1 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:57,390 Once upon a time in a kingdom Far Far Away, 2 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:01,828 the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. 3 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,131 And throughout the land, everyone was happy 4 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,701 until the sun went down 5 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:11,771 and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment 6 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:15,410 that took hold each and every night. 7 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:20,447 Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother 8 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:23,383 who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, 9 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,120 there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. 10 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,892 It was he who would chance the perilous journey 11 00:01:33,590 --> 00:01:36,129 through blistering cold and scorching desert 12 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,631 travelling for many days and nights, 13 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,633 risking life and limb 14 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,237 to reach the Dragon's Keep. 15 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,810 For he was the bravest 16 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,913 and most handsome 17 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,585 in all the land. 18 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,421 And it was destiny that his kiss 19 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:05,825 would break the dreaded curse. 20 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,964 He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower 21 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:16,136 to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, 22 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,305 pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... 23 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,641 What? 24 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:25,145 - Princess Fiona? - No! 25 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,314 Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? 26 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:32,719 - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? 27 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,656 It's so good to be home! 28 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,626 Just you and me and... 29 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,102 Donkey? 30 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:06,600 Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! 31 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,875 Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. 32 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,812 And look at you, Mrs Shrek. How about a side of sugar for the steed? 33 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,148 Donkey, what are you doing here? 34 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,384 I was just taking care of your love nest for you. 35 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:21,855 Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants. 36 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:24,657 - Yeah, and feeding the fish! -1 don't have any fish. 37 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,861 You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. 38 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,864 That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... 39 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:33,700 Will you look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. 40 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:38,710 Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? 41 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,875 Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? 42 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,440 Oh, yeah, that. 43 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:47,714 I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. 44 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,683 So I thought I'd move back in with you guys. 45 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,385 Well, you know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. 46 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:55,221 But Fiona and I are married now. 47 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,658 We need a little time, you know, to be together. 48 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,280 Just with each other. 49 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,231 Alone. 50 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,901 Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. 51 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,400 I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. 52 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,739 - Donkey! - Yes, roomie? 53 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,341 You're bothering me. 54 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,545 Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... 55 00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:21,881 Me and Pinocchio was gonna try to catch a tournament, anyway, 56 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:27,870 so maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. 57 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,259 He'll be fine. Now, where were we? 58 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,330 think I remember. 59 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,600 Donkey! 60 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,970 I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. 61 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,872 But what do you want me to tell these guys? 62 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,452 Enough, Reggie. 63 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,492 "Dearest Princess Fiona: 64 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:09,796 You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far Far Away 65 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:14,134 for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage, 66 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,571 at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing 67 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,607 upon you and your... 68 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,643 ...Prince Charming. 69 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:28,448 Love, the King and Queen of Far Far Away... 70 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,917 ...aka Mom and Dad." 71 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,419 Mom and Dad? 72 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,822 - Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? 73 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,657 - We're not going. - What? 74 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,327 I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked 75 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,530 to see you like this? 76 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,332 Well, they might be a bit surprised. 77 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,636 But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. 78 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,500 And don't worry. They're gonna love you, too. 79 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,842 Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. 80 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:57,811 Will you stop it? They're not like that. 81 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,348 How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? 82 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,851 Come on! You could at least give them a chance. 83 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,986 To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? 84 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,956 No! They just want to give you their blessing. 85 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:14,127 Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? 86 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,663 If you want to be a part of this family, yes. 87 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,832 Who says I want to be part of this family? 88 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,868 You did! When you married me! 89 00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:25,500 Well, there's some fine print for you! 90 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,173 So that's it. You won't come? 91 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:32,479 Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! 92 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,983 Come on, Shrek! We don't want to hit traffic! 93 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,489 Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. 94 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:45,525 Hey, wait for me! 95 00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:54,234 All right, hit it! 96 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,528 - Are we there yet? - No. 97 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,600 - Are we there yet? - Not yet. 98 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,939 - OK, are we there yet? - No. 99 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,975 - Are we there yet? - No! 100 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,777 - Are we there yet? -Yes. 101 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,245 - Really? - No! 102 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,747 - Are we there yet? - No! 103 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,549 - Are we there yet? - No, we are not! 104 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,850 - Are we there yet? - No! 105 00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,154 - Are we there yet? - Are we there yet? 106 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,823 - Hey, that's not funny. - That's not funny. 