Okay. Yeah. Everything...
Everything seems nailed down for tomorrow.
How you feeling?
Why does everyone ask how I'm feeling?
I'm sellin'. My decision. I'm feeling great.
And yes, yes. Axe that chopper.
- They can ****ing walk. - Right. Absolutely.
- Office? - Uh, ATN.
Oh.
Surprise visit?
Happy Christmas, you clock-watching ****s.
But where they are, not to a significant degree.
Well, that may be true,
but NATO has a cultural weight...
So many olds.
Where are the hotties?
Yeah, I mean this needs the living shit kicked out of it.
A show about politics called Inside Baseball.
- What? - Yeah. How ****in' confusing is that?
- They have that? - Mm.
Connor.
"Have we left yet?" Eyeballs emoji.
Fingers crossed emoji and helicopter emoji.
- We're coming. - This is unbelievable.
Our PGN is just gonna crush this.
Mm-hmm. Not quite yours yet.
Business retreat, Telly. PGN brainstorm.
Sunday, Monday programming. Dookie.
Tuesday, Wednesday programming. Dookie.
Friday, Saturday programming. Massive stinky dog dookie.
I gotta say, the upside is huge if we just broaden out
and stop over-indexing to college professors.
Mm-hmm. Right?
Sorry, I just can't seem to tear my eyes away
from the bald man talking about NATO.
- I have a boner... - So, my floaty, kinda
semi-pitch would be hardcore international news
from global-global to hyperlocal.
Jess, would you watch that?
Uh... uh, yeah... Uh, if it was on, totally.
Like, maybe a focus on Africa?
Every day, just what is happening in Africa?
The Maghreb. Sub-Saharan East, Sub-Saharan West.
I would watch that shit.
You would not watch that shit.
- I would. - No, I mean, that... that sounds like
Homework: The Show.
No, the point is it's global reach. -
It's a network that teaches you how to watch it.
- Or, shove all your... - Or?
Oh. - ...foreign report melatonin news hour
- info dumps in the daytime... - Yeah.
Primetime, we go full Clockwork Orange, you know?
- Hey. - Yeah.
So, unfortunately, Gretchen Yung is conflicted out.
Oh!
Really? With Tom? He went with Gretchen?
Okay, uh, who's in... Who's in second position?
Crowley.
Okay. Uh, yeah, fine.
I contacted his office. He's also conflicted out.
Uh, and Kohlmayer, uh...
and Bulloch and, uh, and Camden?
Yeah. Yeah. Conflicted out. It's weird.
Okay, great. I'll call you back.
Okay, so, have we tied up all five now?
- Yep. - And they're all the ones
- that Mr. Roy's office gave us? - Yep.
Oh, God.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. So, uh, so Logan's in.
Logan's in?
What, upstairs? In the sales meeting?
- No, he's on the floor, Tom. - He's on the floor?
Wait, explain to me exactly what he's doing
with his body and his face.
I don't know.
He's just moseying. Terrifyingly moseying.
He's wearing sunglasses inside.
It looks like if... if Santa Claus was a hitman.
Okay. Okay, okay. Hold on. Hold steady. I'm coming in.
Okay, Sergio, halt the car. Halt the car.
Okay, cancel the rest of my afternoon.
- Hey. - Hey, Tom.
So, all the top attorneys are conflicted out. Yeah?
Dad teach you that? It's a ****ing nice move.
Wow, does he wanna marry you now?
Um, I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Oh, yeah, okay. So, you've met with or retained
every usable divorce lawyer in New York
just to **** with me. Hmm?
I don't know, Shiv. I think maybe Sara made a mistake.
You think I don't recognize my own dad's playbook?
- **** you, Tom! - Shiv,
I... I did not intend for this to be aggressive,
but I've seen what your family can do
in these situations and I want it to be amicable.
I'm sure we can figure it out.
Yeah, okay.
You wanna be my dad's little ***** boy?
Why don't you deliver him a message, ***** boy?
Tell him to **** off and stay out of my life.
Okay, so what's happening? What's happening?
Okay, so he's still just kinda walking around,
but with a slight sense that he might kill someone.
It's like Jaws.
If... if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.
Yeah.
- So, he did one big shout. - Right.
He does not like
the countdown-to-election chyrons,
he hates the new font, it's too small.
It's too ingratiating. It's a really bad vibe.
What... what is this, do you think?
I don't know. Maybe he just wants to play your *** tape
on Late Night, Greg.
No, the future starts now, Greg.
You know, once... once the board rubber-stamps,
and once the regulators nod the deal through,
three, four months, Waystar is gone.
This will be home.
- So, he's gonna be here all the time? in person? - Yeah. Yep. Yep.
Hanging around like the threat of nuclear war.
- Here we go. - Go get him.
Hey, hey. Hey, sir, Mr. Boss Man.
Uh...
One email.
****ing Stakhanovites in here.
Please, don't exhaust yourself.
What do you think of the, uh, election refit?
Oh, yeah, pretty ****ing penny. It's an aircraft hangar.
What's the air-con bill?
Well, yeah, Cyd really loves the sense of space.
It's certainly interesting.
Where is she?
Cyd? Oh, she doesn't tend to stay late
when it's opera season. Oh. Hey, Cyd.
Oh, boss. I didn't see you. I was busy.
But I can see that my social secretary's
- been looking after you. - Have you watched the tape?
- Tom? - Hmm?
Kerry's tape. Have you watched it?
What do you think?
Of Kerry?
What do I think of her audition to be an anchor?
Yes.
Well, did you... What... what do you think, Logan?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You go first.
Well, I think... I think I liked it.
- I mean, she's got something. - Oh, she really does.
Yeah, should we...
You thinking of giving her a slot?
Because I... I personally think
that... that could be a very interesting idea.
