[Larry] Previously on Doom Patrol...
We had developed a prototype for synthetic skin.
[Vic] So, I could have looked normal.
Cliffie, it says that your card's declined due to insufficient funds.
[Cliff] I already sold half my roomie's stuff.
What am I doing?
[Larry] There is a thing underneath my skin.
- [shrieks] - [screaming in pain]
[Jane] I just watched a girl teach herself how to ride a bike
after being held captive in her own mind for almost 70 years.
If you don't stop this divisive behavior,
you will get exactly what you want.
What if I'm a world-renowned time traveler?
[Holly] Don't let her straight-laced Bureau face fool you.
Laura is a wild cat.
[Madame Rouge] This is our top secret enclave, Bendy.
You're the Sisterhood of Dada.
But of course you are. Piffle paffle.
Made you something. Your paper clip.
I know the perfect place to keep this.
[Malcom] I'll guard it with my life.
I came here because something very big is set to occur.
[Cliff] The eternal flatulation is coming.
[farting noise]
[Madame Rouge] And it needs to be stopped.
[theme music playing]
[crackling]
[wind blowing]
[Holly laughing] Whoo!
[Holly shouting indistinctly]
[laughs]
[coughing]
Little Victor Stone. [exhales]
The last time I saw you, you were about this tall.
Sitting in the corner of Elinore's office,
playing quietly with your Superman doll.
- You probably don't remember me. - That was a lifetime ago.
Yeah, I worked with your mom at S.T.A.R. for years.
She was an incredible woman.
Why'd you leave?
Well, after 9/11, S.T.A.R. doubled down on weapons programs.
- I wanted to heal people, not arm them. - Hmm.
It's a shame how many of my clients were disfigured by S.T.A.R.-developed weapons.
So, what can I do for you, Vic?
I heard about synthetic skin,
and I wonder if that might be an option for me.
Well, that's definitely not what I expected you to say.
- But may I? - Of course.
I have to admit...
I was surprised when Silas chose the Cyborg tech for you,
instead of coming to me.
I mean, you were just such a happy kid.
My God, Silas really is a magician, isn't he?
I mean, an internal battery-powered mechanokinetic
pulse cannon. I...
What's the total output?
10,000 volts?
- 25. - Whoa.
Yeah, I can liquify an armored truck in under three seconds.
[chuckles] Wow.
Well...
Okay.
Unsurprisingly, the physiological integration
of your tech is incredibly extensive.
To safely introduce a SynthSkin exodermis,
your Cyborg tech would have to be completely removed.
Even Grid?
Obviously, your artificial organs
and structural prosthetics would have to stay,
but anything that requires more energy than you get from a burrito? Gotta go.
What if I wanted to do it?
How soon could you...
Good news there.
Your biotech interfaces are almost entirely nanotechnological,
which makes extraction largely a matter of code.
So, this could be an overnight procedure.
But this isn't a decision you should take lightly.
Have you talked with your father about this?
[exhales]
My mom would want this for me.
That's the only thing I care about.
That's fair.
I just...
[sighs]
We urge all of our clients to talk this through with a loved one.
Believe me, this will be a lot easier with someone by your side.
[Jane] My ****ing records?
Which ones?
Uh, well, I sold them as a lot. So, all of them?
- What the **** is wrong with you? - You don't understand.
They had a special edition Chipmunk Master keychain
you could get for just 15,000 acorns
and I was almost there
when I lost it all on a double-or-nothing Nut Jump against Mr. Fox
even though Ginger told me not to trust Mr. Fox!
Huh?
[Cliff] What?
There's something weird going on with you.
No, there isn't. There's something weird going on with you.
After you get my ****ing records back, you're gonna--
[choking]
Jane?
Oh, ****. I got this.
I took a Heimlich course in '87.
Had to bone the instructor to pass but I remember the basics.
[choking continues]
[Cliff] What the ****?
[groaning]
[gasps]
Oh, you got the prize!
[exhales]
[Jane]It's those Dada freaks.
[object shatters]
- What the ****? - [gasps]
[Cliff] Holy shit on a shingle.
There is something weird going on.
