1 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,210 Black. 2 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:15,414 All important movies start with a black screen. 3 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,350 And music. 4 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,120 Edgy, scary music 5 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,456 that would make a parent or studio executive nervous. 6 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,527 And logos. 7 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,364 Really long and dramatic logos. 8 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,199 Warner bros. 9 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,802 Why not "Warner brothers"? I don't know. 10 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,042 DC. 11 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:46,412 The house that Batman built. 12 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,881 Yeah, what, superman? 13 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,050 Come at me, bro. 14 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,951 I'm your kryptonite. 15 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,226 Hmm. 16 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,296 Not sure what ratpac does, but that logo is macho. 17 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,965 I dig it. 18 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,001 Okay. 19 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:12,071 Get yourself ready for some... 20 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,006 Reading. 21 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,909 "If you want to make the world a better place..." 22 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:20,179 "...take a look at yourself and make a change." 23 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,513 "Hooo." 24 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,348 No. I said that. 25 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,752 Batman is very wise. 26 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,188 I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. 27 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,425 Yeah, I've got an extra ab. 28 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,660 Now, let's start the movie. 29 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,238 Gotham tower, 30 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,208 this is mcguffin airlines, flight 1138. 31 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,977 We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 32 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,979 17,000 pounds of c-4, 33 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,815 about 150 cute little classic bomb-type bombs, 34 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,450 and two best friends! 35 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,319 And request permission to fly over 36 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,054 the most crime-ridden city in the world. 37 00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:03,455 Over. 38 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,556 I'm just looking at all the guys' faces 39 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,724 here in the control tower. 40 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,825 I'm good. Sounds good to me. 41 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,160 Do it! Yeah, as long as 42 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,561 they're best friends. Thumbs up! 43 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,883 Yep, I think we're cool with that. 44 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,584 Gentlemen, 45 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:36,922 seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! 46 00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:39,958 What was that? 47 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,160 One of us should check it out. 48 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:43,028 Okay. Scissors, paper, rock... 49 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,163 Paper. Scissors. 50 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,597 Ha! You always do paper. 51 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,900 I'm a loser at home and a loser at work. 52 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,436 Holy cow! 53 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,177 Captain Dale, is everything okay? 54 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:02,014 I am afraid captain Dale had to bail. 55 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,049 I'm your new co-pilot. 56 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,351 And I always come to work 57 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,120 with a smile! 58 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,060 You should be terrified. Why? 59 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,397 Because I will be taking over the city. 60 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,631 Mmm... 61 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,533 What? Batman will stop you. 62 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,968 He always stops you. 63 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,369 No, he doesn't. 64 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,971 What about that time with the two boats? 65 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,873 This is better than the two boats. 66 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,041 Mmm... 67 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,144 Well, tonight is gonna be different! 68 00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,047 Tonight is my greatest plan yet. 69 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,816 And trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming. 70 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,984 Like that time with the parade 71 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,219 and the prince music? 72 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,520 Hey, quiet! 73 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,155 Good night, Steve. Take it easy, Jeff. 74 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,158 Man, I really like that guy. 75 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,260 I sure hope nothing bad happens to him. 76 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,067 What the... 77 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,568 Your city is under attack 78 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,104 by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. 79 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,672 Including 80 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,641 the riddler... 81 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,509 scarecrow... 82 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,278 Pizza delivery. 83 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,681 Bane. Hello. 84 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,849 Two-face! 85 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,011 We need that door open, baby! 86 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,219 Catwoman. 87 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,787 Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow. 88 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:16,869 I'm jumping out of the way! 89 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,626 And let's not forget, clayface. 90 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,696 Poison Ivy. 91 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,432 - Freeze! - No! 92 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,467 You freeze! 93 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,102 Mr. freeze! 94 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,938 Penguin, crazy quilt, eraser. 95 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,440 Polka-dot man, mime, tarantula. 96 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,476 King tut, orca, killer moth, 97 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,378 march Harriet, zodiac master, gentleman ghost. 98 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,280 Clock king, calendar man, kite-man, 99 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,849 catman, zebra-man, and the condiment king. 100 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,552 Okay, are you making some of those up? 101 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,154 Nope, they're all real. 102 00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,689 Probably worth a Google. 103 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,826 Hey, watch it! Commissioner Gordon! 104 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,994 What is it, O'Hara? 105 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,829 We just got a report! 106 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,798 All the z-grade villains have broken into the energy plant! 107 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,966 What are we gonna do, sir? 108 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,267 The only thing we ever do. 109 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,969 Flip the switch to the bat-signal! 110 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,737 Flip! 111 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,072 Commissioner, are you there? 112 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,440 The bat-signal, she's been egged! 113 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,908 It's egghead, sir. 114 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,643 I'm well aware of his work. 115 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,744 Dear gosh. 116 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,979 You've destroyed the bat-signal. 117 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,681 You have thought of everything. 118 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,316 Yeah, I know! 119 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,084 And when I take over Gotham city... 120 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,353 Opening reactor core doors. 121 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,488 Batman will grovel at the feet 122 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,324 of his greatest enemy! 123 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,593 Me! The joker! 124 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,164 Joker, do you read me? 125 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,498 10-4, girl buddy. 126 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,933 We're ready for you, sugar plum. 127 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,402 Well, then, let's raise the roof! 128 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,671 Fire in the hole! 129 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,181 O'Hara, have you tried the bat-phone? 130 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,616 Yes, but all I'm getting is this hold music. 131 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,586 I love it. 132 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,025 I want snipers trained on that building! You bet! 133 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,060 I want water and air support, yesterday! Ahoy, sir! 134 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,729 And I need SWAT here now! 135 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:04,896 Phone call for commissioner Gordon. 136 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,131 Hello? Batman? 137 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,700 Hi, Jimmy! It's the jokes. Oop! 138 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,535 Nobody calls you that. 139 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,304 Yes, people do call me that. 140 00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,472 Okay, listen up. 141 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,873 Go, go, go! 142 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,208 At this very moment, 143 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,710 an unnecessarily complicated bomb 144 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,178 is being attached 145 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,914 to the inside of the main energy core. 146 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,250 If the mayor isn't here in five minutes 147 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,818 to negotiate the city's surrender, 148 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,655 then I shall destroy Gotham city. 149 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,257 I did something! 150 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,725 Doctor, that sounds frightening 151 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,926 and overly complicated. 152 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,228 Talk us through it. 153 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,729 Well, I don't wanna scare 154 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,765 any small children who may be listening, 155 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,900 but it's a little-known fact that Gotham city 156 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,270 is built on a bunch of flimsy plates stuck together. 157 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,572 There's literally nothing beneath us, 158 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,243 except an infinite abyss that smells like dirty underwear. 159 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,278 If joker's bomb were to go off, 160 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,280 these plates would break apart, 161 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,115 plunging every Gotham citizen 162 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,851 into the eternal abyss forever. 163 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,753 And you wouldn't want that, now would you? 164 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,689 Now get me the mayor! Joker out! 165 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,526 Madam mayor, I cannot ask you to do this! 166 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,194 Jim, did you find Batman? 167 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,262 No, ma'am. 168 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,930 Then we have no choice. 169 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,965 The joker has the upper hand. 170 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,435 We have to surrender Gotham city. 171 00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,869 Oh, no. 172 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,539 I'm sorry! 173 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,441 Flying the mayor package in right now. 174 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,810 SWAT team, get your stun guns ready! 175 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,478 - Non-lethal. - Yeah! 176 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,547 Lowering mayor package through hole. 177 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,283 Madam mayor! 178 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,118 Thanks for dropping by. 179 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,288 I've only got one thing to say to you, joker. 180 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,290 Well, you better make it fast. 181 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,458 Do you like to gamble? 182 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,725 Oh, I certainly do. 183 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,627 Do you ever play roulette? 184 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,062 On occasion. 185 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,664 Well, let me give you a word of advice. 186 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,832 I'm all ears. 187 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,233 When playing roulette... 188 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,367 Yes? 189 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,237 Always bet on black. 190 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,939 Batman? 191 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,974 What are you doing? You're completely outnumbered here! 192 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,175 Are you nuts? 193 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,977 You wanna get nuts? Come on! 194 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,246 Let's get nuts! 195 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,647 'Cause I just wrote a song 196 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,349 about how I'm gonna kick all your s! 197 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,685 Stop him before he starts singing! 198 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,665 Computer, overcompensate. 199 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,201 I'm on my way, sir. 200 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,289 Thank you. 201 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,799 Get it together, guys! 202 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,801 You're making me look bad in front of Batman! 203 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,570 'Puter, where's the bomb? 204 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,939 The bomb is located at the base of the energy core. 205 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,475 What the... 206 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,389 me, Batman. 207 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,562 'Puter. 208 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,441 How is he beating all of you again? 209 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,176 Because... 210 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,414 It's gonna blow! 211 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:49,688 Hi, Batman! 212 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,257 So weird to keep running into you. 213 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,265 Looks like your plan failed. 214 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,133 Well, it's only a matter of time 215 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,202 before I take over Gotham city. 216 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,143 When has that ever happened? Computer! 217 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,445 Calculating. 218 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,280 Never. 219 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,715 You know why? 220 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,717 Because I'm always one step ahead of you. 221 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,385 And I always get away! 222 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,022 Not this time. 223 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,293 'Cause this time 224 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,794 I got you. 225 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,062 Oh, yeah? 226 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,632 Well, there's only one problem. 227 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,567 Who's gonna defuse the bomb? 228 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,402 It's gotta be one or the other, Batman. 229 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:41,840 Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy. 230 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,108 You can't do both. 231 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,175 I'm sorry, what did you just say? 232 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,343 You can't do both, I said. 233 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,845 No, I mean the other thing. 234 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,747 Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy. 235 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,148 You think you're my greatest enemy? 236 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,651 Yes! You're obsessed with me! 237 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,818 No, I'm not. 238 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,020 Yes, you are. No, I'm not. 239 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,855 Yes, you are! 240 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,490 Who else drives you to one-up them the way that I do? 241 00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,824 Bane. No, he doesn't! 242 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:00,859 Superman. 243 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,527 Superman's not a bad guy! 244 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,196 Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. 245 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,666 I am fighting a few different people. 246 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,767 What? 247 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,435 I like to fight around. 248 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,671 Okay, look, I'm fine with you fighting other people 249 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:17,008 if you wanna do that, but what we have is special. 250 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,476 So, when people ask you 251 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,178 "who's your number one bad guy?" You say... 252 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,546 Superman. 253 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,281 Are you seriously saying that there is 254 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,017 nothing, nothing special about our relationship? 255 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,852 Whoa. 256 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,455 Let me tell you something, j-bird. 257 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,291 Batman doesn't do 'ships. 