1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:02,202
I'm pregnant.

2
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:03,903
JEFF:
You've got a lot

3
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:05,271
going on right now.

4
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,307
Maybe take some time off,

5
00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:09,900
focus on things at home.

6
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:10,110
Hold on.

7
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,311
Are you firing her?

8
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:12,345
MEEMAW:
Hey, George.

9
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,480
What's up?

10
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,810
Georgie and I ran
into a little...

11
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:16,583
problem at the border.

12
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:17,984
What border?

13
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,819
The Mexican one.

14
00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,354
We got arrested.

15
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,355
What?

16
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,900
Who is it?

17
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:26,926
Arrested?

18
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:28,328
What do you mean, arrested?

19
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,363
I don't know.
Some problem with Customs.

20
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,665
What were they doing in Mexico?
I don't know.

21
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,334
Why didn't they tell
us they were going?

22
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,200
How many times
I got to say I don't know?

23
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,805
(sighs) All right,
what do you know?

24
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,807
Well, they're probably gonna
have to pay some fine,

25
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,175
and-and they're
gonna need cash.

26
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:44,778
My son is gonna be
in jail overnight?

27
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,179
What about your mother?

28
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,847
Oh, she's been there before.

29
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:49,716
Meemaw's in jail?
Uh...

30
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,518
No.
Forget about it.

31
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,887
Forget about it? Do I need to
remind you I remember my birth?

32
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,188
(grunts)

33
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,289
Go to your room.

34
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,825
That was a rough day.

35
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,894
Rough day for me.

36
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,310
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

37
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,867
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

38
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,700
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

39
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:13,390
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

40
00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:17,770
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

41
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:22,480
LEON: Wait here.

42
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,150
(crickets chirping)

43
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,155
(door closes)

44
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,523
(quietly): You see what I see?

45
00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:31,991
What?

46
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:33,860
An open window.

47
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,797
You want to make
a run for it?

48
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,165
You got a better plan?

49
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,166
Yes.

50
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,868
You shutting up.

51
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,103
(door opens)

52
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,238
(mutters): Son of a *****.

53
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:46,706
New shirt.

54
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,775
You give me some seltzer,
I can get that

55
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,876
right out. Shh.

56
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,711
Sorry.
So,

57
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,680
smuggling cigarettes.

58
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,449
Your Honor, there
was no smuggling.

59
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,886
This is a... misunderstanding.

60
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,622
400 cartons
of undeclared cigarettes?

61
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,240
Is that over the limit?

62
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,693
By 399.

63
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,628
(quietly): I told
you not to talk.

64
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,196
And he told you not to talk.

65
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,464
All right. (grunts)

66
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,133
Here's your
options:

67
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,135
plead not guilty, post a bond,

68
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,636
come back here for a trial,

69
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,104
which you will lose,

70
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,439
because you're guilty.

71
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,474
Or?
Plead guilty,

72
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,909
pay a fine

73
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,911
and I never see your face again.

74
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,214
But we get the
cigarettes back, right?

75
00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:30,116
No.

76
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,385
How much
is the fine?

77
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,287
Why don't we say $2,500?

78
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,560
Let's say $500.

79
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,657
This is not a negotiation.

80
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,492
I hear ya.

81
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,593
$750.

82
00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:41,761
We're done.

83
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:44,130
Leon, get these clowns
out of here.

84
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,832
Your Honor, please,

85
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,667
I really need
those cigarettes back.

86
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,469
My girlfriend's
gonna have my baby

87
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:52,172
and I was gonna sell 'em to help
pay for the medical expenses.

88
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,308
That's a touching story.

89
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,509
Leon!

90
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,144
Sorry.

91
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,846
Too much Mountain Dew.

92
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,948
Take 'em back to holding.

93
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,484
(Meemaw sighs)

94
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:07,754
How 'bout $1,000 and you
can keep my grandson?

95
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,657
What is happening
to our family?

96
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,692
I know. Georgie
and Meemaw in jail.

97
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,327
Mom getting kicked out
of the church.

98
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,596
Georgie having a baby
out of wedlock.

99
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,532
You know what this
means, don't you?

100
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,533
What?

101
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,936
We really are white trash.

102
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:23,970
Speak for yourself.

103
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,638
I'm in college on a full ride.

104
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,775
But I wish y'all luck.

105
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,179
I really
appreciate this, Dale.

106
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,482
Smuggling
cigarettes?

107
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,883
What the hell
was she thinking?

108
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,518
It was Georgie's idea.

