1 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,271 ("Radar Love" by Golden Earring playing) 2 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,793 ♪ I've been drivin' all night, my hands wet on the wheel ♪ 3 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,864 ♪ There's a voice in my head that drives my heel ♪ 4 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,703 ♪ It's my baby callin', says, "I need you here" ♪ 5 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:14,507 ♪ And it's a half past four and I'm shifting gear ♪ 6 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,278 ♪ When she is lonely ♪ 7 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,146 ♪ And the longing gets too much... ♪ 8 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,981 DJ (over radio): There's your Golden Earring, 9 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,217 and they're gonna be opening for The Who for three days 10 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,819 at Madison Square Garden, starting... 11 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,520 (radio shuts off) 12 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,964 (typewriter keys clacking) 13 00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:39,466 (typewriter bell dings) 14 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,401 (bird cawing) 15 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,750 Is that Uncle Charlie? 16 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,910 MAN: I was trying to ****ing help you pitch. 17 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,379 Help me pitch? 18 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,280 This is batting practice, okay? 19 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,216 It's not for you to help me pitch. 20 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,917 I'm worried about you. 21 00:01:57,984 --> 00:01:59,919 (overlapping chatter) 22 00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:02,122 MAN: All right, shut the **** up. 23 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,857 CHARLIE: All right, all right, all right. Ready? 24 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,191 MAN: Ah, this guy's got nothing. 25 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,993 You got nothing. Come on, Chaz. 26 00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:09,729 -CHARLIE: All right, here we go. -MAN: Come on, come on, Goose. 27 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,698 Come on, get it by him. Get it by him. 28 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,701 (indistinct chatter) 29 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,145 I'll see you back at the house. 30 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,214 Ruthie's back there, too. 31 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,816 Be a full house. 32 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,352 Okay. 33 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,490 -What are you gonna do? -MAN: Come on, Chaz. Come on. 34 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,526 (chatter continues indistinctly) 35 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,629 Come on. 36 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,564 We're going home. 37 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,735 We're going home. Again. 38 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,371 MAN: All right, here you go. Nice grip. 39 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:52,906 Here you go, kid. 40 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,276 -MAN: Use your glove. -(laughter) 41 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,280 ♪ ♪ 42 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,622 (creaking) 43 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,628 FUTURE JR: It was 1973, 44 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,331 and after failing to pay our rent for five months, 45 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:21,835 my mom and I had to move back home to my grandpa's house. 46 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,603 (sighs) 47 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,948 Home never meant the same thing to my mother as it did to me. 48 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,518 To her, it meant failure, the place you ended up 49 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,254 when all the things she was counting on fell through. 50 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:45,492 Work, apartment, boyfriend, not always in that order. 51 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,661 But I loved it. 52 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:52,799 To me, Grandpa's house was a revolving door of cousins and aunts, 53 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,602 with a full complement of laughter and tears 54 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,937 and an occasional nervous breakdown. 55 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:01,441 But above all, it's where Uncle Charlie lived. 56 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:04,744 And when you're 11 years old, you want an Uncle Charlie. 57 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:08,782 GRANDPA: Everybody needs to know the cesspool isn't taking it. 58 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,419 If you take a leak, take it outside. 59 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,588 I could use a little help in here. 60 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,358 I'm not the maid. 61 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,794 Jesus Christ! 62 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,663 FUTURE JR: My father was a radio DJ in New York. 63 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,632 They called him The Voice. 64 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:29,269 He played Top 40 hits, and he'd talk about the musicians. 65 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,404 I only met him once, and I was pretty young, 66 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:35,909 so when I could, I'd sneak away and listen to him on the radio. 67 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,912 I had to sneak, 'cause after he left us, 68 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:43,650 well, let's just say Mom took a pair of scissors to every picture he was in. 69 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,752 (laughter, indistinct chatter over TV) 70 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,290 (over radio): ♪ Sooner or later ♪ 71 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,292 -♪ Girl, you got to give in ♪ -(children laughing) 72 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:55,662 ♪ Sooner or later, love is gonna let ya ♪ 73 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,999 ♪ Sooner or later, love is gonna win ♪ 74 00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,680 ♪ It's just a matter of time ♪ 75 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,871 ♪ Before you make up your mind ♪ 76 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,607 ♪ To give all that love that you've been hidin'... ♪ 77 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,243 (indistinct sportscast playing) 78 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,414 (Mom sniffling, sobbing softly) 79 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,590 (sighs) 80 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,958 I like it. 81 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,193 (Mom sighs) 82 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:28,695 Do you? 83 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,131 It's people. I like to have people. 84 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,108 (sighs) Tomorrow is another day. 85 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,246 JR: Why does Grandpa say we should all clear out? 86 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:50,884 Because he's a selfish old prick who resents taking care of his family. 87 00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:53,620 Like Dad? 88 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,121 No, honey. 89 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,991 Grandpa resents taking care of his family. 90 00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:02,128 Your father has never taken care of anybody at all. 91 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,232 Oh. 92 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,967 (softly): Oh. 93 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,500 ("Love Will Find a Way" by Pablo Cruise playing over radio) 94 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,607 (indistinct, overlapping chatter) 95 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,243 ♪ You'll learn to find your love again ♪ 96 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,913 ♪ So keep your heart open ♪ 97 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:23,917 ♪ 'Cause love will find a way ♪ 98 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,252 ♪ Yeah. ♪ 99 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,288 (indistinct chatter continues) 100 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,458 THE VOICE: That's Pablo Cruise with "Love Will Find a Way"... 101 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,593 -(radio clatters) -(broadcast cuts out) 102 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,395 (chatter stops) 103 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,370 Hey, now, eat your cereal. 104 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,609 CHARLIE: Okay, two rules. 105 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,611 I'm never gonna let you win, ever. 106 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,280 You beat me, you know you beat me fair and square, 107 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,149 but I never let you win. 108 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,510 And I'm gonna always tell you the truth. 109 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,855 I saw you in the yard playing sports. 110 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,256 You're not very good. 111 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,526 And... probably not gonna get a whole lot better, 112 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:11,664 so it might be wise for you, in order to avoid tears and disappointment 113 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,567 and, above all, delusion, 114 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,536 you know, find some other activities that you like. 115 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,838 You know, like, uh, what do you like to do the most? 116 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:19,906 I like to read. 117 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,275 I also like to read. 118 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,310 I mean, I'm good at sports, too, but... 119 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:27,380 So, this thing about the radio. 120 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,450 You're gonna look for your father in the radio. 121 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,353 You think your father is in the radio. 122 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,488 He's not in the radio. 123 00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:40,193 He's just an ****** who happens to be on the radio. 124 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,862 Don't look for your father to save you. 125 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,833 And don't play sports. 126 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,902 That's all I have to say. 127 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,503 The game is five-card stud. 128 00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,506 (dog barking in distance) 129 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,145 JR: Mom can use some money. 130 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:03,383 THE VOICE: This is The Voice at 97.1 on your dial. 131 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,452 She's really tired after work. 132 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:08,421 THE VOICE: …top ten songs this week, you'll win a Q97 133 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,457 limited-edition brass belt buckle, 134 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,960 and you'll be registered to win $500. 135 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:16,229 What do you say? The top ten. 136 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,499 You can't win if you don't play. 137 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,903 MAN: Is this seat taken? 138 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,239 No. 139 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,410 (sighs) 140 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,786 (railway crossing bells clanging) 141 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,656 CHARLIE: Tell your cousin 142 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,292 I said you can ride the ****ing bike. 143 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,620 It's not his ****ing bike anyway. 144 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:52,232 It's a house bike. I took that bike out of the dump 145 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,234 and fixed it up for all you little ******. 146 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,669 Now they're moving to Colorado. 147 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,604 It's your bike anyway. 148 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,407 (sighing): Oh, Jesus, mother of God. 149 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,108 How did you get sick? 150 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,770 I'm not sick. 151 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,546 It's Saturday morning. 152 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,382 This is the way it is. 153 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:13,353 This is Saturday morning in the life of men. 154 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,155 Oh. 155 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,757 Go around to the bar. Get me a pack of cigarettes. 156 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,127 (phone ringing) 157 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,465 Get that before your grandmother does. 158 00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,201 I'm-I'm not here. Whoever... 159 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,437 -Hello? -THE VOICE: Hey. 160 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:34,341 Now, I know there are a lot of rug rats running around, 161 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,277 but I'm wondering if this is JR. 162 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,611 Dad? 163 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,746 Huh? What? 164 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,314 THE VOICE: That's right, buddy, if this is JR... 165 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,383 CHARLIE: Give me the ****ing phone. 166 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,318 -THE VOICE: ...I'm your father. -Mom's not here. 167 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,253 THE VOICE: Well, I'm not calling for your mother, kiddo. 168 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,488 I'm calling for you. 169 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,240 Hey, uh... 170 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,626 How would you like to see a ball game with your old man? 171 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,963 -Really? -Sure. Ball game with your old man. 172 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,832 JR: Mets or Yankees? 173 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,367 THE VOICE: Whatever you like. 174 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,602 Uncle Charlie says the Yankees are *******, 175 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,604 but the Mets drink at The Dickens. 176 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,374 How is your Uncle Charlie? 177 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,420 How are you? He wants to know. 178 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,944 I'm still short 30 bucks. 179 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,500 Tell him the Mets play the Braves tomorrow night. 180 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,285 JR: Mets play the Braves tomorrow night. 181 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,754 Doesn't mean he's gonna show up. 182 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,789 THE VOICE: Well, I will tell you what, sport. 183 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,758 I'll get a couple tickets. (clears throat) 184 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,160 And I will pick you up at your grandfather's at 6:30. 185 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,628 JR: Great. Thank you. 186 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,897 THE VOICE: We got a lot to catch up on, you and me. 187 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,132 Okay. 188 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,000 -Bye, now. -Bye. 189 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,104 You gonna get my cigarettes? 