1 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,759 Onward, Chauncey! 2 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,662 To the highest room of the tallest tower 3 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:07,834 where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Charming! 4 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:23,160 This is worse than Love Letters. I hate dinner theater! 5 00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:24,351 Me, too. 6 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,188 Whoa there, Chauncey! 7 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:30,557 Hark! 8 00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:33,226 The brave Prince Charming approacheth. 9 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,694 Fear not, fair maiden. 10 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,230 I shall slay the monster that guards you, 11 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:40,330 then take my place as rightful king. 12 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,402 What did she say? 13 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,407 It's Shrek! 14 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,809 Whoo, Shrek, yeah! 15 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:56,116 Prepare, foul beast to enter into a world of pain 16 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,318 with which you are not familiar! 17 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:01,540 Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee 18 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,123 Do you mind? 19 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,759 Do you mind? Boring! 20 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,932 Prepare, foul beast... 21 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,778 Someday you'll be sorry. 22 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,646 We already are! 23 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,440 Mommy... 24 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,447 You're right. I can't let this happen. 25 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,116 I can't! 26 00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:08,221 I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. 27 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,357 And I promise you this, Mother, 28 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:13,260 I will restore dignity to my throne. 29 00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:19,299 And this time 30 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,168 no one will stand in my way. 31 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:41,921 Good morning. 32 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,524 Good morning. 33 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,560 Morning breath. 34 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,263 know. Isn't it wonderful? 35 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,767 Good morning, good morning 36 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,360 The sun is shining through 37 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,672 Good morning, good morning, to you 38 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,874 And you! And you! 39 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,713 They grow up so fast. 40 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,381 Not fast enough. 41 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,553 You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. 42 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,690 Several functions require your attendance, sir. 43 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,920 Great! Let's get started. 44 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,862 Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving! 45 00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,990 You need to get a pair of jammies. 46 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,943 I got some sleep and I needed it 47 00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:40,800 Not a lot, just a little bit 48 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,949 Someone's always trying to keep me from it 49 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:46,386 It's a crying shame 50 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,122 It's a royal pain in the neck 51 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,890 I knight thee. 52 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,482 If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. 53 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,418 Can somebody come in and work on Shrek? 54 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,155 I will see what I can do. 55 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,145 Yeah, wow. 56 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,648 Is this really necessary? 57 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,284 Quite necessary, Fiona. 58 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,853 -I'm Shrek, you twit. -Whatever. 59 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:57,857 This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! 60 00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,600 Smiles, everyone! Smiles! 61 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,630 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 62 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:06,399 I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? 63 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,868 It's just until Dad gets better. 64 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,720 Shrek? 65 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,208 You look handsome. 66 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,510 Come here, you. 67 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,159 My butt is itching up a storm 68 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,620 and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. 69 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:40,660 Hey, you! Come here. What's your name? 70 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,835 Fiddlesworth, sir. 71 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:43,503 Perfect. 72 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,608 Ladies and gentlemen... 73 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,911 Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! 74 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,786 You've got it. A little to the left. 75 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,689 That's it! That's good. 76 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,593 Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. 77 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,128 Shrek! 78 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,769 -My eye! -What are you doing? 79 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,376 Fiona! 80 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,982 -Are you okay? -Yeah. I'm fine. 81 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,121 Shrimp! My favourite! 82 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,568 -That's it! We're leaving! -Calm down. 83 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,803 Calm down? 84 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:53,473 Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. 85 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:57,177 I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. 86 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,482 think that went well. 87 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:03,783 Donkey! 88 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,819 Come on, Shrek! 89 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,322 Some people just don't understand boundaries. 90 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,300 Just think. 91 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,803 A couple more days and we'll be back home 92 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:27,340 in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus 93 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,776 and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. 94 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,479 You had me at "vermin-filled." 95 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:38,118 And maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor. 96 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,488 That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. 97 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,189 No. 98 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:47,193 What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. 99 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,290 -Donkey? -No, Shrek. 100 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,198 What if, theoretically, 101 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,468 they were little ogre feet? 102 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:05,211 Honey, let's be rational about this. 103 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,681 Have you seen a baby lately? 104 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,684 They just eat and poop, and they cry 105 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,887 then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. 106 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:17,390 Now, imagine an ogre baby. 107 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,694 They extra-cry and they extra-poop. 108 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,831 Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? 109 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,702 Right now, you're my family. 110 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,674 Somebody better be dying. 111 00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:38,778 I'm dying. 112 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,515 Harold? 113 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,921 Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. 114 00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:49,856 Of course, darling. 115 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,360 Fiona. 116 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,461 Yes, Daddy? 