109
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,186
Well, that makes more sense.

110
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,688
Well,

111
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,823
whose truck we taking?

112
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,225
You're coming?

113
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,894
My ex-girlfriend in jail
at the Mexican border?

114
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,729
(chuckles) I got
to take pictures.

115
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,830
(scoffs)

116
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,650
All right, I'll drive.

117
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:53,833
But we got to stop and get film.

118
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,873
Who you spying on?

119
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,374
Meemaw's house.
There's a strange woman

120
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:03,643
loitering on her porch.

121
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,378
Let me see.

122
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,549
SHELDON:
Should we call the police?

123
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,510
MISSY:
Nah, she's too pretty

124
00:04:11,510 --> 00:04:12,419
to be a burglar.

125
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,210
I don't think that's
how that works.

126
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,259
Connie? Are you okay?

127
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:24,497
All right, I'm coming in.

128
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,332
MISSY:
Freeze, dirtbag.

129
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,335
Who are you?

130
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,402
No, no, we have

131
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:30,537
the moral high ground here.

132
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,380
Yeah. Who are you?

133
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,407
I'm a friend of the lady
that lives here.

134
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:35,742
I'm worried about her.

135
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,410
That's no lady.
That's our meemaw.

136
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,612
Are you Georgie's
brother and sister?

137
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,810
Yeah.

138
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:42,716
I'm Mandy.

139
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,184
I'm Georgie's...

140
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,419
I'm Mandy.

141
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:47,587
Oh, really?

142
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,550
Yeah, really.

143
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,790
And I'm worried
about your meemaw.

144
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,193
Well, you don't have to be.
She's fine.

145
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:55,128
She is?

146
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,763
Yes, Sheldon, she is.

147
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:57,897
So she's not in jail?

148
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,532
She's in jail?

149
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,534
Well, I thought so,
but maybe not.

150
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:11,770
So why is Connie in jail?

151
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,545
That's family business.

152
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:13,947
Although Mandy is
carrying Georgie's baby

153
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,810
and Georgie's
also in jail, so...

154
00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:16,616
Georgie's in jail?!

155
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,118
Why are you
still talking?

156
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,452
That is a valid question.

157
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,587
It's past my bedtime.

158
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:21,988
Good. Go.

159
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,456
Nice meeting you!

160
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,460
So, what happened?

161
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,396
All I know is they had
a problem at the border.

162
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,297
Something about
smuggling cigarettes.

163
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,967
(quietly):
What an idiot. Hey.

164
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,169
He was just trying to make money
'cause you got pregnant.

165
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,737
Oh, so this is my fault?

166
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,839
He didn't make that baby
on his own.

167
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,809
Look, you're just a kid, okay?

168
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,444
You don't understand
what's going on here.

169
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:47,113
I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church

170
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,115
because you won't marry
my brother.

171
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,180
I didn't know that.

172
00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:54,120
So did I win this argument?

173
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,755
Feels like I did.

174
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,458
Okay, God,

175
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,659
we need to talk.

176
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:01,494
Are you testing me?

177
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,129
Is this a test?

178
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,365
Am I Mrs. Job?

179
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,201
I try to be a good person, but...

180
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,537
lately, it feels like
you are smacking me down

181
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,339
every chance you get.

182
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,141
And I know that that might sound
a little ungrateful right now,

183
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,843
as I load my new dishwasher--

184
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,311
that I love--

185
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,847
but can't you pick on
someone else for a while?

186
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,480
SHELDON:
Who are you talking to?

187
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,149
(exhales sharply)

188
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,519
God.
To yourself. Got it.

189
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,189
And you think, like Job,
God is testing your faith?

190
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,458
(scoffs)
Sure would explain

191
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,193
all the bad things that
have been happening.

192
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,228
So believing in a god
who's going out of his way

193
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,696
to ruin your life
is more comforting

194
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,465
than believing
there's no God at all?

195
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,701
Isn't it past your bedtime?

196
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,470
I know. Good night.
(stammers)
W-Wait.

197
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,804
Where's your sister?

198
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,373
At Meemaw's,
talking to Mandy.

199
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,740
What? Why?

200
00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:49,476
Can we table this for tomorrow?

201
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,211
I'm running on fumes.

202
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,750
DALE: So instead of traveling
around the country with me,

203
00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,860
she'd rather smuggle
cigarettes and rot in jail.

204
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,222
How the hell is that
supposed to make me feel?

205
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,390
I don't know.

206
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,391
Bad?

207
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,892
Damn right, bad.

