1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,335 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:04,237 Mary Cooper... 3 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,539 I want to *** you up. 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:08,641 (gasps) 5 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,377 I have good news. 6 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,711 Good. I could use it. 7 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:14,114 I got a job at the bowling alley. 8 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,517 Working with Brenda? 9 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,518 Every day. 10 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,121 I am so sorry about today. 11 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,856 I just hate to see you walk away 12 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,357 from the Lord. Feels like 13 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,259 He's walking away from me. 14 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,801 What is that? 15 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,136 Hamburger Helper. 16 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,710 It's official. We're poor. 17 00:00:38,710 --> 00:00:39,673 We're not poor. 18 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,141 There's hamburger in there. 19 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,809 There's hamburger in there, right? 20 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,811 (grunts softly) I like Hamburger Helper. 21 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,813 It really does help your hamburger make a great meal. 22 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,810 Well, it's a good thing you like it, 23 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:49,716 'cause you're definitely poor. 24 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,551 Like us. We're fine. 25 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,553 Actually... Just eat. 26 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,722 Do we still say grace? Why not? 27 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,291 Mom's been taking a break from the church. Mom? 28 00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:00,894 Well, I hadn't really thought about it. 29 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,429 We can if you want to. 30 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,530 Let's not. 31 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,764 As meaningless as it is, 32 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,366 I do find the ritual comforting. 33 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,835 Well, somebody make a decision. That slop's getting cold. 34 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,404 No, it's good cold or hot, like Grape-Nuts. 35 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,572 Ooh, can I say it? 36 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,940 Sure. 37 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,100 (Missy clears throat) 38 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,912 Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive 39 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,680 and bless the hands that prepared it. 40 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,450 And let me have a good hair day for school pictures 41 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,918 later this week. 42 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,187 (sighs) Let's see, what else do I want... Wrap it up. 43 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,122 And please let my dad find a full-time job 44 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:30,657 before we lose cable. Amen. 45 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:31,925 OTHERS: Amen. 46 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,961 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 47 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,764 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 48 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,933 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 49 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,360 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 50 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,639 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 51 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,510 So... 52 00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,753 how's it going with this whole 53 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,588 no church thing? 54 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,757 It's a little weird, 55 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,458 but I'm figuring it out. 56 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,160 Think you might go back? 57 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,796 I don't know yet. 58 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,297 Maybe find a different church? 59 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,767 I don't know, George. 60 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,671 I'm gonna get a beer. 61 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,805 You, uh, 62 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,730 care to join me 63 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:21,441 like the good ol' days? 64 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,176 Just 'cause I'm not going to church 65 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,311 doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker. 66 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,646 Okay. Well, then I guess 67 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,615 me and my friends will say goodnight. 68 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,652 We need to talk. 69 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,853 About what? 70 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:36,823 You do their taxes. How bad off are we? 71 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,391 Based on their part-time income, 72 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,930 we're going to run out of money by the end of the year. 73 00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:42,395 Before or after Christmas? Before. 74 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,330 Not what I wanted to hear. 75 00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,934 (sighs) Anything we can do to help? 76 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,936 Perhaps we could sell our stuff. 77 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,404 But I like my stuff. 78 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,806 I like my stuff, too. 79 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,674 Let's keep thinking. 80 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,276 (phone rings) (laughter over TV) 81 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,680 (TV mutes) 82 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,848 Hello? 83 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,850 Connie. Grant Linkletter. 84 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,685 Hello, Grant. 85 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,487 What can I do for you? 86 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,689 Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks 87 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,424 since I last asked you out, so 88 00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:12,692 I thought I'd give it another shot. 89 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,280 You ask me out every six weeks? 90 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,231 Used to be nine, but we're not getting any younger. 91 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,701 I'll tell you what... 92 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,702 fine. 93 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,571 Really? Why not? 94 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,839 (laughs) Excellent. 