258 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,359 What? 259 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,761 As in "relationships." 260 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,365 There is no "us." 261 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,635 Batman and joker are not a thing. 262 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,371 I don't need you. 263 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,274 I don't need anyone. 264 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,945 You mean nothing to me. 265 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,951 No one does. 266 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,279 Hurray! Batman! 267 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,749 You did it! 268 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,083 You're welcome. 269 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,985 Thank you, Batman. Oh, my pleasure. 270 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,255 Batman, we love you! 271 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,024 Thank you! I'm blushing super hard under the mask. 272 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,761 - Grazie, Batman! - Prego. 273 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,429 You're the best, Batman! Oh, I'm humble. 274 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,764 Thanks, Batman! 275 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,098 I'm super modest about it. Thank you. 276 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,266 Batman, you're the greatest! 277 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,868 Oh, pray hands, pray hands. 278 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,102 Thanks for saving the city! 279 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,604 You're welcome. 280 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,272 Batman, I love you more than my kids! 281 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,340 So do I, guy! 282 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,381 You're our hero, Batman! 283 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,984 I love my life. 284 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,118 Computer. 285 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,553 Go ahead. 286 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,221 Are we near the orphanage? Yes. 287 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:13,491 Great. Let's turn those frowns upside down. 288 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,730 That sounds like the Batmobile. 289 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,001 No way! 290 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,335 Hey, orphans! Look who's here! 291 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,304 It's Batman! 292 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,240 Hey, kids. Who wants a shot from the merch gun? 293 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,176 I do, I do, I do! Great! 294 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,844 Kaboom! I got a lunchbox! 295 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,913 Kaboom! I got a sippy cup! 296 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,347 Kaboom! 297 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,916 I got a batarang! 298 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,818 And the rest of you get bat bucks. 299 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,352 Kaboom! 300 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,488 Remember, kids, if you want to be like Batman, 301 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,323 take care of your abs. Batman out! 302 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,059 Batman! Batman! Batman! 303 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,935 Thanks, Batman. You're my hero! 304 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,241 Whoo! 305 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,225 What is the password? 306 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,860 Iron man sucks. 307 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:22,961 Thank you. 308 00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:27,031 It must be great to be Batman. 309 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,534 I can only imagine he is going home right now 310 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,135 to party the night away, 311 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,871 surrounded by scores of friends 312 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,772 and lady tennis players. 313 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,984 Hey, computer. 314 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,151 I'm home. 315 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,857 Welcome home, sir. 316 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,660 Initializing batcave operating system. 317 00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,063 Hey, 'puter. 318 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,501 What's up, Batman? 319 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,270 Put this bomb in the museum. 320 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,471 Certainly, sir. 321 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,406 Thank you. 322 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,674 No worries. 323 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,776 Anything exciting happen when I was gone? 324 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,411 You have four pieces of mail. 325 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,913 Great, what'd I get? 326 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,915 You have this week's pennysaver, 327 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:20,118 two bills, and a coupon for bed bath and beyond. 328 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,120 It expires in two weeks. 329 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,588 But I've heard that some stores 330 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,423 will honor them past the expiry date. 331 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,791 Copy that. 332 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,927 Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor, 333 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,762 grouting tiles in the second bathroom 334 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,031 of the fifth master bedroom. 335 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,099 Do you want me to tell Alfred you're home? 336 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,036 No, that's cool, computer. Thanks for the update. 337 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,938 I should probably have some dinner. 338 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,440 Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge. 339 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,975 Oh, that's my favorite. 340 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,843 I can't wait. 341 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,031 Oh, not 20 minutes. Stupid. 342 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,201 Oh, wait. 343 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,704 There, which one is, uh... 344 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,672 Okay. 345 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,017 You complete me. 346 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,555 Shut up. You had me at hello. 347 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,458 Love it! 348 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,331 Hey, mom. 349 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,834 Hey, dad. 350 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,703 I, uh... 351 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,672 I saved the city again today. 352 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,311 I wish you could have seen me. 353 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,348 I think you would have been really proud. 354 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,519 There you are! 355 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,389 Oh! Alfred! I am so sorry. 356 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,091 I have incredible reflexes. 357 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,626 No, it's all my fault, sir. 358 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,927 I should have known better 359 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,295 than to sneak up on you like that. 360 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,396 Sorry, I was just lost in thought, 361 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,598 and as you know, 362 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,433 when I'm in there, I'm in deep. 363 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,269 Were you looking at the old family pictures again? 364 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,638 At the what? The old family... 365 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,807 Oh, yes! I see what you mean. 366 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,309 Look at that! The old gang. 367 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,378 Yeah. No, I wasn't. 368 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,981 I see. 369 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,116 Sir, if you don't mind my saying, 370 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,651 I'm a little concerned. 371 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,654 I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 372 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,323 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 373 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,493 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 374 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,997 and that weird one in 1966. 375 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,000 Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? 376 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,335 I don't talk about feelings, Alfred. 377 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,137 I don't have any, I've never seen one. 378 00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:36,007 I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, 379 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,942 and a heavy metal rapping machine. 380 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,145 I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 381 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:45,016 24/7, 365, at a million percent. 382 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,617 And if you think that there's something behind that, 383 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,685 then you're crazy. 384 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,819 Good night, Alfred. 385 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,221 Sir, it's morning. 386 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,126 Master Bruce, you live on an island, 387 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,028 figuratively and literally. 388 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,529 Yeah. I love it. 389 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,298 You can't spend the rest of your life alone, 390 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,966 dressed in black, 391 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,001 listening to angry music, and staying up all night. 392 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,704 Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman. 393 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,974 But don't you think it's time 394 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,211 you finally faced your greatest fear? 395 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,312 Snakes? No. 396 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,379 Clowns? No. 397 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,480 Snake clowns? 398 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,915 Bruce, listen. 399 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:22,220 Your greatest fear is 400 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,755 being a part of a family again. 401 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,733 Nope. Now it's snake clowns, 402 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,235 because you put that idea in my head. 403 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,836 Sir? Time for push-ups! 404 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,871 One, two... We're going to 1,000. 405 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,406 I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. 406 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,408 It is possible. I'm already at 20. 407 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,411 You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party. 408 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,581 What? No. I don't wanna do that. 409 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,682 You're going to have a great time! 410 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:52,883 No, no, no. 411 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,218 You might meet some new people! 412 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,586 No, no, no! 413 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,388 You could even make some new friends. 414 00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,424 No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no... 415 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,927 No! 416 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,896 And before you go, we can do your favorite thing. 417 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,232 Tuxedo dress-up party. 418 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,943 Sir, aren't you forgetting something? 419 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,044 Nope. 420 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,245 Your cowl. 421 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,780 My what, now? 422 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,317 Your armored face disguise? 423 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,520 Fine. 424 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,291 Happy now? Indubitably. 425 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,626 Good. Must be nice to be happy. 426 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,062 Tonight, on Metropolis in focus, 427 00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,631 we have our favorite star, superman! 428 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,767 What up, Gotham! 429 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,103 Superman, tell me. How do you feel 430 00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,273 about your recent banishment of Zod to the phantom zone? 431 00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:52,777 Yeah, look, pippa, it's... It's complicated. Okay? 432 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,312 Zod and I, we've had some 433 00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,081 pretty epic battles over the years. 434 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,652 I don't believe I would be superman without fighting Zod. 435 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:06,157 See? Superman gets it. Why can't Batman? 436 00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:09,860 Check it out, guys. I built a cd rack. Ta-da! 437 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,098 And how am I supposed to get Batman's respect 438 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,168 when I'm working with these human farts? 439 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,303 Boo-boo, look at me. 440 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:22,606 You're too good for Batman. He needs to open his eyes 441 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:25,176 and see what it feels like when you're not around. Okay? 442 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,777 Yeah, pippa. I couldn't put Zod 443 00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:28,346 in a regular prison, right? 444 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,514 He's Zod. Come on! 445 00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,183 No, he needed to go someplace 446 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,052 where he could never harm Metropolis ever again. 447 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,621 The phantom zone. 448 00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:39,490 Ah, yes, the notorious space jail 449 00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,026 that houses the greatest super-villains of all time. 450 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,962 They've got, like, the sickest baddies up there. 451 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,664 They got, like, this guy. And her. 452 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,199 I'll get you, my pretty! 453 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,000 To say nothing about him. 454 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,869 - Wingardium leviosa! - And these guys. 455 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,304 Exterminate! 456 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:56,807 I'm starting to get an idea, monkey face. 457 00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:03,247 Bruce, over here! 458 00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,715 Okay, shutterbugs. Look alive, here we go. 459 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,050 I'm gonna give you three poses. You ready? 460 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,218 y face. 461 00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,652 Oops, I did it again. 462 00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:10,888 And the bad boys. What you gonna do? 463 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,224 I'm out of here, guys. Thank you. 464 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,658 Congresswoman. 465 00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:15,993 Mr. Wayne, good to see you. 466 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,561 Senator, looking great. Bruce. 467 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,566 Bruce, any advice for the new commissioner? 468 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,901 Long as he knows how to push the on 469 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,369 for the bat-signal, he'll be fine. 470 00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:27,004 Bruce, I don't know how you did it. 471 00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:28,572 You can't prove it, you didn't do it. 472 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,241 Mr. Wayne, so great to see you! Come and join us! 473 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:31,709 Mr. prime minister. 474 00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,077 Did you have some work done? 475 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:36,113 No way! 476 00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:38,916 Bruce Wayne! 477 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,885 He's the greatest orphan of all time. 478 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:44,922 Nice to see you, Mr. ambassador. 479 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,257 Mr. Wayne! 480 00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,092 You want a picture? That would be swell! 481 00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,894 Here we go. Party face! 482 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,262 Boom. Keep it. 483 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,430 Whoa! Thanks, Mr. Wayne. 484 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:53,764 Call me Bruce, champ. 485 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,366 I'm just so jazzed to meet you, sir. 486 00:23:55,368 --> 00:23:56,934 I'm sorry, did you say "jazzed"? 487 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,702 Yes! My name's Richard Grayson, 488 00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,438 but all the kids at the orphanage call me . 489 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,239 Well, children can be cruel. Yeah. 490 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:03,607 Great to see you, Bruce. Nice to see you, sir. 491 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:04,875 So, I had a question for you, sir. 492 00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,377 Okay, hit me with it. 493 00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:07,912 Do you have any advice on how to get adopted? 494 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,046 Oh, yeah. Oh, you do? 495 00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:10,080 Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph? 496 00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:11,882 Sure. 497 00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,250 Um, all right, for example, is teeth whitener a good idea? 498 00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:14,552 Yes. There you go, pal. Thanks! 499 00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:15,820 Really? Oh, yeah. 500 00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:17,421 Looking good, Bruce. Thank you so much. 501 00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,423 How about eyeliner or a foreign language? 502 00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:20,958 Try both. Bueno. 503 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,726 Look, it's the new commissioner! 504 00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:24,462 Where? Oh, she's with the mayor! Okay. Let's see. 505 00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:25,596 Here she is, everyone! 506 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,298 Oh, my darling! Hi, dad. 507 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,632 You look beautiful! 