208
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,610
Treated that woman
like a queen.

209
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,562
Didn't you break up with her?

210
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,731
(huffs)
That was a bluff.

211
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,333
Never thought she'd call it.

212
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,568
Well, you are coming
to her rescue.

213
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,170
Maybe this'll turn
things around.

214
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,538
Who says I want her back?

215
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,507
Great, you don't want her back.
Let's drop it.

216
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,842
I will say one thing.

217
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,245
I miss the ***.

218
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,446
Oh, God.

219
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,810
She is vivacious.

220
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,450
And not just for a woman
her age.

221
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,852
Oh, look, a hitchhiker.

222
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,754
Let's pick him up.
Maybe he'll kill me.

223
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,589
Do you hate Georgie?

224
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:39,626
No. No, Georgie's
a good guy.

225
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,763
If anything, I hate myself
for making bad decisions.

226
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,432
Like having ***
before marriage?

227
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,967
More like having
tequila before ***.

228
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,469
MARY:
Hey.

229
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,104
What's going on here?

230
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,730
Mandy was just telling me
how she got pregnant.

231
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,275
No, no...
But you said...

232
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,711
No.
No.

233
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,280
Uh, are Georgie
and Connie okay?

234
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,881
(exhales)

235
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,483
Um, I hope so.

236
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,720
My husband just went down there
to get 'em out.

237
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,788
Okay. That's good.

238
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,258
Okay, I guess
I'll get going.

239
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,630
It... was nice seeing ya.

240
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,267
I'm sorry about your troubles
with the church.

241
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,237
What did you tell her?

242
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,839
Just the highlights.

243
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,174
Oh! I forgot I punched out
a kid in Sunday school.

244
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,843
You don't have to
tell her all that.

245
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,778
Maybe she'll feel guilty
and marry Georgie.

246
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,282
No.

247
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,200
(soft chatter in distance)

248
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,188
How ya holding up?

249
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,125
Not so good.

250
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,827
Kid ain't even born yet and
I'm already a terrible father.

251
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,196
You're not terrible.

252
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,199
A terrible father
would've walked away.

253
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,301
Thank you.

254
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,138
Was my dad real pissed off?

255
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,139
No.

256
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,940
He was positively giddy

257
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,643
about having to drive eight
hours down to the border

258
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,278
to bail your *** out.

259
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,646
Your ***, too.

260
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,150
Yeah, but I like it when
he's pissed at me.

261
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,483
(chuckling)

262
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:13,787
This'll be a cool story
to tell my kid someday.

263
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,889
Sure.

264
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,991
Oh. You know
what would be awesome?

265
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,893
If it was a boy,
we name him Winston.

266
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,695
You know,
like the cigarettes?

267
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,531
And if it's a girl,
we could name her Virginia.

268
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,132
Virginia Slims.

269
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,136
Okay.

270
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,339
I think that's enough
of you for now.

271
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,476
(sighing)

272
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,146
(loud rattling)

273
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,817
(sighs)

274
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,353
(exhales)

275
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,821
Evening!

276
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,922
Mary.

277
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,824
Evening.

278
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,929
How come George ain't
taking out the garbage?

279
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,365
He's, uh...
(inhales sharply)

280
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:01,568
I am perfectly capable
of taking the trash cans out.

281
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:02,435
'Course.

282
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,205
You are woman-- hear
you roar. (chuckling)

283
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,740
Hmm.

284
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,241
Um...

285
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,945
I sure hope we're still gonna
see y'all in church tomorrow.

286
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,346
(inhales, sighs)

287
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,281
Thank you. Um...

288
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,384
I'll think about it.

289
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:22,355
How's Georgie and his,
uh, young lady friend?

290
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,257
Great. They're great.

291
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,761
Has anything changed
vis-à-vis their... nuptials?

292
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,396
Nope. Baby's gonna be a *******.

293
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,930
That's what you're implying,
isn't it?

294
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,967
(stammers) Not a
word I like to use.

295
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,370
But, most important,
a happy, healthy...

296
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,710
Bastard.

297
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,140
What you said.

298
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,441
Good night, Pastor.

299
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,876
God bless.

300
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,815
♪ ♪

301
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,255
(grunts)

302
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,823
(knocking)

303
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,628
Yeah?

304
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,163
I can't sleep.

305
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,431
Me neither.

306
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,166
This whole Mandy thing
is a mess.

307
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,435
If you mean the nomenclature,
I agree.

308
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,836
Norman who?

309
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,404
Nomenclature--
the system of devising

310
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,972
or choosing names for things.

