1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,168
Previously on Young Sheldon...
Arrested?

2
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,971
Well, they're probably
gonna have to pay some fine,

3
00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:07,700
and-and they're gonna need cash.

4
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:08,375
What the hell?

5
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,176
What are you doing here?

6
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,544
I'm saving you.

7
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,113
Well, damn.

8
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:14,714
Look, you're just a kid, okay?

9
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,516
You don't understand
what's going on here.

10
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,852
I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church

11
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,787
because you won't
marry my brother.

12
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:21,855
Where you going?

13
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,189
To dance.

14
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,657
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.

15
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,860
We don't drink, neither. Ooh.

16
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,129
The kids asleep?
Yup.

17
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:31,731
You want to... fool around?

18
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,667
Are you messing with me?

19
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,301
I'm hoping to.

20
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,370
Well, hot diggity dog.

21
00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,242
Hey.

22
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:43,877
Oh, thanks for coming.

23
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,879
Sounded important.
What's going on?

24
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,715
Walk with me. Okay.

25
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,717
You know that money I owe you?

26
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,719
Oh, you got it?

27
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,754
Yes and no.

28
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,589
Uh, well, which is it?

29
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,324
Yes, I got it,

30
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,226
no, I'm not giving it to you.

31
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,595
I want to give you

32
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,980
a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

33
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,600
Well, I'd prefer my money.
(video game music and chiming)

34
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,704
Do you see
any unoccupied machines here?

35
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,106
No.
Exactly.

36
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,343
We are at capacity.
It's time to expand.

37
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,780
Where?

38
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:21,470
The video store
right behind that wall

39
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:23,483
just lost its lease.

40
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,190
Aw, heck. I was gonna
pick up the new John Candy.

41
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:29,389
Well, as my partner
in this enterprise,

42
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:32,392
you can get that new
John Candy for free.

43
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,761
So you're gonna
buy a video store?

44
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,930
Video store in the front,

45
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,433
video poker in the back.

46
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,102
Where are you getting
the poker machine?

47
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,305
Biloxi, Mississippi.
Oh. You didn't
learn a lesson

48
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,474
when you got arrested
at the border?
Yes.

49
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,209
I learned not
to smuggle contraband

50
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:51,111
with my idiot grandson.

51
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,981
But there's nothing illegal
about buying poker machines.

52
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,216
Till you plug 'em in.

53
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,218
Well, sure.
(scoffs)

54
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,887
Come on. What do you say?

55
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,824
You and me, a panel truck,
Biloxi or bust?

56
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:08,495
So I'm gonna be your partner
in an illegal gambling room?

57
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,530
Hidden by a legal
video store.

58
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,900
Connie. Gee...
Come on. You said
you want to drive around

59
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,669
in an RV, see the country.

60
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,837
This is that, but exciting.

61
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,239
We could go to jail.

62
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,142
That's the exciting part.

63
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,780
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

64
00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:27,681
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

65
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,150
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,253
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

67
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:37,123
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

68
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SHELDON:
Hello, Mom.

69
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,929
It's your son, Sheldon.

70
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,597
Hello, my son, Sheldon.

71
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:45,365
I have an 8:00 a.m.

72
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,167
class tomorrow,
and I was wondering

73
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,802
if I could spend the night
in my dorm.
That's fine.

74
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,503
Now before you answer,
hear me out.

75
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,505
I have a list of reasons
why this is a good idea.

76
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,640
Number one... Sheldon,

77
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,575
I know that you're safe there.
It's fine.

78
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,644
That's reason number four.
Please don't skip ahead.

79
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:58,578
Honey,

80
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,781
I trust you. Just go to bed
at a reasonable hour

81
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,283
and call if you need anything.

82
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,718
Otherwise,
I'll see you tomorrow.

83
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,219
Okay. Number one: I'm not...

84
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,987
Goodbye, Sheldon.

85
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,157
Who hangs up on a list?

86
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,759
What's his problem now?

87
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,161
Nothing. He wants to spend
the night at the dorm

88
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,230
so he can get
to an early class.

89
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,599
Really? And you said okay?

90
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,301
He is old enough

91
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,738
to have an
overnighter, and...

92
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,507
it might be nice for us
to have a little alone time.

93
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,342
Ooh. What about Missy?

94
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,810
She's having dinner
with a friend.

95
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,446
So, the house to ourselves.

96
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,647
I like it.

97
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,950
(phone ringing)
Hold on.

98
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,752
Hello?
SHELDON: Number two--

99
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,487
I have my own bathroom. Number...