190 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,372 Oh. 191 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,842 PRIEST: Are you reading this paper? 192 00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,310 -Oh, no. -Great. 193 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,153 (chuckles softly) 194 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,522 I... I got an interview at Yale. 195 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,424 (chuckles) 196 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,539 FUTURE JR: He said to be ready at 6:30. 197 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,760 I was ready at 4:30 so as not to **** up. 198 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,145 You always remember ****ing up, so you don't want to. 199 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:24,484 The thing is, that day, I felt like I had. 200 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,686 That's the thing to remember about a kid. 201 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:29,322 The kid always thinks he ****ed up. 202 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,325 I didn't know what he looked like. 203 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:36,290 I hadn't been to New York City to see his face on billboards and buses. 204 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,531 I couldn't have picked him out of a crowd. 205 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,735 But I wondered if it was like a thing you would always know, 206 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,604 as if you would always know your father instantly. 207 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,207 It was possible. 208 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,613 -(crickets chirping) -(dog barking in distance) 209 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,715 (vehicle approaching) 210 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,784 (brakes squeaking) 211 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,256 -(engine shuts off) -(door opens) 212 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,158 (door closes) 213 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,295 A little while later, after being arrested while on air 214 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,165 for nonpayment of child support, 215 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,167 The Voice fled the state. 216 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,104 It was about this same period that he called up drunk 217 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,241 and said he put a contract on my mother's life. 218 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,909 He also threatened to kidnap me, 219 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,545 but Uncle Charlie thought this was a less serious threat, 220 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,148 as kidnapping comes with responsibilities. 221 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,686 MOM: We're the Two Musketeers, right? 222 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,655 Yeah. 223 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,191 ("Shotgun" by Jr. Walker & The All Stars playing) 224 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,531 CHARLIE: Let me show you something, okay? 225 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,500 This is the male sciences, all right? 226 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,235 You get your drink. 227 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,370 That goes there. 228 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,673 Got your pack of butts, right? 229 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,542 That goes there. 230 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,644 See that? Look at... look at this guy right there. 231 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,146 See how he's putting his money in his pocket like that? 232 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,414 -Yeah. -Never do that. 233 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,149 That's keeping your money like a drunk. 234 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,451 It's not correct. 235 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,953 Know what you also do? 236 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,788 You take care of your mother. 237 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,757 All right? 238 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,292 All right, give me a hand. 239 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,495 And you take care of, if you have one, your woman. 240 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,530 If you drink, you keep your shit together. 241 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,666 If your shit's not together, you don't drink. 242 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,601 Don't be like one of these ****** here who acts like 243 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,770 it was Jesus who came down and made him late for work 244 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,672 and spend all their money and throw back 245 00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,941 Old Hammerhead with vanilla Coke for 30 years. 246 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:30,610 You know what I'm saying? It's about being a man. 247 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,546 Get your drink. You get your butts. 248 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:37,217 Don't carry your money like a drunk. Oh, and, uh... 249 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,153 See this? This little compartment in your wallet, right? 250 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,489 That's where you keep your stashies. 251 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,250 That's like a hundred bucks, five, whatever, 252 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,930 depending on the economy. 253 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,331 Important thing is you never, ever drink that money, right? 254 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,333 What else? Hold doors. 255 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,901 Be good to your mother. 256 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,203 Teach you how to change a tire, jump a car. 257 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,571 You know, that's it. 258 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,541 Change a tire, jump a car, take care of your mother, don't drink your stashies. 259 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:04,811 Oh, one more thing-- very important. 260 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:08,810 Never under any circumstances hit a woman, 261 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,617 even if she stabs you with scissors. 262 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,751 Got it. 263 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,521 That's it. Male sciences. Right. 264 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,524 Can people read those books? 265 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,693 Can they read... 266 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:21,394 What are you, soft? 267 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,862 No, I mean, can I read them? 268 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,230 What's the name of this place? 269 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,565 The Dickens. 270 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,500 That's right. 271 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,271 Charles Dickens. You know who that is? 272 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,906 -The owner? -(chuckles) 273 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,420 Yes, you can read 'em. You can read as many as you like. 274 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,644 Take 'em in the poker room. Read 'em all. 275 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,379 Fill yourself up. 276 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,281 And you know what might happen? 277 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,984 If you read enough books, maybe, if you're lucky, 278 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,287 you could become a writer. 279 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,357 FUTURE JR: And that was it. 280 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,893 From that moment on, I wanted to be a writer. 281 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,161 (jingle playing over radio) 282 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,897 GRANDPA (singing along): ♪ Winston tastes good ♪ 283 00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:01,340 ♪ Like a cigarette should. ♪ 284 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,169 Apricots. 285 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,730 -(passes gas) -Ah. I didn't do that. 286 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:10,760 Your grandfather has a photographic memory. 287 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,812 He knows Greek and Latin. 288 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,582 But here is this-- the furniture is held together with duct tape, 289 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,840 and he's doing this-- he's farting and saying he didn't do it, 290 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:21,210 saying "apricots" for no reason. 291 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,856 That's what he did with going to college. 292 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,792 And yet you all end up back here. 293 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:28,561 MOM: You are a stingy, crazy, old bastard. 294 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,963 You are not stingy with money. 295 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,231 Haven't got any. 296 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,701 -You are stingy with love. -(passes gas) 297 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,336 I didn't do that. 298 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,538 Girls become wives and mothers. That was his point of view. 299 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,274 -You became one of them. -Oh, shut up, you old turd! 300 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,276 -(scoffs) -Because he is stingy 301 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,912 with love and understanding, that is why I have no education, 302 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,981 and that is why you-- 303 00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:51,151 I swear to God, I have no idea how-- 304 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,586 you are going to Harvard or Yale. 305 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,522 -(passes gas) -I didn't do that. 306 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,290 MOM: You are going to Harvard or Yale. 307 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,958 CHARLIE: Make up for your disappointments? 308 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,960 -Harvard or Yale. -This from a woman 309 00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:03,163 who earns 30 bucks a day. 310 00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:06,900 And after college-- at Harvard or Yale!-- 311 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,690 you are going to law school. 312 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,671 So you can sue your father for child support. 313 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,674 No, so he can help you with your fines about the septic tank. 314 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,509 (passes gas) 315 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,116 (engine shuts off) 316 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,818 (door opens) 317 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,954 (door closes) 318 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,772 SPORTSCASTER: Fregosi is the hitter facing the right-hander Jenkins. 319 00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,674 Infield playing in. 320 00:16:47,741 --> 00:16:49,242 Here comes the pitch. 321 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,245 Fastball is in there for a strike, and it's two and two. 322 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,981 (chuckles, mutters) What the **** is this? 323 00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:57,550 Hey, Charlie. How's it hanging? 324 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:58,952 Still got the clap, ******? 325 00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:00,687 You know I got it from your sister. 326 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,423 -Where's my 30 bucks? -It's up my ***. Come get it. 327 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,658 JR, say hi to your father. 328 00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:08,561 SPORTSCASTER: Jenkins sets, looks in and delivers. 329 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,797 -Swing and a miss! Strike three. -(car door closes) 330 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,966 -THE VOICE: And away we go. -(engine starts) 331 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:14,668 ("A Long Time Ago" by Jim Croce playing) 332 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,700 ♪ Seems like such a long time ago ♪ 333 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:22,676 ♪ I was walking on a lonely road ♪ 334 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,645 ♪ Getting tired of dreaming alone ♪ 335 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:30,750 ♪ Like all the lonely people I had known... ♪ 336 00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:34,187 You like living at your grandfather's house? 337 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,455 Yeah. 338 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,657 I mean... no. 339 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,227 Yes or no? 340 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,663 I mean, I like it, but Mom doesn't. 341 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,301 Well, I think your grandfather is a good man. 342 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:52,372 Marches to his own drummer, but that's what I like about him. 343 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,775 Mom says he might have lost his mind. 344 00:17:56,843 --> 00:18:00,980 Well, there's that, too. Sometimes your own drummer is a bad idea. 345 00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:04,617 ♪ Was nothing that I had not seen in your eyes... ♪ 346 00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:09,890 It makes Mom sad having to keep going to Grandpa's house. 347 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,459 ♪ I was so afraid to touch you... ♪ 348 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,294 She blame me? 349 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,363 ♪ So I just watched you sleeping... ♪ 350 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,340 See, the thing about women... 351 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:27,207 Sometimes they don't think about the cause and effect of things. 352 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,943 They want freedom, 353 00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:34,247 but then they blame you for dispensing it once they get it. 354 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,951 At least that's my experience. 355 00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:41,870 One swinging **** to another. I'll give you that one. 356 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,623 ♪ Spent so many nights a-waiting... ♪ 357 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:48,161 Hey, your mom tells me you listen to your old man on the radio a lot. 358 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,297 She says I listen too much or try to find you. 359 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:55,100 -You change stations a lot. -(chuckles) 360 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,270 That's the management. 361 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,873 You want to be a disc jockey when you grow up? 362 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,275 -I'm gonna be a lawyer. -Jesus. Why? 363 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,440 Mom wants me to. 364 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,981 Talk a lot of shit and believe anything. 365 00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,383 ♪ But in the gold of morning... ♪ 366 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,786 All right. 367 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,821 Good to see you, young man. 368 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,859 -I got a barbecue meeting with a sponsor. -(music stops) 369 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,695 -Can I come? -Nope. 370 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,768 Tell your mother not to spend that all in one place. 371 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:34,374 As for you, keep listening to the radio. 