- Right? - I'm keeping out.
She's my assistant.
It would be very unprofessional of me to get involved.
Whatever you two geniuses think.
Now, I want to talk to them, a little speech.
Somewhere down here in the middle.
Man of the people.
Good evening, I'm Kerry Castellabate,
- and these are our top stories tonight. - Doing great so far.
You look stupid.
Missouri State poli... police... Missouri State Police
- have issued an AMBER Alert... - Oh, my goodness.
As two children are believed to have been abducted.
They were last seen outside the school gates
waiting for their mother to collect them.
And then sudden smile.
The police are appealing for anyone...
Must act natural to fool the humans.
And a new medical study has found that...
She's doing the shit out of this news.
Can extend your life up to five years while three cups...
Man, Dad was a god. can reduce it by two. Who knows?
Maybe it's time to switch to tea.
But tomorrow, he's selling the empire
to a 4chan Swede
and dishing out jobs for blowies.
- Shiv? - Hey.
Uh, Sandi, hi.
Uh, I hope you don't mind.
I was gonna try and set something,
but I thought I'd just call 'cause it's kind of urgent.
- Hope that's okay. - Um, uh,
yeah, no, of course. Um, what's up?
Is it about Connor's wedding?
Because that was such a regretful no.
Oh! No. No, no, no. This is completely different.
It's, uh, just about our chat and your pitch.
You know, I was just, well, thinking
maybe I was a little hasty.
- Uh-huh! - Yeah.
And do your siblings feel the same or still no?
Well, no, I haven't had a chance
to talk to them about it yet, but I'm gonna bounce it around,
see if I can't persuade them, because, you know,
I agree there's a... There's a lot of upside there
to get a little more money.
Well, I mean, obviously, I agree,
but, uh, the board meeting is tomorrow, Shiv.
Uh, well, look, can I just...
Can I put you on alert,
just in case there is room for a discussion there?
And... and just to say that this is a live issue for me.
You know, maybe...
Maybe we don't just wave this through. Maybe...
Maybe it pisses off my dad,
but maybe that's okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah. Absolutely.
Maybe we can circle back. Is that okay, Sandi?
And the USA Today...
- Oh! Again, again, again. - It's so good. It's so good.
Oh, what! Kinky!
- One more. - Roll it through again.
- Again. - One more.
Go press the button.
- Good evening, I'm Kerry Castellabate... - Una más.
If he puts this on air, this is, like, easily packaged
- as symptomatic of total loss of judgement and control. - Yeah.
Um, guys, they're actually...
Yeah, I know...
Transpo's on the tarmac.
It's waiting to take you to Connor's rehearsal.
He's texting me.
- Oh, he is? Yep. - This is... this is special.
I... I'd prefer something a little more stable.
Yeah. Uh, no, there's no need for a song and dance.
Let's keep it cheap and cheerful.
- Tom? - Yeah?
Will you, uh, do a little intro for me?
- Sprinkle a little sugar? - Up... up there?
- Yeah. - Of course.
- On the... Yeah, sure. - Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Hey, guys. Hey. Hi.
Just want to say hi. Um, come on over.
Yeah, it's been a tough few weeks.
Election coming into view, um...
Yeah, I appreciate you all and Cyd, my partner in crime.
And, uh, from my POV, you know,
keep cranking 'cause we're doing great.
Up three percent in the demo week over week.
Woo-hoo.
But, you know, we can do more, uh,
up 15 percent, uh, year over year.
And, uh...
Just... It's great work. And, uh, Just w... Real pleasure
to have the big man here to give us some, uh,
some support. So, sir. Up you come.
Okay. Come on up. Want help? No? Okay.
I could give you a kiss from here.
Good afternoon, everybody. Good afternoon.
Uh, 15 percent up year on year?
Well, it's a shame we're up 40 on costs,
but I guess... I guess it evens itself out in the end.
I mean, does it?
Is 15 equal to 40, pal?
- Uh... - Is 15 equal to 40, pal?
- No. - No! Good!
Good head for numbers!
All right. You're good folks.
You're the best or you wouldn't be in here.
But you've got to knuckle down for me.
Waystar, I can't say too much as yet,
but I'm going to be spending a lot more time in here
with you lot, because I love it in here.
I ****ing love it!
So... I don't wanna know
about three percent week on week,
I wanna know that we're killing the opposition!
I wanna be cutting their throats!
Our rivals should be checking in,
out the back of their chauffeured cars
because they can't believe what we did.
So ****ing spicy, so true.
Something everyone knows but nobody says because...
they're too ****ing lily-livered. Huh?
They cannot believe what we said,
and the fact that we ****ing said it!
They're ****ing jam smears on the highway!
Now...
anyone, anyone who believes that I'm getting out,
please shove the bunting up your ***.
This is not the end.
I'm gonna build something better.
Something faster, lighter, leaner, wilder.
And I'm gonna do it from in here with you lot!
You're ****ing pirates!
All right? All right? Yeah!
Who are you most excited about never having to see again
- once GoJo closes? - Uh, Hugo,
Frank, Karl.
- What about you? - Hey, uh...
- Wait. No, no, no, no, no, no. - What?
- We can't get on. - What?
I don't know. Uh, there's a problem.
- Excuse me. What? - There's a new policy,
- apparently. - What?
I don't know what this is,
but, apparently, I'm not authorized
to let you take off.
- Who is? - The company has just sent word.
- Uh, what? We are the company. - Yeah.
- Our dad is the CEO. - Okay.
- Okay, okay. - Right?
- Yeah. - What?
- What?
It's Dad.
He's ****ing with us.
- Oh. - Right, he knows
- we're out here making moves. - Okay.
His feathers are ruffled.