311
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,108
For example, if Mandy
and Georgie were married,

312
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,476
she'd be our sister-in-law.

313
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:17,510
But they're not.

314
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,845
Exactly.

315
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,480
So we need a term
for the unmarried mother

316
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,915
of our future niece or nephew.

317
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,983
How 'bout "Mandy"?

318
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:27,200
Follow me-- if we knew the ***
of the baby and it was a boy,

319
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,322
I was thinking we could call
Mandy "nephewterus,"

320
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,624
because she'd be having
a nephew in her uterus.

321
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,494
However, "nieceuterus"
just doesn't hit the ear right.

322
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,290
I still think "Mandy" works.

323
00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:37,497
Now, there is
a gender-neutral term

324
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,330
coined by linguist Samuel Martin
in the 1950s,

325
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,469
which takes the "N" from "niece"
or "nephew" with "sibling”

326
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:43,503
to get "nibling."

327
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,538
So she'd be our nibling?

328
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,207
No, the baby's the nibling.

329
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,176
Mandy would be either
the niblingess or the niblinger.

330
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,712
Or, in a swerve from
our traditional German suffixes,

331
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,713
"niblingo."

332
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,814
That one.

333
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,850
Oh, yeah, that one's the winner.

334
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,953
ADULT SHELDON:
Sadly, "niblingo"
never quite caught on.

335
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,522
But that doesn't stop me
from using it in Scrabble.

336
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,723
DALE:
This is

337
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,225
gonna be my
Christmas card.

338
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,327
What the hell?

339
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,696
What are you doing here?

340
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,331
I'm saving ya.

341
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,199
You think I got that kind
of cash lying around?

342
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,301
He doesn't.
That's why I'm saving you.

343
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,137
Well, damn.

344
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,572
Georgie, come on.
Five more minutes.

345
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,640
Now!

346
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,342
Okay! Okay.

347
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,878
Fine's paid. Let's go.

348
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,380
I'm really sorry
about this, Dad.

349
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,382
We'll talk about it in the car.

350
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,552
Well, it's just you and me.

351
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,887
Great.

352
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,822
Yeah, it is.
'Cause I'm saving ya.

353
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,365
♪ ♪

354
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,534
I know I messed up.

355
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,235
Mm-hmm.

356
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,400
And I'm gonna pay you back.

357
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,380
Every penny.

358
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,540
Mm-hmm.

359
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,178
You get that I was doing this
for the baby, right?

360
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,580
I do.

361
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:02,882
Which, when you think about it,

362
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,352
could be a reason
to be proud of me.

363
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,856
Take some time. Think about it.

364
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,463
When I get the pictures
developed, you want copies?

365
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,565
No.

366
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,701
Jail's made you cranky.

367
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,774
Still haven't
heard "thank you."

368
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,275
Thank you.

369
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,778
Those are the words, but...

370
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,146
just not feeling it.

371
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,582
I'm tired.

372
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,784
I'm sore. I'm embarrassed.

373
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,819
Could we just...

374
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,222
please not?

375
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,825
Sorry.

376
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:51,498
Did you have to join any gangs
when you were in there?

377
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,633
(chuckles)

378
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,502
Can I ask you
something?

379
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,300
What?

380
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,906
Were you scared when Mom
got pregnant with me?

381
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,741
I was terrified.

382
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,277
Huh.

383
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,679
Why? You scared?

384
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,647
Yeah.

385
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,782
Good.

386
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,949
You'd be a fool
if you weren't.

387
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,352
I don't know
what I'm doing.

388
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,987
I don't know
what's expected of me.
(sighs)

389
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,623
At least you and Mom got
married and were a team.

390
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,993
Yeah, you got it rougher
than me.

391
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,595
Does it ever stop being scary?

392
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,432
I got a call from the Mexican
border that my son was in jail.

393
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,433
What do you think?

394
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,168
Fair point.

395
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,269
Sorry.

396
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,673
It's not all scary.
There's fun parts.

397
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,941
Like what?

398
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,945
We went to the beach once.
That wasn't bad.

399
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,447
Well, regardless,
it's happening.

400
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,481
I'm gonna be a dad.

401
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,651
Yes, you are.

402
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,210
I hope I'm as good
a dad as you are.

403
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:50,230
Don't try to butter me up.

404
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:52,580
(chuckles)
You saw that, huh?
Yeah, I saw it.

405
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:53,860
Boy, you are smart.

406
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,698
Just to be clear, I'm gonna
pay you back every cent.