107 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,492 - That's really immature. - That's really immature. 108 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,661 - This is why nobody likes ogres. - ...why no one likes ogres. 109 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,129 - All right! Your loss! - ...your loss. 110 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,499 - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! 111 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:03,303 This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! 112 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:07,440 The Kingdom of Far Far Away, Donkey. 113 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,644 That's where we're going. Far, far... 114 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,313 ...away! 115 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,983 All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. 116 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,753 Well, find a way to entertain yourself. 117 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:45,110 For five minutes... 118 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:49,182 Could you not be yourself for five minutes! 119 00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,391 Are we there yet? 120 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,860 -Yes! - Oh, finally! 121 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:20,580 It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. 122 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,583 Hey, good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! 123 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,219 Pantyhose! 124 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,994 We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. 125 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,174 Hey, everyone, look! 126 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:03,556 Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade! Yeah! You working that hat. 127 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,200 Swimming pools! Movie stars! 128 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,739 Announcing the long-awaited return 129 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:57,410 of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. 130 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,814 Well, this is it. 131 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,816 - This is it. - This is it. 132 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:04,284 "his is it. 133 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:30,443 Why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. 134 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:38,785 So, you still think this is a good idea? 135 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:43,323 Of course! Look! Mom and Dad look happy to see us. 136 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,527 - Who on earth are they? -1 think that's our little girl. 137 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,997 That's not little! That's a really big problem. 138 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,367 Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? 139 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,704 Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... 140 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:01,508 Happy now? We came. We saw them. 141 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,440 Now let's go before they light the torches. 142 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:07,547 - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. 143 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:08,882 Hey! That was for my own... 144 00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:12,352 Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. 145 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,154 Harold! We have to be... 146 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,223 Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. 147 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,225 Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... 148 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,661 A disaster! There is no way... 149 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,363 - You can do this. - But I really... 150 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,230 - Really... - Really! 151 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,665 ...don't... want... to... be... 152 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,400 ...here! 153 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,504 Mom... 154 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,906 Dad... 155 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,509 I'd like you to meet my husband... 156 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,411 ...Shrek. 157 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,549 Well... 158 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,720 It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. 159 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,258 Excuse me. 160 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:30,163 Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? 161 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,433 That's good. 162 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,503 I guess not. 163 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,305 What do you mean, "not on the list?" Don't tell me you don't know who I am. 164 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:43,309 Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. 165 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,911 I had the hardest time finding this place. 166 00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:47,347 No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! 167 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:50,817 No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. 168 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:54,287 - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - Yep, that's me: the noble steed. 169 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,423 Hey, waiter! How about a bowl for the steed? 170 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,158 Oh, boy. 171 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,195 - Shrek! - Yeah? 172 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:06,199 Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. 173 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,350 No, no. Darling. 174 00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:17,344 So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. 175 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,120 Well... 176 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,514 Shrek owns his own land. 177 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,851 - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! 178 00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:27,721 It's in an enchanted forest... 179 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,156 ...abundant in squirrels 180 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,859 and cute little duckies and... 181 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,662 What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp. 182 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:39,833 - Donkey! - An ogre from a swamp. How original. 183 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:43,636 Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. 184 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,816 It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? 185 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,819 - Indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! 186 00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:03,560 - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, OK? 187 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,892 - For his type, yes. - My type? 188 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:07,360 I got to go to the bathroom. 189 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,997 - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. 190 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,173 Mexican food! My favourite. 191 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:24,440 Well, let's not just sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in. 192 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,512 Don't mind if I do, Lillian. 193 00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:29,416 So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... 194 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,384 Ogres, yes! 195 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,888 Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? 196 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:36,756 Oh, no! No! Of course, not! 197 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:40,260 That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! 198 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,194 -Dad! - Oh, no. 199 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:45,598 We usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! 200 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,234 - Shrek, please! -1 only did that because I loved her. 201 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,404 Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. 202 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,573 You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! 203 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,582 It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. 204 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,221 - Harold! - Shrek! 205 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,289 - Fiona! - Fiona! 206 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,623 - Mom! - Harold... 207 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,726 Donkey! 208 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,144 Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. 209 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,346 You're all... 210 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,182 ...grown up. 211 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,919 - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! 