(OWL HOOTING)
(ROARING)
(GROWLING)
(HORSE WHINNYING)
(MEN SHOUTING)
(WOMAN PLEADING)
MAN: Yeah ! I got it! Oh, Lord, yes, I have!
(MEN SHOUTING)
WOMAN: Please let me go!
MAN: Don't forget how the straws come out. I'm first!
(MEN SHOUTING)
WOMAN: Please! You're Christian men ! How can you do this?
"Christian men"?
MEN: (SINGING) This is the way we go to church
Go to church, go to church
This is the way we go to church
HOGAN: The party's over.
You men can get moving.
(WOMAN WHIMPERS)
Hell, I don't know who you are, but, uh,
why be a hog, man?
She can handle four of us!
We also got some mighty fine whiskey here.
Waiting for ya! Yeah !
Besides a. . .
(SCREAMS)
Now what are you gonna do, you bastard?
You may get me,
but you sure as hell ain't gonna get any part of her!
Unless you like to have your fun with a corpse!
(SPURS JINGLING)
You keep standing around like that, the sun's gonna burn the hell out of ya.
(WHIMPERING)
They told me they were gonna kill me.
They told me they were gonna kill me so I couldn't report them.
They told me that. . .
Well, they ain't telling you much now.
So get dressed, hmm?
(HUMMING)
SARA: You're a good man.
All my life I will pray to the Virgin to protect you from harm.
Jesus Christ.
And I will also pray that for all your life
you have what you desire.
What the hell's a nun doing out here?
I'm on a mission.
In Mexico, a nun can travel safely among murderers and thieves.
I could've avoided these men,
but instead I came to ask for food.
They give you any?
No.
Well, there's probably some leftovers there.
I couldn't eat just now.
Well, you look like you could use a shot of whiskey.
(CHUCKLING) Whiskey?
Thank you.
Your mule? Yes.
No provisions, no canteen?
Just how'd you figure on existing?
I was confident the Lord would provide.
Three more like them?
He also provided you.
Which way you headed?
North.
North, huh?
Well. . .
I'm headed south,
so I'll just help myself to those ponies and be on my way.
But first we must cover them with stones.
We can't leave without giving them a Christian burial of some kind.
After the way they treated you, you feel they've got it coming?
Of course.
You gotta be touched in the head.
Do you have a shovel?
Sister, raise your eyes to heaven.
Now, are they or are they not God's creatures?
Well, of course they are.
Well, why do you want to rob them of all this convenient nourishment?
Do you have a shovel?
Yeah. It's on my packhorse, over the hill.
Then would you get it and cover them, please,
for the sake of my soul, if not your own?
Sister, I don't mind shooting 'em for ya,
but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over 'em for ya.
You're as stubborn as my mule, you know.
Worse.
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
How are the blisters?
Other things in life have hurt more.
Thank you, brother.
It's Hogan.
I'm Sister Sara.
Well, Sister Sara,
you ever get tired of being a nun,
you can look forward to being an A-1 gravedigger, that's for sure.
You'd better have some of these beans.
Those fellas weren't much in a fight, but one of 'em wasn't a bad cook.
I couldn't eat anything they cooked, but I'll have some of your water, please.
Yeah. Help yourself.
Thank you.
You really are touched !
You give that back to me, please.
Sister, you wanna bless 'em, you bless 'em dry.
I've obliged you about all I'm going to, Sister.
And now I'll say goodbye.
You stay out of that sun, now, you hear?
Or you're gonna really be in trouble.
Goodbye. Thank you again.
God go with you.
Hey, you're in luck.
Looks like a French cavalry headed this way.
You can probably travel along with them.
Please help me. They're looking for me.
Why?
I was raising money for the Mexican army, and they found out.
I had to run in the middle of the night. Please!
(HOOVES CLOPPING)
Lady, if you weren't a nun, I'd let you save your own bacon.
All right, you do as I say, and act fast.
And get rid of that cross. It shines like a mirror.
You bring that last horse and follow me.
Son of a bitch.
What are you doing?
I'm doing for you
what no holy Virgin's in any position to do.
(WHINNYING)
We'll walk slowly,
so as not to stir up the streambed any more than we have to.
Why did you put that dead man on the horse?
Because a horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without a rider.
If we're lucky, the French'll follow those ponies.
Here. Eat this.
I told you to eat something back there.
Your stomach keeps growling like that, we'll have the whole French army on us.
You know these little noises can only be heard a few feet away.
Why are you so angry with me? What have I done?
Well, maybe a nun ought not be so good-looking.
The way I look is of no importance.
I'm married to our Lord, Jesus Christ.
That's exactly what I'm steamed up about, Sister,
if you'll pardon my being frank.
I'm not offended, Brother Hogan.
Oh, don't "brother" me.
Excuse me.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
They split up, damn it, and they're catching up.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
I wouldn't just sit there. Move!
Well, we can't outrun 'em, but you can get in there.
If they start shooting, I may not get all of 'em,
but I will get their attention.
You wait a bit, and then head on out the other way.
You've been a wonderful friend, Mr. Hogan.
Go with God.
Leave him out of this, huh? Get moving.
(SNAKE RATTLING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
I can't go in there.
HOGAN: Why not?
There's a rattlesnake in there.
Keep singing, partner.