508 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:34,738 Mr. Wayne? 509 00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:37,241 Should I get experimental surgery to make my eyes larger 510 00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:38,709 and more vulnerable-looking? 511 00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:41,479 Uh, do that. 512 00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:51,856 Uh, Mr. Wayne? 513 00:24:51,858 --> 00:24:54,658 Are you currently in the market to adopt a child? 514 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,260 Yeah. Really? 515 00:24:56,262 --> 00:24:57,995 Oh, yeah. Wow. 516 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,830 Are you looking for more of a base model orphan 517 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,266 or one that has more upgraded features? Yep. 518 00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,801 Like cooking or driftwood art? 519 00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:05,202 Gymnastic abilities? Yep. Yep. 520 00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,837 Close-up street magic a la David Blaine? 521 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,839 All of it sounds great. Really? 522 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:12,376 Because all of it sounds like me. 523 00:25:12,378 --> 00:25:15,379 Mr. Wayne, do you think you'd be interested in adopting me 524 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:17,181 as your future orphan son? 525 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,315 Definitely. 526 00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,884 Oh, this is great! 527 00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,552 Because all I want is to get adopted, 528 00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:23,220 so I can finally stop being 529 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:28,325 alone. 530 00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:29,727 We've gathered here tonight 531 00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:31,862 to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon. 532 00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,697 Goodbye. 533 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:37,968 And we wish him well on his south African jungle safari! 534 00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,136 Thank you. 535 00:25:39,138 --> 00:25:41,038 Now, to introduce you 536 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,173 to his exciting new replacement. 537 00:25:43,175 --> 00:25:45,843 Everyone, meet your new commissioner! 538 00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,381 Meet Barbara Gordon! 539 00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:53,717 The new commissioner of Gotham city! 540 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,185 Whoa! 541 00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:58,489 She was top of her class at Harvard for police. 542 00:25:58,491 --> 00:25:59,990 She cleaned up the streets 543 00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:02,560 of Gotham's nearby sister city bludhaven 544 00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:04,862 using statistics 545 00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,064 and compassion. 546 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,833 And now she's bringing her new ideas 547 00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:13,604 and her nunchucks to Gotham city. 548 00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,739 Congratulations, darling. 549 00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,775 Thanks, dad. Here she is, everyone! 550 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,276 Thank you! Thanks! 551 00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:20,711 Hurray! 552 00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:21,912 Ms. Gordon, over here! 553 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,614 Big smile! Wow. 554 00:26:23,616 --> 00:26:26,350 Thank you for the oversized key to arkham asylum. 555 00:26:26,352 --> 00:26:28,252 And, uh, what's this? 556 00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:31,755 Thank you for the switch to the bat-signal. 557 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,090 Nice. 558 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:37,595 Dad, you've always done a great job 559 00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:39,530 protecting Gotham city. 560 00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:41,765 Flip! That's me. 561 00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:44,735 Thank you. Along with Batman, of course. 562 00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:46,270 Whoo! Let's hear it for Batman! 563 00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:48,072 Who I wish was here right now. 564 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,773 Oh, I'm sure he's listening. 565 00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:51,709 I'd like to ask all of you a question. 566 00:26:51,711 --> 00:26:53,944 Are you fed up with crime? 567 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,045 Uh-huh. We're all tired of crime. 568 00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:56,647 Yeah, we're sick of it. 569 00:26:56,649 --> 00:26:58,549 Great. Then let's talk about real improvements 570 00:26:58,551 --> 00:27:00,784 that will end the cycle of crime. 571 00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:02,753 I've got a four-point pilot program 572 00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,288 that I'd love to share with you. 573 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,090 I wanna hear all four points. 574 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:07,291 It's called... I am ready. 575 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:08,425 It takes a village... 576 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,060 Best opening to a title ever. 577 00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:11,629 Not a Batman. 578 00:27:12,430 --> 00:27:13,464 Waiter. Sir? 579 00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:14,598 Can I? Of course. 580 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,966 Thank you. My pleasure. 581 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,034 Thanks so much. 582 00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:21,105 What? Look. 583 00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:25,109 Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very, 584 00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,478 very, very, very, very, 585 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,646 very long time. 586 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,581 He has aged phenomenally. 587 00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:34,652 However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, 588 00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,620 Gotham city is still the most 589 00:27:36,622 --> 00:27:39,590 crime-ridden city in the world. 590 00:27:39,592 --> 00:27:40,991 She's got a great point. Interesting. 591 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:42,926 Historically speaking, that is accurate. 592 00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:44,495 He hasn't captured riddler. You know, she's right. 593 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:45,996 He hasn't captured bane. 594 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,098 Huh! Or catwoman. 595 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:52,136 Or two-face, or any of Gotham's other villains! 596 00:27:52,138 --> 00:27:53,337 He's not good at his job. 597 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,005 Including the joker! 598 00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:57,107 She's making a lot of sense. 599 00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:58,809 Excuse me. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. 600 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,511 We love you, Barbara! 601 00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,446 Yes. Hi. Bruce Wayne. 602 00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,515 Billionaire, bon vivant, gallivanter, playboy, 603 00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:06,684 Gotham's most eligible bachelor, 604 00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:07,818 like, 90 years in a row. 605 00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:09,119 That's me right there. 606 00:28:09,121 --> 00:28:10,187 I know who you are, Mr. Wayne. 607 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,789 You bet you do. Quick quest, 608 00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:14,158 what is your problem with Batman, 609 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,660 and also, what the heck, dude? 610 00:28:16,662 --> 00:28:18,295 I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne. 611 00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:20,497 I'm not a Batman hater. 612 00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:23,067 But we don't need an unsupervised adult man 613 00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:26,136 karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. 614 00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,872 We need to take what's good about Batman 615 00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:33,644 and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics 616 00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,212 and accountability. 617 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,647 I hate everything you just said. 618 00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:39,850 Because my dream is for the police force 619 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,719 to team up with Batman. 620 00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:43,087 Waiter. 621 00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:44,722 Wouldn't that be better? 622 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,557 And I know that, together, 623 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:48,559 the world's greatest detective... 624 00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,728 and Gotham's finest 625 00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,030 could clean up these crime-ridden streets. 626 00:28:55,034 --> 00:28:56,400 Forever. 627 00:28:56,402 --> 00:28:57,935 Everybody, get down! 628 00:29:00,673 --> 00:29:02,740 Grand entrance! 629 00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:05,409 Everyone! Make your way to the exits immediately! 630 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:06,844 Run! 631 00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:08,879 Team bane, block the exits. 632 00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:10,581 Going somewhere? 633 00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:13,250 Clayface, freeze, bring me the new commissioner Gordon. 634 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:15,052 We're on it. Cool. 635 00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:17,020 And, Harley, you know what to do. 636 00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:18,589 I sure do. 637 00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:21,925 It's time for operation "take out the laundry." 638 00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:25,095 Butler one, this is bat one. Do you copy? 639 00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,563 Go ahead, bat one. 640 00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,898 I need my armored face disguise, now! 641 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,399 Only if you say the magic word. 642 00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:30,534 Now! No. 643 00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:31,735 You're fired. 644 00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:33,604 No. Sir, we'll talk about this 645 00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:34,671 back at the batcave. 646 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:38,208 - Hey, 'puter. - Yes? 647 00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,077 Initialize masterbuild music. 648 00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:41,912 Right away. 649 00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:45,115 Collateral damage assessment suggests the scuttler, sir. 650 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,283 Good plan. 651 00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:53,390 Madam mayor, stay close to me. 652 00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:55,058 Head for the south exit. 653 00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:56,160 Now, ma'am. 654 00:29:58,063 --> 00:29:59,329 Go! Go! Go! 655 00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:00,764 Honey, let Batman take care of it. 656 00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:02,299 Dad, I got this. 657 00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:16,113 Scuttler online. 658 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:18,315 Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot! 659 00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:19,483 I'm almost there. 660 00:30:24,455 --> 00:30:27,157 Chief, get the mayor to safety. 661 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,660 Computer, I've got the joker in my sights. 662 00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:31,829 Team, I got the joker in my sights. 663 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:37,467 Joker! 664 00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:38,702 Joker. 665 00:30:38,704 --> 00:30:40,304 Uh, excuse me? I was about to... 666 00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:42,005 Push the bat-signal? Good call. 667 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,440 I like your instincts. 668 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:45,342 I've got a surprise for you guys. 669 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,477 And it's gonna make you smile. 670 00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:49,613 Uh-oh! His smile is our grimace. 671 00:30:49,615 --> 00:30:50,681 Everybody, get down. 672 00:30:50,683 --> 00:30:51,815 I... 673 00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:52,883 Joker, no! 674 00:30:53,518 --> 00:30:54,985 Surrender. 675 00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:56,053 What? 676 00:30:57,488 --> 00:30:59,523 Uh, what did you just say? 677 00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:02,960 I said, "I... Surrender." 678 00:31:02,962 --> 00:31:04,461 Joker, what are you doing? 679 00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:06,363 I'm sorry, my bat-ears must be malfunctioning 680 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:07,497 because it sounds... 681 00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:09,066 I surrender! 682 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:11,201 Okay, you know what? Cool it. You're a criminal. 683 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,370 You run, and I catch you. 684 00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:14,872 Not anymore, Batman. 685 00:31:14,874 --> 00:31:17,040 You were right. There is no "us." 686 00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:20,544 So, there's no point in me trying to fight you anymore. 687 00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:23,046 Therefore, I will be surrendering myself 688 00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:25,883 to our strong-willed and forward-thinking new commissioner. 689 00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,885 Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety blink, blink, blink! 690 00:31:27,887 --> 00:31:29,253 That's really suspicious. 691 00:31:29,255 --> 00:31:31,221 Yeah, it is. What are you up to, joker? 692 00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,857 I just wanna go to arkham and pay for all of my crimes. 693 00:31:33,859 --> 00:31:35,659 Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety blink, blink, blink! 694 00:31:35,661 --> 00:31:37,828 Are you actually saying "blink"? 695 00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:39,229 No! Blink, blink, blink. 696 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,397 Joker! That's enough. 697 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,165 Okay, babs. I got this. 698 00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:45,736 Not so fast, Batman. You can't fight me anymore. 699 00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:46,904 I'm off the market. 700 00:31:46,906 --> 00:31:48,839 What are you talking about? 701 00:31:48,841 --> 00:31:50,741 I'm off the menu. 702 00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:53,877 You won't get to fight any of this anymore. 703 00:31:53,879 --> 00:31:55,712 Man, am I sorry I asked. 704 00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:58,849 Anyway, have fun in jail and... 705 00:31:58,851 --> 00:32:00,217 Batman, what are you doing? 706 00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:02,085 Punching bane. 707 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,921 That was unnecessary. 708 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,423 Oh, no, you can't fight bane anymore either. 709 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:07,925 Really? 710 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,760 Yeah. Or riddler. 711 00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:11,328 Or catwoman. Or condiment king. 712 00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:13,297 Why not? 713 00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:16,033 Because we're all surrendering. 714 00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,200 Right, guys? 715 00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:18,268 We are? 716 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,469 Yes! 717 00:32:27,212 --> 00:32:29,947 Riddle me this. What just happened? 718 00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,615 It's the end of crime! 719 00:32:31,617 --> 00:32:33,050 All right! 720 00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:33,884 That was amazing! Over here, over here! 721 00:32:33,886 --> 00:32:34,952 You did it! 722 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,553 Yeah, of course I did. I'm... 723 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:37,754 Sorry, not you. 724 00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,489 We're talking to commissioner Gordon. 725 00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,258 Well, it was a team effort. I got this, babs. 726 00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:42,793 Commissioner, how do you feel? 727 00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,128 Amazing! This is a great first day. 728 00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,463 Okay. 729 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,098 Question for Batman. Shoot. 730 00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:49,566 What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? 731 00:32:49,568 --> 00:32:51,101 What do you mean, the rest of my life? 732 00:32:51,103 --> 00:32:52,803 We don't need a vigilante crime fighter 733 00:32:52,805 --> 00:32:54,237 now that there's no more crime. 734 00:32:54,239 --> 00:32:55,806 Uh, yes, you do. 735 00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:57,841 You can spend some quality time with your family. 736 00:32:58,643 --> 00:32:59,710 My... 737 00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:06,984 Okay, Batman. We'll take it from here. 738 00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:08,485 All right, listen up. 739 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,821 All of you have the right to remain silent. 740 00:33:10,823 --> 00:33:11,955 Let's roll out! 741 00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:13,757 Toodle-oo, Batman! 742 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:14,758 Bye, Batman. Au revoir, Batman. 743 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:15,826 Bye, Batman. 744 00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:17,260 Bye, Batman! 745 00:33:23,601 --> 00:33:26,003 Today is a victory 746 00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:29,973 for the citizens of Gotham city! 747 00:33:29,975 --> 00:33:33,176 No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! 748 00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:36,446 No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! 749 00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:39,716 No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! 750 00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:45,055 Is everything okay, sir? 751 00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:47,157 You've barely touched your lobster thermidor. 752 00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:49,760 I don't have time to eat lobster thermidor right now! 753 00:33:53,331 --> 00:33:54,831 Warrior two. 754 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:57,868 Pigeon pose. Tree pose. 755 00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,704 Downward dog. 756 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:01,872 Breath of fire. 757 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,173 Tree pose. 758 00:34:03,175 --> 00:34:04,474 Hey, Batman! 759 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:05,809 Barbara! 760 00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:07,044 What are you doing? 761 00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:08,845 Nothing. I have a very full life. 762 00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:11,481 No, I mean, what are you doing here? 763 00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:14,985 Surveillance. On the joker. 764 00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:17,988 Batman, we both know the joker's up to something. 765 00:34:17,990 --> 00:34:21,224 Well, then we can't just let him run around loose in a prison. 766 00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:22,592 He's not loose. 