212 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:47,987 I'm your fairy godmother. 213 00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:49,756 I have a fairy godmother? 214 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:55,950 Now don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. 215 00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:58,365 With just a... 216 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,761 Stop! 217 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,430 Look... 218 00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:06,633 Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, 219 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,669 but I really don't need all this. 220 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,941 - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. 221 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,744 Fiona? Fiona? 222 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,918 Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. 223 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:29,689 Fairy Godmother, furniture... 224 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,192 I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. 225 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,862 Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? 226 00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:37,664 Shrek is the one who rescued me. 227 00:21:37,831 --> 00:21:41,634 - But that can't be right. - Oh, great, more relatives! 228 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,503 She's just trying to help. 229 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,806 Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. 230 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,475 - What? - Leaving? I don't want to leave. 231 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,100 When did you decide this? 232 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:52,846 - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... 233 00:21:53,130 --> 00:21:56,182 No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. 234 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:59,686 But remember, dear. If you should ever need me, 235 00:21:59,853 --> 00:22:02,689 happiness is just a teardrop away. 236 00:22:02,856 --> 00:22:05,358 Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. 237 00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,193 Happy, happy, happy... 238 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,290 So I see. 239 00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:11,364 Let's go, Kyle. 240 00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,360 - Very nice, Shrek. - What? 241 00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,505 I told you coming here was a bad idea. 242 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,874 You could have at least tried to get along with my father. 243 00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:24,770 You know, somehow I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, 244 00:22:24,244 --> 00:22:25,545 even if I did want it. 245 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:29,883 Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? 246 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,485 Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? 247 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:36,389 You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... 248 00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:40,393 - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! 249 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:41,895 Well, here's a news flash for you! 250 00:22:42,620 --> 00:22:45,999 Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! 251 00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:55,575 And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. 252 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:05,552 I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. 253 00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:11,424 That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre!" 254 00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:40,653 -1 knew this would happen. - You should. You started it. 255 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:44,791 I can hardly believe that, Lillian. Really! He's the ogre. Not me. 256 00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:48,294 I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. 257 00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:50,163 "his is Fiona's choice. 258 00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:53,967 Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince we picked out for her. 259 00:23:54,134 --> 00:23:58,238 I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this thing? 260 00:23:58,405 --> 00:24:02,275 Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. 261 00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:05,645 I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. 262 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:09,649 You act as if love is totally predictable. 263 00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:12,519 Don't you remember when we were young and... 264 00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:15,622 We used to walk down by the lily pond and... 265 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:18,925 - ...they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. 266 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:20,326 It's not the same! 267 00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:24,464 I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! 268 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:26,833 Oh, stop being such a drama king. 269 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,868 Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! 270 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:34,174 Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! 271 00:24:34,341 --> 00:24:36,142 - Hello, Harold. - What happened? 272 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:41,281 Nothing, dear! Just the old hunting wound playing up a bit! 273 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:44,451 I'll just stretch it out here for a while. 274 00:24:44,617 --> 00:24:45,652 You better get in. 275 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,520 We need to talk. 276 00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:50,190 Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. 277 00:24:50,357 --> 00:24:53,460 Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. 278 00:24:53,626 --> 00:24:57,497 So, how about... We make this a quick visit. What? 279 00:24:58,732 --> 00:25:00,367 Oh, hello. 280 00:25:03,136 --> 00:25:04,671 So, what's new? 281 00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,707 You remember my son, Prince Charming? 282 00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:12,450 Charming! Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. 283 00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:14,214 When did you get back? 284 00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:17,350 Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. 285 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:20,920 After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... 286 00:25:21,870 --> 00:25:24,570 I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... 287 00:25:24,224 --> 00:25:26,526 Mommy can handle this. 288 00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:30,697 He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! 289 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:34,734 He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... 290 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:35,935 And what does he find? 291 00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:39,739 Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess... 292 00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:41,708 - If I can just... - ...is already married. 293 00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:44,244 It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. 294 00:25:44,411 --> 00:25:46,790 Stop the car! 295 00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:49,182 Harold... 296 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:55,550 You force me to do something I really don't want to do. 297 00:25:55,522 --> 00:25:56,923 Where are we? 298 00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:00,600 Well, hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? 299 00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:03,596 My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. 300 00:26:03,863 --> 00:26:07,133 OK... Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chilli rings... 301 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:10,737 - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal and, Harold, 302 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,472 - curly fries? - No, thank you. 303 00:26:12,639 --> 00:26:14,407 Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want? 304 00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:15,608 No, really, I'm fine. 305 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:19,546 Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. 306 00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:20,880 Here you are, dear. 307 00:26:24,384 --> 00:26:28,121 We made a deal, Harold. I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. 308 00:26:28,722 --> 00:26:30,290 Indeed not. 309 00:26:30,457 --> 00:26:33,960 So, Fiona and Charming will be together. 310 00:26:34,127 --> 00:26:37,964 -Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. 311 00:26:38,131 --> 00:26:40,300 Not only for your daughter... 312 00:26:41,601 --> 00:26:43,603 ...but for your Kingdom. 313 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,310 What am I supposed to do about it? 314 00:26:51,911 --> 00:26:53,847 Use your imagination. 315 00:27:32,185 --> 00:27:33,787 Come on in, Your Majesty. 316 00:27:54,374 --> 00:27:55,709 Excuse me. 317 00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:58,440 Do I know you? 318 00:27:58,211 --> 00:28:01,140 No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. 