Get that mule in here.
Here. If we get split up,
(EXCLAIMS) this makes good eating.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(HORSE NICKERING)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(RATTLING)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(RATTLING)
Well, well.
Too bad nuns don't play poker. You'd be sharp at it.
There's no way I can thank you.
I suppose you'll be starting south now.
No, it's getting too close to dark.
We'll have a hot meal first.
Can nuns cook?
I do.
Good. And your late gentlemen friends
donated us some beans and coffee.
But first, I'll scratch up some firewood.
It's hard to believe that rattlesnake could taste so delicious.
Mmm.
Here. Ladies first.
Thank you.
You say you were headed north. Any particular place?
I wanted to try to find one of the Juarista bands. I'll be safe with them.
Where were you coming from?
Chihuahua.
Chihuahua?
You live there?
Mmm-hmm. For several years.
French garrison at Chihuahua.
Mmm-hmm, right next to the church.
You wouldn't by any chance know
how many soldiers in the garrison?
More or less, you know.
About 200, and some cannon.
How do you know all that?
The French officers wanted to learn to speak Spanish,
so my mother superior assigned the task to me.
I also speak French.
I went into the garrison three times a week.
I hate them. Oh, how I hate them.
Ain't it a sin for nuns to hate?
Not if it's something evil.
The French army killing and torturing the Mexican people,
trying to force them to become one of their colonies. I hate them.
How big is the garrison?
Two stories. Years ago it used to be a monastery.
It's one of those kind of buildings with an open patio?
Beautiful patio and. . .
A balcony around the top floor,
and a staircase leading down? That's right.
You say it's next to a church.
How far apart are they, exactly?
Well, I don't know exactly, but in some places not more than 1 0 or 1 2 feet.
When you're on the roof of the church,
is the top floor of the garrison higher or lower?
Lower. Much lower.
Sentries?
Day and night at the front gate.
Sister Sara, you're gonna slow me up some,
but I'm gonna take you to one of those guerilla bands you're looking for.
Do you belong to one of them?
Till I get paid, yeah.
Paid? You mean, in gold?
Well, let's put it this way.
If they pay me off in tortillas,
I'm gonna shoot 'em right in the eye.
But the Juaristas are too poor to hire anybody.
Well, I made a deal to work out a plan to take the garrison.
If it pays off, then I get half the French treasury.
Then you don't have any sympathy for their cause?
Not theirs or anybody else's.
See, I spent two years in a war in the States.
Right now all I'm interested in is money.
If money is all you care about,
then why did you fight in that war?
Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.
Mr. Hogan.
The 1 4th of July is a French holiday.
By noon of that day last year, the entire French garrison was drunk.
What's the date today?
July the 6th.
Beautiful.
That information puts gold right in my pocket.
This calls for a drink.
Well, I'll be leaving you for a few moments.
Well, be careful not to go too far.
There may be another rattler.
I'll pray as I walk.
HOGAN: I'll keep my back turned. Don't worry.
You're a real gentleman, Mr. Hogan.
Guess you haven't had much experience sleeping on the ground.
Oh, I'm very tired. I'll sleep.
For somebody who's wore out, you sure got a happy look on your face.
It was a miracle you found me when you did, Mr. Hogan.
Oh, that was no miracle.
Just an accident. Life is full of 'em.
No. It was a miracle.
Yes, ma'am.
Two men are riding along side by side.
A bullet ricochets off a rock,
kills one of 'em, doesn't kill the other.
Just an accident, that's all. No miracle.
Then you believe there are no miracles.
Well, now, you take that fella this morning.
If he could've picked up that stick of dynamite and thrown it back at me
before I shot him,
now, that would've been a miracle.
(LAUGHS)
Nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.
You think nuns don't laugh?
I don't know. I never spent the night with one before.
Good night, Mr. Hogan.
Thank you very much again for everything.
HOGAN: Hey. Wake up, Sister.
Time to get moving.
Couldn't I please sleep a little longer?
Not if you wanna travel with me, you don't.
(GROANING) I'm so stiff.
(GROANS)
Oh, I'm not accustomed to riding like that.
Would you please help me up?
Thank you.
Oh, every muscle is aching.
How can I possibly ride again today?
Well, I ride from sunup to sundown.
You either keep up or you don't.
You'll feel better when you've spent a few hours on your mule.
You make very good coffee.
A man on his own has to take care of himself.
So you're not married?
Nope.
Ever been? Nope.
Want to be?
Nope.
Don't you want a woman of your own?
What for?
Share your name, bear your children, be a companion.
To ask me to quit drinking,
quit gambling, to save my money,
and to bitch about her aches and pains all day? No, thanks.
Must be a lonely life.
It's a great life.
Women when I want 'em, and none with the name of Hogan.
How about you, ma'am? Haven't you ever wanted to be a whole woman?
Have a man make love to you? Have children?
I've chosen a different way of life.
Well, what about when you get those feelings that your God gave every woman,
including you?
You know, I always wondered about that.
Well, we're human, of course.
When we get those feelings, we pray until they pass.
In your case, Sister, just how much praying does that take?
What about before you became a nun? Did you ever have a man?
No.
Ever been kissed by one?
No.
Haven't you ever laid awake at night wondering what it'd be like?
No.
All the women I've ever met were natural born liars,
but I never knew about nuns till now.