117 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:57,297 I know I made many mistakes with you. 118 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,766 It's okay. 119 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,202 But your love for Shrek has 120 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,604 taught me much. 121 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,774 My dear boy, 122 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,444 I am proud to call you my son. 123 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,248 And I'm proud to call you my frog... 124 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,117 King dad-in-law. 125 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:22,389 Now there is a matter of business to attend to. 126 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,736 The Frog King is dead. 127 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,680 Put your hat back on, fool. 128 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,810 Shrek, 129 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,650 please come hither. 130 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,789 Yeah, Dad? 131 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:58,992 This kingdom needs a new king. 132 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:04,831 You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. 133 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,268 Next in line. 134 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,937 You see, Dad, that's why people love you. 135 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,274 Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. 136 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,815 Come on, Dad. An ogre as king? 137 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,384 That's not such a good idea. 138 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,720 There must be somebody else. 139 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,221 Anybody! 140 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:33,260 Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. 141 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,396 Really? Who is he, Dad? 142 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,331 His name is... 143 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:40,967 Is... 144 00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,669 What's his name? 145 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,371 Is... 146 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,640 Daddy! 147 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,659 His name is Arthur. 148 00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:08,328 Arthur? 149 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:17,704 I know you'll do what's right. 150 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:22,942 Harold? 151 00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:24,878 Dad? Dad! 152 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,514 Dad? 153 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,849 Do your thing, man. 154 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:03,616 When you were young and your heart 155 00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,919 Was an open book 156 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,624 You used to say live and let live 157 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,829 You know you did, you know you did You know you did 158 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:22,200 But if this ever changing world In which we live in 159 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,739 Makes you give in and cry 160 00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:31,244 Say live and let die 161 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,949 Live and let die 162 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,356 Hey, lady You, lady 163 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,225 Cursing at your life 164 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,962 You're a discontented mother 165 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,233 And a regimented wife 166 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,396 What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? 167 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,432 Mabel! 168 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:03,570 Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. 169 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:07,707 Where's Doris? Taking the night off? 170 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:11,440 She's not welcome here, and neither are you. 171 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,615 What do you want, Charming? 172 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:19,520 Not much. Just a chance at redemption. 173 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,856 And a Fuzzy Navel. 174 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:26,590 And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! 175 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,198 We're not your friends. 176 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,569 You don't belong here. 177 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,607 You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? 178 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,420 Do a number on his face. 179 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,810 Wait, wait, wait! 180 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,113 We are more alike than you think. 181 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,214 Wicked Witch! 182 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,151 The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? 183 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,285 Oh, what's it to you? 184 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,921 They left you the unfairest of them all. 185 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,423 Now here you are, 186 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,920 hustling pool to get your next meal. 187 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,728 How does that feel? 188 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,735 Pretty unfair. 189 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,236 And you! 190 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:14,407 Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. 191 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,978 I hate that little wooden puppet. 192 00:16:19,790 --> 00:16:20,413 And Hook. 193 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,615 Need I say more? 194 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,755 -And you, Frumpypigskin! -Rumpelstiltskin. 195 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,624 Where's that firstborn you were promised? 196 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:34,861 Mabel. 197 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,697 Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot 198 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,100 into that tiny glass slipper? 199 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,600 Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now, 200 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,474 eating bonbons, 201 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,944 cavorting with every last fairy tale creature 202 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,279 that has ever done you wrong! 203 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:58,818 Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. 204 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,220 But there are two sides to every story 205 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,791 and our side has not been told! 206 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,270 So who will join me? 207 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,996 Who wants to come out on top for once? 208 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:14,367 Who wants their "happily ever after"? 209 00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:33,653 This way, gents. 210 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,400 It's out of my hands, sefiorita. 211 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,103 The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. 212 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:54,240 But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. 213 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,209 As are you. 214 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,178 And, you. 215 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,515 I don't know you, but I'd like to. 216 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,884 I got to go! 217 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,221 I don't wanna leave you either. 218 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,591 But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. 219 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:15,295 But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! 220 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,965 Be strong, babies. 221 00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,601 Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama. 222 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:25,238 Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. 223 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,208 That's my special boy! 224 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,544 Come here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! 225 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,285 Shrek? 226 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,290 Maybe you should just stay and be King. 227 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:48,428 Come on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. 228 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,131 That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. 229 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,401 It's not that. You see... 230 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,805 And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. 231 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,808 Here's persuasion and here's reason. 232 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,945 Fiona, 233 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,150 soon it's just going to be you, me 234 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,151 and our swamp. 