319 00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:04,851 Excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. 320 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,323 There you are. Right. 321 00:28:10,490 --> 00:28:14,694 You see, I need to have someone taken care of. 322 00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:19,990 - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. 323 00:28:19,265 --> 00:28:21,670 He's an ogre. 324 00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:25,905 Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. 325 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,110 There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... 326 00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,112 ...he don't like to be disturbed. 327 00:28:32,278 --> 00:28:34,140 Where could I find him? 328 00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:38,685 Hello? 329 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:42,422 Who dares enter my room? 330 00:28:42,589 --> 00:28:46,920 Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to 331 00:28:46,259 --> 00:28:47,927 about an ogre problem? 332 00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:50,960 You are told correct. 333 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:54,267 But for this, I charge a great deal of money. 334 00:28:54,434 --> 00:28:56,436 Would this be enough? 335 00:29:03,276 --> 00:29:08,381 You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. 336 00:29:08,548 --> 00:29:11,818 Just tell me where I can find this ogre. 337 00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:24,691 Dear Knight, I pray that you take this favour as a token of my gratitude. 338 00:30:46,980 --> 00:30:48,214 Dear Diary... 339 00:30:48,381 --> 00:30:51,170 Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, 340 00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:55,210 but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. 341 00:30:55,889 --> 00:30:58,224 Dad says I'm going away for a while. 342 00:30:58,391 --> 00:31:01,610 Must be like some finishing school or something. 343 00:31:02,620 --> 00:31:03,897 Mom says that when I'm old enough, 344 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,866 my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower 345 00:31:07,330 --> 00:31:08,668 and bring me back to my family. 346 00:31:09,569 --> 00:31:12,706 And we'll all live happily ever after. 347 00:31:14,407 --> 00:31:16,543 Mrs Fiona Charming. 348 00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:19,746 Mrs Fiona Charming. 349 00:31:19,913 --> 00:31:21,348 Mrs Fiona Charming. 350 00:31:21,514 --> 00:31:24,584 Mrs Fiona Charming... 351 00:31:33,426 --> 00:31:36,262 Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 352 00:31:36,429 --> 00:31:42,350 No, no. I was just reading a scary book. 353 00:31:42,435 --> 00:31:47,730 I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behaviour earlier. 354 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,576 -OK... -1 don't know what came over me. 355 00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:53,113 Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... 356 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:56,216 - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me Dad. 357 00:31:56,449 --> 00:32:00,553 Dad. We both acted like ogres. 358 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,900 Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other. 359 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:08,628 Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. 360 00:32:08,795 --> 00:32:10,797 A little father-son time? 361 00:32:12,465 --> 00:32:15,135 I know it would mean the world to Fiona. 362 00:32:23,977 --> 00:32:27,981 Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak? 363 00:32:33,486 --> 00:32:35,488 Face it, Donkey! We're lost. 364 00:32:35,655 --> 00:32:38,591 We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. 365 00:32:38,758 --> 00:32:40,994 What did he say? "Head to the deepest, darkest part of the woods..." 366 00:32:41,161 --> 00:32:42,629 -Aye. - "Past the sinister trees 367 00:32:42,796 --> 00:32:44,664 - with those scary-looking branches." - Check. 368 00:32:44,831 --> 00:32:46,833 Yeah, and there's that bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! 369 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,336 We passed that bush three times already! 370 00:32:49,502 --> 00:32:52,305 Hey, you were the one who said you didn't wanna stop for directions. 371 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:56,810 Great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad 372 00:32:56,976 --> 00:32:58,845 and I end up lost in the woods with you! 373 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,181 All right. You don't have to get all huffy! I'm only trying to help. 374 00:33:01,348 --> 00:33:03,316 know! I know. 375 00:33:05,685 --> 00:33:08,955 - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. 376 00:33:09,122 --> 00:33:12,192 I just really need to make things work with this guy. 377 00:33:12,359 --> 00:33:15,195 Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. 378 00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,504 Well, well, well, Donkey. 379 00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:28,141 I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? 380 00:33:28,308 --> 00:33:30,100 What are you talking about? I ain't purring. 381 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:32,879 Oh, sure. What's next? A hug? 382 00:33:33,460 --> 00:33:36,683 Shrek, donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... 383 00:33:37,550 --> 00:33:39,352 Fear me! If you dare! 384 00:33:40,220 --> 00:33:41,421 Hey, look! A little cat. 385 00:33:41,588 --> 00:33:44,991 - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. 386 00:33:45,158 --> 00:33:46,993 Come here, little kitty, kitty, kitty. 387 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:52,232 Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. 388 00:33:55,235 --> 00:33:59,539 - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! 389 00:34:05,578 --> 00:34:07,914 - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! 390 00:34:08,810 --> 00:34:10,830 Shrek! Hold still! 391 00:34:11,284 --> 00:34:15,188 - Did I miss? - No. You got them. 392 00:34:18,858 --> 00:34:22,395 Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... 393 00:34:24,130 --> 00:34:26,933 ...Puss... In Boots. 394 00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,735 I'll kill that cat! 395 00:34:48,822 --> 00:34:51,658 - Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! 396 00:34:52,959 --> 00:34:54,594 What do you reckon we should do with him? 397 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,629 I say we take the sword and neuter him right here. 398 00:34:56,796 --> 00:34:57,964 Give him the Bob Barker treatment. 399 00:34:58,131 --> 00:35:02,602 No! Please, I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor. 400 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:05,505 I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. 401 00:35:05,672 --> 00:35:08,108 And my father lives off the garbage! 402 00:35:08,274 --> 00:35:11,778 The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... 403 00:35:13,313 --> 00:35:15,982 Fiona's father paid you to do this? 404 00:35:16,149 --> 00:35:18,840 The rich King? Si. 405 00:35:21,121 --> 00:35:24,491 Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. 406 00:35:24,657 --> 00:35:26,326 Come on, Shrek. Don't feel bad. 407 00:35:26,493 --> 00:35:28,328 Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. 408 00:35:28,495 --> 00:35:29,863 Gee, thanks. 409 00:35:32,999 --> 00:35:37,437 Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. 410 00:35:37,604 --> 00:35:38,972 That's what the King said. 411 00:35:41,508 --> 00:35:43,677 Sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. 412 00:35:44,844 --> 00:35:47,714 Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. 413 00:35:47,881 --> 00:35:51,170 Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. 414 00:35:51,451 --> 00:35:52,852 I just... 415 00:35:53,190 --> 00:35:55,188 I just wish I could make her happy. 416 00:35:57,357 --> 00:35:58,858 Hold the phone... 417 00:36:00,827 --> 00:36:02,328 "Happiness." 418 00:36:02,796 --> 00:36:05,198 "A tear drop away." 419 00:36:05,965 --> 00:36:09,369 Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! 420 00:36:10,303 --> 00:36:12,380 Man, where do I begin? 421 00:36:12,205 --> 00:36:15,175 First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. 422 00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,476 I ain't never got over that. 423 00:36:16,643 --> 00:36:20,246 Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. 424 00:36:20,413 --> 00:36:24,484 Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going "Pinata!" 425 00:36:24,651 --> 00:36:25,852 What is a pinata, anyway? 426 00:36:26,190 --> 00:36:28,388 No, Donkey! I need you to cry! 427 00:36:28,555 --> 00:36:32,392 Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to let... 428 00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:37,597 You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... 429 00:36:44,938 --> 00:36:46,940 What? Is it on? Is it on? 430 00:36:48,241 --> 00:36:49,909 This is Fairy Godmother. 431 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,847 I'm either away from my desk or with a client. But if you come by the office, 432 00:36:54,140 --> 00:36:56,850 we'll be glad to make you a personal appointment. 433 00:36:57,170 --> 00:36:58,752 Have a "happy ever after." 434 00:37:03,189 --> 00:37:05,358 Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? 435 00:37:05,525 --> 00:37:06,626 All right, that's more like it! 436 00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:08,928 Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! 437 00:37:12,632 --> 00:37:17,237 - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. 438 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:19,873 On my honour, I am obliged to accompany you 439 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,609 until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine. 440 00:37:22,776 --> 00:37:26,646 I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. 441 00:37:26,813 --> 00:37:29,549 Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? 442 00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:41,728 - Shrek! - Come on, Donkey. Look at him... 443 00:37:41,895 --> 00:37:43,663 ...in his wee little boots. 