You're right. I lied.
I'll say one thing, Sister.
I sure would've liked to have met up with you
before you took to them clothes and them vows.
HOGAN: That limp's getting worse.
Stone-bruised.
Take a week for that to heal up.
(SIGHS)
Well, maybe the people in this village'll hide you out
until this animal comes around.
Why couldn't I ride the packhorse?
'Cause he carries my equipment, that's why,
and I ain't about to miss being in Chihuahua on the 1 4th.
Please, Brother Hogan.
Look, I told you not to "brother" me!
All right, Mr. Mule.
You know, you were right. You are as stubborn as my mule.
When we get up to that village, Sister,
then I'll say adiós. This is where we part company.
(SNORTING)
Now what are you doing?
I must say a prayer at this shrine.
You said your prayers last night and this morning. You're gonna wear 'em out!
It's a sin to pass a shrine without praying.
Not if you shut your eyes, it isn't.
Please, Mr. Hogan.
All right. It's a small shrine. Let's make it a small prayer.
Buenos días, Hermana.
You see, Mr. Hogan, what a little prayer can do?
The Lord provided me with a kind gentleman who accepted my mule
in exchange for this creature of God.
Now I can still be with you.
Your mule for that burro?
(CHUCKLES)
Well, if that kind gentleman traded you even,
you won't be meeting up with him in heaven.
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(DOG BARKING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Gracias.
This man lives in the hills there.
Three hours ago, on his way to the market, he passed a French patrol.
Which way were they headed?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
All right.
Get the supplies we need and move out.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
HOGAN: I want you up in that tree.
What tree? Why?
Please, Mr. Hogan.
Looking down from heights frightens me.
Then look up.
I think there's a mountain lion around here, and I want you up here.
Excuse me, Sister.
(EXCLAIMS)
SARA: What are you doing?
HOGAN: If you can't see him, you can't shoot him.
How you doing, Sister?
Looking up.
Good.
We won't talk now.
I'd like him to make his run, if he's going to.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
What the hell?
(WOMEN WEEPING)
Who the hell are these people?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Come on, get down from there. Turn around. I'll catch you.
(SARA GRUNTS)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Huh? What'd she say about Santa Maria?
They're running away from the French soldiers at Satevo,
waiting for a train for Santa Maria.
Santa Maria's the town I'm headed for.
Those Juaristas I have that deal with
are hiding out there somewhere.
You gotta find out why the French are going there.
All right. You can be sure I will.
All right. Satevo's a long way away, so let's get some sleep.
(THANKING IN SPANISH)
(ALL SPEAKING SPANISH)
By the way, Sister, I guess I owe you an apology.
When I was trying to get you up the tree there, I. . .
Oh, no apology is necessary, Mr. Hogan.
In emergencies, the Church grants dispensation.
Anyway, it's no sin that you pushed me up the tree with your hands on my ass.
Where'd you learn that kind of English?
What kind?
"Ass."
Oh, in the convent.
Sister Harriet taught us different words for different parts of the body.
This part she called the ass.
Where is this Sister Harriet from, anyway?
New Orleans. Why?
I'd sure as hell like to know what she did before she became a nun.
(MAN SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
(TRUMPET BLOWING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(GREETING IN FRENCH)
(SOLDIER COMMANDING IN FRENCH)
(WOMEN WEEPING)
(SHOUTS IN FRENCH)
Viva Juarez!
(SOBBING)
(WOMAN CRYING)
Viva México libre!
(EXCLAIMS)
(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
(WEEPING)
(ALL SOBBING)
(MURMURING)
(COCK CROWING)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I'm sorry. I don't understand.
Please. An officer is dying. Come with me, please.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Even though you are not a priest,
you can give him some spiritual comfort.
Our colonel is very, very ill.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(MOANING)
My God is with you. Deliver his soul into your soul,
Mary Mother of God. . .
(PRAYING INDISTINCTLY)
(MUTTERS IN FRENCH)
You filthy bitch !
(COUGHING) Kiss the cross.
Sister, he was delirious. You must forgive him.
I forgive him.
I forgive him with all my heart.
Now he is with God.
God damn it!
(COUGHING)
I don't see how you can drink this stuff!
You're gonna get cockeyed drunk. What happened down there?
I was recognized. That's what happened.
(SARA PANTING)
By who?
I've never been so frightened. I had visions of being shot.
Who recognized you? What'd he do?
He died.
What the hell are you talking about?
I was asked to give spiritual comfort to one of the colonels who was dying of fever.
When I saw him, I nearly fainted.
He was one of the officers I taught Spanish at the fort in Chihuahua.
Oh, thank God none of the others believed what he called me.
What did he call you?
A filthy Juarista.
All right, so he died and you're safe.
Now, what did you find out?
They're waiting for a train, due today, for Santa Maria
so they can load it with supplies and ammunition.
Well, you did all right, Sister.
See, between here and Santa Maria, there's gotta be a gorge.
Where there's a gorge, there has to be a trestle.
Now all we gotta do is make sure we get there before the train does.
Will you burn it?
I'll blow it to hell and gone with the train on it.
Come on, get up. You're gonna have to ride, else I'll have to leave ya.
I am not intoxicated.
Well, you ought to be. That's a hell of a lot of whiskey before breakfast.