235 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,755 It's not going to be just you and me. 236 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,858 All aboard! 237 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,796 It will be. I promise. 238 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,330 I love you. 239 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,840 -That's lovely. -Bye-bye, babies! 240 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,183 Shrek! 241 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,520 -Wait! -What is it? 242 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,355 I'm... I'm... 243 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,427 I love you, too, honey! 244 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,863 No! I said I'm... 245 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,368 You're what? 246 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,870 I said I'm pregnant! 247 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,609 What was that? 248 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,779 You're going to be a father! 249 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,216 That's great! 250 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,719 Really? I'm glad you think so! 251 00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:21,721 I love you! 252 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:22,922 Yeah! 253 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,959 Me, too! You! 254 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:33,660 I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! 255 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,403 And you, my friend, are royally... 256 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,643 Home. 257 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,856 Shrek! 258 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,560 Fiona! 259 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,832 Fiona? 260 00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,519 Oh, no. 261 00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,358 Better out than in, I always say. 262 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:16,903 No, no, no! 263 00:22:19,390 --> 00:22:21,608 It's okay. It's gonna be all right. 264 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,782 Stop! Hey, wait! 265 00:23:14,928 --> 00:23:16,463 Donkey. Donkey! 266 00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:17,764 Wake up! 267 00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:21,468 Dada! 268 00:23:23,937 --> 00:23:25,772 Shrek! Are you okay? 269 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:30,777 I can't believe I'm going to be a father. 270 00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:33,130 How did this happen? 271 00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:34,681 Allow me to explain. 272 00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,717 When a man has feelings for a woman 273 00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,320 a powerful urge sweeps over him. 274 00:23:40,387 --> 00:23:42,389 I know how it happened. 275 00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:45,892 I just can't believe it. 276 00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:50,630 How does it happen? 277 00:23:57,470 --> 00:24:02,809 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 278 00:24:02,876 --> 00:24:05,478 Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon 279 00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:08,214 When you coming home, son ? I don't know when 280 00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:10,717 But we'll get together then, Dad 281 00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:12,986 Donkey! Can you just cut to the part 282 00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:16,189 where you're supposed to make me feel better? 283 00:24:16,256 --> 00:24:18,858 You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? 284 00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:22,829 What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat, 285 00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:27,567 an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. 286 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,437 Don't listen to him! 287 00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:33,506 Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. 288 00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:36,409 It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, 289 00:24:36,509 --> 00:24:38,244 it's the kid's. 290 00:24:38,345 --> 00:24:42,449 When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre" 291 00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:45,510 or "as nurturing as an ogre" 292 00:24:45,118 --> 00:24:49,756 or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre"? 293 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:51,524 Okay. I get it. 294 00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:55,610 It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. 295 00:24:55,128 --> 00:24:56,563 "hat's true. 296 00:24:57,297 --> 00:24:58,798 I'm doomed. 297 00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:00,467 You'll be fine. 298 00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:02,969 You're finished. 299 00:25:06,206 --> 00:25:08,208 With your journey. 300 00:25:16,483 --> 00:25:19,850 "Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? 301 00:25:19,152 --> 00:25:20,820 Now that sounds fancy! 302 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,556 -It's Worcestershire. -Like the sauce? 303 00:25:24,391 --> 00:25:25,792 It's spicy! 304 00:25:29,462 --> 00:25:31,564 They must be expecting us. 305 00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:40,600 What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? 306 00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:44,177 Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. 307 00:25:44,277 --> 00:25:46,513 -Must be a high school. -High school? 308 00:25:46,613 --> 00:25:48,314 -Ready? -Okay! 309 00:25:48,415 --> 00:25:51,840 Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? 310 00:25:51,151 --> 00:25:52,819 Yeah, we think so, we think so! 311 00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:55,422 And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? 312 00:25:55,488 --> 00:25:58,910 Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! 313 00:26:03,263 --> 00:26:06,199 All right, Mr Percival, ease up on the reins. 314 00:26:10,437 --> 00:26:14,140 For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. 315 00:26:14,441 --> 00:26:17,677 I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! 316 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,879 How did you receive wedgies 317 00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:22,215 when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? 318 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:25,285 Let's just say some things are better left unsaid. 319 00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:29,956 So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." 320 00:26:30,230 --> 00:26:32,125 -Oh, totally. -Pardon me. 321 00:26:32,692 --> 00:26:35,280 -Totally ew-eth. -Yeah, totally. 322 00:26:36,629 --> 00:26:39,165 I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. 323 00:26:39,232 --> 00:26:42,135 Hi. We're looking for someone named... 324 00:26:42,202 --> 00:26:43,970 Who rolled a +9 dork spell 325 00:26:44,370 --> 00:26:46,806 and summoned the beast and his quadrupeds? 326 00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,430 I know you're busy not fitting in, 327 00:26:50,143 --> 00:26:53,246 but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? 328 00:26:53,346 --> 00:26:54,981 He's over there. 329 00:27:14,567 --> 00:27:19,500 There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! 330 00:27:21,508 --> 00:27:24,411 Strong, handsome, face of a leader. 331 00:27:24,511 --> 00:27:27,247 Does Arthur look like a king or what? 332 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,450 Sorry. 333 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,453 Did you say you were looking for Arthur? 334 00:27:33,553 --> 00:27:35,789 That information is on a need-to-know basis. 335 00:27:35,889 --> 00:27:37,524 It's top secret! 336 00:27:38,910 --> 00:27:41,227 Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! 337 00:27:44,397 --> 00:27:47,701 Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. 338 00:27:48,435 --> 00:27:50,370 What are you supposed to be? 339 00:27:50,437 --> 00:27:53,707 Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? 340 00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:58,780 Giant mutant... You made a funny. 341 00:27:59,112 --> 00:28:00,980 Unhand me, monster! 342 00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:03,616 Stop squirming, Arthur. 343 00:28:03,717 --> 00:28:05,452 I'm not Arthur. 344 00:28:07,554 --> 00:28:09,889 am Lancelot. 345 00:28:10,256 --> 00:28:12,926 "hat dork over there is Arthur. 346 00:28:19,232 --> 00:28:21,134 This is, like, totally embarrassing, 347 00:28:21,234 --> 00:28:24,237 but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. 348 00:28:24,304 --> 00:28:27,741 She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. 349 00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:29,576 -Excuse me? -Like, whatever. 350 00:28:29,642 --> 00:28:32,979 She's into college guys and mythical creatures. 351 00:28:36,249 --> 00:28:38,251 Oh, Arthur, 352 00:28:38,318 --> 00:28:41,621 come out, come out, wherever you are! 353 00:28:44,657 --> 00:28:46,760 You better run, you little punk no-goodniks! 354 00:28:46,826 --> 00:28:49,796 The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! 355 00:28:57,137 --> 00:28:58,605 Hold it. 356 00:28:58,672 --> 00:29:01,141 We're here for the mascot contest. 357 00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:08,515 We're here for the mascot contest, too. 358 00:29:08,615 --> 00:29:10,316 "his is a costume? 359 00:29:11,284 --> 00:29:13,553 Worked on it all night long. 360 00:29:14,654 --> 00:29:16,220 Looks pretty real to me. 361 00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:18,525 If he were real, could I do this? 362 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,861 Or this? 363 00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:28,334 If it were real, that would have been agonisingly painful. 