444 00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:47,300 You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. 445 00:37:47,467 --> 00:37:49,336 - Let's keep him! - Say what? 446 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:54,774 Listen. He's purring! 447 00:37:54,941 --> 00:37:57,944 - So now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. 448 00:37:58,111 --> 00:38:01,614 Lighten up? I should lighten up. Look who's telling who to lighten up! 449 00:38:05,318 --> 00:38:06,653 Shrek... 450 00:38:11,291 --> 00:38:12,492 Shrek? 451 00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:27,273 They're both festive, aren't they? What do you think, Harold? 452 00:38:28,174 --> 00:38:29,943 Yes. Yes, fine. Fine. 453 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,347 Try to at least pretend that you're interested 454 00:38:34,514 --> 00:38:35,949 in your daughter's wedding ball. 455 00:38:36,116 --> 00:38:38,184 Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it really matters. 456 00:38:38,351 --> 00:38:40,687 How do we know there's even going to be a ball? 457 00:38:40,854 --> 00:38:42,389 Mom. Dad. 458 00:38:42,555 --> 00:38:46,192 - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. 459 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,862 Mom, have you seen Shrek? 460 00:38:49,290 --> 00:38:51,831 I haven't. You should ask your father. 461 00:38:51,998 --> 00:38:56,503 Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. 462 00:38:56,670 --> 00:38:59,390 - Can I help you, Your Majesty? -Yes! 463 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,676 Exquisite. What do you call this dish? 464 00:39:02,842 --> 00:39:05,879 That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. 465 00:39:06,713 --> 00:39:09,315 Yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. 466 00:39:09,482 --> 00:39:13,853 - Dad? Have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. 467 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,724 I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice mud hole to cool down in. 468 00:39:17,891 --> 00:39:20,427 You know, after your little spat last night. 469 00:39:21,940 --> 00:39:23,897 - You heard that? - Darling, the whole kingdom heard you. 470 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,100 I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be, 471 00:39:27,267 --> 00:39:29,169 well, a bit of a brute. 472 00:39:29,336 --> 00:39:33,600 Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon. 473 00:39:33,173 --> 00:39:36,576 Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. 474 00:39:37,444 --> 00:39:39,779 Shrek loves me for who I am. 475 00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:42,916 I would think you'd be happy for me. 476 00:39:43,830 --> 00:39:46,453 Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. 477 00:39:46,619 --> 00:39:49,422 Maybe you should do the same. 478 00:40:03,403 --> 00:40:05,710 No, really? 479 00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:20,220 No, that's the old Keebler's place. Let's just back away slowly. 480 00:40:20,387 --> 00:40:22,222 That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. 481 00:40:22,389 --> 00:40:25,792 She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. 482 00:40:25,959 --> 00:40:29,596 Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Spell. 483 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:36,469 He makes me laugh. 484 00:40:42,308 --> 00:40:44,144 Hi. I'm here to see the... 485 00:40:44,310 --> 00:40:47,280 The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. 486 00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:50,650 Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! 487 00:40:51,751 --> 00:40:54,854 Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. 488 00:40:55,210 --> 00:40:57,657 Look, she's not seeing any clients today, OK? 489 00:40:57,824 --> 00:40:59,659 That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. 490 00:40:59,826 --> 00:41:00,994 "he union? 491 00:41:01,161 --> 00:41:05,632 We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. 492 00:41:06,299 --> 00:41:07,333 Oh! Right. 493 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:10,603 Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? 494 00:41:11,471 --> 00:41:14,174 A little. We don't even have dental. 495 00:41:14,341 --> 00:41:16,900 They don't even have dental. 496 00:41:16,476 --> 00:41:18,545 OK, we're just gonna have a look around. 497 00:41:18,712 --> 00:41:20,780 By the way, I think it'd be better 498 00:41:20,947 --> 00:41:23,160 if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. 499 00:41:23,183 --> 00:41:24,317 Know what I'm saying? 500 00:41:26,353 --> 00:41:29,622 - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. 501 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:00,720 A drop of desire. 502 00:42:02,422 --> 00:42:03,656 Naughty. 503 00:42:04,858 --> 00:42:06,526 A pinch of passion. 504 00:42:11,831 --> 00:42:14,567 And just a hint of... 505 00:42:14,734 --> 00:42:15,902 ...lust! 506 00:42:19,406 --> 00:42:20,740 Excuse me. 507 00:42:21,508 --> 00:42:23,760 Sorry to barge in like this, but... 508 00:42:23,243 --> 00:42:25,945 What in Grimm's name are you doing here? 509 00:42:26,112 --> 00:42:27,247 Well... 510 00:42:27,414 --> 00:42:31,518 It seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. 511 00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:35,522 And there's some question as to why that is? 512 00:42:36,456 --> 00:42:38,591 Well, let's explore that, shall we? 513 00:42:42,362 --> 00:42:44,130 Princess. Cinderella. 514 00:42:44,297 --> 00:42:47,367 Here we are. "Lived happily ever after." Oh... 515 00:42:47,534 --> 00:42:49,602 No ogres! 516 00:42:49,769 --> 00:42:51,104 Let's see. Snow White. 517 00:42:51,271 --> 00:42:54,941 A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. 518 00:42:55,108 --> 00:42:57,277 Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! 519 00:42:57,444 --> 00:43:00,547 Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. 520 00:43:00,714 --> 00:43:03,583 The Golden Bird, The Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... 521 00:43:03,750 --> 00:43:06,619 No, no, no, no, no! 522 00:43:06,786 --> 00:43:10,790 You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. 523 00:43:10,957 --> 00:43:13,126 - All right, look, lady! - Don't you point 524 00:43:13,293 --> 00:43:16,296 those dirty green sausages at me! 525 00:43:17,764 --> 00:43:19,466 Monte Cristo and coffee. 526 00:43:19,632 --> 00:43:21,134 Oh! Sorry. 527 00:43:22,402 --> 00:43:25,572 That's OK. We were just leaving. 528 00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:28,308 Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. 529 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:30,143 Just go. 530 00:43:30,310 --> 00:43:31,644 Come on, guys. 531 00:43:47,494 --> 00:43:49,462 TGIF, eh, buddy? 532 00:43:51,431 --> 00:43:54,134 Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? 533 00:44:03,677 --> 00:44:05,612 Man, you wanna get your fine Corinthian footwear 534 00:44:05,779 --> 00:44:08,348 and your cat cheeks out of my face? Man, that stinks! 535 00:44:09,149 --> 00:44:12,218 Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. 536 00:44:15,355 --> 00:44:19,693 - Well, one of these has got to help. -1 was just concocting this very plan! 537 00:44:19,859 --> 00:44:22,328 Already our minds are becoming one. 538 00:44:24,330 --> 00:44:27,801 Listen, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. 539 00:44:27,967 --> 00:44:29,536 Shrek, this is a bad idea. 540 00:44:29,703 --> 00:44:32,872 Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. 541 00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:36,209 Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? 542 00:44:36,376 --> 00:44:37,377 No problema, boss. 543 00:44:37,544 --> 00:44:41,981 In one of my nine lives, I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. 544 00:44:42,882 --> 00:44:44,217 Shrek, are you off your nut? 545 00:44:44,384 --> 00:44:45,885 Donkey, keep watch. 546 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,921 Keep watch? Yeah, I'm gonna keep watch. 547 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:49,923 I'll watch that wicked witch come down here 548 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:52,580 and whammy zammy a world of hurt all up your backside. 549 00:44:52,225 --> 00:44:55,280 I'm gonna laugh, too. I'm gonna be giggling to myself. 550 00:44:55,195 --> 00:44:57,897 - What do you see? - "Toad Stool Softener?" 551 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:02,350 Oh, yeah. I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. 552 00:45:02,202 --> 00:45:03,403 Elf a Seltzer? 553 00:45:04,204 --> 00:45:07,674 - "Hex Lax?" - No! Try "Handsome." 554 00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:10,760 Sorry. No handsome. 555 00:45:11,344 --> 00:45:14,347 Hey! How about "Happily Ever After?" 556 00:45:14,514 --> 00:45:16,583 Well, what does it do? 557 00:45:17,217 --> 00:45:19,919 It says "Beauty Divine." 558 00:45:20,860 --> 00:45:23,390 In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. 559 00:45:23,556 --> 00:45:25,191 Especially us talking ones. 560 00:45:26,126 --> 00:45:27,427 Donkey! 561 00:45:28,928 --> 00:45:30,864 That'll have to do. We've got company. 562 00:45:38,371 --> 00:45:39,606 Can we get on with this? 563 00:45:42,609 --> 00:45:43,643 Hurry! 564 00:45:53,119 --> 00:45:54,587 Nice catch, Donkey! 565 00:45:54,754 --> 00:45:56,656 Finally! A good use for your mouth. 566 00:46:01,127 --> 00:46:02,128 Come on! 567 00:47:03,857 --> 00:47:07,861 Look, I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! 568 00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:09,290 Yes, Godmother. 569 00:47:09,195 --> 00:47:13,533 And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! 570 00:47:14,901 --> 00:47:18,400 - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. 571 00:47:18,638 --> 00:47:21,474 This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. 572 00:47:21,641 --> 00:47:25,145 - Well, what happened here? - The ogre, that's what! 573 00:47:25,311 --> 00:47:26,846 What? Where is he, Mom? 574 00:47:27,130 --> 00:47:29,482 I shall rend his head from his shoulders! 575 00:47:29,649 --> 00:47:31,918 will smite him where he stands! 576 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,560 He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! 577 00:47:37,824 --> 00:47:40,560 Put it away, junior! You're still gonna be king. 578 00:47:41,194 --> 00:47:43,997 We're just gonna have to come up with something smarter, that's all. 579 00:47:44,164 --> 00:47:45,398 Pardon... 