372 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:37,143 See you soon, Junior. 373 00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,979 A doctor at school says I have no identity. 374 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,481 Jesus. (laughs) 375 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,816 Get one. 376 00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,751 I'll see you on the flip side. 377 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,193 See ya. 378 00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,660 Hey, *****. 379 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,435 Good day with the kid? 380 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,738 **** you, Charlie. 381 00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:07,741 Give me my 30 bucks or get the **** out of the car. 382 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,144 Hey, don't be a ****ing... You know what? 383 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,460 Don't be trying to be a ****ing tough guy, all right? 384 00:20:13,113 --> 00:20:14,781 (grunts) 385 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,950 JR: Why'd you marry him? 386 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,618 MOM: I was young. 387 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,688 I was dumb. 388 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,957 I don't want to be a junior. 389 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,259 I don't want to have the same name. 390 00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,731 (Mom sniffles) 391 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,269 You can have any name you want. 392 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,905 ("Magic" by Pilot playing) 393 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,374 MAN: Who was the guy pitched a no-hitter on acid? 394 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,909 -MAN 2: Dock Ellis. -CHARLIE: You can take acid, 395 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:44,978 you can take ****ing Drano. You know what I'm saying? 396 00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:46,746 But you commit. You make a decision. 397 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,415 You shit or wind your watch. 398 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:52,318 You ****ing call it a day or run for president, and that's it. 399 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:57,924 ♪ Crazy music playing in the morning light... ♪ 400 00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:59,926 What do you need me to do? 401 00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:02,796 -(sighs) Mom can't go to something. -Oh. 402 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,397 I mean, what can't she go to? 403 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,320 Where we going? 404 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,234 ♪ Never believe it's not... ♪ 405 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,205 MAN: Sorry to make you wait. 406 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,208 (sighs) How can I help? 407 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,210 Uh, well, I'm not sure. 408 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:21,548 Uh, someone said he was having, uh, tantrums. 409 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,650 Maybe you said that. 410 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,419 His mother's a secretary. She's busy. She's not here, so I came. 411 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:29,220 Maybe you can tell me what this is all about. 412 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,324 The boy won't tell me what his name stands for. 413 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,693 Doesn't stand for anything. His name is JR. 414 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,362 Deal with it. 415 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,131 (chuckles softly) 416 00:21:43,937 --> 00:21:47,907 Maybe this is a weird time for me to tell you that I'm not a psychologist. 417 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,175 Why do you say that? 418 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,910 Well, because I'm not a psychologist 419 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,580 and I'm sitting here with somebody who actually is a psychologist 420 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,215 who maybe knows I'm not a psychologist. 421 00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:56,916 What are you, ****ing inert? 422 00:22:02,856 --> 00:22:04,791 (chuckles) All right. 423 00:22:04,858 --> 00:22:07,293 This is your thing? 424 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,697 Nothing is face value, and you're the smartest guy in the room, 425 00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:14,701 and you sit there looking for errors in baseline perception. 426 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,670 Oh, yeah. We all have our jobs. 427 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,772 You have yours. Knock yourself out. 428 00:22:18,872 --> 00:22:20,173 PSYCHOLOGIST: JR-- those are his initials? 429 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,941 CHARLIE: Or it's the contraction for "junior." 430 00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:23,376 What ****ing difference does it make? 431 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,460 Well, there's a very big difference if it is being concealed from him 432 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,481 that he's a junior because there is no senior in his life. 433 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,884 CHARLIE: That may never have occurred to him until you just 434 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:34,788 laid your line of bullshit on the subject to him right to his face. 435 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:39,125 It is my belief that the uncertainty about the meaning of his name 436 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:42,362 and the continual questions about it have left him without identity. 437 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:46,332 Very impressive. No identity, hence identity crisis. 438 00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:48,902 He has no identity, which causes rage. 439 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,872 He has dubiety about his identity, possibly. 440 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:57,544 How sure are you about your identity? Hmm? 441 00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:00,613 I'm curious because you seem very interested 442 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,782 in his father and his absence, 443 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,485 and you cast it in this very negative light 444 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:08,822 and bring the kid in here and you're traumatizing him. 445 00:23:08,922 --> 00:23:12,325 We both know you're calling his mother up and asking her out on dates. 446 00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:17,564 Um, that's... 447 00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:19,666 So you're willing to traumatize a little kid 448 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,701 in order to hit on his mother? 449 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:27,107 FUTURE JR: Uncle Charlie never had the money to go to college. 450 00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:28,908 He was self-taught. 451 00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:32,879 But that didn't mean some dime-store fifth-grade shrink could go toe to toe. 452 00:23:32,946 --> 00:23:34,800 (typewriter bell dings) 453 00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:36,149 (clock ticking) 454 00:23:41,354 --> 00:23:44,124 (sighs) The Family Gazette. 455 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,828 This is great, JR. 456 00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,780 (sighs) 457 00:24:10,830 --> 00:24:11,751 (lighter flicks) 458 00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:14,120 Okay. 459 00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:16,220 Here it is. 460 00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:18,858 Lose the drawings. Just get rid of 'em. 461 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,561 I know a lot of guys that think they're writers, 462 00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,330 and you'll find in life that most of them are not. 463 00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,300 Here's the thing. 464 00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,669 You got to have "it." 465 00:24:29,736 --> 00:24:34,274 I don't know what it is, but if you don't have it immediately... 466 00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:37,744 ...you never get it. 467 00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:45,485 And I say you got it. 468 00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,987 Oh. I knew it. 469 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,356 Oh, I knew it! I knew it. 470 00:24:49,456 --> 00:24:51,591 There's-there's... there's something. 471 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:53,526 Calm down. I didn't say you were good. 472 00:24:53,626 --> 00:24:55,829 I said, you know, you could be. 473 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,897 Come here. Come with me. 474 00:24:59,199 --> 00:25:00,333 (door slides open) 475 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,700 Now, what you do is you read all of those. 476 00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:08,541 Now, I don't want to talk to you unless you read all those. 477 00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,770 I also don't want to talk to you about all those. 478 00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:21,454 PRIEST: So, Yale interview? 479 00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,423 (chuckles) Yeah. 480 00:25:24,491 --> 00:25:26,659 Your mother must be thrilled. 481 00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:28,528 (laughs) 482 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:31,331 Yeah, you know, it's all she ever wanted. 483 00:25:31,398 --> 00:25:35,235 In my official capacity, I have to say, is the only thing 484 00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:37,704 to concentrate on in this world 485 00:25:37,771 --> 00:25:40,940 is the desire to see the face of God the Father. 486 00:25:42,342 --> 00:25:43,576 Right. 487 00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:46,212 However, the Church is on her last legs. 488 00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:49,215 Three people come to my mass. 489 00:25:50,450 --> 00:25:53,353 I had four, but Mrs. Cafferty took a fall 490 00:25:53,453 --> 00:25:56,122 because she didn't have a good son. 491 00:25:57,323 --> 00:25:58,825 Be a good son. 492 00:25:58,925 --> 00:26:00,527 (chuckles softly) 493 00:26:00,627 --> 00:26:02,395 That's why I'm going to the interview. 494 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:05,899 Now, tell me, when was the last time you made a good confession? 495 00:26:05,999 --> 00:26:08,680 ("Turn Back the Hands of Time" by Tyrone Davis playing) 496 00:26:08,168 --> 00:26:09,769 Not in my Yale essay. 497 00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:11,838 Well, you want to get in. 498 00:26:11,905 --> 00:26:14,700 (chuckles) Right. 499 00:26:16,176 --> 00:26:17,777 MAN: Hey. Whose kid is that? 500 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,779 My sister's. 501 00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:22,115 Which sister? The hot one or the crazy one? 502 00:26:22,215 --> 00:26:24,317 What, are you ****ing stupid? You want to die? 503 00:26:24,417 --> 00:26:26,119 (laughing) 504 00:26:26,186 --> 00:26:29,422 ♪ Can't sleep at night... ♪ 505 00:26:29,489 --> 00:26:31,257 Hey, get that kid a drink on me. 506 00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:36,129 Oh, you're backed up on Bobo. 507 00:26:36,196 --> 00:26:39,532 You know, I got a feeling that, uh, you had a reason to come down here. 508 00:26:39,632 --> 00:26:41,000 You didn't just come down here to come here. 509 00:26:41,670 --> 00:26:43,570 Maybe you forgot. 510 00:26:43,670 --> 00:26:45,905 Grandpa needs a pack of Old Golds. 511 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,708 Never keep somebody away from their cigarettes. 512 00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,944 Poor old guy's probably climbing the walls. 513 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,114 Well, you know he's gonna be back in here saying weird shit. Here you go. 514 00:26:55,215 --> 00:26:57,217 ♪ Oh, darling ♪ 515 00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:59,753 ♪ I can't hold out much longer... ♪ 516 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:01,654 I want to back up Bobo. 517 00:27:01,755 --> 00:27:04,157 (light laughter) 518 00:27:04,257 --> 00:27:06,920 With your grandfather's money? 519 00:27:06,159 --> 00:27:07,160 Yeah. 520 00:27:08,395 --> 00:27:09,863 All right. 521 00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:12,999 -Bobo, you're backed up on the kid. -This kid's all right. 522 00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:14,667 ♪ If I had just one more try... ♪ 523 00:27:14,734 --> 00:27:16,936 Today, we're gonna take a break from our studies, 524 00:27:17,370 --> 00:27:19,500 and we're gonna make invitations. 525 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,876 Handmade invitations for the father-and-son breakfast. 526 00:27:22,942 --> 00:27:25,478 All right, so you're gonna make your own invitations. 527 00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:27,747 You're gonna bring 'em home to your fathers after school. 528 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:32,419 Saturday morning, we're gonna cook them breakfast, 529 00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:35,321 and you're gonna read to them from your schoolwork, 530 00:27:35,422 --> 00:27:37,357 so everybody gets to know each other better. 531 00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:41,728 All right, and I want you to do things that you do with your dad, all right? 532 00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,464 Who needs a scissor? Who needs, like, a colored pencil or something? 533 00:27:44,531 --> 00:27:47,333 Hold on a sec. Let me get those. 534 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,869 All right? Got that? 535 00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,438 (school bell ringing) 536 00:27:51,538 --> 00:27:54,507 All right, guys, put invitations on my desk. 537 00:27:54,574 --> 00:27:57,770 Thank you, Michael, Stephen. 538 00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:58,878 Adam, excellent. 539 00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,480 I love that. 540 00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:02,148 All right. 541 00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:06,686 What is it, JR? 542 00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:08,254 I don't have a father. 543 00:28:09,322 --> 00:28:11,925 Oh. Did he pass on? 544 00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:13,626 I don't know. Maybe. 545 00:28:13,693 --> 00:28:15,362 I just don't have one. 546 00:28:15,462 --> 00:28:16,796 "Passing on" means dead. 547 00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:18,732 Oh. No, he's not dead. 548 00:28:18,832 --> 00:28:20,300 He's on the radio. 549 00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:23,690 Can I just not come to the breakfast? 550 00:28:24,104 --> 00:28:26,390 You know what, I'm gonna call your mother. 551 00:28:26,106 --> 00:28:28,541 -Okay. -Okay. 552 00:28:28,608 --> 00:28:31,440 Don't they know the way the world is today? 553 00:28:31,111 --> 00:28:34,781 It's hard to tell people about your father, JR, because... 554 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:37,500 it's hard to know where to begin. 555 00:28:37,117 --> 00:28:38,918 Maybe the police can make him go? 556 00:28:38,985 --> 00:28:42,522 -(Mom laughs) -Police can't make him pay support. 557 00:28:42,622 --> 00:28:45,759 A father-son breakfast might be tough. 558 00:28:45,825 --> 00:28:48,895 Well, why don't you take him, you son of a *****? 559 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,332 Ah. 560 00:28:53,466 --> 00:28:56,690 Why not? Why not? 561 00:28:56,169 --> 00:28:58,380 (chuckles) Oh, you're gonna take him? 562 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,760 ("Two of a Kind" by Bobby Darin & Johnny Mercer playing) 563 00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,382 ♪ Two of a kind ♪ 564 00:29:09,449 --> 00:29:10,984 ♪ For your information ♪ 565 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,520 ♪ We're two of a kind ♪ 566 00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:16,823 ♪ Two of a kind ♪ 567 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,458 ♪ It's my observation ♪ 568 00:29:18,525 --> 00:29:21,161 ♪ We're two of a kind ♪ 569 00:29:22,462 --> 00:29:24,330 ♪ Like peas in a pod ♪ 570 00:29:24,397 --> 00:29:26,320 ♪ And birds of a feather ♪ 571 00:29:26,132 --> 00:29:28,601 ♪ Alone or together you'll find ♪ 572 00:29:28,702 --> 00:29:34,407 ♪ That we are two of a kind ♪ 573 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:39,450 You two look so handsome. 