364 00:29:28,401 --> 00:29:31,404 -Now watch this! -That's quite enough, boys. 365 00:29:31,705 --> 00:29:35,308 Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his lecture 366 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:37,243 on "just say nay." 367 00:29:37,977 --> 00:29:40,800 And now, without further ado, 368 00:29:40,180 --> 00:29:42,315 let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah 369 00:29:42,382 --> 00:29:45,885 to the winner of our mascot contest, the... 370 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,488 Ogre? 371 00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,258 That's right. I'm the new mascot. 372 00:29:52,359 --> 00:29:55,662 So let's really try and beat the other guys 373 00:29:55,729 --> 00:29:59,232 at whatever it is they're doing! 374 00:30:03,169 --> 00:30:05,839 "his is all a bit unorthodox... 375 00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:10,243 Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? 376 00:30:12,112 --> 00:30:13,580 Hey, wait... 377 00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:19,452 Classic. 378 00:30:19,552 --> 00:30:21,540 You should be ashamed of yourself! 379 00:30:21,121 --> 00:30:23,356 I didn't do it. They did. 380 00:30:28,862 --> 00:30:30,196 Please don't eat me. 381 00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:32,866 Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! 382 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,969 I'm not here to eat him! 383 00:30:38,138 --> 00:30:40,640 Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. 384 00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:43,276 You're the new King of Far Far Away. 385 00:30:43,376 --> 00:30:44,544 What? 386 00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:50,383 Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! 387 00:30:55,555 --> 00:30:56,756 Burn. 388 00:30:59,926 --> 00:31:01,610 Is this for real? 389 00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:05,465 Absolutely. Clean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. 390 00:31:05,565 --> 00:31:08,234 So, wait. I'm really the only heir? 391 00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:11,404 The one and only. 392 00:31:12,138 --> 00:31:14,107 Give me a second. 393 00:31:16,309 --> 00:31:18,110 My good people, 394 00:31:18,111 --> 00:31:20,680 there's a lesson here for all of us. 395 00:31:21,810 --> 00:31:25,352 Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, 396 00:31:25,452 --> 00:31:27,954 "Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. 397 00:31:28,688 --> 00:31:31,157 "Maybe I should cut him some slack. 398 00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:34,661 "'Cause maybe, just maybe, 399 00:31:34,761 --> 00:31:38,264 "this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? 400 00:31:38,932 --> 00:31:41,267 "Maybe his first royal decree 401 00:31:41,334 --> 00:31:43,470 "will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." 402 00:31:43,536 --> 00:31:46,106 I'm looking at you, jousting team! 403 00:31:46,973 --> 00:31:48,274 And Guin? 404 00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:50,276 Oh, Guin. 405 00:31:50,877 --> 00:31:52,779 I've always loved you. 406 00:31:53,780 --> 00:31:56,850 Good friends, it breaks my heart, but 407 00:31:56,950 --> 00:32:00,200 enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! 408 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,888 Okay, let's not overdo it. 409 00:32:01,988 --> 00:32:05,658 I'm building my city, people, on rock 'n' roll! 410 00:32:05,725 --> 00:32:07,527 You just overdid it. 411 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:18,304 Look at you! 412 00:32:18,672 --> 00:32:21,975 -You look darling. -Just precious. Look at her. 413 00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:25,110 Any cravings since you got pregnant? 414 00:32:25,780 --> 00:32:27,180 No. Not at all. 415 00:32:28,548 --> 00:32:30,550 Do you smell ham? 416 00:32:30,650 --> 00:32:33,186 It's present time! 417 00:32:34,821 --> 00:32:39,225 Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. 418 00:32:39,893 --> 00:32:41,895 "Congratulations on your new mess..." 419 00:32:41,995 --> 00:32:43,997 Oh, mess maker! 420 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,434 "Hopefully this helps. Love, Cinderella." 421 00:32:48,268 --> 00:32:50,370 -Look at that! -What is it? 422 00:32:51,938 --> 00:32:53,840 It's for the poopies. 423 00:32:54,541 --> 00:32:57,744 -Wait. Babies poop? -Everyone poops, Beauty. 424 00:32:57,844 --> 00:32:59,790 Fiona! 425 00:32:59,179 --> 00:33:02,182 We all chipped in for a little present, too. 426 00:33:02,882 --> 00:33:04,250 Ta-da! 427 00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:08,421 You know the baby will love it, because I do! 428 00:33:08,521 --> 00:33:11,124 Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. 429 00:33:11,925 --> 00:33:12,959 Who's this one from? 430 00:33:13,590 --> 00:33:15,595 I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. 431 00:33:15,695 --> 00:33:18,965 "Have one on me. Love, Snow White." 432 00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:24,104 What is it? 433 00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:26,906 -He's a live-in babysitter. -Where's the baby? 434 00:33:26,973 --> 00:33:31,111 You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. 435 00:33:31,211 --> 00:33:33,313 It's nothing. I have six more at home. 436 00:33:33,413 --> 00:33:35,248 -What does he do? -Cleaning. 437 00:33:35,315 --> 00:33:37,117 -Feed -Burp 438 00:33:37,217 --> 00:33:39,419 So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? 439 00:33:39,486 --> 00:33:41,988 Work on your marriage. 440 00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:46,593 Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? 441 00:33:46,659 --> 00:33:49,963 Come on now, Fiona. You know what happens. 442 00:33:51,264 --> 00:33:53,266 You're tired all the time. 443 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:54,968 You start letting yourself go. 444 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:56,302 Stretch marks. 445 00:33:56,403 --> 00:33:58,304 Say goodbye to romance. 446 00:34:00,730 --> 00:34:03,476 I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? 447 00:34:04,144 --> 00:34:05,245 She's right! 448 00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:09,916 A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. 449 00:34:09,983 --> 00:34:12,752 How did Shrek react when you told him? 450 00:34:12,819 --> 00:34:17,190 When he first found out, Shrek said... 451 00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:32,500 Onward, my new friends! 452 00:34:32,105 --> 00:34:34,274 To our happily ever afters! 453 00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:42,282 Now, bombs away! 454 00:34:58,665 --> 00:35:01,668 Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. 455 00:35:01,735 --> 00:35:04,404 -His name's not Peter. -Shut it, Wendy. 456 00:35:22,822 --> 00:35:25,992 Enough pillaging! To the castle! 457 00:35:44,678 --> 00:35:46,379 You go! Take care of the baby! 458 00:35:46,446 --> 00:35:49,416 Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! 459 00:35:54,540 --> 00:35:55,889 Everyone in! Now! 460 00:35:55,955 --> 00:35:58,291 Come on! Put some back into it! 461 00:36:01,394 --> 00:36:03,363 We don't have time. Now go! 462 00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:05,650 Quickly, ladies! 463 00:36:07,670 --> 00:36:09,769 We'll hold them off as long as we can! 464 00:36:24,617 --> 00:36:27,287 Where are Shrek and Fiona? 465 00:36:27,387 --> 00:36:30,390 -The name doesn't ring a bell. -No bell. 466 00:36:31,324 --> 00:36:34,594 I suggest you freaks cooperate 467 00:36:34,661 --> 00:36:37,263 with the new King of Far Far Away! 468 00:36:37,330 --> 00:36:41,801 The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! 469 00:36:41,901 --> 00:36:43,436 -Hook! -Right! 470 00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:46,239 Avast, ye cookie. 471 00:36:48,842 --> 00:36:50,410 Start talking. 472 00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:55,982 -Gingy! -Papa! 473 00:36:56,820 --> 00:36:57,417 Settle down now. 474 00:37:11,431 --> 00:37:14,801 On the good ship Lollipop 475 00:37:14,868 --> 00:37:18,438 It's a sweet trip to the candy shop 476 00:37:18,505 --> 00:37:19,673 You! 477 00:37:20,707 --> 00:37:22,275 You can't lie. 478 00:37:22,776 --> 00:37:26,780 So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek? 479 00:37:29,616 --> 00:37:32,619 Well, I don't know where he's not. 480 00:37:32,686 --> 00:37:34,888 You don't know where Shrek is? 481 00:37:34,988 --> 00:37:37,190 It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume 482 00:37:37,290 --> 00:37:42,195 that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. 483 00:37:42,295 --> 00:37:43,697 So you do know where he is! 484 00:37:43,797 --> 00:37:46,533 On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less 485 00:37:46,633 --> 00:37:48,802 not definitely rejecting the idea 486 00:37:48,868 --> 00:37:52,706 that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... 487 00:37:52,806 --> 00:37:56,209 -Stop it! -I do not know where he shouldn't be. 488 00:37:56,309 --> 00:37:58,511 If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. 489 00:37:58,578 --> 00:38:02,415 Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... 490 00:38:02,515 --> 00:38:05,151 On the good ship Lollipop 491 00:38:05,218 --> 00:38:06,586 Enough! 492 00:38:06,686 --> 00:38:09,556 Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! 493 00:38:12,692 --> 00:38:14,327 He's bringing back the next heir? 494 00:38:14,394 --> 00:38:15,495 No! 495 00:38:16,996 --> 00:38:20,233 Hook! Get rid of this new "King." 496 00:38:20,333 --> 00:38:22,235 But bring Shrek to me. 497 00:38:22,335 --> 00:38:25,205 I have something special in mind for him. 498 00:38:25,271 --> 00:38:27,741 He'll never fall for your tricks! 499 00:38:29,275 --> 00:38:30,577 Oh, boy. 500 00:38:40,887 --> 00:38:43,289 I can't believe it. Me, a king? 501 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:47,260 I knew I came from royalty, but 502 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,596 I figured everyone forgot about me. 503 00:38:49,696 --> 00:38:53,199 Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. 504 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,869 Really? Wow. 505 00:38:57,203 --> 00:38:59,806 But I know it's not all fun and games. 506 00:38:59,906 --> 00:39:02,542 It really is all fun and games, actually. 507 00:39:02,609 --> 00:39:06,446 Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. 508 00:39:06,546 --> 00:39:10,784 By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle. 509 00:39:10,884 --> 00:39:13,753 Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle. 510 00:39:14,788 --> 00:39:17,957 Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. 511 00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:19,626 This is going to be huge. 512 00:39:19,726 --> 00:39:23,797 Parties, princesses, castles. 