1 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:03,303 Previously on Young Sheldon... Why do you look like you're gonna cry? 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,339 A year ago, I was a TV weather girl in San Antonio, 3 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,742 and now I'm living in a garage with the 17-year-old 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,909 who got me pregnant. 5 00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:11,745 I'll be 18 before you know it. 6 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,413 But not before you're a father! 7 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,448 It's gonna be okay. 8 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,683 (sniffles, exhales) 9 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,184 Is it? 10 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,754 (whispers): I peed in the sink last night. 11 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:21,755 (squeaks) 12 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,923 Trust me. I'll fix this. 13 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,525 Make yourself at home. 14 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,761 Oh. Thank you so much. 15 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,362 It's only temporary. I promise. 16 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,964 Oh. No problem. 17 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,365 Stay as long as you need. 18 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,867 Bathroom's right down the hall. 19 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,468 Oh, boy, a bathroom. 20 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,372 MEEMAW: Here you go-- 21 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,775 scrambled eggs, bacon, 22 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:45,779 biscuits and fresh-squeezed orange juice. 23 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,647 Thank you. Looks amazing. 24 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:48,782 Where's mine? 25 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,216 You're not pregnant. She is. 26 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,318 Well, I like to think we're pregnant. 27 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,587 Really? 28 00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,560 Are your ankles swollen? 29 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,490 Did you throw up this morning? 30 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:58,792 Are you constipated? 31 00:00:58,792 --> 00:00:59,959 No, dear. 32 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,161 Stop calling me "dear." 33 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,295 I'm not your dear. 34 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,129 You want breakfast, 35 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,397 eggs are here, 36 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,398 stove is there. 37 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,499 Knock yourself out. 38 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:07,634 I get she's pregnant. 39 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,690 I don't know why you're so moody. 40 00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:10,737 On the count of three... 41 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,906 I'm leaving, I'm leaving. 42 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,307 Have a good day, Mama. 43 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,476 Ugh. "Mama." 44 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,412 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 45 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:22,150 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 46 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,484 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 47 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:27,420 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 48 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,424 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 49 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,960 ADULT SHELDON: Since losing his job, 50 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,298 one of the few upsides for my dad 51 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,634 was having the house to himself to enjoy some peace and quiet. 52 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,360 BRENDA: Billy! 53 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,605 Stop feeding the chickens Cap'n Crunch! 54 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,340 BILLY: But they like it. We've been over this. 55 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,176 You don't eat their food, they don't eat yours. 56 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,278 Everything okay over there? 57 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,214 Yeah. 58 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,116 Doesn't sound okay. 59 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,184 Oh. You don't want to know. 60 00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,519 Tell me. 61 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:03,690 He's failing math, 62 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,250 and they might hold him back. 63 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,960 That's rough. 64 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,696 I try helping him, but math was never my strong suit. 65 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,231 Yeah, I hear ya. 66 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,532 And when you do try to help 'em, they realize 67 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:13,700 how dumb you are. 68 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,669 You think... 69 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,404 Sheldon would help Billy? 70 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:20,807 (sighs) I'm not sure helping others is where he shines. 71 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,430 Pissing 'em off-- he's got that down cold. 72 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,212 Well, then I'm screwed. 73 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,647 I can't afford a tutor. 74 00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:30,483 Let me talk to Sheldon, 75 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,551 see what I can do. 76 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,553 Appreciate it. 77 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:34,654 BILLY: Mom, look! 78 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,825 That chicken is not a hat! 79 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,493 Hurry. 80 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:44,898 Hey. How was school? 81 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,166 Sucked. 82 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,334 Language. 83 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,601 You asked, and it did. 84 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,736 What happened? 85 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,237 I don't want to talk about it. 86 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:52,272 Are you sure? 87 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,207 I'm a pretty good listener. 88 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,443 Then why didn't you hear me say I don't want to talk about it? 89 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:59,790 Is this about a boy? Mom. 90 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:01,915 I-I do have some experience on the subject. 91 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,717 Please, the only two boys you have experience with 92 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,518 are Dad and Jesus. 93 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,953 I'm gonna go talk to Meemaw. 94 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,790 I know other boys. 95 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,293 And then he walked right on by me like I wasn't there. 96 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,261 Does he even know you like him? 97 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,764 I don't know. I've ignored him, been mean to him. 98 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,366 What else can I do? 99 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,968 Sounds like you've tried everything. 100 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,770 Okay. 101 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,438 I've got an idea. 102 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,940 Why don't you just tell him? 103 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,541 But what if he doesn't like me back? 104 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,609 I would die. 105 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,111 You will not die. 106 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,912 Oh, yes, I will. I will be dead, 107 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,147 and you will be sad at my funeral. 