574 00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:41,448 ♪ What's so wrong thinking life is a song ♪ 575 00:29:41,548 --> 00:29:44,284 ♪ And reaching for a star? ♪ 576 00:29:44,384 --> 00:29:46,820 ♪ And who's to say if we'll go the whole way? ♪ 577 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,755 I remember you. 578 00:29:48,822 --> 00:29:52,258 ♪ At least we got this far ♪ 579 00:29:52,325 --> 00:29:55,628 ♪ Sharing our lot, our vittles and viands ♪ 580 00:29:55,695 --> 00:29:58,565 ♪ We're two of an ilk ♪ 581 00:29:58,665 --> 00:30:01,201 ♪ Say, what if we've got... ♪ 582 00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:04,437 Let's go, before I change my mind. 583 00:30:07,107 --> 00:30:08,942 You have fun. 584 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,744 -Take it easy, kid. -(door opens) 585 00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:13,113 -♪ We're simila-larly inclined ♪ -(door closes) 586 00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:14,814 -♪ Because we're ♪ -(breath shuddering) 587 00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:16,383 Oh, here we go. 588 00:30:16,449 --> 00:30:19,850 ♪ Two of a kind ♪ 589 00:30:20,453 --> 00:30:23,289 ♪ We're two of a kind ♪ 590 00:30:23,356 --> 00:30:25,425 ♪ We like working single ♪ 591 00:30:25,492 --> 00:30:28,461 ♪ Or working in twos ♪ 592 00:30:28,528 --> 00:30:30,397 ♪ Keep us in mind ♪ 593 00:30:30,497 --> 00:30:32,365 ♪ Give us a jingle ♪ 594 00:30:32,465 --> 00:30:35,735 -♪ We got taps on our shoes ♪ -♪ We'll dance ♪ 595 00:30:35,835 --> 00:30:39,773 ♪ We're both of us like the Tower of Pisa ♪ 596 00:30:39,873 --> 00:30:41,841 ♪ I'm-a lean-a like-a he's-a inclined ♪ 597 00:30:41,908 --> 00:30:43,877 ♪ Because we're ♪ 598 00:30:43,943 --> 00:30:48,948 ♪ Two of a kind. ♪ 599 00:30:53,687 --> 00:30:56,990 GRANDPA: Our educational system, and indeed 600 00:30:57,900 --> 00:30:59,192 our society as a whole, 601 00:30:59,292 --> 00:31:03,797 was destroyed in the 19th century by the German influence. 602 00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:05,165 Really? 603 00:31:05,231 --> 00:31:11,370 Ability as a concept, turned into a mechanical, empirical construct. 604 00:31:11,104 --> 00:31:14,708 You may be a beneficiary of this system. 605 00:31:14,774 --> 00:31:19,279 Regardless of the system in place, 606 00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:23,616 he's the likeliest to be able to leave my house 607 00:31:23,717 --> 00:31:26,190 on his own abilities. Hmm? 608 00:31:36,463 --> 00:31:38,131 JR: Thank you for taking me. 609 00:31:38,198 --> 00:31:40,166 Aw. 610 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,902 Don't tell anybody I'm a good grandfather. 611 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:45,438 -Everybody will want one. -(laughs) 612 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:53,146 Your mother has a tumor on her thyroid 613 00:31:53,246 --> 00:31:55,482 and is going to have it out. 614 00:31:56,583 --> 00:31:59,619 It might be malignant, hmm? 615 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:03,456 Be nice to her. 616 00:32:04,624 --> 00:32:06,259 Okay. 617 00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:08,962 ("My Opening Farewell" by Jackson Browne playing) 618 00:32:11,898 --> 00:32:14,734 FUTURE JR: The biopsy proved the tumor was malignant, 619 00:32:14,834 --> 00:32:17,737 so they cut it out, along with her thyroid. 620 00:32:17,837 --> 00:32:20,607 No chemo, no radiation. 621 00:32:20,707 --> 00:32:23,743 They just cut it out, and the cancer was gone. 622 00:32:23,843 --> 00:32:26,212 Sounds easier than it was. 623 00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:29,490 Nothing in my mom's life came easy. 624 00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:33,486 ♪ A lady stands before an open window ♪ 625 00:32:33,586 --> 00:32:35,522 (vehicle approaches, brakes squeak) 626 00:32:35,622 --> 00:32:40,627 ♪ Staring so far away ♪ 627 00:32:40,694 --> 00:32:42,996 (engine shuts off) 628 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:47,734 ♪ She can almost feel the southern wind blow ♪ 629 00:32:47,834 --> 00:32:49,869 (birds chirping) 630 00:32:49,936 --> 00:32:52,105 ♪ Almost touching her ♪ 631 00:32:52,205 --> 00:32:53,606 (Mom groans) 632 00:32:53,707 --> 00:32:55,775 ♪ Restless day... ♪ 633 00:32:58,445 --> 00:33:00,447 ♪ ♪ 634 00:33:05,952 --> 00:33:07,587 JR: Do you want some water? 635 00:33:08,655 --> 00:33:11,358 MOM: I want you to succeed. 636 00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,293 What if I can't? 637 00:33:16,196 --> 00:33:20,734 As God is my witness, 638 00:33:20,834 --> 00:33:26,439 you are going to Yale. 639 00:33:30,110 --> 00:33:32,780 It's gonna cost $11,000. 640 00:33:32,145 --> 00:33:34,800 Yeah? Who says? 641 00:33:34,147 --> 00:33:35,782 Grandpa. 642 00:33:35,882 --> 00:33:37,650 (Mom scoffs) 643 00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:42,288 You mind if your mama believes in you? 644 00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:45,959 No. 645 00:33:46,993 --> 00:33:48,995 CHARLIE: Something's wrong with my brain today. 646 00:33:49,620 --> 00:33:51,164 Wordy Gurdy has me stumped. 647 00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:53,166 What's Wordy Gurdy? 648 00:33:53,233 --> 00:33:54,667 It's a puzzle. 649 00:33:54,734 --> 00:33:57,904 They give you this half-assed clue, and the answers rhyme. 650 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,740 Like, uh... "Jane's vehicles" 651 00:34:01,174 --> 00:34:03,643 is, you know, "Fonda's Hondas." 652 00:34:03,743 --> 00:34:06,212 Life's hard enough without puzzles. 653 00:34:06,279 --> 00:34:08,581 Do puzzles, you don't get Alzheimer's. 654 00:34:08,648 --> 00:34:11,284 This one's bullshit. "Richard's ingredients"? 655 00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:13,586 Who's Richard? Nixon? 656 00:34:13,653 --> 00:34:15,689 JR: "Nixon's fixin's." 657 00:34:21,161 --> 00:34:23,863 -"Terrific Gary." -"Super Cooper." 658 00:34:23,963 --> 00:34:26,800 ("Dancing in the Moonlight" by King Harvest playing) 659 00:34:27,867 --> 00:34:30,437 Oh, that's it-- kid's earned his stripes. 660 00:34:30,537 --> 00:34:32,605 -This kid's a prodigy. -CHARLIE: Gonna have to cut cards 661 00:34:32,706 --> 00:34:34,741 to see who loses their spot in the bowling league. 662 00:34:34,841 --> 00:34:36,576 He's a prodigy, that kid. 663 00:34:36,676 --> 00:34:38,780 Where'd you learn that word? 664 00:34:38,144 --> 00:34:42,215 ♪ We get it almost every night ♪ 665 00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:45,352 ♪ And when that moon gets big and bright ♪ 666 00:34:45,452 --> 00:34:48,955 ♪ It's a supernatural delight ♪ 667 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:53,493 ♪ Everybody was dancing in the moonlight ♪ 668 00:34:59,299 --> 00:35:03,360 ♪ Everybody here is out of sight ♪ 669 00:35:03,103 --> 00:35:05,839 ♪ They don't bark and they don't bite ♪ 670 00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:10,243 ♪ They keep things loose, they keep things light ♪ 671 00:35:10,343 --> 00:35:13,146 ♪ Everybody was dancing in the moonlight... ♪ 672 00:35:13,246 --> 00:35:14,748 All right, one more. 673 00:35:14,814 --> 00:35:16,816 -Who else is coming? -Pat. 674 00:35:16,916 --> 00:35:18,852 -Who's he? -She. 675 00:35:18,952 --> 00:35:20,353 Your uncle's girlfriend. 676 00:35:20,453 --> 00:35:22,255 Ah, we all make mistakes. 677 00:35:22,322 --> 00:35:25,692 -WOMAN: Where do you think you're going? -It's ****ing Wednesday! 678 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,161 WOMAN: **** you! 679 00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:30,230 -*****. -CHARLIE: I see things are going well. 680 00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:32,966 ♪ It's a supernatural delight ♪ 681 00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:36,536 ♪ Everybody was dancing in the moonlight ♪ 682 00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,204 PAT: Hiya. 683 00:35:38,271 --> 00:35:40,373 ♪ Dancing in the moonlight ♪ 684 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,843 ♪ Everybody's feeling warm and bright... ♪ 685 00:35:43,910 --> 00:35:46,120 You must be young JR. 686 00:35:46,790 --> 00:35:48,148 What are you doing hanging out with these bums? 687 00:35:48,248 --> 00:35:50,750 I get to go bowling 'cause I did the Wordy Gurdy. 688 00:35:50,817 --> 00:35:53,253 Aw, you must be the apple of your mother's eye. 689 00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,188 I hope so, 'cause she's sad. 690 00:35:55,288 --> 00:35:57,657 Okay, that's enough. 691 00:35:57,757 --> 00:36:01,161 ♪ Everybody here is out of sight ♪ 692 00:36:01,261 --> 00:36:04,130 ♪ They don't bark and they don't bite ♪ 693 00:36:04,197 --> 00:36:08,368 ♪ They keep things loose, they keep things light ♪ 694 00:36:08,468 --> 00:36:11,604 ♪ Everybody was dancing in the... ♪ 695 00:36:11,705 --> 00:36:13,873 -(song stops) -(bowling pins crashing) 696 00:36:13,940 --> 00:36:16,760 ("Lonely Girl" by The Expressions playing) 697 00:36:16,176 --> 00:36:18,345 CHARLIE: I don't know, my feet are getting bigger, apparently. 698 00:36:18,411 --> 00:36:19,612 Size 12? 699 00:36:19,713 --> 00:36:22,716 Hey, Bobo, get me a size 13, will you? 700 00:36:23,950 --> 00:36:26,219 How's your mom doing with the cancer? 701 00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:31,257 You kidding me? 702 00:36:33,793 --> 00:36:35,862 A, it's in remission. 703 00:36:35,962 --> 00:36:38,331 Three, shut the **** up. 704 00:36:39,666 --> 00:36:42,135 I'm sorry. You don't have to be such a **** about it. 705 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:49,900 I got you, uh, something. 706 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:52,512 I was gonna hold on to it for a minute, but I'll give it to you now. 707 00:36:52,579 --> 00:36:54,614 Here you go. 708 00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,282 Turn it over. 709 00:36:57,384 --> 00:36:59,819 That's Tom Seaver's autograph right there. 710 00:36:59,919 --> 00:37:02,122 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm. 711 00:37:02,188 --> 00:37:05,191 Listen to me. Your mom is gonna be okay. 712 00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:06,626 You understand? 713 00:37:06,693 --> 00:37:08,428 I promise. 714 00:37:08,495 --> 00:37:11,398 You're not gonna see, uh, Pat again, all right? 715 00:37:11,498 --> 00:37:13,660 She wasn't that bad. 716 00:37:13,166 --> 00:37:15,635 Well, it's kind of a last straw kind of thing, you know? 717 00:37:15,702 --> 00:37:18,838 (sighs) Not exactly the first inkblot on her ledger. 718 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,876 You got to be able to do without people, and they got to know it. 719 00:37:22,942 --> 00:37:24,277 It's either all in or nothing. 720 00:37:25,745 --> 00:37:26,980 Know what I mean? 721 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,716 ("It's Your Thing" by The Isley Brothers playing) 722 00:37:29,783 --> 00:37:31,117 Go get a ball. 723 00:37:31,217 --> 00:37:32,986 ♪ It's your thing ♪ 724 00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:35,155 ♪ Do what you wanna do ♪ 725 00:37:37,190 --> 00:37:41,194 ♪ I can't tell you who to sock it to ♪ 726 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:43,296 ♪ It's your thing ♪ 727 00:37:43,363 --> 00:37:46,320 ♪ Do what you wanna do ♪ 728 00:37:47,233 --> 00:37:50,970 ♪ I can't tell you who to sock it to ♪ 729 00:37:51,370 --> 00:37:53,740 ♪ If you want me to love you ♪ 730 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,409 ♪ Maybe I will, ha ♪ 731 00:37:56,509 --> 00:37:58,178 ♪ Believe me, woman ♪ 732 00:37:58,244 --> 00:38:00,580 ♪ It ain't no big deal ♪ 733 00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:03,783 ♪ Ah, you need love now ♪ 734 00:38:03,883 --> 00:38:05,719 ♪ Just as bad as I do ♪ 735 00:38:05,785 --> 00:38:06,786 Five. 736 00:38:06,886 --> 00:38:09,456 ♪ Makes me no difference now ♪ 737 00:38:09,522 --> 00:38:11,491 ♪ Who you give your thing to ♪ 738 00:38:11,591 --> 00:38:14,194 -♪ Oh, it's your thing ♪ -♪ It's your thing ♪ 739 00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:15,428 ♪ Do what you wanna do ♪ 740 00:38:15,495 --> 00:38:17,330 -Oh! -Oh! 741 00:38:18,665 --> 00:38:21,901 ♪ I can't tell you who to sock it to ♪ 742 00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:24,170 -♪ It's your thing ♪ -♪ It's your thing ♪ 743 00:38:24,237 --> 00:38:25,905 (cheering) 744 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,241 ♪ Do what you wanna do ♪ 745 00:38:28,341 --> 00:38:31,444 ♪ I can't tell you who to sock it... ♪ 746 00:38:31,544 --> 00:38:33,213 (song stops) 747 00:38:33,279 --> 00:38:36,116 "Laconic. Edict. Admonish. 748 00:38:36,216 --> 00:38:39,152 Platitude. Duplicity. Sanctimonious." 749 00:38:39,252 --> 00:38:41,870 Provisional. Strident. 750 00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:43,523 Bucolic. Fulcrum. Inimical. 751 00:38:43,623 --> 00:38:45,291 Jesuitical. 752 00:38:45,358 --> 00:38:47,427 Minion. Eclectic. 753 00:38:51,965 --> 00:38:53,366 Geez, Mom. 754 00:38:53,466 --> 00:38:55,368 -What? It's okay. I don't have lipstick. -I mean... 755 00:38:58,171 --> 00:38:59,773 I won't get in. 756 00:39:00,874 --> 00:39:02,800 Yes, you will. 757 00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:04,611 Uncle Charlie says to go all in. 758 00:39:04,711 --> 00:39:06,913 Yeah, well, your uncle is talking about gambling, 759 00:39:06,980 --> 00:39:08,481 and that's why he lives at home. 760 00:39:08,581 --> 00:39:10,784 Yeah, but isn't this gambling? 761 00:39:12,452 --> 00:39:14,154 It's better than not gambling. 762 00:39:14,254 --> 00:39:16,189 I never gambled. That was my problem. 763 00:39:16,289 --> 00:39:18,291 What about Dad? 764 00:39:22,862 --> 00:39:24,964 (mailbox door opens, closes) 765 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,702 All right. 766 00:39:35,575 --> 00:39:37,100 (sighs) 767 00:39:38,780 --> 00:39:39,879 (takes deep breath) 768 00:39:39,946 --> 00:39:41,481 Oh, my God. 769 00:39:41,581 --> 00:39:43,216 Oh, God. 770 00:39:43,283 --> 00:39:45,510 (sighs): Oh, God. 771 00:39:47,530 --> 00:39:48,755 Oh, Jesus Christ. 772 00:39:48,822 --> 00:39:50,690 -Open it. -I want to open it alone. 773 00:39:50,790 --> 00:39:52,492 -Just open it. -Ma, you open it. 774 00:39:52,592 --> 00:39:53,827 -No. -CHARLIE: That's a call right there. 775 00:39:53,927 --> 00:39:55,695 She's the one with the most invested. 776 00:39:55,795 --> 00:39:57,300 I told her not a dime. 777 00:39:57,130 --> 00:39:58,565 You don't have a ****ing dime. 778 00:39:58,665 --> 00:40:00,166 Unfortunately, his mother doesn't have a nickel. 779 00:40:00,233 --> 00:40:01,301 JR, open it! 780 00:40:01,368 --> 00:40:03,403 -I can't open it. I can't open it. -CHARLIE: Just open it. 781 00:40:03,503 --> 00:40:04,971 It's not gonna ****ing kill anybody. 782 00:40:05,380 --> 00:40:06,539 I am. I am gonna die. 783 00:40:06,606 --> 00:40:08,241 Oh, for ****'s sake. Give it to me. 784 00:40:08,341 --> 00:40:09,676 No, let JR open it. 785 00:40:09,743 --> 00:40:10,777 Uncle Charlie's a gambler. 786 00:40:10,877 --> 00:40:12,612 -Just let him... -I paid the application fee. 787 00:40:21,254 --> 00:40:23,156 CHARLIE: "Dear Mr. Maguire..." 788 00:40:23,256 --> 00:40:24,824 Uh... 789 00:40:24,924 --> 00:40:26,860 "It is a great pleasure to inform you 790 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,363 "that the Admissions Committee has voted to offer you a place 791 00:40:30,463 --> 00:40:33,500 in the Yale class of 1986." 792 00:40:33,566 --> 00:40:35,168 What? 793 00:40:35,235 --> 00:40:37,237 (stifled sobs) 794 00:40:39,506 --> 00:40:43,276 "I'm also pleased to notify you that your financial need has been met." 795 00:40:43,376 --> 00:40:45,712 -If you're tricking me, I'll kill you. -Read it. 796 00:40:47,881 --> 00:40:49,449 (chuckles) 797 00:40:49,549 --> 00:40:51,751 (takes deep breath) 798 00:41:02,696 --> 00:41:05,165 (chuckles) 799 00:41:05,231 --> 00:41:08,234 -What about Human Learning and Memory? -(mutters) 800 00:41:08,334 --> 00:41:11,400 Always take philosophy, okay? 801 00:41:11,710 --> 00:41:14,174 You always do well in that class, 'cause there's no right answer. 802 00:41:15,942 --> 00:41:19,112 Your mother's gonna come to you and try to give you money. 803 00:41:19,212 --> 00:41:20,480 Don't accept it. 804 00:41:20,580 --> 00:41:22,749 I'll take care of you. 805 00:41:22,816 --> 00:41:24,150 Once. 806 00:41:25,885 --> 00:41:27,954 Talk to your father? 807 00:41:29,823 --> 00:41:31,257 No. 808 00:41:32,859 --> 00:41:34,294 Okay. 809 00:41:41,968 --> 00:41:43,570 JR: I'll come home a lot. 810 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,707 Yeah, this isn't home. 811 00:41:47,774 --> 00:41:49,409 (chuckles) 812 00:41:49,509 --> 00:41:51,111 -Yeah, it is. -No. 813 00:41:52,345 --> 00:41:54,214 -No, it's not. -(door opens) 814 00:41:57,417 --> 00:41:59,850 -Okay, go. -(door closes) 815 00:41:59,152 --> 00:42:01,755 -Go. Go, go, go, go. -(engine starts) 816 00:42:01,821 --> 00:42:03,256 Go. 817 00:42:12,365 --> 00:42:15,235 ("Modern Life" by Devo playing) 818 00:42:15,335 --> 00:42:18,238 ♪ You hunt a bargain just to save a buck ♪ 819 00:42:18,338 --> 00:42:21,441 ♪ Now you're still on the job and it looks like you're stuck ♪ 820 00:42:22,876 --> 00:42:24,577 -How's it going? -Hey. 821 00:42:24,678 --> 00:42:26,646 (indistinct chatter) 822 00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:36,856 ♪ It's a modern life, but it's not what you're looking for ♪ 823 00:42:36,956 --> 00:42:38,958 ♪ Whoa, it's a modern life ♪ 824 00:42:39,250 --> 00:42:42,495 ♪ It's a modern life, but it's not what you're looking for ♪ 825 00:42:42,595 --> 00:42:45,365 (fading): ♪ Whoa, it's a modern life... ♪ 826 00:42:51,705 --> 00:42:53,340 -Hi. -Hey. 827 00:42:53,406 --> 00:42:55,750 -Hey, I'm Jimmy. -JR. 828 00:42:55,175 --> 00:42:56,609 Oh. Well, what does JR stand for? 829 00:42:56,710 --> 00:42:58,278 -Jackie Robinson. -Really? 