580 00:47:45,565 --> 00:47:49,736 Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. 581 00:47:49,903 --> 00:47:50,904 What? 582 00:47:54,740 --> 00:47:57,770 I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. 583 00:47:58,845 --> 00:48:02,515 "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. 584 00:48:02,682 --> 00:48:05,218 For you and your true love. 585 00:48:05,385 --> 00:48:08,221 If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. 586 00:48:08,388 --> 00:48:10,890 Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." 587 00:48:11,570 --> 00:48:12,192 "You both will be fine?" 588 00:48:12,359 --> 00:48:14,761 I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. 589 00:48:15,762 --> 00:48:19,432 Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. 590 00:48:19,599 --> 00:48:22,402 Why don't you drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. 591 00:48:22,569 --> 00:48:25,972 It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be? 592 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:31,144 See, you're allergic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction. 593 00:48:31,311 --> 00:48:33,279 And if you think that I'm gonna be smearing VapoRub 594 00:48:33,446 --> 00:48:35,448 all over your chest, think again! 595 00:48:35,615 --> 00:48:38,752 Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion, 596 00:48:38,918 --> 00:48:40,720 allow me to take the first sip. 597 00:48:40,887 --> 00:48:44,124 It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you. 598 00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:46,459 No, no, no. I don't think so. 599 00:48:46,626 --> 00:48:48,962 If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. 600 00:48:49,129 --> 00:48:52,265 That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. 601 00:48:57,937 --> 00:48:59,305 How do you feel? 602 00:49:00,140 --> 00:49:03,576 I don't feel any different. I look any different? 603 00:49:03,743 --> 00:49:05,912 You still look like an ass to me. 604 00:49:06,646 --> 00:49:08,982 Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. 605 00:49:09,849 --> 00:49:11,951 Well... 606 00:49:12,118 --> 00:49:13,853 - Here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek! 607 00:49:14,521 --> 00:49:17,490 - You drink that, there's no going back. -1 know. 608 00:49:17,657 --> 00:49:19,459 - But, no more wallowing in the mud? -1 know. 609 00:49:19,626 --> 00:49:21,294 - No more itchy butt crack? -1 know! 610 00:49:21,461 --> 00:49:23,797 - But you love being an ogre! -1 know! 611 00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:29,502 But I love Fiona more. 612 00:49:30,837 --> 00:49:32,672 Shrek, no! Wait! 613 00:49:46,519 --> 00:49:49,856 Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion. 614 00:49:50,230 --> 00:49:51,191 Maybe it's a dud. 615 00:49:52,392 --> 00:49:54,861 Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. 616 00:49:59,532 --> 00:50:02,350 What did I tell you? I think I feel something coming on. 617 00:50:02,202 --> 00:50:04,571 I don't want to die. I don't want to die! 618 00:50:04,738 --> 00:50:08,875 I don't want to die! Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! 619 00:50:09,420 --> 00:50:11,440 I'm melting! 620 00:50:11,211 --> 00:50:12,712 It's just the rain, Donkey. 621 00:50:58,910 --> 00:51:01,940 Shrek, don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy 622 00:51:01,261 --> 00:51:04,597 and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you. 623 00:51:04,764 --> 00:51:07,901 It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. 624 00:51:15,875 --> 00:51:17,577 Bet my bottom? 625 00:51:17,744 --> 00:51:19,450 I'm coming, Elizabeth! 626 00:51:19,446 --> 00:51:22,716 Donkey? Are you all right? 627 00:51:22,882 --> 00:51:25,785 Hey, boss. Let's shave him. 628 00:51:25,952 --> 00:51:27,554 Donkey? 629 00:51:36,129 --> 00:51:38,498 There you are! We missed you at dinner. 630 00:51:39,899 --> 00:51:41,301 What is it, darling? 631 00:51:41,468 --> 00:51:42,969 Dad... 632 00:51:43,136 --> 00:51:45,472 I've been thinking about what you said. 633 00:51:46,473 --> 00:51:48,341 And I'm going to set things right. 634 00:51:49,750 --> 00:51:50,944 Excellent! That's my girl. 635 00:51:51,111 --> 00:51:53,780 It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. 636 00:51:53,947 --> 00:51:56,116 I'm going to go out and find him. 637 00:51:56,683 --> 00:51:59,819 And then we're gonna go back to the swamp where we belong. 638 00:52:02,989 --> 00:52:04,657 Fiona, please! 639 00:52:04,824 --> 00:52:07,961 Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. 640 00:52:10,830 --> 00:52:12,499 - Fiona... - Fiona! 641 00:52:51,838 --> 00:52:56,743 Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. 642 00:52:59,145 --> 00:53:00,714 Good morning, sleepyhead. 643 00:53:02,148 --> 00:53:03,516 - Good morning! - Good morning! 644 00:53:03,683 --> 00:53:05,180 We love your kitty! 645 00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,822 - My head... - Here, I fetched you a pail of water. 646 00:53:09,422 --> 00:53:10,490 "hanks. 647 00:53:18,498 --> 00:53:20,834 A cute button nose? 648 00:53:21,234 --> 00:53:23,236 Thick, wavy locks? 649 00:53:24,170 --> 00:53:26,206 Taut, round buttocks? 650 00:53:27,730 --> 00:53:28,508 I'm... I'm... 651 00:53:28,675 --> 00:53:29,909 - Gorgeous! - I'll say. 652 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:32,445 I'm Jill. What's your name? 653 00:53:32,612 --> 00:53:35,915 - Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? 654 00:53:36,449 --> 00:53:38,385 - You're so tense. -1 want to rub his shoulders. 655 00:53:38,551 --> 00:53:41,870 -1 got it covered, thanks. -1 don't have anything to rub. 656 00:53:41,254 --> 00:53:42,756 Get in line. 657 00:53:42,922 --> 00:53:44,124 Have you seen my donkey? 658 00:53:44,290 --> 00:53:45,859 Who are you calling Donkey? 659 00:53:47,293 --> 00:53:50,764 - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! 660 00:53:50,930 --> 00:53:54,100 I can whinny. I can count. 661 00:53:54,768 --> 00:53:57,404 Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! 662 00:53:58,271 --> 00:54:01,107 That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? 663 00:54:01,274 --> 00:54:04,444 "Oh, don't take the potion, Mr Boss, it's very bad." 664 00:54:05,779 --> 00:54:10,116 "Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping." 665 00:54:10,283 --> 00:54:14,220 "Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders." 666 00:54:14,387 --> 00:54:16,656 I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! 667 00:54:19,125 --> 00:54:20,126 What? 668 00:54:20,293 --> 00:54:21,294 Senoii 669 00:54:21,461 --> 00:54:23,563 "To make the effects of this potion permanent 670 00:54:23,730 --> 00:54:27,600 the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight." 671 00:54:27,767 --> 00:54:29,969 Midnight? Why is it always midnight? 672 00:54:30,136 --> 00:54:32,839 - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. 673 00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,508 I'll be true... enough. 674 00:54:35,675 --> 00:54:39,112 Look, ladies, I already have a true love. 675 00:54:40,313 --> 00:54:44,484 And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. 676 00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:47,654 And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. 677 00:54:47,821 --> 00:54:50,156 But inside you're still the same old mean, salty... 678 00:54:50,323 --> 00:54:52,292 - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, 679 00:54:52,459 --> 00:54:54,160 angry ogre you always been. 680 00:54:54,327 --> 00:54:56,429 And you're still the same annoying donkey. 681 00:54:56,596 --> 00:54:57,597 Yeah. 682 00:54:59,766 --> 00:55:00,834 Well... 683 00:55:01,434 --> 00:55:04,804 Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. 684 00:55:06,106 --> 00:55:08,808 First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes. 685 00:55:13,646 --> 00:55:15,281 - Ready? - Ready! 686 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,187 Driver, stop! 687 00:55:21,354 --> 00:55:24,357 Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! 688 00:55:24,524 --> 00:55:27,961 I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again? 689 00:55:28,128 --> 00:55:32,165 You poor creature! Is there anything I can do for you? 690 00:55:32,899 --> 00:55:34,534 Well, there is one thing. 691 00:55:34,701 --> 00:55:37,504 Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. 692 00:55:41,808 --> 00:55:43,843 - Not bad. - Not bad at all. 693 00:55:51,985 --> 00:55:55,880 Father? Is everything all right, Father? 694 00:56:00,393 --> 00:56:04,230 Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. 695 00:56:04,397 --> 00:56:07,901 Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. 696 00:56:52,112 --> 00:56:53,113 Halt! 697 00:56:53,279 --> 00:56:56,216 Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. 698 00:57:18,304 --> 00:57:19,305 Fiona! 699 00:57:19,472 --> 00:57:20,507 Shrek? 700 00:57:23,977 --> 00:57:25,145 Shrek? 701 00:57:30,483 --> 00:57:31,484 Fiona! 702 00:57:34,988 --> 00:57:36,790 Hello, handsome. 703 00:57:38,692 --> 00:57:39,826 Shrek! 704 00:57:39,993 --> 00:57:43,263 - Princess! - Donkey? 705 00:57:43,430 --> 00:57:44,831 That potion worked on you, too? 706 00:57:45,665 --> 00:57:46,833 What potion? 707 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,360 It's kind of a long story. Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... 708 00:57:50,203 --> 00:57:52,472 Now, we're ***! 709 00:57:53,773 --> 00:57:54,874 Shrek? 710 00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,648 For you, baby... I could be. 711 00:58:01,815 --> 00:58:04,170 - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? 712 00:58:04,184 --> 00:58:06,486 He went inside looking for you. 713 00:58:08,355 --> 00:58:09,689 Shrek! 714 00:58:10,323 --> 00:58:13,590 Fiona! Fiona! 715 00:58:14,861 --> 00:58:17,300 You wanna dance, pretty boy? 716 00:58:19,866 --> 00:58:23,536 Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? 717 00:58:24,871 --> 00:58:26,206 Fiona? 718 00:58:28,375 --> 00:58:32,120 - Shrek? - Aye, Fiona. It is me. 719 00:58:32,178 --> 00:58:34,214 What happened to your voice? 720 00:58:34,581 --> 00:58:38,385 The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. 721 00:58:38,551 --> 00:58:41,540 But not the way I feel about you. 722 00:58:41,221 --> 00:58:42,722 Fiona? 723 00:58:43,556 --> 00:58:44,891 Charming? 724 00:58:45,580 --> 00:58:46,359 Do you think so? 725 00:58:47,270 --> 00:58:50,363 Dad? I was so hoping you'd approve. 