100
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:43,230
Boy, that's a lot
of plates.

101
00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:45,191
What do you want, Georgie?
I just talked to Meemaw.

102
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,930
She says she's gonna be out
of town for a couple days.

103
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:48,428
Yup, she told me.

104
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,830
Patty melt.
Good choice.

105
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,499
Okay. Enjoy.

106
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,834
I'm just worried about you
being all by yourself

107
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,169
in that big house.
I'll be fine.

108
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,380
What if there's a tornado?

109
00:03:58,380 --> 00:03:59,873
Did Meemaw ever show you
where her hidey hole is?

110
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,342
Georgie, I'm really busy
right now. Sorry.

111
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,844
I'll swing by Meemaw's later,
maybe bring some takeout.

112
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,130
Don't bother. They send me home
with plenty of food.

113
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,150
Great. Score me
a patty melt, would you?

114
00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:11,384
I won't.
I'm gonna go now.

115
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,688
What are you doing?
Kissing our baby.

116
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,289
You want one, too?

117
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,290
No.

118
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,260
Bye-bye.

119
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,620
I'm home.

120
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,700
Anybody here?

121
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,690
MARY: Missy?
Yeah.

122
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:30,904
MARY:
You're home early.

123
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,739
It's 7:00.

124
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,708
Is it?

125
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,710
Are you sleeping?

126
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,780
Yeah.

127
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:39,579
Where's Dad?

128
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:42,248
GEORGE SR.:
I'm here.

129
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,416
Ugh.

130
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,653
GEORGE SR.:
We were both just real tired.

131
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,189
Please stop talking.

132
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,857
(indistinct chatter)

133
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,927
(loud chatter
and shrieking outside room)

134
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:57,364
(rock music playing
outside room)

135
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,599
What on earth is going on?

136
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,434
♪ ♪

137
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,937
Aah!
No skateboarding in the hallway.

138
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,605
Aah!

139
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:09,309
This childishness cannot
be allowed to continue.

140
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,112
Hello. I need to tattle.

141
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,849
What?

142
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,817
Is your room on fire?

143
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,686
No.

144
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:20,954
But I see smoke.

145
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,722
Okay.

146
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,791
You need to know
there's people skateboarding

147
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,393
and playing loud music
in the hallways.

148
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,290
What do you want me
to do about it?

149
00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,397
You're the resident advisor.

150
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,731
It's your job
to enforce the rules.

151
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,134
I'll get right on it.

152
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,802
Thank you.

153
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:40,473
The system works.

154
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:45,780
(rock music playing)

155
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,680
Ugh.

156
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,500
Oh, I'm gonna be
so cranky tomorrow.

157
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,823
So, how'd you hear
about these poker machines?

158
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,910
I know a guy.

159
00:05:58,910 --> 00:05:59,592
What kind of guy?

160
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,995
A guy who knows a guy.

161
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,264
Well, what do you know
about that guy?

162
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,332
He owned a riverboat casino.

163
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,867
He owned?

164
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,336
He might be dead.

165
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,670
Dead?

166
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,500
He might not be.

167
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,540
They never found the body.

168
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,108
Oh, my God.

169
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,843
Exciting, huh?
No.

170
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,245
It's upsetting.
Oh, now, come on.

171
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,715
You've been in the sporting
goods business long enough.

172
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,750
Haven't you ever sold
a bunch of shoulder pads

173
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,118
that fell off
the back of a truck?

174
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,720
Absolutely not.

175
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,289
I buy 'em from a reputable
company named Tuffy.

176
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,240
Boring.

177
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,102
I smell your shampoo.

178
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,536
Aw, damn it.

179
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,905
How long have you been
sitting out there?

180
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,907
All night.
And why?

181
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,743
(sighs heavily)

182
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,644
Are you familiar with Arkham
Asylum from the Batman comics?

183
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,790
No.
Well, it's a madhouse,

184
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,115
as is my dormitory
after the sun goes down.

185
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,150
Sheldon, I am the president
of this university.

186
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,952
I don't handle noise complaints.

187
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,540
That's why
there's a resident advisor.

188
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,490
Oh, I went to him.
And?

189
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,824
You saw me sleeping
on the bench like a hobo.

190
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,326
What do you think?
Can't you just--

191
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,294
I don't know-- chalk this up as

192
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:09,929
part of the college experience?

193
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,931
Yeah, the clown college experience.

194
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,600
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.
(sniffles, clears throat)

195
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,602
I've compiled a
list of reasons

196
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,837
why I should be appointed
the dormitory R.A.