830 00:42:58,378 --> 00:42:59,979 Nah, it's "Junior." 831 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,148 I was expecting a kind of Brideshead Revisited thing. 832 00:43:02,248 --> 00:43:03,717 This is bullshit. 833 00:43:03,783 --> 00:43:05,585 -This taken? -JR and JIMMY: No. 834 00:43:05,652 --> 00:43:07,620 -I'm Wesley. -I'm Jimmy. 835 00:43:07,721 --> 00:43:08,955 Jimmy? Jim's good. 836 00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:11,324 -JR. -JR. What does that stand for? 837 00:43:11,424 --> 00:43:14,260 -Jackie Robinson. -No shit. 838 00:43:14,327 --> 00:43:15,995 No, it's "Junior." 839 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:17,130 All right. 840 00:43:17,197 --> 00:43:18,631 Junior, JR. 841 00:43:18,698 --> 00:43:20,567 Jimmy, Jim. 842 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,369 It's our first night at Yale. 843 00:43:22,469 --> 00:43:24,604 -Yeah. -Yeah. 844 00:43:24,704 --> 00:43:27,107 Let's get ****ed-up. 845 00:43:27,207 --> 00:43:29,209 (Jimmy chuckles) 846 00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:31,378 PROFESSOR VAN DYKE: You will be making the acquaintance 847 00:43:31,444 --> 00:43:33,480 of Satan. 848 00:43:33,580 --> 00:43:35,715 Not in your own worst impulses 849 00:43:35,782 --> 00:43:38,840 or among your friends-- 850 00:43:38,151 --> 00:43:41,488 though you will, in each case-- 851 00:43:41,588 --> 00:43:43,823 but in Paradise Lost. 852 00:43:45,625 --> 00:43:49,963 For the time being, in this class, though I beat against barbarous current, 853 00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,399 I still teach Western literature, 854 00:43:52,499 --> 00:43:57,737 in which everything derives from two epic poems, 855 00:43:57,837 --> 00:44:00,740 the Iliad and the Odyssey, 856 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:04,277 handily contained for you in one book, 857 00:44:04,377 --> 00:44:07,213 edited and translated by me. 858 00:44:08,748 --> 00:44:12,485 The Iliad and the Odyssey are the two seedlings, 859 00:44:12,585 --> 00:44:15,855 the "poyims" 3,000 years old... 860 00:44:15,955 --> 00:44:17,424 What's a "poyim"? 861 00:44:17,490 --> 00:44:19,492 Somebody who's not Jewish. 862 00:44:19,592 --> 00:44:21,661 VAN DYKE: The Iliad and the Odyssey are universal. 863 00:44:21,761 --> 00:44:24,397 They are stories about going home. 864 00:44:25,732 --> 00:44:29,200 You will start by reading half the Iliad 865 00:44:29,690 --> 00:44:31,371 and write me a ten-page paper. 866 00:44:31,471 --> 00:44:33,840 Any questions? Yes. 867 00:44:33,907 --> 00:44:36,900 Uh, a paper on what? 868 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:37,777 The first half of the Iliad. 869 00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:40,480 No, right, but on what subject? 870 00:44:40,580 --> 00:44:43,817 The first half of the Iliad. 871 00:44:45,151 --> 00:44:47,253 He's throwing down. 872 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:51,240 VAN DYKE: Now, as some of you hopefully may know, 873 00:44:51,124 --> 00:44:55,261 the Iliad is an ancient Greek epic poem in dactylic hexameter... 874 00:44:55,328 --> 00:44:56,463 -Hey. -Hmm? 875 00:44:56,529 --> 00:44:57,831 -Who is that? -Who? 876 00:44:57,897 --> 00:44:59,232 In the purple. 877 00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:02,469 -WESLEY: Ah. She goes out with Stinky. -JR: Stinky? 878 00:45:02,535 --> 00:45:03,870 Yeah, he's wealthy. 879 00:45:03,970 --> 00:45:06,406 VAN DYKE: ...grand style of Western classical poetry. 880 00:45:06,506 --> 00:45:09,843 So take note of these and other examples of its use 881 00:45:09,909 --> 00:45:12,412 as you make your way through the text. 882 00:45:12,512 --> 00:45:13,913 Ovid's Metamorphos... 883 00:45:13,980 --> 00:45:15,982 (crickets chirping) 884 00:45:17,500 --> 00:45:19,419 Because everything I see is unattainable. 885 00:45:19,486 --> 00:45:21,454 That's because you're probably being a *****. 886 00:45:21,521 --> 00:45:23,156 Well, if you're made to read the greatest things ever written, 887 00:45:23,256 --> 00:45:24,758 that you couldn't do, and make you feel like shit, 888 00:45:24,824 --> 00:45:26,359 then how are you supposed to become a writer? 889 00:45:26,459 --> 00:45:28,762 Socrates says you learn more from a bad book than a good one. 890 00:45:28,828 --> 00:45:31,398 Aristotle. I think. 891 00:45:31,498 --> 00:45:33,867 If you go to Yale but you don't have any balls, 892 00:45:33,967 --> 00:45:35,802 how are you supposed to be a student at Yale? 893 00:45:35,869 --> 00:45:38,505 I'm just here on a lucky break. It's just a lucky break. 894 00:45:38,571 --> 00:45:41,207 I mean, I can do Wordy Gurdy all day long, 895 00:45:41,274 --> 00:45:44,577 but I cannot figure out what the **** they are saying in Henry V. 896 00:45:44,678 --> 00:45:47,414 We're all here on a lucky break, douchebag. 897 00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,250 I'm Lucky Sperm Club, and no one's ever noticed that I'm an idiot. 898 00:45:50,316 --> 00:45:51,951 It's also luck. Everybody's lucky. 899 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,721 Everybody alive is lucky 900 00:45:54,788 --> 00:45:56,489 and were descended from the lucky. 901 00:45:56,589 --> 00:45:59,292 Our ancestors were all either fast, smart 902 00:45:59,359 --> 00:46:01,795 or had really ****ing good immune systems. 903 00:46:01,861 --> 00:46:05,198 Luck, ******-- it's why we're all here. 904 00:46:06,199 --> 00:46:08,668 Hmm. I never thought about it like that. 905 00:46:08,735 --> 00:46:11,538 You see, you're believing in society's bullshit interpretation 906 00:46:11,604 --> 00:46:14,874 of you and everything else, and that is why you can't write. 907 00:46:14,941 --> 00:46:17,430 Not because Homer makes you think you suck. 908 00:46:17,110 --> 00:46:18,945 (chuckles softly) 909 00:46:19,450 --> 00:46:21,810 I'd really like for you to meet my Uncle Charlie. 910 00:46:21,147 --> 00:46:23,450 What's he do? 911 00:46:23,550 --> 00:46:25,785 He runs a bar. 912 00:46:25,885 --> 00:46:27,854 I would really like to meet your Uncle Charlie. 913 00:46:27,954 --> 00:46:29,956 ("Dynaflow" by Parish Hall playing) 914 00:46:30,230 --> 00:46:32,250 (indistinct chatter) 915 00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:37,731 -(door opens) -JR: You got your I.D.'s, right? 916 00:46:37,831 --> 00:46:41,340 Hey! The **** are you guys doing here? 917 00:46:43,303 --> 00:46:46,206 Jesus Christ. 918 00:46:48,410 --> 00:46:50,430 What about these rejects? 919 00:46:51,277 --> 00:46:53,780 Hmm. Okay. 920 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,116 Well, welcome to our shores, Jim. 921 00:46:56,216 --> 00:46:58,118 Hey, I got an announcement. 922 00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,886 -(bell jingling) -Everybody, 923 00:46:59,953 --> 00:47:02,989 according to the laws of the sovereign state of New York, 924 00:47:03,890 --> 00:47:05,158 today, my nephew is officially a man. 925 00:47:05,258 --> 00:47:07,193 And so are his friends legally men. 926 00:47:07,293 --> 00:47:09,696 -The law is ****ed! -Get these ****** a drink on me. 927 00:47:09,796 --> 00:47:11,965 **** you. First one is mine. 928 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,533 Mine. 929 00:47:13,633 --> 00:47:15,301 Then you guys are backed up on Joey D. 930 00:47:15,368 --> 00:47:17,671 -What do you want? -Wow. Uh... 931 00:47:17,737 --> 00:47:20,206 Well, I don't even know what to have. 932 00:47:20,273 --> 00:47:22,609 I think a Yale man should drink gin myself, 933 00:47:22,709 --> 00:47:24,744 but... big decision, Chief. 934 00:47:24,844 --> 00:47:27,470 Whatever you ****** choose now is what I'm gonna pour 935 00:47:27,113 --> 00:47:29,449 every time you walk in the door-- forever. 936 00:47:30,550 --> 00:47:32,585 But you got to have a drink-- your drink. 937 00:47:32,652 --> 00:47:34,287 (sighs) Gin makes me crazy. 938 00:47:34,387 --> 00:47:35,989 We can handle that. We can handle anything. 939 00:47:36,890 --> 00:47:37,757 I make an excellent gin martini. 940 00:47:37,824 --> 00:47:39,526 The secret is a few drops of Scotch. 941 00:47:39,626 --> 00:47:41,327 Come on, Chaz, back 'em up on me. 942 00:47:41,428 --> 00:47:43,196 CHIEF: Back 'em up on me, too, Charlie. 943 00:47:43,296 --> 00:47:47,467 Goodness. Evidently, tonight, you guys are backed up on Chief and Joey D. 944 00:47:47,534 --> 00:47:49,402 Fasten your ****ing seat belt. 945 00:47:51,504 --> 00:47:53,740 (horns honking) 946 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,410 So you went to war? 947 00:47:55,108 --> 00:47:56,443 'Nam, Second Division. 948 00:47:56,543 --> 00:47:58,845 Quang Tri, '67 to '69. 949 00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:01,481 You little ****ers will never know such things. 950 00:48:01,581 --> 00:48:06,860 All props to the 82nd, but your little ****ing airdrop on Grenada is not a war. 951 00:48:06,152 --> 00:48:08,955 -We didn't airdrop on Grenada. -WESLEY: How long were you in the Army? 952 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:11,157 One year, seven months, five days. 953 00:48:11,257 --> 00:48:12,459 How long were you in Vietnam? 954 00:48:12,525 --> 00:48:13,660 11 months, 12 days. 955 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,363 Chaz says you're insecure at Yale. 956 00:48:16,463 --> 00:48:18,164 Nah. No. 957 00:48:18,231 --> 00:48:20,834 Well, hey, it's the same as prison. 958 00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:22,635 Anywhere is the same as prison. 959 00:48:22,702 --> 00:48:25,271 You need to find the main guy, who's a problem, 960 00:48:25,372 --> 00:48:26,840 and you rip his ****ing lungs out. 961 00:48:26,906 --> 00:48:28,842 CHIEF: The **** you telling the kid that for? 962 00:48:28,908 --> 00:48:31,344 -That's it. -He's going to Yale, not Rahway. 963 00:48:32,545 --> 00:48:36,483 You know, Uncle Charlie is, like, your old man, basically. 964 00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:38,785 No, he's my Uncle Charlie. 965 00:48:38,885 --> 00:48:40,920 My old man's in a radio. 966 00:48:40,987 --> 00:48:42,822 CHIEF: Your old man's in a radio? 967 00:48:48,528 --> 00:48:50,730 What are you reading this weekend? 968 00:48:50,830 --> 00:48:52,365 Aquinas. 969 00:48:52,465 --> 00:48:55,168 Oh, Jesus Christ. 970 00:48:55,235 --> 00:48:57,370 What? Thomas Aquinas. 971 00:48:57,470 --> 00:49:01,708 Needed to believe there was a God, so he offered the world concrete proof. 972 00:49:01,775 --> 00:49:05,712 If you didn't believe his concrete proof, the Church would cut your nuts off. 973 00:49:05,779 --> 00:49:07,414 -What are you worried about? -I don't wanna. 974 00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:08,982 You don't wanna. 975 00:49:09,820 --> 00:49:10,817 This is when you push. 976 00:49:10,917 --> 00:49:12,285 Right now. 977 00:49:12,385 --> 00:49:13,953 This is when you bet it all. 978 00:49:14,540 --> 00:49:15,588 When you got nothing. 979 00:49:17,424 --> 00:49:19,626 All right, **** this. 980 00:49:20,694 --> 00:49:23,496 Read Orwell on the lower-upper-middle classes. 981 00:49:23,563 --> 00:49:25,999 They're the ones who really suck. 982 00:49:26,660 --> 00:49:29,703 Once you understand that, you can operate in America. 983 00:49:29,803 --> 00:49:31,838 If you also have a car. 984 00:49:33,406 --> 00:49:35,508 ("Good Times" by Chic playing) 985 00:49:35,575 --> 00:49:37,410 WESLEY: Spent all of last summer in Europe. 986 00:49:37,510 --> 00:49:40,800 Italy. Jesus, Venice. You ever been to Venice? 987 00:49:40,146 --> 00:49:41,481 No. 988 00:49:41,581 --> 00:49:45,385 Most illogical city I have ever seen in my life. 989 00:49:45,452 --> 00:49:48,321 The cab is a boat. The garbage truck is a boat. 990 00:49:48,421 --> 00:49:50,156 Not one bit of it makes any sense. 991 00:49:50,256 --> 00:49:51,758 So how'd you end up in Venice? 992 00:49:51,825 --> 00:49:53,493 Studied hard. I got good grades. 993 00:49:53,593 --> 00:49:55,362 My old man said, "Pick a city." 994 00:49:55,462 --> 00:49:57,197 So, my brother used to make me go with him 995 00:49:57,297 --> 00:49:58,798 and watch Don't Look Now with Donald Sutherland. 996 00:49:58,865 --> 00:50:00,400 Jesus. How old were you? 997 00:50:00,500 --> 00:50:02,350 That movie made a man out of me. 998 00:50:02,135 --> 00:50:03,503 But it took place in Venice. 999 00:50:03,570 --> 00:50:04,838 First movie was The Exorcist. 1000 00:50:04,904 --> 00:50:06,773 My brother had a hard-on for Julie Christie. 1001 00:50:06,873 --> 00:50:08,942 Anyway, long story short, I picked Venice. 1002 00:50:09,420 --> 00:50:10,610 Three weeks turns into three months. 1003 00:50:10,710 --> 00:50:12,979 And The Exorcist scared the **** out of me, by the way. 1004 00:50:13,790 --> 00:50:15,715 -The moral of the story is... -Right, right. The moral of the story is 1005 00:50:15,782 --> 00:50:18,151 do well in school, and you get to see Italy. 1006 00:50:18,251 --> 00:50:20,320 Sidney. 1007 00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:21,855 Hi. 1008 00:50:21,955 --> 00:50:25,125 -Hi. -How are you? Uh, is Stinky in there? 1009 00:50:25,191 --> 00:50:27,160 I don't know where Alex is. 1010 00:50:27,260 --> 00:50:28,928 I don't see much of him. 1011 00:50:28,995 --> 00:50:30,300 Hey. JR. 1012 00:50:30,130 --> 00:50:32,232 -Sidney. -Hey. 1013 00:50:32,332 --> 00:50:33,867 You're in my class. 1014 00:50:33,967 --> 00:50:35,568 I doubt it. 1015 00:50:35,668 --> 00:50:36,903 (both laughing) 1016 00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:39,873 So, uh, how's your Iliad? 1017 00:50:39,939 --> 00:50:42,709 -Oh. (laughs) -(JR chuckles) 1018 00:50:42,776 --> 00:50:44,577 -My Iliad's fine. -Yeah? 1019 00:50:44,678 --> 00:50:46,246 Yeah. How's yours? 1020 00:50:46,346 --> 00:50:49,282 My Iliad is just getting better and better as the evening progresses. 1021 00:50:49,382 --> 00:50:50,583 -Is that so? -Yeah. 1022 00:50:50,650 --> 00:50:51,785 (laughs) 1023 00:50:55,255 --> 00:50:56,656 How-how was the party? 1024 00:50:56,756 --> 00:50:58,458 Um, not great. 1025 00:50:58,525 --> 00:50:59,659 -No? -No. 1026 00:50:59,759 --> 00:51:00,827 Where you headed? 1027 00:51:01,928 --> 00:51:03,563 Walking home. 1028 00:51:03,663 --> 00:51:05,665 I'll walk you. 1029 00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:09,200 Okay. 1030 00:51:09,690 --> 00:51:10,737 ♪ You silly fool ♪ 1031 00:51:10,837 --> 00:51:13,406 ♪ You can't change your fate ♪ 1032 00:51:13,506 --> 00:51:17,877 ♪ Let's cut a rug, a little jive and jitterbug ♪ 1033 00:51:17,944 --> 00:51:22,148 ♪ We want the best, we won't settle for less ♪ 1034 00:51:22,248 --> 00:51:24,984 ♪ Don't be a drag, participate... ♪ 1035 00:51:26,786 --> 00:51:28,755 SIDNEY: So, what does JR stand for? 1036 00:51:29,923 --> 00:51:31,825 It's a complicated thing. 1037 00:51:31,925 --> 00:51:34,494 I'll tell you when I know you better. 1038 00:51:34,594 --> 00:51:36,196 Is there trauma? 1039 00:51:37,697 --> 00:51:39,165 Yes. 1040 00:51:40,633 --> 00:51:42,335 Father-based? 1041 00:51:44,471 --> 00:51:46,740 I'm named after my father. 1042 00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,420 But I've only seen him a couple of times. 1043 00:51:49,109 --> 00:51:52,412 He was always on the radio, in New York. 1044 00:51:52,512 --> 00:51:57,817 He was Johnny Ace or Johnny Michaels on the radio. 1045 00:52:00,860 --> 00:52:01,988 Are you in search for your father? 1046 00:52:03,923 --> 00:52:06,593 (chuckling): No, I'm not. 1047 00:52:06,659 --> 00:52:09,362 If you have a father complex, it's kind of a red flag. 1048 00:52:10,897 --> 00:52:13,967 Women with father complexes tend to eat a lot, 1049 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:17,971 but men get really ****ed-up. 1050 00:52:18,380 --> 00:52:19,873 I don't have a father complex. 1051 00:52:19,939 --> 00:52:21,574 He's just a guy on the radio. 1052 00:52:21,675 --> 00:52:23,276 That's a relief. 1053 00:52:23,376 --> 00:52:24,778 (Sidney laughing) 1054 00:52:27,113 --> 00:52:29,490 So, what do you want to be, JR? 1055 00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:32,385 Other than an emotional mess. 1056 00:52:32,452 --> 00:52:34,621 -Oh. Other than that? -Mm-hmm. 1057 00:52:36,890 --> 00:52:38,525 I want to be a writer. 1058 00:52:38,625 --> 00:52:40,293 I'm going to be a writer. 1059 00:52:41,494 --> 00:52:43,496 Why a writer? 1060 00:52:43,563 --> 00:52:45,532 Ever since I was a kid, I've just... 1061 00:52:45,632 --> 00:52:47,834 I love to read everything I could get my hands on. 1062 00:52:47,901 --> 00:52:50,300 Every great writer, every great book. 1063 00:52:50,700 --> 00:52:51,871 I got into Yale to be a lawyer. 1064 00:52:54,107 --> 00:52:56,109 You don't look like a lawyer. 1065 00:52:56,209 --> 00:52:57,777 (JR chuckles) 1066 00:52:57,877 --> 00:52:59,479 I'll take that as a compliment. 1067 00:52:59,579 --> 00:53:01,648 You do that. 1068 00:53:01,748 --> 00:53:03,550 (both chuckle) 1069 00:53:06,753 --> 00:53:08,455 This is me. 1070 00:53:12,759 --> 00:53:15,462 You want to study together tomorrow? 1071 00:53:16,696 --> 00:53:18,331 Okay. 1072 00:53:19,399 --> 00:53:20,834 Okay. 1073 00:53:23,370 --> 00:53:25,372 Good night, JR. 1074 00:53:25,438 --> 00:53:27,400 Good night. 1075 00:53:27,107 --> 00:53:29,109 ♪ ♪ 1076 00:53:30,777 --> 00:53:32,545 (footsteps ascending stairs) 1077 00:53:32,612 --> 00:53:34,280 (keys jingle, lock clicks) 1078 00:53:45,125 --> 00:53:47,327 ♪ ♪ 1079 00:53:57,303 --> 00:53:59,272 MOM: So you think you're in love? 1080 00:54:00,907 --> 00:54:03,610 Yeah. I think I'm in love. 1081 00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:05,245 She's a lucky girl. 1082 00:54:05,345 --> 00:54:07,147 (scoffs) I don't know about that. 1083 00:54:08,548 --> 00:54:11,751 -You being careful? -Jesus, Mom. ****. 1084 00:54:11,818 --> 00:54:13,953 She's clever. She's perceptive. 