This was all The Crow carried?
******ins travel light.
One-way to Carreras.
Do you think Hitler is there?
Klaus said The Crow is the only one who sees him.
So we go?
Go scout. See what you find.
Take the counterfeiter and the actor.
Ima, the actor is a liability.
He's right for this.
And if he doesn't come back, well,
that's the cost of what we do.
The cost of what we do?
You'll stay here with me.
Oh, Ima...
You will stay here!
Be discreet.
Hitler is in our ****ing reach.
Careful out there.
I'll make a mess of 'em.
Not of the Jews.
Of Joe.
When he sees them, you can't know for certain
how he'll respond.
Loyalty can be buried deep.
So, too, can love.
Let's go kill some Jews, boys.
I want to thank one person without whose generosity
none of this would be possible:
Meyer Offerman.
Meyer, come up here, please.
Oh...
Please.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
I, I always knew I'd make it to the stage.
Thank you very much.
Well, I'm... I'm very pleased
we could all be here together.
Although I'm afraid, uh, we may lose
some of these, uh, wonderful Jewish scholars
to the Great White Way now.
I don't know, I'm a little worried.
Should I be worried about this?
For your generous mitzvah, we thought it fitting
to commemorate this as the Meyer Offerman Theater
of Temple Israel.
Thank you
very much.
They want $30 million, huh?
Well, you tell them that we'll gladly increase production.
What is that?
Yeah, let me call you back.
What the...? Edward!
What the...? Where the **** is he?
Oh!
It's...
You.
Please just l-let me explain.
A couple of days ago, I saw the name
of a woman on our telephone pad
and an address in L.A.
So, of course, I got a feeling,
and I called Professor Morél's office.
He said there was no trip to Israel.
And then I called American Express, and there it was.
A charge for two weeks
at the Palladio Hotel in Buenos Aires.
So I had a few drinks, and, uh, next thing I knew,
I was on a plane here.
It really was, like, right out of a bad movie.
So, how's the room service?
- Clara. - Who's Millie, Sam?
Are you in love with her?
She's an FBI agent.
An FBI agent?
She investigated my grandmother's murder.
I flew to Los Angeles to see her
because I found something about someone...
Someone I had been looking for for a long time.
And that person is here in Argentina.
Who?
My grandmother's sister Chava.
My safta thought that she was the only one in her family
who survived the war.
Well, it turns out, I was doing my thesis research,
and I came across the name of a survivor:
Chava Apfelbaum.
I looked deeper and I discovered that
she had escaped the camps,
and so I flew to Los Angeles to ask Millie for help.
She discovered that she was alive, living here.
So I came to find her.
Why didn't you tell me?
It was stupid. I ****ed up.
I'm sorry, it's just I-I...
I wanted to make sure that it was real.
I-I'm-I'm sorry. I-I-I screwed up.
I know I'm never going to fill the void
that your grandmother left, but...
if you let me live in it with you,
it won't feel as big.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. Okay?
Well, I want to meet her.
- You want to meet her? - Yeah.
- No. - What?
No, I don't think... She's...
- What? - Weird.
I mean, being weird is sort of part
of being a great-aunt, innit?
Uh...
- Lunch today. - Today?
- Yeah. - I don't even think that's possible to...
- Not a question, love. - Lunch sounds nice.
Hmm.
You think I don't know the cost it takes
to lie to those you've loved for years?
I was the one who lied to Ruth.
Knowing what I knew, keeping it from her.
So don't you dare woe poetic when it was me
who carried the weight for you, Ima.
We all have a right to our own pasts, Rebecca.
I do to mine, as you do to yours.
I've found him.
It's him.
It's not.
It is.
- It's not. - It is.
What did I tell you the first day we met?
I promised you I would find him.
It took a while.
But I always deliver
on my promises.
Thank you, Ima.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you...
You should go.
Georges and the others will be gone most of the day.
This might be the only chance you ever have.
Thank you.
I am not that man. You are not a Christian.
You are.
- I won't. - You will.
You are not a woman of God.
I am not that man.
Hello.
Hello?
Danny?
Millie.
Millie, where the **** have you been?
I had to get out of L.A. for a couple days.
Millie, listen...
Listen, um...