513 00:39:23,897 --> 00:39:25,265 Princesses. 514 00:39:26,399 --> 00:39:27,767 You'll be living in the lap of luxury. 515 00:39:27,834 --> 00:39:30,303 The finest chefs will wait for your order. 516 00:39:30,403 --> 00:39:33,740 And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. 517 00:39:33,807 --> 00:39:34,974 What do they do? 518 00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:39,746 Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. 519 00:39:40,246 --> 00:39:42,349 -Poisoned? -Or too salty. 520 00:39:42,449 --> 00:39:45,919 Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. 521 00:39:45,985 --> 00:39:48,655 -Bodyguards? -All of them willing at a moment's notice 522 00:39:48,755 --> 00:39:51,758 to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. 523 00:39:51,825 --> 00:39:53,930 Really? 524 00:39:53,159 --> 00:39:56,996 The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. 525 00:39:57,970 --> 00:39:58,698 Make sure they don't die of famine! 526 00:39:58,798 --> 00:40:00,500 -Or plague. -Plague is bad. 527 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,937 The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. 528 00:40:05,171 --> 00:40:06,840 Festering sores! 529 00:40:07,474 --> 00:40:09,776 You are one funny kitty cat. 530 00:40:10,276 --> 00:40:11,211 What did I say? 531 00:40:11,311 --> 00:40:14,280 We don't want Artie getting the wrong idea. 532 00:40:15,648 --> 00:40:16,816 Artie? 533 00:40:20,954 --> 00:40:24,624 -There goes my hip! -Artie! What are you doing? 534 00:40:26,326 --> 00:40:28,294 What does it look like? 535 00:40:31,164 --> 00:40:33,733 This really isn't up to you. 536 00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:36,970 I don't know anything about being king! 537 00:40:37,370 --> 00:40:39,139 You'll learn on the job! 538 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,310 -Sorry, but I'm going back. -Back to what? 539 00:40:44,878 --> 00:40:46,413 Being a loser? 540 00:40:49,482 --> 00:40:53,860 -Now look what you did! -Look what I did? 541 00:40:53,186 --> 00:40:55,522 Who's holding the wheel, chief? 542 00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:57,991 Shrek! 543 00:41:10,337 --> 00:41:12,339 Land ho! 544 00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:26,686 How humiliating. 545 00:41:27,787 --> 00:41:30,357 Oh, nice going, Your Highness. 546 00:41:30,423 --> 00:41:34,940 Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? 547 00:41:34,694 --> 00:41:37,764 If you think this is getting you out of anything, it isn't. 548 00:41:37,864 --> 00:41:41,901 We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another. 549 00:41:41,968 --> 00:41:44,437 And you're going to be a father! 550 00:41:44,537 --> 00:41:45,772 What? 551 00:41:46,606 --> 00:41:48,575 You just said "father." 552 00:41:48,641 --> 00:41:50,910 King! You're going to be king! 553 00:41:50,977 --> 00:41:53,713 "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. 554 00:41:55,281 --> 00:41:56,716 Where are you going? 555 00:41:56,783 --> 00:41:59,119 Far Far Away... from you! 556 00:41:59,219 --> 00:42:01,621 Get back here, young man! 557 00:42:03,390 --> 00:42:05,825 Boss? I don't think he's coming back. 558 00:42:05,925 --> 00:42:09,295 Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. 559 00:42:09,396 --> 00:42:12,899 When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? 560 00:42:12,966 --> 00:42:15,568 Come on. Why would I do that? 561 00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:18,905 Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me. 562 00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:24,100 Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. 563 00:42:25,278 --> 00:42:27,113 You're right, Donkey. 564 00:42:29,349 --> 00:42:31,151 What about this? 565 00:42:31,251 --> 00:42:34,754 -Shrek! -Come on. It's just a joke. 566 00:42:36,623 --> 00:42:37,924 Still... 567 00:42:54,507 --> 00:42:56,420 Listen, Artie. 568 00:42:56,843 --> 00:43:01,948 If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. 569 00:43:02,150 --> 00:43:06,152 I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. 570 00:43:06,219 --> 00:43:07,721 But what I am screamin' is, 571 00:43:07,821 --> 00:43:11,858 yo, check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! 572 00:43:11,958 --> 00:43:14,527 If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying 573 00:43:14,627 --> 00:43:17,197 ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! 574 00:43:17,297 --> 00:43:19,666 "You're getting on my last nerve." 575 00:43:19,733 --> 00:43:22,869 And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! 576 00:43:24,571 --> 00:43:25,805 Help! 577 00:43:25,872 --> 00:43:28,541 I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! 578 00:43:28,641 --> 00:43:32,479 -Artie, wait. -Come on! Help! Hello? 579 00:43:34,314 --> 00:43:37,884 Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. 580 00:43:37,984 --> 00:43:40,320 Welcome to my serenity circle. 581 00:43:40,387 --> 00:43:44,591 Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. 582 00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,726 Now prepare... 583 00:43:52,165 --> 00:43:55,100 I knew I should have got that warranty! 584 00:43:57,871 --> 00:43:59,272 Mr Merlin? 585 00:43:59,372 --> 00:44:00,774 You know this guy? 586 00:44:00,874 --> 00:44:01,908 Yeah. 587 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,612 He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. 588 00:44:05,712 --> 00:44:08,848 Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. 589 00:44:08,915 --> 00:44:11,840 At the request of my therapist, 590 00:44:11,184 --> 00:44:14,888 and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquillity of nature 591 00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:17,257 to discover my divine purpose. 592 00:44:18,692 --> 00:44:22,950 Can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? 593 00:44:22,195 --> 00:44:23,196 No. 594 00:44:23,263 --> 00:44:26,533 Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? 595 00:44:29,703 --> 00:44:30,937 It's organic. 596 00:44:31,370 --> 00:44:33,707 Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. 597 00:44:33,773 --> 00:44:36,710 We need directions to Far Far Away. 598 00:44:36,776 --> 00:44:39,112 "We"? Who said I was going with you? 599 00:44:39,212 --> 00:44:40,447 I did. 600 00:44:40,547 --> 00:44:43,817 People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. 601 00:44:43,917 --> 00:44:46,619 If the job's so great, you do it. 602 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:50,957 Understand this, kid. No more Mr Nice Guy from here on out. 603 00:44:51,570 --> 00:44:52,926 That was your Mr Nice Guy? 604 00:44:52,992 --> 00:44:55,662 I know, and I'm going to miss him. 605 00:44:55,762 --> 00:44:59,666 Why don't you go terrorise a village and leave me alone! 606 00:44:59,766 --> 00:45:02,302 Was that a crack about ogres? 607 00:45:02,402 --> 00:45:04,437 You get your royal highness to Far Far Away 608 00:45:04,504 --> 00:45:05,972 before I kick it there! 609 00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,641 Now, which way am I kicking? 610 00:45:08,742 --> 00:45:11,344 I could tell you, but since you're in the midst 611 00:45:11,444 --> 00:45:13,680 of a self-destructive rage spiral, 612 00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:15,749 it would be karmically irresponsible. 613 00:45:15,815 --> 00:45:19,953 Self-destructive... Are you going to help us or not? 614 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,789 Most definitely, but only after you 615 00:45:22,856 --> 00:45:26,159 take the journey to your soul! 616 00:45:26,259 --> 00:45:28,161 don't think so. 617 00:45:28,261 --> 00:45:31,598 It's either that or primal scream therapy. 618 00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:36,169 All right. Journey to the soul. 619 00:45:36,970 --> 00:45:41,441 Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth 620 00:45:41,508 --> 00:45:44,440 and tell me what you see. 621 00:45:47,614 --> 00:45:49,349 Ooh, charades! 622 00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:54,187 Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! 623 00:45:54,287 --> 00:45:56,456 Okay, monster, go for it. 624 00:46:05,799 --> 00:46:07,367 I see a rainbow pony. 625 00:46:07,467 --> 00:46:11,171 -Excellent work! Now the boy. -This is lame. 626 00:46:11,237 --> 00:46:13,673 You're lame! Just go for it. 627 00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:16,309 Okay. 628 00:46:17,210 --> 00:46:20,847 There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest. 629 00:46:21,481 --> 00:46:23,483 Yes! Stay with it! 630 00:46:24,751 --> 00:46:26,920 The dad just flew away. 631 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,522 Why did he leave the little bird all alone? 632 00:46:29,589 --> 00:46:32,826 It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. 633 00:46:33,827 --> 00:46:35,762 It's going to fall! 634 00:46:40,667 --> 00:46:44,404 Proper head case you are. Really messed up. 635 00:46:48,174 --> 00:46:52,245 Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. 636 00:46:52,345 --> 00:46:53,680 So what? 637 00:47:05,910 --> 00:47:06,726 Look, Artie... 638 00:47:12,198 --> 00:47:15,101 Just thought I'd help set the mood 639 00:47:15,201 --> 00:47:18,380 for your big heart-to-heart chat. 640 00:47:26,913 --> 00:47:30,450 I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. 641 00:47:32,452 --> 00:47:34,487 Even ogres get scared. 642 00:47:35,755 --> 00:47:38,391 You know, once in a while. 643 00:47:40,460 --> 00:47:43,897 I know you want me to be king, but I can't. 644 00:47:44,431 --> 00:47:47,400 I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. 645 00:47:48,134 --> 00:47:50,970 Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. 646 00:47:51,710 --> 00:47:54,240 He dumped me at that school first chance he got 647 00:47:54,741 --> 00:47:57,177 and I never heard from him again. 648 00:47:58,745 --> 00:48:02,248 My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. 649 00:48:02,982 --> 00:48:05,352 doubt he was worse than mine. 650 00:48:06,119 --> 00:48:07,320 Oh, yeah? 651 00:48:07,420 --> 00:48:09,656 My father was an ogre. 652 00:48:09,756 --> 00:48:11,491 He tried to eat me. 653 00:48:12,459 --> 00:48:14,627 I guess I should have realised it. 654 00:48:14,694 --> 00:48:16,463 He bathed me in barbecue sauce 655 00:48:16,529 --> 00:48:19,466 and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. 656 00:48:20,934 --> 00:48:23,360 I guess that's pretty bad. 657 00:48:25,705 --> 00:48:27,607 It may be hard to believe, 658 00:48:27,674 --> 00:48:30,944 what, with my obvious charm and good looks, 659 00:48:31,110 --> 00:48:33,713 but people used to think I was a monster. 