1085 00:54:14,540 --> 00:54:15,622 Perceptive about what? 1086 00:54:15,689 --> 00:54:17,123 Never mind. 1087 00:54:17,190 --> 00:54:18,658 What, she's rich? 1088 00:54:18,758 --> 00:54:21,428 Probably lower-upper-middle class. 1089 00:54:21,494 --> 00:54:23,463 -That's my boy. -MOM: I don't know what that means. 1090 00:54:23,530 --> 00:54:25,331 "Lower-middle-upper." 1091 00:54:25,398 --> 00:54:27,467 It means the people who think they're rich. 1092 00:54:27,534 --> 00:54:28,968 The actual rich, you never see. 1093 00:54:29,350 --> 00:54:30,904 They hide so people won't kill them. 1094 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:33,673 I mean, I just feel like Sidney's so up here 1095 00:54:33,740 --> 00:54:35,542 and I'm so down here. 1096 00:54:35,608 --> 00:54:37,377 No, you have so much to offer her. 1097 00:54:37,444 --> 00:54:40,460 No money, no idea what it is I want to do. 1098 00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:42,215 Besides being a lawyer and suing my father. 1099 00:54:42,282 --> 00:54:44,784 What? That's not why I want you to be a lawyer. 1100 00:54:44,884 --> 00:54:47,253 That would be pathological, JR. 1101 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,824 It's not the worst thing if the man puts the woman on a slight pedestal. 1102 00:54:50,924 --> 00:54:52,920 Very slight. 1103 00:54:52,158 --> 00:54:54,327 MOM: Falling in love is a blessing. Try to enjoy it. 1104 00:54:54,427 --> 00:54:57,330 If you get your heart broken, you'll live. 1105 00:54:59,499 --> 00:55:01,201 Ma, I have to ask you something. 1106 00:55:01,301 --> 00:55:02,836 What? 1107 00:55:07,700 --> 00:55:09,743 I need to go to Sidney's for Christmas. 1108 00:55:12,879 --> 00:55:14,881 ♪ ♪ 1109 00:55:29,696 --> 00:55:31,698 ♪ ♪ 1110 00:55:35,301 --> 00:55:37,303 (vehicle approaching) 1111 00:55:52,552 --> 00:55:54,554 ♪ ♪ 1112 00:56:02,996 --> 00:56:04,998 (music playing faintly over radio) 1113 00:56:12,105 --> 00:56:15,241 -What? -What? 1114 00:56:15,342 --> 00:56:18,912 It's Christmas in Connecticut, with a Volvo. 1115 00:56:21,810 --> 00:56:23,116 I'm never gonna train you out of it, am I? 1116 00:56:23,216 --> 00:56:25,385 Train me out of what? 1117 00:56:25,452 --> 00:56:28,321 Thinking things are more than what they are. 1118 00:56:31,358 --> 00:56:34,127 -You ever been to Westport? -No. 1119 00:56:37,630 --> 00:56:38,898 You ever ****ed in a Volvo? 1120 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,539 FUTURE JR: There wasn't a thing Sidney wouldn't do or try. 1121 00:56:47,841 --> 00:56:50,430 She taught me about love, 1122 00:56:50,110 --> 00:56:53,279 and that semester just flew by for both of us. 1123 00:56:53,380 --> 00:56:54,881 I wasn't naive. 1124 00:56:54,948 --> 00:56:58,818 I knew that my first great love probably wouldn't be my last. 1125 00:56:58,918 --> 00:57:02,522 But there was something about her, something different, 1126 00:57:02,622 --> 00:57:04,758 something that gave me hope. 1127 00:57:04,824 --> 00:57:07,260 ("Rock Your Baby" by George McCrae playing) 1128 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,568 (sighs) 1129 00:57:18,138 --> 00:57:19,539 Morning, sport. 1130 00:57:19,639 --> 00:57:21,441 (JR sighs) Morning. 1131 00:57:23,109 --> 00:57:25,450 So, my parents... 1132 00:57:26,179 --> 00:57:27,580 They already heard you. 1133 00:57:27,681 --> 00:57:29,883 -Uh-oh. -(laughs) 1134 00:57:29,983 --> 00:57:31,518 They want to meet you. 1135 00:57:41,610 --> 00:57:43,630 I think I should take you to the train. 1136 00:57:44,130 --> 00:57:45,432 Why? 1137 00:57:45,498 --> 00:57:48,401 It's very complicated. 1138 00:57:48,468 --> 00:57:50,403 I'm feeling weird. 1139 00:57:51,471 --> 00:57:53,673 I'm sorry I brought you for Christmas. 1140 00:57:58,978 --> 00:58:00,880 I think I'm seeing someone else. 1141 00:58:09,122 --> 00:58:10,757 I'll see you downstairs. 1142 00:58:32,312 --> 00:58:34,547 SIDNEY'S DAD: Do you like scones, JR? 1143 00:58:34,647 --> 00:58:36,516 JR: Oh, I love scones, sir. 1144 00:58:36,583 --> 00:58:39,252 -Call me Phil. -Thanks, Phil. 1145 00:58:39,352 --> 00:58:43,256 Since you can call him Phil, I suppose you can call me Mrs. Lawson. 1146 00:58:44,257 --> 00:58:45,892 (laughs) 1147 00:58:56,603 --> 00:58:57,671 Mmm. 1148 00:59:04,611 --> 00:59:07,814 (mouth full): Well, Sidney tells me... Excuse me. 1149 00:59:07,881 --> 00:59:09,883 (chuckles) So, Sidney... 1150 00:59:09,983 --> 00:59:13,530 Sidney tells me you're both architects. 1151 00:59:13,153 --> 00:59:15,955 Some people build houses. We build dwellings. 1152 00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,758 What's the difference except the word? 1153 00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:22,128 I mean, I just failed an English exam, but a house is a dwelling 1154 00:59:22,228 --> 00:59:24,764 unless it's a cave, and a dwelling is a house... 1155 00:59:24,831 --> 00:59:27,467 They also run the magazine Dwellings. 1156 00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:29,269 JR: What? 1157 00:59:29,335 --> 00:59:31,104 The magazine called Dwellings. 1158 00:59:35,308 --> 00:59:36,643 Oh. 1159 00:59:36,710 --> 00:59:38,611 I don't think you should dwell on it. 1160 00:59:38,678 --> 00:59:40,880 -(light laughter) -JR: No. 1161 00:59:42,349 --> 00:59:44,484 MRS. LAWSON: I understand you have an absconded father 1162 00:59:44,551 --> 00:59:47,754 who's nothing more to you than a voice on the radio. 1163 00:59:50,123 --> 00:59:52,125 Yeah, pretty much. (chuckles softly) 1164 00:59:52,225 --> 00:59:54,861 Are you in psychotherapy? I should think you would be. 1165 00:59:54,928 --> 00:59:56,763 No psychotherapy, no. 1166 00:59:56,830 --> 00:59:58,465 Surprisingly. (chuckles) 1167 01:00:03,169 --> 01:00:04,938 What does your mother do, JR? 1168 01:00:11,444 --> 01:00:14,814 She dwells in Manhasset, 1169 01:00:14,881 --> 01:00:18,510 in a house with her parents, who are both kind of nuts. 1170 01:00:18,151 --> 01:00:20,860 And she's a secretary. 1171 01:00:21,187 --> 01:00:25,959 And one of the things she always loved to do was ride around 1172 01:00:26,590 --> 01:00:28,940 looking at houses like this one 1173 01:00:28,194 --> 01:00:31,398 and wonder what life must be like in them. 1174 01:00:31,464 --> 01:00:33,466 Now I can tell her. 1175 01:00:33,566 --> 01:00:35,635 Please do. 1176 01:00:36,770 --> 01:00:38,772 I will. 1177 01:00:39,839 --> 01:00:41,174 PHIL: What do you study? 1178 01:00:44,477 --> 01:00:47,213 You know, Phil, I study people. 1179 01:00:47,313 --> 01:00:49,482 I think I've always studied people. 1180 01:00:49,549 --> 01:00:52,520 And this is great. 1181 01:00:52,152 --> 01:00:53,953 JR is a writer. 1182 01:00:54,540 --> 01:00:56,220 I mean, what do you study at Yale? 1183 01:00:57,900 --> 01:00:59,526 Usual ****ing bullshit. My mother wants me to be a lawyer. 1184 01:00:59,592 --> 01:01:03,296 She sounds like a very intelligent woman, if a trifle optimistic. 1185 01:01:03,396 --> 01:01:05,980 (JR chuckles) 1186 01:01:13,206 --> 01:01:15,141 Phil, you ever ****ed in a Volvo? 1187 01:01:16,376 --> 01:01:19,379 ("50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon playing) 1188 01:01:20,413 --> 01:01:23,183 FUTURE JR: And that was it-- dumped in Connecticut. 1189 01:01:25,418 --> 01:01:30,290 I'd spend the next two years just focusing on making something of myself. 1190 01:01:30,390 --> 01:01:32,592 Being somebody. 1191 01:01:32,692 --> 01:01:34,961 Somebody Sidney would want back. 1192 01:01:35,610 --> 01:01:38,131 ♪ "The problem is all inside your head," she said to me ♪ 1193 01:01:38,231 --> 01:01:39,299 -Hey. -Hi. 1194 01:01:39,399 --> 01:01:40,567 Charlie! 1195 01:01:40,633 --> 01:01:44,700 ♪ "The answer is easy if you take it logically ♪ 1196 01:01:45,205 --> 01:01:48,508 ♪ "I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free ♪ 1197 01:01:48,608 --> 01:01:52,645 ♪ There must be 50 ways to leave your lover" ♪ 1198 01:01:54,214 --> 01:01:58,351 ♪ She said, "It's really not my habit to intrude ♪ 1199 01:01:58,418 --> 01:02:02,789 ♪ "Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued ♪ 1200 01:02:02,889 --> 01:02:07,794 ♪ "But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude ♪ 1201 01:02:07,894 --> 01:02:11,731 ♪ "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover ♪ 1202 01:02:13,299 --> 01:02:16,469 ♪ 50 ways to leave your lover" ♪ 1203 01:02:16,569 --> 01:02:19,272 ♪ You just slip out the back, Jack ♪ 1204 01:02:19,339 --> 01:02:21,307 ♪ Make a new plan, Stan ♪ 1205 01:02:21,374 --> 01:02:23,677 ♪ You don't need to be coy, Roy ♪ 1206 01:02:23,777 --> 01:02:26,346 ♪ Just get yourself free ♪ 1207 01:02:26,413 --> 01:02:28,314 ♪ Hop on the bus, Gus ♪ 1208 01:02:28,381 --> 01:02:30,684 ♪ You don't need to discuss much ♪ 1209 01:02:30,750 --> 01:02:33,530 ♪ Just drop off the key, Lee ♪ 1210 01:02:33,153 --> 01:02:35,355 ♪ And get yourself free ♪ 1211 01:02:35,422 --> 01:02:37,957 ♪ Ooh, slip out the back, Jack ♪ 1212 01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:39,959 ♪ Make a new plan, Stan ♪ 1213 01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,128 ♪ You don't need to be coy, Roy ♪ 1214 01:02:42,228 --> 01:02:44,898 ♪ Just listen to me ♪ 1215 01:02:44,964 --> 01:02:46,933 ♪ Hop on the bus, Gus ♪ 1216 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,402 ♪ You don't need to discuss much ♪ 1217 01:02:49,469 --> 01:02:51,838 ♪ Just drop off the key, Lee ♪ 1218 01:02:51,938 --> 01:02:53,973 ♪ And get yourself free. ♪ 1219 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:55,942 JR: This seat taken? 1220 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:57,877 Look who it is. Sit down there. 1221 01:02:58,978 --> 01:03:01,140 FUTURE JR: My senior year was gonna be epic. 1222 01:03:01,810 --> 01:03:04,217 Writing for the paper, working at the bar. 1223 01:03:04,317 --> 01:03:06,520 This was gonna be my year. 1224 01:03:06,152 --> 01:03:07,954 I didn't need Sidney. 1225 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:09,889 In fact, **** Sidney. 1226 01:03:10,924 --> 01:03:12,692 PRIEST: Are you any good at writing? 1227 01:03:12,759 --> 01:03:16,960 I fear that sometimes the question is too little asked. 1228 01:03:17,163 --> 01:03:18,798 I don't know. 1229 01:03:18,898 --> 01:03:20,500 I have stuff in the Yale paper. 1230 01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:22,302 A lot of people don't. 1231 01:03:22,402 --> 01:03:23,770 Lot of people do. (chuckles) 1232 01:03:26,206 --> 01:03:28,308 I always love to see you on this train. 1233 01:03:29,376 --> 01:03:30,944 What's your main trouble? 1234 01:03:31,110 --> 01:03:32,979 I'm just a poor boy who wants a rich girl. 1235 01:03:33,460 --> 01:03:34,647 (chuckles softly) 1236 01:03:34,714 --> 01:03:35,882 That's been done. 1237 01:03:35,982 --> 01:03:37,384 She's not really rich. 1238 01:03:37,484 --> 01:03:39,819 She's lower-upper-middle. 1239 01:03:39,886 --> 01:03:42,889 Well, you never see the real rich. They're invisible. 1240 01:03:44,224 --> 01:03:46,960 Do you have plans in your head to make something of yourself, 1241 01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:48,895 go and sweep her away? 1242 01:03:51,898 --> 01:03:53,299 Maybe. 1243 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,802 If she loved you, she'd take you poor. 1244 01:03:57,404 --> 01:03:58,805 Heard it here first. 1245 01:03:58,872 --> 01:04:00,173 (chuckles) 1246 01:04:00,273 --> 01:04:02,208 I've heard it from someone else. 1247 01:04:02,308 --> 01:04:05,378 Also, the Gatsby thing, you know? 1248 01:04:06,513 --> 01:04:09,649 Well, what's your main theme? Since it isn't really that one. 1249 01:04:09,716 --> 01:04:13,186 The absent father. You know that one? 1250 01:04:14,254 --> 01:04:17,290 Sure, how else do you think people become priests? 1251 01:04:17,390 --> 01:04:19,125 (chuckles) 1252 01:04:23,496 --> 01:04:25,498 (knocking) 1253 01:04:39,746 --> 01:04:41,748 (sighs) 1254 01:04:47,554 --> 01:04:49,389 You know, you really had me going. 1255 01:04:49,456 --> 01:04:51,391 About what? 1256 01:04:51,458 --> 01:04:56,196 Well, for the past year-- year and a half, frankly-- 1257 01:04:56,262 --> 01:04:58,598 it's... my life's been hell. 1258 01:04:59,799 --> 01:05:01,668 About me? 1259 01:05:01,768 --> 01:05:03,470 -Yes, about you. -(chuckles) 1260 01:05:04,471 --> 01:05:06,339 What do you want from me? 1261 01:05:07,507 --> 01:05:10,143 Well, we're seniors. 1262 01:05:12,479 --> 01:05:14,147 I'm getting agita. 1263 01:05:14,214 --> 01:05:18,218 Is agita the root of agitation? 1264 01:05:18,318 --> 01:05:20,653 No. Men who want things are. 1265 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:24,257 You know, I think you think I want something that I'm not thinking. 1266 01:05:28,194 --> 01:05:30,330 Unless you want me to think it. 1267 01:05:31,765 --> 01:05:33,600 I'm seeing someone. 1268 01:05:35,668 --> 01:05:37,704 You got to be ****ing kidding me. 1269 01:05:38,805 --> 01:05:42,142 FUTURE JR: I can't explain it, really, why I kept going back. 1270 01:05:42,208 --> 01:05:44,678 She just had my number. 1271 01:05:44,778 --> 01:05:48,181 WESLEY: All right, so she gets agita, whatever that is. 1272 01:05:48,248 --> 01:05:50,316 JR: It's Yiddish for "nerves." 1273 01:05:50,383 --> 01:05:53,920 WESLEY: All right, so she gets that and she needs her space 1274 01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:56,923 and her time and all that, right? 1275 01:05:57,230 --> 01:05:59,125 So I have a question for you. 1276 01:06:00,427 --> 01:06:02,429 What do you need? 1277 01:06:04,898 --> 01:06:07,634 Look, I'm not a genius. It's an obvious question. 1278 01:06:07,734 --> 01:06:10,970 What do I want? I want to be a writer, but I suck. 1279 01:06:11,710 --> 01:06:13,773 Well, when you suck at writing, that's when you become a journalist. 1280 01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:15,508 I'm not going to law school. 1281 01:06:15,608 --> 01:06:17,444 Neither am I. 1282 01:06:20,313 --> 01:06:23,416 -My mom, she... -Your mom wants you happy. 1283 01:06:23,516 --> 01:06:25,819 Yeah, she does. 1284 01:06:25,885 --> 01:06:28,210 Neither of us know how. 1285 01:06:35,395 --> 01:06:37,931 Let's go back and get graduated. 1286 01:06:38,998 --> 01:06:40,600 (chuckles) 1287 01:06:42,569 --> 01:06:44,170 All right. 1288 01:06:49,776 --> 01:06:51,978 -I'm here. I understand it's a big deal. -Do you? 1289 01:06:52,450 --> 01:06:53,980 -Yeah. -He graduated from Yale. 1290 01:06:54,470 --> 01:06:55,849 Your father graduated from Dartmouth. 1291 01:06:56,916 --> 01:06:59,719 SPEAKER: So, without further ado, let's bring them in. 1292 01:06:59,819 --> 01:07:01,888 Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome 1293 01:07:01,955 --> 01:07:04,724 to the Yale class of 1986. 1294 01:07:04,791 --> 01:07:07,727 (Valentin Haussmann's "Polnischer Tanz, Deutscher Tanz" playing) 1295 01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,402 (applause) 1296 01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:29,582 -(knocking) -JIMMY: There's a call for you. 1297 01:07:37,724 --> 01:07:39,559 Hello? 1298 01:07:39,626 --> 01:07:41,261 THE VOICE: Remember me? 1299 01:07:42,629 --> 01:07:44,640 Hey, Dad. 1300 01:07:44,130 --> 01:07:46,132 I-I-I didn't make it, as you know. 1301 01:07:46,232 --> 01:07:48,401 Uh, no... no surprise there. 1302 01:07:48,468 --> 01:07:52,505 Uh, but I did want to tell you that, uh... 1303 01:07:52,605 --> 01:07:54,341 I quit drinking. 1304 01:07:54,441 --> 01:07:57,344 And, uh, I've been here and there... 1305 01:07:58,845 --> 01:08:00,847 (laughs) …apologizing 1306 01:08:00,914 --> 01:08:04,551 and... you made the list. 1307 01:08:04,651 --> 01:08:07,454 -Wow. -Oh, come on. Don't **** with me. 1308 01:08:09,122 --> 01:08:10,757 Hey, I'm glad you made it. 1309 01:08:10,857 --> 01:08:12,792 Uh, I was worried. 1310 01:08:12,892 --> 01:08:15,195 College ain't for everybody. 1311 01:08:15,261 --> 01:08:18,565 It was for Mom, but you got her pregnant. 1312 01:08:18,631 --> 01:08:22,435 Yes, well, we all have to paddle our own canoe, JR. 1313 01:08:22,502 --> 01:08:25,605 Seems like your mother's got you paddling hers a little bit. 1314 01:08:26,673 --> 01:08:30,543 I think she's been paddling both of ours for a very long time. 1315 01:08:33,713 --> 01:08:35,148 Maybe. 1316 01:08:36,649 --> 01:08:39,419 Uh, all right, well, I'm on the air in 15 and change. 1317 01:08:39,519 --> 01:08:40,920 I got to go. 1318 01:08:41,210 --> 01:08:43,223 -Where are you? -(click, dial tone) 1319 01:08:48,928 --> 01:08:50,764 MOM: What law schools are you looking at? 1320 01:08:51,831 --> 01:08:53,133 None. 1321 01:08:53,233 --> 01:08:54,968 I'm gonna be a novelist. 1322 01:08:58,972 --> 01:09:00,540 Where you gonna live? 1323 01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,943 At Grandpa's, like everybody. 1324 01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:05,445 We all go to Grandpa's. 1325 01:09:05,512 --> 01:09:09,182 I mean, I-I know you think this is supposed to change everything, but... 1326 01:09:09,249 --> 01:09:10,583 You have to have a job. 1327 01:09:10,684 --> 01:09:13,353 I will have a job-- writing a novel. 1328 01:09:15,522 --> 01:09:17,757 Publishing is going more towards memoir. 1329 01:09:17,857 --> 01:09:19,559 (chuckles) That's true. 1330 01:09:25,899 --> 01:09:27,901 Here. 1331 01:09:27,967 --> 01:09:29,602 Is this for Sidney? 1332 01:09:29,669 --> 01:09:31,438 No. 1333 01:09:31,504 --> 01:09:33,390 Open it. 1334 01:09:40,313 --> 01:09:41,514 It's a Yale ring. 1335 01:09:41,581 --> 01:09:44,840 I don't like male jewelry, but I thought, 1336 01:09:44,184 --> 01:09:46,920 since the Musketeers actually did this together... 1337 01:09:48,210 --> 01:09:49,723 It's for you. 1338 01:09:55,762 --> 01:09:57,764 (JR chuckles) 1339 01:10:06,390 --> 01:10:07,874 WESLEY: Jesus, ****. 1340 01:10:07,974 --> 01:10:10,710 Symbolically, you just married your mother. 1341 01:10:10,810 --> 01:10:12,712 -Whoa. Take it easy. -All right, all right, all right. 1342 01:10:12,812 --> 01:10:15,548 So let's say... let's say you closed the circle with one parent, right? 