You write in your book...
that, uh, Agent Melanie, uh...
whatever the ****...
she can do no wrong, and that if she does it,
it isn't wrong.
Do you believe that?
The Feds called me, Millie, they're looking for you.
What did you do?
You okay?
Yup.
- Where are you going? - Just out of the city
for a bit to retrieve
some of Klaus Rhinehart's investment papers.
- Nothing exciting. - Okay, I'll go with you.
Look, I can't stay here all day. I'll go crazy.
Come on, then.
There are two Nazi sympathizers
living in this town.
If the Crow was coming here to see Hitler,
I bet these two are the gatekeepers.
They own an antique store.
The two of you will pose as newlyweds,
and I will be your interior designer.
Why couldn't you play my husband?
An audience would never believe
such a beautiful woman being married to this...
gorgeous, gorgeous man.
I love antiquing.
You ever been to the Berkshires?
There's this tiny place in Lenox...
Oh, my God, like, the cutest lamps.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm golden. Peachy.
Teflon. Teflon.
Teflonny Flash.
Baby, come on.
You're ****ing high?
Just a little pick-me-up for the time change.
Again, Lonny?
Okay, **** you.
Again?
You could've ****ed all of this up.
Put us all in danger.
When did you even start with this shit?
Do you know what I am putting on the line to be here?
What I am risking? Why'd you even ****ing come
to Argentina?!
Because of you, huh.
Because you were coming!
And I started with this shit
when you left, okay?!
Okay?!
Lonny!
And how can you be sure it was him that you saw?
That it was this Mr...
Von Staub.
Because,
Mr. Attorney General,
my eyes can't forget
the face of a man who murdered children.
- Ms. Apfelbaum... - Ms. Apfelbaum. I know.
We've been to other offices
just like this one, all high-ranking officials,
and they all say the same thing.
Well, I don't need to hear
another patronizing rejection
from a man so busy,
he has no time to investigate
crimes against the Jews.
She's a feisty one.
Yes, she always has been.
Look, Louie, I'm sorry about her,
but thank you for your time.
I'll look into it.
What?
I'll investigate it.
What? Oh, no, that's all right, really.
I'll put my team on it.
Don't. Uh...
She's an old woman. She's got a lot of pain
and confusion, and, uh,
I don't believe that there's much truth
in what she says.
I don't want to waste your time,
but she's a friend,
so I-I-I just wanted her to feel heard.
I understand.
Thank you, Louis.
I was so sure
that your friends, that your connections, that...
- Uh-huh. - ...the senators,
the congressmen, the attorney general...
Nothing, we got nothing.
No one believes us.
Never again, we said, never again.
I am not going to stop.
You're not gonna let this go, are you?
I can't. Can you?
What if we did it ourselves?
We get a team,
and we do it ourselves.
This is the girl you're going to marry?
One who travels halfway
across the world because she read a name
on a ****ing telephone pad?
She's clearly unhinged.
What?
She's actually brilliant,
and if I call off our plans,
she's gonna grow suspicious.
She's gonna find out what we're up to.
So, lunch, the three of us.
What? You think I'm happy about this?
I asked Mindy to pretend to be you,
but she's recuperating in bed,
watching Argentinian soap operas.
You like this girl?
I love this girl. She's gonna be my wife.
Then I'm not breaking bread with her.
If you love this girl, you will tell her that you lied
about your great-aunt
and that you're actually here
with another girl, having a fling,
and that you're calling off the wedding.
Boom. Done. Over.
She's going to be my family, Chava.
She's gonna be yours.
She's coming over for lunch, and then
she's gonna fly home and not suspect a thing,
and then we'll find Hitler and we'll kill him,
and then I hang it up.
I fly back to Paris, marry Clara,
grow old, boring, and happy together.
And that's what happens.
That's what happens for me.
No. That's what happens for Sam.
It's not what happens for you.
You knew about me even after she died,
and you still never reached out.
This is the least that you can do.
I'll make chicken.
I'll make a reservation.
That's not how she meets family.
I'm making chicken.
Chicken it is.
What are we gonna do, Biz?
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're gonna feed 'em some bullets on Mars.
Cut.
Very nice. Okay, we're moving on.
Great take.
All right. I think we got it.