So, we're just gonna get on
and we're gonna figure it out later, okay?
I'm... I'm... I'm really sorry, I'm not able to let you board.
- It's not authorized. - We have somewhere to be, so we need to be on that chopper
and if we're not,
I'm gonna set aside several hundred thousand dollars
and I'm going to dedicate it to destroying your life.
Is that great? How does that sound?
- I can't speak to that. - There she goes!
- Oh! Oh! Okay, bye-bye. - Where's it going? What is this?
There goes Daddy.
- It's going back to the city. - Buh-bye birdie.
- Oh, wow. There it is. - Oh, man.
Wave bye to Daddy.
The **** is this? Well, we're gonna be late now.
Connor's gonna shit.
It's gonna be a guilt trip to the ****ing moon.
God dammit.
In Buddhism, sometimes your greatest tormentor
can also be, uh, your most perceptive teacher.
That's... that's really wise.
Um, hey, Buddha.
- Nice Tom Fords. - Uh, oh!
- Okay, this is interesting. - Is it Con?
No, it's, um...
- Where's the car? - It's, uh, Sandi and Stewy,
they wanna... they wanna meet. Call or meet.
They'd prefer the meet.
They're asking if we're gonna be back in the city...
- in the next one to two. - I mean, tonight?
No, it's about the board shit, right?
Like Stewy says that Sandi thinks
there's more juice to squeeze from the Swede
so they're just flying that again.
- It's bullshit. - Yeah.
It's bullshit, Shiv. We've moved on.
- I agree with this... - Hey! Where's the car?
- ****in' hippie. - Hey, where are they?
- They just left. - Yeah, they're... I...
- He's just like... - Get a car!
I'm trying, I'm trying.
Nothing from the board. I don't like this silence.
Give 'em one last buzz round.
Kerry, get Frank and Karl on to the independents.
Let's triple lock this down.
As severe thunderstorms are expected...
to hit Pennsylvania,
- West Virginia, Virginia... - This shit's everywhere.
And the Carolinas today.
- What is she doing? - To end our forecast...
- Hey. - Hi. We finished early, so...
Okay.
- What's going on? - Sorry?
Uh, just some prep for post-board meet,
- the signing of the deal. - Ah.
It seems Matsson would love an actual photo op.
I guess the question is,
is that something you would like?
- Or should we just... - What were you laughing at?
What?
What were you laughing at?
Uh, Gerri was... Um, we were chatting
and she said... something amusing, so...
Okay, okay, let's look at the options.
Um, look, I, uh...
I don't know if I should be seen shaking,
uh, Matsson's hand.
I mean, he's been such a prick about the spin off.
Okay, uh, Karolina, can you do the option deck?
- Well, you're ready to go in. - Uh-huh. But can you do it?
Is your laptop not working?
- Nope. - Well, just give it a go.
It appears to be working, give it a go.
Okay.
See if it... see if it works.
Here.
Um...
Severe storm...
So, here's the deck and it's... We got some great stuff here.
Uh-huh.
- So, um, should we get into it? - Look, I don't wanna be
seen like some piece of ****ing set dressing, okay?
I mean, the only thing is,
everyone's saying the timing, the deal you've done,
don't you want your moment in the sun?
Oh, you working for Matsson already?
I'm still here, you know? I haven't gone. Huh?
You getting your Viking hat on early? Huh?
- No. - Nah.
Nah, this is bullshit.
Hugo, I think we might need someone
to go and suck off an independent director.
I'm concerned about the board. Put your ****ing lipstick on.
Okay.
Is it worse to go up now?
I mean, I'd love to not go, but I think we kinda have
to drink at least a couple of Martini Passive Agressos just to make up, right?
Oh, you guys want a taxicab ride?
- Taxicab? Come on, come on. - Okay, what the ****?
Flat rate. I'll give you good price.
- Good price, good price. - Okay, what is this?
- We're kinda pushed. - Yeah. Come on, man,
is this a ****ing ambush? Hi.
No. We just wanted to do five in person.
- Right, Sandi? - Yeah,
we have a suite booked across the way.
Well, guys, it's not exactly convenient.
We're prepared to vote no on the GoJo deal
at the Waystar board meeting tomorrow.
We think there's more money to be squeezed from the Swede,
and we think you're rushing this for emotional reasons.
Hmm. Well, I don't think so. Okay, see you.
The premiums look weak on market comparables, you know it.
- Look at last week, Ro. - It's a different deal,
- it's not relevant. - Oh, come on, Ken.
We want our dad to ask for more, but he stopped engaging.
- He's palmed us off with Karl. - He does that.
He can get the deal through without us,
but if we can get you guys on our side,
we can force him back into the ring
for one last round.
Okay, so I guess, like, board pushes back on price.
- What's the big deal? - What's the big deal?
- Okay. - Well, we'd have to weigh that
against the risk of blowing everything up.
I think our position might be that
we're just done corn-holing our dad.
But we... we just feel like your old man got hot for this.
Can't we cool him off?
Listen, listen. There's money for all of us
if we ask nicely. We push too hard, danger, danger,
but, yeah, it's there. You know, it's there.
My dad is clear. He wants to vote no.
- Yes. - Us, plus you guys, that's it.
He's outvoted. This doesn't get through the board.
Send it back to the table.
- It doesn't need to go nuclear. - No. What...
Okay, it's not a big deal, let's just...
We'll think about it. Yeah.
Okay, well, the board meeting's tomorrow.
So, we need to know in the next hour or two.
- Okay. Sure. - 'Kay?
So, it's either we vote yes tomorrow
and we all make billions of dollars,
or we sign up for your cool shit
and then Dad disinherits us entirely.
That sounds like a toughie.
We'll think about it. Thanks. Bye.
- Yeah. We gotta go. - Ken.