[Madame Rouge] Of course there's something going on,
you guileless golem. They are coming for us.
We must rally to defend the castle.
Cliff, seal the doors, the windows
and the mother****ing fireplaces.
Why are you even still here? We had a deal.
We did your little spy mission. Now, why don't you get the **** out
and take your dumb quirks and your ****ing stupid magic tricks with you.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have bigger problems--
You have bigger problems. Not us.
I assure you that this is everyone's problem.
Look, Curly. When something wants to get us,
it usually finds a way to get us.
- No use trying to stop it. - [scoffs]
Now you, get your laptop.
We're getting my records back, you ****.
- What's the big deal? - [groans]
They weren't even worth that much.
[Madame Rouge] We've got to seal these windows.
Now, your Cher workout tapes, on the other hand... [chuckles]
My what?
- Um... - Oh, no, you didn't.
You sold my Cher workout tapes?
[sputtering] Let me explain.
Um...
- [Cliff] What? No. - [doorbell ringing]
Wait, no, no, I'm still not-- Flit!
Shit, shit.
- Dad, what are you doing here? - Uh...
Hey, here I am. Surprise extended Grandpa visit.
- Whoo-hoo! - Hey.
- Did you get help with your-- - Oh, the Parkie?
Yeah, that's all taken care of.
Got some pills. And let me tell you, those babies work like gangbusters.
See?
Steady as a rock.
Good.
I... I've been eyeing the Bureau
since my cousin Paige came on here.
He's... he's a meta, too.
Worked in comms until the Big One.
Did you know him?
Anyway, Paige didn't make it back fully intact.
So, I figured I'd wait for the war to be good and over.
The war is never over.
So tell me, who are you?
Who am I? I'm, uh...
I'm... I'm Wally Sage, ma'am. I just told you--
What are you?
Ah, I see. A test.
Very sneaky, ma'am.
- Uh... What am I, huh? - [door opens]
Um...
Well, I guess, probably... I don't know what you'd call it.
Probably easier if I just show you.
Hmm.
Fascinating.
Can you apply this ability to, say... artillery?
Uh, sure, I guess. But...
I came in to see about the marketing position.
Well, you will be very useful.
Weapon.
Thank you.
Laura...
he was just a boy.
Wars don't fight themselves.
Is that all you have to say? You used to look out for kids like him.
Well, it's not the same carefree world it was then, is it?
We must make difficult choices in order to keep our country safe.
We're meeting at the Salon tonight to workshop a new piece.
We'd all love to see you.
- "We all"? - Yes.
Holly, Malcolm, everyone.
We miss you.
Don't you miss making art
and expressing yourself? You used to say that it was your calling.
Well, I have a higher calling now.
Yeah, I recall you landing here with a calling.
Something about a time machine.
But you gave up on all that when you found safety in your little...
coterie, didn't you?
Laura...
it's your coterie, too.
I swear, if the Bureau could, they'd make us forget that we all had lives before--
Yes, well, don't worry.
I'll never forget.
Now send in the next recruit, would you, on your way out?
[opens drawer]
[exhales deeply]
Mm, let me guess. She said no.
You surprised?
I'm a little worried about her, if I'm being honest.
- Lately, she's just seems so-- - Sour? Hmm.
- She's been sour for 15 years. - It's her job.
That sort of work just has to weigh on a person's soul.
- Yeah, if she still has one. - Malcolm.
She saved all of our souls once upon a time.
Maybe it's our turn to save hers.
Hmm.
Maybe you're right.
[knocking on door]
[Larry groans]
Larry?
- [groans] - [knocking on door]
- [Madame Rouge] Larry? - [Larry] God.
[Madame Rouge] It is 11:00 in the morning
and you're loafing about on the floor.
[Madame Rouge scoffs]
My expectations with you people truly could not be any lower at this point.
But we are about to be confronted by an inconceivably dangerous threat.
- [gasps] - And I need all the help I can get.
Uh, fine. Fine. Could you just... Can you give me a minute?
God.
Um... what on earth is that?
[Larry] It's just... Well, it started as a tumor, but then it, uh...
- That came out of you? - Yes.