407
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,667
Ah. Don't worry
about it.

408
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,370
I am worrying about it. Well,

409
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,538
think of the money as a gift.

410
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,707
That I'm gonna be holding
over your head.

411
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,242
Well, that doesn't work for me.

412
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,480
How 'bout...

413
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,814
when we get home...

414
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,384
I make it up to ya?

415
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,422
Now, hold on. You want to...

416
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,559
you want to wipe out a $2,500
debt with one roll in the hay?

417
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,695
Are you saying
I'm not worth it?

418
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,996
I'm saying it's a lot of money.

419
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,765
Never mind.
Offer's off the table.

420
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,433
No, no, no, wait a minute.
Hang on.

421
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,680
Too late. Too late.

422
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,370
Hey, I was thinking
a fair price would be...

423
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,872
$500 a roll.

424
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,441
Well, isn't that
what a girl wants to hear?

425
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:45,745
Seemed fair to me.

426
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,180
(birds chirping)

427
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,490
Do you think Georgie
got a tattoo in jail?

428
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,500
No.

429
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,217
Do you think
Meemaw did?

430
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:54,870
Probably.

431
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:55,922
Are we going
to church?

432
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,570
I'm going.

433
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,259
After everything that happened?

434
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,527
Isn't that weird?

435
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,595
Doesn't matter.

436
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,197
I need to.

437
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,466
I'll go with you.

438
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,735
You don't have to.

439
00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,438
I want to.

440
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,541
("Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.
playing)

441
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,580
What?

442
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,216
♪ ♪

443
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,554
(indistinct chatter)

444
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,168
This isn't
where we sit.

445
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,304
It's all right.
All right?

446
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,674
This is nowhere near
the acoustic sweet spot. Shush.

447
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,243
And I'm sitting behind what
may be the largest man in Texas.

448
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,778
Shh!

449
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,282
Dear friends, let us love

450
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,517
one another.

451
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,200
Whoever does not love
does not know God,

452
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,822
because God is love.

453
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,694
It means that we
are responsible for sharing

454
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,996
that love
with all those around us.

455
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,265
Now let's join hands and pray.

456
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,801
Dear
Heavenly Father,

457
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,670
thank you for gathering
us here today

458
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,471
to join together
in worship...

459
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,140
I've had enough. Let's go.

460
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,808
You sure?
Yes.
Please give us

461
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,877
the strength
to reflect

462
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,713
your abundant love out
into the world.

463
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,382
Thank you
for bringing us here today

464
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,784
to join together in worship.

465
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,318
Excuse me.

466
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,554
Am I the only one struck
by the incredible hypocrisy

467
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,855
of this sermon?

468
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,491
You go on and on
about loving one another

469
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,359
and how God is love.

470
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,361
But not when it comes
to my mother and our family?

471
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,264
And why? Because my brother
impregnated a woman

472
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,298
11 years older than him?

473
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,267
Which one could argue
was an act of love.

474
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,536
Sheldon.
At least on his part. She
doesn't seem to care for him.

475
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,720
Also, earlier, you said
"Nebuh-kuh-nezzar."
Sheldon.

476
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,240
In Hebrew, it would be
pronounced "Neboo-kha-nezzar."

477
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,909
More in the back of the throat. Kha.

478
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,644
Kha. Bye. Sheldon.

479
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:58,478
Or in Hebrew, shalom.

480
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,800
Which also means "hello."
And "peace."

481
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,481
Kha! Kha!
(groans)

482
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,919
(door closes)

483
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:10,757
How's Mom?

484
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,992
Pretty upset.
(man speaking on TV)

485
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,328
Even after that
excellent speech I made?

486
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,263
For once, I don't think
you're the problem.

487
00:18:17,731 --> 00:18:18,698
Good for me.

488
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,601
(doorbell rings)

489
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,836
I'm reading.

490
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:24,637
(sighs)

491
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,760
Hi there, Missy.

492
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,811
(sighs)
May I help you?

493
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:35,115
Um, I was hoping to talk
to your mom. She around?

494
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,650
I'm not sure.
Let me see if she's available.

495
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,353
What's going on?

496
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,654
She's available.

497
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,591
(sighs softly)
Hello.

498
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,794
Mary, I am so
sorry about today.

499
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,863
I understand
why you're upset.

500
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,932
But the church is
still your family.

501
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:56,836
I'd just... hate to see you
walk away from the Lord.

502
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,107
(inhales sharply, sighs)

503
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,376
Feels like he's
walking away from me.