108 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,782 How about this-- 109 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,450 why don't you get one of your girlfriends 110 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,319 to find out how he feels about you. 111 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,555 Why? Because then you don't have to put yourself on the spot. 112 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,125 Okay. And if he doesn't like me back, 113 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,726 I'll just keep being mean to him until he does. 114 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:48,928 I don't know why that works. 115 00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,397 Men are dumb. 116 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,132 Does that mean we're dumb for liking 'em? 117 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,136 It's not a good look for us. 118 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,641 (knocking) You busy? 119 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,243 Yes, but I'm also excellent 120 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,812 at bifurcating my cognitive abilities. Hit me. 121 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,147 (sighs) 122 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,416 Billy is struggling with math, and, mm, 123 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,317 his mom was hoping that you could tutor him. 124 00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,252 I could. 125 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,253 Great. 126 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:13,987 But I won't. 127 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,522 Why not? 128 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,490 Because me teaching Billy is like trying to use 129 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,925 the gravitational power of a neutron star 130 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,660 to change the spin of a boson. 131 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,495 Don't do that. 132 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,197 If he doesn't pass math, 133 00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,598 they're gonna hold him back. 134 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,800 That's the system working. 135 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,100 Very Darwinian. 136 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,670 Yeah. Never mind. 137 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,505 Yeah, I told Brenda teaching wasn't really your thing. 138 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:34,841 Well, it's not that I can't do it. 139 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:35,975 Don't worry about it. 140 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,310 You're good at a lot of things. 141 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,878 Teaching just ain't one of 'em. 142 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,348 I know what you're doing. It's reverse psychology. 143 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,615 I don't know what you're talking about. 144 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,118 It's childish and obvious. 145 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,886 So you'll do it? Yes, I'll do it. 146 00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,856 Thanks for the pie. 147 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,392 Mandy keeps bringing all these leftovers from the diner. 148 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:55,362 (chuckles) Well, she's lucky to have you. 149 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:56,563 (softly): Mm-hmm. 150 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,640 And Missy, too. 151 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,867 Lucky, lucky. 152 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,303 Oh, it's killing you, isn't it? 153 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,704 What? No. 154 00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:05,739 I... 155 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,207 I am happy 156 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:10,710 that she has an adult she can confide in 157 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,812 about... (sputters softly) 158 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,649 Come on. Just tell me. 159 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,651 I would. 160 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:22,322 But the bond between a girl and her grandmother is... 161 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,757 sacred. 162 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,259 I am her mother and I am your daughter. 163 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,660 Give me something. 164 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,620 (sighs) 165 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,897 It's just boy stuff, okay? 166 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,198 (exhales) 167 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,670 That she'd rather talk to you about. 168 00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:35,235 That's right. 169 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,103 (sighing groan) 170 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,272 There you go. 171 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,409 Eat those feelings. 172 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,244 All right, I'm given to understand you have 173 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,579 a test coming up on negative numbers and fractions. 174 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,947 Yeah. 175 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,116 So, what part don't you understand? 176 00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:54,421 Oh, boy. 177 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,889 Let's take it back a step. 178 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,290 Where do you stand on addition, subtraction, 179 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,958 multiplication and division? 180 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,927 I'm against it. 181 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,395 (exhales) 182 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,630 (quietly): Oh, boy. 183 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,899 Hope you like tuna salad. 184 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,233 I brought you a whole tub. 185 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,768 How old is it? 186 00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,603 I don't know, but the clock's ticking. 187 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,439 Meemaw? 188 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,740 Uh-oh. 189 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,774 We need to talk. 190 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,377 Hi. What's going on? 191 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,245 I told Heather that I liked Kevin 192 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,281 so she could find out if he liked me back. 193 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,816 Then she asked him out. 194 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,150 What? She didn't even think 195 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,952 he was cute until I said I liked him. 196 00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,153 Well, why'd you tell her? 197 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,321 She told me to. 198 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,622 'Cause that's how you find out 199 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,124 if somebody likes you in school. 200 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,827 That's o-one way. 201 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,328 Why? What would you have done? 202 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,298 Uh, well, you put him on Heather's radar 203 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,599 when you said you liked him. 204 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,167 I probably would have dropped a note 205 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,169 in his locker or asked one of his guy friends. 206 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,671 That makes so much more sense. 207 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,673 Why didn't you tell me that? 208 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,907 I gave you good advice. 209 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,976 It's not my fault Heather sucks. 210 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,811 (scoffs) So what do I do now? 211 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,130 Well, the first thing... 