- Out of your-- - Out of my mouth, okay?
Yes. It's definitely alive.
[Madame Rouge] Wow. A sentient tumor. Fascinating.
Have you recently been exposed to any abnormal atmospheres?
[Larry] My entire life is an abnormal atmosphere.
Do you mean the Afterlife? The Negative Nebula?
I went to Costco for the first time a few weeks ago.
- Was that it? - No, the second one.
This Nebula. I think that's your answer right there.
I mean, you're probably dealing with some kind of space parasite.
[Larry] Really?
How can you be sure?
Well, what else could it be, you bampot?
[Larry] Okay. Okay. Well, what should I do?
Oh, well, let's use our brains here.
When one expels a living,
16-pound parasite from one's body,
there is really only one reasonable response.
- Give it a name? - Jesus Christ almighty, no.
No, burn... Burn it. Burn it.
And meet me in the great room when you've dealt with it.
Jesus Christ! You burn it.
You don't give it a ****ing name.
[Kay crying]
What's wrong, Kay?
Driller Bill says you've been crying all day.
Someone...
Someone stole my bike.
It was right outside my door when I went to bed and when I woke up,
it was gone.
Okay, well,
maybe somebody just borrowed it. Did you ask--
They stole it!
Stop treating me like I'm a stupid baby.
Okay.
Well, we'll just go up top and get you a new bike.
And this time we'll actually pay for it.
No, I don't wanna go up. I never wanna go up again.
[continues crying]
[Rory cooing]
I don't know if it's your ice-cold touch
or the hum of your nutrient tank,
but he is never as relaxed as when he's with you.
That's my grandpa powers at work.
You remind me more and more of Grandpa RJ, you know that?
[Cliff groans]
You know what? You guys deserve a real break.
Why don't I watch Rory so you can go out? Date night.
Out? I don't even know what that means anymore.
Thanks, but we're good.
You know, that sounds nice actually.
Are you serious?
Yeah. We'll just walk down to Scooter Dog's, grab an ice cream bar.
We'll be gone 20 minutes. 30, tops.
You won't regret this. I'm gonna have the whole place cleaned up and--
- Here. Just in case, for emergencies. - [Cliff] Uh...
Okay, cool.
[Holly humming]
[machine whirring]
[grunts]
[continues humming]
[foghorn bellowing]
[birds chirping]
[exhales]
[Larry] I guess that's that.
[exhales]
Next time you go to space, don't forget to wear a spacesuit, Larry.
[chuckles]
Oh.
[exhales]
Damn it.
Damn, damn, damn.
Hey. Hey, you all right in there?
I couldn't just leave you out here without giving you a fighting chance.
I went back and made you a...
I don't know what space parasites eat,
but I figure everybody likes a PB&J.
Here you go.
[sighs]
What the hell is wrong with me?
Here. It's supposed to get pretty chilly tonight.
Hey, look, there's nothing to be afraid of.
[rustling nearby]
I don't think.
[groans]
[sighs]
Look, I don't know what you want,
but you're better off without me. Just trust me on that.
[foghorn bellowing in distance]
[Larry]Huh.
That can't be good.
[bellowing continues]
[bird screeching in distance]
[rhythmic beeping]
I... S... S...
M... E...
"Miss..."
"Miss me"?
How the hell did you find me?
[Vic] The supercomputer in my head helped a little.
And what do you
and the supercomputer in your head want?
I just wanted you to know, you were right.
- [Roni] About what? - About me.
Look, everything's always been so laid out for me.
I didn't even know what was missing.
But I do now.
It's like, how can I help people when there's this barrier between us?
When they can't even relate to me as a human being?
You're rambling, Vic.
What you trying to do? Keep me on the line long enough
for your S.T.A.R. buddies to come scoop me up?
No, no, you won't have to worry about that anymore.
What's going on, Vic?
[sighs] I think I might have it taken out.
My tech.
-All of it. - What?
Look, I just wanted you to know because you were the one who--
What are you talking about?
What...
What happened to wanting to be a hero?
But my tech doesn't make me a hero.