My faith in God will turn it to water.
We'd better hurry.
I've never seen a train blown to hell and gone before.
(GROANS)
(HORSE WHINNYING)
(SHOUTING IN YAQUI DIALECT)
(GROANING)
Get out of my line of fire, Sister.
Can you kill them all with one pistol?
Put it away. These are Yaquis.
They're wild and pagan, but the Church has reached some of them.
Can you get on your horse?
(GRUNTING)
I think so. I think so.
Then tell me when you're on it.
Be very careful not to show any pain or weakness.
(HOGAN GROANING)
You'll have to stop that when we get closer. Are you on?
I'm on.
(SHOUTS IN YAQUI DIALECT)
(ALL SHOUTING)
HOGAN: (SINGING) Yes, I killed a man one day
So they say
I beat him on the head
And I left him there for dead
Yes, I left him there for dead
Damn his eyes
Oh, you got the moss. Yeah.
That'll stop the flesh from putrefying.
Well, what should I do with it?
Well,
I'll take you through it, step by step.
First I gotta get drunker than hell.
(COUGHS)
How much time has passed since I got hit?
You asked me that ten minutes ago.
And what was your answer?
About an hour.
All right, I want you to cut a groove in the shaft of this arrow,
just deep enough for a good pinch of gunpowder.
Gunpowder?
Gunpowder. That's right.
That'll cauterize the inside, they tell me.
I don't know if this arrow's. . .
(GROANS)
. . .near my heart. I don't think so.
Of course, some women say my heart ain't exactly
in the right place.
All right, start cutting.
And don't worry if I yell a little bit.
Come on, my beautiful Sister, who saved my damn life from. . .
Oh ! Those damn Yaquis.
You don't want me to lose my deal, now, do ya?
(GROANING)
And the parson He did come
(GROANS)
You know, this ain't such a nice song, Sister,
but it's the only one I know well enough I can sing drunk.
I don't care what you sing.
You've got a beautiful character, you know.
Anyway, it's about a Protestant parson, not a Catholic one.
And the parson He did come
(GROANS)
And he looked so bloody glum as he talked of kingdom come
Well, he can kiss my ruddy bum
Damn his eyes
I need another bottle.
More whiskey.
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
That's the last bottle you got.
The last one.
Oh, that's bad news, Sister.
I'm sorry I can't share any of it with you,
but you gotta have a steady hand.
(SINGING) Well, the sheriff He did come, too
He came, too
Yes, the sheriff He came, too, he came, too
Oh, the sheriff He came, too
With his men all dressed in blue
Lord, they were a bloody crew
Damn their eyes
There, finished. That's not bad. Not bad.
That's right. You're married to a carpenter.
(PANTING) Now what?
Cut the shaft off right there.
Cut it? Yep.
(SINGING) Now it's up the rope I'll go
Yes, it's up the rope I'll go
Up I'll go
(GASPS)
And those bastards down below
They'll say "Sam, we told you so"
Damn their eyes
May I break it? Mmm-hmm.
(GROANS)
(GASPS)
All right, how much time's gone by?
(PANTING) Over an hour.
That damn train.
That train's on its way, I know it is.
Remember what I told you about accidents?
We didn't have to run across those damn Yaquis,
but we did.
No miracle. Just a rotten, lousy accident
that's gonna cost me my whole deal.
Get me up straight. Get me up straight.
Oh.
You are a beautiful woman, Sister Sara.
You feel like a beautiful woman.
You smell like a beautiful woman.
Please, Mr. Hogan. . .
I can't help thinking, you know,
that first time I saw you,
when you were almost naked. . .
You must forget that.
I can't forget that, Sister, my beautiful Sister.
I don't want to forget it.
Every night, when we bed down next to each other,
I think of you that way.
And I. . .
And I wanna reach out and touch you
and hold you and feel you.
I forgive you, because I know that if you weren't drunk
you wouldn't be talking this way. Maybe. Maybe so,
but you can't stop a man from wishing,
and I sure wish you weren't a nun.
Please, Mr. Hogan.
All right.
Give me some gunpowder out of my saddlebag.
Don't come near me till I tell ya.
Pour some in your hand
and leave the pouch there.
Fill the groove.
Fill in the groove.
That's fine.
All right, now comes the hard part,
'cause we gotta time this perfect.
As soon as I light the powder,
you drive the arrow through me and pull it out the other side.
(EXCLAIMS)
What do I hit it with?
Take the knife.
Put the flat part over the end
and hit it with the gun.
And please, Sister Sara,
please hit it a straight blow, not a glancing one.
What if I don't hit it straight?
(SLURRING) Oh, then,
my beautiful Sister,
the arrow will break off inside me.
Now, I know you're an A-1 gravedigger, but. . .
All right, all right. What do I do with the moss?
You plug the holes.
Both sides.
Push it in about a half inch.
(SIGHING) All right.
One last swallow, and it's up to you, Doc.
(SLURRING) Are you praying for me?
Yes.
Well, then I must be drunk enough,
'cause, damn my eyes,
I find that kinda touching.
One last thing, Sister.
The powder's gonna flare up when I light it, so watch yourself.
Now you can load up the animals.
We'll be on our way as soon as you get this stick out of me.
Ready?
(GRUNTING)
(HOGAN GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
Mr. Hogan !