212 00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:53,980 I was talking to her. 213 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,756 Okay, your basic arithmetic skills 214 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,424 are disappointing but functional. 215 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,158 Thank you. 216 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,527 All right, let's talk about negative numbers. 217 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,828 I'm all ear. 218 00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:09,863 "Ears." 219 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,331 No. "Ear." 220 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,899 This one's clogged. 221 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,901 Right. Okay. 222 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,537 Negative numbers are numbers that are less than zero. 223 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,539 But zero's nothing. Yes. 224 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,541 So how can you have less than nothing? 225 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,709 Let's see. 226 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,440 How about this? 227 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,179 If you have a dollar, that's one. 228 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,348 If you have no dollars, that's zero. 229 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,417 But if you owe me a dollar, that's negative one. 230 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,518 Does that make sense? 231 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:32,819 I think so. 232 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,187 All right, we're making progress. 233 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,488 Mom! 234 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,490 I owe Sheldon a dollar. 235 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:39,893 Tomorrow, I'm gonna tell Heather 236 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,361 what a ***** she is in front of everyone. 237 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,263 No, no, no. Don't show your cards. 238 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,732 Tomorrow, you're gonna be her best friend. Why? 239 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,233 'Cause then she'll tell you things, 240 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,535 and you can use those things against her. 241 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,936 Oh. You're good. 242 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,604 I know. 243 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:54,407 It's nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff. 244 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:57,711 My mom's pretty religious, and my meemaw's kind of old. 245 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,778 MEEMAW: Hey. 246 00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,747 I'm sitting right here. 247 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,717 Evening. 248 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,952 I thought you were with Missy. 249 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,687 Oh. 250 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,390 I thought it was a good idea if she talked to Mandy. 251 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,424 (fridge door shuts) 252 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,461 They're closer in age. 253 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,765 She threw you over, didn't she? 254 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,734 Without hesitation. 255 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,736 Stings, don't it? 256 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,700 It do. 257 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,306 Well, regardless, 258 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,309 I'm glad Missy has someone she can talk to. 259 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,245 Like a big sister. Yeah. 260 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,914 Who got knocked up by a 17-year-old knucklehead. 261 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,416 Why does she want to talk to her instead of us? 262 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,585 Pisses me off. (door opens) 263 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,652 Hey. What's up? 264 00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,554 Nothing. Just making dinner. 265 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,789 What's going on with you? 266 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,557 Just trying to stay busy. 267 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,793 Keep my mind off the fact that the mother of my child 268 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:47,927 doesn't want me around. 269 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,596 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. 270 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,132 Hey. Maybe you could put in a good word for me. 271 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,601 And what would that word be? 272 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,803 Take your pick. Dependable. 273 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:59,339 Hardworking. Trustworthy. 274 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,340 ***y. 275 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,107 Georgie. 276 00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,275 You're right. 277 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,244 ***y's how I got into this pickle. 278 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,815 And if you add negative one and positive one, 279 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:09,983 you get? 280 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,317 Zero? 281 00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,119 Correct. 282 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,621 I think I understand. 283 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,122 Good. One question-- 284 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,158 how can you have zero if zero is nothing? 285 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,960 It's not something that you have. 286 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,996 Zero represents a state of nothingness. 287 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:25,632 What does that mean? 288 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,467 It's nothingness. 289 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,200 The absence of somethingness. 290 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:31,705 Trust me, zero is a thing. 291 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,306 But you just said it's a nothing. 292 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,141 I did. 293 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,943 Which is it? 294 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,712 A something or a nothing? 295 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,380 (exploding sound) 296 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,815 (wind whooshing) 297 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,149 We have a problem. 298 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,500 What? 299 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,719 Zero might not exist. 300 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:49,155 (chuckles) Of course zero exists. 301 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,857 Great. Then explain it to me. 302 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,892 Easy. Zero is nothing. 303 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:55,280 But how can nothing be a thing? 304 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,464 Think of it this way-- 305 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,366 picture an empty box. 306 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,100 All right. 307 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,202 What's in the box? 308 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,636 Nothing. 309 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,805 It's not nothing. Air, atoms, molecules-- 310 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,841 that empty box is as full as full can be. 311 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,343 Regardless, 312 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,512 zero is very important. 313 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,247 I'm not saying it isn't important. 314 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,349 I'm just saying the little round guy ain't real. 315 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,351 You're being silly. 316 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,420 Zero is a number, 317 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,222 like every other number. 