- We're done. - Ken!
- I'll keep working. - Yeah. And I'll call Ken.
- Oh, hey. - Hey.
So, you're here now, huh?
Yeah. No, sorry. Um. What, are you leaving or...
You okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm just, um...
I'm just going for a little drink.
Oh, it's over? Is it done?
- The... the rehearsal? - Yeah.
Um, no, no, but I...
I think they can take it from hereon.
Not vital from here, so...
Yeah, I mean, the bride is normally...
I guess, is generally considered one of the first team...
in the old wedding, you know?
Yeah, right. Yeah, I should go.
You know, and, um, have a think. I'm in a bit of a fuzz.
Everything feels very vivid today, doesn't it?
You okay?
- What... what's... - Uh-huh. Yeah. Fine.
- What's going on? - Oh. Hm.
You can't be jumping for joy the whole time, right?
No, I guess.
Yeah, look... I should, um... I should go.
- Yeah. Okay. - Yeah, bye.
Okay, bye. Uh, wow.
Fairy-tale wedding.
There goes the bride.
- I have enough cash. - She is...
- I'll take her. - I mean, do we even go up?
- It seems like it's over, so... - Uh, well, I mean, yeah.
- I think we should. - What do you mean?
- Yeah. Of course. - What do you mean? Yeah. No.
No, we're gonna... We... we have a lot to discuss.
Oh, what? The ****-y bullshit? No, come on.
Roman, look, a few weeks' pain could really set us up.
And I think we over-promised
- on Pierce and... - Mm-hm. Just... It's a...
I just wanna...
- Sandi mind game. - We're gonna go. Come on.
**** 'em. **** those guys.
Sure.
- Finally. - Found him.
- Finally... - Hey, hey.
- Here they are. - Hey.
- Hello, sir. Hugsie. - We're so sorry, man.
Aw, thank you.
Yeah, Dad screwed us. Hey, bro.
Oh, look at you. The Rebel Alliance.
Mm-hmm. How is it out in those hills?
Supply lines okay? Got enough to eat?
This is how it is, huh?
The battle royale. Me and Dad on one side,
you guys on the other?
You... you okay, man? We bumped into Willa
on the way in.
Yeah, I think it's all fine.
Yeah.
Willa stood up to do her speech and she said...
"I can't do this."
And she went to the bathroom for 40 minutes
with her so-called friends.
Jesus. Oh, no, no, no. No, that is not... You're fine.
That's totally fine. Don't worry about that.
Just toss her another ten grand,
or a snowmobile and some teeth whitening vouchers.
Any luck, Sylvia?
Willa's mom.
It's fine, Con.
- Okay, so... - This is so ****ing weird.
Do we regroup at my place?
Shiv. He's... Come on, he's looking a little rough,
- don't you think? - Well, sure.
I'm sorry that Dad ****ed us, and I'm sorry that we're late,
but we do need to decide fast, so...
- Well, I think we know, right? - Do we, though?
- Yeah. - They made some
- pretty compelling arguments. - Sandi's a greedy little *****.
She's got her hand up the *** of the carcass of her dad,
and Stewy's just come along for the ride. It's a...
**** it. It's a packet of horseshit.
Okay. What if I want to talk it through?
I just think... I think we rise above it, Shiv. Right?
- No... Maybe... - But?
Dad is not on it like he used to be,
and maybe he's underplayed his hand
and the board are all a hand-****ing-picked
bunch of Japanese plastic cats just waving it through.
Okay. Still incommunicado.
I just really hope she's okay. So, what do you say?
Little bit of karaoke?
Uh, or would it be possible to do anything other than that
- in the entire universe? - She's partying, I can party.
I mean, we can go drink, right?
Little bachelor party for POTUS-SCROTUS.
Uh, well, I mean, we three kind of...
- Oh, sure. Everybody's busy. - We've got a...
Come on, let's give him a drink, sis.
- Yeah. - Let's give him a drink.
- Yeah, but not... but not... - Let's get him a drink.
Your usual stupid places. Uh, somewhere fun and real.
Away from the fancy dance. A real bar with chicks.
And guys who work with their hands and grease,
and sweat from their hands
and have blood in their hair.
I don't like these guys.
They sound like a medical experiment gone wrong.
I don't know, he just said it's a big ****ing problem.
Well, why the kitchen? Should we hide the knives?
I don't know, he just said...
- Hey, Loge. Hey, what's up? - Hey.
Is all this pizza?
Uh-huh. Hmm.
Why am I looking at all this pizza, huh?
It's killing me.
This is... It's out of control, Tom.
- Right. - They send out for fresh pies,
and there are two or three here already that are perfectly good.
All you have to do is put them in the ****ing microwave.
- Right. - Right. Noted.
I guess, just to say, it does tend to,
uh, it loses a s... There's a sog factor...
Greg, **** off.
Okay.
Uh, it's not the pizza.
I've been thinking about Kerry.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, very excited. I mean, let's get into it.
She's a... she's a natural. She's got "it."
Is she the finished article?
Well, finished article, no.
- But you wouldn't expect her to be. - No.
No. She needs a little... Needs a little time.
Uh-huh.
Maybe, maybe quite a bit of time.
Interesting.
Yeah. She's, uh... She's raw.
And I think, um, maybe we should think about
starting her way... under the radar.
And, uh, you know, she has a lot to learn.
A lot.
And I think... I think it can be damaging
to put talent out there too early.
Smart.
Now, that's smart.
Yeah. Okay, sure. No problem.
I'm not involved. I'm nowhere near this.
- I know nothing. - Sure. Understood.
- Ah! America... - This is charming.
I missed you.
Okay, what's everybody having?
- Oh. Uh... - What do you want?
Uh, do you think they know how to make a vodka tonic?
