1 00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:02,268 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,268 --> 00:00:03,636 So, once this is up and running, 3 00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,271 anyone with a computer and a modem 4 00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:07,640 can have access to every grant offered worldwide. 5 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,143 As the kids like to say, ka-ching! 6 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,811 That's the sound of a cash register, 7 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:13,747 in case the onomatopoeia was unclear. 8 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,820 Brenda has a secret man 9 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,685 that she is hiding from everybody. Really? 10 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,353 And he might be married. 11 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,955 (chuckling): Really? 12 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,591 Look, it's not easy seeing you talk to guys. 13 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,159 You want to know what's not easy? 14 00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:27,827 Hearing from Billy Sparks about you and his mother 15 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:30,196 hanging out in their chicken coop. 16 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,464 What? 17 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,700 So you know, me and Brenda are just friends. 18 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,168 Okay. 19 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,537 I'm glad we can talk about these things. 20 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,641 Me, too. Someday we'll talk about Mom and Pastor Rob. 21 00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,315 Oh, remember today is Sheldon's big 22 00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:52,385 database launch party, so we're all very excited. 23 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,154 Yeah, how excited we talking, 24 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,221 on a scale of one to ten? 25 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,490 Uh, I don't know. Six? 26 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:58,692 Do we have any understanding 27 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:02,950 of what this data thing is? 28 00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:04,197 Not a clue. Morning, Shelly. 29 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,566 Hey, there's the big guy. 30 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,368 That was about a nine. 31 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,136 Can I get you breakfast? 32 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,538 I don't know if I can eat. I'm too excited. 33 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,607 I know. We all are. What's going on? 34 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,276 It's your brother's big day. 35 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,711 When isn't it? 36 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,879 Meemaw, are you coming to my party? 37 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:21,214 I wouldn't miss it. 38 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,349 Oh, we're gonna leave at 4:00 39 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,383 if you want to ride with us. 40 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:24,851 No, I have to meet you there. 41 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,619 I got a little business I have to take care of. 42 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,722 Oh, if you're getting me a gift, it's not that kind of party. 43 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,891 Although I wouldn't say no to a TI-81 graphing calculator. 44 00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:34,127 So what all's gonna happen at this party? 45 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,830 Well, we're gonna post to UseNet that the database is live 46 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,366 and then watch the monitor as the subscribers roll in. 47 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,700 And you're calling that a party? Bold. 48 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,973 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 49 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,642 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 50 00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:52,780 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 51 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,181 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 52 00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:59,486 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 53 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,992 We still haven't settled on a name. 54 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,328 Well, I was thinking maybe Alice. 55 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:12,265 Alice Cooper. That is bad***. Sold. 56 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,367 Wait, who said her last name's gonna be Cooper? 57 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,403 Well, that's my last name. 58 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,104 Yeah, and mine's McAllister. 59 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:20,273 Yeah, but I'm the dad. So? 60 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:22,442 I think that's just the rule. 61 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:23,777 Not my rule. 62 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,612 Well, all right. Let's not fight about it. 63 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,113 I'm pretty sure she can hear us. 64 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,949 Yeah, you're probably right. (clears throat) 65 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,851 Please don't have a giant head! 66 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,186 (chuckles) 67 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,622 Thanks for doing this. 68 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,224 Hey, you make a whole human being in your belly, 69 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,527 I get the crib and car seat, we'll call it even. 70 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,962 That is not even close to even. 71 00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:45,198 Well, I'm just saying, my list is pretty long, 72 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:46,533 and you only got the one thing. 73 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,680 (scoffs) 74 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:55,750 Hey. I didn't know you were working today. 75 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,377 No, I'm not. Just stopped by to pick up my check. 76 00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,380 Got it right here. 77 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,215 Any plans for your day off? 78 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:03,149 Nothing special. 79 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:06,219 Not seeing your mystery man? 80 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,454 Just give me my check. 81 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,255 I don't mean to pry. 82 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:12,792 It's just, your friends think you're keeping him a secret 83 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,127 'cause he's married. 84 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:18,231 There's no mystery man. And you're prying. 85 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,566 Sorry. 86 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,401 (phone rings) 87 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:27,107 Hello? Oh, Rob! Uh... 88 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,142 Pastor Rob. It's Pastor Rob. 89 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,110 I gathered. 90 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,779 Uh, lunch would be... 91 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,160 ...fine. Yes. 92 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,817 See you soon. Mm-hmm. 93 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,286 Shall I pry? 94 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,589 Uh, it's nothing. He probably just wants 95 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,524 to gossip about some church drama. 