767 00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:24,561 He has to go someplace outside the law. 768 00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,329 Outside the law? Yeah. 769 00:34:26,331 --> 00:34:28,532 Somewhere like, uh... 770 00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:31,735 Hi, there. I'm here from phantom's own laundry. 771 00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,904 Here to take that bad stuff off your hands. 772 00:34:33,906 --> 00:34:36,706 Wait, that's it! The phantom zone. 773 00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,708 The phantom zone? No way! 774 00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:42,679 That is super illegal and way outside our jurisdiction. 775 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:46,083 So, why don't you and I work together 776 00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,852 inside the law, to figure out what he's up to? 777 00:34:48,854 --> 00:34:50,120 Batman works alone. 778 00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:51,755 That's my motto. Copyright Batman. 779 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:55,692 Batman, there are no more vigilantes 780 00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:57,227 allowed in Gotham city. 781 00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:58,862 Okay. Totally got it. 782 00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,764 Then I have to go into double-secret 783 00:35:00,766 --> 00:35:02,866 super vigilante mode. 784 00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:05,435 You said that out loud. 785 00:35:05,437 --> 00:35:07,104 I know that she said I said that out loud, 786 00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,705 but there's no way I did. 787 00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:11,708 She has no idea what's going on in my super-mind. 788 00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:13,577 Super-mind? 789 00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:14,978 Smoke bomb! 790 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,451 Computer, how do I put the joker 791 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:22,786 in the phantom zone? 792 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,988 Quickest route, no freeways. 793 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,459 'Puter, do you hear me? 794 00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:33,763 Hello, master Bruce. 795 00:35:33,765 --> 00:35:35,065 Alfred, there's something wrong 796 00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:36,466 with the batcomputer. Watch this. 797 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:38,301 'Puter. Nothing. 798 00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,303 'Puter. Do you see what I'm saying? 799 00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,905 There's nothing wrong with it, sir. 800 00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,307 I have just taken away your computer privileges. 801 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,112 The parental lock? You can't do that. 802 00:35:49,114 --> 00:35:51,448 Oh, I can. I've been reading 803 00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:53,984 setting limits for your out-of-control child. 804 00:35:53,986 --> 00:35:55,485 You know what? Doesn't matter, 805 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,087 'cause I have a double-secret super password 806 00:35:57,089 --> 00:35:58,788 that unlocks the parental lock. 807 00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:02,159 You mean, "Alfred da -ler," with two t's? 808 00:36:03,862 --> 00:36:06,630 Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. 809 00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,165 No, it's not. 810 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:09,833 You need to take responsibility for your life. 811 00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,001 Not right now, I don't. 812 00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,737 And it starts by raising your son. 813 00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:18,542 I'm sorry. 814 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:21,011 I literally have no idea what you're talking about. 815 00:36:21,013 --> 00:36:24,648 The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Remember? 816 00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,185 Wow! Stairs. 817 00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:29,653 Whee! 818 00:36:29,655 --> 00:36:32,122 He's been living here for the past week. 819 00:36:32,124 --> 00:36:34,858 Hello, table! Boom! 820 00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,628 And I must say, I've grown rather fond of the young lad. 821 00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:40,697 Hello, secret camera. 822 00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:41,865 You should get to know him. 823 00:36:43,635 --> 00:36:46,436 You and he have a lot in common. En garde. 824 00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:50,073 Hello, family photos. 825 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:52,576 He lost his parents at a very young age. 826 00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:55,946 I've always wanted one of those. 827 00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:00,217 Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone 828 00:37:00,219 --> 00:37:02,085 to take him under their wing, 829 00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:06,289 as I took you under mine? 830 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:12,229 Alfred, you've been watching way too many lifetime movies 831 00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,563 and drinking chardonnay. 832 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,198 It's Pinot grigio, sir. Whatever it is. 833 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,400 Listen, you don't have a family. 834 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,502 You're satisfied serving me. 835 00:37:19,504 --> 00:37:22,405 So what do you know about having a surrogate son? 836 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,174 Now, I'm gonna go fight crime 837 00:37:24,176 --> 00:37:26,343 while you put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. 838 00:37:26,345 --> 00:37:27,744 Got it? 839 00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,413 As you wish, sir. 840 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,583 Whoops-a-Daisy. 841 00:37:34,886 --> 00:37:35,919 Wait, what are you doing? 842 00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:37,254 Dusting. 843 00:37:37,256 --> 00:37:38,622 You can't let him into the batcave! 844 00:37:38,624 --> 00:37:41,691 I'm not. I'm letting him into your life 845 00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:43,426 via the batcave. 846 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,437 What? 847 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,408 It's the batcave! 848 00:37:58,410 --> 00:38:00,910 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 849 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:03,079 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 850 00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:05,749 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 851 00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:10,620 Batman! Whoa! 852 00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:12,222 You're darn right, "whoa." 853 00:38:12,224 --> 00:38:14,457 Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement? 854 00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:16,793 No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic. 855 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:17,827 We can have sleepovers every night! 856 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:19,663 No, we can't. 857 00:38:19,665 --> 00:38:21,298 Wow! Look, it's the bat-sub! Wait, don't touch that! 858 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,632 Over there, it's the bat-space shuttle. 859 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,234 Please, keep your hands off that. 860 00:38:24,236 --> 00:38:25,468 Look, it's the bat-zeppelin! Don't touch that either! 861 00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:26,636 It's the bat-train! No! 862 00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:27,971 It's the bat-kayak. No! 863 00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:29,239 It's the bat-dune buggy. No! 864 00:38:29,241 --> 00:38:31,941 It's the bat... Shark repellent? 865 00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:34,611 Uh, actually, you can touch that. 866 00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:35,979 It's completely useless. 867 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,614 Whoa! Thanks, Batman! 868 00:38:37,616 --> 00:38:39,816 Please, stand over there. 869 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:42,519 And don't touch, look at, or do anything 870 00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:44,487 for the remaining moments you have in my presence. 871 00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:45,655 Okay, cool. 872 00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,290 Computer. Go ahead. 873 00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:49,526 How do I put the joker in the phantom zone? 874 00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:51,828 Joker can only be put in the phantom zone 875 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,663 using the phantom zone projector. 876 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,998 Current location... 877 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,167 Superman's fortress of solitude 878 00:38:57,169 --> 00:38:59,336 inside the atomic cauldron. 879 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:01,504 However, only a person that isn't 880 00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:03,973 shredded, ripped, or extremely swoll 881 00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:05,342 can enter the cauldron. 882 00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,210 Ugh, I'm way too buff. 883 00:39:07,212 --> 00:39:09,045 You also have beautiful abs, sir. 884 00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:10,647 That's my cross to bear. 885 00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:12,882 Additionally, once inside the cauldron, 886 00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,685 multiple Kryptonian defense systems engage, 887 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,154 including the acid moat, ring of napalm, 888 00:39:18,156 --> 00:39:19,556 and the jaws of death. 889 00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:23,326 Chance of total mission failure is 110%. 890 00:39:23,328 --> 00:39:25,695 Those are not great odds. 891 00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,863 Wait a minute. 892 00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,231 Hey, kid. Yes, sir? 893 00:39:28,233 --> 00:39:30,033 You're super nimble, right? I sure am! 894 00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,234 And small? Very. 895 00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,069 And quiet? When I desire to be. 896 00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:35,205 And 110% expendable? 897 00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:37,073 I don't know what that means, but okay. 898 00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,042 Great. Follow me. 899 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:41,878 We are gonna steal the phantom zone projector from superman. 900 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,046 Steal? Yeah. 901 00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:44,748 We have to right a wrong. 902 00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,383 And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, 903 00:39:46,385 --> 00:39:47,917 you have to do a wrong-right. 904 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,152 Gandhi said that. 905 00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:50,353 Are we sure Gandhi said that? 906 00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:52,255 I'm paraphrasing. Cool! 907 00:39:52,257 --> 00:39:54,424 Preparing fortress of solitude infiltration gear. 908 00:39:54,426 --> 00:39:55,925 Wow! Look at all these! 909 00:39:55,927 --> 00:39:57,560 Do I get a costume for the mission, too? 910 00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,028 I got a feeling that 911 00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,363 you'll just look like a kid on Halloween. 912 00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:01,531 Don't you think? 913 00:40:01,533 --> 00:40:02,599 Don't touch that. 914 00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:05,268 Whoo-hoo! 915 00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:07,337 - El mariachi. - I like that one! 916 00:40:07,339 --> 00:40:08,538 That one is culturally insensitive. Night terror. 917 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:09,873 - That one! - No way. 918 00:40:09,875 --> 00:40:11,007 - This one? - Death merchant. 919 00:40:11,009 --> 00:40:12,375 No. I'm okay. 920 00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:13,510 - This one. - Fire starter. 921 00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:14,677 This one. Clawed reigns. 922 00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,045 Excali-bat. This one? 923 00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:17,247 - Silent but deadly. - Nope. 924 00:40:17,249 --> 00:40:18,748 Bat-ryshnikov. 925 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,016 How do we feel about this one? 926 00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:22,085 Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only. 927 00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:24,220 Wait. What's that one there? 928 00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:26,222 That one was for the assignment called the Jamaican caper. 929 00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,391 The locals called me reggae man. 930 00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:29,626 I love it! 931 00:40:29,628 --> 00:40:31,628 Ah! Feels like I was poured into this. 932 00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:33,296 My only trouble is, 933 00:40:33,298 --> 00:40:35,098 these pants are just a little tight. 934 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:37,400 I don't know if I could throw a kick or jump in them. 935 00:40:37,402 --> 00:40:40,236 I got an idea. Rip! That's better! 936 00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:41,771 Now I'm free, now I'm moving. 937 00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:44,073 Come on, Batman. Let's get grooving! 938 00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,109 I can only look you in the eyes right now. 939 00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,444 Sir, what are you doing? 940 00:40:47,446 --> 00:40:48,812 What do you mean? 941 00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,281 Why is master dressed like that? 942 00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:54,951 How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met? 943 00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:56,119 To the Batmobile! 944 00:40:56,121 --> 00:40:57,520 Hot-diggity-dog! 945 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:02,492 Vehicle rotisserie engaged. 946 00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:04,727 Retrieving the speedwagon. 947 00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:07,464 Atomic batteries to power. 948 00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:08,965 Turbines to speed. 949 00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:11,100 Hey, kid. Let's go. 950 00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:12,268 Oh, shoot! 951 00:41:12,270 --> 00:41:13,503 What? 952 00:41:13,505 --> 00:41:15,638 I probably shouldn't leave 953 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,140 until I get the thumbs up 954 00:41:17,142 --> 00:41:19,409 from my new old man, Bruce Wayne. 955 00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:23,213 Uh, yeah. Here's the thing. 956 00:41:24,982 --> 00:41:27,517 Bruno and I decided 957 00:41:27,519 --> 00:41:29,652 to share custody of you. 958 00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:31,788 So I get a say 959 00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:33,990 and you're mission approved. 960 00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:36,326 No way! Is this really happening? 961 00:41:36,328 --> 00:41:37,794 Yeah. 962 00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:38,862 Whoo-hoo! 963 00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,497 A month ago, I had no dads. 964 00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:42,665 Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads! 965 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,968 And one of them is Batman! Yeah. 966 00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:47,670 So... 967 00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:49,839 Are you ready to follow Batman 968 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,842 and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way? 969 00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,511 I sure am, dad two! 970 00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,513 But first, where's the seatbelt? 971 00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:58,147 The first lesson is, 972 00:41:58,149 --> 00:42:00,183 life doesn't give you seatbelts! 973 00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:02,485 Let's go! Whoo-hoo! 974 00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:04,020 Yes! 975 00:42:05,357 --> 00:42:07,056 Faster, dad! Faster! 976 00:42:08,058 --> 00:42:09,192 Whoo! Yeah! 977 00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:10,226 Whoo! Yeah! 978 00:42:10,228 --> 00:42:11,394 Yes, yes, yes! 979 00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:15,698 Oh! Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry. 980 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,700 Get back up in that seat. There you go. 981 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,869 Hey, listen. As soon as I get back to the batcave, 982 00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,539 I'll make sure that Alfred puts seatbelts on there, okay? 983 00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:23,873 But for the time being, 984 00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:25,708 I'm just gonna put my arm right here. 985 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:29,012 And we're just gonna gently ease out of here. 986 00:42:29,014 --> 00:42:30,947 And here we go. 987 00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:46,362 Okay. Like all superheroes, 988 00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:49,032 superman has zero friends, and he spends most of his time 989 00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:51,401 basking in sweet, sweet isolation, 990 00:42:51,403 --> 00:42:53,236 here at his alone palace. 991 00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:55,071 So, I'll keep him busy 992 00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:57,707 while you sneak into that vent and get the projector. Got it? 993 00:42:57,709 --> 00:42:59,742 Copy that! Oh, here's an idea. I could also... 994 00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:00,910 Whoa, whoa. Don't even finish that thought. 995 00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,345 See this counter? 996 00:43:02,347 --> 00:43:03,947 These are all the good ideas Batman has. 997 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,782 And no one else has ever had any good ideas. 998 00:43:05,784 --> 00:43:07,050 So don't even try. 999 00:43:07,052 --> 00:43:08,751 Your super power... 1000 00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:11,554 is excellent listening and execution of my ideas. 1001 00:43:11,556 --> 00:43:13,456 Let's try it out. Cool! 1002 00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,558 Drop to the ground. Do a backflip. 1003 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,226 Do a front flip. Triple Axel. 1004 00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,762 Plie. Releve. Jete. Pythagorean theorem. 1005 00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:21,130 A squared plus b squared equals c squared. 1006 00:43:21,132 --> 00:43:22,265 Physical, I said! 1007 00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:24,567 A squared plus b squared 1008 00:43:24,569 --> 00:43:26,569 equals c squared. 1009 00:43:26,571 --> 00:43:27,637 How'd I do, dad? Mediocre. 1010 00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:29,138 Yes! 1011 00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:30,940 And don't call me "dad." Now, begin mission. 1012 00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:32,308 Yes, papa. 1013 00:43:32,310 --> 00:43:34,344 "Papa" falls into the "dad" category. 1014 00:43:52,129 --> 00:43:53,463 'Sup, supes? 1015 00:43:53,465 --> 00:43:56,099 Wow. It's Batman. 1016 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:58,134 And he's at my house. 1017 00:43:58,136 --> 00:43:59,435 Right now. 1018 00:43:59,437 --> 00:44:00,803 What are you doing here? 1019 00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:02,238 Don't worry about it, dawg. 1020 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,673 I'm not here to throw down or anything. 1021 00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:05,675 Uh, no, I would crush you. 1022 00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:08,478 Okay. Sure, sure, sure. 1023 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,346 Hey, listen. Thank me later, 1024 00:44:10,348 --> 00:44:12,148 but I just happened to be in the hood. 1025 00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:15,051 And I figured that you could probably use the... 1026 00:44:18,189 --> 00:44:19,689 company. 1027 00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:23,626 Wait a minute. 