Having an energy cannon fused to my nervous system--
That's not what I meant. We have our preferred methods,
but at the end of the day, we want the same thing.
Change.
Now, I'm blasting through the back door demanding it
while you're walking in through the lobby with a big, dumb smile on your face,
talking about...
[in comical voice] "Hi, I'm Cyborg. Nice to meet ya."
[in normal voice] But sometimes change comes from the inside.
You taught me that. -I'm not giving up the fight.
I'll just have to find another way.
You already have a way, Vic.
You can sign all the online petitions that you want,
but when there is a guy with an arm cannon at the table,
you're going to want to listen to what he has to say.
Wait. How is that any different than a cop
demanding obedience down the barrel of a gun?
Because we don't want obedience.
All we want is justice.
I didn't ask for this, Roni.
None of us asked for what we got.
Only thing that matters is what we do once we got it.
But Cyborg isn't me.
I'm not happy like this.
Yeah, well, not all of us can afford to prioritize our happiness.
The fact is, you're a more effective agent of change as Cyborg than you are as Vic.
So what do you want?
Change?
Or do you want to happiness?
Look, you taught me to trust myself,
and that's exactly what I'm doing.
I thought you'd be happy for me.
[electric static]
Roni?
-You there? - Vic.
I'm losing you.
It's not safe to talk anyway.
Just...
Do what you gotta do.
And maybe I'll see you on the other side.
- [dishes clattering] - [Rory crying]
[Cliff] All good. All good. Everything's fine.
[man on radio] We have multiple reports of an unprecedented fog
spreading over the Eastern Seaboard.
In my 23 years on the weather map,
I've never seen anything like this--
Nope! No negativity today! This is what I'm talking about.
Grandpa and Rory just hanging out,
making memories that'll last a lifetime.
Grandpa is not thinking about anything at all.
Not about Ginger, not about Chipmunks.
[smoke alarm beeping]
- [Rory crying] - Don't worry, buddy.
Nothing your old g-pa can't handle.
Oh, ****!
Didn't think that through.
- [Mel] Hey. - [Clara] We're back.
[Cliff] Oh, thank God... I mean, oh, hey, back so soon?
Cliff, the burner is on high.
Oh, uh, I would have caught that.
Well, you did catch it. So it's all good.
It's fine. At least you didn't burn the house down.
See that? We're building trust.
Yeah, I'm gonna put Rory down for a nap.
Hey, did you hear
about this weird fog thing rolling in?
Is that something we should be concerned about?
Oh, that? Don't even worry about it.
Big Papa Cliff will keep his family safe.
Good.
I don't want you running off already.
You just got here.
[Cliff] Yeah.
[objects clattering]
[Jane] I'm gonna destroy whatever thieving **** took it.
I'm talking murder.
Who took the ****ing bike, Doc?
Whoever took it, I hope they threw it in the well.
I'm gonna **** you up.
They will have done us all a favor.
In case you haven't noticed, Kay is staying put,
right where she belongs.
Because she's ****ing depressed,
not because she wants to.
I hate to point the finger, Jane,
but you've opened this can of worms
by allowing her to go up in the first place.
She was fine.
She was lucky. And if the girl's going to be hurt,
it's better it be on our terms than on theirs.
Don't you agree?
We were created for one thing, it was to protect the girl.
If we can't even do that, then maybe--
Who's protecting us, Jane?
[gasps]
[Madame Rouge] Annihilation is hot on my trail,
but God forbid any of them
should lift a finger to try and help me.
Why should I lure it away from this temple of torpor?
Because I am a good person, that is why!
[voice whispers] Tiptoe harem, purple and low.
[gasps softly]
****!
[bicycle bell ringing]
[ominous laughter]
Show yourselves!
[Hodges] Burning the midnight oil?
You know, if we had any sense, we would be out celebrating.
I heard we set a new recruitment record this week.
[Laura] I set a recruitment record.
Twelfth week in a row, actually.
Not bad, De Mille.
If numbers were the only thing that mattered,
you'd be running this joint by now.
Pace yourself, Willy.
Making enemies around here won't advance you. Trust me.
Wait.
You don't think you have what it takes
to be a leader in this organization, do you?