96 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,793 So here's your check. Okay, bye. 97 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,795 Buh-bye. 98 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,673 Excuse me, which one of these car seats is the best? 99 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:03,443 That'd be the Evenflo Discovery right here. 100 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,477 Top of the line. 101 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,279 Great. 102 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:08,481 Which one's your second best? 103 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,316 Is it a gift for someone? 104 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,552 No, it's for me. I'm having a kid. 105 00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:16,189 Mm. I tell you, that first ride home 106 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,558 from the hospital with the baby in the back, 107 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,994 scariest drive of your life. 108 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,562 Well, I got a station wagon. 109 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,130 It's like a tank with a cassette player. 110 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,660 That's good, good. 'Cause you can't believe 111 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,736 how fragile and tiny newborn babies are. 112 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,405 No, I can, I can believe it. 113 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,740 So you know about that spot on their head 114 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:35,842 that ain't even solid yet. 115 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,712 Sure. 116 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,549 Anyway, uh, you were interested in the basic model. 117 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:46,520 Okay, pal, I'm in sales. I know what you're doing. 118 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,189 So... 119 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,657 Just give me the expensive one. 120 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,158 Good choice. 121 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,495 (phone rings) 122 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,497 Hello? 123 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,665 Sheldon, is Georgie there? 124 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,500 No. Is your mom there? 125 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,369 No. Are there any adults there? 126 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,537 No. But I have an IQ of 187. 127 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,506 I'm sure I can figure out whatever's troubling you. 128 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,875 My water broke. I'm in labor. 129 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:10,610 Oh, dear. 130 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:15,348 (knock on door) 131 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,917 Come in. (door opens, shuts) 132 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,420 All right, let's do this. 133 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:21,788 Why are you wearing dish gloves? 134 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,560 To deliver the baby. 135 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,910 That is not happening. 136 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,227 Good. 137 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,763 Whew. Can I get a glass of water? 138 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,598 Sheldon, I need to go to the hospital. 139 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,199 Well, I can't drive. 140 00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,235 I do have a bike, but you'll never fit in the wagon. 141 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,700 I don't know how much longer I can wait. 142 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,438 I can call an ambulance. 143 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,906 It's okay, I'll drive. 144 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,107 Just come with me, okay? 145 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,743 Okay. 146 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,245 Oh... 147 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,281 Does it hurt bad? Yes! 148 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,916 That's unfortunate. 149 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,584 It's my understanding it's only gonna get worse. 150 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:52,886 (groans) 151 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,288 I'll be right back. (knock on door) 152 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,625 Mrs. Sparks, I need your help. 153 00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,993 What's with the gloves? 154 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,228 So I don't get placenta on my hands. 155 00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,597 What? 156 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,660 ROB: Thank you. 157 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,501 Thanks. 158 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:12,105 So, I haven't seen you around in a while. 159 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,741 Yeah, I've been pretty busy trying to help Pastor Jeff 160 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,476 hold things together at the church. 161 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,278 Oh. Things okay? 162 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,413 (high-pitched): You know. (snorts) 163 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,115 Not as good as they were when you were there. 164 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,117 Well, that's nice of you to say. 165 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,819 No, I mean that it's chaos. 166 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:29,122 (chuckles) I'm sure you'll pull through. (chuckles) 167 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:32,792 Yeah, actually, I got another job offer. 168 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,295 Oh. 169 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:39,199 First Baptist in Little Rock is looking for a youth pastor. 170 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,969 Arkansas. 171 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,304 That's a big move. 172 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,972 Well, I'm not sure I'm gonna take it yet, 173 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:49,642 but, um, kind of wanted to get your advice. 174 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:53,313 So you might stay? 175 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,482 Well, it's a good opportunity, bigger congregation, 176 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,384 but I'd miss the kids... Mm. 177 00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:01,354 and, you know, the friends I've made. 178 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:05,825 Sure. Are you still seeing that girl? 179 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,600 The one you babysat? 180 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,996 Yeah, that one. 181 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,665 Uh, no, no. 182 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,834 We, um, we broke up. 183 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,469 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 184 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:22,676 So, what do you think? 185 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:27,847 (exhales) Well, um... 186 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,216 I would miss 187 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,420 having you around, 188 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:38,692 but I think you need to follow your heart. 189 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,640 What if my heart doesn't know what it wants? 190 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,766 I don't know. Pick a different organ. 191 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,501 Mary Cooper. 192 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,204 Oh, grow up. (laughs) 193 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,773 That's not what I meant. (snickers) 194 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,712 Shouldn't you be laying down? 195 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,213 No, it's good to be on my feet. 196 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,715 The doctor said this could take a while. 