -...and your moisturising lotion... 1282 01:43:58,380 --> 01:44:00,240 -Now, Beans! We've talked about this. -Lotion? 1283 01:44:00,373 --> 01:44:03,760 That's for my gun. That's gun lotion. 1284 01:44:03,243 --> 01:44:04,778 Sheriff, where are you headed? 1285 01:44:04,878 --> 01:44:07,781 There's trouble down a dry creek. Bad Bill's been acting up again. 1286 01:44:07,881 --> 01:44:09,749 Now, honey, you come back with all your digits. 1287 01:44:09,883 --> 01:44:11,217 And don't go trying to be a hero. 1288 01:44:11,284 --> 01:44:12,752 Beans, you are missing the point. 1289 01:44:12,886 --> 01:44:15,221 I got an image to protect now. 1290 01:44:16,289 --> 01:44:17,891 Where's my Tic Tacs? 1291 01:44:19,225 --> 01:44:21,127 -I found them. -What's going on? 1292 01:44:21,227 --> 01:44:24,130 Well, in order to satisfy the needs of the collective, 1293 01:44:24,230 --> 01:44:25,999 the hero must abandon the self 1294 01:44:26,990 --> 01:44:30,700 and solidify his image as an icon that will forever be remembered. 1295 01:44:30,904 --> 01:44:33,273 So, this is the sunset shot. 1296 01:44:41,748 --> 01:44:43,783 Give them a good one, amigo. 1297 01:44:53,259 --> 01:44:54,794 Ready, Excelsior? 1298 01:44:55,950 --> 01:44:57,300 My fellow comrades. 1299 01:44:57,130 --> 01:44:59,799 There will be times when you doubt yourself. 1300 01:44:59,866 --> 01:45:03,103 When you feel pummelled by the cataclysms of life, 1301 01:45:03,503 --> 01:45:07,400 remember this moment. Remember me. 1302 01:45:07,607 --> 01:45:10,377 Know that I will be there watching you, 1303 01:45:10,610 --> 01:45:13,446 sometimes at inappropriate moments. 1304 01:45:13,713 --> 01:45:16,490 That's part of the deal. 1305 01:45:16,149 --> 01:45:19,619 And remember, within all of us resides 1306 01:45:19,953 --> 01:45:22,689 the true Spirit of the... 1307 01:45:25,625 --> 01:45:27,894 Let's take it from the top.