I'm gonna be in my trailer.
I think we got that. That was a great take.
"Bullets on Mars."
The ****? Who the **** are you?
Who the **** are you?
You're a mess.
You belong in an outhouse,
- you schmuck. - I'm calling security.
- Get out of here. - Aah! ****.
What the ****, man?!
I'm security, all right?!
I don't give a **** who you call.
You drink yourself into oblivion.
Set us back a hundred years with all these ****ing stories.
Look at this. Give us a bad name.
You know what they say? They say,
"Oh, there goes the Jew again."
You don't care about anyone but yourself.
Who the **** are you? And how did you ****ing get in here?
You know, your grandfather was just like you.
My grandfather?
Son of a bitch diva.
Chevy Chase of the Yiddish Theater.
But for all his ***-****ery,
he was a great actor.
W-Wait-wait, you...
- you knew my grandfather? - Not personally, no, but...
But you know about him?
Well, my-my-my father rarely spoke about him.
Well, your grandfather was
imprisoned in the camps.
And every Shabbos,
late at night,
your grandfather would perform.
All the greats.
Sholem Aleichem, Brecht, Shakespeare.
"Hath not a Jew eyes?
Hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses?
If you prick us,
do we not bleed?"
The guards discovered him, of course.
They shot him twice. Dead.
But every Shabbos
he freed those men in that cell block.
Transporting them to worlds far away.
Bullets on Mars 2?
The **** is... What the **** is this?
You once did Hamlet.
You played in Othello.
"Greatest young actor of our time."
What happened?
I don't know.
I don't know, it just, uh...
it just happened.
You are Fyvel Flazenstein's grandchild.
You're made of the same stuff as he is.
Believe me, I see him in you.
And I see you, Leonard.
I do, I see you.
I'm here with an opportunity
for you,
greater than any role you could ever play.
Can I sit?
You do what you want with your life, Lonny,
but if you want to do this, you need to be sober.
For our lives
and for hers.
I was in hell.
Well, we don't believe in hell, which is awesome, but
I was in our version of hell.
Last time I was using,
every minute of every day,
high off my tuchus.
Snorting, sniffing,
tasting, smacking, downing, sucking
everything and everyone, so that I wouldn't
see my face,
so that I couldn't remember my name,
so I didn't know I was alone.
So then, one day,
this old man comes to my trailer
and he starts telling me a story about my grandfather.
About what a hero he was.
And how I'm made of him.
And how I could be just like him.
So I took the dagger
and I joined a family.
And I really felt that I...
...was somebody, you know?
That I... existed.
And the funny thing is...
...it was all a lie.
He didn't know my grandfather.
And I realize now,
he didn't know me.
I watched them all.
Your films.
And you are a terrible actor.
Not the roles
in your films.
But this role, Lonny Flash.
Because your greatest
role is the one
you've been born to play.
Leonard Flazenstein.
You.
And I think she would agree.
That is the role she would love.
The one role Roxy could love you as, too.
The real you.
God, you are really good-looking.
I-I really... I find it annoying.
We should go find the Stammers.
- Mm, Lonny. - What?
Chava sent the three of us for a reason.
You need me.
When we get there,
I'll need you to stay in the car.
So, where are we going, Harriet?
I know it's not simply to round up some files.
I'm going to find a man.
A man I've been looking for for a very long time.
O come ♪
All ye faithful ♪
Joyful and triumphant ♪
O come ye, O come ye ♪
To Bethlehem ♪
Come and behold ♪
Him ♪
Born the King of Angels... ♪
Do they know any Kool the Gang?
Adore him, O come... ♪
Meyer Offerman.
Adore him... ♪
Mother Superior gusted my wind
in your direction.
She said the orphanage needed a new roof,
new boiler, 20 new beds.
And I happen to be in the market
for making a sizable
donation.
Oh.
That is quite charitable
of you, Mr...
- Offerman. Yeah. - Offerman. Thank you.
But if I may,
what interest does a bloke like you
have in donating to the Church?
A bloke like me?
What, you mean a Jew?
Well, what business does a woman like you have
donating herself to the Church, hmm?
I'm sorry?
What? Your father was Jewish.
Oh, Jesus was a Jew, yes.
Not Jesus, Harriet.