- House red? Do I dare? - Yes.
- What? No, no, no. - That. Get that.
Just a club soda with a sealed lid.
Uh, nothing from that tainted nozzle.
Con, what do you want?
I'll just have whatever a regular Joe would have.
Just, uh, Belgian Weissbier. Not Hoegaarden, ideally.
- Hey, have you seen this? - Hmm?
- From "Heard on the Street"... - Mm-hm.
About what the Waystar price will come out at?
- Mm-hm. - Sandi shared, so I...
Hey, can I get, um, a vodka tonic,
I'll have a bitters and soda...
You still, uh, with us, Con?
Oh, sure. Just Willa. I have her location shared.
I just think it's a factory setting.
It's not.
Yeah, well anyway, I'm reassured.
She's definitely not on her way to Cuba.
- Well, her phone isn't. - Yeah, she's stopped moving.
I guess she found a spot she likes.
- Sure. - On another man's dick.
On a much bigger,
nicer, harder, younger dick is all I'm saying.
- Can we not? Can we not, d... - Okay. Sorry. I know.
Dude. You know, 'cause I'm feeling...
- I'm... I'm having certain anxieties, huh? - Okay, sorry. Mm-hmm.
I mean, I... I wanna have a good time.
- Okay all right. - Let's have fun.
We can monitor her dot together.
- She's... What? - Let's get it up
- on the big screen. - Why so long at the...
Her dot is at a aquarium supply retailer.
That doesn't make sense. Is that a drug thing?
- I love him. - No.
You sure?
I am sure.
It is. It's a drug thing.
- Sorry. - Now, she's at a dry cleaner's.
She's, uh, probably getting her panties cleaned.
- Mussed 'em up a bit. That's really tough. - I'll be right back.
- What's wrong with you? - Drinks are right here.
I'm not saying it's your cum.
- No, stop. - Your cum, I'm sure, is very...
- Stop. Stop. - Washable. Okay.
Yo, Lukas. What's up, brother?
'Sup?
I can't ****ing sleep.
- You sleep good? - Uh...
Honestly, not really. No.
Well, I've never met anyone I respect who sleeps good.
Tell me about it. One eye open, bro. One eye open.
Yeah. And secondly, my... my team says
I shouldn't be talking to you about this,
but, whatever.
Well, I've been... I've been hearing that, uh,
the activists hustling on the price
are trying to get you to join their little, uh,
scheisse party. Is that true?
Uh-huh. Well, I can't, uh...
I can't give you a play-by-play, but...
Well, I... I know that you tried to screw this deal with your dad
and I know your dad hates you now.
So...
You're out of options, huh?
And I've also been hearing that you've been going around
offering old ladies suitcases full of money.
Well, if you want to have a full suitcase anytime soon,
- you... you don't push me, okay? - Okay, dude.
- You're... He's gonna sell. - I hear you, man.
But if he pushes me again, it won't be to me.
This isn't aggressive.
Like, uh, I've been told that sometimes when...
When I'm direct, it can code aggressive,
but it's not, it's just...
Look, I like you, I like you. I do.
I thought clarity, you know, before any nukes get launched.
Okay?
So, either back off, or I'm gonna walk.
- I got you, loud and clear. - Okay.
- I think that's it, K-Roy. - Yeah. Sweet dreams.
Storm warnings have been issued in parts of the east,
as severe thunderstorms are expected to hit Pennsylvania
and the Cali... Carolinas today.
And our forecast to la...
This is an incredibly delicate piece of diplomacy, Greg.
Okay? It's like Israel-Palestine,
except harder and much more important.
She's not gonna be happy.
Right.
But I think I see a way through.
- What's that? - You tell her.
Yeah, in... interesting.
I mean, I... I don't... I don't like it.
Well, you're a little frustrated?
Yeah.
You wanted next-level tasks, right?
Yeah, but not like
telling our boss' girlfriend she can't be on TV.
Honestly, I think... I think it tracks.
This is what you do, all right?
- You go to her and you say... - Like you say,
"It's really hard,
even being the cousin of this family,
and you've seen what's happened to the kids.
- You know, things get muddled..." - Mm-hmm.
And... and then you tell her she's good, but not too good,
and then you... you... You make sure Logan's out of it
and I'm out of it and you tell her
that the focus group had thoughts.
- Mm, okay. - And then you ask her, you know,
does she even really want it
handed to her on a silver platter?
You know, with all the resentments and accusations?
And then you can make it seem like it's her idea
- to cool things, right? - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay.
- Yeah? Good. - Yeah.
But if she's like,
"**** you, Greg, and I wanna be on TV tomorrow.
- ATN is my home..." - Well, then, if that happens,
just back away to a position of safety
and I will march in and mop up the rage, okay?
All right.
Oh, god dammit.
Well, I'm having fun.
Hey, what's up? What did I miss?
- Hey. - We're eating.
- Yeah? - Right here.
Billy Ray Cyrus's Kentucky Fried Shit Shack.
Well, they seem to have some hearty fare.
- What was that shit? - Uh, Stewy.
- Oh, great. What the **** now? - Yeah.
Well, actually, guys, can I... can I...
Can I show you something?
- Yeah. - Oh, wings!
I wonder from which particular creature they snip these wings.
- It's, um... - Perhaps a mammal.
On the comparables.
It's... it's actually pretty ****ing intriguing.
Okay. Well, it makes you think.
Maybe Dad isn't on it like he used to be.
You know, he's been pushed around by Matsson
and ****ing being pushed around by Kerry.
Giving shows to his girlfriend? That's just...
****, she's in the East River. She's in the ****ing...
- No. - What?
She's on the bridge.
She's headed to, uh, Williamsburg.