197 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,917 Could you be more specific? 198 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,452 I have a thing at 5:00. 199 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,389 Is there anyone else I can call for you? 200 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,224 Maybe your mom? No, I can't deal with her right now. 201 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,590 Maybe after they give me drugs. 202 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:14,627 Okay, I'll just keep trying the Coopers. 203 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,429 (pained groan) 204 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,731 (exhales sharply) 205 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,232 You know, in a way, you and I are having 206 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,467 a very similar day. 207 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,403 Really? How might that be? 208 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,390 I'm also bringing something new into the world. 209 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,707 Although mine does not involve my privates 210 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,242 being inspected my strangers. 211 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,244 (breathes deeply) 212 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,245 (chuckles aggressively) 213 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,482 (phone ringing) 214 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,720 (phone ringing) 215 00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:48,428 Okay. "Tighten strap until car seat moves 216 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,163 no more than half an inch." 217 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,998 Okay. 218 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,338 Well, that's more than half an inch. 219 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,944 (grunts) 220 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,514 Aw, come on. 221 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,183 ("Tighten Up" by Archie Bell the Drells playing) 222 00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:18,910 ♪ Come on, now, drummer ♪ 223 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:20,960 ♪ I want you to tighten it up for me now ♪ 224 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,830 ♪ Tighten up on that bass, now ♪ 225 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,668 ♪ Tighten it up ♪ 226 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,170 ♪ You can get it ♪ 227 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,672 ♪ Move to your left ♪ (phone ringing) 228 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,708 ♪ Move to your right ♪ 229 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,676 ♪ Tighten it up now ♪ 230 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,545 ♪ Everything will be out of sight ♪ 231 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,480 ♪ Tighten it up ♪ 232 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,549 ♪ You can get it ♪ 233 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,883 ♪ Tighten it up now. ♪ 234 00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:49,489 You've been through this before. How long does it take? 235 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,826 Depends. With Billy, it was days. 236 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,162 Well, he always has been a tad slow. 237 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,660 I just got your message. 238 00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:01,501 Am I late? Did I miss it? 239 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,802 Actually, you're the first one here. 240 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,337 Actually, I was the first one here 241 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,672 and I'd like to be the first one to leave. 242 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,340 So who's back there with Mandy? 243 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,709 She's with the doctor. We gave her some privacy. 244 00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,978 Where the hell's Georgie? We can't find him. 245 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,546 What about Mary? Ain't she at the bowling alley? 246 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,715 No. Sh-She went out to lunch. 247 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,852 And speaking of lunch, we should get to my launch. 248 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,520 Sheldon, my granddaughter's about to be born. 249 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,550 I-I'm not going anywhere. 250 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:23,890 Oh, I'm sure Georgie will get more women pregnant. 251 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:24,891 You'll have another chance. 252 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,326 Walk away. 253 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,197 (sighs) 254 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,233 Well, I, I guess I'm gonna go. 255 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,202 Come on, stay. Keep me company. 256 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:37,837 Fine. 257 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,546 Remember the last time we were here? 258 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,683 You mean the night you gave me a heart attack? 259 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,351 Stop it. 260 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,753 I did not give you a heart attack. 261 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:57,457 You gave me something. Well... 262 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,894 Oh, hey, Mary. 263 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,195 What's going on? 264 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,630 Nothing. What's going on with you? 265 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,732 Who's with Mandy? The doctor. 266 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,401 What are you two doing out here? 267 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,604 Waiting on you. Where have you been? 268 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,606 I was at lunch. 269 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,408 Hey. 270 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,310 I hear we're having a baby. 271 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,681 What? Did I miss it? 272 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,687 Where is my dad? 273 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,656 I ask that question a lot. 274 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,910 He's not usually late. 275 00:11:31,910 --> 00:11:33,693 My mom's picking me up, but she's always late. 276 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,863 Hey. Maybe they're together. 277 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,164 Why would they be together? 278 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,632 They could be having another secret meeting 279 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,101 in the chicken coop. 280 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,503 He's probably running late at practice. 281 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,838 Okay. 282 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:48,341 I'm sure they're not together. Okay. 283 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,477 I mean it. Okay. 284 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,611 Shut up, Billy. 285 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,546 Okay. 286 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,116 What is he doing here? He's a pastor, 287 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,650 and he wanted to be here. 288 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,686 I mean what is he doing here with you? 289 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,522 He asked me for some advice, so we had lunch. 290 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,691 So that's why no one could find you for hours. 291 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,192 Are you accusing me of something? 292 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,360 Is there something to accuse you of? 293 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,300 Hey, today's the day of miracles. 294 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,331 Do you really want to be fighting? 