95 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,340 But I want to be clear, 96 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,576 this is just one of those-- whatcha call it-- 97 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,511 uh, platonic things. 98 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,846 We're just having dinner. 99 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,147 I'll take it. 100 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,882 Now, would you prefer a restaurant 101 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,550 or some good home cooking? 102 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,520 I make seven kinds of soup. 103 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,787 I think I'll just stick with a restaurant. 104 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:41,788 Fair enough, 105 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,889 but one day, 106 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:43,757 you'll try my mushroom barley, 107 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,892 and your taste buds will swoon. 108 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,860 Good night, Grant. 109 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,861 The secret is how long 110 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,162 I cook the onions. 111 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,406 Chicken coop, now. 112 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,907 (door closes) 113 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,778 Hi. 114 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,790 What are we doing? 115 00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:07,814 What are you doing? 116 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,820 What, you hired Mary 117 00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:10,750 to work at the bowling alley. 118 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,986 She needed a job. 119 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,421 I was being nice. 120 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,889 Well, you don't think it's a little weird? 121 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,491 (scoffs) This right here-- 122 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,893 it's all weird. 123 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,995 (scoffs) (sighs) Are you drunk? 124 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,297 Not nearly enough. 125 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,367 You and Mary working together is a bad idea considering... 126 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,803 you know, you and me. 127 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,438 We haven't done anything, George. 128 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,440 But there was considering. You know there was. 129 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,942 (scoffs) What do you want me to do? 130 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,910 You want me to fire her? 131 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,446 No, no. That'd be weird. 132 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,149 Which is exactly where we started. Good night. 133 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,620 (sighs) (door closes) 134 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,957 You understand what I'm saying. 135 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,462 Okay, so what are you good at? 136 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,963 I'm popular. 137 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,231 That is not a skill. 138 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,133 You can't do it. Fine. 139 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,350 Oh, you could go on Jeopardy! 140 00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:04,771 Never. I don't like answers in the form of questions. 141 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,400 I like my answers in the form of answers, and my questions 142 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,541 in the form of questions, thank you. 143 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,810 Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas 144 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,345 to TV shows like Star Trek. 145 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,247 Do you really think they'd listen to a kid? 146 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,648 My voice has gotten deeper. 147 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,170 The other day, I answered the phone, 148 00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,785 and they didn't mistake me for Mom. 149 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,987 Star Trek's not gonna buy your stupid ideas. 150 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,955 We'll see about that. 151 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:22,956 I have one where the Enterprise 152 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,157 falls into a time tunnel, 153 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,191 and Worf becomes a Worf 154 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:26,826 from 12 minutes in the future. 155 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,362 We could let people punch you for a buck. 156 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:32,565 No, all our profit would just go to medical expenses. 157 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,974 Hey, Brenda, I was trying to 158 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,430 do the books for the quarter, and I was having 159 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,711 a little trouble making sense of it. 160 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,845 You know, Mary, if... 161 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,981 if it's too big of a mess, and 162 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:51,170 you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand. 163 00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:53,530 No, I'll figure it out. 164 00:05:53,530 --> 00:05:55,880 Great. 165 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,723 So happy you're here. 166 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,591 (chuckles) 167 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,663 Hey, there. 168 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,699 Oh. (chuckles) 169 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,700 Hi, Mary. 170 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,340 (laughs) 171 00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:10,203 Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink. 172 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,339 I didn't know you bowled. 173 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,841 I didn't know you did either. 174 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,430 Actually, I, um, 175 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:18,611 I work here now. 176 00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,947 Oh, sure, okay. 177 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,820 I... 178 00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,617 I'm so sorry 179 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,619 about how things 180 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,321 went down at church. 181 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,957 If it helps at all, the place has gone to heck since you left. 182 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,260 Good. 183 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,627 (chuckles) 184 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,310 I sure do miss working with you. 185 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,900 Well, we can still be friends, 186 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,736 even if we don't work together. 187 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,871 I'd like that. 188 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,400 You find a kiddie ball yet? 189 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,242 It's not about the weight, just... 190 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,144 I have small fingers. 