197
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,106
Number one...
Fine. You're the R.A.

198
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,143
Okay. "Number one:
I love rules--

199
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,811
"creating them,
following them,

200
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,446
and most fun of all,
enforcing them."

201
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,781
You're the R.A., Sheldon.

202
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,616
Excellent.
"Number two-- punishment

203
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,885
for rule infractions must be
both fair and merciless."

204
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:41,461
Hmm.
Ooh. Eggs and pancakes.

205
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:45,231
That's what a lumberjack gets
for chopping all that wood.

206
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,900
(laughs)
I'll be Paul Bunyan,

207
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,736
you can be my babe,
the blue fox.
(laughs)

208
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,500
(laughing):
George.

209
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,140
Ugh. Still?

210
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,375
Morning, honey.

211
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:56,910
What is happening
with you two?

212
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,311
What do you mean?

213
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,646
Is one of you dying?

214
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,481
No one's dying.

215
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,416
Sometimes, married people kiss.

216
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,652
On TV maybe, not here.

217
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:09,489
Well, young lady, how do you
think you came into this world?

218
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,559
Okay, you're freaking me out.

219
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:19,499
Here you go,
as advertised.

220
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:25,171
All right.
Those look good.

221
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,741
Wait. Hold on.
How do we know they work?

222
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,610
What kind of operation
you think I'm running here?

223
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,847
Well, I don't know. The word
"sketchy" comes to mind.

224
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,215
Be cool.

225
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,180
Uh, you mind
if we plug a couple in?

226
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,786
Mind if you show me the money?

227
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:42,188
Sure. Turn around.

228
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,123
Why?

229
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,358
You want the money or not?

230
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,610
(whispering):
Okay, go ahead.

231
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,960
Yeah.

232
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,474
Okay.

233
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,643
20 grand.

234
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,545
(chuckling softly)
Light 'em up.

235
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,781
(sighs)

236
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:12,452
(tunes playing,
whooshing, pinging)

237
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:18,158
That's the ***iest thing
I've ever seen in my life.

238
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,160
Really?

239
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,328
Well, I just took my pants off.

240
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,497
SHELDON (on bullhorn):
Attention, residents
of Bower Hall.

241
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,267
My name is Sheldon Cooper,
and I'm your new R.A.

242
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,402
The age of chaos is over.

243
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,737
I repeat, the age
of chaos is over.

244
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,272
Please take a moment

245
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,907
to familiarize yourself
with the dormitory rules

246
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,842
posted on the bulletin board.

247
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:39,412
Ignorance of these rules is no
excuse, and violators will be...

248
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,748
(bullhorn squeaks)

249
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,870
New rule. Unauthorized use
of my bullhorn is forbidden.

250
00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:50,323
I repeat. Unauthorized...
STUDENT (on bullhorn): Shut up.

251
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,158
(knocking)

252
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,793
Anybody home?

253
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,496
(sighs)
Oh, good. You're here.

254
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:57,997
Hey.

255
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,200
Check it out. I got this video
about childbirth.

256
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,701
I thought
we could watch it tonight.

257
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,203
That sounds awful.

258
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,638
Well, it does say
"contains graphic images"

259
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,307
right there on the box.

260
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,275
Maybe some other time, Georgie.

261
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,778
No worries. I also picked up
Look Who's Talking,

262
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,314
which is just about a baby
who says stuff.

263
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,216
If you're trying to make this,
like, a date night

264
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,884
or something,
it's not happening.

265
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,853
Oh, who said anything
about a date?

266
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,489
It's just us having dinner
and watching a movie.

267
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,724
Last time we did that
I wound up pregnant.

268
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,600
Mm, that was a good date.

269
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,329
Well, that's not
happening tonight.

270
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,964
I get it. Nothing romantic.

271
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,166
Just two future parents watching
the miracle of childbirth

272
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,636
or a movie that got two
thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.

273
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,471
SHELDON:
And not only that.

274
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,140
Then someone
defaced my rule sheet

275
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,741
with a drawing of testicles.

276
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,143
(muffled laugh)

277
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,178
Well, that is so immature.

278
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,747
I agree. Simply naming me
dorm R.A. isn't enough

279
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,249
to command respect.

280
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,840
I need a physical symbol
of my authority,

281
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:52,585
like the way a king
had a scepter.

282
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,421
So, you want a scepter?

283
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,423
No, that could be used
against me.

284
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,991
Ooh, how about a badge?

285
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,392
I'd be like a Texas Ranger

286
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,940
who patrols the halls
of a dormitory.