1343 01:10:15,648 --> 01:10:17,484 -Yeah. Yeah. -Maybe. 1344 01:10:17,550 --> 01:10:19,319 What about The Voice? 1345 01:10:19,386 --> 01:10:21,621 -I don't even know where he is. -CHARLIE: The Voice... 1346 01:10:21,721 --> 01:10:24,858 locked in a downward spiral since the Carter administration. 1347 01:10:26,260 --> 01:10:29,262 So both you ******* just graduated? 1348 01:10:29,329 --> 01:10:31,998 Charlie, back 'em up on me. 1349 01:10:32,980 --> 01:10:33,633 -Aw. -Thanks, Chief. 1350 01:10:33,733 --> 01:10:36,669 CHIEF: So, how much do they get for a Yale education these days? 1351 01:10:36,770 --> 01:10:38,171 Oh, it's 60 grand. 1352 01:10:38,271 --> 01:10:41,141 -60? -JR got grants and scholarships. 1353 01:10:41,207 --> 01:10:43,443 Wesley, you were a full-ticket guy? 1354 01:10:43,510 --> 01:10:44,711 CHIEF: All right, answer me this. 1355 01:10:44,811 --> 01:10:48,214 What year... was the Magna Carta signed? 1356 01:10:49,315 --> 01:10:51,217 -I don't know. -I don't ****ing know. 1357 01:10:51,317 --> 01:10:54,154 -Survey says... -1215. 1358 01:10:54,220 --> 01:10:56,723 It's the foundation of English law. You should know it. 1359 01:10:56,790 --> 01:10:58,892 -Bulwark against tyranny. -King John. 1360 01:10:58,958 --> 01:11:00,794 -CHIEF: That's right. -WESLEY: At this point, Chief, 1361 01:11:00,894 --> 01:11:03,296 -I don't give a shit. -CHIEF: He doesn't give a shit. 1362 01:11:03,396 --> 01:11:06,166 Kid, I'm just trying to keep you out of the ruling classes. That's all. 1363 01:11:06,266 --> 01:11:07,934 Too late, Chief. Too late. 1364 01:11:08,100 --> 01:11:11,400 $60,000. My house cost $12,000. 1365 01:11:11,104 --> 01:11:14,400 -Your house cost $7,000. -My house cost $7,000. 1366 01:11:16,976 --> 01:11:19,145 JR: I was kind of into the "clean break" idea. 1367 01:11:19,212 --> 01:11:20,847 SIDNEY (laughs): We can be friends. 1368 01:11:20,914 --> 01:11:22,882 Just not romantic or ***ual. 1369 01:11:22,982 --> 01:11:25,180 That sounds appealing. 1370 01:11:25,850 --> 01:11:26,519 (Sidney laughs) 1371 01:11:26,586 --> 01:11:28,955 So, what are you doing? 1372 01:11:29,550 --> 01:11:30,457 I'm at the bar a lot. 1373 01:11:30,557 --> 01:11:32,625 I'm working on my novel. 1374 01:11:34,294 --> 01:11:36,329 Publishing is heading towards memoir. 1375 01:11:36,429 --> 01:11:38,998 People have been saying that. Yeah. 1376 01:11:39,990 --> 01:11:41,670 So, how many pages do you have? 1377 01:11:42,902 --> 01:11:44,204 Many. 1378 01:11:45,338 --> 01:11:47,400 Have you applied to newspapers? 1379 01:11:47,140 --> 01:11:49,309 -Yeah. Yeah. -You have clips? 1380 01:11:49,376 --> 01:11:51,144 You contacted The New York Times? 1381 01:11:51,211 --> 01:11:53,680 Would you like it if I was at The Times? 1382 01:11:54,914 --> 01:11:57,500 I love you anyway. 1383 01:11:57,150 --> 01:11:58,918 I just don't want a relationship. 1384 01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:00,420 But you have a relationship. 1385 01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:03,423 It's just not romantic or ***ual. 1386 01:12:09,662 --> 01:12:11,898 I think The Times is probably out of my league. 1387 01:12:13,566 --> 01:12:15,402 Was Yale out of your league? 1388 01:12:16,469 --> 01:12:18,805 -Can we just go to your place? -No. 1389 01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:21,875 I live with him. 1390 01:12:26,513 --> 01:12:29,816 CHARLIE: So, Sidney saw you in your reduced condition. 1391 01:12:30,884 --> 01:12:33,190 -But she was checking up on you. -Yeah. 1392 01:12:33,860 --> 01:12:35,188 She was trying to see if you had your shit together. 1393 01:12:35,255 --> 01:12:37,624 (laughing): Uh... 1394 01:12:37,724 --> 01:12:41,461 I don't even have any shit to get together. 1395 01:12:41,561 --> 01:12:44,330 -I don't. I don't have anything. -Hey. Hey, hey, listen. 1396 01:12:44,431 --> 01:12:47,834 What did I tell you about the male sciences? 1397 01:12:47,934 --> 01:12:49,569 -Remember that? -Yeah. 1398 01:12:49,636 --> 01:12:51,538 -Right? Have a job. -Right. 1399 01:12:51,638 --> 01:12:52,806 -Have a car. -Yeah. 1400 01:12:52,872 --> 01:12:54,941 -Put all your shit in it. -I don't have any of that. 1401 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,778 So you can be independent, and then somebody might want you. 1402 01:12:58,845 --> 01:13:01,381 And if they don't, you get the **** out of there. 1403 01:13:03,350 --> 01:13:04,718 Right? 1404 01:13:04,818 --> 01:13:06,486 (JR breathing deeply) 1405 01:13:07,554 --> 01:13:10,390 -(phone rings) -WOMAN: New York Times. 1406 01:13:10,457 --> 01:13:12,559 Yes. Can I tell him who's calling? 1407 01:13:14,294 --> 01:13:15,628 MAN: Take care. 1408 01:13:15,729 --> 01:13:17,731 (indistinct chatter) 1409 01:13:19,990 --> 01:13:21,670 -(phone rings) -WOMAN: New York Times. 1410 01:13:22,102 --> 01:13:23,269 -Hi. Are you JR? -Yes. 1411 01:13:23,336 --> 01:13:24,804 Yeah, you can come with me. 1412 01:13:25,872 --> 01:13:28,208 WOMAN: We all like your clips from New Haven. 1413 01:13:28,308 --> 01:13:30,430 Where are you working now? 1414 01:13:30,143 --> 01:13:32,450 I'm writing fiction, I think. 1415 01:13:32,145 --> 01:13:35,749 And I work at a family business. 1416 01:13:36,750 --> 01:13:39,486 It's a hospitality business. 1417 01:13:39,552 --> 01:13:42,122 A bar on Long Island. 1418 01:13:42,222 --> 01:13:43,857 (chuckles) 1419 01:13:43,923 --> 01:13:47,293 -Your clips are good, Mr. Maguire. -They are? 1420 01:13:47,394 --> 01:13:50,630 The editors feel they need to see more before they make a decision. 1421 01:13:50,130 --> 01:13:51,664 You want to see more? 1422 01:13:51,765 --> 01:13:53,990 Yes. 1423 01:13:54,667 --> 01:13:56,302 Is that good? 1424 01:13:56,403 --> 01:13:58,171 Yes. 1425 01:13:58,271 --> 01:13:59,873 (sighs) 1426 01:14:01,107 --> 01:14:03,309 I don't have more. 1427 01:14:06,179 --> 01:14:07,881 Let me tell Brian that. 1428 01:14:12,218 --> 01:14:14,540 Do you want to meet Brian? 1429 01:14:15,522 --> 01:14:18,391 (chuckles softly) Not if I don't have a job. 1430 01:14:21,428 --> 01:14:23,296 Why don't you come and meet him? 1431 01:14:24,297 --> 01:14:26,399 -(phones ringing) -(heavy, indistinct chatter) 1432 01:14:26,466 --> 01:14:28,468 (typewriter keys clacking) 1433 01:14:49,589 --> 01:14:51,591 JR, come in. 1434 01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:55,428 Hi, sir. 1435 01:14:58,298 --> 01:15:00,133 CHARLIE: So do not write to her 1436 01:15:00,233 --> 01:15:02,502 and tell her that you've improved your position, 1437 01:15:02,602 --> 01:15:04,804 because that will take away all the power and the majesty 1438 01:15:04,871 --> 01:15:06,373 of her finding this out for herself. 1439 01:15:06,473 --> 01:15:08,274 I already did. 1440 01:15:08,341 --> 01:15:11,711 Can you ****ing come to me with this shit, please? 1441 01:15:11,811 --> 01:15:14,814 Do not tell her you want her back. Did you say that? 1442 01:15:14,881 --> 01:15:16,816 Uh, yeah. (chuckles) 1443 01:15:16,883 --> 01:15:18,718 Did you go and... 1444 01:15:18,818 --> 01:15:21,121 stare up at the building, like, in the rain and shit? 1445 01:15:21,221 --> 01:15:22,555 No. 1446 01:15:23,623 --> 01:15:24,624 Sidney! 1447 01:15:24,724 --> 01:15:28,895 JR, this girl has abandoned you how many times? 1448 01:15:29,963 --> 01:15:32,732 If someone abandons you, what does that tell you? 1449 01:15:33,767 --> 01:15:35,668 You, of all people. 1450 01:15:35,769 --> 01:15:37,971 She just needs time, you know? 1451 01:15:38,380 --> 01:15:41,141 Yeah, I think you're missing a central fact, 1452 01:15:41,207 --> 01:15:44,811 which is that women decide if they want something or if they don't, 1453 01:15:44,878 --> 01:15:47,130 and it becomes very obvious very fast. 1454 01:15:47,800 --> 01:15:49,683 -But... -Women decide. 1455 01:15:49,749 --> 01:15:52,385 -I know, but... -When you met, who decided? 1456 01:15:52,485 --> 01:15:55,255 -She did. -There you go, numb nuts. 1457 01:15:55,355 --> 01:15:57,557 Standard pattern, obvious to all. 1458 01:15:57,624 --> 01:15:59,859 You do see a pattern, right? 1459 01:16:03,596 --> 01:16:04,998 Hey! (clears throat) 1460 01:16:05,980 --> 01:16:07,670 JR got a job at The Times. 1461 01:16:07,133 --> 01:16:09,135 (others cheering) 1462 01:16:11,504 --> 01:16:13,440 I'm a... I'm a copyboy. 1463 01:16:13,506 --> 01:16:15,809 -(laughing): You're a copyboy? -I-I get sandwiches. I... 1464 01:16:15,875 --> 01:16:18,211 Hey, Charlie, back him up on me. 1465 01:16:20,714 --> 01:16:24,551 So, your first byline presents a, uh, problem. 1466 01:16:24,651 --> 01:16:29,122 Uh, i-initials cannot be used without periods. 1467 01:16:29,222 --> 01:16:30,957 I've done some research, 1468 01:16:31,570 --> 01:16:33,727 and Harry S Truman did not use a dot after his... 1469 01:16:33,793 --> 01:16:35,195 They're not called dots. 1470 01:16:37,630 --> 01:16:39,666 EE Cummings-- uh, no, uh, periods. 1471 01:16:39,766 --> 01:16:41,601 And The Times uses them anyway. 1472 01:16:41,668 --> 01:16:43,690 And do you know why? 1473 01:16:43,136 --> 01:16:44,971 'Cause it looks like we forgot. 1474 01:16:45,380 --> 01:16:49,209 Times style is Times style, and you are J-period R-period Maguire. 1475 01:16:49,309 --> 01:16:51,211 Period. 1476 01:16:51,311 --> 01:16:53,713 There's no periods after a last name. 1477 01:16:53,813 --> 01:16:56,149 My congratulations on your fine work. 1478 01:16:56,216 --> 01:16:58,418 You got a byline in The New York Times. 1479 01:17:04,724 --> 01:17:05,725 Anything else? 1480 01:17:07,394 --> 01:17:09,396 Oh. No, thank you. 1481 01:17:10,463 --> 01:17:12,966 -(phones ringing) -(heavy, indistinct chatter) 1482 01:17:13,660 --> 01:17:15,680 (typewriter keys clacking) 1483 01:17:22,776 --> 01:17:24,210 (chuckles) 1484 01:17:24,310 --> 01:17:25,712 WESLEY: Dad owns the firm. 1485 01:17:25,812 --> 01:17:27,580 Brothers are partners. 1486 01:17:27,681 --> 01:17:28,915 Sooner or later, it's gonna... 1487 01:17:29,150 --> 01:17:30,917 -Lucky Sperm Club. -Lucky Sperm Club. 1488 01:17:31,170 --> 01:17:32,419 -Exactly. Yes. -Here you go. 1489 01:17:32,519 --> 01:17:34,200 Thank you. 1490 01:17:34,870 --> 01:17:35,622 So you got promoted? 1491 01:17:35,722 --> 01:17:38,558 Oh, no, I'm promoted when I become a full-fledged reporter 1492 01:17:38,625 --> 01:17:40,293 and when my byline appears every day. 1493 01:17:40,393 --> 01:17:43,563 And you still won't have the background Sidney's looking for 1494 01:17:43,630 --> 01:17:46,433 and you'll be mainly blossoming as a barfly. 1495 01:17:46,499 --> 01:17:48,468 -Uh-huh, well... -Ah, you know, genetics is tough. 1496 01:17:48,568 --> 01:17:50,170 What are you gonna do? 1497 01:17:50,270 --> 01:17:52,439 Incidentally, where is the old man? 1498 01:17:52,505 --> 01:17:54,441 -Uh, somewhere south. -Mm. 1499 01:17:54,507 --> 01:17:56,343 You know, you're becoming like your mother about Yale. 1500 01:17:56,443 --> 01:17:57,510 Oh, yeah? 1501 01:17:57,610 --> 01:17:59,679 Yeah, you think The Times means something. 1502 01:17:59,746 --> 01:18:01,381 Yeah, because it does. It's The New York ****ing Times. 1503 01:18:01,481 --> 01:18:03,817 -No, no, it doesn't. -Well, what does mean something? 1504 01:18:03,883 --> 01:18:06,520 A book. With a book, you'll go years 1505 01:18:06,152 --> 01:18:08,355 before you realize that that doesn't mean anything, either. 1506 01:18:08,421 --> 01:18:11,925 And I'm telling you, JR, I promise you, whether you write at The Times, 1507 01:18:12,250 --> 01:18:14,194 whether you write this book, 1508 01:18:14,260 --> 01:18:17,430 Sidney will still never call you out of the blue to get you back. 1509 01:18:17,497 --> 01:18:18,932 -Okay, and do you know why? -Why? 1510 01:18:18,998 --> 01:18:21,234 Why won't Sidney ever call me, genius who knows everything? 1511 01:18:21,301 --> 01:18:24,170 Because she's dumped you like nine times. 1512 01:18:24,270 --> 01:18:27,207 -(scoffs) -Because she doesn't love you, man. 1513 01:18:30,110 --> 01:18:33,246 Because she's getting married on Memorial Day. 1514 01:18:33,346 --> 01:18:35,548 ("Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues" by Danny O'Keefe playing) 1515 01:18:35,648 --> 01:18:39,252 In retrospect, what you do next is gonna be important. 1516 01:18:40,253 --> 01:18:42,389 WAITRESS: You gentlemen ready to order? 1517 01:18:42,455 --> 01:18:44,624 Four gin martinis, up with a twist. 1518 01:18:45,959 --> 01:18:48,728 ♪ Everybody's gone away ♪ 1519 01:18:51,798 --> 01:18:56,200 ♪ Said they're moving to L.A. ♪ 1520 01:18:57,337 --> 01:19:01,141 ♪ There's not a soul I know around ♪ 1521 01:19:03,276 --> 01:19:06,646 ♪ Everybody's leaving town ♪ 1522 01:19:08,314 --> 01:19:11,170 -♪ Some caught a freight, some caught... ♪ -YOUNG JR: Hey. 1523 01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:12,852 -Wake the **** up. -(song stops) 1524 01:19:13,853 --> 01:19:16,890 I thought you were gonna be a writer. 1525 01:19:17,190 --> 01:19:18,692 I am. 1526 01:19:18,758 --> 01:19:21,928 No, you're not. You're a copyboy. 1527 01:19:22,280 --> 01:19:23,930 -I write. -A book? 1528 01:19:23,997 --> 01:19:26,990 -No. -So you're just a ****up. 1529 01:19:26,166 --> 01:19:27,801 -I'm not a ****up. -Yeah, you are. 1530 01:19:27,901 --> 01:19:30,136 And you come from a long line of ****ups. 1531 01:19:31,204 --> 01:19:32,706 That's true. 1532 01:19:32,806 --> 01:19:34,674 You want to know what I think? 1533 01:19:35,775 --> 01:19:37,177 Probably not. 1534 01:19:37,277 --> 01:19:41,548 I think you should go back to sleep, wake up in 20 years, 1535 01:19:41,648 --> 01:19:44,170 tell everybody how good you could've been. 1536 01:19:46,319 --> 01:19:47,921 That's what I think. 1537 01:19:49,255 --> 01:19:50,790 -**** you. -**** you... 1538 01:19:50,890 --> 01:19:52,559 (inhales sharply) 1539 01:19:52,625 --> 01:19:54,627 (birds chirping) 1540 01:19:57,664 --> 01:19:59,332 (groans softly) 1541 01:20:01,768 --> 01:20:04,270 -(heavy, indistinct chatter) -(typewriter keys clacking) 1542 01:20:04,337 --> 01:20:06,339 (phones ringing) 1543 01:20:15,882 --> 01:20:17,550 Stinky. 1544 01:20:18,585 --> 01:20:21,421 Hey. He's looking for you. 1545 01:20:22,889 --> 01:20:24,791 (sighs) This is it. 1546 01:20:24,891 --> 01:20:26,259 Lucky bastard. 1547 01:20:29,662 --> 01:20:31,765 BRIAN: As you know, the editors have had a chance 1548 01:20:31,831 --> 01:20:35,468 to carefully review your work, and, um, it's terrific. 1549 01:20:35,568 --> 01:20:39,390 Truly, some of your pieces have been outstanding. 1550 01:20:39,139 --> 01:20:42,876 Though most of them are about, uh, people in bars on Long Island, uh... 1551 01:20:42,976 --> 01:20:44,310 (both chuckle) 1552 01:20:44,377 --> 01:20:47,480 Uh, some of your pieces have been truly, truly outstanding. 1553 01:20:47,547 --> 01:20:51,184 Um, that's why I wish I had better news. 1554 01:20:51,251 --> 01:20:53,887 Um, as you know, um, 1555 01:20:53,953 --> 01:20:57,190 when the committee meets to consider a trainee, 1556 01:20:57,257 --> 01:21:00,226 some editors voice support, some do not. 1557 01:21:00,293 --> 01:21:04,397 A vote's taken-- and, um, I can't tell you who voted how or why-- 1558 01:21:04,464 --> 01:21:06,966 but, um, the end result is 1559 01:21:07,670 --> 01:21:10,170 I cannot offer you a position as a reporter. 1560 01:21:14,507 --> 01:21:15,942 Thank you. 1561 01:21:16,900 --> 01:21:19,479 The feeling is that you lack, uh, experience, you know? 1562 01:21:19,546 --> 01:21:22,382 Smaller newspaper, perhaps, you know? 1563 01:21:22,482 --> 01:21:26,152 Someplace where you can, uh, learn and grow. 1564 01:21:27,954 --> 01:21:29,689 No. Thank you. 1565 01:21:32,792 --> 01:21:34,928 -(phones ringing) -(heavy, indistinct chatter) 1566 01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:36,996 (typewriter keys clacking) 1567 01:21:53,747 --> 01:21:55,382 It's your mom. 1568 01:22:00,253 --> 01:22:01,554 Hello? 1569 01:22:01,621 --> 01:22:03,189 CHARLIE: Don't look at me like that. 1570 01:22:03,256 --> 01:22:04,624 They said it was minor. 1571 01:22:05,925 --> 01:22:07,427 Let me tell you something. 1572 01:22:07,527 --> 01:22:10,296 It may be possible to kill me, 1573 01:22:10,397 --> 01:22:12,432 but it is not easy. 1574 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:16,136 Okay. You sure you're all right? 1575 01:22:16,236 --> 01:22:18,505 Yeah, I'm fine. 1576 01:22:18,605 --> 01:22:21,307 Good. Be out of here in a few days. 1577 01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:24,277 (sighs) 1578 01:22:24,344 --> 01:22:26,713 What's going on? What's up? 1579 01:22:26,813 --> 01:22:28,381 Ah. 1580 01:22:28,481 --> 01:22:32,185 Well, they didn't offer me that position. 1581 01:22:33,486 --> 01:22:35,555 Pure gold. 1582 01:22:35,622 --> 01:22:37,624 All those ******* are now characters. 1583 01:22:37,724 --> 01:22:39,250 Yeah, I guess so. 1584 01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:41,261 This incident itself is dramatic. 1585 01:22:41,361 --> 01:22:42,629 You can inflate this. 1586 01:22:42,729 --> 01:22:44,230 Yeah. Okay. 1587 01:22:44,297 --> 01:22:45,498 No, I think so. 1588 01:22:45,598 --> 01:22:48,935 Maybe... maybe this is the point where 1589 01:22:49,200 --> 01:22:51,471 you tell me something really important. 1590 01:22:51,538 --> 01:22:53,173 Yeah. 1591 01:22:54,607 --> 01:22:58,978 I... To be honest, I'm not 100% sure we should go memoir. 1592 01:22:59,450 --> 01:23:01,748 But we have to be conscious of the trend, right? 1593 01:23:02,982 --> 01:23:05,418 However, if it is a memoir, 1594 01:23:05,518 --> 01:23:08,880 and if it's gonna have any structure... 1595 01:23:09,222 --> 01:23:11,124 ...you know what you have to do. 1596 01:23:14,527 --> 01:23:17,263 He's in North Carolina doing a talk show. 1597 01:23:20,767 --> 01:23:23,303 Your father came to Manhasset once... (clears throat) 1598 01:23:23,403 --> 01:23:26,373 seeking rapprochements with your mother. 