Listen to me, you little hyena.
I have been a loyal and industrious part
of the Bureau for 35 years and I--
What about your little pals?
My little pals?
In the mailroom. The stretchy one,
the living cyclone, the invisible one.
All very powerful or so I hear.
And yet, every time
the reclassification window comes around,
you decide to keep them hidden in the basement.
Yes, well, they're not--
We are in the midst of a meta-human arms race.
And it seems to me that you are more worried
about protecting your friends
than you are about protecting what is actually at risk.
The moral core of our great nation.
I do my job well
and I do it with acute moral integrity.
And the meta-humans in question are simply unsuited for war.
They're pacifists.
And what does that make you?
Those freaks are merely an untapped resource.
And depending on who you ask...
so are you.
My advice?
"Friend" is merely a nice word for "opportunity."
And don't think for a second
that the big eye in the sky isn't watching you.
[screams in frustration]
[sighs]
[exotic music playing]
[Rita] If we could have your attention.
Malcolm and I have been working on something at home.
We're not sure where we're going with it,
but perhaps it will help ignite some creative juices, mm?
Oh, I see. You have his face
and he has yours because you're in love.
- Please kill me now. - [snickering]
[Malcolm] Introducing Skittish Apparition,
and The Shapeless Shape.
[Rita] Plastic!
[Malcolm] Tundra!
[both] Gullible pickling carousel!
[Rita laughing]
[Malcolm] Ah...
[both scatting]
What the hell was that, softshoe?
Ah! Well...
The newest thing on Broadway.
Our thinking was that a playful subversion
of cultural trends could prove a fertile canvas
in which to examine human frivolity.
[Malcolm] Mm-hmm.
Who are we?!
We're the Sisterhood of Dada.
What are we?!
We're artists.
And you really think this world needs a playful examination of frivolity
from an aging band of weekend troubadours?
Well, that's a little harsh.
This world...
Needs an enema.
It's time to embrace our power.
It's time to commit to our destiny.
Here we go.
We've been dancing around it for 30 years.
And every year we vote against it.
Only because of dull inertia!
Because it's too dangerous.
Why are we?!
To make the world a better place.
[Lloyd scoffs]
Since our inception, there's been plague,
depression, Holocaust.
Just five years ago, a world away,
our bombs vaporized
entire populations where they stood.
And right here, in our backyard,
my own people have been subjected to horrors...
you can't even...
I can't even, man. You know?
How are we doing?
We... Making the world a better place.
We stood by and watched
the Bureau lurch from oddities to normalcy,
guided by the very same ideologies we claim to oppose.
We just kept our heads down.
For what?
A paycheck?
There's a word for what we are. All of us.
Complicit.
Well, if that's not motivation to make a big statement,
I don't know what is.
As Nietzsche once said, "It takes chaos inside of us
to give birth to the dancing star."
Hmm?
The Eternal Flagellation would certainly be a big
middle finger to the Bureau, wouldn't it?
But what about Laura?
She'll never go along with it, and we'll be forcing her
to choose between us and the Bureau.
[foghorn bellowing in distance]
[wind blowing]
[Dr. Chalmers] All right. You should start to feel a little lightheaded.
That's normal.
Was that there before?
[indistinct whispering]
Hey.
So...
I found out what happened to your bike.
Turns out somebody just wanted to borrow it and they lost it.
It was all a big mistake.
Nothing to be upset about.
We both know that's bullshit.
[door slams]
Kay?
[Cliff] You should have seen me, Ginger.
Big Papa Cliff was Mr. Momming the shit out of that kid.
[Dr. Chalmers] Vic! Oh, my God! Are you okay?
[Cliff] **** me!
Oh, my God, Cliffie, is it the meds again?
Do you want me to call somebody?
[Cliff] No, don't call anybody. It just needs to run its...
course!
[foghorn bellowing]
[Cliff] Um...
What the ****?
Whoa!
Where the **** are we?
[Cliff] Welcome to, apparently,
my drug-filled fantasy sequence or some shit.
[snickers]
[Cliff and Vic laugh]
Oh, my ****ing God!