660 00:48:34,714 --> 00:48:38,218 And for a long time, I believed them. 661 00:48:40,453 --> 00:48:41,855 But after a while, 662 00:48:41,955 --> 00:48:45,580 you learn to ignore the names people call you 663 00:48:45,825 --> 00:48:48,161 and just trust who you are. 664 00:48:50,130 --> 00:48:53,133 You know, you're okay, Shrek. 665 00:48:54,300 --> 00:48:58,571 You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap. 666 00:48:59,172 --> 00:49:00,740 Thanks, Artie. 667 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,511 The soap's because you stink really bad. 668 00:49:05,812 --> 00:49:08,810 Yeah, I got that. 669 00:49:12,652 --> 00:49:14,821 This place is filthy! 670 00:49:15,522 --> 00:49:17,357 feel like a hobo. 671 00:49:18,324 --> 00:49:21,610 I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. 672 00:49:21,161 --> 00:49:25,432 Everything's always about you. It's not like your attitude is helping. 673 00:49:25,532 --> 00:49:29,436 Maybe it just bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. 674 00:49:29,536 --> 00:49:31,838 You mean in that rigged election? 675 00:49:31,905 --> 00:49:34,908 Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, 676 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,577 "let down thy golden extensions!" 677 00:49:37,677 --> 00:49:43,160 Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together! 678 00:49:46,286 --> 00:49:49,890 So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly 679 00:49:49,189 --> 00:49:51,291 in this stinkhole until we rot. 680 00:49:51,391 --> 00:49:55,261 No, we get inside and find out what Charming's up to. 681 00:49:55,362 --> 00:49:57,263 I know he's a jerk and everything, 682 00:49:57,364 --> 00:50:01,534 but that Charming makes me hotter than July. 683 00:50:03,536 --> 00:50:04,871 That's it! 684 00:50:32,899 --> 00:50:34,934 Come on! This way! 685 00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:36,603 Rapunzel, wait! 686 00:50:46,790 --> 00:50:47,847 Charming, let go of her. 687 00:50:47,947 --> 00:50:50,350 But why would I want to do that? 688 00:50:53,386 --> 00:50:58,291 Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. 689 00:51:02,629 --> 00:51:04,531 Rapunzel, how could you? 690 00:51:04,631 --> 00:51:06,132 Jealous much? 691 00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:09,302 Soon you'll be back where you started, 692 00:51:09,369 --> 00:51:11,971 scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. 693 00:51:12,380 --> 00:51:15,642 That is, if I let you last the week. 694 00:51:17,811 --> 00:51:20,547 Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. 695 00:51:20,647 --> 00:51:24,651 Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. 696 00:51:25,752 --> 00:51:27,887 Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. 697 00:51:27,987 --> 00:51:31,524 Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. 698 00:51:31,591 --> 00:51:33,930 Sorry? 699 00:51:33,193 --> 00:51:37,564 Don't you realise once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away, 700 00:51:37,664 --> 00:51:39,165 he's doomed? 701 00:52:18,705 --> 00:52:20,640 Look out! They got a piano! 702 00:52:20,740 --> 00:52:24,440 Kill them all, except the fat one. 703 00:52:24,110 --> 00:52:28,281 King Charming has something special in mind for you, ogre. 704 00:52:28,381 --> 00:52:29,816 King Charming? 705 00:52:29,916 --> 00:52:31,317 Attack! 706 00:52:37,757 --> 00:52:39,259 Artie, duck! 707 00:52:53,306 --> 00:52:54,974 Ready the plank! 708 00:53:10,423 --> 00:53:11,925 -Shrek! -Help! 709 00:53:31,344 --> 00:53:32,379 Cowards! 710 00:53:32,479 --> 00:53:34,481 What has Charming done with Fiona? 711 00:53:34,547 --> 00:53:37,450 She's going to get what's coming to her. 712 00:53:38,284 --> 00:53:41,621 And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! 713 00:53:43,189 --> 00:53:46,526 -We've got to save her. -But she's so far far away! 714 00:53:47,293 --> 00:53:49,362 Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. 715 00:53:49,462 --> 00:53:52,565 No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. 716 00:53:52,665 --> 00:53:54,467 I am a buzzing bee. 717 00:53:55,969 --> 00:53:59,390 Mr Merlin? They need a spell to get them, 718 00:53:59,139 --> 00:54:02,342 I mean us, back to Far Far Away. 719 00:54:02,409 --> 00:54:05,712 Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me any more. 720 00:54:05,812 --> 00:54:09,549 How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. 721 00:54:09,649 --> 00:54:12,180 Please. I know you can do it. 722 00:54:12,850 --> 00:54:14,154 I said forget it! 723 00:54:14,220 --> 00:54:15,488 But... 724 00:54:22,929 --> 00:54:24,531 What's with you? 725 00:54:25,832 --> 00:54:28,601 It's just so hard, you know? 726 00:54:29,769 --> 00:54:33,373 They need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 727 00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:36,543 'Cause there's a really bad man. 728 00:54:36,609 --> 00:54:38,378 It's just so hard! 729 00:54:39,679 --> 00:54:44,184 -Take it easy. -No! I don't think you understand! 730 00:54:44,284 --> 00:54:48,788 There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. 731 00:54:48,888 --> 00:54:50,523 Have a heart, old man. 732 00:54:50,590 --> 00:54:55,862 They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them? 733 00:54:59,132 --> 00:55:00,533 Okay. 734 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:02,602 I'll go get my things. 735 00:55:05,438 --> 00:55:08,375 -Piece of cake. -Well, well. 736 00:55:08,441 --> 00:55:10,276 You want eggs with that ham? 737 00:55:10,377 --> 00:55:14,314 I am a little rusty, so there could be some side effects. 738 00:55:14,414 --> 00:55:15,648 -Side effects? -Don't worry. 739 00:55:15,749 --> 00:55:19,386 Whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful, 740 00:55:19,452 --> 00:55:22,322 it will wear off eventually. I think. 741 00:55:24,557 --> 00:55:26,960 -Oops. -You sure about this? 742 00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,930 If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. 743 00:55:31,631 --> 00:55:33,466 Even if his robe doesn't cover... 744 00:55:33,566 --> 00:55:36,336 Alacritous expeditious, 745 00:55:36,436 --> 00:55:38,972 a-zoomy-zoom-zoom! 746 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,908 Let's help our friends get back... 747 00:55:44,778 --> 00:55:46,790 Soon! 748 00:55:53,486 --> 00:55:54,921 It worked! 749 00:56:03,930 --> 00:56:07,133 I haven't been on a trip like that since college! 750 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:08,535 Donkey? 751 00:56:08,635 --> 00:56:10,970 What? Is something in my teeth? 752 00:56:13,773 --> 00:56:14,874 Oh, no! 753 00:56:14,974 --> 00:56:19,279 I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick! 754 00:56:21,281 --> 00:56:24,984 At least you don't look like some kind of bloated pinata! 755 00:56:25,510 --> 00:56:27,200 You should think about going on a diet! 756 00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:31,725 You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! 757 00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,296 So you two think this is funny? 758 00:56:38,498 --> 00:56:40,333 I'm really sorry, guys. 759 00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,802 Don't be. You got us back, kid. 760 00:56:48,808 --> 00:56:50,877 How in the Hans Christian Andersen 761 00:56:50,977 --> 00:56:53,546 am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? 762 00:56:53,646 --> 00:56:56,549 Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. 763 00:56:58,351 --> 00:57:02,155 They were made in Madrid by the finest... 764 00:57:02,222 --> 00:57:04,524 You'll learn to control that. 765 00:57:06,926 --> 00:57:08,328 Seriously. Ow! 766 00:57:08,395 --> 00:57:12,265 You need some comfort inserts or arch support or something. 767 00:57:18,672 --> 00:57:22,909 Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... 768 00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:24,344 Pinocchio! 769 00:57:25,110 --> 00:57:27,113 Shrek! Help me! 770 00:57:27,213 --> 00:57:30,417 -What happened? -Charming and the villains took over! 771 00:57:30,517 --> 00:57:31,584 They attacked us. 772 00:57:31,685 --> 00:57:34,354 Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's... 773 00:57:34,421 --> 00:57:35,955 She's what? What? 774 00:57:37,891 --> 00:57:40,126 Puss! Loan me five bucks. 775 00:57:40,226 --> 00:57:42,362 You heard him. Help the brother out. 776 00:57:42,429 --> 00:57:44,764 Do you see any pockets on me? 777 00:57:44,864 --> 00:57:46,533 Hold on a second. 778 00:57:49,690 --> 00:57:53,273 I had no idea, really. I... I swear. 779 00:57:54,741 --> 00:57:56,810 Quick! Where is Fiona? 780 00:57:56,910 --> 00:57:59,412 Charming has her locked away someplace. 781 00:57:59,479 --> 00:58:00,647 You have to find him! 782 00:58:00,747 --> 00:58:03,283 He's probably getting ready for the show! 783 00:58:03,383 --> 00:58:06,219 Wait, Pinocchio! What show? 784 00:58:11,391 --> 00:58:13,460 "It's a Happily Ever After After All." 785 00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,229 "Shrek's final performance"? 786 00:58:16,896 --> 00:58:20,300 Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! 787 00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:23,803 I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. 788 00:58:23,903 --> 00:58:25,672 The ogre! Get him! 789 00:58:26,606 --> 00:58:28,408 Don't worry, jefe. 790 00:58:28,475 --> 00:58:29,909 I got this. 791 00:58:36,416 --> 00:58:37,817 Kill it! 792 00:58:38,418 --> 00:58:39,619 Look. 793 00:58:39,686 --> 00:58:42,422 Don't you know who he thinks he is? 794 00:58:42,489 --> 00:58:43,590 How dare you! 795 00:58:43,656 --> 00:58:45,910 We're dealing with amateurs. 796 00:58:45,158 --> 00:58:48,328 He's a star, people! Hello? 797 00:58:48,428 --> 00:58:50,330 I'm so sorry about this, Mr Shrek. 798 00:58:50,430 --> 00:58:51,831 I'm going to lose it! 799 00:58:51,931 --> 00:58:54,200 Is everything ready? 800 00:58:54,300 --> 00:58:56,669 You did get the list for the dressing room? 801 00:58:56,770 --> 00:58:59,390 Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. 802 00:58:59,139 --> 00:59:02,342 And I hope you have the saffron-corn with Jalapeno honey butter. 803 00:59:02,442 --> 00:59:05,545 Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state 804 00:59:05,645 --> 00:59:07,681 without jalapeno honey butter! 805 00:59:07,781 --> 00:59:09,315 I just lost it. 806 00:59:10,116 --> 00:59:12,385 They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. 807 00:59:12,485 --> 00:59:15,722 Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! 