Mr. Hogan. Mr. Hogan, remember the train.
The train with the French supplies. You have to blow it up.
How long since I been hit?
Hours.
What?
You fell unconscious.
Why didn't you wake me up?
Well, I thought you. . .
You thought! You thought!
The hell you thought!
You let me down, Sister.
You let me down.
Then why don't you get on your horse?
My head's spinning.
(GRUNTS)
You're too drunk to ride alone.
I'll have to get on with you.
Hold on to the mane.
Lean back against me. Lean back.
Tell your horse to get moving.
Oh, I like being in the arms of a good-looking nun.
How do you like it, Sister?
The Church allows this for the sake of your safety,
but you may not take liberties.
I apologize, ma'am.
I most sincerely do.
HOGAN: Will you look at that trestle?
Couldn't be sweeter.
SARA: It's a miracle.
Great place for an accident.
(CHUCKLES)
Is this small package of dynamite powerful enough?
Not if you put it down here at the base.
But if you put it up high on those braces. . . Pow!
How can you climb that trestle with your shoulder. . .
Oh, no. Oh, no, Mr. Hogan.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Remember, I saved your life.
I saved yours today, too.
Well, I saved yours twice from the French. Now, remember that.
I saved yours twice. Remember the arrow?
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna desert me in my hour of need?
Now what about that deadly rattlesnake
when you were hiding from them soldiers?
That was easy. That was no risk at all.
Did I or did I not come to you in your hour of need?
Now, this is my hour of need !
Well, just what kind of need is your need?
All you ever have on your mind is money.
Well, what's more important than that?
My life. If I climb that trestle, I'll fall.
A fine, psalm-singing hypocrite you are!
The French are gonna slaughter a whole outfit of your Juaristas,
and you're the only one who can help 'em,
and you won't climb one lousy, stinking trestle.
That's right, Sister. You lean on it.
A little of that good old-fashioned Christian faith
will carry you up there like a bird.
I know you're scared, Sara,
but those braces are easy to climb.
You just keep thinking of all those Christian lives you're gonna be saving.
Have faith in that wonderful, shiny cross,
and God and all those saints will be right up there with you.
And suppose they are with me as I climb,
you haven't yet told me how you'll set this off when I get. . .
You let me worry about that. I'll do it with my rifle.
Now, you get going, for surely that train's on its way.
(PANTING)
Keep going.
I want the dynamite all the way up on top
so I can get a clear shot at it.
That's it, Sister.
You're entitled. You certainly are entitled.
But I never did see anybody get used to hard liquor so fast.
I wanna take a few practice shots, without ammunition.
(PANTING) You turn around and face the bridge.
Come on. Turn around.
Ah. Just like that.
Now, when I tell you to,
I want you to take a deep breath and hold it.
Come on. Grab the end of the barrel. This ain't easy.
Take your fingers off the top of it.
All right, now, take a deep breath.
Hold it.
(GUN CLICKS)
You wouldn't have hit that dynamite.
Yes, I would've. No, I saw the end of the gun move
when you pulled the trigger. Look, I'd have hit it.
Put out your hand. Let's see how steady it is.
Oh, you're still drunk. You'll never hit that.
Sure, I'll hit it.
Put a bullet in it
and let's see if you can hit something about the same size.
All right. That little rock over there.
Over there. That little rock on top of the big rock.
Let's see if you can hit that. It's the same size.
You cock this for me.
Just pull down that lever as hard as you can, then slam it shut.
This? Yeah.
Perfect. All right.
All right. Forget about it.
Now, take a breath.
(INHALES)
Now, cock it again.
I guess we'd better try it with you sitting and me kneeling.
Go ahead. Get down.
This ain't easy now.
All right. Take a breath.
(INHALES)
(EXCLAIMS)
Um, can you shoot? No, I can't shoot!
And you made me climb that thing for nothing !
(PANTING) Now, take it easy. Just wait a minute.
I'm sobering up fast.
Meanwhile, you fix me a cup of hot coffee.
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
I'll fix you some hot coffee!
Sober up! You sober up, you dirty bastard, or I'll kill ya!
Sit up!
Now, tell me when to hold my breath.
Dear Mary, Mother of God, help this no-good atheist to shoot straight.
(PANTING)
Hold your breath.
(COUGHING)
What did I tell ya?
Did I or did I not hear you call me a bastard?
Well, I suppose whiskey can make a man hear anything.
Oh, dear Lord, forgive him for the impurity of his thoughts.
HOGAN: Ah, there's the cantina I'm looking for.
I may need your help. Is it all right for you to go into a saloon?
In times like this. . .
BOTH: The Church grants dispensations.
HOGAN: I know.
(SPURS JINGLING)
(BABY CRYING)
Buenas tardes, señor.
Buenas tardes, Hermana. Habla inglés?
Yes, I am speaking English.
Good. Good. Tequila.
Oh. Would you like something?
Do you have lemonade?
I'll have a lemonade.
You're going to get drunk again, are you?
Oh, I never get drunk unless I'm shot by Yaquis.
Then why the tequila?
Just gonna oil up my arm, Sister, that's all.
I don't think they've seen a nun in here for quite some time.
Not one like you, that's for sure.
Gracias. Hey.
Sí, señor? Any of these men in here speak English?