1028 00:44:23,628 --> 00:44:25,695 Are you... are you having 1029 00:44:25,697 --> 00:44:29,666 the "57th annual justice league anniversary party" 1030 00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:30,967 without me? 1031 00:44:30,969 --> 00:44:32,001 No. 1032 00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,836 No! No! No! 1033 00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:36,706 No! There must have been some mistake with the email. 1034 00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:38,307 That's crazy, man. 1035 00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:41,010 Totally! Yes, email mistakes happen all the time. 1036 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,413 Sometimes I don't get superman's emails for 1037 00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:45,281 years. 1038 00:44:45,283 --> 00:44:46,983 Great point, g.L. Great point. 1039 00:44:46,985 --> 00:44:48,518 All right. Well, that clears up everything, right? 1040 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,552 Enjoy the party, bro. 1041 00:44:49,554 --> 00:44:52,021 Hit it, dj wonder dog. 1042 00:44:59,397 --> 00:45:01,531 Hey, Batman. Do you wanna take a quick pic? 1043 00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:03,032 Sure. Where do you want me? 1044 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,067 Right there is perfect. 1045 00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:05,702 Here's the camera. Oh. 1046 00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,837 Okay, party people, get together. 1047 00:45:07,839 --> 00:45:09,372 Yeah. Everybody say... 1048 00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:11,374 Super friends! 1049 00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:12,542 Let me see it! Let me see! 1050 00:45:12,544 --> 00:45:14,444 Classic! We got everyone. 1051 00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:16,679 Yeah, everyone. 1052 00:45:16,681 --> 00:45:18,081 Thanks, Batman. 1053 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:20,750 Yeah, no problem. I did, like, a burst. 1054 00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:22,885 This party is the bomb! 1055 00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:26,389 Look at me! More like martian dance hunter, am I right? 1056 00:45:27,926 --> 00:45:29,292 'Puter, call kid. 1057 00:45:30,027 --> 00:45:31,394 Bat-dad? 1058 00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:32,862 How's it going? 1059 00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:34,764 'Cause everything is going great down here. 1060 00:45:34,766 --> 00:45:36,065 I can see the target. 1061 00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,400 But there's some kind of laser energy thing 1062 00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,735 that I can't get through. 1063 00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,670 Okay. I'll see if I can shut it off. 1064 00:45:40,672 --> 00:45:42,705 But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse to leave this party 1065 00:45:42,707 --> 00:45:44,273 without anyone noticing. 1066 00:45:45,609 --> 00:45:46,676 Bye. 1067 00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,579 Kid, tell me when it's off, all right? 1068 00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:50,613 Now? No. 1069 00:45:50,615 --> 00:45:51,714 Now? No. 1070 00:45:51,716 --> 00:45:52,749 Now? Not quite. 1071 00:45:52,751 --> 00:45:53,883 Now? No. 1072 00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:55,685 My son... No. 1073 00:45:55,687 --> 00:45:57,286 These irreplaceable crystals contain all my knowledge, 1074 00:45:57,288 --> 00:45:59,388 which I now pass on to... 1075 00:45:59,390 --> 00:46:02,391 Darn it. It's gotta be one of these. Is this the one? 1076 00:46:02,393 --> 00:46:04,460 O.M. Gosh! You did it, padre! It's off! 1077 00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:06,095 Okay. 1078 00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,430 Now you gotta make your way to the atomic cauldron 1079 00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:09,132 and get that phantom zone projector. 1080 00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:11,267 Do exactly as I say. 10-4! 1081 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,635 Okay. Jump! 1082 00:46:14,238 --> 00:46:16,172 Do a front flip. Do a backflip. 1083 00:46:17,407 --> 00:46:19,742 Run, run, run. Drop. 1084 00:46:19,744 --> 00:46:21,277 That's excellent listening. 1085 00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:22,411 Shimmy. 1086 00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:24,647 Strafe-left. Strafe-right. 1087 00:46:24,649 --> 00:46:26,249 Avoid. 1088 00:46:26,251 --> 00:46:27,950 Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, 1089 00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:29,819 and go on awesome superhero missions 1090 00:46:29,821 --> 00:46:31,521 like this one, can we use code names? 1091 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,090 Mine can be Robin. 1092 00:46:34,092 --> 00:46:35,792 I'm sorry, say that again? Robin! 1093 00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:38,461 As in the small, midwestern frail bird? 1094 00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:39,962 Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. 1095 00:46:39,964 --> 00:46:41,297 Tweet, tweet, on the street. 1096 00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:42,799 Hard pass. And a song. 1097 00:46:44,435 --> 00:46:45,802 Harder pass. Now slide! 1098 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,771 Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you 1099 00:46:48,773 --> 00:46:50,673 how to masterbuild your way inside that thing. 1100 00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:52,241 Yay! 1101 00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:54,310 Grab those 2x6's, pull out the axle studs, 1102 00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,812 disconnect the 6x10 plates. 1103 00:46:55,814 --> 00:46:56,946 Like this? 1104 00:46:56,948 --> 00:46:58,848 Whoa! Unbelievable obeying. 1105 00:46:58,850 --> 00:47:00,149 Now, let's ride. 1106 00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,517 Toes to the nose. 1107 00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:02,985 Now you're gleaming the cube. 1108 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,821 Yeah! Now, get creative. 1109 00:47:04,823 --> 00:47:07,190 Freestyle a little bit. Oh, that's good, kid! 1110 00:47:07,192 --> 00:47:09,358 It's like looking in a bat-mirror. 1111 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,227 Okay. Leap. 1112 00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:16,132 I've got the projector, dad. Booyah! 1113 00:47:16,134 --> 00:47:19,202 Now do everything we just did backwards. 1114 00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:21,804 Oh. 1115 00:47:21,806 --> 00:47:23,840 Oh! Here you go, dad. We did it! 1116 00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:27,109 Yeah! Mission accomplished. That was fun! 1117 00:47:29,213 --> 00:47:30,479 You okay, Batman? 1118 00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:32,982 You seem the opposite of stern. 1119 00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:34,851 Yeah, I'm fine. It's just 1120 00:47:34,853 --> 00:47:37,553 watching you out there, 1121 00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:41,123 it was like the world wasn't all darkness anymore. 1122 00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:44,727 For a brief moment 1123 00:47:44,729 --> 00:47:48,064 I could have sworn I felt something. 1124 00:47:48,066 --> 00:47:51,167 That feeling is pride, sir. 1125 00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:52,668 You're right. 1126 00:47:52,670 --> 00:47:54,537 I am super proud. 1127 00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:58,174 Of myself. 1128 00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:01,744 For being such a good teacher, obviously. 1129 00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:04,180 Yeah, you're a great teacher. 1130 00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:05,882 I am? 1131 00:48:05,884 --> 00:48:08,551 Yeah! I wanna be just like you when I grow up, padre! 1132 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,286 Wait, what did you call me? 1133 00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:13,689 I called you padre. 1134 00:48:13,691 --> 00:48:16,592 It's Spanish for "dad." Sorry. 1135 00:48:16,594 --> 00:48:20,029 Well, isn't it also a cool Spanish way to say "buddy"? 1136 00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:22,098 Yeah, I could've been saying it that way. 1137 00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:23,399 Then I'll allow it. 1138 00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,401 Oh, you're such a great padre! 1139 00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:26,736 What are you doing? 1140 00:48:26,738 --> 00:48:28,604 I'm trying to give you a big old hug. 1141 00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:31,040 Thought you were attacking me. 1142 00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,743 Hey, you up for another top secret superhero mission 1143 00:48:33,745 --> 00:48:35,244 to defeat the joker? 1144 00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:37,546 Oh, I am down to stop that clown. 1145 00:48:37,548 --> 00:48:39,916 But I don't wanna make my other dad, Bruce Wayne, angry. 1146 00:48:39,918 --> 00:48:41,450 Do you think we'll be done before my bedtime? 1147 00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:42,718 Bedtime? 1148 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,287 Batman's life lesson number two. 1149 00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:46,255 Vigilantes don't have bedtimes. 1150 00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,723 Yes! 1151 00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,793 So, what's the vigilante policy on cookies? 1152 00:48:50,795 --> 00:48:53,896 Unlimited! 1153 00:48:53,898 --> 00:48:57,033 All right, kid. We need to avoid commissioner Gordon. 1154 00:48:58,135 --> 00:49:00,436 So, lesson number three. 1155 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:02,071 When going stealth, 1156 00:49:02,073 --> 00:49:04,607 you gotta hide every part of you, 1157 00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:05,689 physically and emotionally. 1158 00:49:06,643 --> 00:49:08,110 Got it? Yeah! 1159 00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,780 Already failed. Now, what I need you to do 1160 00:49:10,782 --> 00:49:13,449 is use the naturally dark areas 1161 00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:14,750 of your costume, 1162 00:49:14,752 --> 00:49:16,986 and integrate into the dark parts 1163 00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:18,454 of this environment. 1164 00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:19,655 Okay. 1165 00:49:19,657 --> 00:49:21,624 Can you see me? Yes. 1166 00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:23,759 How about now? Yes. 1167 00:49:23,761 --> 00:49:25,761 What about now? Now? Yes. 1168 00:49:25,763 --> 00:49:27,630 Yes. You're a goner, kid. 1169 00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,632 Batman? Barbara! 1170 00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:34,603 Batman? Batman! 1171 00:49:34,605 --> 00:49:36,005 Hey, there. Look at you. 1172 00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:37,673 Who's this? Hi, police lady. 1173 00:49:37,675 --> 00:49:39,342 Is that your son? Yes, I am. 1174 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:41,477 Is that my son... No, that's just weird. 1175 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:42,979 It's weirder if it's not your son. 1176 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:45,481 Right. No, I don't... 1177 00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:47,616 I'm not in a relationship or anything. 1178 00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:49,685 I could have a kid. 1179 00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:52,154 I mean, if I met the right lady, 1180 00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:55,324 and if she was just standing right in front of me, 1181 00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,692 and we looked at each other and thought, 1182 00:49:56,694 --> 00:49:58,527 "hey, let's do this." 1183 00:49:58,529 --> 00:50:00,496 "Let's be together." 1184 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,131 Batman? Yes? 1185 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:03,666 I hope you're back because you've decided 1186 00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:05,167 to work together 1187 00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,669 on the joker case. 1188 00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:08,004 Uh... 1189 00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:10,506 Yeah. Absolutely! 1190 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:11,841 Great. 1191 00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:14,543 Ooh. Arkham asylum. 1192 00:50:14,545 --> 00:50:16,145 So, before we question the joker, 1193 00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,680 I'm gonna need you to hand over all your weapons. 1194 00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,348 I mean, I don't know if I have anything... 1195 00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:20,683 Oh! 1196 00:50:20,685 --> 00:50:22,184 I just got a couple here. There. 1197 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,519 Is that it? Yeah. 1198 00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,154 Oh. Of course. 1199 00:50:25,156 --> 00:50:26,655 What about the utility belt? Anything in your cape? 1200 00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,057 Under your cowl? 1201 00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:29,492 And your shoes. 1202 00:50:29,494 --> 00:50:30,826 There we go. 1203 00:50:30,828 --> 00:50:32,528 Uh... This is really uncomfortable. 1204 00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,563 Sorry. My shoes are part of my pants. 1205 00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:37,033 Oops. 1206 00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:38,401 Batman? Yes? 1207 00:50:38,403 --> 00:50:40,202 Why is your "not son" 1208 00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:41,570 trying to smuggle 1209 00:50:41,572 --> 00:50:43,005 the phantom zone projector into arkham? 1210 00:50:43,007 --> 00:50:45,708 What? Hey, kid. What is this? 1211 00:50:45,710 --> 00:50:47,743 Batman, give me the phantom zone projector. 1212 00:50:47,745 --> 00:50:50,046 No. Batman! 1213 00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:52,214 Give me the phantom zone projector! Give it to me! No, no, no! Whoa! Nice. 1214 00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,683 I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu at Harvard for police. 1215 00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:57,386 Oh, yeah? Well, guess who got a phd in smoke bombs! 1216 00:50:57,388 --> 00:50:58,521 Dr. Batman. 1217 00:50:58,523 --> 00:50:59,922 Guards! Get them! 1218 00:50:59,924 --> 00:51:01,323 Freeze, Batman! 1219 00:51:01,325 --> 00:51:03,059 Hey, kid. This is a training exercise. 1220 00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:04,560 These guys are my bros. Go ahead 1221 00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:06,195 and take a couple of them out. Cool! 1222 00:51:06,197 --> 00:51:07,496 Hey, frank. 1223 00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:08,831 You want a piece of Robin? 1224 00:51:08,833 --> 00:51:10,232 Barney! Nice compound fracture! 1225 00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,967 How'd you like a punch, Glen? 1226 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,070 Code red! 1227 00:51:14,072 --> 00:51:16,072 I need total security lockdown, now! 1228 00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:19,975 Om! 1229 00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:22,878 'Sup, joker? 1230 00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,280 Namaste, Batman. 1231 00:51:24,282 --> 00:51:25,948 Namaste. Gross. 1232 00:51:25,950 --> 00:51:27,583 Ooh. Briefs man. Me, too. 1233 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,919 Cut the baloney. Kid, guard the door, will ya? 1234 00:51:29,921 --> 00:51:31,387 On it! Take that, Alan! 1235 00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:32,755 Huh. Looks like you're going 1236 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:34,890 to a lot of trouble for little old me. 1237 00:51:34,892 --> 00:51:37,226 I must be your greatest enemy after all. 1238 00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:38,761 Right, Batman? 1239 00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:40,096 I see what you're trying to do. 1240 00:51:40,098 --> 00:51:41,564 And what is that? 1241 00:51:41,566 --> 00:51:42,898 You're trying to entrap me 1242 00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:44,967 into a relationship. Really? 1243 00:51:44,969 --> 00:51:46,402 Yeah, and it's not gonna work. 1244 00:51:46,404 --> 00:51:47,770 Oh, yes, it is. 1245 00:51:47,772 --> 00:51:49,105 Because I'm inside your head. 1246 00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:51,574 No, you're not! No, you're not! 1247 00:51:51,576 --> 00:51:52,808 I knew you'd say that. 1248 00:51:52,810 --> 00:51:54,276 No, you didn't! No, you didn't! 1249 00:51:54,278 --> 00:51:56,278 And I knew you'd say that! 1250 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,481 See? We aren't so different, I and you. 1251 00:51:58,483 --> 00:51:59,615 It's, "you and I!" It's, "you and I!" 1252 00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:01,617 Argh! Admit it. 1253 00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:02,952 I'm your greatest enemy. 1254 00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:04,487 You're not my greatest enemy, joker. 1255 00:52:04,489 --> 00:52:06,956 Okay, then send me to the phantom zone. 1256 00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:08,090 Fine, I will. 1257 00:52:08,092 --> 00:52:10,960 And prove I'm your greatest enemy. 1258 00:52:12,096 --> 00:52:13,629 Batman, don't do this. 1259 00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:15,798 As long as you're in the phantom zone, 1260 00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,299 I'll be saving Gotham city, 1261 00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:19,135 and that's all that matters to me. 1262 00:52:19,137 --> 00:52:20,603 Goodbye, joker. 1263 00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:22,771 Oh, Batman, thank you! 1264 00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:28,477 Yes! That's what I call saving the city again! 1265 00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,346 Batman, what are you doing? 1266 00:52:30,348 --> 00:52:33,015 I'm Batman-ing. 1267 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,686 Stop it! 1268 00:52:37,688 --> 00:52:39,321 Batman, I can't believe you did this. 1269 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:40,489 Hi, police lady. 1270 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,191 And even worse, 1271 00:52:42,193 --> 00:52:44,273 you've made this kid into an accessory to your crime. 1272 00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:46,762 Sorry, kid. 1273 00:52:46,764 --> 00:52:48,130 That's okay, ma'am. As long as I'm doing 1274 00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:49,632 a dime in the big house with my old man, 1275 00:52:49,634 --> 00:52:51,333 everything's gonna be a-okay. 1276 00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:53,502 Officers, take this projector to the evidence room. 1277 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,371 You got it. And get this man some pants. 1278 00:52:55,373 --> 00:52:56,805 I'm good the way I am. 1279 00:52:56,807 --> 00:52:59,408 B go, why has nobody fist bumped me yet? 1280 00:53:00,677 --> 00:53:04,346 You know, when I was a kid, 1281 00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:07,383 I wanted to be you, Batman. 1282 00:53:07,385 --> 00:53:09,552 I wanted to be as strong 1283 00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:13,189 and as fast and as smart as Batman. 1284 00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:15,724 But you're not who I thought you were. 1285 00:53:15,726 --> 00:53:17,092 Uh... what do you mean? 1286 00:53:17,827 --> 00:53:19,862 You can't be a hero 1287 00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:21,597 if you only care about yourself. 1288 00:53:22,232 --> 00:53:24,266 Barbara, I... 1289 00:53:26,503 --> 00:53:28,537 I think you're underestimating the importance 1290 00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:31,073 of the joker being in the phantom zone. 1291 00:53:31,075 --> 00:53:33,542 Really, it's kind of a stroke of genius. All the... 1292 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:34,710 Hey, where are you going? 1293 00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:36,745 I just put joker in the one place 1294 00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:38,314 he can't do anyone any harm. 1295 00:53:39,549 --> 00:53:41,417 Yeah. 1296 00:53:41,419 --> 00:53:44,053 But what if you just gave joker 1297 00:53:44,055 --> 00:53:45,754 exactly what he wanted? 1298 00:54:10,747 --> 00:54:11,814 Oh! 1299 00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:16,352 Whoa! 1300 00:54:16,354 --> 00:54:18,621 Look at this place! Am I being too loud? 1301 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,423 Hi! Oh, my gosh! 1302 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,459 Sorry. I always do that. 1303 00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:24,760 How about a warning next time? 1304 00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:26,195 You're so right, and I am so wrong. 1305 00:54:26,197 --> 00:54:28,130 Welcome to the phantom zone, bad guy. 1306 00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:29,865 Yeah, bad guy. 1307 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:31,433 My name is Phyllis. Oh, that was my grandma's name. 1308 00:54:31,435 --> 00:54:34,103 Now hold still while I scan you. 1309 00:54:34,105 --> 00:54:35,804 Scanning for badness. 