Your father, Rebecca.
Your father.
Hiram Kreutzer.
You can still hear it, can't you?
The screams of the steam engine
as-as your father hands you off to a woman
through the train window.
Perhaps he told you you were just going on a holiday.
How long until you understood
why your father did this?
Now listen closely, you wrinkled old prat.
If you think I would hesitate to cut your
proliferous head off your mother****ing neck
in front of these dear, dear, little angels,
you are sorely mistaken.
Thank you.
This is precisely why I'm here.
I read your file. Oxford. MI6.
My colleagues and I are putting together a team
to bring fugitive Nazi scum
to their bloody end.
Never.
Sorry?
You asked
when I finally knew what my father had done for me,
and the answer is never because I should have died with him.
I would have sooner died with him
if it meant even one more day in his arms.
So, thank you, Mr. Offerman. I'm sorry you came all this way.
If you wish to repay your fare,
to avenge your father's death,
you're not gonna find that
with pageants and charity.
You must join this cause.
It's the only way.
Your father only put you on that train
so that one day
you could get off.
Don't be nervous.
I'm not nervous. I'm Jewish.
This is what we look like all the time.
Hello?
- Hello? - Shalom, shalom.
My darling nephew. [gasps] Oh,
my goodness, you must be...
Clara.
It's so lovely to meet you.
Hmm, hmm.
Look at you.
I can hardly see your shyna punim
behind all those flowers.
So thoughtful.
Come in, come in.
That's their hotel.
This is delicious. Thank you.
It's an old recipe.
I'm sure you've never had it before.
It's a Jewish staple.
Sam's great-great-grandmother's recipe.
One's history is everything.
So, Chava, uh, why South America?
Hmm...
Well, I-I-I lived in London for a time.
And I moved down here about ten years ago for work.
There was a particular account
I was pursuing many years now.
How wonderful.
And did you land the account?
Mm. Not yet,
- but I love the chase. - You know, Clara...
...is studying
neuropsychiatry at the Sorbonne.
She's actually up for
a big position at a top research clinic.
Wow.
Neuropsychiatry.
- What do your parents do, dear? - Oh,
they're art collectors in London. They-they have a gallery
down on Savile Row.
Art collectors.
Hmm. It's a nice
pastime for rich people,
isn't it?
Collecting.
Taking something that doesn't...
doesn't quite belong to you
but claiming it as your own.
So...
when is the big day?
October 10th in Paris.
October?
I'll be losing you so soon... Sam.
But you'll be gaining me.
So, it will be a Jewish wedding?
You know, I still have your great-grandfather's tallit.
Not gonna be wearing a tallit.
Why not?
Because
you marry a shiksa,
you're going to erase who you are?
What your
ancestors fought for?
Died for?
Your safta must be rolling over in her grave.
If Sam wants a Jewish wedding,
I would love to honor that.
The past year and a half,
I've learned how to bake challah,
I've sung Dayenu, I-I've held two seders,
I've spun dreidels, I've listened
to the shofar's blow and the minyan chants
and Lenny Bruce's "I Am Not A Nut, Elect Me."
I don't ever want
Sam to erase who he is.
I fell in love with him for who he is,
and that includes his Jewishness.
I don't know what
you thought I'd be,
but I love him, Chava,
with all my heart.
And...
he loves me with all of his.
He is the kindest,
gentlest,
most loyal person
I know.
I had a love once.
One that I would make a silly speech like that for.
His name was Zev.
We met after the war.
We're both in the same line of-of work.
We fell in love.
We were together for 20 years, but then one of us
put the other before the work.
And the other...
Well...
she believes
that the work
is the most important thing of all.
Zev sounds like a lucky man...
to have been able to love you
for as long as he did.
Perhaps we should have some more wine.
I think we've, uh, had enough wine, right?
No, I'll... I'll join you,
but could this shiksa
use the loo first?
Of course, dear. It's just down that long hall.
She's too good for you.
Good morning, I'm here to see...
...my father.
It's been a long time.
Are you here for my confession?
No.
No, I'm here for mine. Would that be all right?
I...
When I was a little girl,
my father...
he placed me on a train,
a train that was supposed to take me to a safe haven,
and he promised me, my father,
that one day he would return for me
and I would be back in his arms again.