287
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,763
Well, these all just
such terrific ideas but,

288
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,733
um, how about an official letter
from my desk

289
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,203
with a handwritten note
attesting to your position?

290
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:14,541
All right.
"To the students of Bower Hall."

291
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,209
That's your handwriting?

292
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,778
"This document

293
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:23,516
"bestows on Sheldon Cooper
all the powers

294
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,585
and privileges
of resident advisor."

295
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,220
"Bestows." I like it.

296
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,359
Sloppy, but I like it.

297
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,361
♪ I can see a new horizon ♪

298
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,962
♪ Realize ♪

299
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,697
♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪

300
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,800
♪ You're the biggest part
of me... ♪

301
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,235
Nope.

302
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,636
♪ Need your lovin'
here beside... ♪

303
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,706
DALE:
Well, I got to tell you,

304
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,309
that was pretty exciting.
Mm. I told you.

305
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,411
For a while there,
I felt like Bonnie and Clyde,

306
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,413
without all the murder
and mayhem.

307
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,715
Well, the night's still young.

308
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:01,154
So at the risk of sounding
more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh,

309
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,556
where do we stand
in our relationship?

310
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,159
You're the one
who broke up with me.

311
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,562
Oh, maybe
I've rethought the situation.

312
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,231
So you were wrong.

313
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:15,168
I don't believe
there's any right or wrong here.

314
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:18,238
Say it. Say you were wrong.

315
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,840
I do regret it.

316
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,643
Because... you were...

317
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,278
wrong.

318
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,614
Yes.

319
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,317
So what do you say-- you want
to give it another chance?

320
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,419
Hang on.

321
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,953
Just give me a straight answer.

322
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,922
I'm a big boy.
I can take it.

323
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,590
I think we're being followed.

324
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,920
What?

325
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:40,694
No.

326
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,462
The pickup truck?

327
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,763
The orange Pinto.

328
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,632
I saw it when
we gassed up.

329
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,200
It's been two cars back
ever since.

330
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,703
I'm gonna speed up
and see what happens.

331
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,705
(engine revving)

332
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:53,206
We're being followed.

333
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,607
Are you still excited?

334
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,420
No, I'm upset.

335
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:57,110
Good.

336
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,678
Then we're on the same page.

337
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,786
(rock music playing)

338
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,855
Open up. It's the R.A.

339
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,524
Yeah?

340
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,626
It's quiet hours.
You have to turn the music off.

341
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,462
Says who?
Me, the R.A.

342
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,163
You probably didn't hear me
over the music.

343
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:21,735
Maybe this will convince you.

344
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,690
Her cursive is
maybe questionable,

345
00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:24,871
but trust me,
my authority is not.

346
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,477
♪ I know, yeah... ♪

347
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,545
Joke's on you.
I have Scotch tape.

348
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,183
I don't see him anywhere.
Do you?

349
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,552
Nope.
Oh, man.

350
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,755
Well, now that
that's over, I'm starting

351
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:43,656
to feel the excitement again.
(chuckles)

352
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,759
Crazy, right? I think
that's the way danger works.

353
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,495
Oh, it's like a rollercoaster.

354
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,960
(laughs)
Well,

355
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,330
ain't this a coincidence.

356
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,668
Oh, come on.

357
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,236
(sighs)

358
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,673
What's up?
Mom and Dad are being weird.

359
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,940
Can I hang out here?

360
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,509
Actually, ain't a good time.

361
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,743
Come on in, Missy.

362
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,130
Dang it.

363
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,682
Sucker.

364
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,683
Good.
(door closes)

365
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,840
Ooh, Look Who's Talking.

366
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,353
Classic.
Hey, did you know

367
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,188
the baby is the guy
from Die Hard?

368
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,557
No.
Yeah.

369
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,892
He can do everything.

370
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:19,959
I was sitting there.

371
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,461
Yeah, well, now you're not.

372
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,962
I'm being nothing but nice here.

373
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,197
I don't know why
you got to give me a hard time.

374
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,700
Why? I'll tell you why.

375
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,369
You ruined my life.
Is that enough "why" for you?

376
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,937
Hey, you weren't so innocent.

377
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:33,206
If I recall, you provided
alcohol to a minor-- me.

378
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,574
That's illegal.

379
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:37,110
You lied about your age.
You lied first.

380
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,312
Okay, you know what? Let's not
do this in front of your sister.

381
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,715
It actually feels normal.
Keep going.

382
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,584
And let's not forget, I only
lied 'cause you're hot.

383
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,486
Oh, my God.
We don't need

384
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,540
to watch a movie
about a talking baby.