191 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,913 Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon. 192 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,480 Shannon, this is 193 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,150 Mary Cooper. Hi. 194 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,918 You used to be Mary Tucker. 195 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,755 Oh, not in a long time. (laughs) 196 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,956 You remember me? 197 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,758 Sorry, no. 198 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,940 Shannon Dixon. You used to babysit me. 199 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,663 Is that so? 200 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,798 She was so great. 201 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,533 She would let me stay up late and watch TV 202 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,468 while she would make out with her boyfriend. 203 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,536 (Mary laughs) 204 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:19,105 I don't... remember any of that. 205 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,341 Oh, I'm not surprised. You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet 206 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,943 pretty hard. Well, Mary Cooper. 207 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:27,113 I was... young and hadn't found the Lord. 208 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:30,316 You two have a great time. 209 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,459 Here's that invoice. 210 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,227 Oh. Great. 211 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,463 I see Pastor Rob's here again. 212 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,765 Oh, does, uh... 213 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,134 does he come here often? 214 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,836 Not with that one. 215 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,204 She's new. 216 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:55,800 Well, good for him. 217 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,310 Single, good-looking pastor. 218 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,945 In a small town like this, 219 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,747 he might as well be Roger Staubach. 220 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,185 Oh, my God. The Dallas Cowboys. 221 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,200 Oh, sure, course. 222 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,888 Um... hey, if you need me, 223 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,257 I'm gonna be in the office doing... 224 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,959 office things. 225 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,133 What are you doing here? 226 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,801 I ran out of beer at home, 227 00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,603 didn't feel like driving to the store. 228 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,720 Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself? 229 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,108 'Bout sums it up. 230 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,110 I'm changing the locks. 231 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,612 (laughs) Cheers. 232 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,151 So, how's my daughter doing? 233 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,886 Eh, she seems okay. 234 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,654 Still trying to figure things out. 235 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,157 I got to be honest, I'm not exactly upset 236 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,126 about less religion in the house. 237 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,228 (chuckles) I hear you. 238 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,230 Although, Jesus making her forgive me 239 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,365 has come in handy more than a few times. 240 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,235 (chuckles) Yeah, I played that card, too. (chuckles) 241 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:58,104 Then again, I remember Mary before God 242 00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,506 got His mitts on her, and... 243 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,175 (chuckles) ...she was pretty wild. 244 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,244 Don't have to tell me. 245 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,478 I was the person she was wild with. 246 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,815 Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you. 247 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,116 What do you mean? 248 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:14,921 Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with? 249 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:18,240 Well... yeah. 250 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,310 And just when the Enterprise is about to be 251 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,533 assimilated by the Borg, 252 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,869 another ship appears, piloted by Wesley Crusher. 253 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,838 Uh-huh. It's surprising because 254 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,673 Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, 255 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:34,774 so it's a big deal. 256 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:35,842 If you say so. 257 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,177 I have more. Commander Data... 258 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,713 I'd like a reservation for dinner. 259 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:40,847 Yes, I'll hold. 260 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,716 You want to do this over dinner? Okay. 261 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,984 I'm taking your grandmother out tonight. 262 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,686 She didn't mention it to me. 263 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,888 Maybe because it doesn't concern you. 264 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,390 My meemaw, my professor-- 265 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,590 who's in the middle of that Venn diagram? 266 00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:54,894 Yes, two people at 8:00. 267 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,863 8:00's a little late for Meemaw. 268 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,698 What time does she like to eat? 269 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,334 Well, she's old like you, so 6:30 at the latest. 270 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,400 Can we make that 6:30? Wonderful. 271 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,873 Hold on. Does she like French food? 272 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,760 I'll call you back. 273 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,345 Anyway, Commander Data... 274 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,547 Let me ask you a question, if this Commander Data 275 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,751 were taking your meemaw out for dinner, where would they go? 276 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,419 Almost certainly the holodeck. 277 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,987 Sounds trendy. 278 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,722 Is that in Houston? 279 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,527 Hello. 