1310 00:54:35,806 --> 00:54:37,539 Trying to assess whether you are bad. 1311 00:54:41,946 --> 00:54:44,280 Ugh! Your whole thing screams "bad guy." 1312 00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:46,649 Oh, yeah. I'm a really bad person. 1313 00:54:46,651 --> 00:54:48,751 But with vulnerabilities. 1314 00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,719 Who, me? No way. 1315 00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:53,922 So, where do you keep all the other bad people in this place? 1316 00:54:53,924 --> 00:54:55,624 They're standing right behind you. 1317 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:56,825 Whoa! 1318 00:54:58,061 --> 00:54:59,228 Hi there, guys. 1319 00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:00,663 Lovely to meet you all. I'm the... 1320 00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:03,499 Oh, fist bump? There we... handshake? 1321 00:55:03,501 --> 00:55:04,967 It doesn't matter. I'm the joker. 1322 00:55:04,969 --> 00:55:06,502 Take a look at the new guy. 1323 00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:08,971 Guess they'll just let anybody in here. 1324 00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,606 Oh, no, no, no. I'm very bad, too. 1325 00:55:10,608 --> 00:55:12,908 They just showed a video montage... 1326 00:55:12,910 --> 00:55:14,310 Boring! What? 1327 00:55:14,312 --> 00:55:16,245 You're boring. He looks delicious. 1328 00:55:16,247 --> 00:55:17,680 Let's eat this guy. 1329 00:55:19,116 --> 00:55:21,517 Stop with the violence for just a second! 1330 00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:24,987 What if I told you I could get you outta here? 1331 00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:27,656 I'm sorry, what'd you just say? 1332 00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,325 That's right. I'm so bad, 1333 00:55:29,327 --> 00:55:32,494 I got myself thrown into this heck-hole on purpose! 1334 00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,796 I'm listening. 1335 00:55:33,798 --> 00:55:35,998 Count me interested. 1336 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,966 Look, everyone here knows 1337 00:55:37,968 --> 00:55:40,502 what it's like to be hurt by a hero, don't they? 1338 00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,638 We've all been taken for granted, right? 1339 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,506 - Yeah, bro. - I'm relating. 1340 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:48,277 Well, that's why I came to this space prison. 1341 00:55:48,279 --> 00:55:49,878 To recruit the universe's greatest... 1342 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,113 We'll do it! 1343 00:55:51,115 --> 00:55:52,681 I'm sorry? 1344 00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,049 You were going to say something about recruiting 1345 00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:55,617 the universe's greatest villains 1346 00:55:55,619 --> 00:55:58,287 to conquer a superhero. 1347 00:55:58,289 --> 00:56:00,155 Am I right? Uh, yeah. 1348 00:56:00,157 --> 00:56:02,124 - Well, we're in! - Yay! 1349 00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:03,492 Really? Because I brought a powerpoint... 1350 00:56:03,494 --> 00:56:04,827 Still boring! 1351 00:56:04,829 --> 00:56:06,161 Yeah. Just get on with it. 1352 00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:07,896 You want us to humiliate him? 1353 00:56:07,898 --> 00:56:09,231 I certainly do. Yes. 1354 00:56:09,233 --> 00:56:11,834 You want us to make him grovel at your feet? 1355 00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:13,869 I would like to see that very much! 1356 00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:16,071 You want us to smite him? 1357 00:56:16,073 --> 00:56:17,639 Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1358 00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:19,375 You want us to make the rivers of Gotham city 1359 00:56:19,377 --> 00:56:21,243 run red with his blood? 1360 00:56:21,245 --> 00:56:22,711 Oh, that's... 1361 00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,980 Oh, no blood? How do you feel about lava? 1362 00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:26,048 Yes! Lava. 1363 00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,416 - Done. - Yay! 1364 00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:28,717 I can't wait to crush buildings. 1365 00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,085 Excuse me. Hello? 1366 00:56:30,087 --> 00:56:31,854 Over here. I don't want to be a downer, 1367 00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,989 but how exactly are we going to get outta this place? 1368 00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:37,426 Oh, leave that to me. 1369 00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:39,228 Don't wanna jinx us, 1370 00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:41,397 but I'll be a lot happier when this phantom zone projector 1371 00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:42,998 is locked up tight. 1372 00:56:44,335 --> 00:56:45,768 Going up, ma'am? 1373 00:56:45,770 --> 00:56:49,571 No. You're going down! 1374 00:56:49,573 --> 00:56:51,940 Look out! Smash! 1375 00:56:51,942 --> 00:56:54,576 I guess you're right. I am going up. Ding! 1376 00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,914 Here comes the... 1377 00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:01,750 Phantom zone! 1378 00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:05,888 Huh? 1379 00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:08,957 I'm gonna go start looting. 1380 00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:12,428 Hello, Gotham city! 1381 00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:15,230 The clown prince of crime 1382 00:57:15,232 --> 00:57:16,899 is back! 1383 00:57:16,901 --> 00:57:19,401 Commissioner Gordon, you gotta take a look at this. 1384 00:57:19,403 --> 00:57:20,736 What's that? 1385 00:57:20,738 --> 00:57:22,871 A monkey and dog are friends. 1386 00:57:22,873 --> 00:57:24,273 Not that. That! 1387 00:57:24,275 --> 00:57:27,476 And I've come to finally take over the city. 1388 00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:29,611 But in order to do that, 1389 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:33,582 I need to break my friends out of a giant, scary prison. 1390 00:57:33,584 --> 00:57:34,917 Hey, guys, he means us! 1391 00:57:34,919 --> 00:57:36,118 Yay! 1392 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,586 And I ain't talking about 1393 00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:40,422 those rogue losers dressed in cosplay! 1394 00:57:40,424 --> 00:57:42,391 Oh! Me-ouch. 1395 00:57:42,393 --> 00:57:44,760 I'm talking about my new peeps! 1396 00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:46,495 And they're just like me. 1397 00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:49,832 The greatest villains you'll ever see. 1398 00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:50,999 You wanna meet them? 1399 00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:52,734 No. Too bad. 1400 00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:55,604 He's evil, he's magic, 1401 00:57:55,606 --> 00:57:58,607 and it's about to get tragic. 1402 00:57:58,609 --> 00:58:00,309 It's Voldemort. 1403 00:58:00,311 --> 00:58:01,677 Magic! 1404 00:58:03,179 --> 00:58:04,780 You are a fish. 1405 00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:05,914 You are a frog. 1406 00:58:05,916 --> 00:58:07,749 You are a fish frog. 1407 00:58:07,751 --> 00:58:09,751 He's a 9,000-year-old incarnation of evil, 1408 00:58:09,753 --> 00:58:11,620 with an eye for jewelry. 1409 00:58:11,622 --> 00:58:13,355 Give it up for Sauron! 1410 00:58:13,357 --> 00:58:15,757 Good afternoon, Gotham city. 1411 00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:23,098 He likes long, violent walks on historic buildings. 1412 00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:24,633 It's king Kong! 1413 00:58:24,635 --> 00:58:26,335 Come at me, Gotham! 1414 00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,171 Commissioner Gordon, 1415 00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:31,673 these monsters, they're too powerful. 1416 00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,775 Can you contain them to downtown? 1417 00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:35,177 That's gonna be impossible. 1418 00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:37,045 Half the police force are fish! 1419 00:58:37,047 --> 00:58:39,648 Sergeant Jackson! Stop floppin' around! 1420 00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:41,950 And rounding out the evil all-stars, 1421 00:58:41,952 --> 00:58:43,218 wicked witch! 1422 00:58:43,220 --> 00:58:44,620 Medusa. 1423 00:58:44,622 --> 00:58:46,221 And British robots! 1424 00:58:46,223 --> 00:58:47,489 Exterminate! 1425 00:58:47,491 --> 00:58:48,724 Ask your nerd friends. 1426 00:58:49,392 --> 00:58:51,894 Hello? Bad guys? 1427 00:58:55,733 --> 00:58:59,001 What a crew, huh? And they all work for me! 1428 00:58:59,003 --> 00:59:02,971 Who's the greatest villain of them all now, Batman? 1429 00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:04,640 Still not you. 1430 00:59:04,642 --> 00:59:06,475 Actually, this does look pretty terrifying, bat-dad. 1431 00:59:06,477 --> 00:59:07,643 Whee! 1432 00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:09,311 Nice destruction all around. 1433 00:59:09,313 --> 00:59:10,479 Watch your step! 1434 00:59:10,481 --> 00:59:12,080 Good work, guys! 1435 00:59:12,082 --> 00:59:14,216 Now, all that's left for me 1436 00:59:14,218 --> 00:59:17,319 is to rub it in Batman's bat face. 1437 00:59:17,321 --> 00:59:19,755 Hey, Sauron, doesn't your flaming eye 1438 00:59:19,757 --> 00:59:22,758 have a unique ability to peer through time and space? 1439 00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,026 Uh-huh. 1440 00:59:24,028 --> 00:59:25,193 Well, I need to find Batman. 1441 00:59:25,195 --> 00:59:26,762 Where's homeboy's man cave? 1442 00:59:26,764 --> 00:59:28,730 Hmm. Give me a second. 1443 00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,032 Scary noise. 1444 00:59:30,034 --> 00:59:31,900 It's beneath Wayne manor! 1445 00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,202 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec. 1446 00:59:34,204 --> 00:59:36,038 Are you trying to tell me 1447 00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,774 that Bruce Wayne is Batman... 1448 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:41,276 's roommate? 1449 00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,712 Uh... yeah. 1450 00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,915 Evil army, this way to the batcave! 1451 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:52,187 Good grief! 1452 01:00:04,868 --> 01:00:06,401 Hey, Batman! 1453 01:00:06,403 --> 01:00:09,404 Joker's home. 1454 01:00:09,406 --> 01:00:12,574 I'm rubbing my all over your stuff. 1455 01:00:12,576 --> 01:00:14,743 We're going to have to rename this the -mobile. 1456 01:00:16,714 --> 01:00:17,946 Hey, evil army. 1457 01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:19,548 I need Batman brought here. 1458 01:00:19,550 --> 01:00:21,049 Now go get him! 1459 01:00:21,051 --> 01:00:22,484 Joker out! 1460 01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:28,056 Uh... Padre? 1461 01:00:28,058 --> 01:00:29,224 Yeah? 1462 01:00:29,226 --> 01:00:30,692 Do you ever get scared? 1463 01:00:31,227 --> 01:00:33,261 No. 1464 01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:36,565 Yeah, that's what I figured, 'cause you're Batman. 1465 01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:46,608 Hey, kid. You know who does get scared? 1466 01:00:46,610 --> 01:00:47,676 Who? 1467 01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,177 Bruce Wayne. 1468 01:00:49,179 --> 01:00:51,179 Really? Yeah. 1469 01:00:51,181 --> 01:00:52,981 Bruno told me once 1470 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:56,418 that sometimes the only way to get out of a down moment 1471 01:00:56,420 --> 01:00:58,487 is to start boxing. 1472 01:00:58,489 --> 01:01:00,622 And by "boxing," he meant 1473 01:01:00,624 --> 01:01:02,157 beatboxing. 1474 01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,592 Oh! 1475 01:01:11,969 --> 01:01:13,035 Oh. Um... 1476 01:01:18,708 --> 01:01:20,942 Oh, my gosh. This does make me feel better. 1477 01:01:20,944 --> 01:01:22,277 Okay. Shh. Batman solo. 1478 01:01:26,216 --> 01:01:28,784 The bat-fax! 1479 01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:31,053 Ha! The city needs me. Bang, bang, bang! 1480 01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:32,621 Excuse me. 1481 01:01:32,623 --> 01:01:34,723 Can you get the commissioner and show her this? 1482 01:01:34,725 --> 01:01:35,991 Batman. 1483 01:01:35,993 --> 01:01:37,626 Would you stop doing that? 1484 01:01:37,628 --> 01:01:40,228 I sent the bat-fax. 1485 01:01:40,230 --> 01:01:42,297 I hate to say this, but you're right. 1486 01:01:42,299 --> 01:01:43,465 The city needs you. 1487 01:01:43,467 --> 01:01:45,033 Yes! Let me out. 1488 01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:47,703 I'm only going to let you out on one condition. 1489 01:01:47,705 --> 01:01:48,870 Name it. 1490 01:01:48,872 --> 01:01:50,672 You can't do it by yourself. 1491 01:01:53,176 --> 01:01:54,743 Fine. Who am I working with? 1492 01:01:54,745 --> 01:01:57,379 Seal team six? Fox force five? Suicide squad? 1493 01:01:57,381 --> 01:01:59,581 No. Me. 1494 01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:00,849 Oh, I wanna help, too! 1495 01:02:00,851 --> 01:02:02,384 And I shall join as well. Whoa! 1496 01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,186 Alfred pennyworth at your service, ma'am. 1497 01:02:04,188 --> 01:02:05,754 How did you... Alfred, you gotta let me 1498 01:02:05,756 --> 01:02:07,556 out of here. Sir, those creatures 1499 01:02:07,558 --> 01:02:09,491 out there are unlike anything we've ever seen. 1500 01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:11,727 Speak for yourself. You don't know everything I've seen. 1501 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:13,095 I haven't told you everything. 1502 01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:15,564 And you'll never be able to defeat them alone. 1503 01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:17,766 And it'll be more fun if we all do it together! 1504 01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:19,735 What's the worst thing that could happen? 1505 01:02:19,737 --> 01:02:21,670 What are you so afraid of? 1506 01:02:21,672 --> 01:02:23,638 The thing I'm most afraid of? 1507 01:02:28,678 --> 01:02:31,012 I gotta be honest with you. It's snake clowns. 1508 01:02:31,014 --> 01:02:32,347 Yeah, that's not a thing. 1509 01:02:32,349 --> 01:02:33,949 Well then, nothing. 1510 01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:37,018 I'm not afraid of anything. Okay. 1511 01:02:37,020 --> 01:02:38,420 Prove it. 1512 01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:40,188 Oh, I will. Good. 1513 01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:42,624 Do you know what the b-a-t in Batman stands for? 1514 01:02:42,626 --> 01:02:44,926 Not really. Best at teamwork. 1515 01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:47,596 Best at teamwork man is my full name. 1516 01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:49,531 Yay! We're going on a family trip. 1517 01:02:49,533 --> 01:02:51,266 This is not a family trip. 1518 01:02:51,268 --> 01:02:52,601 I can wear my costume, too. 1519 01:02:52,603 --> 01:02:53,935 Well, luckily for us, 1520 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:54,870 you left your costume back at the... 1521 01:02:54,872 --> 01:02:56,304 Rip! Oh! 1522 01:02:56,306 --> 01:02:58,640 Nope. Under your clothes. That's perfect. 1523 01:02:58,642 --> 01:03:01,143 Rip! Alfred, what are you doing? 1524 01:03:01,145 --> 01:03:02,277 I miss the '60s. 1525 01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:03,812 Hey, can scarecrow help? 1526 01:03:03,814 --> 01:03:05,781 Yeah! He's destroying our city, too! 1527 01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:07,649 Permit us to lend you assistance. 1528 01:03:07,651 --> 01:03:09,451 Yeah. Why don't we use these guys? 1529 01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:10,986 What am I gonna do? Get a bunch 1530 01:03:10,988 --> 01:03:12,454 of criminals together to fight the criminals? 1531 01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:14,022 That's a stupid idea. 1532 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:19,661 Okay, guys. Game plan. 1533 01:03:19,663 --> 01:03:21,963 Joker's taken the projector to Wayne manor. Wayne manor. 1534 01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,565 Right. Thanks, Batman. 1535 01:03:23,567 --> 01:03:24,966 We need that projector. Projector. 1536 01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:26,835 Or there's no way to blast these monsters 1537 01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:28,637 back to the phantom zone. Monsters. Phantom zone? Yep. 1538 01:03:28,639 --> 01:03:30,305 Batman, I really don't need you to finish my... 1539 01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:31,473 Sand castles. No. 1540 01:03:31,475 --> 01:03:32,741 Sister's homework. No. 1541 01:03:32,743 --> 01:03:34,509 Succulent something. No. 1542 01:03:34,511 --> 01:03:36,077 Um... everybody? 1543 01:03:36,079 --> 01:03:39,080 Batman is in arkham asylum. 1544 01:03:39,082 --> 01:03:40,916 Get him! 1545 01:03:40,918 --> 01:03:42,217 Okay, everyone, grab on to me. 1546 01:03:42,985 --> 01:03:44,386 Whoa! 1547 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:49,858 We've gotta take cover! 1548 01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:51,326 Whoa! 1549 01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:52,661 Joker has eyes on us. 1550 01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:53,929 Where? 1551 01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:55,197 No! I mean, 1552 01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:57,499 he literally has a giant eye on us. 1553 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,501 I think that thing can see our every move! 1554 01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:00,769 Shaka-laka-lako. 1555 01:04:00,771 --> 01:04:03,004 We've got to destroy it, 1556 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:04,506 or we'll never make it to Wayne manor. 1557 01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:05,807 Uh... bat-dad? 1558 01:04:05,809 --> 01:04:07,175 I really think you should see this. 1559 01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:09,444 Building survey! 1560 01:04:09,446 --> 01:04:11,213 This building's not up to code! 1561 01:04:17,954 --> 01:04:19,855 Gotcha. 1562 01:04:23,059 --> 01:04:24,359 Is that real lava? 1563 01:04:26,028 --> 01:04:27,095 I'm okay. 1564 01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:30,866 All right, yeah. It's 100% lava. 1565 01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,369 Everyone, start throwing me bricks. 1566 01:04:34,371 --> 01:04:35,804 Right away, sir. I need a 4x6. Come on, quick. 1567 01:04:35,806 --> 01:04:36,872 - Here you go. - I need an elbow. 1568 01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:37,939 Elbow. 1569 01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:45,447 Ow! 1570 01:04:50,486 --> 01:04:51,720 Whoo! 1571 01:04:51,722 --> 01:04:54,055 Yes! I did it. Pretty cool, huh? 1572 01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:55,724 - Batman? - Yeah? 1573 01:04:55,726 --> 01:04:58,260 Why did you build this thing with only one seat? 1574 01:04:58,262 --> 01:04:59,527 'Cause last I checked, 1575 01:04:59,529 --> 01:05:02,230 I only had one . What the... 1576 01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:04,833 What have you done to Wayne manor? 1577 01:05:04,835 --> 01:05:06,768 Hey, Batman, guess what! 1578 01:05:06,770 --> 01:05:08,603 I found out one of your secrets. 1579 01:05:08,605 --> 01:05:11,339 Uh-oh. What do we have here, Batman? 1580 01:05:11,341 --> 01:05:13,575 It looks like a bunch of relationship comedies. 1581 01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:15,443 What's that one? Must love dogs. 1582 01:05:15,445 --> 01:05:16,745 Must love crying. 1583 01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:18,780 Marley & me. I love the ending. 1584 01:05:18,782 --> 01:05:21,616 Oh! Serendipity? 1585 01:05:21,618 --> 01:05:23,418 We have serendipity? I love that movie! 1586 01:05:23,420 --> 01:05:25,353 For a loner, Batman, 1587 01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,857 you sure like movies about relationships! 1588 01:05:28,859 --> 01:05:30,425 Oh! And look what else I found! 1589 01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:32,661 All your wonderful toys. 1590 01:05:34,964 --> 01:05:38,833 Accio lightning storm! 1591 01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:41,603 Uh... everyone, hold on. 1592 01:05:47,643 --> 01:05:50,712 Gremlins, dismantle that plane now! 1593 01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,448 Ugly monsters on our three. 1594 01:05:54,952 --> 01:05:56,785 Uh... Padre? Not now, kid. 1595 01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:00,188 Kind of got my hands full. 1596 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:04,059 I've got good tone. Firing. 1597 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,165 Uh... Batman? What's up, buddy? 1598 01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:11,666 Are we nearly at Wayne manor? 1599 01:06:11,668 --> 01:06:13,234 Why? 1600 01:06:13,236 --> 01:06:15,303 Uh... your number two needs to go number one. 1601 01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:17,639 I thought I told you to go back at the prison. 1602 01:06:17,641 --> 01:06:19,641 I tried. Bane was in there. So? 1603 01:06:19,643 --> 01:06:22,077 He had sort of a "get out of this bathroom now" vibe. 1604 01:06:22,079 --> 01:06:24,646 I knew I shouldn't have given you that water. 1605 01:06:26,315 --> 01:06:28,650 Can you hold it in like a big boy? 1606 01:06:28,652 --> 01:06:30,251 Engine one down. 1607 01:06:30,253 --> 01:06:31,486 Not a big deal. Don't worry about it. It's fine. 1608 01:06:31,488 --> 01:06:32,587 Engine two down. 1609 01:06:32,589 --> 01:06:33,989 It does that sometimes. 1610 01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:35,156 We've lost engine three. 