726 00:58:51,310 --> 00:58:54,000 - Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. 727 00:58:54,167 --> 00:58:57,504 I know you never get a second chance at a first impression 728 00:58:57,671 --> 00:59:00,730 but, well, what do you think? 729 00:59:04,770 --> 00:59:07,113 Fiona! Fiona! 730 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,581 Fiona! 731 00:59:08,748 --> 00:59:10,583 Fiona! 732 00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:14,120 - Fiona! - Fiona! Fiona! 733 00:59:14,287 --> 00:59:18,580 Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. 734 00:59:20,627 --> 00:59:24,640 Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? 735 00:59:24,931 --> 00:59:26,933 I just wanted her to be happy. 736 00:59:27,100 --> 00:59:29,369 And now she can be. 737 00:59:29,536 --> 00:59:31,738 Oh, sweetheart. 738 00:59:31,905 --> 00:59:35,275 She's finally found the prince of her dreams. 739 00:59:35,442 --> 00:59:39,446 But look at me. Look what I've done for her. 740 00:59:39,612 --> 00:59:42,882 It's time you stop living in a fairytale, Shrek. 741 00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:47,870 She's a Princess. And you're an ogre. 742 00:59:47,253 --> 00:59:51,257 That's something no amount of potion is ever going to change. 743 00:59:58,965 --> 01:00:00,467 But... 744 01:00:00,633 --> 01:00:02,100 ...I love her. 745 01:00:02,168 --> 01:00:04,237 If you really love her... 746 01:00:05,138 --> 01:00:07,140 ...you'll let her go. 747 01:00:12,245 --> 01:00:14,314 - Shrek? - Senor\ 748 01:00:14,481 --> 01:00:17,317 Hey, what's going on? Where are you going? 749 01:00:23,456 --> 01:00:27,961 You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? 750 01:00:42,475 --> 01:00:44,100 There you go, boys. 751 01:00:44,177 --> 01:00:46,112 Just leave the bottle, Doris. 752 01:00:46,279 --> 01:00:48,648 Hey! Why the long face? 753 01:00:49,849 --> 01:00:52,285 It was all just a stupid mistake. 754 01:00:53,186 --> 01:00:57,230 I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. 755 01:00:59,192 --> 01:01:01,270 I hate Mondays. 756 01:01:01,194 --> 01:01:03,290 I can't believe you're gonna just walk away 757 01:01:03,196 --> 01:01:04,864 from the best thing that ever happened to you. 758 01:01:05,310 --> 01:01:06,533 What choice do I have? 759 01:01:06,700 --> 01:01:10,670 She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. 760 01:01:10,837 --> 01:01:12,572 Come on. Is he really that good-looking? 761 01:01:12,739 --> 01:01:14,874 Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! 762 01:01:15,410 --> 01:01:18,545 He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. 763 01:01:18,712 --> 01:01:20,146 He sounds dreamy. 764 01:01:20,313 --> 01:01:24,184 You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. 765 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:30,890 Look, guys. It's for the best. 766 01:01:31,570 --> 01:01:35,729 Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. 767 01:01:35,895 --> 01:01:37,764 Everybody wins. 768 01:01:38,832 --> 01:01:40,660 Except for you. 769 01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:43,737 I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. 770 01:01:43,903 --> 01:01:45,710 Aye. 771 01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,441 And that's why I have to let her go. 772 01:01:49,242 --> 01:01:52,412 Excuse me, is she here? 773 01:01:52,579 --> 01:01:54,581 She's in the back. 774 01:01:56,416 --> 01:01:57,617 Hello again. 775 01:02:02,550 --> 01:02:04,240 Fairy Godmother. Charming. 776 01:02:05,580 --> 01:02:08,940 You better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. 777 01:02:08,261 --> 01:02:14,234 Well... I'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to Prince Charming. 778 01:02:14,401 --> 01:02:17,871 - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. 779 01:02:18,380 --> 01:02:19,939 I mean, how charming can I be 780 01:02:20,106 --> 01:02:22,242 when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? 781 01:02:22,409 --> 01:02:24,411 No! No, it's nobody's fault. 782 01:02:24,577 --> 01:02:27,747 Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off. OK? 783 01:02:27,914 --> 01:02:28,748 - What? - What? 784 01:02:28,915 --> 01:02:32,218 You can't force someone to fall in love! 785 01:02:32,385 --> 01:02:35,455 I beg to differ. I do it all the time! 786 01:02:35,622 --> 01:02:40,126 Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses. 787 01:02:40,293 --> 01:02:42,950 Which will be Charming. 788 01:02:44,330 --> 01:02:46,132 - No. - What did you say? 789 01:02:46,299 --> 01:02:48,768 can't. I won't do it. 790 01:02:48,935 --> 01:02:50,437 Oh, yes, you will. 791 01:02:50,603 --> 01:02:53,940 If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. 792 01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:57,577 And I can take it away just as easily. 793 01:02:57,744 --> 01:03:00,947 Is that what you want? Is it? 794 01:03:02,315 --> 01:03:04,451 - No. - Good boy. 795 01:03:04,818 --> 01:03:08,655 Now we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. 796 01:03:08,822 --> 01:03:12,250 He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. 797 01:03:12,192 --> 01:03:14,661 You always need someone to do the back of your hair. 798 01:03:14,828 --> 01:03:16,663 - Thank you, Mother. - Mother? 799 01:03:18,264 --> 01:03:20,600 Mary! A talking horse! 800 01:03:20,767 --> 01:03:21,835 The ogre! 801 01:03:23,636 --> 01:03:27,640 Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! 802 01:03:29,275 --> 01:03:32,846 Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's 803 01:03:33,130 --> 01:03:36,490 Far Far Away Royal Ball blowout! 804 01:03:36,216 --> 01:03:38,785 The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them 805 01:03:38,952 --> 01:03:40,687 like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. 806 01:03:40,854 --> 01:03:42,856 Everyone who's anyone has turned out 807 01:03:43,230 --> 01:03:45,325 to honour Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 808 01:03:45,492 --> 01:03:48,395 And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! 809 01:03:48,561 --> 01:03:49,863 Look! Hansel and Gretel! 810 01:03:50,830 --> 01:03:52,532 What the heck are the crumbs for? 811 01:03:52,699 --> 01:03:55,668 And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! 812 01:03:55,835 --> 01:03:57,904 Oh, aren't they adorable! 813 01:03:58,538 --> 01:04:01,341 Here comes Sleeping Beauty! 814 01:04:01,841 --> 01:04:03,677 Tired old thing. 815 01:04:04,411 --> 01:04:07,313 Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? 816 01:04:08,348 --> 01:04:10,517 It's the one, it's the only... 817 01:04:10,684 --> 01:04:13,186 It's the Fairy Godmother! 818 01:04:13,353 --> 01:04:16,523 Hello, Far Far Away! 819 01:04:17,724 --> 01:04:19,392 Can I get a whoop, whoop? 820 01:04:19,559 --> 01:04:21,610 Whoop, whoop! 821 01:04:21,227 --> 01:04:24,564 May all your endings be happy and... 822 01:04:24,731 --> 01:04:27,333 Well, you know the rest! 823 01:04:27,734 --> 01:04:30,770 We'll be right back with the Royal Far Far Away Ball 824 01:04:30,937 --> 01:04:32,238 after these messages. 825 01:04:32,405 --> 01:04:34,507 hate these ball shows. 826 01:04:34,674 --> 01:04:37,243 They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel of Torturel 827 01:04:37,410 --> 01:04:41,414 I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. 828 01:04:42,549 --> 01:04:44,117 Whizzes on you guys. 829 01:04:44,284 --> 01:04:46,286 Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! 830 01:04:46,453 --> 01:04:48,688 No, to your left. Your left! 831 01:04:51,758 --> 01:04:54,861 - Tonight on Knights... - Now here's a good show! 832 01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:58,264 We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. 833 01:04:58,431 --> 01:05:01,340 It's time for the men in steel to teach these madcap mammals 834 01:05:01,201 --> 01:05:03,403 their "devil may mare" attitudes just won't fly. 835 01:05:04,771 --> 01:05:08,541 - Let me go! - Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! 836 01:05:09,743 --> 01:05:13,246 -1 have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you! 837 01:05:13,947 --> 01:05:16,316 Will they get away with it? Or did someone let the cat out of the bag? 838 01:05:16,483 --> 01:05:18,752 You, capitalist pig dogs! 839 01:05:23,990 --> 01:05:25,658 - Catnip! - That's not mine. 840 01:05:26,793 --> 01:05:28,828 Find Princess Fiona! 841 01:05:29,562 --> 01:05:30,497 I'm a donkey! 842 01:05:30,663 --> 01:05:33,233 Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! 843 01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:34,401 Knights. 844 01:05:34,567 --> 01:05:35,969 Quick! Rewind it! 845 01:05:36,970 --> 01:05:38,805 ...Shrek! I'm her husband, Shrek! 846 01:06:07,367 --> 01:06:08,435 Darling? 847 01:06:09,703 --> 01:06:11,338 I thought I might find you here. 848 01:06:11,504 --> 01:06:15,410 How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? 849 01:06:16,309 --> 01:06:17,510 I'm not going. 850 01:06:17,677 --> 01:06:20,680 But the whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. 851 01:06:20,847 --> 01:06:24,784 There's just one problem. That's not my husband. 852 01:06:26,152 --> 01:06:27,620 I mean, look at him. 853 01:06:29,956 --> 01:06:34,527 Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. 854 01:06:34,694 --> 01:06:37,797 You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. 855 01:06:37,964 --> 01:06:39,566 Change? 856 01:06:39,733 --> 01:06:41,868 He's completely lost his mind! 857 01:06:42,350 --> 01:06:45,380 Darling, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? 858 01:06:45,205 --> 01:06:48,508 I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek. 859 01:06:48,675 --> 01:06:51,878 But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. 860 01:06:52,912 --> 01:06:55,480 I'd give anything to have him back. 861 01:06:58,218 --> 01:07:01,254 Darling! That's mine. Decaf. 862 01:07:01,421 --> 01:07:03,356 Otherwise I'm up all night. 863 01:07:10,230 --> 01:07:11,231 "hanks. 864 01:07:14,367 --> 01:07:18,505 I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! 865 01:07:18,672 --> 01:07:20,400 What about my Miranda Rights? 866 01:07:20,206 --> 01:07:22,909 You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. 867 01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:24,611 Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! 868 01:07:24,778 --> 01:07:27,914 Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. 869 01:07:28,810 --> 01:07:30,550 What you lack is the capacity. 