385
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:49,456
You're right here.

386
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,459
Ooh, lock the door,
lock the door.

387
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,961
No one's home.
Just in case.

388
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,565
(both laughing)

389
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,567
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.

390
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:04,170
I have a wild and crazy idea. Ooh,

391
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,805
I like where this is headed.

392
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,808
Let's make a baby.

393
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,444
You're kidding, right?

394
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:15,682
I don't know. It might
be fun to start over.

395
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,180
Fun?
What house you been living in?

396
00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:22,122
I'm serious. We've been
getting along so great,

397
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:25,191
and I have all this
extra time on my hands.

398
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,160
Uh, let's take advantage.

399
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,763
Your son's about to have a baby.
You can take care of that one.

400
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,264
No, my mother called dibs.

401
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,266
Your mother's
a million years old.

402
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,601
You think she's gonna be
changing diapers

403
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,770
in the middle of the night?
(scoffs)

404
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,380
I'll tell you
what your problem is.

405
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:39,506
you got kicked out
of your church,

406
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,341
your-your kids are grown up,

407
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,376
you're feeling sorry
for yourself, and,

408
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,645
yeah, you think
a baby'll solve the problem.

409
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,883
Well? Say something.

410
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,652
You make me so mad.

411
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,560
Where you going?

412
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,224
We can still do it mad.

413
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:01,661
So what do you
want, uh...

414
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,650
Dennis.
Right.

415
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,901
Dennis. Tough name.

416
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:11,710
So what do you want... Dennis?

417
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:15,308
Couldn't help noticing you got
Texas plates on that truck.

418
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,412
Operating poker machines
ain't legal in Texas.

419
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,147
So what are you, a cop?

420
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,851
No, no, I'm just a guy who might
call the cops, you know,

421
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,721
if we don't come
to an arrangement.

422
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,890
Can I take your order?

423
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:30,230
DENNIS:
Thank you, honey.

424
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,592
You know, I got a hankering
for chicken fried steak.

425
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:36,162
Gravy on top,
but only if it's cream gravy.

426
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:40,600
And the mashed potatoes with
more cream and gravy on top.

427
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,603
And, uh, ice tea
when you can.

428
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,600
No gravy on that.
(clicks tongue)

429
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,108
And how about for you two?

430
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,211
I'm gonna use your restroom.

431
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,613
He knows what I like.

432
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,849
You're leaving?
Uh-huh.

433
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,685
I got to tinkle. Uh.

434
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,688
Uh,

435
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,125
I guess I'll have the waffles,

436
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:08,128
and the lady will have, um...

437
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,130
(clears throat)

438
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,866
...also waffles.

439
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,736
So, what do you think?

440
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,405
Well, Dennis, I'm not
the guy to talk to.

441
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:22,142
Uh, why don't we wait
for the boss to finish tinkling?

442
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:25,478
(country music playing)

443
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:28,314
But I do got to tell you,
this is my first shakedown.

444
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,316
Don't think of it
like that.

445
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,318
It's just a
business arrangement.

446
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,954
Well, I've been a businessman
for 38 years,

447
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,724
and I don't think I've ever
been threatened before. (laughs)

448
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,759
What kind of business you in?

449
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,832
Hello?
Huh?

450
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,268
What kind of business you in?

451
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,106
Groomer.
Hmm.

452
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,808
Dog groomer, yeah.

453
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:59,779
Cats if you make me, but
I pretty much love the doggies.

454
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,114
DENNIS:
You ever do birds?

455
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,850
No. Mm-hmm.
Birds got feathers,

456
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,786
and they're... they're
self-grooming, pretty much.

457
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,422
Yeah, I always thought
cats were self-grooming.

458
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,692
Well, people think that,
but, no. No, you got to...

459
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,950
You got to dip a cat
once in a while.

460
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,431
Well, okay then.

461
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,340
Where are you going?

462
00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:23,603
Dennis, I am really sorry
about this.

463
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,150
(loud knocking)

464
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:37,384
May I help you?

465
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:38,551
There's no hot water.

466
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,120
There is for rule followers.

467
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,287
You can't just turn off
the hot water.

468
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,880
Yeah.
Yeah.

469
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,623
If you want the benefits
of civilization,

470
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,580
you have to behave
in a civilized manner.

471
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,760
The decision is yours.

472
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,640
I don't need a pen and paper
to take names.

473
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,660
(rock music playing loudly)
You. What's your name?

474
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,468
You know I'll find out
and there will be consequences.

475
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,571
Hey, what are you...
(muffled grunting)