280 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,928 What's up? 281 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,730 I saw your "help wanted" sign. 282 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:31,931 I'd like to help, please. 283 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:32,899 How old are you? 284 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,768 How old do I need to be? 285 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:35,835 14. 286 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,871 (scoffs) Do I not look 14? 287 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,773 I don't care. Perfect. 288 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,408 So, when do I start? 289 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,943 All right, hold on, do you even like comic books? 290 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:44,778 Yeah. 291 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,120 What's your favorite? 292 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,515 Um... 293 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,884 And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just 294 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:51,951 that they have superpowers, but they act 295 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,386 as a metaphor for outsiders... 296 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,922 ...outsiders trying to find their place in society. 297 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,691 Who's your favorite? 298 00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,125 All of them. 299 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,461 Mine, too. 300 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,962 And I got the job. 301 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,230 You can't work at the comic book store. 302 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,799 If anyone should work at the comic book store, 303 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:06,800 it should be me. 304 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,680 Sorry, we're not hiring. 305 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,803 Do I at least get a discount? 306 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,371 I do. 307 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,207 (muffled crying) 308 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,814 Oh, hey, hi. (sniffles) 309 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,490 Oh... You okay? 310 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,452 Not really. 311 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,655 It's been a... rough couple of days. 312 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,490 I'm sorry. 313 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,791 Thank you. 314 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:32,959 Makes you feel better, 315 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,394 I've had a pretty good couple of days, 316 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,829 and I'm still gonna get drunk. 317 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,831 (laughs) 318 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,399 Want to join me? 319 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,680 Yes. 320 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,903 That would be nice. 321 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,105 More sad than nice, 322 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,307 but let's go. (chuckles) Okay. 323 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,714 So... this is unexpected. 324 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,416 Well, I know you like margaritas, so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 325 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,418 so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 326 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,386 Good thought. 327 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,854 But I assumed other men had come 328 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,880 to that same conclusion. 329 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,910 They have. Which led me to Polynesian fare. 330 00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:07,270 I like to think of the Mai Tai 331 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,796 as the margarita of the South Pacific. 332 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,866 You don't do anything on a whim, do you? 333 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,634 Did once, didn't like it. 334 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,804 (TV playing faintly) 335 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:18,905 I have an idea 336 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,939 for a Star Trek episode 337 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:21,241 I'd like to present to you. 338 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,709 Why me? 339 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,770 Because I'm hoping to sell it, 340 00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:25,879 and since it's going to be broadcast television, 341 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,480 I want to make sure the common man can understand it. 342 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,483 (scoffs) Well, I understand I was just insulted. 343 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,719 Excellent, I came to the right common man. 344 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,154 (TV clicks off) We start on 345 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,890 a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV, 346 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,258 then see a shuttlecraft, 347 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,461 a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space. 348 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,829 Inside the shuttlecraft, 349 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,298 we see Lieutenant Worf struggling to breathe. 350 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,902 He's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus. 351 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,737 Where are you going? I'm listening. 352 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:51,905 Cough, cough. 353 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,807 Worf is choking on spores, 354 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,342 but not just your everyday spores, 355 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,843 these are spores with their own 356 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,278 evil agenda. Uh-huh. 357 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,112 And, as he sinks 358 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,814 into a coma, a mysterious figure 359 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,148 in a spacesuit approaches. 360 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,150 He lowers the visor of his helmet revealing... 361 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,919 Future Worf. Are you hooked? 362 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,587 Oh, yeah. 363 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,955 Main titles. 364 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,490 Cue theme song and the soothing voice 365 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,493 of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says... 366 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,796 "Space..." 367 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,999 "...the final frontier." 368 00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:22,802 Who's Patrick Stewart? 369 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,307 Feeling better? I'm fine, 370 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,609 just having a little moment earlier. 371 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,777 Oh, yeah. 372 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:31,778 All right. 