318 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,900 Oh, yeah? Can you divide with it? 319 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:25,558 Well... 320 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,228 No. 321 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,929 In fact, the Greek philosopher Parmenides said, 322 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,332 "Nothing cannot exist, because to speak of something 323 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,901 is to speak of something that exists." 324 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,237 Well, I suppose... 325 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,406 you could look at it that way. 326 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,410 Dr. Sturgis, 327 00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:42,242 zero isn't real. 328 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,770 (exploding sound) 329 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:45,378 (wind whooshing) 330 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,579 I feel dizzy. 331 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:48,748 (door opens) 332 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:52,850 Need any help making dinner? 333 00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:53,860 You? 334 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:54,120 Yeah. 335 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,560 Since when? 336 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,892 Since I thought I should learn to cook for Mandy and the baby. 337 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,929 Georgie, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. 338 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,597 Well, I'm a sweet boy. 339 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,932 So what are we doing here? 340 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,735 We are peeling potatoes. 341 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:09,903 Cool. 342 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,271 Why? 343 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,730 'Cause we're making mashed potatoes 344 00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:14,574 and we don't want the skins in 'em. 345 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,109 Uh-huh. 346 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,143 Why? 347 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:20,747 'Cause mashed potatoes are supposed to be smooth. 348 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:21,981 Hmm. (chuckles) 349 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,616 You know a lot about potatoes. 350 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,318 Go ahead. Peel one. 351 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,486 You think I'm ready? 352 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,254 Only one way to find out. 353 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,291 I'll see ya later. 354 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,125 Where you going? 355 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,126 To dinner. 356 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,260 (scoffs) I'm cooking. 357 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,129 Actually, we're cooking. 358 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,664 Actually, we're bleeding. 359 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,132 Mandy's taking me to dinner. 360 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,433 What about homework? 361 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:41,434 Don't have any. 362 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,602 Can I go with y'all? 363 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,304 I thought you were helping me cook. 364 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,138 Hang on. 365 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,272 Can I? 366 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,674 No. It's girls' night. 367 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:48,742 Bye. 368 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,613 Might want to wash this one off. 369 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,115 Oh. 370 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,816 Any updates on Kevin? 371 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,519 I did what you said and was nothing but nice to Heather. 372 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,854 Okay. How'd that go? 373 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,155 So good. 374 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,790 I found out she stuffs her bra. 375 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,525 Huh. See? When the time is right, 376 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,993 you can destroy her with that. 377 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,962 That's gonna be a good day. 378 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,697 And that trick isn't just for middle school. 379 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,699 That's something you can use for the rest of your life. 380 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,300 You are so wise. 381 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,137 Well, I have lived a little. 382 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,304 And so pretty. 383 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,639 You should be on TV. 384 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,508 Actually, when I lived in San Antonio, 385 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,430 I was a weather girl. 386 00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:25,110 Oh, my God, you were a TV star? 387 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,980 Monday through Friday, 5:00 a.m., 388 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,214 right before the farm report. 389 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,500 Okay, you're, like, my new hero. 390 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,851 Oh, stop. You could totally be a weather girl. 391 00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:34,854 No. They're all perfect and blonde. Like you. 392 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,823 Anybody can be blonde. 393 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,491 (scoffs) You think Madonna's really blonde? 394 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,160 What? 395 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,528 (whispers): She's a brunette. 396 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,663 What about her Blond Ambition Tour? 397 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,666 Ha. More like Bottle Blond Ambition Tour. 398 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,835 Funny and beautiful. 399 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,837 No wonder my brother put a baby in you. 400 00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,741 ♪ ♪ 401 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:57,510 What's wrong? 402 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,179 Zero. 403 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,140 Zero is wrong? 404 00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:02,882 Zero doesn't exist. 405 00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:04,918 I don't understand. 406 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,519 Neither do we. 407 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,922 Dr. Linkletter, there's no such thing as zero. 408 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,910 That's preposterous. Of course there is. 409 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:13,226 Prove it, tough guy. 410 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,427 (stammers) 411 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,396 ♪ ♪ 412 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,832 Uh-oh. 413 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,335 (retches, coughs) 414 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,937 May I have that? 415 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,575 (retches loudly) 416 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,577 Over here. 417 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,785 Uh-oh. 418 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,691 (footsteps approaching) 419 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,226 Let me see. 420 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,930 It's bad. 421 00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:48,228 Just stay calm. 422 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,262 I'm sure it's fine. 423 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,430 It's the end of my life. 424 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,898 Just show me. 425 00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:58,471 (exhales) Oh, my. 426 00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,807 That is... something. 427 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,342 I can probably be homeschooled, right? 