I'm actually here with you metal-poisoned morons.
And I was in the middle of something.
Can't let any more in.
Can't let the fog in.
[Larry] Hey, what's up with the foghorn?
How did you get inside?
What? I don't know. The front door.
Did you seal it?
- [Larry] What? Why? - [Madame Rouge] Why?
[Larry] It's just a little--
****!
[indistinct chatter]
Laura, you came.
[Malcolm]I'll be damned!
[Shelly] Laura!
Guess what! We're doing it, Laura.
We're finally doing the Eternal Flagellation!
Yes!
[all cheering and laughing]
Oh...
[Larry grunts]
[Larry] Um, can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?
I know this place.
[Cliff] Is this Dada? Are we doing Dada?
- [Rita] Laura... - [Malcolm] I'll be damned.
How do I know this place?
[Laura echoing]They're pacifists.
[Holly echoing] We're finally doing the Eternal Flagellation.
I wanted you all to know how proud I am of you.
No matter how tough things got, you stuck by each other.
No matter how far I drifted away from you,
you kept me tethered.
I'll never forget that.
Don't apologize. Dance.
[Cliff] This is really dumb but we actually look pretty cool.
[Larry]Is this what you were so scared of, De Mille?
I've been to scarier dance parties at church lock-ins.
[Jane]God, that sounds scary as ****.
No, no.
No.
[footsteps thudding]
[gasps]
No! No, there's no need for force. They won't fight back.
[grunting]
They won't fight back.
They're pacifists.
Please...
Please!
Why'd you do this?
Put them on their knees.
[Larry] Ow!
What the-- God.
[Hodges] Well done, De Mille.
I've been looking forward to this for years.
I'd like to personally welcome you
to the Bureau's Meta Weapons Division.
Finally promoted out of the mail room.
You should be proud.
Go to hell.
We will never fight for you.
You're up, De Mille.
Weapon.
[breath shudders]
Weapon.
[Jane] Wait a ****ing minute.
Is this about you?
Weapon.
Is this like a flashback?
Weapon.
How could you do this to us?
We were family.
Your...
Your country needs you.
So... on your knees, Bendy.
On your knees, Bendy.
[stun gun crackles]
On your knees!
[Malcolm] Laura, stop this.
[crackling]
[Rita] Malcolm!
[Malcolm]Laura!
[Malcolm groans]
[crying]
[groans]
[Larry] Rita?
She's ready.
[Cliff] What the ****!
What's going on now?
[Larry] Uh, I think we're about to find out.
[egg cracking]
[growling]
What the hell is that?
[Rita]Laura, you remember Malcolm?
[gasps]
You killed him. Now you must set him free.
I didn't kill anyone. Everything I did, I had a damn good reason to do.
You told me the Sisterhood of Dada was evil.
- But the evil one was you. - No!
No, I am not evil.
It's true, Laura. You did this and we suffered for 70 years.
Did unspeakable things in service of a cause
we abhorred because of you.
You are wrong.
The whole world was crumbling around us,
and all I cared about was you.
But I made an oath to the Bureau and I--
[shrieking]
We are offering you a chance to atone. Take it!
I atoned that day...
by making useful agents of you.
[screaming in cage]
Malcolm!
Bendy, wait! It has to be Laura.
[wings flapping]
Laura!
[Cliff] Was that it? Was that the Eternal Flatulation?
I don't get it.
I think it's flagellation.
That's what I said.
This was just the prologue. The prologue to reckoning.
That... sounds bad. Is it bad?
Only if you are.
It's for the best.
So wait.
The dancing wasn't the thing?
["Sweet City Woman" playing]
****!
Are we just gonna let them get away with this?
[birds screeching]
[Larry] What the...
Uh...
[screeching]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[Cliff] Holy shit!
Did you see that?
So wait, is this the Eternal Flatulation?
What the ****!
To be honest, I'm still high as--
[both grunting]
[screeching continues]
Oh, God.
[screeching continues]
♪ Sweet Sweet city woman ♪
♪ Oh, she's my Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪
♪ Sweet Sweet city woman ♪
♪ Oh, my Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪
♪ Everybody ♪
♪ Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