295 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,330 Stay out of this. 296 00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:14,701 We didn't do anything wrong. 297 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,136 I think I'm gonna head out. 298 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,871 No, he's staying, you're staying. 299 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:18,872 What does that mean? 300 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,140 Nothing, just... 301 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,741 Nothing. 302 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,311 What's going on with you two? 303 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,747 (scoffs) What's going on with you two? 304 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,984 Last chance. Who wants to witness science history? 305 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,550 Don't be shy, folks. 306 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,264 AUTOMATED VOICE: You have nine new messages. 307 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,201 ♪ ♪ 308 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,737 (tires screeching) 309 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,617 Connie? What are you doing here? 310 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,920 I'm having a baby. 311 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,455 Oh. It's happening? 312 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,358 Kinda. Why are you here? 313 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:15,729 Uh, I-I had a medical thing. It-It's been handled. 314 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,230 Here, let me help you to your room. 315 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,132 What kind of thing? (stammers) Just a thing. 316 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,400 It's been tended to. 317 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,469 How-how far apart are your contractions? 318 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,571 Connie, what's going on? 319 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,805 It's hemorrhoids, okay? 320 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,640 It's embarrassing, but here we are. 321 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,777 Hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids! 322 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,212 Happy? 323 00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,500 Well, I'm about four centimeters dilated, 324 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,251 and the doctors think it could be 325 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,252 another few hours. 326 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,820 Well... 327 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,891 Good. 328 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,293 Walk slow. Oh, okay. 329 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,929 So, how often are you taking my wife out to lunch? 330 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:53,233 It was just lunch. He didn't take me out. 331 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,769 So, who's going to drive me? 'Cause time's a-tickin'. 332 00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:58,271 Sheldon, not now. G-Go check on Mandy. 333 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,274 But... Sheldon, go! 334 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,143 You are being ridiculous. 335 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,178 Am I? I got eyes, Mary. 336 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,580 So do I. And when I walked in, 337 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,449 you and Brenda were acting weird. 338 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,650 What is that about? 339 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,918 Nothing. It's about nothing. 340 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,687 Yeah, it's nothing. 341 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,990 Is my husband your mystery man? 342 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:20,126 No. She's dating someone else. 343 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,280 How do you know that? She told me. 344 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,964 Why are you talking to my husband 345 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:26,366 about your love life? 346 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,268 You know, Mary, you might want to be careful 347 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,969 about throwing stones, 348 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,838 'cause I've seen your glass house. 349 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,340 What does that mean? 350 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,675 I saw how upset you were when this one was on a date. 351 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,546 Really? What the hell do you mean, "really"? 352 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,481 What's going on? Where's Mandy? 353 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,817 Uh, she's fine. She's in her room. 354 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:46,353 So she's having a baby by herself 355 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,487 while you're all out here? 356 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,689 No, Sheldon's with her. 357 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,791 Unbelievable. 358 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,895 George, Mary. 359 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,664 Jim. It's nice to see you. 360 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,650 Hey, how are you? My name's... 361 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:00,633 AUDREY: Jim! Gotta go. 362 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,310 Can't believe this. 363 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,313 Where you going? Home. 364 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,490 They clearly forgot about us. 365 00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:18,585 This sucks. 366 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,200 Do you think my mom and your dad 367 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,921 are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend? 368 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,523 No. 369 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,260 If they got married, would that make us brother and sister? 370 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,594 It's not gonna happen. 371 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,363 Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia were brother and sister, 372 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,598 and they still kissed. 373 00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:34,934 I didn't write it. 374 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,390 Excuse me, does that computer have a modem? 375 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:42,542 A what? A modem. It's how you access the World Wide Web. 376 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,543 The what? 377 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,378 It's when your computer wants 378 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,680 to talk to another computer, 379 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,616 and it goes... (imitating modem dialing) 380 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,570 You mean a fax machine. 381 00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:59,259 It's like I'm from the future. 382 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,134 What are you doing out here? 383 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,270 I heard Mandy was having the baby. 384 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,273 Yes, but that happens inside. 385 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,442 I know. 386 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,777 Aren't you going in? 387 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,946 I can't. 388 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,820 Oh, these doors are automated. 389 00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:23,483 You just walk towards them and they open. 390 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,418 I can't be a dad. 391 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,454 I couldn't even install a car seat. 392 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,957 Great. You can drive me to my launch party. 