No, señor.
You sure?
Sure. Me only.
Good. Well, I'd like to order a bottle of French champagne.
Year 1 789?
French champagne, 1 789.
What is it, señor?
What's what?
This champagne.
Is there another EI Gato Negro saloon in this town?
Mmm-mmm.
Are you the owner of this one? No.
Well, who is?
Mi padre. My father.
When does he get here?
MAN: Psst, psst!
Por favor, senor. La cuenta, por favor.
That's swell. That's my luck.
They give me a code, and the man who has it isn't here.
He'll probably show up on the 1 5th of July.
Mr. Hogan, you should be happy you're still alive.
What do you want from your life anyway?
A ranch? Cattle? What do you want?
A ranch?
You mean get up at sunrise, go to bed at sunset,
rear in the saddle all day?
No thanks, Sister. I'd rather be dead.
You know, Sister, there's this town called San Francisco that's booming.
And if I get this stake,
well, I'm gonna open myself up the biggest gambling saloon in the whole area
with long red mahogany bars and green felt tables.
And we'll play roulette and dice and faro,
and all those wonderful games.
I realize that doesn't mean much to you,
but to me, that's living.
Some men have strange desires.
Where the hell's your father?
Señor, he is sick.
It's important that I see him. Where is he?
Since three days now he cannot talk. All this side no move.
Does he understand you when you talk to him? Sí, señor.
Does he understand English?
Not so good like me.
But my mother, she with him.
Un momento.
Madre.
He no can speak.
May we see him?
Si quiere, Hermana.
Please to come.
Francisco.
Can you understand me, señor?
That means yes.
I need a bottle of French champagne, year 1 789.
I must see Colonel Beltran at once.
Can you take me to where his camp is?
What about your son? Can he take me there?
Well, does anybody in this town know where the camp is?
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
The candle maker. She says the candle maker knows.
In Mexico, when somebody die or is killed on the road,
we put crosses.
So these crosses not make anybody think anything.
Now we go that way.
How far, Horacio?
Not far.
(HORSE WHINNYING)
MAN: Put away your gun, gringo.
Name's Hogan. Beltran's expecting me.
MAN: You mean Colonel Beltran.
Colonel, General, what difference does it make? Take me to him.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(DOG BARKING)
(BABY CRYING)
I have been waiting for you, Hogan.
What happened to you?
Oh, I stopped a Yaqui arrow.
That means you never got to Chihuahua?
Nope.
Sister Sara here saved me a good part of the trip.
Sister? How?
Is the deal still on?
I keep to my word. And you?
Good. Well, you get me a bottle of tequila,
and I'll lay you out a plan as smooth as a baby's behind.
You tell me the plan. I will tell you how smooth it is.
BELTRAN: The roof of the garrison is lower than the roof of the church.
And on the 1 4th of July, you have promised us, Sister,
all the Frenchmen will be drunk.
Not bad, Hogan. Not bad. Thank you, Sister.
Yeah, we make quite a team.
In fact, if we pull this off,
we might just go into the garrison business together. Right, Sister?
If we follow what you did to the train by capturing the garrison,
all of my people will take heart.
How many men do you have?
Forty, but there will be more by the time we reach Chihuahua.
How many more?
Fifty to sixty.
I thought you were a colonel in the Mexican army.
I am.
Any army I ever heard about, a colonel commands a full regiment.
Yes, in a parade, but not after all the fighting we've been through.
You know, when you got me into this thing,
you told me you had no artillery.
What about dynamite? Do you have any of that?
None.
Less than a hundred rifles, a few machetes, and not much more.
Even drunk, the French are gonna blow your heads off.
You don't know my men.
Each one of them tough, courageous and a Mexican patriot.
Hmm.
Isn't that sweet?
But I happen to be a Hogan patriot,
and I'd like to have some dynamite working with me.
I will welcome all you can get.
You show me the tree that it's growing on,
I'll have my men pick it.
Probably plenty for sale across the border in Texas.
Yeah, but that takes money.
Even the food you ate and that bottle were donated to us.
Bien. We leave for Chihuahua tomorrow.
You can come with us and fight under my orders, my way,
or go back to that Texas bar that I found you in.
I'm in on this deal, and no son of a bitch is taking me out of it.
If any other bastard spoke to me like that,
he would be dead.
But since you have helped Mexico,
I'm giving you the chance to get on your horse
and leave this camp alive.
Now get out of here fast.
I ain't leaving here.
Colonel, please.
This ring. It's gold. It'll buy dynamite.
Perhaps some of your people have other things that could be sold.
If someone will show me the way back to Santa Maria,
I'll go from house to house tonight, begging for help.
Dynamite would save the lives of some of my men.
I told you I was staying in this deal, Colonel,
'cause you know that nobody over in Texas is gonna sell a load of dynamite
to a Mexican.
I am asking you, buy dynamite for us.
I'd love to.
Oh, Sister.
You better sew this back on.
You don't wanna have those people see you going around half-dressed.
(SIGHS)
This is better than killing each other, no?
I only figured there was gonna be one funeral.
Catholic.
Oh? I didn't know that you were Catholic.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Hogan.
Easy, Hogan. There are no Yaqui arrows here. Just a nun.
How'd you do?
I'm not sure.
What do you mean you're not sure? You must know if you've got something worthwhile.