Not to be dicks, Con, but is it okay
if we do a little breakout chat,
just the three of us?
- We won't be long. - What?
- Like, two minutes max. - Hey, **** it.
Why don't we fold Con in?
Well, he's not on the board, so...
Yeah, but he has a share, so if the deal...
he loses his payout.
- Excuse me? - Oh, yeah. So, Shiv wants
to get us mixed up in some sort of drug deal
that will **** the vote tomorrow.
Uh, no. A small delay, we all want the deal.
- Okay. - And, look, I think I agree.
- Oh, what the **** now? - Yeah, just...
- Seriously? - It's just
looking at the numbers...
- Yeah. - It's... it's compelling.
- Yes. - It's compelling? Come on.
So, you're gonna force Dad to grovel?
Oh, man. How long will a renegotiation take?
It's a play.
More money is more money and that's all there is to it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh. What the ****?
Uh, Roman...
The **** is Dad messaging you for, Rome?
Uh... uh, I don't know. Ask him.
Stupid question.
- You're not gonna read it? - Mm-mm.
Yeah, I'll read the... I will, yeah.
I'll read it, sure. Um, uh, just a check-in.
Oh, yeah?
- A check-in? - Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're right. Classic Dad.
He always just checks in.
Just wants to see how you're doing.
Okay, I sent him a text on his birthday just saying, "Happy birthday."
- Uh, "Sorry we missed it." - I'm sorry, wait a minute. You texted him initially?
On his birthday. Yeah.
We said no contact until he apologizes.
Okay, well, so then, never?
- You know what? - What?
I think I would like to see your phone.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Show me your phone. World's biggest WhatsApp group
of people sharing pictures of your snatch.
- No, thanks. **** you. No. - Rome? Guys? Rome.
What?
We have to trust each other here.
So then ****ing look. I don't give a shit.
- Great. - It's dick pics anyway.
- He's got a real taste for 'em now. - Great.
It's this right here. Read. Who gives a shit?
Well, this is more than one text.
- It's two, three. It's... - Yeah.
Yeah, it's more than one. Sorry.
- It's a bit warm. - It's warm? Why? What did I say?
- "Take care." - "Take care"?
What am I supposed to say? "Happy birthday.
Hope you fall down a flight of stairs, shithead."
You know what? I feel a little bit weird
about this betrayal.
- The betrayal? - Yeah.
Yes, the... the betrayal of,
"Happy Birthday, Dad. Take care. Roman."
- You know what? - Yeah.
- Betrayal? - I do, too.
Okay, great. ****ing family guilt trip.
European vacation. Let's do it.
It's hard. It's been hard on everybody.
You know that he advised Tom on the divorce?
Gave him a Dad trick.
Went and spoke to every pit bull in Manhattan, tied 'em up.
I got Mommed.
I mean, there's probably one more
horrible mother****er lawyer
somewhere in the United States if you wanna look,
but, um, yeah, that sucks, I'm sorry.
Guys, I feel like we need to stick together.
And we should push back, and you should come with us
and we should put the squeeze on.
Okay, but, we want to do Pierce, right?
- We want to out, right? - Yes.
- Yeah. Yeah, exactly. - Okay.
Just with just a bit more money.
Yes, but I don't think Matsson will go up in price.
He won't. I know this because I have spoken to him.
Oh, well, if that's... If that's what he said,
- then it must be true. Yeah. - Okay, seriously,
- I think he might walk. - Oh, might he?
- Yes. - Yeah, do you think
he could maybe, like, is it a possibility
- he could say a... a not... - Okay.
- Like a thing that isn't, a lie? - Um... Uh...
I mean, why would he say that?
Well, it's Negotiating 101, Rome.
Did they not teach you that in management training?
All right, but he... It sounded like he meant it.
Oh, yeah. That's Negotiating 102.
- Okay. - It's pretty basic.
Look, I know the conflict isn't nice,
- but we overcommitted on Pierce... - Wait, what?
- And this gives the cash... - I don't give a shit
- about conflict. - To make it right.
Like, I will conflict ****ing conflict.
- Yes, you do. Oh, okay, fine. - No, I don't.
Well, it is about Dad feelings for you then.
- Dad feelings? - Yeah.
If anyone here has ****ing Dad feelings,
it's holy shit, poking Satan with the fork.
I'm genuine about us three.
And stop ganging up on me like you're Lennon and McCartney
and I'm ****ing George. I'm John, mother****ers.
Ringo, Yoko.
He's still Connor, but he won having drinks with us at an auction.
Honestly, though.
I think... going with Sandi and Stewy
is... is the best thing for us to do...
Yeah. as a team.
It's just a... it's just a move.
It's a... it's a delay, a couple weeks.
He'll get it. It's what Dad would do in his prime.
Mm-hmm. Exactly.
I guess if it's just a play, then yeah.
****, yeah, I'm in.
God ****ing dammit.
- God ****ing dammit. - Sorry. Sorry.
You ruined it all, you ****ing ruined it all.
- Con, Con, Con. - Sorry.
You ****ed it up.
- What do you wanna do? - What do I want to do?
I wanted to get married tomorrow.
- Well... - I wanted to spend tonight
with my family and tomorrow with my dad
and I wanted to get my ****ing money out.
What else can we do?
I would like to sing one ****ing song at karaoke
because I've seen it in the movies,
and nobody ever wants to go.
Hey, hey, Kerry, um, s... sorry,
can I possibly please, uh, grab you just for five minutes?
- Quickly, please, right now? - Yeah, why not?
You've already grabbed every other woman in Manhattan.
Thank you. Let's... let's just head in here.
Uh...
I just wanted to grab you for a quick moment.
Um, uh, I... I hope I'm not getting above my station here.
Um, but I wanted to talk to you about the whole tape thing.