1611 01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:36,558 Oh. Could live without it. 1612 01:06:38,260 --> 01:06:39,828 Engine four! 1613 01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:42,964 That I do need to fix. 1614 01:06:42,966 --> 01:06:45,100 Good news. Our bathroom problem is solved. 1615 01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:49,437 You three wait here while I go fix the engine. 1616 01:06:49,439 --> 01:06:52,340 Don't worry, Batman. You fix the batwing, I'll fly. 1617 01:06:52,342 --> 01:06:54,175 All good, babs. I've got my autopilot on it. 1618 01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:55,610 Done. 1619 01:06:55,612 --> 01:06:57,712 Autopilot? That's just a rope! 1620 01:06:57,714 --> 01:07:00,849 Exactly. All right, guys. Until I get back, rope's in charge. 1621 01:07:00,851 --> 01:07:02,450 Thanks, rope. 1622 01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:06,221 All right, let's see. 1623 01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:07,889 Yes, the piston brake out here. 1624 01:07:07,891 --> 01:07:11,693 Jet engine brake in here and... 1625 01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:13,862 Get out of here. No. Give me... no! Stop it! 1626 01:07:13,864 --> 01:07:15,563 Come on, master . We need to help him. 1627 01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:16,731 I'm with you, grandpa! 1628 01:07:16,733 --> 01:07:18,033 Get off my padre! 1629 01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:20,135 Unhand him, you animatronic fiends. 1630 01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:21,536 What are you two doing here? 1631 01:07:21,538 --> 01:07:24,205 I told you to stay in the cockpit. 1632 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,207 You disobeyed me. You're on a timeout. 1633 01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:27,909 Batman, you're on a timeout. 1634 01:07:27,911 --> 01:07:30,378 What? Alfred, you better un-timeout me right now! 1635 01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:32,814 No. Not until you un-timeout master . 1636 01:07:34,084 --> 01:07:35,917 Guys, you're all un-timeouted! 1637 01:07:35,919 --> 01:07:37,652 We have incoming! 1638 01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:39,494 Sir! Watch out for those... What are you doing? 1639 01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:46,928 Okay. Everybody, timeout off. 1640 01:07:46,930 --> 01:07:48,663 Whoo-hoo! I've been parented. 1641 01:07:48,665 --> 01:07:50,899 Batman, I can help you. No. Protect the rope. 1642 01:07:50,901 --> 01:07:52,567 The rope is fine! 1643 01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:53,735 Save master ! 1644 01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,003 I'm fine. I'll just do 1645 01:07:55,005 --> 01:07:56,571 one of my gymnastics moves to... 1646 01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,240 No! 1647 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,014 ... 1648 01:08:09,685 --> 01:08:10,919 Gotcha! 1649 01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,491 Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there! 1650 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:19,194 No! 1651 01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:23,698 Alfred! 1652 01:08:32,608 --> 01:08:33,842 No. 1653 01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:40,014 No! 1654 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,283 Move over, rope. 1655 01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:45,620 Hold on! 1656 01:08:59,401 --> 01:09:00,468 Gotcha! 1657 01:09:01,670 --> 01:09:02,971 Barbara, did you see that? 1658 01:09:02,973 --> 01:09:04,639 Batrope saved Alfred. 1659 01:09:04,641 --> 01:09:07,342 Sick moves, rope. I never doubted you, bro. 1660 01:09:07,344 --> 01:09:09,644 Actually, sir, Ms. Gordon saved him. 1661 01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:11,813 Rope! You lied to me! 1662 01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:14,516 Wait a minute. You mean, without you, 1663 01:09:14,518 --> 01:09:15,884 Alfred would have been 1664 01:09:16,585 --> 01:09:18,153 street meat? 1665 01:09:18,155 --> 01:09:20,822 Batman, trust us. 1666 01:09:20,824 --> 01:09:22,757 We can do this. 1667 01:09:22,759 --> 01:09:24,659 Yeah. I know gymkata. 1668 01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:25,827 Sorry, what's that? 1669 01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,829 It's a gymnastics-based martial art. 1670 01:09:27,831 --> 01:09:30,098 I can punch those '80s monsters off the plane. 1671 01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:31,866 Uh... okay. 1672 01:09:31,868 --> 01:09:34,002 Multiple bogeys on our six. 1673 01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:35,503 Sir, I'll get them off our back. 1674 01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:37,172 I was a tail gunner for the royal air force. 1675 01:09:37,174 --> 01:09:38,673 Locked and loaded, sir! 1676 01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:40,108 Good. Love that! 1677 01:09:40,110 --> 01:09:41,843 I got an idea. We're gonna change course. 1678 01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:44,045 I want you to fly straight into that flaming eyeball. 1679 01:09:44,047 --> 01:09:47,615 What? Barbara, trust me. 1680 01:09:47,617 --> 01:09:49,851 All right. Let's do this. 1681 01:09:57,060 --> 01:09:58,860 We got a giant sea monster, 12 o'clock! 1682 01:09:58,862 --> 01:09:59,928 Got it. 1683 01:10:01,397 --> 01:10:03,698 We've got his attention. He's tracking us. 1684 01:10:08,304 --> 01:10:10,104 I've got you now. 1685 01:10:14,643 --> 01:10:16,411 Eat dirt! 1686 01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:18,713 Bob's your uncle, you ruddy duff cobblers! 1687 01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:26,754 Okay, babs, this is it. 1688 01:10:26,756 --> 01:10:28,923 Fly us straight into that eye, and wait for my signal. 1689 01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:30,258 Can it come now? 1690 01:10:30,260 --> 01:10:31,893 Can we make the signal thing happen? 1691 01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:32,994 Almost there. 1692 01:10:32,996 --> 01:10:34,996 Almost there! 1693 01:10:34,998 --> 01:10:37,265 - Fire! - Almost there! 1694 01:10:37,267 --> 01:10:38,600 That fire's coming in hot! 1695 01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,235 Hot, hot, hot! 1696 01:10:40,237 --> 01:10:41,803 Now! Barbara, dive bomb! 1697 01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,507 My eye! 1698 01:10:48,445 --> 01:10:50,745 Sauron! 1699 01:10:56,118 --> 01:10:57,652 Nothing to see. 1700 01:11:04,293 --> 01:11:05,693 Whoo-hoo! 1701 01:11:05,695 --> 01:11:07,862 Yes! That was so rad! We did it, everyone! 1702 01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:10,431 That was so great! Go team! Come on, let's hear it for us! 1703 01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:11,766 That was incredible! 1704 01:11:11,768 --> 01:11:12,934 I felt so jazzed! 1705 01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:14,569 I say "jazzed"! 1706 01:11:14,571 --> 01:11:16,638 I gotta give it to you, Batman. That was awesome. 1707 01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:18,106 Ha! And you were awesome. Thanks. 1708 01:11:18,108 --> 01:11:19,540 And you were awesome. I love compliments! 1709 01:11:19,542 --> 01:11:21,376 And you were awesome, and I was amazing. 1710 01:11:21,378 --> 01:11:23,278 I'm not trying to make it about myself, obviously. 1711 01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,545 But I just wanna make sure 1712 01:11:24,547 --> 01:11:25,980 that everyone gets a pat on the back. 1713 01:11:25,982 --> 01:11:27,649 Because it feels good. It does feel good. 1714 01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:29,150 You had a good idea, you had a good idea, 1715 01:11:29,152 --> 01:11:31,286 and you had a good idea, and I had a great idea. 1716 01:11:31,288 --> 01:11:34,122 You know what, I think that collectively, I'm gonna add... 1717 01:11:35,157 --> 01:11:36,791 one. 1718 01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,159 No way! Yes! 1719 01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:39,460 Man, that feels good. 1720 01:11:39,462 --> 01:11:41,129 Best team ever! 1721 01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:43,231 Let's take a photo! 1722 01:11:43,233 --> 01:11:44,565 All right, everyone, squeeze together. Hang on a second. 1723 01:11:44,567 --> 01:11:46,100 Nice and close! I gotta get my pump on. 1724 01:11:46,102 --> 01:11:47,568 It's worth it. Okay, everybody in? 1725 01:11:47,570 --> 01:11:48,803 These abs are no fluke. 1726 01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,905 Everyone say, "bat family!" 1727 01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:52,040 Bat family! 1728 01:11:52,808 --> 01:11:54,208 Ooh, let's take a look! 1729 01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:56,644 Look at that! 1730 01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,179 Splendid. Wow. 1731 01:11:58,181 --> 01:11:59,881 Didn't it turn out great? 1732 01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:03,384 Hey, guys! It's my first family photo! 1733 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:34,849 Hey, bat-dad. Oh! 1734 01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:36,684 Whoa. What are you doing? 1735 01:12:36,686 --> 01:12:39,053 I'm trying to give you a big, old h-u-g. 1736 01:12:39,055 --> 01:12:40,555 Okay, just... 1737 01:12:41,857 --> 01:12:44,559 Batman, are you okay? 1738 01:12:44,561 --> 01:12:46,394 Yeah, I'm fine. 1739 01:12:46,396 --> 01:12:48,696 We are just one big happy 1740 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,498 fraternity of people 1741 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,100 who did an awesome job together. 1742 01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:55,503 I can't think of any other way to put that. 1743 01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:58,005 Cool. So, guys, listen up! 1744 01:12:58,007 --> 01:12:59,741 Taking the projector from the joker 1745 01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:02,043 is gonna be our most dangerous mission yet. 1746 01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:04,078 A family battle mission! Right. 1747 01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,381 Salvage what you can out of the scuttler, and maybe root around, 1748 01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:08,049 see if you can find a few vitaminwaters 1749 01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:09,517 or something, and then we'll head out. 1750 01:13:09,519 --> 01:13:11,419 Right away, sir. Anything for you, padre. 1751 01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,226 I think I'll need snowshoes. 1752 01:13:18,228 --> 01:13:20,094 Yeah, I don't think you'll need snowshoes, 1753 01:13:20,096 --> 01:13:21,896 but could you grab that flashlight? 1754 01:13:21,898 --> 01:13:23,097 Batman? Padre? 1755 01:13:23,099 --> 01:13:24,365 Sir? 1756 01:13:24,367 --> 01:13:27,034 What are you doing? Hey, Batman. 1757 01:13:27,036 --> 01:13:28,436 Please, wait! 1758 01:13:28,438 --> 01:13:29,604 'Puter. 1759 01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:32,774 Yes, sir? 1760 01:13:32,776 --> 01:13:34,575 I'm locking in some coordinates now. 1761 01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:37,912 Take the scuttler to the taco stand 1762 01:13:37,914 --> 01:13:39,747 on the border of Gotham city and bludhaven. 1763 01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:41,416 No! 1764 01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:43,418 I want you to get these guys a couple of chimichangas 1765 01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:46,087 and three jarritos. Sir! 1766 01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:49,223 And then keep them there until this whole attack on Gotham city blows over. 1767 01:13:49,225 --> 01:13:52,093 Padre, please. Don't do this! 1768 01:13:52,095 --> 01:13:54,429 Batman, you need us! 1769 01:13:54,431 --> 01:13:56,931 How many times I gotta tell you? 1770 01:13:56,933 --> 01:13:59,767 Batman works alone. 1771 01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:01,502 No, we have to stick together. 1772 01:14:02,771 --> 01:14:03,938 Please. 1773 01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:06,741 Now go on, scuttler. Go! 1774 01:14:06,743 --> 01:14:08,743 - Go! Just get outta here. - Batman. 1775 01:14:08,745 --> 01:14:09,944 Padre! Get moving! 1776 01:14:09,946 --> 01:14:11,312 Please! 1777 01:14:11,314 --> 01:14:13,114 Just go. 1778 01:14:13,116 --> 01:14:15,416 Batman! Please, wait! Scuttler, move out! 1779 01:14:15,418 --> 01:14:17,285 You're doing the wrong thing! 1780 01:14:17,287 --> 01:14:19,620 Listen to me! Don't do this! Sir, please. Sir! 1781 01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,022 No! 1782 01:14:42,811 --> 01:14:45,146 - Scanning for intruders. - Scanning for intruders. 1783 01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,714 Scanning for intruders. 1784 01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:51,152 Hi, bats. 1785 01:14:51,154 --> 01:14:52,820 What have you done to my... 1786 01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:54,489 Bruce Wayne's house? 1787 01:14:54,491 --> 01:14:56,324 You'd better hope he's a cool guy 1788 01:14:56,326 --> 01:14:57,625 and doesn't go crazy. 1789 01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:59,327 What happened to all your friends? 1790 01:14:59,329 --> 01:15:00,995 I don't need friends. 1791 01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,597 I don't need anyone to stop you. 1792 01:15:04,634 --> 01:15:06,167 Are you sure about that? 1793 01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,035 Look in the mirror, Batman. 1794 01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:13,341 When I saw you working with your friend-family, 1795 01:15:13,343 --> 01:15:15,076 I actually thought you'd changed. 1796 01:15:15,711 --> 01:15:16,978 But, no. 1797 01:15:16,980 --> 01:15:18,446 You pushed them away. 1798 01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:24,719 You've run away from every other person in your life. 1799 01:15:24,721 --> 01:15:27,355 But I'm the one you're always chasing. 1800 01:15:27,357 --> 01:15:29,824 Is this about that stupid "greatest enemy" thing? 1801 01:15:29,826 --> 01:15:31,392 No, it's not. 1802 01:15:32,661 --> 01:15:33,961 Not anymore. 1803 01:15:33,963 --> 01:15:35,229 You tell him, joker! 1804 01:15:35,231 --> 01:15:36,731 It's time for a fresh start. 1805 01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:38,032 He's not worth it. 1806 01:15:38,034 --> 01:15:41,536 I think after 78 years, I deserve respect! 1807 01:15:41,538 --> 01:15:44,005 That is right. Respect! 1808 01:15:44,007 --> 01:15:48,242 Do you realize that you have never once 1809 01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:50,077 said the words, 1810 01:15:50,079 --> 01:15:51,712 "I hate you, joker"? 1811 01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:52,880 Not once. 1812 01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:54,582 Well, I am starting to feel 1813 01:15:54,584 --> 01:15:56,250 pretty annoyed with you right now. 1814 01:15:56,252 --> 01:15:57,485 That's for darn sure. 1815 01:15:57,487 --> 01:16:00,421 Annoyed is not the same thing! 1816 01:16:00,423 --> 01:16:02,456 Listen, Batman. 1817 01:16:02,891 --> 01:16:04,859 I... 1818 01:16:04,861 --> 01:16:06,227 Hate you. 1819 01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:07,995 Aww! That's nice. 1820 01:16:08,730 --> 01:16:09,964 Now you say it. 1821 01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,100 Me, too. 1822 01:16:16,905 --> 01:16:19,540 You won't. You won't change. 1823 01:16:19,542 --> 01:16:22,410 'Cause you can't. You won't, and you can't. 1824 01:16:22,412 --> 01:16:24,045 Batman will never change. 1825 01:16:24,047 --> 01:16:26,247 You know what, boo-boo? Just shut it down. 1826 01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,449 These diseased lunatics are right. 1827 01:16:28,451 --> 01:16:29,617 Yes, we are! 1828 01:16:29,619 --> 01:16:32,086 I am not gonna be part 1829 01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:34,889 of a one-sided relationship any longer! 1830 01:16:34,891 --> 01:16:36,290 Yes! What are you talking about? 1831 01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:38,092 You and I are done! What is wrong with you? 1832 01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:39,226 I'm moving on! 1833 01:16:39,228 --> 01:16:40,595 That's ridiculous. 1834 01:16:40,597 --> 01:16:42,563 And on my way out, 1835 01:16:42,565 --> 01:16:45,733 I'm gonna blow up Gotham city! 1836 01:16:45,735 --> 01:16:47,768 No. You're not serious. 1837 01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:50,738 Wingardium leviosa! No! 1838 01:16:50,740 --> 01:16:52,940 You know what? For once, Batman, you're right. 1839 01:16:52,942 --> 01:16:55,409 I'm not your greatest enemy. 1840 01:16:55,411 --> 01:16:57,278 Your greatest enemy 1841 01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,213 is you. 1842 01:16:59,215 --> 01:17:01,282 Goodbye, Batman. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. 1843 01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:02,783 Good for you, boo-boo! 1844 01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:04,051 Yay! 1845 01:17:04,053 --> 01:17:05,453 Everybody, get a bomb. Let's go. 1846 01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:07,154 Bomb, bomb, bomb. Let's bomb it out. 1847 01:17:07,156 --> 01:17:08,289 Yay! 1848 01:17:11,927 --> 01:17:14,061 Say goodbye, Gotham city! 1849 01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:26,841 Whoa. Hi! 1850 01:17:26,843 --> 01:17:28,342 Whoa! 1851 01:17:28,344 --> 01:17:30,011 Oh, I am so sorry. 1852 01:17:30,013 --> 01:17:31,512 It was all my fault, I keep doing that. 1853 01:17:31,514 --> 01:17:33,948 Welcome to the phantom zone, bad guy. 1854 01:17:33,950 --> 01:17:35,349 What are you talking about? 1855 01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:36,784 I'm not a bad guy. 1856 01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:38,319 But you're all in black. You have a cape. 1857 01:17:38,321 --> 01:17:39,654 And you wear a big, scary mask. 1858 01:17:39,656 --> 01:17:40,955 Well, I'm not. 1859 01:17:40,957 --> 01:17:42,456 And you kicked me in the face. 1860 01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:44,425 Listen, I'm Batman. 1861 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,494 Oof! You even sound like a bad guy. 1862 01:17:46,496 --> 01:17:48,162 I swear, I am a good guy. 1863 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,164 Okay, Mr. Batman. 1864 01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:51,999 Hold still while I scan you. 1865 01:17:52,001 --> 01:17:54,001 Scanning for badness. 1866 01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:55,636 Yes, sir? 1867 01:17:55,638 --> 01:17:57,038 You're super nimble, right? I sure am! 1868 01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:59,206 And 110% expendable? 1869 01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,175 I don't know what that means, but okay. 1870 01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:02,376 How'd I do, dad? Mediocre. 1871 01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:04,645 Yes! And don't call me dad. 1872 01:18:04,647 --> 01:18:05,713 Sorry. 1873 01:18:07,549 --> 01:18:08,883 Alfred, put that kid 1874 01:18:08,885 --> 01:18:10,818 on the next jet to the orphanage. 1875 01:18:10,820 --> 01:18:12,853 But doesn't he deserve a chance 1876 01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:15,356 for someone to take him under their wing, 1877 01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:18,526 as I took you under mine? 1878 01:18:18,528 --> 01:18:20,728 Listen, you don't have a family. 1879 01:18:20,730 --> 01:18:23,297 So what do you know about having a surrogate son? 1880 01:18:26,868 --> 01:18:28,703 Batman! 1881 01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:30,905 We have to stick together. 1882 01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:32,640 Please. 1883 01:18:34,876 --> 01:18:38,145 Joker, you mean nothing to me. 1884 01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:41,982 No one does. 1885 01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:46,987 Huh. 1886 01:18:46,989 --> 01:18:49,590 You're not a traditional bad guy. 1887 01:18:49,592 --> 01:18:52,259 But you're not exactly a good guy, either. 1888 01:18:52,261 --> 01:18:53,894 - Batman? - Padre? 1889 01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:55,730 You even abandoned your friends. 1890 01:18:55,732 --> 01:18:58,432 What? Go on, scuttler. Go. 1891 01:18:58,434 --> 01:19:00,101 Batman, no. No! Don't do this! 1892 01:19:00,103 --> 01:19:01,702 Abandoned? No. 1893 01:19:01,704 --> 01:19:03,404 No, I was trying to protect them. 1894 01:19:03,406 --> 01:19:05,406 By pushing them away? 1895 01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:07,742 Well, yeah. 1896 01:19:07,744 --> 01:19:10,311 Are they really the ones you're protecting? 1897 01:19:13,515 --> 01:19:15,583 Computer, Batman's in danger. 1898 01:19:15,585 --> 01:19:17,585 Please, computer, take us back! 1899 01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,954 Do you really want the man who made you to come to harm? 1900 01:19:19,956 --> 01:19:21,922 Batman programmed me to obey him. 1901 01:19:21,924 --> 01:19:24,592 But he didn't say to not not rescue him. 1902 01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:26,894 What are they doing? 1903 01:19:26,896 --> 01:19:29,657 Come on, guys. Let's hustle. Gotham city's not gonna blow itself up. 1904 01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:31,966 Well, hello! 1905 01:19:37,405 --> 01:19:39,740 'Puter, go to super-secret stealth mode. 1906 01:19:42,812 --> 01:19:44,779 Hold on! No! 1907 01:19:44,781 --> 01:19:46,447 Evil buddies, those are my last three 1908 01:19:46,449 --> 01:19:48,883 painful reminders of Batman. 1909 01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:50,084 Run! 1910 01:19:50,086 --> 01:19:51,285 Come on, Alfred. This way. 1911 01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:52,987 Wait, where's ? 1912 01:19:52,989 --> 01:19:54,722 The little guy? He's over there. 