808 00:59:17,857 --> 00:59:20,360 "With this sword, I do..." 809 00:59:20,460 --> 00:59:21,494 No. "With..." 810 00:59:21,561 --> 00:59:25,899 "With this sword, I do smote thee!" 811 00:59:25,999 --> 00:59:28,668 Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"? 812 00:59:28,735 --> 00:59:30,570 don't think that's a word. 813 00:59:30,670 --> 00:59:34,974 Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... 814 00:59:36,309 --> 00:59:40,213 Shrek attacks me. I pretend to be afraid. 815 00:59:40,313 --> 00:59:44,384 "Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" 816 00:59:44,484 --> 00:59:48,154 Blah, blah, blah. Oh, it just doesn't feel real enough! 817 00:59:50,323 --> 00:59:52,559 Who told you to stop dancing? 818 00:59:52,659 --> 00:59:53,827 Wink and turn. 819 00:59:53,893 --> 00:59:57,163 What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! 820 01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:09,342 Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mommy. 821 01:00:09,409 --> 01:00:11,578 And I assure you, 822 01:00:11,678 --> 01:00:16,683 the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second 823 01:00:17,784 --> 01:00:19,452 we've had to wait. 824 01:00:21,221 --> 01:00:22,288 Break a leg. 825 01:00:22,389 --> 01:00:25,558 On second thought, let me break it for you. 826 01:00:25,625 --> 01:00:26,693 Thank goodness. 827 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,896 I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. 828 01:00:29,963 --> 01:00:31,464 Where's Fiona? 829 01:00:31,564 --> 01:00:32,899 Don't worry. 830 01:00:32,966 --> 01:00:35,735 She and the others are safe, for now. 831 01:00:45,450 --> 01:00:48,548 Let me guess. Arthur. 832 01:00:49,249 --> 01:00:51,251 It's Artie, actually. 833 01:00:51,317 --> 01:00:55,989 This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? 834 01:00:58,391 --> 01:00:59,626 How pathetic. 835 01:00:59,726 --> 01:01:02,228 Stand still, so I won't make a mess. 836 01:01:02,295 --> 01:01:06,166 Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. 837 01:01:06,266 --> 01:01:08,134 "his isn't about him. 838 01:01:08,902 --> 01:01:12,839 Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? 839 01:01:14,274 --> 01:01:18,578 You weren't really next in line for the throne. 840 01:01:19,790 --> 01:01:20,313 I was. 841 01:01:20,413 --> 01:01:23,850 But you said the King asked for me personally. 842 01:01:23,950 --> 01:01:26,953 -Not exactly. -What does that mean? 843 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,956 I said whatever I had to say, all right? 844 01:01:30,230 --> 01:01:33,760 I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. 845 01:01:33,827 --> 01:01:37,364 And you fit the bill. So just go! 846 01:01:40,767 --> 01:01:42,335 You were playing me the whole time. 847 01:01:42,435 --> 01:01:44,637 You catch on real fast, kid. 848 01:01:44,704 --> 01:01:47,807 Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. 849 01:01:54,180 --> 01:01:56,449 You know, for a minute, 850 01:01:57,283 --> 01:01:58,852 -I actually thought... -What? 851 01:01:58,952 --> 01:02:02,288 That he cared about you? He's an ogre. 852 01:02:02,355 --> 01:02:04,190 What did you expect? 853 01:02:14,401 --> 01:02:17,971 You really do have a way with children, Shrek. 854 01:02:30,483 --> 01:02:33,887 Leave me out with the waste 855 01:02:33,987 --> 01:02:37,557 This is not what I do 856 01:02:37,657 --> 01:02:41,261 It's the wrong time 857 01:02:41,361 --> 01:02:43,730 She's pulling me through 858 01:02:43,830 --> 01:02:47,267 It's a small crime 859 01:02:48,100 --> 01:02:50,503 And I got no excuse 860 01:02:50,570 --> 01:02:53,106 And is that all right, yeah? 861 01:02:54,341 --> 01:02:57,410 Is that all right with you? 862 01:02:57,510 --> 01:03:01,348 Is that all right, yeah? 863 01:03:02,248 --> 01:03:06,252 If I give my gun away when it's loaded? 864 01:03:08,555 --> 01:03:13,226 If you don't shoot It how am I supposed to hold it? 865 01:03:16,196 --> 01:03:19,466 Is that all right? Is that all right? 866 01:03:19,566 --> 01:03:21,968 Is that all right with you? 867 01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,104 No 868 01:03:24,204 --> 01:03:25,805 Had we stayed put like I suggested, 869 01:03:25,905 --> 01:03:28,274 we'd be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups. 870 01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:30,610 Yeah, heart-shaped cups. 871 01:03:30,710 --> 01:03:33,380 And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. 872 01:03:33,446 --> 01:03:35,148 Yeah, loganberries. 873 01:03:35,248 --> 01:03:37,117 -Shut up, Cindy. -Yeah, shut up. 874 01:03:37,217 --> 01:03:39,786 -No, you shut up. -Stay out of this. 875 01:03:39,886 --> 01:03:42,489 Who cares who's "running the kingdom"? 876 01:03:43,256 --> 01:03:46,493 -I care. -You should all care. 877 01:03:50,730 --> 01:03:53,233 I have your badge number, tin can! 878 01:03:53,900 --> 01:03:55,668 -Donkey? -Princess! 879 01:03:55,769 --> 01:03:56,970 Puss? 880 01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,974 I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. 881 01:04:01,740 --> 01:04:02,842 -And I'm me! -But you're... 882 01:04:02,942 --> 01:04:06,120 Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is 883 01:04:06,112 --> 01:04:08,148 we went to high school, the boat crashed 884 01:04:08,248 --> 01:04:10,984 and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. 885 01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,253 You poor sweet things. 886 01:04:13,319 --> 01:04:14,587 I don't get it. 887 01:04:14,654 --> 01:04:18,658 The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get? 888 01:04:18,758 --> 01:04:20,960 -Who dat? -Where's Shrek? 889 01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:22,362 Charming has him. 890 01:04:22,462 --> 01:04:26,366 He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! 891 01:04:26,933 --> 01:04:28,535 All right, everyone. 892 01:04:28,635 --> 01:04:31,971 -We need to find a way out now. -You're right. 893 01:04:32,380 --> 01:04:34,274 Ladies, assume the position! 894 01:04:39,279 --> 01:04:41,514 What are you doing? 895 01:04:41,614 --> 01:04:43,490 Waiting to be rescued. 896 01:04:43,149 --> 01:04:44,484 You've got to be kidding me. 897 01:04:44,551 --> 01:04:47,520 What else can we do? We're just four, 898 01:04:48,210 --> 01:04:51,224 I mean three, super-hot princesses, 899 01:04:51,324 --> 01:04:54,794 two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! 900 01:04:56,296 --> 01:05:00,367 Excuse me. Old lady coming through. 901 01:05:09,242 --> 01:05:10,643 Mom! 902 01:05:11,211 --> 01:05:15,810 You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? 903 01:05:15,181 --> 01:05:18,485 Excuse me. There's still one more. 904 01:05:28,561 --> 01:05:30,730 Why don't you just lie down? 905 01:05:33,533 --> 01:05:38,505 Okay, girls, from here on out we take care of business ourselves. 906 01:05:57,390 --> 01:05:58,725 The Far Far Away Theater 907 01:05:58,792 --> 01:06:01,394 at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present 908 01:06:01,461 --> 01:06:02,629 "It's A Happily Ever After After All." 909 01:06:02,729 --> 01:06:05,965 Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. 910 01:06:06,660 --> 01:06:09,402 Oi! No food or beverages in the theatre! 911 01:06:23,283 --> 01:06:24,451 Places, everyone! 912 01:06:29,889 --> 01:06:31,891 -Eas -Sorr 913 01:06:31,958 --> 01:06:34,994 I was showing off for the little one. 914 01:06:35,795 --> 01:06:39,399 It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Come here, beautiful. 915 01:06:42,268 --> 01:06:45,271 Well, she's got your eye. 916 01:06:46,740 --> 01:06:48,942 Who would have thought a monster like me 917 01:06:49,900 --> 01:06:51,678 deserved something as special as you? 918 01:07:32,986 --> 01:07:36,723 Little birdies, take wing 919 01:07:36,823 --> 01:07:39,526 Flitting down from the trees they appear 920 01:07:39,626 --> 01:07:42,529 And to chirp in my ear 921 01:07:43,630 --> 01:07:46,633 All because I sing 922 01:08:16,196 --> 01:08:17,263 Move it! Go! 923 01:08:23,603 --> 01:08:25,171 My babies! 924 01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:28,708 Help! 925 01:09:13,553 --> 01:09:15,555 Hey, how's it going? 926 01:09:25,932 --> 01:09:27,734 O to the K. The coast is clear. 927 01:09:27,801 --> 01:09:30,603 Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! 928 01:09:30,670 --> 01:09:34,307 I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Cool. 929 01:09:34,407 --> 01:09:36,776 recall it was Team Awesome. 930 01:09:36,843 --> 01:09:40,180 -I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. -Okay! 931 01:09:40,280 --> 01:09:43,350 From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome 932 01:09:43,450 --> 01:09:44,984 Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. 933 01:09:45,850 --> 01:09:49,589 Ach du lieber! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us! 934 01:09:50,790 --> 01:09:52,250 Artie! 935 01:09:52,325 --> 01:09:53,860 Wait, wait! 936 01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:55,929 Where is the fire, senor? 937 01:09:55,995 --> 01:09:58,980 Please. Don't act so innocent. 938 01:09:58,164 --> 01:10:01,868 You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. 939 01:10:01,968 --> 01:10:03,670 It's not like it seems. 940 01:10:03,770 --> 01:10:06,606 It's not? I think it seems pretty clear. 941 01:10:06,940 --> 01:10:09,342 He was using me. That's all. 942 01:10:09,442 --> 01:10:11,878 Using you? You really don't get it. 943 01:10:11,978 --> 01:10:14,948 Shrek only said those things to protect you. 944 01:10:15,615 --> 01:10:18,385 Charming was going to kill you, Artie! 945 01:10:18,485 --> 01:10:20,387 Shrek saved your life. 946 01:10:30,830 --> 01:10:32,465 Cue the spot! 947 01:10:36,136 --> 01:10:39,500 I wait alone up here 948 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,420 I'm trapped another day 949 01:10:42,142 --> 01:10:45,211 Locked up here, please set me free 950 01:10:45,311 --> 01:10:48,214 My new life I almost see 951 01:10:48,314 --> 01:10:51,510 A castle, you and me 952 01:10:51,151 --> 01:10:55,588 Yes, a castle, you and me 953 01:10:58,158 --> 01:10:59,392 Cherubs! 954 01:11:03,530 --> 01:11:06,933 77s I, 77s I Upon my regal steed 955 01:11:07,330 --> 01:11:08,768 Princess, my love 956 01:11:08,868 --> 01:11:11,671 At last you shall be freed I'm strong 957 01:11:11,738 --> 01:11:14,407 And brave And dashing my way there 958 01:11:14,507 --> 01:11:19,346 With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! 959 01:11:21,810 --> 01:11:24,751 -Through the blistering desert -Hot! 960 01:11:24,851 --> 01:11:27,787 -Across the stormiest sea -Wet! 961 01:11:27,887 --> 01:11:31,570 -Facing creatures so vile -Foul! 962 01:11:31,124 --> 01:11:34,928 So you can gaze upon me! 963 01:11:37,300 --> 01:11:39,265 I knew you'd come for me 964 01:11:39,366 --> 01:11:42,936 And now we finally meet 965 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:44,871 I knew you'd wait 966 01:11:44,938 --> 01:11:49,476 And from my plate of love you'd eat 967 01:12:09,295 --> 01:12:12,499 Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? 