870 01:07:30,717 --> 01:07:34,587 I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad. 871 01:07:34,754 --> 01:07:36,589 Shrek? Donkey? 872 01:07:37,590 --> 01:07:38,591 Too late. 873 01:07:38,758 --> 01:07:42,395 Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! 874 01:07:47,934 --> 01:07:49,869 Fire in the hole! 875 01:08:08,621 --> 01:08:09,956 Look out below! 876 01:08:12,425 --> 01:08:14,294 Quick! Tell a lie! 877 01:08:14,461 --> 01:08:17,130 - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! 878 01:08:17,297 --> 01:08:19,399 Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!" 879 01:08:19,566 --> 01:08:22,469 I am wearing ladies' underwear. 880 01:08:26,306 --> 01:08:28,975 - Are you? -1 most certainly am not! 881 01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:32,145 It looks like you most certainly am are! 882 01:08:32,312 --> 01:08:33,813 -1 am not! - What kind? 883 01:08:33,980 --> 01:08:36,483 - It's a thong! - They're briefs! 884 01:08:36,649 --> 01:08:37,851 - Are not. - Are too! 885 01:08:38,180 --> 01:08:39,753 - Are not! - Are too! 886 01:08:39,919 --> 01:08:41,621 Here we go. Hang tight. 887 01:08:45,692 --> 01:08:48,294 Hey, wait! Hey, hey! 888 01:08:52,980 --> 01:08:54,334 - Excuse me? - What? Puss! 889 01:08:54,501 --> 01:08:56,536 Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? 890 01:08:56,703 --> 01:08:58,672 - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! 891 01:08:58,838 --> 01:09:00,507 We've got to stop that kiss! 892 01:09:00,674 --> 01:09:02,442 I thought you was going to let her go. 893 01:09:02,609 --> 01:09:04,811 I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. 894 01:09:04,978 --> 01:09:08,114 Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around! 895 01:09:08,281 --> 01:09:09,849 It's impossible! We'll never get in. 896 01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:12,619 The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything! 897 01:09:14,540 --> 01:09:16,990 Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek 898 01:09:17,157 --> 01:09:19,250 without a Popsicle stick. 899 01:09:23,530 --> 01:09:27,330 - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? 900 01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:30,637 Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? 901 01:09:30,804 --> 01:09:33,139 Because we're gonna need flour. 902 01:09:33,306 --> 01:09:36,376 Lots and lots of flour. 903 01:09:39,679 --> 01:09:41,470 Gingy! 904 01:09:41,214 --> 01:09:45,652 Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! 905 01:09:49,589 --> 01:09:51,558 It's alive! 906 01:10:01,234 --> 01:10:03,603 Run, run, run, as fast you can! 907 01:10:10,844 --> 01:10:12,912 Go, baby, go! 908 01:10:14,681 --> 01:10:17,350 There it is, Mongol To the castle! 909 01:10:17,517 --> 01:10:22,880 No, no, no, you great stupid pastry! Come on! 910 01:10:29,629 --> 01:10:32,365 Mongol Down here! Look at the pony! 911 01:10:33,933 --> 01:10:36,269 That's right! Follow the pretty pony! 912 01:10:36,436 --> 01:10:39,390 Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! 913 01:10:39,205 --> 01:10:40,607 Pretty pony... 914 01:10:42,542 --> 01:10:45,450 Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting: 915 01:10:45,211 --> 01:10:49,783 Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. 916 01:10:51,584 --> 01:10:53,553 Shrek, what are you doing? 917 01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:56,456 I'm just playing the part, Fiona. 918 01:10:56,623 --> 01:10:59,590 Is that glitter on your lips? 919 01:10:59,759 --> 01:11:02,620 Cherry flavoured. Want to taste? 920 01:11:02,762 --> 01:11:06,132 - What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... 921 01:11:09,135 --> 01:11:11,104 C Minor, put it in C Minor. 922 01:11:12,138 --> 01:11:13,640 Ladies and gentlemen... 923 01:11:16,176 --> 01:11:19,790 I'd like to dedicate this song to 924 01:11:19,245 --> 01:11:22,649 Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 925 01:11:23,650 --> 01:11:25,318 Fiona, my Princess. 926 01:11:25,485 --> 01:11:28,880 Will you honour me with a dance? 927 01:11:33,293 --> 01:11:34,928 Dance, dance, dance... 928 01:11:48,108 --> 01:11:49,442 Since when do you dance? 929 01:11:49,609 --> 01:11:52,345 Fiona, my dearest... if there's one thing I know, 930 01:11:52,512 --> 01:11:55,482 it's that love is full of surprises. 931 01:12:06,260 --> 01:12:07,327 Hit it! 932 01:12:12,332 --> 01:12:15,869 All right, big fellow! Let's crash this party! 933 01:12:17,303 --> 01:12:19,390 Man the catapults! 934 01:12:19,639 --> 01:12:21,841 Aim! Fire! 935 01:12:22,976 --> 01:12:25,879 - Brace yourselves! - Purty! 936 01:12:33,386 --> 01:12:35,689 Not the gumdrop button! 937 01:12:42,620 --> 01:12:43,897 Incoming! 938 01:12:45,365 --> 01:12:46,566 All right! 939 01:12:55,375 --> 01:12:57,100 Go, Mongol Go! 940 01:13:00,613 --> 01:13:01,881 Man the cauldrons! 941 01:13:07,721 --> 01:13:09,723 After you, Mongo. 942 01:13:12,559 --> 01:13:16,696 That's it! Heave! Ho! Watch out! 943 01:13:19,532 --> 01:13:20,867 Shrek! 944 01:13:24,637 --> 01:13:26,439 More heat, less foam! 945 01:13:37,417 --> 01:13:38,952 Heave! 946 01:13:45,925 --> 01:13:48,940 No! 947 01:14:18,758 --> 01:14:19,759 Come on! 948 01:14:20,960 --> 01:14:24,330 - No, no! - Be good. 949 01:14:26,833 --> 01:14:29,669 He needs me! Let me go! 950 01:14:33,139 --> 01:14:34,374 Donkey! 951 01:14:44,170 --> 01:14:45,352 Puss! 952 01:14:48,488 --> 01:14:50,990 Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! 953 01:14:53,727 --> 01:14:56,196 Today, I repay my debt. 954 01:15:05,171 --> 01:15:06,740 En garde\ 955 01:15:17,717 --> 01:15:18,852 Stop! 956 01:15:24,324 --> 01:15:27,394 Hey, you! Back away from my wife. 957 01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:28,895 Shrek? 958 01:15:29,696 --> 01:15:34,200 You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. 959 01:15:34,367 --> 01:15:36,569 - Now! - Pigs und blanket! 960 01:15:39,372 --> 01:15:40,774 Pinocchio! Get the wand! 961 01:15:40,940 --> 01:15:42,742 see London! I see France! 962 01:15:46,413 --> 01:15:47,881 I'm a real boy! 963 01:15:59,926 --> 01:16:01,940 Donkey! 964 01:16:05,298 --> 01:16:06,800 I'm a real boy. 965 01:16:11,738 --> 01:16:13,440 "hat's mine! That's mine! 966 01:16:17,610 --> 01:16:19,112 Pray for mercy, from Puss... 967 01:16:19,279 --> 01:16:20,780 And Donkey! 968 01:16:37,300 --> 01:16:38,998 - Fiona... - Shrek. 969 01:16:39,165 --> 01:16:42,869 Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion! 970 01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:46,840 Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. 971 01:16:47,700 --> 01:16:48,208 Mommy! 972 01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:49,376 Mommy? 973 01:16:50,777 --> 01:16:52,679 I told you 974 01:16:52,846 --> 01:16:57,170 ogres don't live happily ever after. 975 01:16:59,419 --> 01:17:02,880 - Harold! - No... 976 01:17:21,241 --> 01:17:24,440 Dad! Daddy... 977 01:17:26,546 --> 01:17:28,415 - Is he...? - Yup. 978 01:17:29,783 --> 01:17:31,584 He croaked. 979 01:17:33,486 --> 01:17:34,921 Harold? 980 01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:36,423 Dad? 981 01:17:36,956 --> 01:17:39,590 I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. 982 01:17:39,225 --> 01:17:41,940 Hey, and he gave you a hard time! 983 01:17:41,261 --> 01:17:43,997 - Donkey! - No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. 984 01:17:44,964 --> 01:17:45,965 To both of you. 985 01:17:46,132 --> 01:17:49,102 I only wanted what was best for Fiona. 986 01:17:49,936 --> 01:17:51,137 But I can see now... 987 01:17:52,238 --> 01:17:54,740 ...she already has it. 988 01:17:55,141 --> 01:17:56,409 Shrek, Fiona... 989 01:17:57,644 --> 01:18:01,147 ...will you accept an old frog's apologies 990 01:18:02,315 --> 01:18:03,650 and my blessing? 991 01:18:05,151 --> 01:18:07,354 - Harold... - I'm sorry, Lillian. 992 01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:11,910 I just wish I could be the man you deserve. 993 01:18:12,158 --> 01:18:17,497 You're more that man today than you ever were. Warts and all. 994 01:18:21,501 --> 01:18:23,770 Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! 995 01:18:23,937 --> 01:18:25,500 Midnight! 996 01:18:25,805 --> 01:18:28,708 Fiona... is this what you want? 997 01:18:29,776 --> 01:18:31,845 To be this way forever? 998 01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:34,647 - What? - Because if you kiss me now... 999 01:18:35,682 --> 01:18:37,350 ...we can stay like this. 1000 01:18:38,118 --> 01:18:39,686 You'd do that? 1001 01:18:40,453 --> 01:18:42,389 - For me? -Yes. 1002 01:18:51,197 --> 01:18:53,700 I want what any princess wants. 1003 01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:56,836 To live happily ever after... 1004 01:19:00,907 --> 01:19:03,576 ...with the ogre I married. 1005 01:19:06,713 --> 01:19:09,549 Whatever happens, I must not cry! 1006 01:19:09,716 --> 01:19:12,218 You cannot make me cry! 1007 01:19:36,743 --> 01:19:38,845 No... No, no... No! 1008 01:19:43,750 --> 01:19:45,352 Oh, no... 1009 01:20:02,268 --> 01:20:03,570 Hey... 1010 01:20:03,737 --> 01:20:06,106 ...you still look like a noble steed to me. 1011 01:20:10,710 --> 01:20:12,946 Now, where were we? 1012 01:20:18,618 --> 01:20:20,420 Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it! 1013 01:20:27,927 --> 01:20:29,295 Puss and Donkey, y'all... 1014 01:20:34,901 --> 01:20:35,969 Sing it, Puss! 1015 01:20:42,142 --> 01:20:43,476 Here we go! 1016 01:21:13,606 --> 01:21:15,308 Hey gorgeous! 1017 01:21:30,357 --> 01:21:32,250 Sing it one more time now! 1018 01:21:39,532 --> 01:21:41,334 Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! 1019 01:21:41,501 --> 01:21:42,702 Break it down! 1020 01:23:41,521 --> 01:23:42,555 Amigo? 1021 01:23:42,722 --> 01:23:45,525 We are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. 1022 01:23:46,493 --> 01:23:49,195 Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm just not in the mood. 1023 01:23:49,362 --> 01:23:53,133 We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro\ 1024 01:23:54,901 --> 01:23:56,200 Hey, baby! 1025 01:23:58,171 --> 01:24:01,741 Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! 1026 01:24:02,542 --> 01:24:03,810 Baby, where you been? 1027 01:24:05,450 --> 01:24:08,848 I'm sorry, too. I should have stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. 1028 01:24:09,150 --> 01:24:10,517 What? Say it one more time. 1029 01:24:10,684 --> 01:24:13,186 What you talking about? Are you serious? 1030 01:24:16,890 --> 01:24:17,223 Dada! 1031 01:24:24,330 --> 01:24:26,666 Look at our little mutant babies! 1032 01:24:29,335 --> 01:24:30,870 I got to get a job.