1913 01:19:54,724 --> 01:19:56,257 Initializing batcave operating system. 1914 01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:57,725 What's he doing? 1915 01:19:57,727 --> 01:19:59,894 I've gotta save my family! Just think. 1916 01:19:59,896 --> 01:20:01,128 What would Batman do? 1917 01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,496 What? 1918 01:20:02,498 --> 01:20:04,098 I know. Not listen to anyone else. 1919 01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:05,332 Be mean to people. 1920 01:20:05,334 --> 01:20:07,067 Destroy as much property as possible. 1921 01:20:07,069 --> 01:20:09,403 Talk in a really low, gravelly voice. 1922 01:20:09,405 --> 01:20:11,138 And go it alone. 1923 01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:12,439 Kid, don't do that. 1924 01:20:12,441 --> 01:20:13,841 Atomic batteries to power. 1925 01:20:13,843 --> 01:20:14,942 Turbines to speed. 1926 01:20:14,944 --> 01:20:16,143 Don't do what I would do! 1927 01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:17,812 I never even taught you how to drive! 1928 01:20:17,814 --> 01:20:19,914 Hold on a second, brick lady. 1929 01:20:19,916 --> 01:20:22,016 I'm so sorry. I need to get down there and stop this. 1930 01:20:22,018 --> 01:20:23,317 I can't let you go. 1931 01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:24,752 My boss will be really mad at me. 1932 01:20:24,754 --> 01:20:26,487 Yeah. But I bet your boss would be happy 1933 01:20:26,489 --> 01:20:28,489 if you were able to get all those bad guys back in here. 1934 01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:30,191 Hmm. She sure would. 1935 01:20:30,193 --> 01:20:31,525 Then let me try. 1936 01:20:31,527 --> 01:20:32,927 Let me get down there and help them. 1937 01:20:32,929 --> 01:20:34,762 But haven't you tried that before? 1938 01:20:36,198 --> 01:20:37,832 This way, Alfred. 1939 01:20:39,334 --> 01:20:41,769 You do the same thing over and over. 1940 01:20:45,842 --> 01:20:47,541 What's gonna change? 1941 01:20:47,543 --> 01:20:48,742 No! 1942 01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:52,513 I know what I need to do. 1943 01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:54,849 Just give me 24 hours, and I'll come back. 1944 01:20:56,184 --> 01:20:57,785 Whoa! 1945 01:20:57,787 --> 01:20:59,667 You've gotta let me go down there and save them. 1946 01:21:01,623 --> 01:21:02,690 I'll do whatever you want. 1947 01:21:03,793 --> 01:21:04,859 Please. 1948 01:21:04,861 --> 01:21:06,193 Exterminate! 1949 01:21:06,195 --> 01:21:07,728 Please. 1950 01:21:07,730 --> 01:21:09,697 Okay, but I need all the bad guys locked up in here. 1951 01:21:09,699 --> 01:21:10,798 I promise. 1952 01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:15,469 And I mean all of them. 1953 01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:19,240 One of these ons has to save my friends. 1954 01:21:19,242 --> 01:21:20,541 Self-destruct mode activated. 1955 01:21:20,543 --> 01:21:21,642 Self what? 1956 01:21:22,745 --> 01:21:24,645 Master ! No! 1957 01:21:26,883 --> 01:21:28,649 ! 1958 01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:30,618 Look who's bat! 1959 01:21:32,087 --> 01:21:33,153 What? 1960 01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,498 Everyone okay? , Alfred, Barbara. 1961 01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:46,567 Are you guys... We're fine, Batman. 1962 01:21:49,271 --> 01:21:52,640 Listen, I just wanted to say 1963 01:21:55,410 --> 01:21:57,144 that I'm really 1964 01:21:58,113 --> 01:22:00,481 really, really 1965 01:22:02,017 --> 01:22:03,751 really, really, really 1966 01:22:03,753 --> 01:22:05,152 really, really 1967 01:22:06,254 --> 01:22:07,855 s-s-s... 1968 01:22:11,092 --> 01:22:14,094 Soooo... 1969 01:22:15,463 --> 01:22:16,697 Sorry? 1970 01:22:16,699 --> 01:22:18,832 Yeah. Whoo! I did it! 1971 01:22:21,737 --> 01:22:24,004 I don't even know why you bothered coming back. 1972 01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:28,609 I was 1973 01:22:29,444 --> 01:22:30,511 afraid. 1974 01:22:31,112 --> 01:22:32,680 What? 1975 01:22:34,449 --> 01:22:36,884 The reason I came back 1976 01:22:36,886 --> 01:22:38,786 was the same reason I left you. 1977 01:22:41,823 --> 01:22:43,557 I was afraid 1978 01:22:44,826 --> 01:22:46,527 of feeling 1979 01:22:47,729 --> 01:22:50,197 the pain you feel 1980 01:22:51,599 --> 01:22:53,367 when you lose 1981 01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:57,204 someone close to you. 1982 01:23:04,746 --> 01:23:07,348 Gotham needs us. 1983 01:23:07,350 --> 01:23:10,551 So I came back to do this. 1984 01:23:11,286 --> 01:23:12,386 Flip. 1985 01:23:13,788 --> 01:23:15,956 Flip? What is that? I don't... 1986 01:23:15,958 --> 01:23:17,558 You gotta turn around. 1987 01:23:19,427 --> 01:23:22,262 I call it the babs-signal. 1988 01:23:22,264 --> 01:23:24,865 And I'm flipping the switch for you. 1989 01:23:24,867 --> 01:23:26,834 Because saving this city 1990 01:23:26,836 --> 01:23:29,003 is too big a job for one person. 1991 01:23:29,005 --> 01:23:30,671 Flip, flip. 1992 01:23:35,377 --> 01:23:37,845 So, what do you say, commish? 1993 01:23:37,847 --> 01:23:41,148 Will you work with me? 1994 01:23:41,150 --> 01:23:42,950 I need your help. 1995 01:23:44,219 --> 01:23:46,120 I thought you'd never ask. 1996 01:23:47,655 --> 01:23:50,457 I'm very, very proud of you, sir. 1997 01:23:50,459 --> 01:23:52,659 But there's still only four of us 1998 01:23:52,661 --> 01:23:54,661 against joker's entire army. 1999 01:23:54,663 --> 01:23:56,830 That's why I called in some backup. 2000 01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:58,899 Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip! 2001 01:24:00,201 --> 01:24:01,835 Whoa! 2002 01:24:01,837 --> 01:24:03,871 We saw your signal, and we came to help. 2003 01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:06,673 Joker may be done with us, but we're not done with him. 2004 01:24:06,675 --> 01:24:09,043 We will be the joker's reckoning. 2005 01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:11,412 Joker said mean stuff to us. 2006 01:24:11,414 --> 01:24:13,180 You were right, Barbara. 2007 01:24:13,182 --> 01:24:16,183 It takes a village. Not a Batman. 2008 01:24:18,521 --> 01:24:20,654 Okay. Everybody, listen up. 2009 01:24:20,656 --> 01:24:24,491 These monsters want to destroy Gotham city. 2010 01:24:24,493 --> 01:24:26,760 That's right. We need sick new vehicles. 2011 01:24:26,762 --> 01:24:28,896 An arsenal of advanced weaponry. 2012 01:24:28,898 --> 01:24:31,565 Costumes that suit our individual personalities. 2013 01:24:31,567 --> 01:24:33,067 Rip! 2014 01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:35,035 And code names to use on our walkie-talkies. 2015 01:24:35,037 --> 01:24:36,203 Call it out! 2016 01:24:36,205 --> 01:24:37,671 Your name is lady bat. 2017 01:24:37,673 --> 01:24:38,939 - Lady bat? - Bat lady. 2018 01:24:38,941 --> 01:24:40,340 - Veto! - El batarina. 2019 01:24:40,342 --> 01:24:42,009 - Nope. What? - Soccer mom... bat? 2020 01:24:42,011 --> 01:24:43,744 How about a cool costume? 2021 01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:44,945 Nice! 2022 01:24:44,947 --> 01:24:46,513 That one's called batgirl. 2023 01:24:46,515 --> 01:24:48,749 If you call me batgirl, can I call you batboy? 2024 01:24:48,751 --> 01:24:51,418 And lastly, a coordinated attack strategy, 2025 01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:53,287 and a kick- theme song! 2026 01:24:53,289 --> 01:24:54,421 Robin? 2027 01:24:54,423 --> 01:24:56,557 My superhero code name. 2028 01:24:56,559 --> 01:24:58,025 Oh, yeah. Hit it! 2029 01:24:58,027 --> 01:24:59,093 Got it! 2030 01:25:01,097 --> 01:25:03,464 No! 2031 01:25:06,735 --> 01:25:07,868 Absolutely not. 2032 01:25:10,773 --> 01:25:14,074 This music is filling me with rage. 2033 01:25:14,076 --> 01:25:16,910 Let's use it! 2034 01:25:16,912 --> 01:25:19,213 All right, team. I'm going to need to know your special powers. 2035 01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:20,581 I'm a giant Clay person! 2036 01:25:20,583 --> 01:25:22,216 I'm irritating. I have a sack for a face. 2037 01:25:22,218 --> 01:25:23,450 I make unpredictable decisions. 2038 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:24,585 I raise the stakes! 2039 01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:26,086 I can squirt ketchup! 2040 01:25:26,088 --> 01:25:27,654 Nice! Orca. 2041 01:25:27,656 --> 01:25:29,423 I'm a whale! 2042 01:25:29,425 --> 01:25:31,058 Oh, we got this covered! 2043 01:25:31,060 --> 01:25:32,159 Go team! 2044 01:25:34,964 --> 01:25:36,029 Whale, yeah! 2045 01:25:39,168 --> 01:25:40,901 Shh. Quiet. 2046 01:25:40,903 --> 01:25:43,270 Who's laying down those funky beats? 2047 01:25:43,272 --> 01:25:45,506 - We are! - Meow, meow! 2048 01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,007 Batman? 2049 01:25:47,009 --> 01:25:48,842 Evil army, get rid of them! 2050 01:25:49,677 --> 01:25:51,311 Team Gotham family, 2051 01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:52,579 activate! 2052 01:25:52,581 --> 01:25:53,814 Voldy's got this. 2053 01:25:56,084 --> 01:25:57,818 Here we go! 2054 01:25:58,319 --> 01:25:59,820 Yeah! 2055 01:26:00,855 --> 01:26:01,922 Bombarda! 2056 01:26:03,124 --> 01:26:04,525 Smash! Smash! Smash! 2057 01:26:07,295 --> 01:26:08,428 Whoa. 2058 01:26:08,430 --> 01:26:10,197 Batman, take out joker's bomb. 2059 01:26:10,199 --> 01:26:11,999 I'll get that projector! 2060 01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:14,434 10-4, co-go. 2061 01:26:14,436 --> 01:26:17,104 Freeze, clayface, take this guy out! 2062 01:26:17,106 --> 01:26:18,839 Coming through! 2063 01:26:23,278 --> 01:26:24,978 Okay, Alfred, bring the pain. 2064 01:26:26,715 --> 01:26:29,783 Bringing it, sir. For queen and country! 2065 01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:33,187 You just got union jacked! 2066 01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:37,357 Robin, get ready. 2067 01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:39,279 I'm about to teach you some father-and-son stuff. 2068 01:26:39,727 --> 01:26:41,228 First, driving. 2069 01:26:41,230 --> 01:26:43,230 Put your hands at 10 and 2. Okay. 2070 01:26:43,232 --> 01:26:46,667 Now, fly! Turn left! 2071 01:26:46,669 --> 01:26:48,202 Run over these skeletons. 2072 01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:49,636 Now drive up the wall! 2073 01:26:51,039 --> 01:26:52,973 Great driving. Thanks, padre. 2074 01:26:54,475 --> 01:26:55,542 Yeah! 2075 01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:58,178 Okay, Robin. 2076 01:26:58,180 --> 01:27:00,147 Together, we're gonna punch these guys so hard, 2077 01:27:00,149 --> 01:27:01,815 words describing the impact 2078 01:27:01,817 --> 01:27:04,918 are gonna spontaneously materialize out of thin air. 2079 01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:06,620 Yeah! 2080 01:27:11,159 --> 01:27:12,559 Yes! Yes! Yes! 2081 01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:17,364 High five! 2082 01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:19,866 Stop moving around, you Muggles. 2083 01:27:19,868 --> 01:27:22,903 All right, team, let's shut him down. 2084 01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:25,339 - Orca! - You're up, baby! 2085 01:27:25,341 --> 01:27:27,341 You wanna see a magic trick? 2086 01:27:27,343 --> 01:27:29,276 I'm gonna make you disappear. 2087 01:27:29,278 --> 01:27:30,711 Wingardium levio... 2088 01:27:30,713 --> 01:27:32,179 Me-yoink! 2089 01:27:32,181 --> 01:27:34,348 Wingardium levio... Shut up! 2090 01:27:34,350 --> 01:27:35,682 No! 2091 01:27:35,684 --> 01:27:37,284 Welcome to the phantom zone, bad guy! 2092 01:27:37,286 --> 01:27:39,119 Fudgecake! 2093 01:27:39,121 --> 01:27:40,754 Whoo! Here we go, bat team! 2094 01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:41,756 Batman, think fast! 2095 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,194 Welcome to the phantom zone, bad guy! 2096 01:27:47,196 --> 01:27:48,295 Robin, go long. 2097 01:27:48,297 --> 01:27:50,297 Nice grab. Yeah! 2098 01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,201 Oh, my gosh. Yes! 2099 01:27:54,203 --> 01:27:55,269 Here you go, grandpa. 2100 01:27:57,238 --> 01:27:58,338 Hey, Batman! 2101 01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:03,810 Get off my padre! 2102 01:28:05,046 --> 01:28:06,747 It wasn't useless after all. 2103 01:28:06,749 --> 01:28:08,715 End this, batgirl! 2104 01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:13,220 Adios, shark. 2105 01:28:14,722 --> 01:28:17,524 Okay, brb, guys. I'm gonna go defuse that... 2106 01:28:30,571 --> 01:28:31,811 This is the end of Gotham city! 2107 01:28:33,474 --> 01:28:36,143 As I predicted, we're doomed! 2108 01:28:37,345 --> 01:28:39,079 We're not doomed. I got this. 2109 01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:41,948 Everyone, grab on to me. 2110 01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:43,250 Gotcha. 2111 01:28:43,252 --> 01:28:44,351 Come on, guys. 2112 01:28:44,353 --> 01:28:45,919 We need to hold this city together. 2113 01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:49,756 Batrope, no! 2114 01:28:49,758 --> 01:28:51,525 Everybody, run! 2115 01:28:51,527 --> 01:28:53,694 No! We have to stick together. 2116 01:28:53,696 --> 01:28:54,861 Right, Batman? 2117 01:28:54,863 --> 01:28:56,330 We need to use our heads! 2118 01:28:56,332 --> 01:28:58,031 Maybe we should build something together. 2119 01:28:58,033 --> 01:28:59,366 Heads. Stick together. 2120 01:28:59,368 --> 01:29:01,301 Build something. Together. 2121 01:29:01,303 --> 01:29:03,537 Build. Together. Together. 2122 01:29:03,539 --> 01:29:04,979 We should build something together. 2123 01:29:06,474 --> 01:29:08,008 I got it. 2124 01:29:08,010 --> 01:29:10,677 You're right, babs. We need to stick together. 2125 01:29:10,679 --> 01:29:12,112 Literally. 2126 01:29:12,114 --> 01:29:13,547 Robin, quick. Give me a boost. 2127 01:29:13,549 --> 01:29:15,048 On it, padre. 2128 01:29:15,050 --> 01:29:16,950 We're gonna stick together, using our heads, 2129 01:29:16,952 --> 01:29:19,486 and the most powerful weapon of all... 2130 01:29:19,488 --> 01:29:22,055 Shredded abs. Let's do this. 2131 01:29:22,057 --> 01:29:23,490 - Meow, meow. - Yeah, let's do this. 2132 01:29:23,492 --> 01:29:24,858 Ready? Here we go. 2133 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,059 You got this, Alfred? 2134 01:29:26,061 --> 01:29:28,061 Yes, sir. Abs of steel. 2135 01:29:28,063 --> 01:29:30,230 Great! Now you bend, 2136 01:29:30,232 --> 01:29:32,432 and I'll grab the other side! 2137 01:29:33,301 --> 01:29:34,901 No! 2138 01:29:34,903 --> 01:29:36,737 - Batman, what's going on? - Are you okay? 2139 01:29:36,739 --> 01:29:38,672 I've got you. 2140 01:29:40,675 --> 01:29:41,842 Joker! 2141 01:29:41,844 --> 01:29:43,877 Please, help us! 2142 01:29:43,879 --> 01:29:45,812 No! I'm not gonna help you. 2143 01:29:45,814 --> 01:29:48,482 At least if this city is destroyed, 2144 01:29:48,484 --> 01:29:49,649 I'll die knowing 2145 01:29:49,651 --> 01:29:51,585 I'm your greatest enemy! 2146 01:29:51,587 --> 01:29:53,820 I'm gonna have to die to know it. 2147 01:29:53,822 --> 01:29:57,023 Shut up, joker! If there's no Gotham, 2148 01:29:57,025 --> 01:29:59,259 then I'll never get to fight you again. 2149 01:30:00,261 --> 01:30:02,429 What? 2150 01:30:02,431 --> 01:30:05,031 You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon, 2151 01:30:05,033 --> 01:30:07,868 and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. 2152 01:30:07,870 --> 01:30:09,603 You're the reason I've given up 2153 01:30:09,605 --> 01:30:11,371 a life spent with Russian ballerinas 2154 01:30:11,373 --> 01:30:13,407 and lady activewear models. 2155 01:30:13,409 --> 01:30:14,941 And if it wasn't for you, 2156 01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,710 I never would have learned how connected I am 2157 01:30:16,712 --> 01:30:18,278 with all these people. 2158 01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:20,313 And you. 2159 01:30:22,016 --> 01:30:24,618 So if you help me save Gotham, 2160 01:30:26,788 --> 01:30:28,622 you'll help me save us. 2161 01:30:29,557 --> 01:30:32,092 You just said "us." 2162 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:36,163 Yeah. Batman and the joker. 2163 01:30:37,932 --> 01:30:40,434 What do you say? 2164 01:30:40,436 --> 01:30:42,536 You had me at shut up. 2165 01:30:44,305 --> 01:30:45,872 How are your abs, bro? 2166 01:30:45,874 --> 01:30:49,109 Too much flab, not enough ab. Why? 2167 01:30:49,111 --> 01:30:51,278 Because I need you to crunch them. 2168 01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:52,879 Citizens of Gotham, 2169 01:30:52,881 --> 01:30:55,282 we need all of you to join us 2170 01:30:55,284 --> 01:30:57,784 and help bring this city back together. 2171 01:31:23,845 --> 01:31:26,146 I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 2172 01:31:26,148 --> 01:31:27,481 I hate you, joker. 2173 01:31:28,750 --> 01:31:30,784 I hate you, too. I hate you more. 2174 01:31:30,786 --> 01:31:32,652 I hate you the most. 2175 01:31:32,654 --> 01:31:35,121 I hate you forever. 2176 01:31:35,123 --> 01:31:36,189 Splendid! 2177 01:31:37,792 --> 01:31:39,025 We did it, everyone! 2178 01:31:43,664 --> 01:31:46,066 Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy. 2179 01:31:51,039 --> 01:31:52,939 Padre, 2180 01:31:52,941 --> 01:31:54,074 where are you going? 2181 01:31:55,109 --> 01:31:56,843 I made a promise. 2182 01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:58,912 I gotta go back to the phantom zone. 2183 01:31:59,847 --> 01:32:01,147 Sorry, kid. 2184 01:32:01,149 --> 01:32:03,283 Padre, please. 2185 01:32:03,285 --> 01:32:05,352 Don't call me padre. 2186 01:32:05,820 --> 01:32:07,787 Okay. 2187 01:32:07,789 --> 01:32:08,922 Call me... 2188 01:32:12,860 --> 01:32:14,327 Dads. 2189 01:32:14,329 --> 01:32:18,064 My two dads are the same dad. 2190 01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:21,902 But they're both leaving. 2191 01:32:22,970 --> 01:32:24,604 It's gonna be okay, kid. 2192 01:32:26,173 --> 01:32:29,509 Sometimes, losing people is part of life. 2193 01:32:29,511 --> 01:32:33,179 But that doesn't mean you stop letting them in. 2194 01:32:33,181 --> 01:32:36,149 Some very wise people taught me that. 2195 01:32:36,984 --> 01:32:38,552 My father figure. 2196 01:32:40,021 --> 01:32:42,689 My platonic coworker buddy, 2197 01:32:42,691 --> 01:32:45,325 who's a girl, but just a friend. 2198 01:32:46,894 --> 01:32:50,297 And you. Mi hijo. 2199 01:32:50,932 --> 01:32:52,399 It's Spanish 2200 01:32:53,067 --> 01:32:54,568 for "son." 2201 01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:58,438 This is my family, 2202 01:32:59,574 --> 01:33:01,608 but it's your family, too. 2203 01:34:05,906 --> 01:34:07,273 Do you have a knife? 2204 01:34:07,275 --> 01:34:08,475 Why? 2205 01:34:08,477 --> 01:34:10,110 'Cause someone needs to cut the tension 2206 01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:12,078 between the two of us immediately. 2207 01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:14,981 Okay. I deserved that. 2208 01:34:14,983 --> 01:34:16,583 Hi. Wait a minute. 2209 01:34:16,585 --> 01:34:17,951 What's going on? 2210 01:34:17,953 --> 01:34:20,253 I came back, just like I said I would. 2211 01:34:20,255 --> 01:34:22,088 You know, Mr. Batman, 2212 01:34:22,090 --> 01:34:24,691 when you're a talking brick, working at the phantom zone, 2213 01:34:24,693 --> 01:34:27,327 you see a lot of crazy things. 2214 01:34:27,329 --> 01:34:29,162 But I've finally seen a man, 2215 01:34:29,164 --> 01:34:31,698 in order to make the world a better place, 2216 01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:34,334 take a look at himself and make a change. 2217 01:34:35,269 --> 01:34:36,636 Who? 2218 01:34:36,638 --> 01:34:37,804 Superman. 2219 01:34:37,806 --> 01:34:40,106 What? I'm kidding. It's you. 2220 01:34:43,445 --> 01:34:45,879 Well, I guess I'll be seeing you on the streets, Batman. 2221 01:34:45,881 --> 01:34:48,048 I guess so. Catch you later, joker. 2222 01:34:48,050 --> 01:34:50,383 Let's go, gang. 2223 01:34:50,385 --> 01:34:53,053 Wait a minute, we're not just gonna let these criminals go, right? 2224 01:34:53,055 --> 01:34:54,688 Ah, come on, commish. Let's face it. 2225 01:34:54,690 --> 01:34:56,856 Those guys are no match for the four of us. 2226 01:34:56,858 --> 01:34:58,692 We'll give them a 30-minute head start. 2227 01:34:58,694 --> 01:35:01,494 Besides, you can't fight crime on an empty stomach. 2228 01:35:04,231 --> 01:35:05,632 Hey, computer? 2229 01:35:05,634 --> 01:35:06,966 We're home! 2230 01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:11,805 What is the password? 2231 01:35:11,807 --> 01:35:13,540 Iron man sucks! 2232 01:35:25,553 --> 01:35:26,753 When dad and me were fighting, 2233 01:35:26,755 --> 01:35:28,488 I was giving them my best one-liners. 2234 01:35:29,223 --> 01:35:30,290 You 2235 01:35:32,393 --> 01:35:34,094 complete me. 2236 01:35:47,341 --> 01:35:50,443 Holy family photo, Batman. I love it! 2237 01:35:57,351 --> 01:35:58,752 White. 2238 01:35:58,754 --> 01:36:03,356 All important movies end with a white screen. 2239 01:36:03,358 --> 01:36:05,592 And tying up loose ends. 2240 01:36:05,594 --> 01:36:07,861 We're coming for you, Gotham city! 2241 01:36:07,863 --> 01:36:09,395 Like this snake clowns bit. 2242 01:36:09,397 --> 01:36:10,630 Snake clowns? 2243 01:36:10,632 --> 01:36:12,298 Told you they were real. 2244 01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,033 Did you stick wigs onto snakes? 2245 01:36:14,035 --> 01:36:16,069 - Maybe. - That is so weird. 2246 01:36:16,071 --> 01:36:17,637 Can I play that song I wrote for the end credits? 2247 01:36:17,639 --> 01:36:18,905 That is a hard pass. 2248 01:36:18,907 --> 01:36:20,774 - Come on. - No! 2249 01:36:20,776 --> 01:36:22,208 Let the kid play whatever music he wants. 2250 01:36:22,210 --> 01:36:23,443 - No, no, no! - Please? 2251 01:36:23,445 --> 01:36:24,611 - No. - Padre? 2252 01:36:24,613 --> 01:36:26,379 Fine. 'Puter. 2253 01:36:26,381 --> 01:36:27,714 Okay, sir. 2254 01:36:27,716 --> 01:36:29,649 Yay! 2255 01:36:29,651 --> 01:36:31,618 Now playing Robin's happy, poppy music. 2256 01:36:31,620 --> 01:36:34,954 The kind that makes parents and studio executives happy. 2257 01:36:58,646 --> 01:36:59,712 Come on, everyone! 2258 01:37:19,266 --> 01:37:20,667 Come on, Batman! No! 2259 01:38:47,888 --> 01:38:50,523 Wow, that was fun! 2260 01:38:50,525 --> 01:38:53,059 Really hope nobody was recording that. 2261 01:38:53,061 --> 01:38:54,627 Let me see. Oh, this thing is on.