And I'm here.
I've traveled all this way, traveled all this time,
because my father lied.
He promised me
he would see me again one day,
and I'm here
to ask you why.
I'm here to ask you why he lied.
Because only you know.
Only you can know.
Only you have the answer
because you are the answer.
Because you turned
that promise into a lie
when you shot my father dead at Bergen-Belsen,
July 2, 1943. Isn't that right,
Herr Müntz?
I am sorry to you.
I'm sorry to you.
Hi.
How could I help you?
Hola.
My name is Antonio Costa.
These are my clients, Kate and Hamish Hughes.
They have just purchased a vacation home nearby...
...and are looking to furnish it.
I'm afraid we are closing early today.
We'll look around quickly.
May I use your washroom? It was quite a long trip.
It's in back.
Careful with that.
Relax.
Don't.
What is this?
- We don't know. - It's not Hitler
that they're harboring.
It's Josef ****ing Mengele.
The Angel of Death.
Where is he? Hmm?
Where is Mengele?
- He's not here. - Gitta.
Speak up. Where is he now?
Dead.
Bullshit.
Three months ago,
he went on vacation and...
he got a stroke while he was swimming
and he drowned.
We didn't know who he was for a long time. Honest.
It wasn't until a few years ago that we discovered his identity.
When he died, we went to the papers.
We tried to sell the story.
Yeah, and then we got a call from an old lady.
She promised to get on a train and bring us $2 million
to keep quiet.
The Crow.
And with all that money...
we'd never have to work again.
It's the horseradish that makes it.
If anyone ever tells you they don't like horseradish,
you run in the other direction.
What are the cages for?
I'm a part-time illusionist, dear.
Didn't Sam tell you?
Aunt Chava's an artist.
A performance artist.
There are surveillance photos
and maps and names of SS officers
and knives and guns.
Yes.
We hunt Nazis.
She's joking.
- She's-she's joking. - I'm not joking.
That is precisely what we do.
We hunt Nazis
and we rid them from this Earth.
If Clara is to be family,
she has a right to know what the family business is, Jonah.
His name is Jonah, as in "and the whale."
Jonah Heidelbaum.
Not sure where Sam Rabinow came from,
- but it has a certain ring. - Clara.
Clara, don't...
Clara!
It's better this way.
Hey. I got something.
Ah, nothing but dreck.
Murrayleh...
They think I am incapable.
Old.
You know how I know I'm not old?
Because I was supposed to grow old
with you.
Hello?
Momentito, momentito.
Hola.
Oh, gracias.
Come on, come on.
For ****'s sake.
**** off.
Jesus Christ.
Let me explain.
- Just give me a minute, I'll explain everything. - No. No, why?
Why-why should I listen to you, Jonah?
Everything you've ever said is a lie.
You want to know the truth?
Yeah.
Three years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night
to see a man murder my grandmother.
She bled out in my arms. I found out later that she died because
she spent the last year hunting Nazi war criminals.
This five-foot-nothing, little old lady was killed
by the very Nazi she was hunting, so I...
took her place after she died.
I found the man who killed her and then I found dozens more.
Why the late nights,
why the screams in my sleep,
the-the name change, it's because of this.
It's because it never ends, and I'm out here trying to end it,
once and for all, so I can have a life with you,
- with the woman that I love. - No.
- Down! Down! - What the ****?
- Jonah. - Listen, when I say go to the bathroom, all right,
- you're gonna go. Go, go, go! - What the ****?
- Jonah! - Hide and don't come out.
Jonah.
Come on out, Jonah.
Jonah.
Hey, Jonah.
Jonah.
Jonah!
Jonah.
Jonah!
Come and get me!
Move! Move! Get out of the way.
Move!
Look, I'm sorry about before.
I think the... I think the problem might be that I'm...
You know, I'm still in love with you.
Wait until you're sober.
Look, I can clean my shit up. You know I can do that.
- We are just not a good fit. - How can you say that?
Because I can't take care of you anymore.
It is a full-time job,
and I have a child already, Lonny.
And I don't have any more to give.
Joe.
Joe. Joe.
Policía. Policía.
No! Let me go!
- Let me go! - Clara!
Clara!
Sam!