Oh, I... I'm not sure I wanna talk to you about that.
Oh, yeah. No, fair enough. Then, just as a friend I...
I wanted to give you a heads up on the down-low
on what the murmurs are, and say, you know,
how careful I have had to be
about my particular position as a family member
and say how people chatter so unpleasantly
about accusations of legs-up
- and unfair... - What is this, Greg?
Just...
Are... are you...
rushing things a bit?
And could... Could that, long term,
- actually harm your position... - So, okay, Tom doesn't think
- I'm ready and he's sent you... - No, no, no.
No, no, no, not at all.
Uh, he thinks you're great.
- Um... - Oh.
I mean, there's some little doubts from a focus group
- and they're... - They focus-grouped me?
Yes. But... but the big picture is, what I'm saying.
You know, like, how Kendall and Shiv
- have an entitlement problem? - Okay, I'm sorry.
What did they say, the focus group?
Uh, well, headlines, great...
just maybe not fully there.
And a few criticisms,
- but... but... - Such as?
Uh, minor shit, like, nothing. I mean, may... Great package.
Uh, maybe a little, you know, arm... the arms aren't right,
you know, or they're a little un-TV.
The arms aren't right?
No... Yeah, but... but not a biggie.
No, it's fixable with a few years.
But, uh, no sorry on TV, this is on TV,
and it can happen th... that they shoot weird, the cameras...
So, who was in this focus group, Greg?
Just you?
- No. - Is it Tom?
- No. - Logan?
No.
It... it's a bunch
of grandpas and little twerps and such.
- Can I see it? - No.
- Because? - Because it's private.
- Well, it's not. - You can't.
- What if Logan wants to see it? - It's... I'm sorry,
- it's confidential. - From the CEO?
- Yes. - Okay. If this focus group isn't real,
I'm gonna take you apart like a human string cheese.
Understood.
- I did the job. - I did the job.
Heard from Connor.
Okay?
The kids, Sandi and Stewy, they have the numbers
to force us back to the table.
W... what? What do you do? You want me to call?
You want me to ream 'em out for you?
No. Delicate.
They have some juice here.
They have some ****ing juice.
You should share your ****ing dot with Willa.
Then, she'll see that you're out having fun.
I love karaoke,
it's great. Boo, boo! Your wedding is doomed.
I said maybe
Oh!
- Okay. - Thank you.
So, what happens now?
Uh, well, someone has to humiliate themselves
in the shame palace.
Think they have "Desperado" by The Eagles?
I would imagine they do. Longest night of my life.
Oh, shit.
- What? - She's gone dark.
Why has she gone dark? I mean, is this it?
Is she going off with some buck
- and they're gonna, you know? - Hey, take it easy.
Maybe... maybe her phone just died.
Yeah. Have you ever considered
that she might not be right for you?
This could be good. Yeah?
- Connor? - You'll meet someone else.
You're not doing better than Willa.
I would agree. Do not let go Willa go.
Romulus.
So, Dad's on his way.
- What? - He wants us to meet him
down at the car
- when he gets here. - What the ****?
How does he know we're here?
- How do you know he's coming? - Well, I told him
that it's the night of a thousand wobbles over here
- and he needs to talk to you. - Oh, for ****'s sake, Con.
My life isn't filled with secrets like some people.
I share things.
And I want my father to be at my wedding.
- You mean you want the money? - Well, no, Siobhan,
that was not my primary consideration.
I mean, what do we do? Do we... do we leave? I mean...
Will he come in? He's not coming in, right?
You know what? Just be water, my friend.
"Just be wat"... Wow, thanks, man.
What happens if I kill a Buddhist?
Do I get reincarnated as a ****ing Buddhist?
I hope not.
It's four in the morning The end of December
I'm writing you now Just to see if you're better
New York is cold But I like where I'm living
There's music On Clinton Street
All through the evening
This is Guantanamo-level shit.
- I hear that you're building - What is this, Con?
Your little house...
I think I'd like to hear "Desperado." Please?
Deep in the desert
You're living for nothing...
Uh, okay. I don't know why Dad's calling me.
Well, really he should be calling me.
What did we say? Don't answer it.
I'm not.
Hang up.
I could just, uh... Hey! I was gonna let it ring out.
Oh, shit! Of course. I didn't think of that.
Mm, with a lock of your hair
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Oh, shit.
Can we, uh, go somewhere else? These lights are...
I could have a seizure.
- We're not going anywhere. - Fine. Very well.
Okay.
Uh, we won't be needing you, Kerry. You can...
- Oh, yeah. - Thank you.
This here is a... A family ****-****, so...
Ignore me.
Okay, let's get this figured out
and then I can let you get back to your fun.
Well, it might've been a wasted trip.
Wanna give us a quick blast of "New York, New York" and **** off?
Well, I... I wanted to say something.
Yeah? Reasons we should vote through the sale?
It's... No surprises there.
Unless you do it to the tune of "The Girl From Ipanema."
Well, um, it's not that. I mean, um, uh, aside from this,
um, I guess I...
I guess I just...
I... I wanted you there a bit at my party.
Holy shit.
Did Dad just say a feeling?
Well, you know, I just...
I thought maybe it would be nice.
Oh, ****. Now... now, it's all coming out.
Oh, my God, Mr. Melodrama over here.
It's like a ****ing telenovela.
Come on, guys, he's trying something.
Look, you knew I wanted Pierce
from way back.
And when I lost out...
that was not a good feeling.
Yeah, no shit.
We practically had to walk back from Albany.
Can we just... I'm sorry. Can we cut the shit?
It's obvious why you're here.
Your father wanted to address the personal stuff
and not just launch into the business.
Well, see, this isn't personal, Dad.
Uh, this is a business decision. This is about the money.