373 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,113 Mm. 374 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,447 Mmm. 375 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,715 ♪ ♪ 376 00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:40,153 Seems like running into Pastor Rob kind of... 377 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,788 kind of rattled you a little bit. (chuckles) 378 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:44,240 Oh, well... 379 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,160 I was asked to leave the church, 380 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,896 and he's still there, so... 381 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,965 it's still a little fresh. Mm. 382 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,367 Yeah, I get that. 383 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,803 Seems like a nice guy, though. Oh, yeah, 384 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,380 he's great. 385 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,600 Cute as a button. 386 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,800 I guess. 387 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,544 I prefer a bigger man. 388 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,460 Like George? 389 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:08,915 Oh, yeah. Bigger the better. 390 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,552 Deep within the Enterprise's control room, 391 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,687 Future Worf says, 392 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,988 "I willingly sacrifice myself 393 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,489 for the good of this mission," 394 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,258 then throws himself into the warp core. 395 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,926 There's an explosion of tachyons. 396 00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:23,563 The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus. 397 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,564 Fade out. 398 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,865 (toilet flushes) 399 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,934 Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper. 400 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,870 What do you think? 401 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:35,410 If this Worf fella was infected on the shuttles, 402 00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:36,376 why would he come back to the Enterprise 403 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877 and put everyone else in danger? 404 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,780 Well... 405 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,783 ADULT SHELDON: My father found a flaw in my story, 406 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,785 my sister had a job I envied. 407 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,288 It was a big day for the common man. 408 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,590 But then I had an idea that, 409 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:53,590 like Future Worf, was ahead of its time. 410 00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:53,893 (knock on door) 411 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,595 SHELDON: Missy. What? 412 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,980 Why is a dollar worth a dollar? 413 00:14:58,980 --> 00:14:59,933 (sighs) Sheldon, I'm busy. 414 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,735 Me too. I've solved all of our money problems. 415 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,870 I'm going to invent my own digital currency. 416 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,605 Like, printing your own? 417 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,274 No. First, we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers 418 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:09,809 and store them in a computer database. 419 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,878 Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers, 420 00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,470 then we encourage people to switch from currencies 421 00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:15,615 that are government-backed to ours. 422 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,418 It's brilliant. I'm going to be rich. 423 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,953 Speaking of, 424 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,889 did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude? 425 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,225 Or he lives in a rich dude's basement. 426 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,960 I'm still figuring it out. 427 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,228 (sighs) 428 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,266 Oh, thank you, tiki woman. 429 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,670 So... 430 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:35,835 what's going on at work? 431 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,737 I don't want to bore you with science talk. 432 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,720 No, no, I'm interested. 433 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,841 Excellent. We're in a race with the Finnish team to see 434 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,770 who can correct the unification of the leptons. 435 00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:46,846 As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously 436 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,149 while we see who crosses the finish line first. 437 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,584 So, the Finnish may be at the finish line? 438 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,653 (laughing) 439 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,900 Oh, you're witty, too. 440 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:58,858 More cheese to bait the trap. 441 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,927 Maybe we should order dinner. 442 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,960 Nonsense, there's food right here. 443 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:04,970 Pineapple, 444 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:06,332 prickly on the outside, 445 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,340 but beautiful inside, 446 00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:10,170 just like you. 447 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,900 And you know that Shannon girl... 448 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:17,430 With Pastor Rob? 449 00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,612 She was a bedwetter. 450 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,613 (laughs) 451 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,781 Ten years old. 452 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:22,949 That's not normal. 453 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,284 Maybe he'll get a fun little surprise 454 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,552 on their honeymoon. 455 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:28,355 Oh, no, they're not getting married. 456 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,689 Well, how do you know? 457 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,957 (scoffs) I don't. 458 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,159 I just think he could do better. 459 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:36,696 Mary Cooper. 460 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,498 Are you sweet on him? 461 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,200 No! What? 462 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,303 I am a married woman. 463 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,904 Happily. 464 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,173 Well, I was married once, too, didn't stop me from looking. 465 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,975 Well, I'm not looking. 