I just don't know how much it'll bring in Texas.
You don't?
This'll buy enough dynamite to give my horse a rupture.
You did real well for me, Sister.
Uh. . .
For the cause.
Maybe. . .
Maybe this will buy you a bottle of medicine
to keep your arm well-oiled.
Can you give this? I want to.
I like you better as a Juarista than as a nun, little Sister.
Well, I'll just see you in Chihuahua.
Right.
If we take the fort, we'll owe ourselves a celebration.
I might even put a little whiskey in your lemonade.
Mr. Hogan, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.
BELTRAN: They're bringing your horses now.
Fine. My packhorse has some handguns and some Winchesters.
I'm sure you'll know what to do with them. Gracias.
They're nothing. Just a gift from some old friends of Sister Sara's.
(BELTRAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
Could we talk, please?
I can't, Sister.
I need every second to get where I'm going.
Where are we gonna meet up?
Just outside of Chihuahua, as you're riding south, there is a little church.
Be there as early as you can
on the morning of the 1 4th. Good riding.
Don't let those French spend that money before we can get there.
Goodbye, Sister.
Goodbye.
(HORSE WHINNYING)
Hello, Mr. Hogan.
How do, Sister?
Glad to see you're back safe.
Waiting for the dynamite, huh?
Mmm-hmm. And you.
What, me personal?
Mmm. I missed you.
Yeah.
Well, to tell you the truth, it's felt kinda wrong the past few days
not having your burro slowing me up.
Did it?
Yeah, damn it.
What's the matter?
Well, you see, there's a problem, Sister.
I should've never met up with you in the first place.
Come. Beltran's waiting.
Where have you been, Hogan?
There are only a few more hours of daylight.
Well, I had to go to three towns to get it,
but I got all the dynamite we need.
Plus plenty of cigars.
Ignacio!
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
BELTRAN: My men will be leaving for the church in a few minutes.
How many men do you have?
Over one hundred. Let us go.
(BELL TOLLING)
The garrison is on that side.
They must be drunk already. I don't hear any singing like last year.
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(SOLDIER SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
Nobody's drunk. Nobody's even drinking there.
You got your calendars mixed up, Sister. No, I didn't.
It is their independence day. July the 1 4th.
What went wrong?
It is the train you blew up.
It put them on the alert.
To attack now would be suicide.
Surprise is impossible.
Wait a minute.
Without the element of surprise, I will never attack superior forces.
Instead of giving up so easy, why don't you just listen a minute?
I am listening to you,
but I have my mind on my men. All you have on yours is money.
All right, listen. I think I know how we can get a surprise.
Three streets from here, there's a house.
It used to be the residence of the bishop.
To protect him in the rainy season, there was a tunnel.
It led from the house to the garrison when it used to be a monastery.
And after the bishop moved, the monks built a wall closing it up.
I think you can break through.
Who lives in there now?
Very good friends of mine.
Trustworthy?
Yes. Very trustworthy.
Good. Then I got something that'll work.
What?
Fire.
Hey, when you were giving those Spanish lessons,
did you ever get a peek at where they kept the garrison money?
They used to pay me from a strongbox in the general's office,
second floor, in that building right over there.
HOGAN: Yeah, was it iron or wood?
SARA: Iron. Great.
That means it won't burn.
Now, I figure we separate your men into four groups,
giving 'em coal oil and dynamite
and let the first group hit that main gate.
Have the second group go through that tunnel she's talking about
and bust in the courtyard.
And the third group hit that gate over there.
And the fourth group,
the fourth group made up of your best riflemen, we'll have right up here.
They can pick off the sentries and set fire to the top of the garrison.
Of course this all has to happen at the same time.
First we shall wait for the cover of night.
All right.
And second,
some women and children carrying a piñata filled with dynamite
might get close enough to that front gate.
What's a piñata?
It's an old Mexican way of livening up a party.
(WHISPERING) Come, come.
(DOOR OPENS)
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
Sarita, baby!
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
WOMAN: You're safe! They didn't get you !
They didn't get my favorite girl ! No!
Sister Sara, this here's a cathouse.
Oh, no, Hogan.
This is no cathouse.
This is the best whorehouse in town.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Day and night, night and day, out there in that desert,
you made a sucker out of me.
I didn't want to. You forced me to.
What the hell are you talking about, I forced you to?
What's the first thing you said to me when we saw the cavalry?
You said if I wasn't a nun, you'd let me save my own bacon.
And then after I told you about the garrison,
you said if I wasn't a nun, you'd just as soon say adiós and thank you.
Well, I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be safe.
I tried to tell you that night at Beltran's camp,
but you were too damn busy to listen.
Well, what are you looking so surprised about, you no-good atheist? Move.
It could be, you know, I saved your bacon again.
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(HAMMERING)
Hogan. The piñata.
Got the coal oil? Yes.
All right, have them put this thing
against the building outside the gate.
How long a fuse are you putting in?
Approximately 30 seconds. That'll give 'em enough time to get on down the street.
They are going to be women and children, remember.
Any longer fuse might be seen.
Just don't make the children too young or the women too old.
And tell them not to trip.
Now you fill the jar with candies and nuts,
just like we do at the birthday party.
(MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(SQUAWKING)
Hogan, the tunnel is open.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
My men will have them free.