428 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,645 It's okay. We can fix this. 429 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,746 Before my parents get home? 430 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,981 They're gonna kill me. 431 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,249 Oh, man. 432 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,817 Look at your head. 433 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,752 Shut up! Georgie, don't make this worse. 434 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,521 There's worse? (door opens) 435 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,989 GEORGE SR.: Anyone home? (door closes) 436 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,991 Okay, stay here. We'll stall him. 437 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,759 Do you see her head? 438 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,161 GEORGE SR.: Oh. 439 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,697 Hey. What's up? 440 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,199 Nothing. Nada. Absolutely nothing. 441 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,534 Where are the kids? 442 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,704 Well, I believe Sheldon's at Billy's. 443 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,606 Oh, good. He's helping him. 444 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,675 Mm. And Missy? 445 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,110 Missy... 446 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,845 That's a good question. 447 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,380 I haven't seen her. 448 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,184 I have not seen her, personally, myself. 449 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,519 Okay. 450 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,991 (door closes) 451 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,326 We're a good team, me and you. 452 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,627 Oh, not now, Georgie. 453 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,298 I'm afraid I have some bad news. 454 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:01,340 If you mean I'm gonna be left back, it's okay. 455 00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,680 You tried. 456 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,400 No. Well, maybe. 457 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,805 I have bad news about zero. 458 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,240 It doesn't exist. 459 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,708 So I was right? 460 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,410 No one is more shocked than I am. 461 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,879 I can't help you with your test. 462 00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,148 Without zero, I don't even know what math is anymore. 463 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,383 Hmm. 464 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,485 Yeah. Hmm. 465 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,987 What if we just pretend it exists? 466 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,557 Are you saying to accept zero as an act of faith? 467 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,425 Was I? 468 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,893 I think so. 469 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,428 Okay. 470 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,363 My mom accepts God as an act of faith, 471 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,265 and zero is way more useful than God. 472 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,100 Do not say that around Pastor Jeff. Think about it. 473 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,670 Without zero, we wouldn't have calculus. 474 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,938 Without God, we wouldn't have Spanish Inquisition. 475 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,441 I know the Spanish word for "fajita." 476 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,109 And don't forget-- before the Big Bang, 477 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,444 there was actually nothing. 478 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,845 It's "fajita." 479 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,947 So you could say the entire universe 480 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,416 was born out of zero. 481 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,252 Meaning that zero created the universe, not God. 482 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,254 Maybe we should pray to it. 483 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,622 I think we should. 484 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,426 Zero, it's me, Sheldon. 485 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,894 I know I doubted you, but in my defense, 486 00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:02,796 you're literally nothing. 487 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:05,980 I would like to thank you for all the gifts you've given us-- 488 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,434 the null set, Fibonacci sequence, 489 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,802 binary language. 490 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,804 I could go on ad infinitum, 491 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,205 but not without you. 492 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,708 (whispers): Ask Zero to help me pass my test. 493 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,443 Zero's not magic. You still have to study. 494 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,645 Oh. Then I'm going back to Jesus. 495 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,613 Jesus, please help me. 496 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,116 I'm already the biggest kid in sixth grade. 497 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,870 Amen. 498 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,323 (TV playing indistinctly) 499 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,461 Hello? Who's in there? 500 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,995 MISSY: Me. 501 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,464 I need to use the bathroom. 502 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,965 Give me a minute. 503 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,235 (sighs) 504 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,971 Can someone give me a hand with these groceries? 505 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,406 Sure. Dad, come on. 506 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:47,907 (stammers) I got to go to the bathroom. 507 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,342 Hey, Mandy. 508 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,410 Mrs. Cooper. 509 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,978 What brings you here? 510 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,314 Just saying hi to Georgie. 511 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,183 Why, hello to you, too. 512 00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,353 Let's get a move on. 513 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,250 Oh, boy. 514 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,270 Damn it, Missy. I'm two seconds away 515 00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:08,928 from peeing in your mother's prayer garden. (door closes) 516 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,498 Look what I found. 517 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,999 What the hell? 518 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,867 Melissa Cooper, 519 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,335 what did you do? 520 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,537 Yeah. What did you do? 521 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:19,839 Yeah. (door closes) 522 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,174 Good news. I think Billy 523 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,430 might pass his math test tomorrow. 524 00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,778 There's a math test tomorrow? 525 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:26,513 Your hair is upsetting me. 526 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,381 Screw it. I'm going outside. 527 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,650 (door slams) 528 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,527 (quietly): You can cheat off me if you want. 529 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,628 I studied. 530 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,630 (whispers): Thanks. 531 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,866 ADULT SHELDON: I'm not saying it was God or zero, 532 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,469 but a small miracle did happen that day. 533 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,138 Billy passed the test with a 68 534 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:55,410 and went on to the seventh grade. 535 00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:57,577 Where he remained for the next several years.