Look, you're smart to ask about the money, you are.
But Matsson won't go there.
You haven't been around this, but I've got done a good deal,
and you'll get enough to do whatever you want.
I do ATN, you do Pierce.
It'll be a fresh start for all of us.
It'll make things better, and it starts there.
All you have to do is vote yes and support the deal.
Do you know what he's offering?
You can separate the personal and the business, you can...
Hmm. reset your dynamic
- as a family. - Oh, super.
We gonna be just how we, like, we used to be
and... and... and go on summer vacay together
and drive down Route One in an RV singing show tunes?
It may be more complicated than that.
Yeah, I mean, I guess
you're still in the honeymoon period,
so... getting your own show on TV.
Oh, are you not gonna be on TV now? No?
I'm sorry, is that not...
- Mm. - Has he ****ed you on that?
That'll happen, the ****ing.
But congrats on losing your betrayal cherry.
Enough.
I thought you'd be interested in an apology,
- but that... that's enough. - Wait, I'm sorry.
An apology? We... we missed that.
Look, I don't do apologies...
but if it means so much to you...
then sorry.
There's nothing you could say to me now
that I would ever believe.
This deal push could be worth 100 mil to us, Dad.
How many sorrys do we get for that?
Okay, to be clear...
What are you actually sorry for, Dad?
- Hmm. - Well, I'm sorry
for the helicopter for a start.
Oh! You guys, he's sorry about the helicopter from today.
Well, that's the big one, I guess.
- Are we actually doing this, Dad? - Okay.
'Cause I think, you know...
Seriously, what ****ed all this was when...
- with Mom and Italy... - Yeah, okay.
I've had certain thoughts about that.
Look, with the best of intentions,
I, uh, I got the structure of the holding company,
the ownership structure of the, um, family trust.
There is a lack of clarity and maybe,
maybe you got certain impressions...
Amazing. You sure you're not having that seizure?
I mean, he is trying, right? And what you said
you were interested in was an apology.
Okay, then. Anything else?
Come on, Dad. What are you sorry for?
Sorry for ****ing ignoring Connor
- his whole life? - Bit strong.
Hitting Rome when he was a kid?
Oh, no. I mean, everyone hit me.
I'm ****ing annoying.
For having Connor's mother locked up?
Can we not do a whole show trial here?
What about advising Tom on my divorce?
Yeah? I mean, that one... That took effort.
That was above and beyond.
Tom asked me for advice. I recommended someone
he could speak to. You weren't around.
If you'd been around, I would've offered you
the same advice.
But I can't help you if you won't see me.
Look, the bottom line is if we ask for more money,
- Matsson walks. I know that. - No! You don't know that!
You don't know him!
You don't ****ing know everything!
Just 'cause you say it doesn't make it true.
Everyone just ****ing agrees with you and believes you,
so it becomes true and then you can turn around
and say like, "Oh, you see? See? I was right."
But that is not how it is. You're a human ****ing gaslight!
Fine.
Look, I... I just want to get us all together.
What you kids don't realize, this is a good deal.
The world likes it. It makes sense.
But deals have a habit of disappearing
because pricks like Matsson get pissed off or snap. This...
This is ****ing real.
Okay, well, I think I can speak for everyone, can I?
When I say, "Go ask him for more money."
- But why? - Just good business sense.
Gotta make our own pile.
- Right, Dad? - Oh, come on!
Yeah, I mean, it's what my gut is telling me,
and so I gotta listen to my gut. It's... it's all I got to go on.
Jesus.
You're such ****ing dopes. You're not serious figures.
I love you...
but you are not...
serious people.
Look at this prick. They should get out here.
Some cunt doing the tin cans for his supper,
take a sip of that medicine.
This city... The rats are as fat as skunks.
They hardly care to run anymore.
I don't know. I don't ****ing know.
The meeting's off.
I need to see Matsson. It'll be you, me,
Tom, Karl, Frank.
- But no Gerri. - Fine.
So, how was it for you? ****ing Dad.
Amazing, just over too soon.
I could've kept going.
Rome, we're kidding, man. Kidding.
No, I know. It's fine. It's cool.
Okay. I'm going home.
Well, I'm sure she'll be in touch, Con.
You know what? It's fine.
- Really? - Yeah.
The good thing about having a family
that doesn't love you is you learn to live without it.
What? Con...
You're all chasing after Dad, saying,
"Love me, please love me. I need love.
- I need attention." - I think that's the opposite
- of what just happened. - You're needy love sponges.
And I'm a plant that grows on rocks and lives off insects
that die inside of me.
Jesus Christ, Con.
If Willa doesn't come back, that's fine.
Because I don't need love. It's like a superpower.
And if she comes back and doesn't love me,
that's okay, too, 'cause I don't need it.
Thanks for the party.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Mark Ravenhead
and Jeryd Mencken is coming up tomorrow night. -
It really is a must watch.
- Oh! - Hey, Dad.
Hey! Lookie, lookie here. Twin Cities Tessie.
I thought I smelled dairy.
So, um, that just felt a bit weird,
and there was a lot going on, so...
Oh, we know what they're like.
I've pushed the board meeting, I want you to come with me
and see Matsson tomorrow. I could use your help.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Uh, I mean, it's the wedding. Con's wedding.
Uh, but that feels... Yeah, let's see.
Tom?
- Yeah. I'll give you a moment. - Thank you.
Okay, yeah, sure.
- Here. - Okay.
There's a Night of the Long Knives coming.
Cyd's toast. I'm reinventing ATN.
I need a fire-breather.
A ruthless **** who'll do whatever it takes.
- Maybe I should go. - You're not Pierce.
Mm.
Smart people know what they are.
I mean, you really want me at ATN?
More, Romulus. More.
I need you.