(ASKING QUESTION IN SPANISH)
(ANSWERING IN SPANISH)
(GRUNTING) I can't budge it.
If we use dynamite, the element of surprise is gone.
They'd have to open the trap door if they had another prisoner.
The French want me very badly.
Why don't you turn me over and ask for a reward?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Even though they don't put you in here,
it will get Hogan inside the gate.
It is a chance to open this door.
I don't like it.
We'll find another way. What other way?
I don't know. Let me think about it.
There's no time to think about it.
I still don't like it.
We have to get that trap door open, too, don't we?
You know what you're talking about's crazy, Sara.
Listen, Hogan, everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.
How can we be sure we hit 'em from different directions
all at the same time?
I will put a man in the belfry of the church.
As soon as he sees you and Sara entering the garrison,
he will ring the bells three times.
The women with the piñata will start up the street at a slow walk.
So from the time you enter the gate and the bells ring,
it will be four minutes till the explosion.
Slow 'em up. Make it six.
Bien. Six.
All right, let's go give a Spanish lesson.
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
HOGAN: Hold it.
I don't know how this is gonna come out, but I owe this to myself.
We better go.
Bad time for a war.
Bad time.
(DOG BARKING)
Anybody in there speak English?
MAN: Oui, monsieur.
What is it you wish here?
Well, I have something out here I think will interest you.
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
Oui, monsieur?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(INVITING IN FRENCH)
Come on, you little cottontail.
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
The General himself will want to meet you.
Un moment.
Oh, Captain, wait just a minute.
Now, I've just about had a bellyful of this little Juarista.
She's been yapping at me for three days now.
If your general wants to socialize, that's up to him.
But I'd just sooner have her locked up while I'm talking to him.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
(TOLLING)
They're gonna place that piñata right outside.
When I give you the signal, you get ready to move.
Boy, this little cottontail sure does wish she had that cross back.
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(MAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
(LAUGHING)
Excuse me, monsieur,
but I'm certainly not laughing at you,
but at this costume.
Come to think of it, we shall have to shoot you dressed like that.
Well, General, now, I understand
that raising money for the Mexican army is a crime.
So is shooting a lieutenant.
Did that bastard die?
Yes, the lieutenant died,
and you will, too.
Monsieur, I am General Le Claire.
Well, my name's Hamilton, General.
Tex, to my friends.
How do you do, monsieur?
How come you caught this little pigeon for us, eh?
Well, you see, I have this spread up north,
and in rides this nun. . .
(DOOR OPENS)
(WOMEN SINGING IN SPANISH)
And when I heard that, I said to myself,
"Tex, you just gotta haul her on down here and turn her in."
You know, I hate them damn Juaristas.
Do nothing but cause me trouble all the time.
Why, they got my Mexes laying around just praying for independence.
And you didn't know we had posted a reward?
A reward?
Two hundred gold francs.
Well, how about that.
Certainly better than a stab in the eye with a sharp stick.
Well, why don't you just go ahead and lock her up and then send me on my way?
Lock her up? Oh, no, no, monsieur.
Condemned prisoners are entitled to a last night of relaxation.
Wine or cognac, Sara?
Cognac. A full glass, please.
Anything my sweet-tempered little pigeon desires.
Colonel, please, bring 200 francs.
(SOLDIER SPEAKING FRENCH)
Monsieur Hamilton. . . Tex?
Well, make mine smaller than the one you poured her.
I'm just a country boy.
None of us can keep pace with Sara
in cognac or any other way.
To your virtues, and especially your vices, Sara.
Ah, what a pity to bury them both.
(WOMEN SINGING IN SPANISH)
Excuse me, Monsieur Hamilton.
A people who know how to sing, the Mexicans.
Are you familiar with that melody, monsieur?
Can't say that I am.
Las Mañanitas.
For birthdays and weddings and whatnot. Lovely.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(SINGING)
My, how touching.
They know it is our independence day and they've come to toast us.
Do you know what a piñata is, monsieur?
Can't say that I do.
Come and see. A charming invention.
They build a figure, usually of an animal, made of papier-mâché,
with a clay jar hidden in the center of the body.
They fill the jar with candies, nuts and fruits and small toys.
And then they suspend it from the limb of a tree.
Now, that's real cute.
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
(GUN FIRING)
Viva México!
(BLOWING)
ALL: Viva México!
(MEN SHOUTING)
Come on.
(GUNS FIRING)
Over here.
Get back to the house and pour yourself another (GROANS) cognac.
(TRUMPET BLOWING)
(EXCLAIMING)
(ALL SCREAM)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(GUNS FIRING)
(SCREAMING)
(GUNS FIRING)
(YELLING)
(GUNS FIRING)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(EXPLOSIONS)
(MAN SCREAMING)
(ALL SHOUTING)
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL YELLING)
(SCREAMING)
Viva Juarez! Viva Mexico!
Where's Sara?
Last door. Hall left. My room.
(JIGGLES DOORKNOB)
Sara, open up.
SARA: I'm taking a bath.
Well, get out of the bath.
Will you go away and come back later?
I wanna be all dressed up for you.
Who the hell wants to see you dressed?
(GRUNTS)
The least you can do is take off your hat.
I haven't got time for that.
(SPLASHING)
Come on.