466 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,511 Where you going? 467 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,645 To dance. 468 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,800 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 469 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,715 We don't drink, neither. 470 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,150 Ooh! 471 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,918 Look at me. Ooh! Wow. 472 00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,854 (Mary laughs) 473 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,156 I'm pretty good. 474 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,391 Are you familiar with the phrase, 475 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,726 "You need money to make money"? No. 476 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,396 Well, it's a phrase, and my clever twist on it is, 477 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,998 "I'm going to make money to make money." 478 00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,400 Mm-hmm. 479 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,834 Now, when I say "make money," you might think that 480 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,770 I'm talking about counterfeiting, but no, 481 00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:19,105 I'm talking about creating a unique decentralized 482 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,174 digital currency that people can pay to own. 483 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,342 Sounds like a scam. 484 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,244 No, it's an open-source currency 485 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,413 that has value due to mathematical scarcity. 486 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,114 Sounds pretty scammy. 487 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,683 (scoffs) You don't understand. 488 00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:30,884 I do. 489 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,419 You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber, 490 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,753 people don't want to admit 491 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,880 they're too stupid to understand, 492 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,560 then they give you their money. 493 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,558 Well... um... sort of. 494 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,760 Love it. How do we get started? 495 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,430 Well, all we need is a mainframe computer. 496 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,132 How much is that? New, about half a million dollars, 497 00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:48,768 but I'm hoping to find something slightly used. 498 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,871 Time will prove me right. 499 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,208 You're not gonna believe this, 500 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,409 but I don't go on a lot of dates. 501 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,711 No. 502 00:17:57,711 --> 00:17:59,379 It's true. 503 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,448 Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but 504 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,249 there was a war on and 505 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,510 most of the able-bodied men were elsewhere. 506 00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,220 So, you sowed some oats, I get it. 507 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,288 A whole field of them. 508 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,156 I was the Johnny Appleseed of oats. 509 00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,224 Okay. (laughs) 510 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,460 But here's the thing. 511 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,596 Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, 512 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,399 women start to think of you as... What's the word? 513 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:22,680 Creepy? There it is. 514 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,803 And then along comes you, 515 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,472 my little Texas firecracker, 516 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,906 playing the game of life 517 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,174 by her own set of rules. 518 00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:31,611 I'm a firecracker, I'm a pineapple... 519 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,746 Good for me. 520 00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:34,814 Can I ask you a personal question? 521 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:35,915 Oh, I wish you wouldn't. 522 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:36,950 How would you like 523 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,251 to make love to a man 524 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,186 who shook the hand of Albert Einstein? 525 00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,122 And... you did. 526 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,900 This one right here. 527 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:45,325 I didn't wash it for a week. 528 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,270 Not a selling point. 529 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,630 Excuse me for a moment. 530 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,633 I have to toss my cookies. 531 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,638 (door closes) (TV playing faintly) 532 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,873 Hey. 533 00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,207 Where you been? (TV clicks off) 534 00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:04,210 Brenda and I went dancing. 535 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,179 You went dancing? 536 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,115 Yeah, and I'm darn good at it. 537 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,483 (chuckles) Okay. 538 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,853 The kids asleep? Yep. 539 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:17,657 You want to fool around? 540 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,126 Are you messing with me? 541 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,620 I'm hoping to. 542 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,498 Well, hot diggity dog. 543 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,806 Welcome to King Kong Comics. I'm Missy. 544 00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:34,474 If you have any questions, please let me know. 545 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,875 I don't have any questions. 546 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,477 I know more about comic books than you do. 547 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,746 Okay. What you may not know is the new 548 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,314 Green Lantern just came in. 549 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:44,351 Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow, 550 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,553 and, of course, the Hulk. His skin is green. 551 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,355 I know that. Everyone knows that. 552 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,557 Uh-oh, are you gonna smash things? 553 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,359 That's something the Hulk does when he gets upset. 554 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,560 I'm not upset. 555 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,950 Cool. If you need something, 556 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:57,497 I'll be at the front counter. Where I work.