1599 01:23:26,473 --> 01:23:29,342 Came on the train-- didn't have a car. 1600 01:23:29,442 --> 01:23:31,311 Can't have any kind of ****ing rapprochements 1601 01:23:31,378 --> 01:23:33,580 with any kind of chick if you don't have a ****ing car. 1602 01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:34,814 You know this. 1603 01:23:34,881 --> 01:23:36,850 You've told me, yes, and the stashies in your wallet... 1604 01:23:36,916 --> 01:23:38,351 Maybe in the future of transportation 1605 01:23:38,418 --> 01:23:40,320 or in Holland or whatever, things are different, 1606 01:23:40,387 --> 01:23:43,590 but in America, have a car. 1607 01:23:43,690 --> 01:23:44,758 Right? 1608 01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:50,497 (clears throat) Anyway, your mother already told him to **** off. 1609 01:23:50,597 --> 01:23:52,265 He shows up. 1610 01:23:52,332 --> 01:23:53,933 Comes into the bar. 1611 01:23:54,968 --> 01:23:58,171 Orders a well Scotch neat. 1612 01:23:58,271 --> 01:23:59,806 (chuckles softly) 1613 01:23:59,873 --> 01:24:01,875 Never order a well Scotch. 1614 01:24:01,975 --> 01:24:03,643 Never order it neat. 1615 01:24:04,778 --> 01:24:07,914 It's a signal that you're reaching the end. 1616 01:24:09,916 --> 01:24:12,686 And in his case, this was 20 years ago. 1617 01:24:15,355 --> 01:24:18,692 And then I loaned the guy 30 bucks, which... 1618 01:24:18,758 --> 01:24:20,760 I have yet to see since. 1619 01:24:22,796 --> 01:24:25,665 And over all these years, 1620 01:24:25,765 --> 01:24:30,336 all I really remember about him is that ****ing voice. 1621 01:24:31,438 --> 01:24:33,873 I mean, the set of pipes. 1622 01:24:36,376 --> 01:24:39,450 Uh, as I get older... 1623 01:24:40,213 --> 01:24:42,515 I wonder, 1624 01:24:42,582 --> 01:24:44,718 you know, like... 1625 01:24:44,818 --> 01:24:46,820 what was the ****ing problem? 1626 01:24:48,254 --> 01:24:50,900 I mean... 1627 01:24:51,891 --> 01:24:53,360 ...if... 1628 01:24:53,426 --> 01:24:54,461 (sighs) 1629 01:24:57,130 --> 01:24:58,965 Do I remind you of him? 1630 01:25:02,100 --> 01:25:03,903 Lighten up on your drinking. 1631 01:25:07,374 --> 01:25:09,376 (sighs) 1632 01:25:12,120 --> 01:25:14,147 FUTURE JR: He was right, of course. 1633 01:25:14,214 --> 01:25:18,184 First thing he did when he got out of the hospital was light a cigarette. 1634 01:25:18,251 --> 01:25:21,354 What's that line about old dogs and new tricks? 1635 01:25:22,422 --> 01:25:23,623 Speaking of old dogs... 1636 01:25:26,590 --> 01:25:27,694 It was time. 1637 01:25:31,970 --> 01:25:33,990 ♪ ♪ 1638 01:26:01,127 --> 01:26:03,630 Oh, come here and give your old man a hug. 1639 01:26:08,802 --> 01:26:10,437 Thanks for making the trip. 1640 01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:13,373 Yeah. 1641 01:26:16,543 --> 01:26:21,381 (sighs) So, uh, I don't know if I told you on the phone, but, um... 1642 01:26:22,582 --> 01:26:26,219 I'm allowing myself a cocktail from time to time. 1643 01:26:28,210 --> 01:26:29,756 -I thought you were... -You-you want one? 1644 01:26:29,856 --> 01:26:31,224 -WAITRESS: Hey, Johnny. -Hey. 1645 01:26:31,291 --> 01:26:33,259 -What can I get for you? -Um... 1646 01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:35,562 Double Scotch, whatever the well is, 1647 01:26:35,628 --> 01:26:38,398 uh, rocks, splash of water, no fruit. 1648 01:26:38,465 --> 01:26:40,500 No fruit. Okay. 1649 01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,302 -And for you? -I'm fine. 1650 01:26:42,402 --> 01:26:43,903 Oh, come on, don't **** with me. 1651 01:26:43,970 --> 01:26:46,339 -He's gonna have what I'm having. -WAITRESS: You got it. 1652 01:26:49,142 --> 01:26:50,844 I make the rules. 1653 01:26:51,945 --> 01:26:53,413 Unless you can take me. 1654 01:26:57,217 --> 01:26:58,885 You want to take me on? 1655 01:27:01,254 --> 01:27:04,391 For being a shitty father, I'll give you the first shot. 1656 01:27:04,457 --> 01:27:06,920 (chuckles softly) 1657 01:27:07,293 --> 01:27:08,795 I think I'm okay. 1658 01:27:08,895 --> 01:27:10,330 Yeah. 1659 01:27:11,631 --> 01:27:14,801 I'm letting myself have a cocktail from time to time. 1660 01:27:15,835 --> 01:27:17,804 I don't think I told you over the phone 1661 01:27:17,871 --> 01:27:22,800 that I was letting myself have a cocktail from time to time, huh? 1662 01:27:22,108 --> 01:27:27,130 See, I realized that, um, I'm not an alcoholic, so... 1663 01:27:27,800 --> 01:27:28,815 Yeah. 1664 01:27:28,882 --> 01:27:30,183 It's all good. 1665 01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:32,385 You know, when the mood strikes me, 1666 01:27:32,485 --> 01:27:34,788 I can enjoy a cocktail. 1667 01:27:34,888 --> 01:27:38,258 And you can enjoy a cocktail with your old man. 1668 01:27:38,358 --> 01:27:40,260 WAITRESS: Here we go. 1669 01:27:40,360 --> 01:27:42,128 (The Voice clears throat) 1670 01:27:43,229 --> 01:27:44,931 THE VOICE: Thank you. 1671 01:27:52,372 --> 01:27:56,209 Okay, so what are you doing? 1672 01:27:57,344 --> 01:27:59,245 I'm a writer. 1673 01:27:59,346 --> 01:28:01,247 I have a job at The Times. 1674 01:28:06,653 --> 01:28:09,723 And, uh, how's your mother? 1675 01:28:09,789 --> 01:28:12,580 She's good. 1676 01:28:12,125 --> 01:28:13,860 Yeah? 1677 01:28:17,764 --> 01:28:20,133 We're gonna go, uh, have dinner. 1678 01:28:21,167 --> 01:28:22,669 At Kathy's. 1679 01:28:24,204 --> 01:28:26,272 She's the new poontang. (chuckles) 1680 01:28:28,274 --> 01:28:30,430 (The Voice clears throat) 1681 01:28:31,277 --> 01:28:33,513 So... (sighs) 1682 01:28:34,681 --> 01:28:36,820 Let's go. 1683 01:28:51,831 --> 01:28:53,833 (dog barking in distance) 1684 01:29:03,430 --> 01:29:04,678 (sighs) 1685 01:29:20,460 --> 01:29:21,961 THE VOICE: Hey. 1686 01:29:25,131 --> 01:29:28,268 Well, I see y'all started the party without me. 1687 01:29:28,334 --> 01:29:31,604 The party started a long time before I met you. 1688 01:29:32,839 --> 01:29:36,309 This is my son, JR. 1689 01:29:37,310 --> 01:29:39,713 What's the JR stand for? 1690 01:29:40,814 --> 01:29:42,148 Junior. 1691 01:29:43,149 --> 01:29:45,585 Very pleased to meet you, JR. 1692 01:29:45,685 --> 01:29:47,420 Nice to meet you. 1693 01:29:51,925 --> 01:29:53,360 THE VOICE: What's for supper? 1694 01:29:53,426 --> 01:29:55,462 KATHY: I cooked a chicken, got some vegetables. 1695 01:29:55,562 --> 01:29:56,996 What time do you want to eat? 1696 01:29:57,970 --> 01:29:59,566 THE VOICE: Well, we're hungry now. 1697 01:29:59,632 --> 01:30:02,100 What about that one? 1698 01:30:02,102 --> 01:30:03,570 Hmm... 1699 01:30:03,636 --> 01:30:06,506 -That is... Right here? -Yeah, one... the piece has to go here. 1700 01:30:06,606 --> 01:30:09,509 -This piece has to go here. -JR: Nice. 1701 01:30:09,609 --> 01:30:11,778 What do you do with these after you're done? 1702 01:30:13,380 --> 01:30:15,482 Mama shellacs 'em and puts 'em up. 1703 01:30:21,621 --> 01:30:24,391 -That's Venice. -I know. 1704 01:30:25,625 --> 01:30:27,594 Have you ever been there? 1705 01:30:27,694 --> 01:30:29,950 Not yet. 1706 01:30:30,230 --> 01:30:32,232 How do you get to go places? 1707 01:30:35,235 --> 01:30:36,636 How? 1708 01:30:40,507 --> 01:30:42,275 Do well in school. 1709 01:30:44,511 --> 01:30:47,647 Do very well in school. 1710 01:30:50,417 --> 01:30:53,687 That's the first thing I had to do. 1711 01:30:57,791 --> 01:31:02,295 And sometimes that's all there is. 1712 01:31:05,832 --> 01:31:07,333 I'm good at school. 1713 01:31:07,434 --> 01:31:10,870 Yeah, if-if you do very well in school... 1714 01:31:12,439 --> 01:31:13,707 ...no one... 1715 01:31:13,807 --> 01:31:16,276 THE VOICE: Bet you write like nuns ****. 1716 01:31:25,552 --> 01:31:27,870 Where's this ****ing chicken? 1717 01:31:27,187 --> 01:31:29,723 KATHY: Don't need any of your mood swings after the day I had. 1718 01:31:29,789 --> 01:31:31,958 THE VOICE: What kind of ****ing day could you possibly have had? 1719 01:31:32,580 --> 01:31:34,361 You out sucking **** to pay for your goddamn chicken? 1720 01:31:34,427 --> 01:31:36,429 -KATHY: You know what, don't touch me! -(thudding) 1721 01:31:42,402 --> 01:31:44,300 JR: Hey! 1722 01:31:50,110 --> 01:31:53,713 Goddamn, you look like you had some kind of a breakthrough. 1723 01:31:55,548 --> 01:31:57,350 Like everything is... 1724 01:31:58,918 --> 01:32:00,553 ...falling into place. 1725 01:32:00,653 --> 01:32:02,789 -Shut the **** up. -What did you say to me? 1726 01:32:02,889 --> 01:32:05,225 I said shut the **** up! 1727 01:32:11,631 --> 01:32:13,900 You can't shut me up. 1728 01:32:13,967 --> 01:32:16,169 I'm a broadcast professional. 1729 01:32:18,204 --> 01:32:19,973 You weren't trying to shut me up 1730 01:32:20,400 --> 01:32:22,108 when you were looking for me on the radio dial. 1731 01:32:22,175 --> 01:32:24,100 **** you. 1732 01:32:24,110 --> 01:32:25,578 (The Voice exhales sharply) 1733 01:32:25,679 --> 01:32:28,648 Man, you can't shut your daddy up. 1734 01:32:28,715 --> 01:32:32,352 What are you gonna do without the bad guy in your life? 1735 01:32:32,419 --> 01:32:34,540 You're set. 1736 01:32:35,955 --> 01:32:38,858 They'll all say that you never had a chance. 1737 01:32:49,969 --> 01:32:51,938 Where's your phone? 1738 01:32:53,600 --> 01:32:55,642 ("I Thought I Was a Child" by Jackson Browne playing) 1739 01:33:11,191 --> 01:33:13,193 ♪ ♪ 1740 01:33:31,878 --> 01:33:33,880 (song continues over radio) 1741 01:33:35,810 --> 01:33:36,916 Sorry about your father. 1742 01:33:39,190 --> 01:33:40,687 He's not my father. 1743 01:33:42,589 --> 01:33:44,391 You don't get to pick. 1744 01:33:45,859 --> 01:33:47,227 Maybe. 1745 01:33:50,497 --> 01:33:52,499 (dog barking in distance) 1746 01:33:58,400 --> 01:33:59,639 Hi, honey. 1747 01:34:01,541 --> 01:34:03,430 You're not gonna believe it. 1748 01:34:03,143 --> 01:34:04,544 I got a great job. 1749 01:34:04,644 --> 01:34:08,348 Your aunt, of all people, came through. 1750 01:34:09,549 --> 01:34:11,518 It's in Westhampton. I got a desk. 1751 01:34:11,584 --> 01:34:13,653 -Check the top? -Yeah. 1752 01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:16,423 They give you a book with a list of phone numbers and addresses, 1753 01:34:16,523 --> 01:34:20,527 and I talk to them about canceling their whole life and getting term, 1754 01:34:20,593 --> 01:34:24,464 putting the rest into an IRA that builds tax-free. 1755 01:34:25,498 --> 01:34:28,268 -How do I look? -You look fantastic. 1756 01:34:28,334 --> 01:34:30,336 Oh, God. 1757 01:34:30,437 --> 01:34:33,273 I am gonna be late! 1758 01:34:33,340 --> 01:34:36,643 They pay you a base salary, and then you get a percentage of what you sell. 1759 01:34:36,710 --> 01:34:38,311 There's some lasagna in the fridge. 1760 01:34:38,378 --> 01:34:40,647 Leave some for Charlie. Your grandpa already ate. I love you. 1761 01:34:40,714 --> 01:34:41,815 -Okay. -Wish me luck. 1762 01:34:41,881 --> 01:34:44,840 -Good luck. -(sighs) 1763 01:34:44,184 --> 01:34:46,386 You sure this looks okay? 1764 01:34:48,521 --> 01:34:50,523 Yeah. You look perfect. 1765 01:34:52,792 --> 01:34:54,361 (chuckles) 1766 01:34:58,732 --> 01:35:00,667 (chuckles softly) 1767 01:35:00,767 --> 01:35:02,969 CHARLIE: Your mother's settled, you know? 1768 01:35:03,690 --> 01:35:04,604 Selling insurance. 1769 01:35:04,671 --> 01:35:06,306 ("Different Drum" by Stone Poneys playing) 1770 01:35:06,373 --> 01:35:08,808 -Somebody's got to sell insurance, right? -Yeah. 1771 01:35:08,875 --> 01:35:11,544 Some of them are happy, probably. 1772 01:35:11,644 --> 01:35:14,814 But I think Yale mostly took care of her anxieties. 1773 01:35:14,881 --> 01:35:16,316 (laughs) 1774 01:35:16,383 --> 01:35:19,719 It's not my place to judge what she's looking for, but... 1775 01:35:19,819 --> 01:35:21,721 you know, I'd say she's all right. 1776 01:35:21,788 --> 01:35:23,923 Yeah, hope so. 1777 01:35:25,250 --> 01:35:26,893 What's all your stuff doing here? 1778 01:35:27,894 --> 01:35:29,596 I'm going to Manhattan. 1779 01:35:29,662 --> 01:35:31,798 It's time. Wesley has a place. 1780 01:35:32,899 --> 01:35:35,268 Well, if you're gonna be a writer, you got to get a job. 1781 01:35:35,335 --> 01:35:37,837 Yeah. I'm not sure what that is yet. 1782 01:35:38,838 --> 01:35:40,373 Insurance is taken. 1783 01:35:40,473 --> 01:35:42,800 (chuckles) 1784 01:35:43,209 --> 01:35:45,478 It's America. Pick something. 1785 01:35:48,481 --> 01:35:49,716 That everything? 1786 01:35:50,817 --> 01:35:52,252 Yeah, that's it. 1787 01:35:52,352 --> 01:35:53,853 -(keys jingling) -♪ For any person ♪ 1788 01:35:53,920 --> 01:35:55,889 ♪ Place or thing ♪ 1789 01:35:55,955 --> 01:35:57,924 ♪ To try and pull the reins ♪ 1790 01:35:58,240 --> 01:35:59,793 Don't say I never gave you nothing. 1791 01:35:59,893 --> 01:36:01,628 ♪ In on me ♪ 1792 01:36:01,728 --> 01:36:06,466 ♪ So goodbye, I'll be leaving ♪ 1793 01:36:06,566 --> 01:36:09,690 ♪ I see no sense ♪ 1794 01:36:09,135 --> 01:36:10,970 ♪ In this crying and grieving ♪ 1795 01:36:11,710 --> 01:36:13,506 ♪ We'll both live a lot longer... ♪ 1796 01:36:13,606 --> 01:36:15,342 (song stops) 1797 01:36:20,814 --> 01:36:22,549 (sighs, chuckles softly) 1798 01:36:22,649 --> 01:36:24,651 ♪ ♪ 1799 01:36:40,500 --> 01:36:42,335 Whoa. 1800 01:36:42,435 --> 01:36:44,537 -You got to be ****ing kidding me. -Whoa. 1801 01:36:44,637 --> 01:36:46,806 CHIEF: You old enough to drive this thing? 1802 01:36:46,873 --> 01:36:49,476 -BOBO: Better treat her with respect. -JOEY D: Steering wheel is on the left. 1803 01:36:49,542 --> 01:36:50,777 It's a man's car. 1804 01:36:50,844 --> 01:36:52,145 You sure there's gas in it? 1805 01:36:52,212 --> 01:36:54,381 I guess you think you're a man now, huh? 1806 01:36:54,481 --> 01:36:55,682 You little punk. 1807 01:36:59,586 --> 01:37:02,255 -It's un-****ing-believable. -(door opens) 1808 01:37:02,355 --> 01:37:04,724 -Guy thinks he's Elvis Presley, you know? -Kid's not a kid. 1809 01:37:09,963 --> 01:37:11,398 BOBO: You guys never gave me a car. 1810 01:37:11,464 --> 01:37:13,333 CHIEF: Actually, he owes me this ****ing car. 1811 01:37:13,433 --> 01:37:15,235 (engine starts) 1812 01:37:15,301 --> 01:37:17,804 ("Do It Again" by Steely Dan playing) 1813 01:37:20,140 --> 01:37:22,442 Get the **** out of here. 1814 01:37:22,509 --> 01:37:23,977 CHIEF: We don't want ya. 1815 01:37:26,246 --> 01:37:28,181 -Scram! -(laughter) 1816 01:37:29,215 --> 01:37:30,550 Don't come back! 1817 01:37:30,650 --> 01:37:32,318 (indistinct shouting) 1818 01:37:35,722 --> 01:37:38,758 FUTURE JR: When you set out to be a lawyer, you go to law school. 1819 01:37:38,858 --> 01:37:40,593 You get a diploma for your effort. 1820 01:37:40,694 --> 01:37:42,262 You pass the bar. 1821 01:37:42,328 --> 01:37:45,965 In the text, it declares you officially a lawyer. 1822 01:37:46,660 --> 01:37:48,268 That's how most jobs work. 1823 01:37:48,334 --> 01:37:50,837 But you're a writer the minute you say you are. 1824 01:37:50,937 --> 01:37:52,772 Nobody gives you a diploma. 1825 01:37:52,839 --> 01:37:56,810 You have to prove it, at least to yourself. 1826 01:37:56,876 --> 01:38:00,800 On that day, driving to Manhattan-- 1827 01:38:00,180 --> 01:38:04,484 stashies in my wallet, Uncle Charlie's car-- 1828 01:38:04,551 --> 01:38:07,200 that's the moment I knew I was a writer. 1829 01:38:08,788 --> 01:38:12,559 And just my luck, publishing was headed toward memoir. 1830 01:38:15,610 --> 01:38:18,998 ♪ In the mornin' you go gunnin' ♪ 1831 01:38:19,990 --> 01:38:22,936 ♪ For the man who stole your water ♪ 1832 01:38:23,200 --> 01:38:27,400 ♪ And you fire till he is done in ♪ 1833 01:38:27,140 --> 01:38:30,844 ♪ But they catch you at the border ♪ 1834 01:38:30,944 --> 01:38:35,248 ♪ And the mourners are all singin' ♪ 1835 01:38:35,348 --> 01:38:38,685 ♪ As they drag you by your feet ♪ 1836 01:38:38,752 --> 01:38:42,522 ♪ But the hangman isn't hangin' ♪ 1837 01:38:42,589 --> 01:38:46,920 ♪ And they put you on the street ♪ 1838 01:38:46,192 --> 01:38:51,731 ♪ Yeah, you go back, Jack, do it again ♪ 1839 01:38:51,798 --> 01:38:54,434 ♪ Wheel turnin' round and round ♪ 1840 01:38:54,501 --> 01:38:57,704 ♪ You go back, Jack, do it again ♪ 1841 01:39:05,779 --> 01:39:09,516 ♪ When you know she's no high climber ♪ 1842 01:39:09,582 --> 01:39:13,386 ♪ Then you find your only friend ♪ 1843 01:39:13,486 --> 01:39:17,190 ♪ In a room with your two-timer ♪ 1844 01:39:17,257 --> 01:39:21,270 ♪ And you're sure you're near the end ♪ 1845 01:39:21,940 --> 01:39:24,831 ♪ Then you love a little wild one ♪ 1846 01:39:24,931 --> 01:39:28,668 ♪ And she brings you only sorrow ♪ 1847 01:39:28,768 --> 01:39:32,605 ♪ All the time you know she's smilin' ♪ 1848 01:39:32,672 --> 01:39:36,176 ♪ You'll be on your knees tomorrow ♪ 1849 01:39:36,276 --> 01:39:41,147 ♪ Yeah, you go back, Jack, do it again ♪ 1850 01:39:41,214 --> 01:39:44,351 ♪ Wheel turnin' round and round ♪ 1851 01:39:44,417 --> 01:39:48,455 ♪ You go back, Jack, do it again ♪ 1852 01:39:50,423 --> 01:39:52,425 ♪ ♪ 1853 01:40:22,355 --> 01:40:24,357 ♪ ♪ 1854 01:40:53,887 --> 01:40:55,789 ♪ ♪ 1855 01:41:25,819 --> 01:41:27,821 ♪ ♪ 1856 01:41:36,620 --> 01:41:39,833 ♪ Now you swear and kick and beg us ♪ 1857 01:41:39,933 --> 01:41:43,903 ♪ That you're not a gambling man ♪ 1858 01:41:43,970 --> 01:41:47,474 ♪ Then you find you're back in Vegas ♪ 1859 01:41:47,540 --> 01:41:51,478 ♪ With a handle in your hand ♪ 1860 01:41:51,544 --> 01:41:55,248 ♪ Your black cards can make you money ♪ 1861 01:41:55,348 --> 01:41:58,918 ♪ So you hide them when you're able ♪ 1862 01:41:59,190 --> 01:42:02,722 ♪ In the land of milk and honey ♪ 1863 01:42:02,789 --> 01:42:06,393 ♪ You must put them on the table ♪ 1864 01:42:06,459 --> 01:42:11,898 ♪ Yeah, you go back, Jack, do it again ♪ 1865 01:42:11,965 --> 01:42:14,601 ♪ Wheel turnin' round and round ♪ 1866 01:42:14,667 --> 01:42:19,539 ♪ You go back, Jack, do it again. ♪ 1867 01:42:19,639 --> 01:42:21,641 ♪ ♪ 1868 01:42:43,663 --> 01:42:45,665 (song fades) 1869 01:42:45,765 --> 01:42:47,767 ♪ ♪ 1870 01:43:17,764 --> 01:43:19,766 ♪ ♪ 1871 01:43:49,763 --> 01:43:51,765 ♪ ♪ 1872 01:44:21,761 --> 01:44:23,763 ♪ ♪ 1873 01:44:42,816 --> 01:44:44,818 (music ends)