393 00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:33,993 (Mandy exhales) 394 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,395 you're doing great, sweetie. 395 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,564 Didn't work 30 years ago, doesn't work now. 396 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,466 I think I'll just let y'all have a little family time. 397 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,800 Please stay. 398 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,836 Hey. 399 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,438 Oh, how we doing? I'm all right. 400 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,840 (sighs) 401 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,841 Are you all right? 402 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,176 I'm fine. Just fine. 403 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,945 Fine? Looked like your husband was gonna 404 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,647 punch out that guy in the waiting room. What happened? 405 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,483 When did you get here? 406 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,684 Earlier. 407 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,620 So, who did George almost punch? 408 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,956 Some little fella with a mustache. 409 00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,424 (Mandy groans) 410 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,960 Okay, hang in there, baby, you're doing great. 411 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,194 What did I just tell you? 412 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,996 I don't know what else to say. 413 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,998 Thank you for doing this. 414 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,601 Mm-hmm. 415 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,603 You know, you wait and you wait and you wait, 416 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,400 and you think the day's never gonna come, 417 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,674 and then pow, it's here. I know. 418 00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:22,375 Everyone thought I was too young, 419 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,945 that I wouldn't see it through, but here I am. 420 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,616 To think I almost missed it. 421 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,719 I would have regretted that for the rest of my life. 422 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,223 (turn signal ticking) 423 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,292 Why are we turning around? 424 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,894 (door opens) 425 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:45,331 Hey. 426 00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,866 What's going on with you two? 427 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,234 Nothing. We're fine. 428 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,669 You know what, if you're gonna fight, 429 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,400 can you do it out loud? 430 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,205 'Cause I could really use the distraction. 431 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,740 No one's fighting. (pained groan) 432 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:58,110 Where is that big needle? I was promised a big needle. 433 00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,680 I think we're getting close. Since the father's not here, 434 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,382 I'll go in the delivery room with you. 435 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,353 Or I'm happy to go, if you want. 436 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,488 I'm not gonna be sitting down anytime soon. 437 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:09,889 Georgie will be here. 438 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,425 If he were gonna be here, he'd be here. 439 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,940 But honestly, who's surprised? 440 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,620 Well, I'm a little surprised. 441 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:17,430 Jim, not now. 442 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,233 All right, well, I can have my own opinion. 443 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,568 I think he's a good kid. 444 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,937 You never take my side. 445 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,538 Are you kidding me?! 446 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,408 I missed her whole pregnancy 'cause I took your side. 447 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,877 So you're just, you're just okay with all of this? 448 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:34,800 My daughter is having a baby. I'm thrilled. 449 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,249 Aw, Dad. (pained breath) 450 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,884 (groans) 451 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:40,860 Sorry I'm late. 452 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:41,588 Oh, no, no, no. You're right on time. 453 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,555 Told you. 454 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,392 You are completely late, but I'm really glad you're here. 455 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,560 Do you want all these people around? 456 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,561 No! 457 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,896 All right, everybody out. 458 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,364 But... Out. 459 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,566 Uh, we'll be in the waiting room if you need us. 460 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,568 My advice, take all the drugs they offer. 461 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,636 I plan to. 462 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,141 How you doing? Where were you? 463 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,576 I'm sorry. I was trying to install the car seat, 464 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,944 and I didn't hear the phone. 465 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,913 It's okay, you made it. 466 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,883 Did you get it installed? Sheldon did. 467 00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,951 Turns out, it takes a genius. 468 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,253 (laughs, winces) 469 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,728 Mom, sit. 470 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,731 No, no, I'm, I'm good. 471 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,900 She's here. 472 00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:30,904 She's tiny and perfect, and Mandy's doing great. 473 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,743 Oh, what's her name? 474 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,212 Constance. 475 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,214 Oh... 476 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:45,518 Yes. Thank you. 477 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,870 Is there a middle name? 478 00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,550 We're still working on it. 479 00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:50,523 Can we see her? 480 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,891 Well, they're sleeping right now, 481 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,930 but I'll let y'all know when they're up. 482 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,862 Well, we're gonna be right here. 483 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,732 So you're a grandma. 484 00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:01,340 I know. 485 00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:04,604 (laughs) Let's get you some tissue. 486 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,342 I'm gonna stay at my mom's house tonight. 487 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,745 Fine by me. 488 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,513 I just talked to Dr. Sturgis. 489 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,715 We didn't get a single subscriber. 490 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:19,552 My database is a complete failure. 491 00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:23,890 I know, I'm upset, too. 492 00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:24,958 Where's Missy?