968 01:12:12,599 --> 01:12:14,467 Will Charming fight or flee? 969 01:12:14,567 --> 01:12:15,802 Please rescue me! 970 01:12:15,902 --> 01:12:17,804 From this monstrosity! 971 01:12:17,904 --> 01:12:19,806 Fear thee not, honey lamb! 972 01:12:19,906 --> 01:12:24,310 I will slice this thing up like a ham! 973 01:12:24,411 --> 01:12:25,478 Oh, boy. 974 01:12:25,578 --> 01:12:28,948 You are about to enter a world of pain 975 01:12:29,150 --> 01:12:32,686 with which you are not familiar! 976 01:12:37,457 --> 01:12:41,861 It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. 977 01:12:45,465 --> 01:12:47,434 "Prepare, foul beast." 978 01:12:49,102 --> 01:12:52,605 Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! 979 01:12:53,106 --> 01:12:56,309 Could you kill me and then sing? 980 01:12:57,711 --> 01:12:59,120 Be quiet! 981 01:12:59,112 --> 01:13:03,550 I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. 982 01:13:04,617 --> 01:13:07,387 -Thank you. -Do they come in men's sizes? 983 01:13:10,290 --> 01:13:11,991 Now that be funny! 984 01:13:12,392 --> 01:13:13,727 Enough! 985 01:13:16,496 --> 01:13:20,533 Now you'll finally know what it's like 986 01:13:20,633 --> 01:13:24,300 to have everything you worked for, 987 01:13:24,700 --> 01:13:28,208 everything that's precious to you, taken away. 988 01:13:28,308 --> 01:13:31,411 Now you'll know how I felt. 989 01:13:38,918 --> 01:13:40,420 Sausage roll! 990 01:13:57,904 --> 01:14:00,607 Pray for mercy from Puss! 991 01:14:00,707 --> 01:14:02,175 And Donkey! 992 01:14:14,621 --> 01:14:16,890 Hi, honey. 993 01:14:16,189 --> 01:14:18,792 Sorry we're late. You okay? 994 01:14:18,892 --> 01:14:21,361 Much better, now that you're here. 995 01:14:23,963 --> 01:14:26,599 So, Charming, you want to let me out of these 996 01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:28,902 so we can settle this ogre-to-man? 997 01:14:28,968 --> 01:14:33,390 Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a better idea. 998 01:14:49,389 --> 01:14:51,624 -Fiona! -No! Let go of me! 999 01:14:51,725 --> 01:14:54,894 You will not ruin things this time, ogre. 1000 01:14:54,961 --> 01:14:56,262 Kill it. 1001 01:14:59,799 --> 01:15:01,568 Everybody, stop! 1002 01:15:03,670 --> 01:15:05,739 Oh, what is it now? 1003 01:15:05,805 --> 01:15:07,730 Artie? 1004 01:15:16,916 --> 01:15:19,953 Who thinks we need to settle things this way? 1005 01:15:23,590 --> 01:15:27,160 You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? 1006 01:15:27,260 --> 01:15:30,830 But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. 1007 01:15:30,930 --> 01:15:33,800 You never wish you could be something else? 1008 01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:37,337 Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. 1009 01:15:37,437 --> 01:15:40,600 You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack! 1010 01:15:40,106 --> 01:15:43,510 What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work 1011 01:15:43,610 --> 01:15:45,178 when the whole world's against you. 1012 01:15:45,278 --> 01:15:47,130 Right. Thanks, Ed. 1013 01:15:48,314 --> 01:15:51,785 Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. 1014 01:15:51,851 --> 01:15:53,219 But you know, 1015 01:15:53,319 --> 01:15:56,122 a good friend once told me 1016 01:15:56,189 --> 01:16:00,660 just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre, 1017 01:16:01,695 --> 01:16:03,730 or just some loser, 1018 01:16:05,165 --> 01:16:07,200 doesn't mean you are one. 1019 01:16:09,969 --> 01:16:14,700 What matters most is what you think of yourself. 1020 01:16:14,740 --> 01:16:18,378 If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be, 1021 01:16:18,478 --> 01:16:22,248 the only person standing in your way is you. 1022 01:16:22,349 --> 01:16:23,817 -Me? -Get him! 1023 01:16:23,917 --> 01:16:25,485 No, no, no! 1024 01:16:25,552 --> 01:16:28,488 What I mean is each of you, 1025 01:16:28,988 --> 01:16:31,224 is standing in your own way. 1026 01:16:35,161 --> 01:16:37,731 I always wanted to play the flute. 1027 01:16:37,831 --> 01:16:41,234 I'd like to open up a spa, in France! 1028 01:16:41,334 --> 01:16:43,169 I grow daffodils. 1029 01:16:44,104 --> 01:16:46,720 And they're beautiful. 1030 01:17:34,788 --> 01:17:37,757 A new era finally begins! 1031 01:17:39,893 --> 01:17:42,228 Now all of you 1032 01:17:42,295 --> 01:17:44,230 bow before your King! 1033 01:17:51,171 --> 01:17:53,506 You need to work on your aim. 1034 01:17:55,909 --> 01:17:58,945 This was supposed to be my happily ever after! 1035 01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:01,514 Well, you need to keep looking 1036 01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:05,819 because I'm not giving up mine. 1037 01:18:10,724 --> 01:18:11,925 Mommy? 1038 01:18:23,203 --> 01:18:25,305 It's yours if you want it. 1039 01:18:25,972 --> 01:18:28,308 But this time it's your choice. 1040 01:18:50,964 --> 01:18:52,650 Author! 1041 01:18:56,870 --> 01:19:00,407 Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! 1042 01:19:00,507 --> 01:19:02,575 Excuse me. That's my seat. 1043 01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:06,120 Okay, Senor Hocusy-Pocusy, 1044 01:19:06,790 --> 01:19:08,882 the time has come to rectify some wrongs! 1045 01:19:08,948 --> 01:19:11,418 Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. 1046 01:19:11,518 --> 01:19:12,686 Please say you didn't. 1047 01:19:12,752 --> 01:19:14,721 All right! Look. 1048 01:19:14,788 --> 01:19:18,591 You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort, 1049 01:19:18,692 --> 01:19:21,270 but this should do the trick. 1050 01:19:25,231 --> 01:19:27,567 -Are you... -I'm me again! 1051 01:19:27,667 --> 01:19:29,936 -And I am not you! -All right! 1052 01:19:31,571 --> 01:19:32,739 Oops. 1053 01:19:34,941 --> 01:19:35,942 Never mind. 1054 01:19:40,180 --> 01:19:44,284 What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. 1055 01:19:44,384 --> 01:19:47,954 Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. 1056 01:20:08,775 --> 01:20:10,430 Finally. 1057 01:20:16,583 --> 01:20:17,917 Dada. 1058 01:20:20,860 --> 01:20:24,524 Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place 1059 01:20:24,624 --> 01:20:26,659 smell Shrek Junior! 1060 01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:29,996 Where else could a creep like me 1061 01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:32,499 Meet such a pretty face 1062 01:20:32,599 --> 01:20:36,903 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1063 01:20:39,305 --> 01:20:42,142 Looking up, it's looking like 1064 01:20:42,242 --> 01:20:44,944 My losing streak is done 1065 01:20:46,312 --> 01:20:47,714 Peek-a-boo! 1066 01:20:47,814 --> 01:20:49,149 Peek-a-boo! 1067 01:20:51,785 --> 01:20:53,820 A bouncy, bouncy, boy! 1068 01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,956 Used to always feel like 1069 01:20:57,230 --> 01:20:59,426 Wished that I was dressed better 1070 01:21:00,794 --> 01:21:01,828 Where's the baby? 1071 01:21:01,928 --> 01:21:05,832 Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her 1072 01:21:16,276 --> 01:21:20,280 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1073 01:21:22,982 --> 01:21:25,685 Looking up, it's looking like 1074 01:21:25,752 --> 01:21:28,755 My losing streak is done 1075 01:21:30,757 --> 01:21:33,126 My losing streak is done 1076 01:21:43,870 --> 01:21:46,606 Well, what shall we do now? 1077 01:22:02,956 --> 01:22:04,624 I got it. 1078 01:22:10,864 --> 01:22:15,235 Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! 1079 01:22:15,335 --> 01:22:20,106 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1080 01:22:20,206 --> 01:22:21,241 Again! 1081 01:22:21,341 --> 01:22:22,909 Look at my hips! 1082 01:22:22,976 --> 01:22:28,181 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1083 01:22:28,648 --> 01:22:30,500 Again! 1084 01:22:35,655 --> 01:22:37,290 -Break it down! -Let's go! 1085 01:22:37,390 --> 01:22:39,793 Stiff all in the collar 1086 01:22:41,461 --> 01:22:43,630 Fluffy In the face 1087 01:22:45,632 --> 01:22:48,134 Chit chat chatter trying 1088 01:22:49,836 --> 01:22:52,500 Stuffy in the place 1089 01:22:54,700 --> 01:22:56,843 Thank you for the par-tay 1090 01:22:57,944 --> 01:22:59,646 But I could never stay 1091 01:22:59,746 --> 01:23:01,810 I'm sorry 1092 01:23:01,981 --> 01:23:04,984 I got many things on my mind 1093 01:23:06,119 --> 01:23:08,288 But the word's in the way 1094 01:23:09,422 --> 01:23:14,594 And I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1095 01:23:14,661 --> 01:23:16,162 Again 1096 01:23:17,300 --> 01:23:18,965 Different strokes for different folks 1097 01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:22,936 Thank you for letting me be myself 1098 01:23:23,200 --> 01:23:24,504 Again 1099 01:23:26,673 --> 01:23:28,174 Break it down! 1100 01:23:28,708 --> 01:23:31,878 Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! 1101 01:23:32,879 --> 01:23:34,881 Puss and Donkey, baby! 1102 01:23:35,782 --> 01:23:37,951 Dance to the music 1103 01:23:39,953 --> 01:23:41,821 All night long 1104 01:23:44,570 --> 01:23:46,260 Everyday people 1105 01:23:48,328 --> 01:23:50,497 Sing a simple song 1106 01:23:52,465 --> 01:23:54,434 Mama's so happy 1107 01:23:56,636 --> 01:23:58,638 Mama start to cry 1108 01:24:00,807 --> 01:24:02,742 Papa's still singing 1109 01:24:04,444 --> 01:24:08,140 You can make it if you try So try! 1110 01:24:09,149 --> 01:24:13,190 Thank you for letting me be myself 1111 01:24:13,860 --> 01:24:14,454 Again 1112 01:24:17,624 --> 01:24:21,394 Thank you for letting me be myself 1113 01:24:21,494 --> 01:24:22,829 Again 1114 01:24:23,296 --> 01:24:26,990 Come on, Donkey. Do something right! 1115 01:24:26,199 --> 01:24:29,703 Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! 1116 01:24:29,769 --> 01:24:31,771 Stomp your boots, baby! 1117 01:24:31,871 --> 01:24:34,207 Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! 1118 01:24:34,274 --> 01:24:38,111 Thank you for letting me be myself 1119 01:24:38,211 --> 01:24:39,713 Again 1120 01:24:41,881 --> 01:24:46,386 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1121 01:24:46,486 --> 01:24:47,554 Again 1122 01:24:47,654 --> 01:24:50,900 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1123 01:24:50,190 --> 01:24:53,393 Want to thank you Just to be my 1124 01:24:53,493 --> 01:24:56,896 Because I just want to be my... See? 1125 01:24:56,963 --> 01:24:59,799 Can I, can I thank you! Can I 1126 01:24:59,899 --> 01:25:01,735 Yes! Yes!